Unit 3 The world online 同步写作之读后续写 课件-2025-2026学年高中英语译林版必修第三册

Unit 3 The world online 译林版2020必修第三册 读后续写：与网络相关 读话题写作文高一下 Learning objectives At the end of class, you will be able to： 1.指导学生准确确定文本、时空、人物和事由； 2.指导学生谋篇布局，故事情节衔接自然，叙事完整； 3.指导学生遣词造句，言语得体。 1 2 技法点拨 目 录 CONTENTS 写作实践 3 技法点拨： 如何进行“动作+细节”描写 01 4 (1)用词精准化 ①The little boy said sorry to his mother. 小男孩对他妈妈说对不起。 ②The little boy hung his head and mumbled an apology to his mother. 小男孩垂着头，咕哝着向他母亲道歉。 【分析】第一句中“said sorry to”不带任何感情色彩，而第二句中使用了具体化的表示“说”的动词“mumbled（咕哝）”，从而使一个不愿意道歉又不得不道歉的小男孩的形象生动地复现在读者脑海中。除了精准选用表示动作的词语外，还要给动词加上适当的修饰成分。适当的修饰语能细致地表达出动作的时间、幅度、速度、力度等，使人物形象更具活力，更好地体现人物的鲜明个性与思想境界。动作描写中，常用副词、介词短语等来充当修饰成分。 1.动作描写技巧 （2）动作过程化 ①She went to catch the butterfly. 她去捉蝴蝶。 ②She crept along the path, bent over swiftly and cupped her hands around the butterfly gently. 她蹑手蹑脚地走着小路，迅速弯下腰，轻轻地绕着蝴蝶。 【分析】第①句在描写主人公捕捉蝴蝶的动作时，没有细节的动作描写，因此显得很平淡。而②句运用了creep（爬），bend（弯腰），cup（使成杯型）三个连贯的动词生动具体地描述了主人公小心翼翼捕捉蝴蝶的过程，具有极强的画面感。因此，在续写过程中，适当地使用一连串的动词来表示过程，能为文章增添不少色彩。 1.动作描写技巧 （3）语言修辞化 ①The old man’s face wrinkled. 老人的脸皱了起来。 ②The old man’s face wrinkled, like a withered apple. 老人的脸皱了起来，像一个干瘪的苹果。 【分析】第②句使用了比喻，把“老人皱起来的脸”比作“一个干瘪的苹果”，使得脸上的动作描述更加生动形象。 ③My stomach was aching for not eating on time. 我的胃因不按时吃饭而疼痛。 ④My stomach was punishing me for not eating on time. 我的胃在惩罚我没有按时吃东西。 【分析】第②句使用了拟人，不说“疼痛”，而说“惩罚了我”，使表达更加生动有趣。 1.动作描写技巧 (1)“动作+神情”细节描写 例1：She buried her head in her in the pillow/her hands, bursting into tears. 她用枕头捂住脑袋/她双手掩面，放声哭了起来。 例2：She rested her head on father’s shoulder, a big smile on her face. 她将头靠在爸爸肩上，脸上带着大大的微笑。 例3：The bright smile swept away the tiredness on mom’s face. 灿烂的笑容把妈妈脸上的疲惫一扫而光。 例4：She laughed , her eyes shining/sparking/sparkling/glistening/glowing with excitement. 她笑了，眼里闪烁着兴奋的光芒。 例5：He straightened up and looked at me, open-mouthed/ with his mouth opening widely. 他站起身来，目瞪口呆地看着我。 2.细节描写技巧 (2)“情绪+动作”细节描写 例6：She couldn’t contain her excitement, jumping up and down with joy. 她无法控制兴奋，高兴地上蹿下跳。 例7：Her heart bursting with joy, she felt as if she was on cloud nine. 她内心充满喜悦，感觉自己在天堂之上。 例8：His heart raced with fear, and his palms grew wet with sweat. 他心中充满了恐惧，掌心冒汗。 例9：Her body trembled with fear, and she couldn’t catch her breath. 她吓得发抖，都快喘不过气了。 例10：His face twisted with rage; his voice shook with anger. 他的脸因愤怒而扭曲，声音因怒气而颤抖。 2.细节描写技巧 （3）“心理活动”细节描写 例11：Colour rushed/flooded/rose to her cheeks when she realized she was being watched. 意识到有人在看她，她顿时涨红了脸。 例12：Afterwards, I pretended to be cheerful, but Lucy sensed something was wrong. 后来，我假装开心，但是露西感觉到了异样。 2.细节描写技巧 写作实践： 网络相关读后续写 02 11 阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。 A few weeks after the start of the school year, Mello noticed that his friend Melvin was being laughed at by other classmates for the fact that his shoes were worn out(破旧的). Mello couldn’t stand seeing his friend being bullied(欺凌). He really didn’t appreciate other people talking about him that way. In fact, he had been bullied because he was short, so he decided to call his mother immediately after school. He told her that he was tired of this bad situation and that he couldn’t stand anyone laughing at his friend. So, in an act of generosity, Mello suggested that he use his pocket money to buy Melvin a new pair of shoes. He also said that he could do without a New Year gift. Seeing the little boy acted as an adult, the mother was deeply touched and agreed to his request. After buying them, Mello went to bed earlier than usual, so he could wake up early the next day and go to school a little earlier. This way he could deliver the shoes to his friend without being noticed by other classmates. However, shortly after he gave the shoes to his friend, the headmaster, Bryant Brown, called him into his office. Mr Brown told him that he had seen Melvin with a shoebox around the school. When he asked Melvin what was in the box, Melvin showed him that it was a new pair of shoes. Melvin explained that it was his friend Mello who had bought them for him. Mello explained to Mr Brown that he bought them with his pocket money. Mr Brown wanted to share this touching moment with more people, and then he took a picture of the shoes. 