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人教版必修第一册 · 读后续写片段式训练
Unit 4 Natural Disasters自然灾害
片段式阶梯训练(实用版)
本单元以“”Unit 4 Natural Disasters自然灾害为素材,集中呈现灾难描写与重建希望的句式。下面按六步梯推进,把课文里的过去进行时背景、It seemed as if 虚拟、名词+尺寸同位语、like 明喻、With 复合结构转化为读后续写的灾难叙事工具,避免机械堆砌。
适用对象
建议时长
使用方式
配套
高二/高三学生、备课教师
课堂 1 课时 / 自习 30 min
个人自学 · 小组互评 · 课堂讲练
本单元课文 + 动作/环境描写表达库
Step 1 情境感知:先读进去,再学出来
读下面这个小故事(约 100–120 词)。它把本单元 5 个语块“藏”进了一段真实叙事里——先感受它们在故事里“干什么用”,比直接背例句更有效。
Strange things were happening in the quiet countryside — wells rose and fell. Then it seemed as if the world were coming to an end. A huge crack, eight kilometres long and thirty metres wide, cut the town in two. Bricks covered the ground like red autumn leaves. With the army's help and the people's tireless efforts, a new city rose from the ruins.
◆ 读后引导(不做空泛“找句式”,做有意义的两问)
1. 故事怎样用‘背景—震撼—破坏—凄凉—重建’把灾难写活?哪一句最让你有画面感,为什么?
2. 若要写一场暴雨引发的险情,你会优先用本单元哪两个句式铺陈氛围?
Step 2 语块建构·五金库:一个语块 = 一张“功能卡”
下面 5 个语块,每个都按“含义 → 续写功能 → 搭配锦囊 → 易错提醒 → 即时小练”五栏展开。重点不在“背得多”,而在“用得对”——每个语块只标一处最常见错误。
语块 1 过去进行时表背景(Strange things were happening ...) ……正在发生(灾前异象)
课本原句:Strange things were happening in the countryside of northeastern Hebei.
【续写功能】续写灾前异象 / 事发前奏用过去进行时铺陈当时正在发生的诡异,营造不安。
【搭配锦囊】主语 + were / was + V-ing(描述背景中持续的动作)。
⚠ 直击易错(本语块最常踩的坑)
进行体表当时正在,不与一般过去时混淆;
were 与复数主语一致;
常用于开篇氛围。
◆ 即时小练(1 题,题型轮换,不刷量)
1. 填空:A cold wind ______ ______(正吹过)the empty street when she stepped out.
语块 2 It seemed as if ...(虚拟语气,仿佛……) 仿佛……(表主观夸大感受)
课本原句:It seemed as if the world were coming to an end!
【续写功能】续写极端感受用 It seemed as if + 虚拟(were)夸大主观感受,画面震撼。
【搭配锦囊】It seemed as if + 主语 + were / did(虚拟)。
⚠ 直击易错(本语块最常踩的坑)
as if 后表与事实相反用虚拟 were / did;
seemed 过去式;
were 不随主语变 was(正式虚拟)。
◆ 即时小练(1 题,题型轮换,不刷量)
2. 翻译:那一刻,仿佛时间倒流了。______________________
语块 3 名词 + 长修饰(A huge crack, eight kilometres long and 30 metres wide, cut across ...) 一道……长……宽的大裂痕横切……
课本原句:A huge crack, eight kilometres long and 30 metres wide, cut across houses, roads, and waterways.
【续写功能】续写灾难破坏用名词+尺寸同位语让破坏具象可感,比直说 big 更有力。
【搭配锦囊】A + 名词, 数词 + 单位 + long / wide, + 谓语。
⚠ 直击易错(本语块最常踩的坑)
插入语用逗号隔开;
long/wide 前无 very;
cut across 为固定短语。
◆ 即时小练(1 题,题型轮换,不刷量)
3. 补全:A wall, ______ ______ ______(三米高、一米厚), blocked the road.
语块 4 A ... like B(明喻,Bricks covered the ground like red autumn leaves) ……像……一样(明喻)
课本原句:Bricks covered the ground like red autumn leaves, but no wind could blow them away.
【续写功能】续写景物喻情用 like 把惨状比作寻常物,凄凉感更强。
【搭配锦囊】名词 + 动词 + like + 名词短语。
⚠ 直击易错(本语块最常踩的坑)
like 是介词,后接名词/短语,不接句子;
区别于 as if(接句子/虚拟);
喻体要贴切、可感。
◆ 即时小练(1 题,题型轮换,不刷量)
4. 翻译:孩子们像受惊的鸟一样四散。______________________
语块 5 With + 名词 + 介词短语(With strong support ..., a new Tangshan was built) 在……的支持/努力下
课本原句:With strong support from the government and the tireless efforts of the city's people, a new Tangshan was built upon the earthquake ruins.
