内容正文:
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
I was seventeen, and what I wanted most was a special pair of running shoes, the same kind my favorite athlete wore. They meant speed and freedom to me. But the shoes were very expensive, and my pocket money was only enough for bus tickets and school lunches. They felt like an impossible dream. To solve this, I looked for a part-time job. I noticed that an old neighbor, Mr. Jenkins, who had bad eyesight, needed help with shopping. I bravely asked him if I could help, and he agreed happily, offering to pay me a little for my time.
My first job was on a rainy Saturday. The supermarket was busy and noisy. I had to guide Mr. Jenkins slowly, telling him about the items and prices. It was a test of patience. Carrying the heavy shopping bags made my arms tired. Whenever I felt bored or tired, I would think about the shoes. That thought gave me energy to continue. After a few hours of careful work, Mr. Jenkins paid me. It wasn’t a lot of money, but it was my first step toward buying the shoes. Holding the money, I felt very proud of myself.
I went straight to the sports store, feeling excited. On my way, I passed by a small building site near my home. There, I saw a familiar person — my father. He was working hard, carrying heavy bags of cement (水泥). His clothes were dirty with dust, his gloves were torn, and sweat was on his face. I knew he worked on a building site, but I had never actually seen him doing such tiring work before. Seeing him like that made my heart feel heavy. My dream of buying expensive shoes suddenly seemed less important and a bit selfish.
注意:
1.续写词数应为150左右;
2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
In the sports store, I found the shoes.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________During my father’s break, I went to the building site and gave him the gifts.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
一、文本分析
1.角色:
___________________________________________________________________________
2.视角:第__________________________人称视角
3.时空线:
十七岁的日常(“我”渴望一双和偶像同款的昂贵跑鞋,零花钱不足,梦想看似遥不可及)→ 邻居家/超市(“我”主动给视力不好的詹金斯先生帮忙购物,获得兼职报酬,朝着买鞋目标迈出第一步)→ 去运动商店的路上(“我”路过工地,看到父亲辛苦搬运水泥、衣衫破旧的模样,内心震动,对买鞋的想法产生动摇)→ (续写)运动商店内(“我”找到心仪的跑鞋,却想起父亲的辛劳,改变主意,用兼职钱买了给父亲的礼物)→ (续写)
___________________________(父亲休息时,“我”送上礼物,诉说心声,父子间情感升温,“我”领悟亲情的珍贵)
4.文章线索
(1)“‘我’对跑鞋的渴望”与“看到父亲辛劳后的愧疚”构成核心矛盾,这一矛盾对情节发展有何作用?如何推动人物情感变化及主题凸显?
(2)“看到父亲在工地劳作”是情节的转折点,这一情节为何能强化“亲情与成长”的主题?如何让人物形象更丰满?
“对跑鞋的执念”“主动找兼职的勇气”“兼职时的疲惫与坚持”“看到父亲的震撼”“面对跑鞋的犹豫”“买礼物的坚定”“送礼物的坦诚”这些细节有何意义?它们为后续“心境转变”做了怎样的铺垫?
(4)故事的情节推进逻辑是什么?从“渴望跑鞋—努力兼职—内心动摇—改变主意—感恩亲情”,情节发展背后凸显了怎样的主题脉络?
