浙江省诸暨市2025-2026学年高三12月诊断性考试试题读后续写二次开发学案

诸暨市2025年12月高三诊断性考试试题 读后续写二次开发学案学生版 【真题再现】 阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。 After a long day riding on the farm, Jorge returned to the house. His mother, Melissa, greeted him, looking upset. “I have received an offer from Mr.Somerset to sell the farm to Eco-Tours International,” Melissa began. “I’ve always hoped to keep the farm. Sadly, we’re losing money because the land is overgrazed（过度放牧）.” Jorge’s heart dropped. He asked if they had to decide right now. “Two weeks,” Melissa replied. “We’ll find an answer,” Jorge said, trying to sound optimistic. The next few days were filled with the hardest work Jorge had ever done. He herded sheep, fixed fencing, … In the evenings, he would sit with his mother, excitedly telling her all he learned on the farm. But when he was done, sadness would fill his heart. He didn’t yet know how to save the farm. On the fourth day, Jorge came across a guanaco（原驼）with its leg stuck in the fence. Jorge knelt beside it to help, reaching out with a pair of wire cutters. “These are wild animals,” Jorge thought. “They don’t understand fences. In the old days, his mother once told him, there were no fences. The flock（羊群）grazing all over the mountain. It was harder to protect the sheep, but at least there was always enough grass.” Watching the guanaco limping away, Jorge fell silent. Something churned in his mind（心烦）, but he couldn't figure out what it was exactly. Two days before Mr.Somerset was due to return, Jorge was out on a horse seeking out a sheep that had wandered away. After a while, he spotted her on the other side of that fence. As he approached, he instantly understood what attracted her out —the green grass. Thoughtfully, he looked at the rich pastures（草场）beyond. Jorge managed to get the sheep in and was about to leave when he noticed a sudden movement. A puma（美洲狮）stood on a flat rock, staring at him. Jorge almost felt sorry for the skinny beast. "It must be hungry,” Jorge said quietly. “The changes to the land affect us all.” 注意： (1)续写词数应为150左右； (2)请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。 Paragraph 1: On the way back, Jorge had a picture in his mind. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Paragraph 2: Then came the day when Mr.Somerset returned. __________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 【原文翻译】 在农场骑马劳作了一整天后，豪尔赫回到了家中。母亲梅丽莎出来迎接他，面露愁容。 “萨默塞特先生带来了一份提议，想把农场卖给国际生态旅游公司，” 梅丽莎开口说道，“我一直希望能保住这座农场。可遗憾的是，因为土地过度放牧，我们一直在亏损。” 豪尔赫的心一沉，他问母亲是否必须现在就做决定。 “给我们两周时间，” 梅丽莎回答。“我们会想出办法的，” 豪尔赫强装乐观地说。 接下来的几天，豪尔赫投入了有生以来最繁重的劳作中。他放羊、修围栏…… 晚上，他会和母亲坐在一起，兴奋地分享自己在农场学到的一切。可说完之后，心中便会被悲伤填满 —— 他还不知道该如何拯救农场。 第四天，豪尔赫遇到了一只腿被围栏卡住的原驼。他跪在原驼身边准备施救，手里拿着一把钢丝钳。“这些是野生动物，” 豪尔赫心想，“它们不懂围栏的意义。” 母亲曾告诉他，以前这里没有围栏，羊群在山间四处放牧。虽然保护羊群会更费力，但至少草永远是充足的。看着原驼一瘸一拐地离开，豪尔赫陷入了沉默。他的思绪翻腾，可就是想不出具体是什么。 距离萨默塞特先生回访只剩两天时，豪尔赫骑马外出寻找一只走失的羊。过了一会儿，他在围栏的另一边发现了那只羊。走近后他立刻明白，吸引羊跑出去的是围栏外的青草。他若有所思地望着围栏另一边茂盛的草场。 豪尔赫成功把羊赶了回来，正要离开时，突然注意到一丝动静。一只美洲狮站在一块平坦的岩石上，正盯着他看。豪尔赫几乎对这只瘦弱的野兽生出了同情。“它一定饿坏了，” 豪尔赫轻声说，“土地的变化，影响着我们每一个人。” 【写作训练步骤】 一、通读全文，深度解读 1. 读情节 开端 发展 转折 续写第一段 续写第二段 2. 读人物 Jorge Melissa（Jorge 的母亲） Mr. Somerset（收购方代表） 3. 读时态 全文以________________为主。 