内容正文:
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
The winter wind blew strongly outside. I stood in front of our small house, feeling very cold. I was wearing an old jacket with several small holes in the sleeves. For almost an hour, I had been thinking hard about what I could give Mom for her birthday. However, I still had no good idea. I let out a long sigh. Even if I found a perfect gift, I had no money to pay for it.
Five years ago, my dad passed away. Since then, Mom had taken care of me all by herself. She worked long hours in a supermarket every day. She was always tired when she came back home, but she never complained. The money she made was just enough for our food and daily life. Every time I saw Mom’s tired but gentle smile, my heart was filled with thanks. I really wanted to give her a special gift to show my love.
I walked slowly to the street with my head down. I looked through the windows of different shops. There were beautiful cards, lovely cups and soft scarves. All of them looked nice, but I knew I could not afford any of them. My eyes became wet as I kept walking. I felt so sad and helpless. It was getting dark, and I had to turn back home.
On the way back, I passed Mrs. Green’s house. She was an old kind lady living next to us. I saw her picking up fallen leaves in the yard alone. She looked weak and it was difficult for her to finish the work. I walked up to her and asked if I could help her. She agreed.
I worked hard to clean up the leaves and tidy the yard. Although I felt a little tired, I kept working until everything was clean and tidy. When I finished, Mrs. Green took out ten dollars from her pocket and gave it to me. She said it was a little reward for my help. At first, I did not want to take it, but she insisted. Finally, I thanked her and took the money carefully.
注意:续写词数应为150左右,请按如下格式作答。
At once, I ran to a shop nearby.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
On my way home, I held the gloves close to my chest.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
一、文本分析
1.角色:
_________________________________________________________________
2.视角:
第__________________________人称视角
3.时空线:
冬日里,“我”因没钱给独自抚养自己的妈妈买生日礼物而烦恼→ 爸爸去世五年,妈妈在超市长时间工作,辛苦赚钱维持生计,“我”心怀感恩,渴望送妈妈一份特别的礼物→ “我”在街上闲逛,看着商店里的礼物却无力购买,伤心无助地准备回家→ 回家路上,“我”主动帮助邻居格林太太清理院子,得到十美元报酬→ (续写)“我”拿着钱跑到附近商店,为妈妈挑选生日礼物→ (续写)_____________________
4.文章线索
(1)“十美元报酬”是核心线索,这一线索对情节发展有何作用?如何推动人物情感变化及主题凸显?
(2)“我”的前后情感转变是关键情节,这一情节为何能强化“亲情与善意”的主题?如何塑造“我”的人物形象?
(3)“我”为没钱买礼物的烦恼、帮助格林太太的真诚、得到报酬后的喜悦、为妈妈选礼物的用心,这些细节有何意义?它们为后续“妈妈感动”做了怎样的铺垫?
(4)故事的情节推进逻辑是什么?从“烦恼无钱买礼物—渴望感恩妈妈—无助回家—帮助他人获报酬—购买礼物—表达爱意”,情节发展背后凸显了怎样的主题脉络?
5.情节线
烦恼无助:冬日里,“我”穿着有破洞的旧夹克,在屋外苦思冥想妈妈的生日礼物,却因没钱而一筹莫展,内心充满烦恼与无助→ 心怀感恩:爸爸去世五年,妈妈独自抚养“我”,每天在超市长时间工作,疲惫却从不抱怨,赚钱仅够维持生计,“我”十分感恩,渴望送妈妈一份特别的礼物表达爱意→ 失望而归:“我”走到街上,看着商店里的精美礼物,却因没钱无法购买,伤心落泪,天黑后只能无奈回家→ 获得报酬:回家路上,“我”看到邻居格林太太独自清理院子,主动帮忙,完工后得到格林太太十美元的报酬,小心翼翼收下→ 选购礼物:(续写)“我”立刻跑到附近商店,精心为妈妈挑选合适的生日礼物,内心充满期待→ (续写)
______________________________________________________________
6.情感线
“我”:因没钱给妈妈买礼物的烦恼、无助→ 对妈妈独自抚养自己的感恩、心疼,渴望表达爱意的迫切→ 看到礼物却买不起的伤心、失落→ 帮助格林太太时的真诚、认真→ 得到报酬后的惊喜、激动→ 为妈妈选礼物的用心、期待→ ______________________________
妈妈:独自抚养“我”的坚韧、辛苦,对“我”的疼爱与包容,从不抱怨生活的艰难→ ___________________________
格林太太:善良、温和、热心,看出“我”的真诚,用报酬的方式给予“我”帮助与鼓励,展现了邻里间的温暖与善意。
7.文章大意概括
中文:
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
英文:
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
8.句式示例
宾语从句:
同位语:
状语从句:
比喻:
9.主题归类
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
二、情节构造
第一段提示句:At once, I ran to a shop nearby.
