Unit 2 Reading for Writing 2（以读促写课讲义）英语人教版必修第一册

本讲义聚焦旅行叙事的以读促写教学，通过“故事山结构”（开端、发展、高潮、转折、结尾、主题）梳理旅行叙事逻辑，构建“读—学—写”对应关系，从阅读文本中提取环境描写、身体反应、心理刻画等写作要素，并结合主题词块、描写句式、衔接表达等语言支架，实现从输入到输出的迁移。 该资料以情境化设计为特色，Lead in创设旅行情境激活体验，Text Analysis用“困难—发现—感悟”逻辑培养思维品质，Language Building与Mini-Writing分层训练提升语言能力。Self-Assessment四维量表结合范文与升格示例，助力学生自我反思，课中便于教师引导迁移，课后作业通过古镇骑行、海边日出等情境巩固，有效提升学习能力与写作素养。

Unit 1 Reading for Writing 2 （以读促写课讲义） 目录 1. Lead in 2. Reading 3. Text Analysis 4. Language Building 5. Mini-Writing 6. Writing Task 7. Self-Assessment 8. Homework 1. Lead in 创设情境，回答问题 1. When you travel to a new place, what do you usually remember most: the famous sights, the unexpected difficulties, or the feelings you had on the way? Why? 2. Imagine you are cycling through high mountains. The road becomes steeper, the air colder and thinner, and your legs feel heavier with every turn. Would you keep going? What might make the difficult journey worth it? 2. Reading 拓展语篇阅读 课堂改编语篇 主题来源 旧人教版高中英语必修1 Unit 3 Travel Journal 山地旅行主题 核心写作价值 从“旅行计划”走向“旅行经历”：环境变化、身体反应、发现与感悟 A Night in the Mountains My cousin Mei and I had planned the mountain part of our cycling trip for weeks, but no map could show us what the road would actually feel like. Early that morning, we left the wide river valley behind and began climbing toward a high pass. At first, the sun was bright and the air was fresh. Snow-covered peaks stood far ahead, and I felt as if the whole world was opening in front of us. As the road climbed higher, however, the journey changed. The trees became fewer, the wind grew colder, and every breath seemed shorter than the one before. My legs, which had felt strong in the valley, now felt as heavy as stones. We stopped several times to drink water and catch our breath. For a few minutes, I wondered why I had chosen such a difficult route when an easier road could have taken us around the mountains. The last part of the climb was the hardest. The road turned sharply again and again, and I could see nothing beyond the next bend. I lowered my head and focused only on the front wheel. Then, just as I was ready to get off the bike and push, the road suddenly became level. We had reached the pass. I looked up and forgot how tired I was. On one side, snowy mountains rose into a deep blue sky. On the other, a green valley opened far below us, crossed by a silver river. Clouds moved slowly across the peaks, and sunlight touched a small lake in the distance. The cold wind was still strong, but now it felt clean and exciting rather than unfriendly. We stood there in silence for a long time, simply taking in the view. The ride down was completely different. The air became warmer, wild flowers appeared beside the road, and we passed small groups of animals feeding on the hillside. By late afternoon, we reached the lake we had seen from the pass. We set up our tent nearby, cooked a simple meal, and watched the last light disappear behind the mountains. That night, the sky was so clear that the stars seemed close enough to touch. Lying inside the tent, I thought about the long climb. The difficulty had not disappeared from my memory; instead, it had become part of what made the day special. I finally understood that travel was not only about arriving at a place. Sometimes the road itself—its cold wind, tired legs, unexpected views and quiet moments—was the part worth remembering most. 3. Text Analysis 一、结构框架：故事山与旅行叙事逻辑 故事山结构 文本内容分析 写作功能 Beginning（开端） “我”和Mei骑车进入高山地区；天气晴朗，雪峰在前，人物充满期待。 