5.情节线
渴望跑鞋:十七岁的“我”迫切想要一双偶像同款跑鞋,它象征着速度与自由,但鞋子价格昂贵,“我”的零花钱仅够日常开销,买鞋成了不可能的梦想→ 寻找兼职:为了实现梦想,“我”主动向视力不佳的邻居詹金斯先生提出帮忙购物,对方欣然同意并愿意支付报酬→ 首次兼职:一个雨天的周六,“我”陪詹金斯先生去超市,耐心引导、告知商品价格,扛重物虽疲惫,但一想到跑鞋就充满动力,拿到第一笔报酬后倍感自豪→ 内心动摇:“我”兴奋地前往运动商店,途中路过工地,看到父亲搬运水泥、衣衫破旧、满头大汗的模样,从未见过父亲如此辛劳的“我”内心沉重,买鞋的梦想变得渺小且自私→ (续写)改变主意:在运动商店,“我”顺利找到心仪的跑鞋,却始终浮现父亲劳作的身影,最终放弃买鞋,用兼职钱买了父亲需要的手套和一瓶冰饮→ (续写)
______________________________________________________________
6.情感线
“我”:对跑鞋的渴望、执着→ 找兼职时的忐忑、勇敢→ 兼职中的疲惫、坚定→ 拿到报酬的自豪、兴奋→ 看到父亲后的震撼、愧疚→ 面对跑鞋的犹豫、纠结→ 改变主意后的释然、坚定→ 送礼物时的坦诚、动容→ ______________________________
父亲:劳作时的疲惫、坚韧→ 收到礼物后的惊讶、欣慰→ 得知真相后的感动、温柔→ ___________________________
詹金斯先生:对“我”的信任、友善→ 支付报酬时的大方、认可→ 间接促成“我”的成长。
7.文章大意概括
中文:
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
英文:
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
8.句式示例
宾语从句:
同位语:
状语从句:
比喻:
9.主题归类
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
二、情节构造
第一段提示句:In the sports store, I found the shoes.
衔接句 1—— 对 “看到跑鞋的反应与内心挣扎” 提问:“我”看到跑鞋后有哪些表现(驻足凝视、触摸等)?内心如何在“买鞋”与“体谅父亲”间挣扎?
衔接句 2—— 对 “第一段的过渡意义” 提问:“我”最终做出了怎样的决定?这一情节如何为“给父亲送礼物”做铺垫?
过渡逻辑:请说明第一段情节如何为第二段的 “父子互动与情感升华” 做铺垫:__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
第二段提示句:During my father’s break, I went to the building site and gave him the gifts.
衔接句 1—— 对 “送礼物的场景与对话” 提问:父亲收到礼物后的神态、动作如何?“我”会对父亲说些什么(倾诉想法、表达愧疚与关心)?
衔接句 2—— 对 “情节结局与主题升华” 提问:父亲的回应是怎样的?“我”从这件事中有了怎样的成长感悟?如何呼应“亲情与成长”的核心主题?
主题:
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
三、段落构思
第一段:In the sports store, I found the shoes.
梳理第一段写作思路:①开篇承接提示句,描写跑鞋的模样及“我”的本能渴望;②刻画内心挣扎,父亲辛劳的身影反复浮现,对比跑鞋与父亲的付出,产生愧疚感;③描写“我”的决定,放弃买鞋,用兼职钱买适合父亲的礼物,体现心境转变。
续写:
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
第二段:During my father’s break, I went to the building site and gave him the gifts.
梳理第二段写作思路:①开篇承接提示句,描写工地场景及父亲看到“我”的惊讶;②刻画送礼物的细节,“我”坦诚内心想法,表达对父亲的体谅;③描写父亲的反应与回应,传递亲情温暖,收尾点明成长感悟,升华主题。
