【周周有招】新教材同步尖子班讲义第26讲Unit 2 Wildlife Protection(倡议海报写作·三要素成稿法)-2026-2027学年高中英语人教版必修第二册(教师版+学生版)

2026-10-19
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2026-2027学年 高一 上册 英语 人教版-新教材  必修第二册 第26讲 倡议海报写作 · Unit 2 Wildlife Protection 同步课·写作产出-任务式|120分钟(2课时连排) 把口号板写成行动令 (学生版) 课时:第一课时写第一稿;第二课时诊断、只改一处、换一种动物再写一稿;课后 30 分钟独立成稿。 学习目标: 目标 1 事实钉:一个具体数字或可查证的事实,说得出出处。 目标 2 行动链写全:谁、做什么、什么时候、怎么做。 目标 3 拿三条标准判一份初稿,只改一处,交出第二稿。 核心点:三要素成形|附带覆盖:数字的出处、动词的实与虚、海报的词数控制。 一、今天要交的东西 学校"野生动物保护周"下月开幕,教学楼布告栏留出一整面墙给英文海报。为一种濒危动物写一张海报的文字稿:标题一行、正文 60–80 词、行动口号一行。字交上去,画交给美术组。 标准在前,句子才有靶子。 维度 达标的样子 不达标的样子 事实钉 至少 1 个具体数字或可查证事实,说得出出处 只有 many、a lot of 这类虚词 行动链 读者知道谁、做什么、什么时候怎么做 只有 We should protect… 的口号 情感钩 一个画面,或一句第二人称,让人停下 平铺直叙,或全靠感叹号 三条的排序就是重要性的排序。多数初稿死在第二条:口号那一句喊得再响,路人走过去,还是不知道该做什么。 落笔前替读者想三句,答案写在稿纸页眉上,写正文时抬头能看见: 读者是谁?______ 他关心什么?______ 他凭什么在这张纸前停下来?______(每空写一个短句,不超过八个词) 布告栏前站着的是赶课间的同年级同学,脑子里是午饭和月考,不是野生动物。你的海报要从他手里抢三秒钟——抢的就是第一句。 60–80 词的限制由此而来:三秒钟读不完的海报,写得再好也白写。 二、三份料,各取一样 写海报最怕两手空空坐下来憋。下面三份料,一份给事实,一份给链条,一份留到第五节才发。每份只取一样东西,不整段抄,只摘词句。 素材① 高原上的一种羊(约 125 词) 先通读,不查词。读完只做一件事:圈出三个能查的数字。 The Tibetan antelope once numbered about one million. By the early 1990s the herd had fallen to between 65,000 and 72,000. Hunters were after a fine underwool, woven into shahtoosh shawls: three to five antelopes died for a single shawl. Protection began with land. Two reserves, Changtang and Selin Co, now hold more than 70 percent of the animals, and patrol teams follow the poachers across the plateau. In the calving season, traffic on the highway and the railway is held back and horns are banned while the herds cross. The count tells the result. By 2021 the population had climbed to about 300,000, and Kekexili had gone eleven years without a single recorded poaching case. 1. 圈数字:从上面三段里圈出三个数字,每个后面写清它管什么(种群/年份/比例/年数),再写一句它出自哪一段——抄该段首句即可。 词汇挂钩:这一段里能整块搬上海报的表达。 表达 形态变化 放进句子的样子 number number—numbered—numbered(动词) The herd once numbered about one million. fall to fall—fell—fallen The herd fell to 72,000 by the early 1990s. hold hold—held—held Two reserves hold over 70 percent of the animals. be banned ban—banned—banned Horns are banned while the herds cross. without a single… 后接名词 Eleven years without a single recorded case. 选词填空:从上面五条里选四个填进句子,动词按语境变形。 (1) The herd once ____ about one million, then ____ to 72,000 in two decades. (2) Two reserves now ____ more than 70 percent of the animals. (3) In the calving season, horns ____ while the herds cross the highway. 素材② 海滩上的灯(222 词) 读法说清:一遍通读,生词不查——猜,猜不出跳过。海报要的不是每个词,是那条链。读完做第 2 题。 Every summer, loggerhead turtles return to the same beaches where they were born to lay their eggs. Yet fewer and fewer baby turtles survive their first journey from sand to sea. Bright lights from hotels and streets confuse them: instead of following the moonlight on the waves, they crawl inland and die of exhaustion. To deal with the problem, coastal towns have passed new rules. Beachfront lights must be turned off or covered after ten at night, heavy machines are kept away from nesting areas, and volunteers watch over the nests night after night. Signs along the beach remind visitors of the harm a single footstep can do to a nest hidden under the sand. These measures resulted in a slow but real recovery: on beaches monitored by the state wildlife agency, the number of nests has risen for five years in a row. Scientists warn, however, that the species remains in danger. Recovery from a hundred years of damage will not come quickly — a loggerhead needs over twenty years to grow old enough to lay eggs of its own. The lesson is the same as it is for every wild species. We did not break the beach in a day, and we will not repair it in a day. But every dark night is a gift, because it lets the baby turtles find their way home. 2. 链条表:这篇说明文藏着一条"问题—原因—措施—结果"的链。四格各填一条,每格不超过 8 个词,词从文中取。 链节 文中取词(≤8 词) 问题 原因 措施 结果 三、先写一稿:15 分钟 词库放在这里,防词穷。两栏用法不同,别混着拿:左栏整块搬走就能用;右栏必须跟着主语和时态改形态——原形照搬,一眼能看出来。 功能 可直接整块套用 须按语境变形 事实钉 on the brink of / endangered species / more than 70 percent fall by half → fell to 72,000 行动链 join… / volunteer at… / give one hour be taken off the list → was taken off the list 情感钩 imagine… / every dark night / a path home find one's way home → find their way home 一条高频错:endanger 是及物动词,"使…濒危"——Human activity endangers the species;endangered 是形容词,"濒危的"——The species is endangered。不能写 It is endanger:那个位置缺的是形容词。要动词就用 Human activity endangers the species,要形容词就用 The species is endangered,也可以换成 The species is on the brink of collapse。 动笔前 60 秒热身,先把"行动链"这个词焐热。把下面这句口号改下去,嘴上说完就行,不落纸: We should save water. 骨架照搬:谁(一间宿舍)+做什么(缩短淋浴)+怎么做(手机闹钟定五分钟)。