内容正文:
Writing Workshop
Section 8
课时目标
1.了解续写故事的关键信息,分析故事的结构及语言风格。
2.学会使用描述性语言续写故事。
新知深化学习
写作专项提能
课时检测
Contents 目录
01
02
03
3
01
新知深化学习
1.We were aboard the machine now, and I shook with cold in the darkness.
我们现在在机器上,我在黑暗中冷得发抖。
★aboard prep.&adv.在(船,飞机,火车)上;上(船,飞机,火车)
|用|法|感|知|
·(“场景描写”佳句)The hurricane was so strong that all the people aboard the ship trembled or screamed.
飓风如此强烈,以至于船上所有的人都发抖或尖叫。
·As soon as the train arrived, all the waiting people went aboard.
火车一到,所有等待的人都上车了。
归纳点拨 (1)go aboard (the plane/train) 登机/上船
All aboard! (口语)请大家上船/车/飞机!
Welcome aboard! 欢迎登机/上船/上车!
(2)board n. 板
v. 登机;上船
on board 在船上;在飞机上
名师点津 abroad与aboard两者容易混淆,abroad是副词,意为“在国外;到国外”。
|应|用|融|会|
(完成句子)
①The plane is taking off. ___________, please.
飞机就要起飞了,请大家上飞机。
②The passengers __________ are enjoying picturesque scenery in the bay.
船上的乘客正在欣赏海湾如画的风景。
All aboard
on board
2.I would never again take my home for granted.
我再也不会不把家当回事了。
★take ...for granted视……为理所当然(而对其不重视)
|用|法|感|知|
·(“建议”类佳句)You must adjust to independent life and never take it for granted that others must help you.
你必须适应独立的生活,永远不要理所当然地认为别人必须帮助你。
·We take nature for granted without realising the inspiration given by it.
我们认为自然是理所当然的,却没有意识到它给我们的灵感。
[归纳点拨]
(1)take sth.for granted 认为……理所当然,想当然
(2)take it for granted that ...中,it 是形式宾语,真正的宾语是 that 从句。
|应|用|融|会|
(完成句子)
①You should take the blame for your fault,and don't ______ ______________________________.
你应该为自己的错误承担责任,不要把别人的原谅当作理所当然。
②As my birthday approached, it was with difficulty that I could contained my excitement, ________________________ my parents would buy me what I had wanted.
随着我生日的临近,我难以抑制自己的兴奋之情,理所当然地认为父母会给我买我想要的东西。
take
others' forgiveness for granted
taking it for granted that
02
写作专项提能
■写作项目——Write a continuation of a story
本单元的写作任务是读后续写。读后续写是一种将阅读与写作紧密结合的考查形式,旨在考查学生的综合语言运用能力。要求学生在尽可能短的时间内,了解所给材料的核心信息,梳理内容的发展脉络。在读懂材料的基础上,根据所提供的两段的开头语,围绕主题和关键信息进行读写构思,巧妙地预设故事的走向,合理地解决故事中的冲突,最后达到一个完美的结局。
|由教材学写作|
一、学文体架构
本篇课文是Lesson 3中故事的续写,总结框架结构如下:
二、学要点构思
续写故事需要根据原文内容提炼核心信息,把握文章的脉络,了解文章大意。然后遵循原文的故事线索,构思故事发展,解决文章的矛盾冲突,达到情节的升华。如本文续写故事线索如下:
Setting We were taken into the underwater ship.
Characters I, Ned, Conseil, and two seamen.
New plot What we would experience inside the machine.
续表
The development of the story ·We slowly got used to the new environment.
·We were examined carefully.
·We were offered some food and questioned.
Ending We couldn't go home for the moment.
三、学语言风格
1.开篇通过环境描写(如aboard the machine、All was black等)以及人物动作描写(如shook with cold、 could hear、 breathing quickly等)巧妙地衔接原文,使读者身临其境,感受到紧张的气氛。
2.续写中有许多关于情感的描写,如课文中“I could hear Ned and Conseil breathing quickly.They were nervous, too.”表现了人物紧张的心理状态;“‘We will die in this prison!’cried Ned.”表现了人物恐惧的心理状态。
3.采用人物的有效对话以及描述心理活动的方式(如made me realise、 ate in silence、 smiled 等)对故事进行拓展,突出了续写故事的写作特点。
4.状语的恰当使用可以使动作描写更生动,也可以更好地渲染某种氛围,如课文中用“quickly”修饰动词“breathe”,形象地刻画出Ned和Conseil紧张的状态。
5.续写故事中第二段第一句采用比喻的修辞手法,把机器比作“prison”,更加形象地描绘出机器内部的情景,并从侧面刻画出了人物此时压抑的心理状态。
|具体写作指导|
Write a continuation of The Last Leaf
——续写《最后一片叶子》
续写短文多以记叙故事类文章或夹叙夹议类文章为主,线索逻辑强,故事经常曲折跌宕。要求读写并重,阅读需要精确理解,续写需要大胆推断但不能偏离主题。续写步骤如下:
第一步:精读全文,确定线索
精读全文首先要解决好五个W和一个H的问题,即理清人物(who)、地点(where)、时间(when)、事件(what)、原因(why)及怎样发展(how),然后根据关键词理清故事发展的线索。
如根据故事The Last Leaf的基本要素,可梳理故事的线索为:
第二步:构思情节,谋篇布局
以原文结尾为起点,分析两段所给出的首句开头,按照原文中情节发展的逻辑特征,展开尽可能丰富的想象,构思情节发展,预测故事的结局。如根据下面The Last Leaf故事中续写第一、二段的首句可用设问的方式,运用“五所”问题预测情节的发展:
Para.1.Tears came to Johnsy's eyes as she knew what Mr Behrman had done for her.
Q1: What were her feelings?(所感)
Q2: What did she do?(所做)
Q3: What would she say to Mr Behrman?(所说)
Para.2.Ten years later, Johnsy became a famous painter due to her dedication and hard work.
Q1: What would she do when she realized her dream?(所做)
Q2: How did she feel when she remembered the past?(所感)
Q3: What was Mr Behrman's influence on her paintings?(主旨 升华)
第三步:理清逻辑,优化语言
结合原文的写作风格及文中的关键词语拟写草稿。写作手法上以记叙为主,描写上以动作描写为主,情节的发展要合乎逻辑。所续写的内容在主题、人物、线索及语言风格上要与原文保持一致,表现为上下文衔接自然,前后情节互相照应。
第四步:巧用多种写作手法
作为记叙文的一种辅助表达方式,细节描写对加强文章的表现力发挥着重要的作用,因此,要善于捕捉细节、刻画细节。有时还可以使用比喻、拟人、夸张等修辞手法。此外,议论、抒情的表达方式对记叙文主题的展现也发挥着重要作用。
第五步:构织画面,合理收尾
后续结果要体现出把握现在、展望未来,结尾应该是积极向上的。无论续写的内容多么曲折离奇、惊心动魄,在结尾部分一定要表达积极、乐观的态度。
[针对练笔]
试根据The Last Leaf内容的分析和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。续写词数应为150个左右。
Tears came to Johnsy's eyes as she knew what Mr Behrman had done for her._________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________
Ten years later, Johnsy became a famous painter due to her dedication and hard work. ______________________________________ ____________________________________________________________
参考范文:
Tears came to Johnsy's eyes as she knew what Mr Behrman had done for her.Johnsy was very moved by the selfless act of her neighbor, Mr Behrman, and felt a mixture of gratitude and regret.She gently stroked the brushstrokes of the last ivy leaf, which she now knew was Behrman's masterpiece, only to inspire her to keep fighting.With a heavy heart, Johnsy wished she could thank Behrman in person, eager to tell him how his selfless act had changed the course of her life forever.
Ten years later, Johnsy became a famous painter due to her dedication and hard work.Inspired by Behrman's faith in her and his sacrifice, Johnsy threw herself into her art with vigor.While she was proud of her accomplishments, she couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness that Behrman didn't live to see the fruits of his sacrifice.Johnsy's paintings often capture themes of sacrifice, perseverance and the strength of the human spirit, all of which are deeply influenced by Behrman's lasting impact on her life.
|写作素材储备|
(一)表达紧张、恐惧的常用续写佳句
1.As he squeezed my hand tightly, I got butterflies in my stomach.
他紧紧抓住我的手时,我非常紧张。
2.He waited with bated breath for the test results.
他屏住呼吸等待考试结果。
3.Numb with a blank mind, they couldn't let out a scream anymore with palms sweating.
由于头脑一片空白,他们再也发不出声并且手掌一直出汗。
4.His blood ran cold when the phone rang.
电话铃响起时,他非常害怕。
5.You shouldn't have done that.My heart skipped a beat.
你不该那么做的,我吓得心跳都漏了一拍。
6.I lay there quivering with fear.
我躺在那里害怕得发抖。
7.Frozen with fear, he was too scared to move an inch.
他吓得僵住了,一动也不敢动。
8.I was almost scared to death when there were intermittent footsteps outside the window.
当窗外出现断断续续的脚步声时,我差点吓死了。
9.She trembled all over, feeling like sitting on pins and needles.
她浑身颤抖,如坐针毡。
10.My face turned pale and I stood there tongue-tied.
我脸色苍白,站在那儿舌头都打结了。
(二)表达哀伤的常用续写佳句
1.In the silence of the night, as the stars twinkled above, he felt the weight of his loneliness press upon his heart.
在夜色的寂静中,星星闪烁着,他感到孤独的重压挤压在心头。
2.She spoke softly, her voice heavy with sorrow, as if carrying the burden of endless pain.
她轻声细语,声音中充满沉重的悲伤,就像背负着无尽的痛苦。
3.There were tears in her eyes, but her voice was steady.
她眼里含着泪水,但声音依然很稳定。
4.I was seized with sadness.
我伤心欲绝。
5.A flash of grief came upon me.
一阵悲伤袭身而来。
6.His lip started to tremble and then he started to cry.
他的嘴唇开始颤抖,然后哭了起来。
(三)表达感谢的常用续写佳句
1.I am forever grateful for your kindness and support.
我永远感激你的好意和支持。
2.Your generosity has touched my heart deeply.I cannot thank you enough.
你的慷慨深深地打动了我的心。我对你感激不尽。
3.I am indebted to you for your selfless assistance.Your help means the world to me.
我很感激你无私的帮助。你的帮助对我意义重大。
4.Words cannot express how much I appreciate all that you have done for me.
言语无法表达我对你为我所做的一切的感激之情。
5.I am truly grateful for your time, patience, and guidance.
我真的很感激你的时间、耐心和指导。
03
课时检测
(标 语篇配有教师讲评课件)
Ⅰ.靓表达升级(共5空,10分)
1.The young man sent me a letter.He said that he once gave me a phone and told me of James dying in a car crash.(现在分词短语作伴随状语)
→The young man sent me a letter, ___________ he once gave me a phone, _______________________________________.
saying that
telling me of James dying in a car crash
2.She figured I didn't have time for dinner, so she bought me a bag of food with her own money.The money was earned by babysitting.(过去分词短语作定语)
→She figured I didn't have time for dinner, so she bought me a bag of food with her own money _____________________.
3.A famous film is being shown these days.Its purpose is to save the earth and protect our common home.(升级为定语从句)
→A famous film, _______________________________________ _________________________, is being shown these days.
earned by babysitting
whose purpose is to save the earth and
protect our common home
4.He was affected with a serious disease and was no longer able to speak clearly and he knew there was no hope for recovery.(过去分词短语作状语)
→_____________________________, he was no longer able to speak clearly and he knew there was no hope for recovery.
Affected with a serious disease
Ⅱ.微语境写作(共13空,26分)
1.The police ①_______ (抓住) him fast, but at this moment, they saw the old man ②_______ (躺) there near the porter.When the couple ③________ (抵达), they recognized the old man was the porter who they ④__________ (要求) delivery for them.
2.Therefore, he ⑤____________________ (重新开始了他的旅行).When he ⑥_________ (感到疲惫), he looked up and saw a tall tree ⑦_______________ (在他面前), just like the tree he was once against.
seized
lying
arrived
asked for
restarted his journey
felt tired
in front of him
3.As soon as the family and her friends saw her standing ⑧_______________________ (在森林的边缘), they ⑨_____________ _________(禁不住跳起来).The father approached her and ⑩______ ____________ (紧紧拥抱她), afraid that she would disappear again.
4.The three girls came near the three animals, and they ⑪______________________ (仔细地观察它们).They found the cat ⑫____________________ (正在摇头), the fish ⑬__________________ (正在摇尾巴), but the dog was looking at them.
at the edge of the forest
couldn't help
jumping
hugged
her tightly
watched them carefully
was shaking its head
was waving its tail
Ⅲ.应用文写作(15分)( )
假定你是李华,你的新西兰笔友Bob给你发来邮件说他对中国文化很感兴趣,尤其喜欢唐诗(Tang poetry)。请你给他回复一封邮件,分享你对唐诗的了解,提出学习建议并表达祝愿。内容包括:
1.唐诗的地位及影响;
2.列举著名诗人;
3.欢迎来中国交流文化。
注意:1.写作词数应为80个左右;
2.请按如下格式作答。
Dear Bob,
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
Yours,
Li Hua
参考范文:
Dear Bob,
I'm very glad to know that you're interested in Chinese culture, especially Tang poetry.As you know, Tang poetry is a very important literary form which enjoys great popularity in China.Tang poems represent the traditional Chinese culture and are popular all over the world.
As the golden age of poems, the Tang Dynasty produced many outstanding poets, among whom Li Bai, Du Fu, and Bai Juyi were the most well-known in history.When it comes to poems, you'd better grasp the meaning firstly, and then try to recite the whole poem.If you choose the right method and work hard, your learning ability can be improved.
Welcome to China and I'm looking forward to your view about the Tang poetry.
Yours,
Li Hua
Ⅳ.读后续写(25分)( )
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
I looked up from my desk to see the teacher writing on the board: “Battle of the Books!” She smiled and said, “This time it's a teamwork.You're going to be in teams of two, and set a reading goal.Every team that meets their goal by the end of the month will get a prize!” The lunch bell sounded before she could explain any more rules.
As I gathered my things, Liya passed my desk and said, “Teammates?” Since Liya and I shared the same interest in graphic novel (漫画小说), and we took Hindi language class together, we teamed up automatically.I was both relieved and excited to have my team.Then we got to the cafeteria and quickly threw out a bunch of ideas of what to do at our table.
I looked to our third friend Kash, with whom the three of us always do stuff together, “Kash, do you have ideas for us?” “Why would I give you guys ideas?” he said gloomily (阴沉地).“I'll save that for my team ...whoever that is.Now I see how I rank in the friendship lineup.” Kash replied in an angry tone.
I knew he was mad for a reason.If I were him, not only would I think that I ranked last in that group, but I'd also be panicking about what team I could join.But now, I was on the inside and Kash wasn't.
I felt like the only way to fix this would be three people on a team.So, as the teacher walked by our table, I asked for her permission.What surprised me was that she had intended to draw names to assign random groups, but didn't get a chance to say it before lunch.
Awkward and frustrated, we were stuck in this dilemma.Having first teamed up without Kash didn't mean we didn't like him.I knew we — especially I — wouldn't be able to enjoy any prize if our friend felt bad about being left out.So, I decided to do something to make it up for him and convince Kash he was an equal friend.
注意:1.续写词数应为150个左右;
2.请按如下格式作答。
That night, I was struck by an idea as I read a graphic novel that all three of us liked.______________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________
The next day, I handed my pages of apology to Kash. ____________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
参考范文:
That night, I was struck by an idea as I read a graphic novel that all three of us liked.Thrilled and inspired, I sprang in front of my desk, racked my brains and started drawing a few scenes of three of us giggling, chattering and enjoying each other's company like we usually did.On the last page, I wrote, “Dear Kash, you are not the one left behind.Liya and I are so sorry about the way we messed things up.” Pierced to the heart with guilt, I cautiously tucked the paintings into an envelope, hoping this would be an icebreaker.
The next day, I handed my pages of apology to Kash.He took it, looking surprised at the first sight.After he read it, an expression of intense joy illuminated his eyes.Blushed, I broke the silence, “I'm sorry.We should have talked to you.” With her eyes fixed on the floor, Liya came over and apologized in a low voice, “You mean a lot to us.” Hearing her words, Kash shook his head and beamed, “I was way too sensitive.” We exchanged a knowing smile, realizing that sincerity, trust and communication were always the key to clearing up the misunderstanding between friends.
本课结束
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