衔接句 1—— 对 “互动场景与情感转折” 提问:“我”在商店里看到了什么?如何挑选礼物?挑选礼物时“我”的心理活动是什么?这一过程展现了“我”怎样的性格特点?
衔接句 2—— 对 “第一段的过渡意义” 提问:第一段如何为后文“回家送礼物、妈妈感动”做铺垫?“我”挑选礼物的过程有何核心作用?
过渡逻辑:请说明第一段情节如何为第二段的 “情感升华、主题凸显” 做铺垫:__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
第二段提示句:On my way home, I held the gloves close to my chest.
衔接句 1—— 对 “互动场景与情感回升” 提问:“我”回家的路上有怎样的心理变化?“我”把礼物送给妈妈时,妈妈的反应是什么?这些互动体现了“我”和妈妈怎样的品质?
衔接句 2—— 对 “情节结局与主题升华” 提问:结局如何呼应“亲情与善意、感恩与温暖”的核心主题?对故事结局有何作用?
主题:
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
三、段落构思
第一段:At once, I ran to a shop nearby.
梳理第一段写作思路:①开篇承接提示句,描写“我”跑向商店的急切心情;②刻画商店里的礼物,以及“我”挑选礼物的过程、心理活动;③点明“我”最终选好的礼物,为后文送礼物做铺垫。
续写:
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
第二段:On my way home, I held the gloves close to my chest.
梳理第二段写作思路:①开篇承接提示句,描写“我”回家路上的心理活动,突出对妈妈的期待与爱意;②刻画“我”送礼物给妈妈的场景,以及妈妈的神态、动作和反应;③点明结局,凸显亲情的温暖,呼应前文的感恩与善意,升华主题。
续写:
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
参考答案
一、文本分析
1.角色:
“我”,妈妈,格林太太
2.视角:
第一人称视角
3.时空线:
冬日里,“我”因没钱给独自抚养自己的妈妈买生日礼物而烦恼→ 爸爸去世五年,妈妈在超市长时间工作,辛苦赚钱维持生计,“我”心怀感恩,渴望送妈妈一份特别的礼物→ “我”在街上闲逛,看着商店里的礼物却无力购买,伤心无助地准备回家→ 回家路上,“我”主动帮助邻居格林太太清理院子,得到十美元报酬→ (续写)“我”拿着钱立刻跑到附近商店,精心挑选了一双温暖的红手套作为妈妈的生日礼物,内心充满期待→ (续写)“我”怀揣手套回家,将礼物送给妈妈,妈妈深受感动,母子俩紧紧相拥,寒冷的冬日因这份亲情与善意变得温暖。
4.文章线索
(1)“十美元报酬”是核心线索,串联起“我”“烦恼无钱买礼物—帮助邻居获报酬—选购礼物—送礼物表爱意”的完整情节链,是推动情节发展的关键。它解决了“我”没钱买礼物的困境,触发了“我”的情感转折,让“我”从无助伤心变得喜悦期待;同时,这一线索也串联起邻里善意与母子亲情,凸显了“善意能成就美好,亲情能温暖寒冬”的主题,让情节更连贯,情感更真挚。
(2)“我”的前后情感转变是关键情节,既展现了“我”因没钱买礼物的无助与烦恼,也展现了帮助他人后的真诚、获得报酬的惊喜,以及为妈妈选礼物、送礼物的期待与喜悦,反衬出亲情与善意的温暖力量,让“感恩亲情、传递善意”的主题具象化。这一情节塑造了“我”立体的人物形象——从懂事感恩到无助失落,再到惊喜期待,展现了“我”内心对妈妈的深爱和对温暖的传递,让人物更真实、更贴近生活,也让读者更能感受到亲情与善意的力量。
(3)意义:“我”为没钱买礼物的烦恼,交代了“我”对妈妈的感恩与爱意,为后文“主动帮助邻居、努力获得报酬”做铺垫;“帮助格林太太的真诚”,展现了“我”的善良,也为格林太太给予报酬提供了合理理由;“得到报酬后的喜悦”,推动了“选购礼物”的情节发展;“为妈妈选礼物的用心”,凸显了“我”对妈妈的疼爱,为后文“妈妈感动”做铺垫。铺垫:这些细节构建了“烦恼—感恩—无助—善意—惊喜—温暖”的逻辑链,让“我”的情感变化和情节发展更自然,也让母子亲情和邻里善意的主题更具感染力,为后续的主题升华奠定了情感基础。