改完跟邻座的两句并排比一比:谁的更像一件真会发生的事? 下面 15 分钟里的所有修改,走的都是这个路子。 先改一句,再写全篇。三句病句,挑一句改,改完对照下面那份: (1) We should protect the animals. (2) The animals are in danger. (3) We must take action now. 改法示范(改第 1 句):Join the beach clean-up this Saturday morning, and bring one friend. 这一步做了什么:主语换成 you,动作换成 join,时间落到 this Saturday morning——三处填满,口号就变成一件真能去做的事。 计时 15 分钟。静默段:不答疑、不提示——行不行,第四节拿三条标准自己判。写高原上那种羊,也可以自选一种查得到资料的濒危动物。时间这样切:前 5 分钟不动笔,把料里的钉和链圈出来;中间 8 分钟一口气写完;最后 2 分钟对照三条标准,只看,不改。 初稿写在这里: ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ (全部卡住→只写三行:一个数字、一个原因、一个动作,写完再补标题。) 四、三份稿子,三种病 三份稿子摆在下面,三种典型病。诊断走三步:先通读一遍,不下判;再对三条标准逐条打勾打叉;最后每份写一句总评,只许一句——能一句话说清病在哪,才算真看懂。 初稿甲(口号型): SAVE THE ANIMALS! Animals are our good friends. They are beautiful and important. We should protect them. Protect wildlife, protect our future! Let us act now! 初稿乙(有行动、无事实): LIGHTS OFF FOR TURTLES Please turn off every light you bring to the beach at night. Keep off the sand dunes. Join our beach walk this Friday. Baby turtles need a dark beach. 初稿丙(合格稿): AFTER 10 P.M., THIS BEACH IS THEIRS Bright hotel lights pull baby turtles inland, away from the sea they were born for. On beaches that went dark, nests have risen for five years in a row. One lamp is enough to send a whole nest the wrong way. Tonight, before you step onto the sand, switch off every light you brought, walk round the dunes, and let them find the sea by moonlight. Dark beaches, living turtles. 1. 诊断表:三条标准逐条判,达标打勾,不达标打叉。 维度 初稿甲 初稿乙 初稿丙 事实钉 行动链 情感钩 2. 哪一份合格?它赢在哪一条?用一句话回答,句子里必须出现标准里的词。 ________________________ 逐份说这三份稿子怎么看。 甲的毛病不在英语,在"没发生":全文没有一个名词落到地上。它假设读者已经同意,只差被煽动——布告栏前的路人没有这个义务。friends、beautiful、important,三个词换掉一个都成立;换成 pandas、eagles,全文不用改一个字。能随便换主语的呼吁,等于没有呼吁。 乙像一个热心的组织者写的,三个动作都具体。可它缺一颗钉:凭什么乌龟需要黑沙滩?读者心里那句"真的吗"没人接住。有链无钉,行动悬空——多数人会善意地点头,然后打开手电筒继续走。 丙把素材②拆成了海报:正文 64 词,一个数字、一句归因、一条动作链,再没别的。 看它的克制。三个事实在第一句之前就被砍到只剩一个,剩下的字数全给了行动。克制本身就是说服力——海报上每一条信息都在抢路人的三秒钟。 三份放在一起,病根是同一个:都把作者自己的感受当成了读者的需要。甲以为读者要被感动,乙以为读者要被使唤,只有丙先回答读者心里的三问——真的吗?读者凭什么信?然后呢?三条标准,就是这三问换成的三种问句。 三句话记住它:让人停下(钩),让人相信(钉),让人动起来(链)。顺序不能反——先停,再信,最后才动。 判过甲乙丙,这三句才有着落;没判过,它只是三个要背的名词。 (一)事实钉:小、硬、可查 先看素材②里的两句: "Bright lights from hotels and streets confuse them." "…the number of nests has risen for five years in a row." 两句的共同点:一句给原因,一句给结果;都没有形容词;都让人没法反驳。 规律收束:事实钉=具体数字或可查证事实+说得出出处。它的对立面不是"错话",是"虚话"——many、a lot of、more and more 放在海报上,等于什么都没说。 虚与实并排看一对,差异只有一个词组: 虚:The antelope population dropped a lot. 实:The herd fell from 72,000 in the early 1990s to about 300,000 by 2021. 换掉的三个词改变了什么?a lot 谁都无法反驳,也因此毫无意义;72,000、300,000、2021 给了起点、终点和时间,读者可以质疑,也可以查。能被查证的话,才值得被相信。 再往下问一层:数字什么时候不算钉? 反例:The population has reached 300,000. 这句话有数字,却没有基准——跟哪一年比?三年前是这个数,这句话等于没说。 仅当一个数字说得清起点与终点时,它才是钉;孤零零的一个数只是背景。上面那句改成 from 72,000 to 300,000 by 2021,钉才立住。 素材里一个数字都没有,怎么办? 退一步,用可查证事实代替——地名、机构名、具体时间点都算。Kazakhstan set up ranger patrols 一个数字没给,但谁、在哪、做了什么全都可查,照样是钉。查不到的"事实",写得再具体也是空话。 数字必须指得出处,三选一:段落首句、机构名(国家林草局、IUCN、WWF)、语篇行号。说不出处的数字,读者默认是编的——这条不能商量。 判三句,哪一句是钉,哪一句只是背景: (1) The population reached 300,000. (2) The herd fell from 72,000 to about 300,000 by 2021. (3) Many antelopes died for their wool. ________________________ 最后确认一步:把下面这句里的事实删掉,看海报塌不塌。 原稿:On beaches that went dark, nests have risen for five years in a row. 删掉 five years in a row,句子只剩一句空话,海报当场塌掉——这就是钉。删了照样读得通的,那句本来就不是钉,换成真的。 (二)行动链:谁+做什么+什么时候怎么做 反例先摆出来: "We should protect wildlife." 这句的毛病不在语法,在它不发生——没有人、没有动作、没有做法。读的人点个头,走了。 对错双例并排,差异自己圈: 错例(初稿甲的尾巴):"Let us act now!" 正例(初稿丙的尾巴):"Tonight, before you step onto the sand, switch off every light you brought, walk round the dunes, and let them find the sea by moonlight." 正例多了什么?时间(Tonight)、对象(before you step onto the sand)、动作(switch off、walk round)、做法(let them find the sea by moonlight)。 看到"should+抽象名词",判口号;看到"时间或对象+具体动作",判行动链。写完自问三句:谁做?做什么?什么时候、怎么做?三句都答得出,链才闭合。 行动链的命门在动词。protect、save、act 是三个假动作——听着大,没法做;turn off、join、stop buying、give one hour 才是真动作——闭上眼能看见一个人在动。写完圈出链里的动词,看不见画面的,换掉。 再回素材①看一条措施句:In the calving season, traffic on the highway and the railway is held back and horns are banned while the herds cross. 这一句的主语不是"我们",是交通和喇叭。海报写给机构,动作的主语就该是机构——把 We 换成 The city,句子才有人接。 例外留一个口:海报写给决策者(比如写给市长),行动链的对象要换成"他",句子跟着变——写成 We ask the city to…。人是具体的,动作才落得了地,这一条两边通用。 链写几句?一到两句。三张动作清单并排的海报,读完的人还没见过。 纸上判两句,判完再看下面的对照: (1) We must take action to help the turtles!   (2) Ask your hotel to cover its beachfront lights after ten. ________________________ (三)情感钩:一个就够 还是素材②。结尾那句 "But every dark night is a gift, because it lets the baby turtles find their way home."——没有数字,没有指令,却给了一个画面:黑暗的沙滩,小海龟爬向海。这个画面就是钩。 钩只有两种可靠形态:一个画面(让读者看见),或一句第二人称(让读者在场),比如 "Imagine you are the only light on that beach." 