交代目的地、人物与旅行目标，引出“进入陌生旅途”。 Rising Action（发展） 道路不断升高；树木减少、风变冷、空气稀薄；“我”双腿沉重，多次停下休息。 用环境变化和身体反应逐步增加旅行难度。 Climax（高潮） 最后一段山路最陡，“我”只盯着前轮，甚至准备下车推行。 集中呈现体力与心理临界点，形成叙事张力。 Falling Action（转折） 到达山口后，雪山、河谷、湖泊突然展现在眼前；人物暂时忘记疲惫。 用“意外发现的美景”完成情绪转折。 Ending（结尾） 下山后在湖边露营；夜晚仰望星空并回想当天的长途骑行。 让行程自然收束，并为感悟提供具体情境。 Theme（主题升华） 困难没有被抹去，而是成为美好记忆的一部分；旅行的价值不仅在目的地，也在路上的经历。 从“真实旅途”内部生发主题，避免空泛说教。 故事发展逻辑总结： 进入陌生旅途 → 遭遇环境与体力困难 → 出现心理动摇 → 坚持完成最后一段 → 意外发现壮丽景色 → 继续旅程 → 重新理解旅行 可迁移故事模型： New destination → Difficult journey → Physical & emotional response → Unexpected beauty / discovery → Continued journey → New understanding 新目的地 → 旅行困难 → 身体与心理反应 → 意外发现 → 继续前行 → 新的理解 二、明确“读—学—写”一致对应关系 阅读文本（Read） 学习迁移（Learn） 续写应用（Write） “We left the wide river valley behind and began climbing toward a high pass.” 学习用“空间移动”建立旅行背景。 用于山地、海边、古镇、森林等旅行故事开篇。 “The trees became fewer, the wind grew colder...” 学习让环境变化推动情节，而不是单独写景。 用天气、地形、光线变化逐渐增加困难或制造期待。 “My legs... felt as heavy as stones.” 学习把抽象的 tired 写成身体反应。 描写疲惫、寒冷、紧张、高原反应等旅行感受。 “For a few minutes, I wondered why I had chosen such a difficult route...” 学习用短暂的内心独白呈现动摇。 让人物在困难处出现合理的心理波动，增强真实性。 “Then... the road suddenly became level. We had reached the pass.” 学习“延迟揭示”：先制造困难，再突然打开新景象。 可用于山顶、拐角、隧道出口、雨后等“发现型”转折。 “A green valley opened far below us, crossed by a silver river.” 学习多感官、空间层次化景物描写。 让景色服务人物情绪变化，而非堆砌形容词。 “The difficulty... had become part of what made the day special.” 学习从具体经历中自然提炼旅行意义。 结尾表达成长、感悟、重新理解“旅行”的价值。 4. Language Building 一、主题词块 14 / 17 学科网（北京）股份有限公司 学科网（北京）股份有限公司 1. 骑车进入高山地区 ________________ 2. 艰难爬上陡坡 ____________________ 3. 呼吸稀薄寒冷的山地空气 _________________ 4. 双腿像石头一样沉重 _____________________ 5. 停下来喘口气 ___________________________ 6. 坚持完成最后一段爬坡 ___________________ 7. 壮丽景色回报所有努力 ___________________ 8. 下行进入更温暖的山谷 ___________________ 9. 在湖边搭起帐篷 _________________________ 10. 意识到路途本身也是旅行的一部分 ________ 【答案】 1. ride into the high mountains 2. struggle up a steep road 3. breathe the thin, cold mountain air 4. have one’s legs feel as heavy as stones 5. stop to catch one’s breath 6. push through the last climb 7. be rewarded with a breathtaking view 8. descend into a warmer valley 9. set up a tent beside the lake 10. realize that the journey itself is part of travel 二、描写句式 14 / 17 学科网（北京）股份有限公司 学科网（北京）股份有限公司 1. 山路越来越陡，我的呼吸也变得越来越急促。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 2. 双腿像灌了铅一样沉，我不得不停下来喘口气。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 3. 有那么几分钟，我甚至开始怀疑自己为什么要选择这条路线。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 4. 我正准备下车推行，这时道路突然变平了。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 5. 我抬起头，眼前的景色让我一时忘记了疲惫。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 6. 阳光落在远处的湖面上，河流像一条银色的带子穿过山谷。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 7. 