(4)情节推进逻辑:以“我”为妈妈准备生日礼物的经历为内在线索,以“十美元报酬”为外在线索,遵循“我”“因没钱买礼物而烦恼—心怀感恩渴望表达爱意—无力购买礼物而失落—帮助邻居获得报酬—精心选购礼物—送给妈妈表达爱意—母子相拥感受温暖”的逻辑推进。主题脉络:凸显了“亲情是世间最温暖的力量,懂得感恩、用行动表达爱意,能温暖彼此;邻里间的善意能相互成就,微小的帮助能带来大大的美好;平凡生活中的小温暖,能驱散寒冷、治愈人心”的主题脉络。
5.情节线
烦恼无助:冬日里,“我”穿着有破洞的旧夹克,在屋外苦思冥想妈妈的生日礼物,却因没钱而一筹莫展,内心充满烦恼与无助→ 心怀感恩:爸爸去世五年,妈妈独自抚养“我”,每天在超市长时间工作,疲惫却从不抱怨,赚钱仅够维持生计,“我”十分感恩,渴望送妈妈一份特别的礼物表达爱意→ 失望而归:“我”走到街上,看着商店里的精美礼物,却因没钱无法购买,伤心落泪,天黑后只能无奈回家→ 获得报酬:回家路上,“我”看到邻居格林太太独自清理院子,主动帮忙,完工后得到格林太太十美元的报酬,小心翼翼收下→ 选购礼物:(续写)“我”立刻跑到附近商店,目光锁定了一双温暖的红手套,想起妈妈因长时间工作而干裂冰冷的手,确认价格正好十美元后,兴奋地买下礼物,内心充满期待→ (续写)传递爱意:“我”怀揣手套快步回家,看到妈妈正在厨房忙碌,双手冻得通红,便把礼物送给妈妈,妈妈深受感动,戴上手套紧紧拥抱“我”,母子俩在寒冷的冬日里感受到了浓浓的温暖与幸福。
6.情感线
“我”:因没钱给妈妈买生日礼物而烦恼、无助,内心充满愧疚→ 想到妈妈独自抚养自己的辛苦,心生感恩,迫切希望用礼物表达爱意→ 看到商店里的礼物却买不起,感到伤心、失落→ 主动帮助格林太太时,内心真诚、认真,不图回报→ 得到十美元报酬后,惊喜、激动,立刻想到为妈妈买礼物→ 挑选礼物时,用心、细心,满是期待→ 把礼物送给妈妈,看到妈妈感动的样子,内心充满幸福与温暖,体会到爱意的力量。
妈妈:独自抚养“我”的坚韧、辛苦,面对生活的艰难从不抱怨,始终温柔地疼爱“我”→ 收到“我”送的礼物时,惊讶、感动,感受到孩子的懂事与爱意,内心充满温暖与幸福,所有的辛苦都化为欣慰。
格林太太:温和、善良、细心,看到“我”的真诚与懂事,主动用报酬的方式帮助“我”,既照顾了“我”的自尊心,又成全了“我”的心愿,内心充满善意与包容,乐于传递温暖。
7.文章大意概括
中文:冬日里,“我”因没钱给独自抚养自己的妈妈买生日礼物而烦恼。爸爸去世五年,妈妈每天在超市长时间工作,辛苦赚钱维持生计,“我”十分感恩,渴望送她一份特别的礼物。“我”在街上看到很多精美礼物,却无力购买,只能伤心地回家。回家路上,“我”主动帮助邻居格林太太清理院子,得到了十美元报酬。“我”立刻跑到附近商店,买了一双温暖的红手套作为妈妈的生日礼物。回家后,“我”把礼物送给妈妈,妈妈深受感动,紧紧拥抱“我”,寒冷的冬日因这份浓浓的亲情与邻里善意变得格外温暖。
英文:The winter wind blew strongly, and I was worried because I had no money to buy a birthday gift for Mom, who had taken care of me alone since Dad passed away five years ago. Mom worked long hours in a supermarket every day to support our life, and I was grateful to her and eager to give her a special gift. I walked along the street, looking at the beautiful gifts in the shops, but I couldn’t afford any of them, so I went home sadly. On the way back, I helped my neighbor Mrs. Green clean her yard and got ten dollars as a reward. At once, I ran to a nearby shop and bought a pair of warm red gloves for Mom. When I gave the gift to her, Mom was deeply moved and hugged me tightly. The cold winter was warmed by the deep family love and the kindness from the neighbor.