一句就够。 反面先钉死,免得把呐喊当钩子: "Imagine thousands of turtles dying every night!!!" 三个惊叹号,零事实,读者只听见有人在喊。这一句给的是音量,不是画面——呐喊不需要人回应,画面才让人停下。 落到动手层:钩子只有两个写法——挑一件事写成画面,或把读者写进句子里说"你"。选不定就按这个顺序试,先写画面,画面写不出再改用"你"。 钩子多了是灾难:一张海报一个钩,位置通常在标题或末句。 中间塞钩子会冲断事实钉。多数好海报的分工是标题扛钩、末句扛链——不必当定律,新手照这个排,出错最少。 判两句,哪一句是钩: (1) Every dark night is a gift to a baby turtle. (2) Turtles are very important to our environment. ________________________ 三要素怎么装进 60–80 词?给个大致配额:标题 ≤6 词,扛情感钩;正文第一句钉事实,第二句给原因或结果;末句完整行动链;口号单独一行,是全海报最后读到的那个动作。初稿丙就是这个排布:标题 5 词、正文 3 句、口号 3 词——回头看一眼,严丝合缝。 最后把三种典型错误收成一张表,每条配正反例各一句。这张表和第六节的速查表配对用: 易错点 正例 反例 口号当行动 Turn off beach lights after 10 p.m. We should protect wildlife. 数字无出处 Nests rose for five years in a row (field reports). The number increased a lot. 钩子盖过事实 标题一个画面,正文一个数字 三个感叹句,零事实 五、只改一个点,然后换一种动物 回到自己的初稿。规则只有一条:只改行动链那一句,别的不动。改三个点等于没改——这是全课最反直觉、也最要紧的一条纪律。事实钉不牢?情感钩没有?都留着,后面有的是机会。 1. 自评+重写:先填三个空格——我的行动链:谁____;做什么____;什么时候怎么做____。哪格答不出,就改哪格。 改写后的行动链(完整一句,标点照写): ________________________ ________________________ 这一句是第六节并排表"改后"那一栏的来处,写完别揉——下课前还要原样抄进表。 改的时候容易走偏。三种走偏的样子摆在这里,自己对号: (1) 加副词:We should protect the endangered animals more actively. (2) 换主语:Students must pay attention to wildlife. (3) 补动作:Hand in one photo of a wild bird at the school gate by Friday. 改完把笔放下,换一份料:赛加羚羊,一种多数人没听过的动物(215 词)。 读的时候手里拿笔:圈三个数字,再圈一件反常的事——偷猎者后来当上了护林员。读完做题 2。 In the 1990s, the saiga antelope of Central Asia suffered one of the fastest population crashes ever recorded. Once numbering over one million, the species collapsed to fewer than 50,000 in barely a decade. The main threat was not habitat loss but uncontrolled hunting: after the collapse of the Soviet Union, unemployed local people turned to poaching the antelope for its meat and its horn, which was sold illegally abroad. Conservationists acted quickly. Kazakhstan and Russia placed the saiga under strict national protection, set up ranger patrols, and worked with local communities to create alternative incomes. Education programmes in village schools taught children why the animal mattered, and former poachers were hired as wildlife guards. Yet the road to recovery remained uncertain. In 2015, a mysterious bacterial disease swept through several herds and killed more than 200,000 saigas in a matter of weeks — a harsh reminder that even protected species remain fragile. By 2025, the saiga population had climbed back to nearly four million, and in 2023 the species was downgraded from Critically Endangered to Near Threatened on the IUCN Red List. Scientists, however, warn that climate change and disease still threaten the gains. "The numbers look good," says one researcher, "but one outbreak could undo a decade of work." 2. 二次产出:用赛加羚羊的素材写海报核心段,50–70 词(标题+正文+行动口号)。要求:至少一个事实钉、一条完整行动链。三条标准在心里,不许翻回第一节。 那件反常的事天生是钩子:偷猎者后来成了护林员。写成一句画面,数字紧跟在后——两句连着读,比单独喊一个数字有劲。 ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ THE NOSE THAT NEARLY VANISHED The saiga once numbered over a million; in ten years it fell below 50,000, poached for its horn. Today it stands at nearly four million again — protected by rangers, but one disease away from collapse. Former poachers now walk the steppe as guards. This weekend, give one hour: join the campus wildlife week, sign the pledge at the gate, and tell one friend why the saiga came back. 六、并排看一眼,然后收束 1. 并排:把初稿的行动链和改后的行动链抄进下表,只看这一个变量,其他栏目不设。改后那行从第五节的格子里原样搬过来,别凭记忆重写。 改前的行动链 改后的行动链 并排这一眼比十句讲解管用:改前那行通常短、抽象、没有主语;改后那行长一点,有主语、有时间。变量只有一个——所以改稿别贪,一处见效,处处才有信心。把看到的差异用一句话写在表下:我的两行差在________。 抄完把两行读出声。听一件事:哪一行更像一张贴在墙上的通知。 能说出"补了时间词"的人,下一张海报才会主动想到时间词。 动笔前看这三行——考前最后看的也是它。用法:盖住右边两列,只看检查信号,能把"判什么"和"反例"各说成一句,才算带上路了: 检查信号 判什么 反例 有数字或可查事实吗 事实钉 increased a lot(虚) 读者知道谁做什么吗 行动链 We should act now(口号) 有一个画面或一句 you 吗 情感钩 通篇第三人称,零画面 三样东西在 60–80 词里的分法:标题 4–6 词扛钩,正文 45–70 词放钉和链,口号 3–6 词收尾。数字写进正文第一句,动词写进最后一句——两头立住,中间那句就好办。 最后收成一句话:海报不喊"保护",海报说"今晚十点后关灯"。口号不发生,行动链才发生。 七、课后巩固:整张海报成稿 1. 成稿任务(课后 30 分钟):自选一种濒危动物,完成整张海报文字稿——标题+正文 80 词左右+行动口号一句。硬规定一条:不许用红海龟和赛加羚羊,那两份是课堂料,再用就是默写,不是产出。写完和同桌交换互评。 搭梯子,不绑路径。下面五种动物数字好找、故事性强,拿不准选题的从中挑;要自选也行,前提是至少查得到一个真数字,能在一句话里写清出处。 候选动物 好用的那一类事实 去哪查 大熊猫 Giant panda 野生种群数量、自然保护区个数 国家林草局官网 / WWF 物种页 东北虎 Amur tiger 中俄边境监测到的个体数、栖息地范围 IUCN Red List / WWF 物种页 长江江豚 Yangtze finless porpoise 全流域科考普查数量(近年有公开数据) 农业农村部长江办 / 中科院水生所 非洲象 African elephant 象牙贸易禁令年份、盗猎下降幅度 IUCN Red List / CITES 官网 山地大猩猩 Mountain gorilla 近年全群普查数量 IUCN Red List / WWF 物种页 查不到数字就换动物。"很多""越来越少"这类虚词顶上去,读者读完一句也记不住。 选题时给自己立条规矩:选你能说出至少一个真实数字或一件真实事件的动物。说不上来的,先花五分钟查,再动笔——来源栏空着的那一句,读者第一眼就会疑。 一个词数预警:正文超过 100 词,说明又写回说明书了。 海报的字被三秒钟限制,不被表达欲决定。写超了,删到 80 词以内再交。 ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ 交稿前过三问:标题能不能让人停下?