回想起来，我意识到，正是那些困难让这段旅程更加值得记住。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 【答案】 1. The road grew steeper and steeper, and my breathing became quicker with every turn. 2. My legs felt as heavy as stones, so I had to stop and catch my breath. 3. For a few minutes, I even began to wonder why I had chosen this route. 4. I was about to get off the bike and push when the road suddenly became level. 5. I looked up, and the view before me made me forget my tiredness for a moment. 6. Sunlight touched the distant lake, while the river ran through the valley like a silver ribbon. 7. Looking back, I realized that it was the difficulties that made the journey more worth remembering. 三、衔接表达 功能 表达 空间/路线推进 leave...behind; climb toward...; beyond the next bend; down in the valley; by the lake 困难递进 as the road climbed higher; with every turn; the last part was the hardest; to make matters worse 心理动摇 for a few minutes; I began to wonder...; part of me wanted to... 意外发现 then, suddenly...; just beyond...; when I looked up...; to my surprise... 情绪变化 at first; gradually; for a moment; now it felt... rather than... 继续旅程 after a short rest; from there; later that afternoon; by the time we reached... 结尾回顾 that night; looking back on the day; I finally understood that... 5. Mini-Writing 围绕“新目的地 → 旅行困难 → 身体与心理反应 → 意外发现 → 继续前行 → 新的理解”进行句段级微写作训练。 一、新目的地：交代旅行背景与期待 1. 这是我第一次徒步进入这片山地，我一直期待能亲眼看到山顶的日出。 ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 2. 天还没有完全亮，我们就离开山脚的小镇，沿着石阶向上走去。 ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 【答案】 1. It was my first time hiking into the mountains, and I had long looked forward to seeing the sunrise from the top. 2. Before the sky was fully light, we left the small town at the foot of the mountain and started climbing the stone steps. 二、旅行困难：让环境变化推动情节 1. 越往上走，石阶越陡，雾也越来越浓。 ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 2. 更糟糕的是，细雨开始落下，我们的鞋很快就湿透了。 ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 【答案】 1. The higher we climbed, the steeper the stone steps became and the thicker the mist grew. 2. To make matters worse, a light rain began to fall, and our shoes were soon completely wet. 三、身体与心理反应：把“累”和“想放弃”写具体 1. 我的腿越来越沉，呼吸也变得急促起来。 ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 2. 有那么一刻，我真想转身下山，因为我甚至看不见山顶在哪里。 ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 【答案】 1. My legs grew heavier and heavier, and my breathing became quicker. 2. For a moment, I really wanted to turn back because I could not even see where the top was. 四、意外发现：用“转弯/天气变化/视野打开”完成情绪转折 1. 我正准备停下来休息，这时一阵风吹散了眼前的雾。 ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 2. 太阳正从云层后升起，整个山谷在金色的光线中慢慢显现出来。 ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 【答案】 1. I was about to stop for a rest when a sudden wind blew the mist away. 2. The sun was rising from behind the clouds, and the whole valley slowly appeared in golden light. 五、新的理解：从具体经历自然升华 1. 到达山顶后，我才发现，之前的疲惫并没有消失，却让眼前的景色显得更加珍贵。 ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 2. 回想这段路，我意识到，有时旅行最难忘的部分并不是终点，而是我们如何一步一步走到那里。 ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 【答案】 1. When I reached the top, I found that the tiredness had not disappeared, but it made the view before me feel even more precious. 2. Looking back on the hike, I realized that sometimes the most unforgettable part of a journey is not the destination, but how we make our way there step by step. 6. Writing Task 一、段落迁移写作 写作情境：国庆假期，你和家人徒步前往一处山顶观景台。出发时天气不错，你十分期待；途中山路越来越陡，后来又下起小雨，鞋子被打湿，你一度想返回。就在你准备停下时，云雾突然散开，山谷和一道彩虹出现在眼前。你继续登顶，并对“旅行的意义”有了新的理解。 要求：按照“新目的地 → 旅行困难 → 身体与心理反应 → 意外发现 → 继续前行 → 新的理解”的逻辑，完成一个约 100—120 词的英文段落。 二、情节框架构思 故事步骤 内容提示 写作提醒 新目的地 国庆假期；与家人徒步；目标是山顶观景台 交代时间、地点、目标和期待 旅行困难 山路变陡；下小雨；鞋被打湿 用环境变化制造困难，不要一句带过 身体与心理反应 腿沉、呼吸急；想返回 身体反应与内心动摇要一致 意外发现 云雾散开；山谷和彩虹出现 让“景色”承担情节转折功能 继续前行 短暂休息后继续登顶 用动作表现选择，而不是直接写“我坚持” 新的理解 困难成为记忆的一部分；路途本身有价值 主题从前文经历中自然生长 三、写作区域 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 【参考范文】 During the National Day holiday, my family and I hiked toward a mountain viewpoint. At first, I was excited, but the stone path soon became steeper and a light rain began to fall. My shoes were wet, my legs felt heavy, and for a moment I wanted to turn back. Just as I stopped to catch my breath, a strong wind pushed the mist away. A green valley appeared below us, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. The view gave me new energy, so I kept climbing until we reached the top. Looking back, I realized that the difficult part of a journey can make its beauty more meaningful. 7. Self-Assessment 一、四维量表 评价维度 5分：优秀 4分：良好 3分：基本达标 1—2分：有待改进 情节融洽度 困难—反应—发现—继续—结果因果完整；转折由环境变化自然触发。 主要情节合理，个别环节略简略。 基本完成情节，但多为事件罗列，转折较弱。 出现突兀发现、无原因转折或偏离旅行情境。 人物一致性 人物期待、疲惫、动摇、恢复与继续前行均有动作/心理依据，变化渐进。 人物总体可信，情绪变化基本合理。 人物行为基本合理，但情绪转变较模板化。 人物突然“满血复活”或言行与前文状态明显矛盾。 主题升华 由具体旅途困难与发现自然生发“路途本身的价值”，与结尾事件紧密相连。 主题明确，与经历有关，但表达略直接。 有感悟，但与前文具体事件联系较弱。 无升华，或生硬添加格言/口号。 语言表达 环境、动作、身体反应、心理描写结合自然；句式有变化；空间/时间衔接清楚。 表达清楚，使用了部分高质量词块和复合句；少量错误不影响理解。 以简单句为主；有一定搭配/语法问题，但基本可理解。 错误较多；句子不完整或大量照搬阅读文本。 二、范文赏析 During the National Day holiday, my family and I hiked toward a mountain viewpoint. At first, I was excited, but the stone path soon became steeper and a light rain began to fall. My shoes were wet, my legs felt heavy, and for a moment I wanted to turn back. Just as I stopped to catch my breath, a strong wind pushed the mist away. A green valley appeared below us, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. The view gave me new energy, so I kept climbing until we reached the top. Looking back, I realized that the difficult part of a journey can make its beauty more meaningful. 三、情节融洽度升格示例 评价维度 原句 主要问题 升格后 升格点 情节融洽度 It rained. I was tired. Then I saw a rainbow and continued. 事件只是排列，“为什么停下”“彩虹如何改变人物选择”没有过程。 My legs felt heavier with every step, and I was about to turn back when a sudden wind cleared the mist. A rainbow appeared over the valley, giving me a reason to keep going. 补充困难递进＋临界动作＋自然触发的转折。 人物一致性 I was exhausted, but I suddenly became very excited and ran to the top. “极度疲惫”直接变成“跑到山顶”，人物状态突变。 Although I was still tired, the view made me forget my frustration for a moment. After a short rest, I continued at a slower but steadier pace. 保留原有疲惫，呈现渐进恢复。 