4. 读冲突 外在冲突 内在冲突 读情绪发展 忧心忡忡（得知农场要出售）→ 乐观尝试（拼命干活）→ 迷茫无助（无拯救思路）→ 若有所思（救助原驼）→ 豁然开朗（发现青草与美洲狮后）→ （续写发展：____________ →______________） →（续写结局：___________ →_______________） 读主题 _______________________________________ 二、【十句五定法】—— 搭建你的写作框架 请根据两个段落的开头语，构思并完成以下句子，以搭建清晰的段落结构。 段落 句子功能 你的句子构思 第一段 1. 接续 Hint1 描述 Jorge 脑海中的画面：________________________________________________________________________________。 2. 动作 / 心理推进 他兴奋地_______________________________________________________________________________________________________。 3. 有效过渡 他想起救助的原驼和饥饿的美洲狮，更加坚定：_______________________________________________________________。 4. 有效衔接 回到家后，Jorge 拉着母亲坐在桌前，拿出纸笔，一边画一边详细_______________________________________________。 5. 段落收束 母亲看着儿子眼中的光芒，听着可行的计划，紧锁的眉头渐渐舒展，决定和他一起尝试。 第二段 6. 接续 Hint2 具体描写 Somerset 先生来到农场，Jorge 镇定地带着他参观草场，展示___________________________________________。 7. 情节发展 Jorge 拿出提前_________________________________________________________________________________________。 8. 主题升华 Somerset 先生认真倾听，不时点头，Jorge 趁机强调：农场的价值_____________________________________________________。 9. 结局呈现 Somerset 先生被方案的可行性和 Jorge 的责任感打动，决定_________________________________________________。 10. 富有余韵的结尾 用一句感悟式句子收尾，回扣主题（如：__________________________________________________________________）。 三、【微写作训练】—— 打磨你的语言（中英文对称版） 1. 人物心理描写（Psychological Description） 情绪类型（Emotion Type） 英文词块（English Chunk） 中文释义（Chinese Meaning） 适配情节（Applicable Plot） 忧心忡忡（Anxiety & Worry） 听到要出售农场的消息，Jorge 的心一沉。 得知农场面临出售时 他心中满是沉重的忧虑，不知如何拯救农场。 拼命干活却无思路时 豁然开朗（Enlightenment & Clarity） 想到轮牧，Jorge 脑海中闪过一个绝妙的主意。 返程途中萌生方案时 他豁然开朗 —— 恢复土地生态才是拯救农场的关键。 观察青草与美洲狮后 自信坚定（Confidence & Determination） Jorge 对自己的方案充满信心，准备说服 Somerset 先生。 迎接 Somerset 先生时 他心中涌起坚定的决心 —— 绝不卖掉农场。 确定方案后 2. 情感描写（Emotional Description） 情感类型（Emotion Type） 英文词块（English Chunk） 中文释义（Chinese Meaning） 适配情节（Applicable Plot） 无奈惋惜（Helplessness & Regret） Melissa 沮丧的表情，流露出对农场困境的惋惜。 告知出售提议时 看着过度放牧、青草稀疏的草场，Jorge 感到难过。 劳作时见草场现状 同情触动（Sympathy & Touch） Jorge 为被困的原驼和消瘦的美洲狮感到同情。 救助原驼、遇见美洲狮时 所有生物都因土地变化受苦，这让他深受触动。 领悟生态关联时 欣喜释然（Joy & Relief） 当 Somerset 先生同意支持他们的方案时，喜悦席卷了他们。 成功保住农场时 得知农场能存活并发展，Jorge 心中满是释然。 方案被认可后 3. 动作描写（Action Description） 动作场景（Action Scene） 英文词块（English Chunk） 中文释义（Chinese Meaning） 适配情节（Applicable Plot） 农场劳作（Farm Work） Jorge 熟练地放羊，把它们引向仅剩的有草区域。 日常农场劳作时 他用钢丝钳修理破损的围栏，双手因劳作布满老茧。 修围栏时 救助与观察（Rescue & Observation） Jorge 轻轻跪下，用钢丝钳解救原驼被困的腿。 救助原驼时 他小心翼翼地盯着消瘦的美洲狮，注意到它饥饿的眼神。 遇见美洲狮时 方案推进（Plan Promotion） Jorge 在纸上画起草场地图，讲解轮牧方案。 与母亲沟通时 他带着 Somerset 先生参观农场，指出规划好的放牧区域。 说服收购方时 4. 环境象征描写（Symbolic Environmental Description） 象征意象（Symbolic Image） 英文表达（English Expression） 中文释义（Chinese Meaning） 象征意义（Symbolic Meaning） 过度放牧的草场（Overgrazed Pastures） 过度放牧的草场上青草稀疏，象征着农场日渐衰退的活力与生态失衡。 困境与生态危机 围栏（Fences） 曾经用于保护羊群的围栏，象征着破坏自然平衡的人为障碍。 人与自然的隔阂 围栏外的青草（Green Grass Beyond Fences） 围栏外茂盛的青草，代表着生态恢复与农场存活的希望。 转机与希望 原驼与美洲狮（Guanaco & Puma） 原驼与美洲狮象征着所有野生动物，折射出人类活动对自然的影响。 人与自然的共生关联 5. 子训练：为故事注入灵魂（Sub-Training: Inject Soul into the Story） 训练一：环境描写・烘托心情（Environmental Description・Highlight Mood） 心情（Mood） 可选词汇（Optional Vocabulary） 英文造句（English Sentence-Making） 中文造句（Chinese Sentence-Making） 迷茫、压抑（Confusion & Oppression） 稀疏的青草（sparse grass）；干裂的土地（cracked soil）；沉闷的空气（heavy air） 稀疏的青草覆盖着干裂的土地，沉闷的空气笼罩着农场，映照出 Jorge 迷茫又担忧的心情。 