8.句式示例
宾语从句:I asked if I could help her.
同位语:I really wanted to give her a special gift — a gift to show my love.
状语从句:Although I felt a little tired, I kept working until everything was clean and tidy.
比喻:At that moment, I knew that even a small gift made with love could warm the coldest winter.
9.主题归类
亲情与感恩:亲情是世间最温暖的力量,父母的无私付出值得我们珍惜与感恩;用真诚的行动表达爱意,哪怕是一份小小的礼物,也能温暖彼此的心灵,治愈生活的艰辛。
善意与邻里情:邻里之间的真诚相助,能相互成就、传递温暖;微小的善意的举动,既能帮助他人,也能让自己收获幸福,让平凡的生活充满美好。
成长与责任:懂事的孩子懂得体谅父母的辛苦,用自己的方式承担责任、表达爱意;在帮助他人、感恩父母的过程中,我们会慢慢成长,学会珍惜与传递温暖。
二、情节构造
第一段提示句:At once, I ran to a shop nearby.
衔接句 1—— 对 “互动场景与情感转折” 提问:“我”在商店里看到了什么?如何挑选礼物?挑选礼物时“我”的心理活动是什么?这一过程展现了“我”怎样的性格特点?
答案:“我”在商店里看到了各种礼物,最终目光锁定了一双温暖的红手套。“我”想起妈妈长时间在超市工作,双手总是干裂冰冷,便确定这是最适合妈妈的礼物,查看价格发现正好是十美元,就兴奋地付钱买下,还让店主仔细包装好。挑选礼物时,“我”内心充满期待与喜悦,满脑子都是妈妈收到礼物时的笑容。这一过程展现了“我”懂事、细心、孝顺的性格特点——“我”时刻体谅妈妈的辛苦,用心为妈妈挑选礼物,用自己的方式表达爱意,凸显了“我”对妈妈的深爱。
衔接句 2—— 对 “第一段的过渡意义” 提问:第一段如何为后文“回家送礼物、妈妈感动”做铺垫?“我”挑选礼物的过程有何核心作用?
答案:第一段描写“我”急切地跑到商店、精心挑选手套的过程,交代了“我”为妈妈准备的礼物是什么,展现了“我”对妈妈的用心与爱意,为后文“回家送礼物、妈妈感动”提供了具体的场景和情感基础;同时,“我”挑选礼物时的期待与喜悦,与后文妈妈感动的反应相呼应,让情节发展更自然。“我”挑选礼物的过程,核心作用是凸显“我”的孝顺与感恩,让“亲情”这一主题初步显现,也让后文妈妈的感动更具合理性,为主题升华做铺垫。
过渡逻辑:请说明第一段情节如何为第二段的 “情感升华、主题凸显” 做铺垫:
答案:第一段中,“我”精心挑选手套、内心充满期待的状态,为第二段“我”回家送礼物时的急切与真诚做了铺垫;“我”挑选的红手套,是连接“我”与妈妈情感的纽带,为第二段妈妈收到礼物后的感动场景做了铺垫。第一段展现了“我”对妈妈的爱意与用心,让第二段妈妈的感动、母子相拥的温暖场景更具感染力,也让“亲情与温暖”的主题得以升华,凸显了“小小的礼物,浓浓的爱意”这一核心。
第二段提示句:On my way home, I held the gloves close to my chest.