主题升华 I learned that where there is a will, there is a way. 格言与“雨、云雾、彩虹、登顶”的具体经历联系不足。 Looking back, I realized that the difficult climb had not ruined the trip; it had made the view at the top worth more to me. 主题回扣故事内部的“困难—景色”关系。 语言表达 The mountain was beautiful. I was tired. The rain was bad. 简单句堆叠，环境与人物感受彼此分离。 With rain soaking my shoes and my legs growing heavier, I struggled up the steep path, wondering whether the view ahead could possibly be worth the effort. 整合环境＋身体反应＋动作＋心理。 8. Homework 微情景段落迁移写作 要求：任选一个所给情境，按照“新目的地 → 旅行困难 → 身体与心理反应 → 意外发现 → 继续前行 → 新的理解”的逻辑，完成一个约 80—100 词的英文段落。注意情节融洽、人物情绪一致，并在结尾自然升华主题。 作业一：雨后的古镇骑行 你第一次和朋友骑车去郊外的一座古镇。开始时天气晴朗，但途中遇到长上坡，随后又突然下雨。你们躲进路边的小亭子，一度担心计划被打乱。雨停后，夕阳照在稻田和湿漉漉的古桥上，眼前的景色与你原先想象的完全不同。你们继续骑到古镇，也重新理解了“意外”与旅行的关系。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 作业二：等待海边日出 你和家人旅行时决定清晨去海边看日出。天还很黑，你们就出发了；海风很冷，等待时间比想象中更长，你开始后悔起得这么早。就在你想回酒店时，天边出现第一道橙色光线，海面逐渐亮起来。你安静地看完日出，并从这段等待中获得新的感悟。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 【参考范文】 作业一 It was my first cycling trip to an old town outside the city. The morning was sunny, but a long uphill road soon slowed us down. Then rain began to fall, and we had to wait in a small roadside pavilion. For a moment, I worried that the whole plan had been ruined. Half an hour later, however, the rain stopped. Golden sunlight spread across the wet rice fields, and the old bridge ahead shone quietly in the distance. We got back on our bikes and continued. I learned that an unexpected delay can sometimes become the most memorable part of a journey. 作业二 During a family trip, we decided to watch the sunrise by the sea. We left the hotel while the sky was still dark. The wind was much colder than I had expected, and after a long wait I began to regret getting up so early. Just as I suggested going back, a thin orange line appeared on the horizon. Slowly, the sea changed from black to gold, and everyone around us became quiet. Standing there, I forgot the cold. The morning taught me that some beautiful moments do not arrive quickly; they ask us to wait long enough to notice them. $Unit 1 Reading for Writing 2 （以读促写课讲义） 目录 1. Lead in 2. Reading 3. Text Analysis 4. Language Building 5. Mini-Writing 6. Writing Task 7. Self-Assessment 8. Homework 1. Lead in 创设情境，回答问题 1. When you travel to a new place, what do you usually remember most: the famous sights, the unexpected difficulties, or the feelings you had on the way? Why? 2. Imagine you are cycling through high mountains. The road becomes steeper, the air colder and thinner, and your legs feel heavier with every turn. Would you keep going? What might make the difficult journey worth it? 2. Reading 拓展语篇阅读 课堂改编语篇 主题来源 旧人教版高中英语必修1 Unit 3 Travel Journal 山地旅行主题 核心写作价值 从“旅行计划”走向“旅行经历”：环境变化、身体反应、发现与感悟 A Night in the Mountains My cousin Mei and I had planned the mountain part of our cycling trip for weeks, but no map could show us what the road would actually feel like. Early that morning, we left the wide river valley behind and began climbing toward a high pass. At first, the sun was bright and the air was fresh. Snow-covered peaks stood far ahead, and