希望、明朗（Hope & Clarity） 茂盛的青草（lush grass）；清新的微风（fresh breeze）；温暖的阳光（warm sunlight） 茂盛的青草在清新的微风中摇曳，温暖的阳光洒在围栏外的草场上，Jorge 心中满是希望。 坚定、从容（Determination & Composure） 规划好的区域（planned areas）；整齐的标记（neat marks）；平静的牧场（calm pastures） 带有整齐标记的规划放牧区域横跨在平静的草场上，Jorge 步伐坚定地走着，准备展示他的方案。 训练二：人物刻画・于细微处见真情（Character Portrayal・Truth in Details） 抽象描述（Abstract Description） 英文具体表达（Specific English Expression） 中文具体表达（Specific Chinese Expression） Jorge 很细心（Jorge was careful） 他慢慢跪下，避免惊吓到原驼，用钢丝钳轻轻解救它的腿，没有造成一丝伤害。 Melissa 很纠结（Melissa was torn） 她盯着农场的账本，手指紧张地敲着桌子，眼里满是不舍与无奈。 Jorge 很坚定（Jorge was firm） 他在 Somerset 先生面前站直身子，眼神清澈而坚定，用自信的语气讲解着自己的方案。 仿写示例（Example of Imitation） 英文仿写（English Imitation）：She placed her hand on Jorge’s shoulder, her voice soft yet resolute: “I believe in you and your plan—let’s fight for the farm together.” 中文仿写（Chinese Imitation）：她把手放在 Jorge 的肩上，声音温柔却坚定：“我相信你和你的方案 —— 我们一起为农场奋斗。” 训练三：情感表达・找到 “高级替身”（Emotional Expression・Find "Advanced Replacements"） 基础词汇（Basic Vocabulary） 高级替换词（Advanced Replacements） 英文例句升级（English Sentence Upgrade） 中文例句升级（Chinese Sentence Upgrade） sad（难过的） heartbroken（心碎的）；despondent（沮丧的） Original: Jorge was sad about the farm’s situation. Upgraded: 原句：Jorge 为农场的状况感到难过。升级句：看着农场日渐衰退，Jorge 感到心碎又沮丧，担心会失去这个他热爱的地方。 happy（开心的） overjoyed（欣喜若狂的）；elated（兴高采烈的） Original: Jorge was happy when his plan was accepted. Upgraded: 原句：Jorge 的方案被接受时，他很开心。升级句：当 Somerset 先生同意支持他的方案，得知农场得救时，Jorge 欣喜若狂、兴高采烈。 surprised（惊讶的） astonished（深感惊讶的）；astounded（震惊的） Original: Mr. Somerset was surprised by Jorge’s plan. Upgraded: . 原句：Somerset 先生对 Jorge 的方案感到惊讶。升级句：Somerset 先生对这个 16 岁少年创新且可行的方案深感惊讶与震撼，从未想到会有这样的智慧。 训练四：动作细节・让情感可视化（Action Details・Visualize Emotions） 情境（Situation） 直白版（Plain Version） 细节版英文（Detailed English Version） 细节版中文（Detailed Chinese Version） Jorge 救助原驼 Jorge helped the guanaco. Jorge 轻轻跪下，目光紧盯着原驼颤抖的腿，双手轻柔地拿着钢丝钳，慢慢剪开围栏，生怕伤到这只可怜的动物。 Jorge 讲解方案 Jorge explained his plan to Mr. Somerset. Jorge 展开草场地图，手指清晰地指着每个划分好的区域，声音平稳而自信，详细阐述轮牧如何恢复土地生态。 训练五：象征与隐喻・让主题更深刻（Symbolism & Metaphor・Deepen the Theme） 抽象概念（Abstract Concept） 英文象征表达（English Symbolic Expression） 中文象征表达（Chinese Symbolic Expression） 生态平衡的重要性（The Importance of Ecological Balance） 原驼被困的腿与美洲狮的饥饿，是生态平衡被打破时自然所受痛苦的隐喻。 少年的成长（The Teenager’s Growth） Jorge 从迷茫到顿悟的历程，就像农场从衰退到复苏的道路 —— 都需要勇气与智慧。 可持续发展（Sustainable Development） 轮牧不仅是一种养殖方式，更是人与自然和谐共生的象征，保障着长久的繁荣。 四、【微动作训练】—— 让情感在行动中展现 训练一：动作 - 情绪绑定 （请根据中文提示，补全英文句子，完成 “动作 - 情绪” 的精准绑定） 1. 场景：忧心农场现状 英文：Jorge ____ his fingers through the sparse grass (手指拂过稀疏的青草), his shoulders _______ ________ (肩膀微微耷拉着) as he ______ ___ the overgrazed pastures (凝视着过度放牧的草场). 中文：Jorge 手指拂过稀疏的青草，肩膀微微耷拉着，凝视着过度放牧的草场。 2. 场景：萌生拯救思路 英文：He ____ the horse’s neck firmly (用力拍了拍马脖子), his eyes lighting up with ____________(眼里闪烁着兴奋的光芒) as the plan ______ ______ in his mind (脑海中逐渐形成方案). 中文：他用力拍了拍马脖子，眼里闪烁着兴奋的光芒，脑海中逐渐形成方案。 3. 场景：坚定展示方案 英文：Jorge ______ ________ with his chest out (挺直胸膛站直), his hands ______________ clearly (双手清晰地比划着) ___ he explained the __________ grazing plan (讲解轮牧方案), his voice full of ____________ (声音里充满自信). 中文：Jorge 挺直胸膛站直，双手清晰地比划着讲解轮牧方案，声音里充满自信。 训练二：细节放大镜 （请将简单的动作，通过添加 1-2 个细节进行升级，使其更具表现力） 1. 原句： I looked for the lost sheep. 