正文第一句有没有数字?最后一句是不是一个动作?三问都过,再誊清。 完成情况自记:花了____分钟;我用的动物是______;事实钉出处(机构名,或段落首句)______。 2. 病稿改写:下面这份海报差一颗钉,只准加一句,不许改别的。 OUR RIVERS ARE DYING Fish are disappearing from our rivers. This is very sad. We should do something about it. Join us this Saturday. 改后(只写你加的那一句): ________________________ 3. 阅读下面短文,从每题所给的 A、B、C、D 四个选项中选出最佳选项。 Under the clear water off the coast of Wales lies a meadow that few visitors ever see. Seagrass, a flowering plant that grows in shallow seas, stores carbon thirty-five times faster than rainforest and gives shelter to young fish. Over the past century, the UK has lost up to 92 per cent of its seagrass, damaged by pollution and careless anchoring. Since 2021, a team of volunteers has been replanting seagrass seeds by hand. The work is slow: divers fill small bags with sand and seeds and press them into the seabed, square metre by square metre. The results, however, are encouraging: in the restored areas the water is clearer, and researchers have counted twice as many fish species as before. The team also asks local boat owners to use special moorings that do not drag along the seabed. "We did not lose these meadows in a year, and we will not bring them back in a year," says one of the project leaders. "But every bag of seeds is a small promise to the sea." (1) What does the author say about seagrass? A. It grows on land as well as in the sea. B. It stores carbon far faster than rainforest. C. It feeds on young fish. D. It covers most of the UK coast. (2) What has happened to UK seagrass over the past century? A. It has been replanted by hand. B. It has doubled in area. C. Up to 92 per cent of it has been lost. D. It has moved into deeper water. (3) Why does the team ask boat owners to use special moorings? A. To keep the water clear for divers. B. To attract more fish species. C. To save the cost of fuel. D. To stop anchors from dragging along the seabed. (4) What can be learned from the project leader's words? A. Recovery is slow, but every small step counts. B. The loss of seagrass cannot be reversed. C. Volunteers should work faster. D. The sea will repair itself in time. 4. 表达回填:用今天素材里的五个表达各写一句自己的海报句,句子要能贴出去。 (1) number (v.) ____ (2) fall to ____ (3) hold ____ (4) be banned ____ (5) without a single ____ 互评单(附在稿后): 检查项 达标 / 未达标 依据(抄对方一句) 事实钉:有数字或可查事实 行动链:谁+做什么+怎么做 情感钩:一个画面或一句 you 学科网(北京)股份有限公司 $ 2026-2027学年 高一 上册 英语 人教版-新教材  必修第二册 第26讲 倡议海报写作 · Unit 2 Wildlife Protection 同步课·写作产出-任务式|120分钟(2课时连排) 把口号板写成行动令 (教师版) 课时:第一课时写第一稿;第二课时诊断、只改一处、换一种动物再写一稿;课后 30 分钟独立成稿。 学习目标: 目标 1 事实钉:一个具体数字或可查证的事实,说得出出处。 目标 2 行动链写全:谁、做什么、什么时候、怎么做。 目标 3 拿三条标准判一份初稿,只改一处,交出第二稿。 核心点:三要素成形|附带覆盖:数字的出处、动词的实与虚、海报的词数控制。 一、今天要交的东西 学校"野生动物保护周"下月开幕,教学楼布告栏留出一整面墙给英文海报。为一种濒危动物写一张海报的文字稿:标题一行、正文 60–80 词、行动口号一行。字交上去,画交给美术组。 标准在前,句子才有靶子。 维度 达标的样子 不达标的样子 事实钉 至少 1 个具体数字或可查证事实,说得出出处 只有 many、a lot of 这类虚词 行动链 读者知道谁、做什么、什么时候怎么做 只有 We should protect… 的口号 情感钩 一个画面,或一句第二人称,让人停下 平铺直叙,或全靠感叹号 三条的排序就是重要性的排序。多数初稿死在第二条:口号那一句喊得再响,路人走过去,还是不知道该做什么。 落笔前替读者想三句,答案写在稿纸页眉上,写正文时抬头能看见: 读者是谁?______ 他关心什么?______ 他凭什么在这张纸前停下来?______(每空写一个短句,不超过八个词) 布告栏前站着的是赶课间的同年级同学,脑子里是午饭和月考,不是野生动物。你的海报要从他手里抢三秒钟——抢的就是第一句。 60–80 词的限制由此而来:三秒钟读不完的海报,写得再好也白写。 二、三份料,各取一样 写海报最怕两手空空坐下来憋。下面三份料,一份给事实,一份给链条,一份留到第五节才发。每份只取一样东西,不整段抄,只摘词句。 素材① 高原上的一种羊(约 125 词) 先通读,不查词。读完只做一件事:圈出三个能查的数字。 The Tibetan antelope once numbered about one million. By the early 1990s the herd had fallen to between 65,000 and 72,000. Hunters were after a fine underwool, woven into shahtoosh shawls: three to five antelopes died for a single shawl. Protection began with land. Two reserves, Changtang and Selin Co, now hold more than 70 percent of the animals, and patrol teams follow the poachers across the plateau. In the calving season, traffic on the highway and the railway is held back and horns are banned while the herds cross. The count tells the result. By 2021 the population had climbed to about 300,000, and Kekexili had gone eleven years without a single recorded poaching case. 1. 圈数字:从上面三段里圈出三个数字,每个后面写清它管什么(种群/年份/比例/年数),再写一句它出自哪一段——抄该段首句即可。 【答案】参考:① 65,000 与 72,000——1990 年代初的种群数(出自段首句 "The Tibetan antelope once numbered about one million");② 3 到 5——做一条披肩要死的羊(同段);③ 70%——羌塘与色林错两个保护区保存的种群比例(段首句 "Protection began with land");④ 300,000——2021 年的种群数(段首句 "The count tells the result");⑤ 11——可可西里连续无盗猎年数(同段)。任取三个即达标。 【解析】数字要小、要硬、要能查。一百万、三十万是结论,写海报时放一个足够;三到五条命换一条披肩,这个比例才是让人停下来的那一个。圈的时候问一句:这个数字敢不敢让路人拿去搜?搜得到的留下,搜不到的是编的。 词汇挂钩:这一段里能整块搬上海报的表达。 