续写:
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
参考答案
一、文本分析
1.角色:
“我”:十七岁的少年,有明确的梦想,为了实现目标能主动付出努力、坚持兼职,展现出懂事与毅力;看到父亲辛劳后能及时反思,放弃自私的物质渴望,转而关心父亲,体现出内心的善良、孝顺与成长型思维,最终在亲情中领悟生命的真谛。
父亲:勤劳坚韧、默默付出的劳动者,为了家庭在工地从事繁重工作,不畏艰辛、任劳任怨;面对孩子的礼物与坦诚,流露出发自内心的欣慰与温柔,不善言辞却饱含对孩子的爱,是孩子成长的无声榜样。
詹金斯先生:善良友善、乐于助人的老人,信任并给“我”提供兼职机会,不仅让“我”获得报酬,更间接促成了“我”通过劳动感悟亲情的过程,是推动情节发展的辅助角色。
2.视角:第一人称视角
以“我”的内心活动与心境转变为核心,细腻展现从“执着于物质梦想”到“体谅父亲辛劳”,再到“主动感恩亲情”的全过程,精准传递渴望、坚定、震撼、愧疚、释然、感动等复杂情绪,让读者深度共情,强化“亲情与成长”的主题感染力。
3.时空线:
十七岁的日常(“我”渴望一双和偶像同款的昂贵跑鞋,零花钱不足,梦想看似遥不可及)→ 邻居家/超市(“我”主动给视力不好的詹金斯先生帮忙购物,获得兼职报酬,朝着买鞋目标迈出第一步)→ 去运动商店的路上(“我”路过工地,看到父亲辛苦搬运水泥、衣衫破旧的模样,内心震动,对买鞋的想法产生动摇)→ (续写)运动商店内(“我”找到心仪的跑鞋,驻足凝视却难掩愧疚,最终放弃买鞋,用兼职钱买了耐磨手套和冰饮)→ (续写)工地(父亲休息时,“我”送上礼物,坦诚原本想买跑鞋的想法及看到他辛劳后的转变,父亲欣慰感动,“我”领悟到亲情的珍贵远超物质)
4.文章线索
(1)“‘我’对跑鞋的渴望”与“看到父亲辛劳后的愧疚”构成核心矛盾,这一矛盾对情节发展有何作用?如何推动人物情感变化及主题凸显?
答案:作用:这一核心矛盾是情节发展的核心驱动力,串联起“兼职攒钱—内心动摇—改变主意—感恩亲情”的情节节点,制造强烈的情感张力,让读者持续关注“我”的选择与成长。推动情感变化:矛盾让“我”的情绪从对跑鞋的执着渴望、拿到报酬的兴奋自豪,瞬间转为看到父亲后的震撼愧疚,再到面对跑鞋时的犹豫纠结,最终沉淀为放弃买鞋、感恩父亲的释然坚定,形成完整的情感曲线,清晰展现“我”的心境蜕变。凸显主题:通过“物质梦想”与“亲情温暖”的对比,凸显出亲情在成长中的重要意义,让“学会体谅、懂得感恩”的主题更具说服力。
(2)“看到父亲在工地劳作”是情节的转折点,这一情节为何能强化“亲情与成长”的主题?如何让人物形象更丰满?
答案:强化主题:这一转折打破了“为买跑鞋努力兼职”的单一主线,让“我”从专注于个人物质需求,转向关注父亲的默默付出,开启了“体谅亲情、实现成长”的核心情节,为后续放弃买鞋、感恩父亲提供了情感根源,让“亲情滋养成长”的主题更具深度。让人物形象更丰满:此前“我”只是一个有梦想、能努力的少年,而看到父亲劳作后的反思与转变,让“我”多了孝顺、懂事、善于反思的特质;同时,父亲的辛劳身影也从模糊的“工作者”具象为“为家庭默默付出的守护者”,让父子二人的形象都更立体真实,充满温度。
(3)“对跑鞋的执念”“主动找兼职的勇气”“兼职时的疲惫与坚持”“看到父亲的震撼”“面对跑鞋的犹豫”“买礼物的坚定”“送礼物的坦诚”这些细节有何意义?它们为后续“心境转变”做了怎样的铺垫?
答案:意义:“对跑鞋的执念”交代了“我”兼职的初衷,凸显梦想的吸引力;“主动找兼职的勇气”“兼职时的疲惫与坚持”展现“我”的毅力与懂事,为后续转变积累正向形象;“看到父亲的震撼”是心境转变的触发点,打破固有认知;“面对跑鞋的犹豫”展现内心挣扎,让转变更真实;“买礼物的坚定”“送礼物的坦诚”是转变的落地,体现成长的质变。铺垫:这些细节形成“渴望—努力—动摇—抉择—感恩”的逻辑链,既让“我”的心境转变有迹可循、不突兀,又层层递进地凸显出亲情对成长的引导作用,为最终“领悟亲情珍贵”的结局做好情感与逻辑铺垫。
(4)故事的情节推进逻辑是什么?从“渴望跑鞋—努力兼职—内心动摇—改变主意—感恩亲情”,情节发展背后凸显了怎样的主题脉络?