细节升级： I rode my horse slowly across the pastures (骑着马在草场上缓慢穿行), my eyes scanning every corner carefully (眼睛仔细扫视每个角落), calling the sheep’s name softly (轻声呼唤着羊的名字) as the sun began to set (太阳渐渐西沉). 2. 原句： Melissa listened to Jorge’s plan. 细节升级： Melissa leaned forward slightly (身体微微前倾), her eyes fixed on the map Jorge drew (目光紧盯着 Jorge 画的地图), nodding slowly (慢慢点头) as she understood the feasibility of the plan (理解了方案的可行性). 你的练习： 原句： Mr. Somerset visited the farm. 细节升级： Mr. Somerset got out of the car (从车里下来), his eyes wandering over the farm (目光在农场里游走), his hands behind his back (双手背在身后) as he observed the pastures and fences carefully (仔细观察着草场和围栏). 训练三：综合情景创作 （请运用以上所有技巧，为以下情景创作一个包含微动作描写的句子） 情景：一年后，农场草场恢复茂盛，羊群肥壮，原驼自由穿梭在预留通道，Jorge 和母亲看着这一切，与 Somerset 先生一起规划农场的未来生态旅游项目。要求：必须包含一个互动动作细节和一个面部表情细节，来表现圆满与希望。 你的创作：（参考：Jorge pointed at the lush pastures where sheep grazed peacefully and guanacos wandered freely, a bright smile spreading across his face as he said to Mr. Somerset: “This is the future of the farm.” Melissa put her arm around her son, her eyes filled with pride and relief.） 【微动作训练】参考答案 训练一：动作 - 情绪绑定 Jorge 手指拂过稀疏的青草，肩膀微微耷拉着，凝视着过度放牧的草场。Jorge ran his fingers through the sparse grass, his shoulders slumping slightly as he stared at the overgrazed pastures. 他用力拍了拍马脖子，眼里闪烁着兴奋的光芒，脑海中逐渐形成方案。He patted the horse’s neck firmly, his eyes lighting up with excitement as the plan took shape in his mind. Jorge 挺直胸膛站直，双手清晰地比划着讲解轮牧方案，声音里充满自信。Jorge stood straight with his chest out, his hands gesturing clearly as he explained the rotational grazing plan, his voice full of confidence. 训练二：细节放大镜 原句: I looked for the lost sheep.细节升级: I rode my horse slowly across the pastures, my eyes scanning every corner carefully, calling the sheep’s name softly as the sun began to set. 原句: Melissa listened to Jorge’s plan.细节升级: Melissa leaned forward slightly, her eyes fixed on the map Jorge drew, nodding slowly as she understood the feasibility of the plan. 你的练习:原句: Mr. Somerset visited the farm.细节升级: Mr. Somerset got out of the car, his eyes wandering over the farm, his hands behind his back as he observed the pastures and fences carefully. 训练三：综合情景创作 你的创作 (参考示例):Jorge pointed at the lush pastures where sheep grazed peacefully and guanacos wandered freely, a bright smile spreading across his face as he said to Mr. Somerset: “This is the future of the farm.” Melissa put her arm around her son, her eyes filled with pride and relief. 五、综合训练与范文引导 训练：补全段落 Paragraph 1 On the way back, Jorge had a picture in his mind. He ________ a farm running endlessly, ______ their sheep _______ freely alongside guanacos, just as it was in the old days. ______ fences, some sheep might ____ victim to pumas, but the flock as a whole would ______ and _____ stronger. Without fences, the land ______ ______ through rotational grazing. Why not remove them? he thought. Jorge ______ that he could tell his mother that he had truly learned something. He _____ his horse ____ a gallop. In the house, he ____ ____ his vision to his mother. Melissa listened ______, her eyes gradually ______ ____. “You’re right,” she said, her voice firm with ________ hope. “But we might as well consider Mr.Somerset’s offer”, she _____. Jorge nodded __________. 返程路上，豪尔赫脑海中浮现出一幅画面。他想象着一片无边无际的牧场，绵羊与原驼自由徜徉，重现往昔的景象。虽然没有围栏，部分羊群可能成为美洲狮的猎物，但整个羊群将因此获得生存优势并日渐壮硕。没有围栏的牧场还能通过轮牧实现生态修复。“何不拆除围栏呢？”他暗自思忖。豪尔赫意识到，自己终于领悟了人生真谛。他策马疾驰，将这番愿景娓娓道来。在家中，梅丽莎专注聆听，眼中渐渐泛起光晕。“你说得对，”她语气坚定，眼中闪烁着新燃起的希望，“不过我们不妨考虑萨默塞特先生的提议。”豪尔赫若有所思地点了点头。 Paragraph 2 Then came the day when Mr. Somerset returned. Jorge ______ beside his mother, _______ their new farm plan. “We’re not selling,” Melissa announced ________. Jorge presented their vision: an eco-ranch _______ tourists could see wildlife ______ _____ livestock. Mr.Somerset _______ ______, but as Jorge ______ how sustainable grazing would ______ the land’s fertility and how healthy predators meant a healthy ecosystem and potential for eco-tourism, his expression ______.“Smart young man,”he finally said, _____ Jorge on the shoulder. “Eco-Tours might want to ______ __ this model instead.” Hope ________ in Jorge’s chest as well as in his mother’s—they found an answer that ________ both their heritage and the land. 萨默塞特先生归来之日终于到来。豪尔赫站在母亲身旁，手捧新制定的农场规划图。“我们绝不卖地！”梅丽莎自信地宣布。豪尔赫向母亲展示他们的愿景：打造生态牧场，让游客亲眼见证野生动物与牲畜和谐共处。萨默塞特先生起初皱眉，但当豪尔赫解释可持续放牧如何恢复土地肥力、健康捕食者如何维系生态系统并创造生态旅游潜力时，他终于露出笑容。“好样的年轻人！”他拍着豪尔赫的肩膀说道，“生态旅游公司或许该投资这种模式。”豪尔赫和母亲心中顿时燃起希望——他们找到了既传承家族传统又尊重土地的解决方案。 1 学科网（北京）股份有限公司 $ 诸暨市2025年12月高三诊断性考试试题 读后续写二次开发学案教师版 【真题再现】 阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。 After a long day riding on the farm, Jorge returned to the house. His mother, Melissa, greeted him, looking upset. “I have received an offer from Mr.Somerset to sell the farm to Eco-Tours International,” Melissa began. “I’ve always hoped to keep the farm. Sadly, we’re losing money because the land is overgrazed（过度放牧）.” Jorge’s heart dropped. He asked if they had to decide right now. “Two weeks,” Melissa replied. “We’ll find an answer,” Jorge said, trying to sound optimistic. The next few days were filled with the hardest work Jorge had ever done. He herded sheep, fixed fencing, … In the evenings, he would sit with his mother, excitedly telling her all he learned on the farm. But when he was done, sadness would fill his heart. He didn’t yet know how to save the farm. On the fourth day, Jorge came across a guanaco（原驼）with its leg stuck in the fence. Jorge knelt beside it to help, reaching out with a pair of wire cutters. “These are wild animals,” Jorge thought. “They don’t understand fences. In the old days, his mother once told him, there were no fences. The flock（羊群）grazing all over the mountain. It was harder to protect the sheep, but at least there was always enough grass.” Watching the guanaco limping away, Jorge fell silent. Something churned in his mind（心烦）, but he couldn't figure out what it was exactly. Two days before Mr.Somerset was due to return, Jorge was out on a horse seeking out a sheep that had wandered away. After a while, he spotted her on the other side of that fence. As he approached, he instantly understood what attracted her out —the green grass. Thoughtfully, he looked at the rich pastures（草场）beyond. Jorge managed to get the sheep in and was about to leave when he noticed a sudden movement. A puma（美洲狮）stood on a flat rock, staring at him. Jorge almost felt sorry for the skinny beast. "It must be hungry,” Jorge said quietly. “The changes to the land affect us all.” 注意： (1)续写词数应为150左右； (2)请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。 Paragraph 1: On the way back, Jorge had a picture in his mind. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Paragraph 2: Then came the day when Mr.Somerset returned. __________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 【原文翻译】 在农场骑马劳作了一整天后，豪尔赫回到了家中。母亲梅丽莎出来迎接他，面露愁容。 “萨默塞特先生带来了一份提议，想把农场卖给国际生态旅游公司，” 梅丽莎开口说道，“我一直希望能保住这座农场。可遗憾的是，因为土地过度放牧，我们一直在亏损。” 豪尔赫的心一沉，他问母亲是否必须现在就做决定。 “给我们两周时间，” 梅丽莎回答。“我们会想出办法的，” 豪尔赫强装乐观地说。 接下来的几天，豪尔赫投入了有生以来最繁重的劳作中。他放羊、修围栏…… 晚上，他会和母亲坐在一起，兴奋地分享自己在农场学到的一切。可说完之后，心中便会被悲伤填满 —— 他还不知道该如何拯救农场。 第四天，豪尔赫遇到了一只腿被围栏卡住的原驼。他跪在原驼身边准备施救，手里拿着一把钢丝钳。“这些是野生动物，” 豪尔赫心想，“它们不懂围栏的意义。” 母亲曾告诉他，以前这里没有围栏，羊群在山间四处放牧。虽然保护羊群会更费力，但至少草永远是充足的。看着原驼一瘸一拐地离开，豪尔赫陷入了沉默。他的思绪翻腾，可就是想不出具体是什么。 距离萨默塞特先生回访只剩两天时，豪尔赫骑马外出寻找一只走失的羊。过了一会儿，他在围栏的另一边发现了那只羊。走近后他立刻明白，吸引羊跑出去的是围栏外的青草。他若有所思地望着围栏另一边茂盛的草场。 豪尔赫成功把羊赶了回来，正要离开时，突然注意到一丝动静。一只美洲狮站在一块平坦的岩石上，正盯着他看。豪尔赫几乎对这只瘦弱的野兽生出了同情。“它一定饿坏了，” 豪尔赫轻声说，“土地的变化，影响着我们每一个人。” 【写作训练步骤】 一、通读全文，深度解读 读情节 开端：Jorge 在农场劳作一天后回家，母亲 Melissa 告知收到 Eco-Tours International 的农场收购提议。农场因过度放牧亏损，母亲虽想保留农场但面临困境，给了两周时间做决定，Jorge 强装乐观却忧心忡忡。 发展：接下来几天 Jorge 拼命干活（放羊、修围栏），每晚和母亲分享农场见闻，却始终不知如何拯救农场。第四天，他救助了一只被围栏困住的原驼，想起母亲说过以前没有围栏时羊群可在山间自由放牧，青草充足。 转折：距离 Somerset 先生回访只剩两天，Jorge 骑马寻找走失的羊，发现羊被围栏另一侧的青草吸引，还遇到一只饥饿消瘦的美洲狮，意识到土地变化（过度放牧、围栏限制）影响着所有生物。 高潮：Jorge 在返程途中萌生拯救农场的创新思路，找到生态与农场可持续发展的平衡点。 续写开端：描写 Jorge 脑海中的计划（核心是调整围栏、实施轮牧、恢复草场生态），他兴奋地梳理思路，迫不及待回家与母亲沟通。 续写结局：阐述 Somerset 先生回访时，Jorge 详细介绍生态养殖方案，用草场恢复潜力和可持续收益说服对方，成功保住农场，领悟到人与自然和谐共生的重要性。 读人物 Jorge（农场少年，第一人称关联主角）：热爱农场、有责任感、善于观察思考，从最初的迷茫无助到发现问题本质，最终提出创新方案，展现出少年的成长与担当。 Melissa（Jorge 的母亲）：珍视农场、务实坚韧，面对亏损虽无奈但不放弃，是 Jorge 的精神支撑，最终支持儿子的方案。 Mr. Somerset（收购方代表）：理性务实，关注收益与可行性，是 Jorge 方案的检验者，推动情节走向结局。 原驼与美洲狮（野生动物）：生态环境变化的缩影，触发 Jorge 的思考，象征人与自然的关联，凸显生态平衡的重要性。 读时态 全文以一般过去时为主，续写需严格保持一致。 读冲突 外在冲突：农场过度放牧导致亏损与保住农场的矛盾；围栏限制（保护羊群）与生物生存（原驼被困、美洲狮饥饿）的冲突；出售农场的现实压力与生态可持续发展的探索矛盾。 内在冲突：Jorge 想拯救农场却无思路的迷茫与观察后萌生灵感的顿悟；母亲对农场的情感眷恋与现实亏损的无奈挣扎。 读情绪发展 忧心忡忡（得知农场要出售）→ 乐观尝试（拼命干活）→ 迷茫无助（无拯救思路）→ 若有所思（救助原驼）→ 豁然开朗（发现青草与美洲狮后）→ （续写发展：兴奋坚定→从容自信） →（续写结局：欣慰释然→感悟成长） 读主题 生态平衡与农场可持续发展（Ecological Balance and Sustainable Farm Development） 责任与担当：少年的成长蜕变（Responsibility and Commitment: A Teenager’s Growth） 人与自然的和谐共生（Harmonious Coexistence Between Humans and Nature） 创新思路破解困境（Innovative Ideas to Overcome Difficulties） 二、【十句五定法】—— 搭建你的写作框架 请根据两个段落的开头语，构思并完成以下句子，以搭建清晰的段落结构。 段落 句子功能 你的句子构思 第一段 1. 接续 Hint1 描述 Jorge 脑海中的画面：拆除部分围栏，将草场划分区域轮牧，让过度放牧的土地休养生息，同时给野生动物留出通道。 2. 动作 / 心理推进 他兴奋地拍了拍马背，脑海中快速盘算：轮牧能让青草重新生长，羊群有充足饲料，农场就能扭亏为盈，还能兼顾野生动物的生存。 3. 有效过渡 他想起救助的原驼和饥饿的美洲狮，更加坚定：只有让生态恢复平衡，农场才能长久存活。 4. 有效衔接 回到家后，Jorge 拉着母亲坐在桌前，拿出纸笔，一边画一边详细讲解自己的轮牧方案。 5. 段落收束 母亲看着儿子眼中的光芒，听着可行的计划，紧锁的眉头渐渐舒展，决定和他一起尝试。 第二段 6. 接续 Hint2 具体描写 Somerset 先生来到农场，Jorge 镇定地带着他参观草场，展示划分好的轮牧区域，讲解方案的核心逻辑。 7. 情节发展 Jorge 拿出提前记录的草场现状数据，分析轮牧对恢复植被、增加羊群产量的作用，还提到保护野生动物带来的生态价值。 8. 主题升华 Somerset 先生认真倾听，不时点头，Jorge 趁机强调：农场的价值不仅在于盈利，更在于与自然共生，可持续发展才是长久之道。 9. 结局呈现 Somerset 先生被方案的可行性和 Jorge 的责任感打动，决定放弃收购，反而提出投资支持他的生态养殖计划。 10. 富有余韵的结尾 用一句感悟式句子收尾，回扣主题（如：原来拯救农场的不是妥协出售，而是尊重自然的智慧 —— 当人与万物和谐共生，困境自会迎刃而解）。 三、【微写作训练】—— 打磨你的语言（中英文对称版） 1. 人物心理描写（Psychological Description） 情绪类型（Emotion Type） 英文词块（English Chunk） 中文释义（Chinese Meaning） 适配情节（Applicable Plot） 忧心忡忡（Anxiety & Worry） Jorge’s heart dropped at the news of selling the farm. 听到要出售农场的消息，Jorge 的心一沉。 得知农场面临出售时 He felt a heavy weight of worry, not knowing how to save the farm. 他心中满是沉重的忧虑，不知如何拯救农场。 拼命干活却无思路时 豁然开朗（Enlightenment & Clarity） A bright idea flashed through Jorge’s mind as he thought of rotational grazing. 想到轮牧，Jorge 脑海中闪过一个绝妙的主意。 返程途中萌生方案时 Clarity dawned on him—restoring the land was the key to saving the farm. 他豁然开朗 —— 恢复土地生态才是拯救农场的关键。 观察青草与美洲狮后 自信坚定（Confidence & Determination） Jorge felt confident about his plan, ready to convince Mr. Somerset. Jorge 对自己的方案充满信心，准备说服 Somerset 先生。 迎接 Somerset 先生时 A firm resolve settled in him—he would not let the farm be sold. 他心中涌起坚定的决心 —— 绝不卖掉农场。 确定方案后 2. 情感描写（Emotional Description） 情感类型（Emotion Type） 英文词块（English Chunk） 中文释义（Chinese Meaning） 适配情节（Applicable Plot） 无奈惋惜（Helplessness & Regret） Melissa’s upset expression revealed her regret at the farm’s predicament. Melissa 沮丧的表情，流露出对农场困境的惋惜。 告知出售提议时 Jorge felt sad as he watched the overgrazed pastures with little grass. 看着过度放牧、青草稀疏的草场，Jorge 感到难过。 劳作时见草场现状 同情触动（Sympathy & Touch） Jorge felt sorry for the guanaco stuck in the fence and the skinny puma. Jorge 为被困的原驼和消瘦的美洲狮感到同情。 救助原驼、遇见美洲狮时 He was deeply touched by the fact that all creatures suffered from land changes. 所有生物都因土地变化受苦，这让他深受触动。 领悟生态关联时 欣喜释然（Joy & Relief） Joy flooded them as Mr. Somerset agreed to support their plan. 当 Somerset 先生同意支持他们的方案时，喜悦席卷了他们。 成功保住农场时 Relief settled over Jorge, knowing the farm would survive and thrive. 得知农场能存活并发展，Jorge 心中满是释然。 方案被认可后 3. 动作描写（Action Description） 动作场景（Action Scene） 英文词块（English Chunk） 中文释义（Chinese Meaning） 适配情节（Applicable Plot） 农场劳作（Farm Work） Jorge herded sheep skillfully, guiding them to the remaining grassy areas. Jorge 熟练地放羊，把它们引向仅剩的有草区域。 日常农场劳作时 He fixed the broken fencing with wire cutters, his hands calloused from hard work. 他用钢丝钳修理破损的围栏，双手因劳作布满老茧。 修围栏时 救助与观察（Rescue & Observation） Jorge knelt down gently, using wire cutters to free the guanaco’s stuck leg. Jorge 轻轻跪下，用钢丝钳解救原驼被困的腿。 救助原驼时 He stared at the skinny puma cautiously, noticing its hungry eyes. 他小心翼翼地盯着消瘦的美洲狮，注意到它饥饿的眼神。 遇见美洲狮时 方案推进（Plan Promotion） Jorge drew a map of pastures on paper, explaining the rotational grazing plan. Jorge 在纸上画起草场地图，讲解轮牧方案。 与母亲沟通时 He led Mr. Somerset around the farm, pointing out the planned grazing areas. 他带着 Somerset 先生参观农场，指出规划好的放牧区域。 说服收购方时 4. 环境象征描写（Symbolic Environmental Description） 象征意象（Symbolic Image） 英文表达（English Expression） 中文释义（Chinese Meaning） 象征意义（Symbolic Meaning） 过度放牧的草场（Overgrazed Pastures） The sparse grass on overgrazed pastures symbolized the farm’s declining vitality and ecological imbalance. 过度放牧的草场上青草稀疏，象征着农场日渐衰退的活力与生态失衡。 困境与生态危机 围栏（Fences） The fences, once for protecting sheep, symbolized man-made barriers that disrupted nature’s balance. 曾经用于保护羊群的围栏，象征着破坏自然平衡的人为障碍。 人与自然的隔阂 围栏外的青草（Green Grass Beyond Fences） The lush green grass beyond the fence represented hope for ecological recovery and farm survival. 