表达 形态变化 放进句子的样子 number number—numbered—numbered(动词) The herd once numbered about one million. fall to fall—fell—fallen The herd fell to 72,000 by the early 1990s. hold hold—held—held Two reserves hold over 70 percent of the animals. be banned ban—banned—banned Horns are banned while the herds cross. without a single… 后接名词 Eleven years without a single recorded case. 选词填空:从上面五条里选四个填进句子,动词按语境变形。 (1) The herd once ____ about one million, then ____ to 72,000 in two decades. (2) Two reserves now ____ more than 70 percent of the animals. (3) In the calving season, horns ____ while the herds cross the highway. 【答案】(1) numbered;fell (2) hold (3) are banned 【解析】三句考的是同一件事:动词的形态跟着时间走。numbered 与 fell 一前一后,全靠动词形态把三十年压进一句话——海报正文的一条事实钉,往往就是这么压出来的。 素材② 海滩上的灯(222 词) 读法说清:一遍通读,生词不查——猜,猜不出跳过。海报要的不是每个词,是那条链。读完做第 2 题。 Every summer, loggerhead turtles return to the same beaches where they were born to lay their eggs. Yet fewer and fewer baby turtles survive their first journey from sand to sea. Bright lights from hotels and streets confuse them: instead of following the moonlight on the waves, they crawl inland and die of exhaustion. To deal with the problem, coastal towns have passed new rules. Beachfront lights must be turned off or covered after ten at night, heavy machines are kept away from nesting areas, and volunteers watch over the nests night after night. Signs along the beach remind visitors of the harm a single footstep can do to a nest hidden under the sand. These measures resulted in a slow but real recovery: on beaches monitored by the state wildlife agency, the number of nests has risen for five years in a row. Scientists warn, however, that the species remains in danger. Recovery from a hundred years of damage will not come quickly — a loggerhead needs over twenty years to grow old enough to lay eggs of its own. The lesson is the same as it is for every wild species. We did not break the beach in a day, and we will not repair it in a day. But every dark night is a gift, because it lets the baby turtles find their way home. 2. 链条表:这篇说明文藏着一条"问题—原因—措施—结果"的链。四格各填一条,每格不超过 8 个词,词从文中取。 链节 文中取词(≤8 词) 问题 原因 措施 结果 【答案】问题:fewer baby turtles survive their first journey;原因:bright lights confuse them(小海龟弃月光、爬向内陆);措施:lights off or covered after ten/machines kept away/volunteers watch nests;结果:nests have risen for five years in a row。 【解析】这条链就是海报正文的骨架:问题与原因合起来是事实钉,措施就是行动链的现成毛坯。盯住结果句里的 five years in a row——五年连升,慢,但真;它比一个 great success 可信一百倍。文中还有第二个数字:红海龟要 twenty years 才长到能产卵。写给游客的海报用 five years(见效快,值得配合);写给议员的倡议书才用 twenty years(周期长,立法要趁早)。同一条链,受众不同,取的钉也不同。 【提示】链条表先别急着对答案,到第四节和三份稿子对照时再对照——现在讲透,第四节就没有悬念了。 三、先写一稿:15 分钟 词库放在这里,防词穷。两栏用法不同,别混着拿:左栏整块搬走就能用;右栏必须跟着主语和时态改形态——原形照搬,一眼能看出来。 功能 可直接整块套用 须按语境变形 事实钉 on the brink of / endangered species / more than 70 percent fall by half → fell to 72,000 行动链 join… / volunteer at… / give one hour be taken off the list → was taken off the list 情感钩 imagine… / every dark night / a path home find one's way home → find their way home 一条高频错:endanger 是及物动词,"使…濒危"——Human activity endangers the species;endangered 是形容词,"濒危的"——The species is endangered。不能写 It is endanger:那个位置缺的是形容词。要动词就用 Human activity endangers the species,要形容词就用 The species is endangered,也可以换成 The species is on the brink of collapse。 动笔前 60 秒热身,先把"行动链"这个词焐热。把下面这句口号改下去,嘴上说完就行,不落纸: We should save water. 骨架照搬:谁(一间宿舍)+做什么(缩短淋浴)+怎么做(手机闹钟定五分钟)。改完跟邻座的两句并排比一比:谁的更像一件真会发生的事? 下面 15 分钟里的所有修改,走的都是这个路子。 先改一句,再写全篇。三句病句,挑一句改,改完对照下面那份: (1) We should protect the animals. (2) The animals are in danger. (3) We must take action now. 改法示范(改第 1 句):Join the beach clean-up this Saturday morning, and bring one friend. 这一步做了什么:主语换成 you,动作换成 join,时间落到 this Saturday morning——三处填满,口号就变成一件真能去做的事。 【答案】第 2 句可改成:Two reserves hold over 70 percent of the animals, yet poachers still cross the plateau.(补一颗事实钉);第 3 句可改成:Sign the petition at the school gate before Friday.(补时间与地点)。 【解析】三句都缺同样的东西:没有谁做、没有做什么、没有什么时候。改完对照一眼——句子长了不到一半,能做的事多了一件。 计时 15 分钟。静默段:不答疑、不提示——行不行,第四节拿三条标准自己判。写高原上那种羊,也可以自选一种查得到资料的濒危动物。时间这样切:前 5 分钟不动笔,把料里的钉和链圈出来;中间 8 分钟一口气写完;最后 2 分钟对照三条标准,只看,不改。 初稿写在这里: ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ (全部卡住→只写三行:一个数字、一个原因、一个动作,写完再补标题。) 四、三份稿子,三种病 三份稿子摆在下面,三种典型病。诊断走三步:先通读一遍,不下判;再对三条标准逐条打勾打叉;最后每份写一句总评,只许一句——能一句话说清病在哪,才算真看懂。 初稿甲(口号型): SAVE THE ANIMALS! Animals are our good friends. They are beautiful and important. We should protect them. Protect wildlife, protect our future! Let us act now! 初稿乙(有行动、无事实): LIGHTS OFF FOR TURTLES Please turn off every light you bring to the beach at night. Keep off the sand dunes. Join our beach walk this Friday. Baby turtles need a dark beach. 初稿丙(合格稿): AFTER 10 P.M., THIS BEACH IS THEIRS Bright hotel lights pull baby turtles inland, away from the sea they were born for. On beaches that went dark, nests have risen for five years in a row. One lamp is enough to send a whole nest the wrong way. Tonight, before you step onto the sand, switch off every light you brought, walk round the dunes, and let them find the sea by moonlight. Dark beaches, living turtles. 1. 诊断表:三条标准逐条判,达标打勾,不达标打叉。 维度 初稿甲 初稿乙 初稿丙 事实钉 行动链 情感钩 2. 哪一份合格?它赢在哪一条?用一句话回答,句子里必须出现标准里的词。 ________________________ 【答案】题 1:甲——事实钉叉、行动链叉(act now 没有任何内容)、情感钩叉(只有感叹号,没有画面);乙——事实钉叉、行动链勾(turn off、keep off、join 都具体可执行)、情感钩半;丙——三条全勾。题 2:丙合格,赢在事实钉与行动链同时成立——five years in a row 是钉,switch off every light you brought 是链。 【解析】乙是最容易误判的一份:读起来很实在,却没有一个可查证的事实,读者没有理由相信乌龟需要黑沙滩——need 是断言,不是证据。甲是最常见的初稿形态:通篇态度和感叹号。丙的正文几乎全从素材②拆出来。好海报不是憋出来的,是从语料里拆出来的。 逐份说这三份稿子怎么看。 甲的毛病不在英语,在"没发生":全文没有一个名词落到地上。它假设读者已经同意,只差被煽动——布告栏前的路人没有这个义务。friends、beautiful、important,三个词换掉一个都成立;换成 pandas、eagles,全文不用改一个字。能随便换主语的呼吁,等于没有呼吁。 乙像一个热心的组织者写的,三个动作都具体。可它缺一颗钉:凭什么乌龟需要黑沙滩?读者心里那句"真的吗"没人接住。有链无钉,行动悬空——多数人会善意地点头,然后打开手电筒继续走。 丙把素材②拆成了海报:正文 64 词,一个数字、一句归因、一条动作链,再没别的。 看它的克制。三个事实在第一句之前就被砍到只剩一个,剩下的字数全给了行动。克制本身就是说服力——海报上每一条信息都在抢路人的三秒钟。 三份放在一起,病根是同一个:都把作者自己的感受当成了读者的需要。甲以为读者要被感动,乙以为读者要被使唤,只有丙先回答读者心里的三问——真的吗?读者凭什么信?然后呢?三条标准,就是这三问换成的三种问句。 三句话记住它:让人停下(钩),让人相信(钉),让人动起来(链)。顺序不能反——先停,再信,最后才动。 判过甲乙丙,这三句才有着落;没判过,它只是三个要背的名词。 (一)事实钉:小、硬、可查 先看素材②里的两句: "Bright lights from hotels and streets confuse them." "…the number of nests has risen for five years in a row." 两句的共同点:一句给原因,一句给结果;都没有形容词;都让人没法反驳。 规律收束:事实钉=具体数字或可查证事实+说得出出处。它的对立面不是"错话",是"虚话"——many、a lot of、more and more 放在海报上,等于什么都没说。 虚与实并排看一对,差异只有一个词组: 虚:The antelope population dropped a lot. 实:The herd fell from 72,000 in the early 1990s to about 300,000 by 2021. 换掉的三个词改变了什么?a lot 谁都无法反驳,也因此毫无意义;72,000、300,000、2021 给了起点、终点和时间,读者可以质疑,也可以查。能被查证的话,才值得被相信。 再往下问一层:数字什么时候不算钉? 反例:The population has reached 300,000. 这句话有数字,却没有基准——跟哪一年比?三年前是这个数,这句话等于没说。 仅当一个数字说得清起点与终点时,它才是钉;孤零零的一个数只是背景。上面那句改成 from 72,000 to 300,000 by 2021,钉才立住。 【提示】事实钉这条守得最严:宁可少一个形容词,不可少一个出处。往下走之前抽两个人念自己写的来源栏——那一栏空着的,后面所有漂亮句子都白写。 素材里一个数字都没有,怎么办? 退一步,用可查证事实代替——地名、机构名、具体时间点都算。Kazakhstan set up ranger patrols 一个数字没给,但谁、在哪、做了什么全都可查,照样是钉。查不到的"事实",写得再具体也是空话。 数字必须指得出处,三选一:段落首句、机构名(国家林草局、IUCN、WWF)、语篇行号。说不出处的数字,读者默认是编的——这条不能商量。 判三句,哪一句是钉,哪一句只是背景: (1) The population reached 300,000. (2) The herd fell from 72,000 to about 300,000 by 2021. (3) Many antelopes died for their wool. ________________________ 【答案】(1) 背景:只有一个数,没有起点也没有时间;(2) 钉:起点、终点、时间三样齐;(3) 虚话:many 谁都能说,查无可查。 【解析】三句并排,差别只在有没有"跟什么比"。(1) 与 (2) 是同一个数字,一个悬空、一个落地——手里只有一个数,就去把它前面那一年找出来。 最后确认一步:把下面这句里的事实删掉,看海报塌不塌。 原稿:On beaches that went dark, nests have risen for five years in a row. 删掉 five years in a row,句子只剩一句空话,海报当场塌掉——这就是钉。删了照样读得通的,那句本来就不是钉,换成真的。 (二)行动链:谁+做什么+什么时候怎么做 反例先摆出来: "We should protect wildlife." 这句的毛病不在语法,在它不发生——没有人、没有动作、没有做法。读的人点个头,走了。 对错双例并排,差异自己圈: 错例(初稿甲的尾巴):"Let us act now!" 正例(初稿丙的尾巴):"Tonight, before you step onto the sand, switch off every light you brought, walk round the dunes, and let them find the sea by moonlight." 正例多了什么?时间(Tonight)、对象(before you step onto the sand)、动作(switch off、walk round)、做法(let them find the sea by moonlight)。 看到"should+抽象名词",判口号;看到"时间或对象+具体动作",判行动链。写完自问三句:谁做?做什么?什么时候、怎么做?三句都答得出,链才闭合。 行动链的命门在动词。protect、save、act 是三个假动作——听着大,没法做;turn off、join、stop buying、give one hour 才是真动作——闭上眼能看见一个人在动。写完圈出链里的动词,看不见画面的,换掉。 再回素材①看一条措施句:In the calving season, traffic on the highway and the railway is held back and horns are banned while the herds cross. 这一句的主语不是"我们",是交通和喇叭。海报写给机构,动作的主语就该是机构——把 We 换成 The city,句子才有人接。 例外留一个口:海报写给决策者(比如写给市长),行动链的对象要换成"他",句子跟着变——写成 We ask the city to…。人是具体的,动作才落得了地,这一条两边通用。 链写几句?一到两句。三张动作清单并排的海报,读完的人还没见过。 纸上判两句,判完再看下面的对照: (1) We must take action to help the turtles!   (2) Ask your hotel to cover its beachfront lights after ten. ________________________ 【答案】(1) 判口号:should 系+抽象名词,没有动作主体;(2) 判行动链:有对象(your hotel)、有动作(cover)、有时间(after ten),动词闭眼能看见画面。 【解析】两句的差距不在长短,在动词能不能被看见。(1) 里的 take action 和 help 都是假动作——换成 pandas、elephants 都不用改一个词,等于没写。(2) 只多了 your hotel 和 after ten,行动就有了承担的人和发生的时间。初稿甲走到初稿丙,跨的就是这一步。 (三)情感钩:一个就够 还是素材②。结尾那句 "But every dark night is a gift, because it lets the baby turtles find their way home."——没有数字,没有指令,却给了一个画面:黑暗的沙滩,小海龟爬向海。这个画面就是钩。 钩只有两种可靠形态:一个画面(让读者看见),或一句第二人称(让读者在场),比如 "Imagine you are the only light on that beach." 一句就够。 反面先钉死,免得把呐喊当钩子: "Imagine thousands of turtles dying every night!!!" 三个惊叹号,零事实,读者只听见有人在喊。这一句给的是音量,不是画面——呐喊不需要人回应,画面才让人停下。 落到动手层:钩子只有两个写法——挑一件事写成画面,或把读者写进句子里说"你"。选不定就按这个顺序试,先写画面,画面写不出再改用"你"。 钩子多了是灾难:一张海报一个钩,位置通常在标题或末句。 中间塞钩子会冲断事实钉。多数好海报的分工是标题扛钩、末句扛链——不必当定律,新手照这个排,出错最少。 判两句,哪一句是钩: (1) Every dark night is a gift to a baby turtle. (2) Turtles are very important to our environment. ________________________ 【答案】(1) 是钩:黑夜里有一只正在爬的小东西,读者眼前有画面;(2) 不是钩:important 是评价,读完眼前什么都没有。 【解析】两句都在说乌龟要紧,一句让人看见,一句让人点头。海报要的是让人停下,点头的人已经走过去了。把 (2) 改成 (1) 只要一步:换掉 important 那个评价词,补一个黑夜里正在爬的小东西。 三要素怎么装进 60–80 词?给个大致配额:标题 ≤6 词,扛情感钩;正文第一句钉事实,第二句给原因或结果;末句完整行动链;口号单独一行,是全海报最后读到的那个动作。初稿丙就是这个排布:标题 5 词、正文 3 句、口号 3 词——回头看一眼,严丝合缝。 最后把三种典型错误收成一张表,每条配正反例各一句。这张表和第六节的速查表配对用: 易错点 正例 反例 口号当行动 Turn off beach lights after 10 p.m. We should protect wildlife. 数字无出处 Nests rose for five years in a row (field reports). The number increased a lot. 钩子盖过事实 标题一个画面,正文一个数字 三个感叹句,零事实 五、只改一个点,然后换一种动物 回到自己的初稿。规则只有一条:只改行动链那一句,别的不动。改三个点等于没改——这是全课最反直觉、也最要紧的一条纪律。事实钉不牢?情感钩没有?都留着,后面有的是机会。 1. 自评+重写:先填三个空格——我的行动链:谁____;做什么____;什么时候怎么做____。哪格答不出,就改哪格。 改写后的行动链(完整一句,标点照写): ________________________ ________________________ 这一句是第六节并排表"改后"那一栏的来处,写完别揉——下课前还要原样抄进表。 【提示】这五分钟只看一件事:谁在改事实钉。今天不许改,忍住,先把链闭上。 【答案】无统一答案(各人初稿不同)。评阅要点:改后的行动链三问都答得出——谁、做什么、什么时候怎么做;核心动词是闭眼能看见画面的真动作(turn off、join),不是 protect、act 这类假动作。 【解析】一次改一处,改完能立刻看见这一处的收益。同时改三处,改对了也说不清是哪处的功劳,下一张海报照样不会写——改作文的力气有限,摊薄了等于没花。 改的时候容易走偏。三种走偏的样子摆在这里,自己对号: (1) 加副词:We should protect the endangered animals more actively. (2) 换主语:Students must pay attention to wildlife. (3) 补动作:Hand in one photo of a wild bird at the school gate by Friday. 【答案】(3) 对。判断标准只有一条:闭上眼能不能看见一个人在动。 【解析】(1) 与 (2) 都在原地打转:副词和主语都解决不了"没动作"这件事。(3) 多了三样——hand in、at the school gate、by Friday。任何一样缺了,读者都能找到不做的理由。 改完把笔放下,换一份料:赛加羚羊,一种多数人没听过的动物(215 词)。 读的时候手里拿笔:圈三个数字,再圈一件反常的事——偷猎者后来当上了护林员。读完做题 2。 In the 1990s, the saiga antelope of Central Asia suffered one of the fastest population crashes ever recorded. Once numbering over one million, the species collapsed to fewer than 50,000 in barely a decade. The main threat was not habitat loss but uncontrolled hunting: after the collapse of the Soviet Union, unemployed local people turned to poaching the antelope for its meat and its horn, which was sold illegally abroad. Conservationists acted quickly. Kazakhstan and Russia placed the saiga under strict national protection, set up ranger patrols, and worked with local communities to create alternative incomes. Education programmes in village schools taught children why the animal mattered, and former poachers were hired as wildlife guards. Yet the road to recovery remained uncertain. In 2015, a mysterious bacterial disease swept through several herds and killed more than 200,000 saigas in a matter of weeks — a harsh reminder that even protected species remain fragile. By 2025, the saiga population had climbed back to nearly four million, and in 2023 the species was downgraded from Critically Endangered to Near Threatened on the IUCN Red List. Scientists, however, warn that climate change and disease still threaten the gains. "The numbers look good," says one researcher, "but one outbreak could undo a decade of work." 2. 二次产出:用赛加羚羊的素材写海报核心段,50–70 词(标题+正文+行动口号)。要求:至少一个事实钉、一条完整行动链。三条标准在心里,不许翻回第一节。 那件反常的事天生是钩子:偷猎者后来成了护林员。写成一句画面,数字紧跟在后——两句连着读,比单独喊一个数字有劲。 ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ 【答案】参考成稿(仅作对照,不是唯一答案): THE NOSE THAT NEARLY VANISHED The saiga once numbered over a million; in ten years it fell below 50,000, poached for its horn. Today it stands at nearly four million again — protected by rangers, but one disease away from collapse. Former poachers now walk the steppe as guards. This weekend, give one hour: join the campus wildlife week, sign the pledge at the gate, and tell one friend why the saiga came back. 【解析】这份参考稿正文 66 词,每句都能在语篇里找到出处:两个数字分别来自 Once numbering over one million 与 By 2025, the saiga population had climbed back to nearly four million;poached for its horn 来自 poaching the antelope for its meat and its horn;rangers 来自 set up ranger patrols;one disease away from collapse 来自 one outbreak could undo a decade of work。二次产出的意义在换料不换法——动物换了,三要素一个不换。稿子里数字超过两个,老毛病就回来了:又把海报写成了说明书。 六、并排看一眼,然后收束 1. 并排:把初稿的行动链和改后的行动链抄进下表,只看这一个变量,其他栏目不设。改后那行从第五节的格子里原样搬过来,别凭记忆重写。 改前的行动链 改后的行动链 并排这一眼比十句讲解管用:改前那行通常短、抽象、没有主语;改后那行长一点,有主语、有时间。变量只有一个——所以改稿别贪,一处见效,处处才有信心。把看到的差异用一句话写在表下:我的两行差在________。 抄完把两行读出声。听一件事:哪一行更像一张贴在墙上的通知。 【答案】无统一答案。评阅要点:差异句必须指向具体变量——主语出现没有、时间出现没有、动词是不是真动作;写"改后更好了"这类空话的,退回重写。 【解析】并排的目的不是欣赏进步,是把"有效修改"从感觉变成可命名的动作。 能说出"补了时间词"的人,下一张海报才会主动想到时间词。 动笔前看这三行——考前最后看的也是它。用法:盖住右边两列,只看检查信号,能把"判什么"和"反例"各说成一句,才算带上路了: 检查信号 判什么 反例 有数字或可查事实吗 事实钉 increased a lot(虚) 读者知道谁做什么吗 行动链 We should act now(口号) 有一个画面或一句 you 吗 情感钩 通篇第三人称,零画面 三样东西在 60–80 词里的分法:标题 4–6 词扛钩,正文 45–70 词放钉和链,口号 3–6 词收尾。数字写进正文第一句,动词写进最后一句——两头立住,中间那句就好办。 最后收成一句话:海报不喊"保护",海报说"今晚十点后关灯"。口号不发生,行动链才发生。 七、课后巩固:整张海报成稿 1. 