I felt as if the whole world was opening in front of us. As the road climbed higher, however, the journey changed. The trees became fewer, the wind grew colder, and every breath seemed shorter than the one before. My legs, which had felt strong in the valley, now felt as heavy as stones. We stopped several times to drink water and catch our breath. For a few minutes, I wondered why I had chosen such a difficult route when an easier road could have taken us around the mountains. The last part of the climb was the hardest. The road turned sharply again and again, and I could see nothing beyond the next bend. I lowered my head and focused only on the front wheel. Then, just as I was ready to get off the bike and push, the road suddenly became level. We had reached the pass. I looked up and forgot how tired I was. On one side, snowy mountains rose into a deep blue sky. On the other, a green valley opened far below us, crossed by a silver river. Clouds moved slowly across the peaks, and sunlight touched a small lake in the distance. The cold wind was still strong, but now it felt clean and exciting rather than unfriendly. We stood there in silence for a long time, simply taking in the view. The ride down was completely different. The air became warmer, wild flowers appeared beside the road, and we passed small groups of animals feeding on the hillside. By late afternoon, we reached the lake we had seen from the pass. We set up our tent nearby, cooked a simple meal, and watched the last light disappear behind the mountains. That night, the sky was so clear that the stars seemed close enough to touch. Lying inside the tent, I thought about the long climb. The difficulty had not disappeared from my memory; instead, it had become part of what made the day special. I finally understood that travel was not only about arriving at a place. Sometimes the road itself—its cold wind, tired legs, unexpected views and quiet moments—was the part worth remembering most. 3. Text Analysis 一、结构框架：故事山与旅行叙事逻辑 故事山结构 文本内容分析 写作功能 Beginning（开端） “我”和Mei骑车进入高山地区；天气晴朗，雪峰在前，人物充满期待。 交代目的地、人物与旅行目标，引出“进入陌生旅途”。 Rising Action（发展） 道路不断升高；树木减少、风变冷、空气稀薄；“我”双腿沉重，多次停下休息。 用环境变化和身体反应逐步增加旅行难度。 Climax（高潮） 最后一段山路最陡，“我”只盯着前轮，甚至准备下车推行。 集中呈现体力与心理临界点，形成叙事张力。 Falling Action（转折） 到达山口后，雪山、河谷、湖泊突然展现在眼前；人物暂时忘记疲惫。 用“意外发现的美景”完成情绪转折。 Ending（结尾） 下山后在湖边露营；夜晚仰望星空并回想当天的长途骑行。 让行程自然收束，并为感悟提供具体情境。 Theme（主题升华） 困难没有被抹去，而是成为美好记忆的一部分；旅行的价值不仅在目的地，也在路上的经历。 从“真实旅途”内部生发主题，避免空泛说教。 故事发展逻辑总结： 进入陌生旅途 → 遭遇环境与体力困难 → 出现心理动摇 → 坚持完成最后一段 → 意外发现壮丽景色 → 继续旅程 → 重新理解旅行 可迁移故事模型： New destination → Difficult journey → Physical & emotional response → Unexpected beauty / discovery → Continued journey → New understanding 新目的地 → 旅行困难 → 身体与心理反应 → 意外发现 → 继续前行 → 新的理解 二、明确“读—学—写”一致对应关系 阅读文本（Read） 学习迁移（Learn） 续写应用（Write） “We left the wide river valley behind and began climbing toward a high pass.” 学习用“空间移动”建立旅行背景。 用于山地、海边、古镇、森林等旅行故事开篇。 “The trees became fewer, the wind grew colder...” 学习让环境变化推动情节，而不是单独写景。 用天气、地形、光线变化逐渐增加困难或制造期待。 “My legs... felt as heavy as stones.” 学习把抽象的 tired 写成身体反应。 描写疲惫、寒冷、紧张、高原反应等旅行感受。 “For a few minutes, I wondered why I had chosen such a difficult route...” 学习用短暂的内心独白呈现动摇。 让人物在困难处出现合理的心理波动，增强真实性。 “Then... the road suddenly became level. We had reached the pass.” 学习“延迟揭示”：先制造困难，再突然打开新景象。 可用于山顶、拐角、隧道出口、雨后等“发现型”转折。 “A green valley opened far below us, crossed by a silver river.” 学习多感官、空间层次化景物描写。 让景色服务人物情绪变化，而非堆砌形容词。 “The difficulty... had become part of what made the day special.” 学习从具体经历中自然提炼旅行意义。 结尾表达成长、感悟、重新理解“旅行”的价值。 4. Language Building 一、主题词块 14 / 17 学科网（北京）股份有限公司 学科网（北京）股份有限公司 1. 骑车进入高山地区 ________________ 2. 艰难爬上陡坡 ____________________ 3. 呼吸稀薄寒冷的山地空气 _________________ 4. 双腿像石头一样沉重 _____________________ 5. 停下来喘口气 ___________________________ 6. 坚持完成最后一段爬坡 ___________________ 7. 壮丽景色回报所有努力 ___________________ 8. 下行进入更温暖的山谷 ___________________ 9. 在湖边搭起帐篷 _________________________ 10. 意识到路途本身也是旅行的一部分 ________ 二、描写句式 14 / 17 学科网（北京）股份有限公司 学科网（北京）股份有限公司 1. 山路越来越陡，我的呼吸也变得越来越急促。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 2. 双腿像灌了铅一样沉，我不得不停下来喘口气。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 3. 有那么几分钟，我甚至开始怀疑自己为什么要选择这条路线。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 4. 我正准备下车推行，这时道路突然变平了。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 5. 我抬起头，眼前的景色让我一时忘记了疲惫。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 6. 阳光落在远处的湖面上，河流像一条银色的带子穿过山谷。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 7. 回想起来，我意识到，正是那些困难让这段旅程更加值得记住。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 三、衔接表达 功能 表达 空间/路线推进 leave...behind; climb toward...; beyond the next bend; down in the valley; by the lake 困难递进 as the road climbed higher; with every turn; the last part was the hardest; to make matters worse 心理动摇 for a few minutes; I began to wonder...; part of me wanted to... 意外发现 then, suddenly...; just beyond...; when I looked up...; to my surprise... 情绪变化 at first; gradually; for a moment; now it felt... rather than... 继续旅程 after a short rest; from there; later that afternoon; by the time we reached... 结尾回顾 that night; looking back on the day; I finally understood that... 5. Mini-Writing 围绕“新目的地 → 旅行困难 → 身体与心理反应 → 意外发现 → 继续前行 → 新的理解”进行句段级微写作训练。 一、新目的地：交代旅行背景与期待 1. 这是我第一次徒步进入这片山地，我一直期待能亲眼看到山顶的日出。 ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 2. 天还没有完全亮，我们就离开山脚的小镇，沿着石阶向上走去。 ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 二、旅行困难：让环境变化推动情节 1. 越往上走，石阶越陡，雾也越来越浓。 ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 2. 更糟糕的是，细雨开始落下，我们的鞋很快就湿透了。 ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 三、身体与心理反应：把“累”和“想放弃”写具体 1. 我的腿越来越沉，呼吸也变得急促起来。 ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 2. 有那么一刻，我真想转身下山，因为我甚至看不见山顶在哪里。 ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 四、意外发现：用“转弯/天气变化/视野打开”完成情绪转折 1. 我正准备停下来休息，这时一阵风吹散了眼前的雾。 ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 2. 太阳正从云层后升起，整个山谷在金色的光线中慢慢显现出来。 ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 五、新的理解：从具体经历自然升华 1. 到达山顶后，我才发现，之前的疲惫并没有消失，却让眼前的景色显得更加珍贵。 ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 2. 回想这段路，我意识到，有时旅行最难忘的部分并不是终点，而是我们如何一步一步走到那里。 ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 6. Writing Task 一、段落迁移写作 写作情境：国庆假期，你和家人徒步前往一处山顶观景台。