答案:情节推进逻辑:以“一双跑鞋”为线索,遵循“‘物质渴望—付出行动—认知冲击—价值重构—情感升华’”的逻辑推进,从“我”执着于跑鞋的梦想,到通过兼职努力靠近目标,再到因目睹父亲辛劳而重构价值认知,最终放弃物质、拥抱亲情,形成完整的故事闭环。主题脉络:凸显了“‘成长是学会从执着自我到体谅他人,亲情的温暖与付出,远比物质梦想更值得珍惜’”的主题脉络。从“我”只为满足个人渴望而努力,到懂得体谅父亲的辛劳、感恩父亲的付出,传递出“真正的成长,是打破自私的执念,学会珍惜身边默默守护的亲情”的价值观。
5.情节线
渴望跑鞋:十七岁的“我”迫切想要一双偶像同款跑鞋,它象征着速度与自由,但鞋子价格昂贵,“我”的零花钱仅够日常开销,买鞋成了不可能的梦想→ 寻找兼职:为了实现梦想,“我”主动向视力不佳的邻居詹金斯先生提出帮忙购物,对方欣然同意并愿意支付报酬→ 首次兼职:一个雨天的周六,“我”陪詹金斯先生去超市,耐心引导、告知商品价格,扛重物虽疲惫,但一想到跑鞋就充满动力,拿到第一笔报酬后倍感自豪→ 内心动摇:“我”兴奋地前往运动商店,途中路过工地,看到父亲搬运水泥、衣衫破旧、满头大汗的模样,从未见过父亲如此辛劳的“我”内心沉重,买鞋的梦想变得渺小且自私→ (续写)改变主意:在运动商店,“我”一眼就看到了那双心仪的跑鞋,黑白配色、质感极佳,和偶像穿的一模一样。我驻足凝视,伸手触摸鞋面,可父亲扛着水泥、汗流浃背的身影反复在脑海中浮现,心中满是愧疚。最终,我转身离开鞋架,用兼职钱买了一副耐磨的工作手套和一瓶冰饮,决定把这份心意送给父亲。→ (续写)感恩亲情:父亲休息时,我拿着礼物走进工地,尘土飞扬中,父亲看到我很是惊讶。我把手套和冰饮递给他,坦诚地说原本想买跑鞋,但看到他辛劳的样子就改变了主意。父亲接过礼物,粗糙的手轻轻摩挲着新手套,眼眶微微泛红,笑着摸了摸我的头,说我长大了。那一刻,我明白,比起昂贵的跑鞋,父亲的笑容与亲情更让我温暖。
6.情感线
“我”:对跑鞋的渴望、执着→ 找兼职时的忐忑、勇敢→ 兼职中的疲惫、坚定→ 拿到报酬的自豪、兴奋→ 看到父亲后的震撼、愧疚→ 面对跑鞋的犹豫、纠结→ 改变主意后的释然、坚定→ 送礼物时的坦诚、动容→ 领悟亲情后的温暖、满足。
父亲:劳作时的疲惫、坚韧→ 收到礼物后的惊讶、欣慰→ 得知真相后的感动、温柔→ 对孩子成长的自豪、欣慰。
詹金斯先生:对“我”的信任、友善→ 支付报酬时的大方、认可→ 对“我”劳动的肯定与鼓励。
7.文章大意概括
中文:十七岁的“我”渴望一双和偶像同款的昂贵跑鞋,因零花钱不足,主动向视力不好的邻居詹金斯先生提出帮忙购物,赚取兼职报酬。一个雨天,“我”顺利完成首次兼职,拿到报酬后兴奋地前往运动商店买鞋。途中路过工地,“我”看到父亲搬运水泥、衣衫破旧、满头大汗的辛劳模样,内心深受震撼,觉得买昂贵跑鞋的想法既渺小又自私。在运动商店,“我”找到心仪的跑鞋,却始终无法释怀父亲的付出,最终放弃买鞋,用兼职钱买了耐磨手套和冰饮。父亲休息时,“我”送到工地,坦诚内心想法,父亲欣慰感动,“我”也深刻领悟到,亲情的珍贵远超物质梦想,自己也在这个过程中学会了体谅与感恩,实现了成长。
英文:At seventeen, I longed for a special pair of running shoes worn by my favorite athlete, but they were too expensive for me. To buy them, I took a part-time job helping my nearsighted neighbor Mr. Jenkins with shopping. On a rainy Saturday, I finished my first job, got paid, and rushed to the sports store excitedly. On the way, I passed a construction site and saw my father working hard, carrying heavy cement with dirty clothes and sweat on his face. Seeing him so tired, I felt guilty, and my desire for the shoes faded. In the store, I found the shoes but couldn’t bear to buy them. Instead, I bought a pair of durable gloves and an iced drink for my father. During his break, I gave him the gifts and told him the truth. My father was moved and proud of me. I realized that family love is far more precious than material desires, and I grew up in that moment.
8.句式示例
宾语从句:I knew he worked on a building site, but I had never actually seen him doing such tiring work before.
同位语:My first job, helping Mr. Jenkins with shopping on a rainy Saturday, taught me patience and the value of labor.(短语补充说明工作内容,相当于同位语功能)
状语从句:Whenever I felt bored or tired, I would think about the shoes to cheer myself up.(时间状语从句)
比喻:The pair of running shoes was once a bright star in my heart, but my father’s love turned out to be the warm sun that guided me to grow.
9.主题归类
亲情与感恩:父亲的默默付出是亲情最朴素的表达,学会体谅父亲的辛劳、主动感恩,是成长路上最重要的课题;亲情的温暖远比物质追求更能滋养心灵。成长与蜕变:成长不是执着于个人欲望的实现,而是学会从自我视角转向他人,在反思中打破自私的执念,懂得珍惜与担当。劳动与价值:劳动不仅能赚取报酬、靠近梦想,更能让人在付出中感悟生活的艰辛,懂得尊重他人的劳动,重构价值认知。物质与情感:物质梦想虽能带来短暂满足,但真挚的情感(亲情)才是人生中最珍贵、最持久的财富,不应被物质欲望遮蔽。
二、情节构造
第一段提示句:In the sports store, I found the shoes.
衔接句 1—— 对 “看到跑鞋的反应与内心挣扎” 提问:“我”看到跑鞋后有哪些表现(驻足凝视、触摸等)?内心如何在“买鞋”与“体谅父亲”间挣扎?
答案:“我”看到跑鞋后,立刻驻足凝视,眼神中满是渴望,忍不住伸手轻轻触摸鞋面,感受它的质感,和自己想象中的一模一样。内心挣扎激烈:一方面是梦寐以求的跑鞋,是自己辛苦兼职换来的第一笔报酬,距离梦想仅一步之遥;另一方面,父亲在工地扛水泥、汗流浃背的身影反复浮现,一想到父亲的辛劳,就觉得用这笔钱买昂贵跑鞋太过自私,内心满是愧疚,难以抉择。
衔接句 2—— 对 “第一段的过渡意义” 提问:“我”最终做出了怎样的决定?这一情节如何为“给父亲送礼物”做铺垫?
答案:“我”最终放弃了买跑鞋,转身去了超市区域,用兼职钱买了一副适合工地劳作的耐磨手套,还买了一瓶冰饮,想让辛苦的父亲能清凉片刻。这一情节明确了“我”的心境转变,从执着物质转向关心父亲,既呼应了前文看到父亲辛劳后的愧疚,又为第二段“给父亲送礼物”提供了具体载体,让后续的父子互动更具针对性与情感基础。
过渡逻辑:请说明第一段情节如何为第二段的 “父子互动与情感升华” 做铺垫:
答案:第一段通过“放弃跑鞋、购买礼物”的决定,完成了“我”从“自我渴望”到“体谅父亲”的心境蜕变,为第二段的情感表达奠定了基调;同时,购买的手套与冰饮是父子互动的具体媒介,让“我”的关心不再是空泛的话语,而是具象的行动;此外,“我”内心的愧疚与坚定,也让第二段向父亲坦诚想法时的对话更显真挚,为父子间情感共鸣、主题升华做好了充分铺垫。
第二段提示句:During my father’s break, I went to the building site and gave him the gifts.
衔接句 1—— 对 “送礼物的场景与对话” 提问:父亲收到礼物后的神态、动作如何?“我”会对父亲说些什么(倾诉想法、表达愧疚与关心)?
答案:父亲收到礼物后,先是满脸惊讶,愣了几秒才伸手接过,粗糙的手指轻轻摩挲着崭新的手套,眼神中满是动容,原本疲惫的脸上露出了温柔的笑容。“我”会坦诚地对父亲说:“爸,我本来想用这笔钱买那双渴望已久的跑鞋,但路过工地看到你这么辛苦,就改变了主意。这双手套适合你干活用,天热,喝点冰饮凉快凉快。” 语气中带着愧疚,也满是真诚的关心。
衔接句 2—— 对 “情节结局与主题升华” 提问:父亲的回应是怎样的?“我”从这件事中有了怎样的成长感悟?如何呼应“亲情与成长”的核心主题?
答案:父亲会笑着摸了摸“我”的头,声音略带沙哑却满是欣慰:“我的孩子长大了,懂得心疼爸爸了。” 他接过冰饮喝了一口,脸上的疲惫消散了不少,还叮嘱“我”不用为他担心。“我”感悟到,比起昂贵的跑鞋带来的短暂满足,父亲的笑容与亲情的温暖更让人踏实幸福;成长就是学会体谅他人的付出,懂得珍惜身边的亲情,不再执着于自私的物质梦想。这一感悟直接呼应核心主题,印证了“亲情滋养成长,学会感恩即是蜕变”的理念。
主题:
答案:真正的成长,是从执着于个人物质欲望,到学会体谅他人的默默付出;父亲的辛劳与守护,是亲情最朴素的模样,远比昂贵的物品更值得珍惜;劳动不仅能让人靠近梦想,更能让人在感悟生活艰辛中重构价值认知,懂得感恩与担当;不要让物质欲望遮蔽了亲情的温暖,学会珍惜身边的守护,才是成长的真谛。
三、段落构思
第一段:In the sports store, I found the shoes.
梳理第一段写作思路:①开篇承接提示句,描写跑鞋的模样及“我”的本能渴望;②刻画内心挣扎,父亲辛劳的身影反复浮现,对比跑鞋与父亲的付出,产生愧疚感;③描写“我”的决定,放弃买鞋,用兼职钱买适合父亲的礼物,体现心境转变。
续写:In the sports store, I found the shoes. They were exactly what I dreamed of—black and white, with the same logo as my favorite athlete’s. I stopped to stare, reaching out to touch the smooth surface. But my father’s tired face, covered in sweat and dust, kept popping into my mind. I felt guilty for wanting expensive shoes while he worked so hard. Finally, I turned away from the shoes and bought a pair of durable work gloves and an iced drink with my earnings. They were simple, but they were my way of caring for him.
第二段:During my father’s break, I went to the building site and gave him the gifts.
梳理第二段写作思路:①开篇承接提示句,描写工地场景及父亲看到“我”的惊讶;②刻画送礼物的细节,“我”坦诚内心想法,表达对父亲的体谅;③描写父亲的反应与回应,传递亲情温暖,收尾点明成长感悟,升华主题。
续写:During my father’s break, I went to the building site and gave him the gifts. He looked surprised when he saw me, then his eyes softened as he took the gloves and drink. I told him I’d planned to buy the shoes but changed my mind after seeing him work. My father patted my shoulder, his voice warm with pride: “You’ve grown up.” Sipping the iced drink, he smiled tiredly. At that moment, I knew family love was far more precious than any pair of shoes. This was my real growth.
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