成稿任务(课后 30 分钟):自选一种濒危动物,完成整张海报文字稿——标题+正文 80 词左右+行动口号一句。硬规定一条:不许用红海龟和赛加羚羊,那两份是课堂料,再用就是默写,不是产出。写完和同桌交换互评。 搭梯子,不绑路径。下面五种动物数字好找、故事性强,拿不准选题的从中挑;要自选也行,前提是至少查得到一个真数字,能在一句话里写清出处。 候选动物 好用的那一类事实 去哪查 大熊猫 Giant panda 野生种群数量、自然保护区个数 国家林草局官网 / WWF 物种页 东北虎 Amur tiger 中俄边境监测到的个体数、栖息地范围 IUCN Red List / WWF 物种页 长江江豚 Yangtze finless porpoise 全流域科考普查数量(近年有公开数据) 农业农村部长江办 / 中科院水生所 非洲象 African elephant 象牙贸易禁令年份、盗猎下降幅度 IUCN Red List / CITES 官网 山地大猩猩 Mountain gorilla 近年全群普查数量 IUCN Red List / WWF 物种页 查不到数字就换动物。"很多""越来越少"这类虚词顶上去,读者读完一句也记不住。 选题时给自己立条规矩:选你能说出至少一个真实数字或一件真实事件的动物。说不上来的,先花五分钟查,再动笔——来源栏空着的那一句,读者第一眼就会疑。 一个词数预警:正文超过 100 词,说明又写回说明书了。 海报的字被三秒钟限制,不被表达欲决定。写超了,删到 80 词以内再交。 ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ 交稿前过三问:标题能不能让人停下?正文第一句有没有数字?最后一句是不是一个动作?三问都过,再誊清。 完成情况自记:花了____分钟;我用的动物是______;事实钉出处(机构名,或段落首句)______。 2. 病稿改写:下面这份海报差一颗钉,只准加一句,不许改别的。 OUR RIVERS ARE DYING Fish are disappearing from our rivers. This is very sad. We should do something about it. Join us this Saturday. 改后(只写你加的那一句): ________________________ 【答案】参考:In the Yangtze, the number of finless porpoises fell to about 1,000 in 2017.(或任何带出处、带基准的数字事实;来源写在括号里即可。) 【解析】原稿五句全是态度,读者读完不知道河到什么程度。补一句带基准的数字,第二句的 very sad 立刻有了落点。补完回头看:全文只多了十几个词,说服力却翻了一倍——这就是事实钉的性价比。 3. 阅读下面短文,从每题所给的 A、B、C、D 四个选项中选出最佳选项。 Under the clear water off the coast of Wales lies a meadow that few visitors ever see. Seagrass, a flowering plant that grows in shallow seas, stores carbon thirty-five times faster than rainforest and gives shelter to young fish. Over the past century, the UK has lost up to 92 per cent of its seagrass, damaged by pollution and careless anchoring. Since 2021, a team of volunteers has been replanting seagrass seeds by hand. The work is slow: divers fill small bags with sand and seeds and press them into the seabed, square metre by square metre. The results, however, are encouraging: in the restored areas the water is clearer, and researchers have counted twice as many fish species as before. The team also asks local boat owners to use special moorings that do not drag along the seabed. "We did not lose these meadows in a year, and we will not bring them back in a year," says one of the project leaders. "But every bag of seeds is a small promise to the sea." (1) What does the author say about seagrass? A. It grows on land as well as in the sea. B. It stores carbon far faster than rainforest. C. It feeds on young fish. D. It covers most of the UK coast. (2) What has happened to UK seagrass over the past century? A. It has been replanted by hand. B. It has doubled in area. C. Up to 92 per cent of it has been lost. D. It has moved into deeper water. (3) Why does the team ask boat owners to use special moorings? A. To keep the water clear for divers. B. To attract more fish species. C. To save the cost of fuel. D. To stop anchors from dragging along the seabed. (4) What can be learned from the project leader's words? A. Recovery is slow, but every small step counts. B. The loss of seagrass cannot be reversed. C. Volunteers should work faster. D. The sea will repair itself in time. 【答案】(1) B (2) C (3) D (4) A 【解析】(1) 原文三十五次(thirty-five times)说的是储碳速度,比的是热带雨林;选项 A 把"长在海里"改成"也长在陆上",C 把"给幼鱼提供庇护"换成"以幼鱼为食",都是就地偷换。(2) 92 per cent 出现在 lost 之后,方向是丢,不是增;B 的 doubled 与数字相反。(3) 题干问的是 moorings 的用途,原文紧跟的定语是 that do not drag along the seabed——四选项里只有 D 接住了这个定语。(4) 项目负责人的两句话一个说慢、一个说每一袋种子都算数,合起来正是 A;B、D 把"慢"读成了"不可能"和"不用管"。 4. 表达回填:用今天素材里的五个表达各写一句自己的海报句,句子要能贴出去。 (1) number (v.) ____ (2) fall to ____ (3) hold ____ (4) be banned ____ (5) without a single ____ 【答案】示例:(1) The wetland once numbered over 3,000 birds. (2) The count fell to 400 in ten years. (3) Two reserves hold most of the nests. (4) Fireworks are banned near the lake. (5) The lake has gone three years without a single illegal net. 【解析】五句都要带一个可查的落点:地名、年份、数量。写不出落点的,回来补——落点就是事实钉的位置。 互评单(附在稿后): 检查项 达标 / 未达标 依据(抄对方一句) 事实钉:有数字或可查事实 行动链:谁+做什么+怎么做 情感钩:一个画面或一句 you 【答案】成稿按三条标准批改:事实钉 2 分(有数字或可查证事实且有出处)、行动链 4 分(谁/做什么/怎么做,三缺一则减半)、情感钩 2 分、语言规范 2 分。参考成稿附在本页末——先互评,再看标准稿。 【解析】互评单三行就是课上的三条标准,一条不多。评别人的时候还在练诊断——这是这三条标准的第三次调用:初稿诊断、自我修改、同伴互评,一次比一次独立。 学科网(北京)股份有限公司 $

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【周周有招】新教材同步尖子班讲义第26讲Unit 2 Wildlife Protection(倡议海报写作·三要素成稿法)-2026-2027学年高中英语人教版必修第二册(教师版+学生版)
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【周周有招】新教材同步尖子班讲义第26讲Unit 2 Wildlife Protection(倡议海报写作·三要素成稿法)-2026-2027学年高中英语人教版必修第二册(教师版+学生版)
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【周周有招】新教材同步尖子班讲义第26讲Unit 2 Wildlife Protection(倡议海报写作·三要素成稿法)-2026-2027学年高中英语人教版必修第二册(教师版+学生版)
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