出发时天气不错，你十分期待；途中山路越来越陡，后来又下起小雨，鞋子被打湿，你一度想返回。就在你准备停下时，云雾突然散开，山谷和一道彩虹出现在眼前。你继续登顶，并对“旅行的意义”有了新的理解。 要求：按照“新目的地 → 旅行困难 → 身体与心理反应 → 意外发现 → 继续前行 → 新的理解”的逻辑，完成一个约 100—120 词的英文段落。 二、情节框架构思 故事步骤 内容提示 写作提醒 新目的地 国庆假期；与家人徒步；目标是山顶观景台 交代时间、地点、目标和期待 旅行困难 山路变陡；下小雨；鞋被打湿 用环境变化制造困难，不要一句带过 身体与心理反应 腿沉、呼吸急；想返回 身体反应与内心动摇要一致 意外发现 云雾散开；山谷和彩虹出现 让“景色”承担情节转折功能 继续前行 短暂休息后继续登顶 用动作表现选择，而不是直接写“我坚持” 新的理解 困难成为记忆的一部分；路途本身有价值 主题从前文经历中自然生长 三、写作区域 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 7. Self-Assessment 一、四维量表 评价维度 5分：优秀 4分：良好 3分：基本达标 1—2分：有待改进 情节融洽度 困难—反应—发现—继续—结果因果完整；转折由环境变化自然触发。 主要情节合理，个别环节略简略。 基本完成情节，但多为事件罗列，转折较弱。 出现突兀发现、无原因转折或偏离旅行情境。 人物一致性 人物期待、疲惫、动摇、恢复与继续前行均有动作/心理依据，变化渐进。 人物总体可信，情绪变化基本合理。 人物行为基本合理，但情绪转变较模板化。 人物突然“满血复活”或言行与前文状态明显矛盾。 主题升华 由具体旅途困难与发现自然生发“路途本身的价值”，与结尾事件紧密相连。 主题明确，与经历有关，但表达略直接。 有感悟，但与前文具体事件联系较弱。 无升华，或生硬添加格言/口号。 语言表达 环境、动作、身体反应、心理描写结合自然；句式有变化；空间/时间衔接清楚。 表达清楚，使用了部分高质量词块和复合句；少量错误不影响理解。 以简单句为主；有一定搭配/语法问题，但基本可理解。 错误较多；句子不完整或大量照搬阅读文本。 二、范文赏析 During the National Day holiday, my family and I hiked toward a mountain viewpoint. At first, I was excited, but the stone path soon became steeper and a light rain began to fall. My shoes were wet, my legs felt heavy, and for a moment I wanted to turn back. Just as I stopped to catch my breath, a strong wind pushed the mist away. A green valley appeared below us, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. The view gave me new energy, so I kept climbing until we reached the top. Looking back, I realized that the difficult part of a journey can make its beauty more meaningful. 三、情节融洽度升格示例 评价维度 原句 主要问题 升格后 升格点 情节融洽度 It rained. I was tired. Then I saw a rainbow and continued. 事件只是排列，“为什么停下”“彩虹如何改变人物选择”没有过程。 My legs felt heavier with every step, and I was about to turn back when a sudden wind cleared the mist. A rainbow appeared over the valley, giving me a reason to keep going. 补充困难递进＋临界动作＋自然触发的转折。 人物一致性 I was exhausted, but I suddenly became very excited and ran to the top. “极度疲惫”直接变成“跑到山顶”，人物状态突变。 Although I was still tired, the view made me forget my frustration for a moment. After a short rest, I continued at a slower but steadier pace. 保留原有疲惫，呈现渐进恢复。 主题升华 I learned that where there is a will, there is a way. 格言与“雨、云雾、彩虹、登顶”的具体经历联系不足。 Looking back, I realized that the difficult climb had not ruined the trip; it had made the view at the top worth more to me. 主题回扣故事内部的“困难—景色”关系。 语言表达 The mountain was beautiful. I was tired. The rain was bad. 简单句堆叠，环境与人物感受彼此分离。 With rain soaking my shoes and my legs growing heavier, I struggled up the steep path, wondering whether the view ahead could possibly be worth the effort. 整合环境＋身体反应＋动作＋心理。 8. Homework 微情景段落迁移写作 要求：任选一个所给情境，按照“新目的地 → 旅行困难 → 身体与心理反应 → 意外发现 → 继续前行 → 新的理解”的逻辑，完成一个约 80—100 词的英文段落。注意情节融洽、人物情绪一致，并在结尾自然升华主题。 作业一：雨后的古镇骑行 你第一次和朋友骑车去郊外的一座古镇。开始时天气晴朗，但途中遇到长上坡，随后又突然下雨。你们躲进路边的小亭子，一度担心计划被打乱。雨停后，夕阳照在稻田和湿漉漉的古桥上，眼前的景色与你原先想象的完全不同。你们继续骑到古镇，也重新理解了“意外”与旅行的关系。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 作业二：等待海边日出 你和家人旅行时决定清晨去海边看日出。天还很黑，你们就出发了；海风很冷，等待时间比想象中更长，你开始后悔起得这么早。就在你想回酒店时，天边出现第一道橙色光线，海面逐渐亮起来。你安静地看完日出，并从这段等待中获得新的感悟。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ $