内容正文:
读后续写微技能:找准线索,确定主题
“读”后续“写”,顾名思义,只有“读”得恰到好处,才能“写”得水到渠成。那么,在阅读原文语篇时,应着重关注哪些线索,怎样才能找准线索、确定主题呢?线索的确定离不开语篇中设定的人物。其呈现形式主要包括对人物的动作描写、心理描写、外貌描写、语言描写、外部评价等。
常见的以人物为中心的线索主要有以下几种情况:
1.以人物的动作为线索。某个动作反复出现,每次出现都能推动故事情节的发展,推动人物的心理、情感等的变化,这个动作就可以成为文章的线索。
2.以人物的语言为线索。“口是心的体现”,语言是最能体现人物个性的细节描写之一,语言经常作为文章的线索来推动故事的发展。
3.以人物的神态为线索。神态描写最能体现人物的心情,因此以神态为线索能够直达人心。
4.以人物的身体部位为线索。人物身体任何一个特征鲜明的部位都是这个人物生活历练的结晶:几根白发背后可能是母亲为家庭日夜操劳的“产物”;几条皱纹背后可能是父亲替子女操心的最好见证等。它们背后都会包含着很多故事。以人物的身体部位为线索,围绕主题,串起整个故事。
5.以人物的物品为线索。相对前面只局限从人物本身来提取线索来说,以物品为线索的范围更广,能展现的空间更广。
【试题分析】
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
Kindness
The sound of glass breaking is immediately recognizable: I’d been telling my best friend Missi a story and had spun around in the living room when I heard that sound and froze.
When I looked down at the floor, it was covered with tiny colourful glass. Missi said, “Oh, no, not the vase.”
“Why? What did I do?” My face reddened.
“Abby, that glass vase was one of the few things my grandparents brought when they came to America,” Missi replied nervously. “If you’d broken anything else in the apartment, I would have gladly said I did it. But you’re going to have to tell my mum that it was your mistake, and she’s going to be really mad.”
I was frightened.
We gathered up the pieces. I kept saying that maybe it could be fixed, but Missi said it didn’t look possible. Some of the pieces broke even more as we tried to sweep them up carefully.
Missi said her mum would be home by six. Would her mum shout at me or punish me? Would she tell me I couldn’t stay in their apartment for the weekend? The only thing I could think of to say was “I’m sorry.”
A couple of minutes after six we heard a key turn in the door. Her mum was home.
Right from the start, we could see she was very happy. “Hello! It’s hot today. I want to treat you girls to the Chinese dishes you like. Let’s go!” her mum said. She pointed at the open door.
“But before that, I need to tell you something,” I said.
“We can talk when we arrive at the restaurant,” her mum said.
“No, I need to tell you now. It’s important,” I said. I could feel my voice shaking and tried not to cry.
“What is it, dear?” her mum asked. She closed the door and walked closer to me. Our hands almost touched. I could feel her eyes study me, and she watched me quietly. My heart beat faster. I gathered up my courage and told her the whole story and my wish to fix the vase if possible.
注意: 续写词数应为150个左右。
Paragraph 1:
“I’m sorry,” I apologized to her and began to explain.
Paragraph 2:
Hearing that she disliked it made me feel much better, but actually she was just out of kindness trying to comfort me.
【解读文本】
结合文章“My face reddened.”→“I was frightened.”→“The only thing I could think of to say was ‘I’m sorry.’”→“‘But before that, I need to tell you something,’ I said.”→“‘No, I need to tell you now. It’s important,’ I said. I could feel my voice shaking and tried not to cry.”→“My heart beat faster.”→“I gathered up my courage and told her the whole story and my wish to fix the vase if possible.”可以看出文章以“我”打碎花瓶后的情绪变化为线索展开:脸红→害怕→准备道歉→声音颤抖,努力不哭→心跳加速→鼓足勇气。根据续写部分“‘I’m sorry,’ I apologized to her…”→“Hearing that she disliked it made me feel much better…”可得知,续写部分第一段可描写作者道歉以及Missi的妈妈的反应,第二段可描写作者释怀以及成年后的感悟。
【分析文章】
本文以人物为线索展开,讲述了作者打碎了朋友Missi家的花瓶,作者决定说出实情,为自己的行为向Missi的妈妈道歉,Missi的妈妈也接受了道歉,作者成年后才意识到Missi的妈妈是多么善良。
【梳理脉络】
1.段落续写:
①由第一段首句内容“‘对不起,’我向她道歉,并开始解释。”可知,第一段可描写作者道歉的具体经过以及Missi的妈妈的反应。
②由第二段首句内容“听到她不喜欢它,我感觉好多了,但实际上她只是好心想安慰我。”可知,第二段可描写Missi的妈妈接受道歉后,作者的心理活动和感悟。
2.续写线索:“我”道歉—Missi的妈妈接受道歉—Missi的妈妈和“我们”聊天—“我”忘记打碎花瓶的事情—“我”成年后的感悟。
【参考答案】
“I’m sorry,” I apologized to her and began to explain. “I spun around in the room and didn’t see the glass vase. 1. (它掉了然后摔碎了). We gathered the pieces, and if it can be fixed, I will pay to fix it. But it all looks like small pieces of glass now. I’m so sorry.” Her mum looked at me, expressionless, and said nothing. Then 2. (她拥抱了我并且感谢我). She said she didn’t like that vase but had to keep it 3. (因为它是她家里传下来的).
Hearing that she disliked it made me feel much better, but actually she was just out of kindness trying to comfort me. This was not what Missi and I expected. We thought she would be angry with us when I told her that I had broken the vase. But her mum talked to us a bit more, sounding happy and telling us about her day. Then we went to the restaurant and I soon forgot the broken vase. 4. (直到我成年后我才意识到她是多么善良). Missi’s mum taught me a lesson about 5. (如何对待一个诚实的错误).
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读后续写微技能:找准线索,确定主题
1.It fell and broke
2.she hugged me and thanked me
3.because it was passed down in her family
4.I didn’t realize how kind she was until I reached my adult years
5.how to deal with an honest mistake
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