衔接句 1—— 对 “互动场景与情感回升” 提问:“我”回家的路上有怎样的心理变化?“我”把礼物送给妈妈时,妈妈的反应是什么?这些互动体现了“我”和妈妈怎样的品质?
答案:“我”回家路上的心理变化:虽然冬日寒风依旧,但“我”因怀揣给妈妈的礼物而内心温暖,充满期待与紧张,既期待看到妈妈的笑容,又担心妈妈会觉得礼物不够好。“我”把礼物送给妈妈时,轻声说出生日祝福,妈妈先是愣住,随后眼里泛起泪水,接过手套戴上,紧紧拥抱“我”,表达对“我”的感谢。这些互动体现了“我”孝顺、懂事、懂得感恩的品质,也体现了妈妈坚韧、温柔、深爱孩子的品质,母子间的互动传递出浓浓的亲情与温暖。
衔接句 2—— 对 “情节结局与主题升华” 提问:结局如何呼应“亲情与善意、感恩与温暖”的核心主题?对故事结局有何作用?
答案:结局以“我”送妈妈手套、妈妈感动拥抱“我”收尾,呼应了“亲情与感恩”的主题——“我”用自己努力获得的报酬为妈妈准备礼物,表达对妈妈的感恩与爱意,妈妈被孩子的懂事打动,体现了母子间的深厚亲情;同时,也呼应了“善意与温暖”的主题——格林太太的善意帮助,让“我”得以完成心愿,这份邻里善意与母子亲情交织,让寒冷的冬日变得温暖。这一结局为故事画上了温暖圆满的句号,让情节形成了“烦恼—善意—感恩—温暖”的闭环;同时,它将“个体的感恩”与“邻里的善意”结合,让主题更深刻、更具感染力,传递了“懂得感恩、传递善意,就能收获温暖与幸福”的正向价值观。
主题:
答案:亲情是治愈生活艰辛的良药,懂得感恩、用行动表达对父母的爱意,哪怕是一份小小的礼物,也能温暖彼此的心灵;邻里间的善意相助,能相互成就,微小的帮助能带来大大的美好;平凡生活中的温暖与爱意,能驱散寒冷,让我们在艰难的日子里感受到幸福与希望。
三、段落构思
第一段:At once, I ran to a shop nearby.
梳理第一段写作思路:①开篇承接提示句,描写“我”跑向商店的急切心情;②刻画商店里的礼物,以及“我”挑选礼物的过程、心理活动;③点明“我”最终选好的礼物,为后文送礼物做铺垫。
续写:At once, I ran to a shop nearby. My eyes quickly fell on a pair of warm red gloves behind the counter. Mom’s hands were always chapped and cold from working long hours in the supermarket, and I knew this would be the perfect gift for her. I held the gloves gently, checked the price — it was exactly ten dollars. I handed the money to the shopkeeper excitedly, and he wrapped the gloves carefully for me. Looking at the neatly wrapped gift, my heart was filled with joy and expectation, imagining Mom’s smile when she received it.
第二段:On my way home, I held the gloves close to my chest.
梳理第二段写作思路:①开篇承接提示句,描写“我”回家路上的心理活动,突出对妈妈的期待与爱意;②刻画“我”送礼物给妈妈的场景,以及妈妈的神态、动作和反应;③点明结局,凸显亲情的温暖,呼应前文的感恩与善意,升华主题。
续写:On my way home, I held the gloves close to my chest. The winter wind still blew strongly, but I felt warm all over. When I got home, Mom was busy preparing dinner, her hands red from the cold. I walked up to her, took out the gloves and said softly, “Mom, happy birthday. This is for you.” Mom froze for a moment, then took the gloves with tears in her eyes. She put them on and hugged me tightly, saying, “They are perfect, my dear. Thank you so much.” At that moment, I knew that even a small gift made with love could warm the coldest winter.
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