典例赏析 注意： 1. 续写词数应为150左右； 2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。 Para.1: Mr Brown asked the children’s parents for permission(许可) to share the story online. ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Para. 2: Mr Brown was amazed to see his post get so many likes. ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 22 第一步：读透文本 14 1.主题分析 本文讲述了新学年开始几个星期后，Mello注意到他的朋友Melvin因为鞋子穿破了而被其他同学嘲笑。于是Mello给朋友买了一双新鞋，这一举动被校长发现了，校长请求孩子们的父母允许他在网上分享这个故事。这篇帖子很快就得到了很多赞，被分享了很多次，也收到了很多评论，孩子和父母都被打动了。 2. 情节梳理：故事要素 即故事的人物、时间、地点、事件的起因、经过和结果，也就是我们常说的“5W1H”。 要 素 内 容 when A few weeks after the start of the school year where At school who Melvin, Mr Brown and Mello What Mello bought Melvin new shoes with his pocket money. Why The students laughed at Melvin for his worn-out shoes. How ? 22 第二步：构建情节 17 1.构思续写两段情节 ①根据第一段首句内容“Mr Brown asked the children’s parents for permission to share the story online（布朗请求孩子们的父母允许他在网上分享这个故事）.”可知，第一段可描写故事分享以后得到了很多点赞，被分享了很多次，也收到了很多评论。 第一段具体情节预设如下： 衔接句: How did Mr Brown feel? 微场景1: What did Mr Brown do? 微场景2: What’s the result? 段尾句: How to end Para. l to ensure the coherence with Para. 2? 思路点拨 ②由第二段首句内容“Mr Brown was amazed to see his post get so many likes（布朗先生看到他的帖子得到这么多人的点赞，感到很惊讶）.”可知，第二段可描写校长的感悟以及孩子和父母都被打动了。 第一段具体情节预设如下： 衔接句: How did Mr Brown react? 微场景: How did other people react? 段尾句: What’s the end of the story? 2.续写线索：请求分享——帖子反响巨大——校长惊讶——校长感悟——孩子和父母感悟 注：续写中，我们可以进行一些具体的 “动作+神情”细节描写，如第一段布朗得到孩子们父母允许分享故事后，可以把他的内心感受、表现出来的神态、以及所做的动作结合在一些进行描写等。 思路点拨 点1：位于续写第一段段首，流畅衔接前面的记叙文和第一段段首语； 点2：位于续写第一段段尾，流畅衔接第二段段首句； 点3：位于续写第二段段首，续写衔接第二段段首语； 点4：文章结尾升华，给予读者正能量，揭示和强调主题。 情节构建的重点 20 20 22 第三步：巧用话题词汇、句式完成句子 21 1.My student Mello told me ___________________________ ______________________ (他厌倦了其他学生嘲笑梅尔文的鞋子). Mello used his pocket money and bought Melvin new shoes. 2.The post quickly got many likes,_______________________ ___________________________ (被分享了很多次，也收到了很多评论). 3.Netizens _________________________________________ (被他们纯洁美好的友谊打动). 4. He stated ________________________________________ (这是他一生中从未见过的一种善意的举动), especially when it happened at his school. 完成句子 he was tired of other students laughing at Melvin for his shoes was shared lots of times and received plenty of comments were impressed by the purity and beauty of their friendship that it was truly a kind gesture he had never seen in his life 5.He was lost for words because Mello’s motivation was ____________________________________________ (我们希望别人怎样对待我们，我们就应该怎样对待别人). 6.He promised to engage children beyond the classroom and ____________________________ (让快乐成为学习的重要组成部分). 7.The children’s families _______________________________ _____________________ (都对这个感人故事的反响印象深刻). 完成句子 that we should always treat people the way we want to be treated make joy an essential part of learning were all impressed by the responses to the touching story Mr Brown asked the children’s parents for permission to share the story online. When they said yes, he felt excited and posted it, with the message “My student Mello told me he was tired of other students laughing at Melvin for his shoes(衔接句；“情绪+动作”细节描写）. Mello used his pocket money and bought Melvin new shoes（动作过程化）. This is what I live for—to be that helping hand.” The post quickly went viral got many likes, was shared lots of times and received plenty of comments(衔接句）. Mr Brown was amazed to see his post get so many likes. He stated that it was truly a kind gesture he had never seen in his life(衔接句）. He was lost for words especially when it happened at his school(when引导的时间状语从句). Mello summed up his motivation on the post, “You should always treat people the way you want to be treated.” The school, Mr Brown, and the children's families were all impressed by the response to their touching story. Together they intended for the school to delight children beyond the classroom, believing joy is an essential part of learning(结尾句). 佳作展现 At the end of the lesson, I am able to： 1 2 3 4 5 plan the layout of the story( the plot is natural, and the narrative is good) use appropriate words and sentences to express what I want to write an continuation writing properly. 自我评价 阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。 I could feel the excitement rising in me as I held the beautifully wrapped present in my hands. I felt the string of the package softly and then, unable to contain my curiosity any longer, I tore it open. It was a bright, brand-new laptop. I had scored straight A’s as for my O-level examination and this was my reward. I had always envied my friends who were exchanging news about “chat rooms”, “instant messaging” and “e-mailing’, all of which I knew nothing about. Now I was going to find out. It started out simply enough. I was searching for some information online when I came across a social networking site. Soon I became attracted to my new-found electronic friend. I began to spend more and more time on YouTube and became addicted to Facebook and Twitter. I had never imagined that the day would come when I would be controlled entirely by the glowing screen before me. Whenever I was not glued to these social networking sites, I would be going through gossip or fashion websites. As time passed, I realized that I was addicted to the Internet. During weekends, when I had more time on my hands, I could easily spend a few hours on my laptop. It came to a point where I chose to lock myself in my room, refusing to come out and take part in family discussions. I preferred to stay connected to the people I made friends with on the Internet although I had never met them. Soon I was spending the whole hours of the morning surfing on the Internet. Sleep was reduced to small naps and my grades at school also began getting from bad to worse. 实战演练 注意： 1. 续写词数应为150左右； 2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。 Para1: It was about this time that my parents noticed my change. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Para2: Then one day, my father took away my laptop. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 实战演练 注：【思路点拨】见书P85页。 It was about this time that my parents noticed my change. They voiced their disapproval(衔接句). It became obvious to them that I was spending too much time on the Internet. I was asked to slow down my usage of the Internet. Yet, however hard I tried, I was unable to pull myself away, unable to end my chat sessions, and unable to concentrate on my lessons. I was desperate for just another click, just another look at my e-mail or message board(心理描写+结尾句). Then one day, my father took away my laptop. I cried and objected but in vain(动作描写+衔接句). Dad had made up his mind. Over time, I realized that Dad and Mum had always wanted the best for me. That was when I decided to take the big step—to conquer my internet addiction. Quitting was harder than I had expected. But with dogged determination, I knew that I would be able to do it. I promised my parents that I would turn over a new leaf(结尾句). 佳作展现 Thank you for your listening $