【续写功能】续写重建/转机用 With 复合结构交代凭借什么,突出合力。
【搭配锦囊】With + 名词 + 介词短语 / 分词, 主句。
⚠ 直击易错(本语块最常踩的坑)
with 后接名词短语,不是句子;
表凭借用 with,不用 by(by 强调方式);
主句常被动或完成。
◆ 即时小练(1 题,题型轮换,不刷量)
5. 填空:______ the teacher's help, he finished the task on time.(凭借)
🔎 直击重难点:like(介词)与 as if(连词)
like 后接名词/短语,不可接完整句子;
as if 后接句子且常虚拟(were/did);
With 复合结构表伴随/凭借,by 表方式/手段。
Step 3 衔接迁移·语块串烧:把 5 个语块“缝”进一段续写
孤立造句容易,放进连贯段落才见真功夫。读下面这段微续写,用本单元语块补全 5 处空缺——注意前后逻辑与语法形式。
地震前,(1)______________(怪事正在发生):井水起起落落。刹那间,(2)______________(仿佛世界末日来临)。一道巨裂,(3)______________(八公里长三十米宽),横切房屋道路。砖块(4)______________(像秋叶般盖满地面),却无人能拂去。后来,(5)______________(在政府的强力支持与人们的努力下),一座新唐山拔地而起。
提示:① 过去进行时 ② It seemed as if + 虚拟 ③ 名词+尺寸同位语 ④ like 明喻 ⑤ With 复合结构
Step 4 微续写实战(支架式):从“会用语块”到“写出好片段”
顺着 Step 1 的故事情境,完成约 80–100 词的微片段(可另设人物/场景,但须用上本单元 5 个语块)。
不要提笔就写。先借下面的“提纲支架 + 词汇银行”搭好脚手架,再动笔;写完用“评价量表”自评。
◆ ① 提纲支架(每段该干什么、用哪个语块)
段落
写作任务
建议调用的语块
开头 Begin
灾前异象铺垫
过去进行时 / It seemed as if
发展 Develop
破坏实况描写
名词+尺寸同位语 / like 明喻
结尾 End
重建与希望
With 复合结构
◆ ② 词汇银行(从动作 / 环境描写库精选,提升文采)
📚 可直接化用的地道表达
【灾难动态】The ground buckled and swallowed the road in seconds. / Dust rose like a grey tide over the ruins.
【救援细节】Hands dug through rubble, bare and unafraid. / A soldier lifted a child, whispering it would be all right.
【氛围烘托】Silence after the quake was heavier than any noise. / Dawn came, pale and reluctant, over the broken town.
【金句】From ruins, the human spirit rebuilds itself. / Where hope survives, a city can breathe again.
◆ ③ 学生写作区
在此完成 80–100 词的微片段,尽量用上提纲里的 4–5 个语块,并至少借用“词汇银行”中 1 处描写:
◆ ④ 评价量表(自评 / 互评通用)
维度
优秀 4
达标 3
待改进 2
得分
内容完整
三段清晰,异象—破坏—重建完整
基本完整
缺环节
语块运用
准确使用 ≥4 个本单元语块
用对 2–3 个
误用 / 少用
描写生动
有灾难 / 救援 / 氛围细节
略有描写
平铺直叙
衔接自然
逻辑连词 / 过渡自然
基本连贯
跳跃
主题升华
点明“希望 / 重生”立意
略有点题
未升华
🔍 自评 / 互评指引
圈出用到的本单元语块,核对形式:过去进行 were happening、It seemed as if + were 虚拟、尺寸同位语逗号隔开、like 后接名词、With 后接名词短语;
用△标一处最生动的灾难或救援细节,用○标一句点题句;
同伴互评:朗读片段,看是否画面有冲击力、情绪有起伏。
参考答案与解析
◆ Step 1 读后引导(开放式,参考要点)
1. 功能对应:(1) 过去进行 — 异象铺垫;(2) as if 虚拟 — 震撼感受;(3) 尺寸同位语 — 破坏具象;(4) like 明喻 — 凄凉喻情;(5) With 复合 — 重建合力。最适合开篇氛围的是 (1)。
2. 开放作答,能结合暴雨/险情细节谈希望或重生即可。
◆ Step 2 即时小练答案 + 易错提醒
1. was blowing through the empty street when she stepped out.(过去进行时)
2. It seemed as if time had flowed backwards.(as if + 虚拟)
3. three metres high and one metre thick, blocked the road.(尺寸同位语)
4. The children scattered like startled birds.(like + 名词短语)
5. With the teacher's help, he finished the task on time.(With 表凭借)
◆ Step 3 语块串烧补全
(1) strange things were happening (2) it seemed as if the world were coming to an end
(3) eight kilometres long and thirty metres wide (4) covered the ground like red autumn leaves
(5) with the strong support of the government and the people's tireless efforts.
◆ Step 4 微续写范文(≈95 词)+ 亮点标注
Strange things were happening in the quiet countryside — wells rose and fell (过去进行时 · 异象). Then it seemed as if the world were coming to an end (as if 虚拟 · 震撼). A huge crack, eight kilometres long and thirty metres wide, cut the town in two (尺寸同位语 · 破坏). Bricks covered the ground like red autumn leaves (like 明喻 · 凄凉). With the army's help and the people's tireless efforts, a new city rose from the ruins (With 复合 · 重建): from rubble, the human spirit rebuilds itself.
亮点:① 五语块串成异象—震撼—破坏—凄凉—重建;② 细节(井水起落、灰潮、淡 Dawn)有画面;③ 末句金句点题精神重建;④ 过去进行/as if/同位语/like/With 自然。
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