围栏外茂盛的青草，代表着生态恢复与农场存活的希望。 转机与希望 原驼与美洲狮（Guanaco & Puma） The guanaco and puma symbolized all wild creatures, reflecting the impact of human activities on nature. 原驼与美洲狮象征着所有野生动物，折射出人类活动对自然的影响。 人与自然的共生关联 5. 子训练：为故事注入灵魂（Sub-Training: Inject Soul into the Story） 训练一：环境描写・烘托心情（Environmental Description・Highlight Mood） 心情（Mood） 可选词汇（Optional Vocabulary） 英文造句（English Sentence-Making） 中文造句（Chinese Sentence-Making） 迷茫、压抑（Confusion & Oppression） 稀疏的青草（sparse grass）；干裂的土地（cracked soil）；沉闷的空气（heavy air） Sparse grass covered the cracked soil, and heavy air hung over the farm, mirroring Jorge’s confused and worried mood. 稀疏的青草覆盖着干裂的土地，沉闷的空气笼罩着农场，映照出 Jorge 迷茫又担忧的心情。 希望、明朗（Hope & Clarity） 茂盛的青草（lush grass）；清新的微风（fresh breeze）；温暖的阳光（warm sunlight） Lush grass swayed in the fresh breeze, and warm sunlight shone on the pastures beyond the fence, filling Jorge’s heart with hope. 茂盛的青草在清新的微风中摇曳，温暖的阳光洒在围栏外的草场上，Jorge 心中满是希望。 坚定、从容（Determination & Composure） 规划好的区域（planned areas）；整齐的标记（neat marks）；平静的牧场（calm pastures） Planned grazing areas with neat marks stretched across the calm pastures, and Jorge walked with a firm step, ready to present his plan. 带有整齐标记的规划放牧区域横跨在平静的草场上，Jorge 步伐坚定地走着，准备展示他的方案。 训练二：人物刻画・于细微处见真情（Character Portrayal・Truth in Details） 抽象描述（Abstract Description） 英文具体表达（Specific English Expression） 中文具体表达（Specific Chinese Expression） Jorge 很细心（Jorge was careful） He knelt down slowly, avoiding startling the guanaco, and used wire cutters gently to free its leg without hurting it. 他慢慢跪下，避免惊吓到原驼，用钢丝钳轻轻解救它的腿，没有造成一丝伤害。 Melissa 很纠结（Melissa was torn） She stared at the farm’s account books, her fingers tapping the table nervously, her eyes filled with reluctance and helplessness. 她盯着农场的账本，手指紧张地敲着桌子，眼里满是不舍与无奈。 Jorge 很坚定（Jorge was firm） He stood straight in front of Mr. Somerset, his eyes clear and steady, explaining his plan with a confident tone. 他在 Somerset 先生面前站直身子，眼神清澈而坚定，用自信的语气讲解着自己的方案。 仿写示例（Example of Imitation） 英文仿写（English Imitation）：She placed her hand on Jorge’s shoulder, her voice soft yet resolute: “I believe in you and your plan—let’s fight for the farm together.” 中文仿写（Chinese Imitation）：她把手放在 Jorge 的肩上，声音温柔却坚定：“我相信你和你的方案 —— 我们一起为农场奋斗。” 训练三：情感表达・找到 “高级替身”（Emotional Expression・Find "Advanced Replacements"） 基础词汇（Basic Vocabulary） 高级替换词（Advanced Replacements） 英文例句升级（English Sentence Upgrade） 中文例句升级（Chinese Sentence Upgrade） sad（难过的） heartbroken（心碎的）；despondent（沮丧的） Original: Jorge was sad about the farm’s situation.Upgraded: Jorge felt heartbroken and despondent about the farm’s declining state, fearing he’d lose the place he loved. 原句：Jorge 为农场的状况感到难过。升级句：看着农场日渐衰退，Jorge 感到心碎又沮丧，担心会失去这个他热爱的地方。 happy（开心的） overjoyed（欣喜若狂的）；elated（兴高采烈的） Original: Jorge was happy when his plan was accepted.Upgraded: Jorge was overjoyed and elated when Mr. Somerset agreed to support his plan, knowing the farm was saved. 原句：Jorge 的方案被接受时，他很开心。升级句：当 Somerset 先生同意支持他的方案，得知农场得救时，Jorge 欣喜若狂、兴高采烈。 surprised（惊讶的） astonished（深感惊讶的）；astounded（震惊的） Original: Mr. Somerset was surprised by Jorge’s plan.Upgraded: Mr. Somerset was astonished and astounded by the 16-year-old’s innovative and feasible plan, never expecting such wisdom. 原句：Somerset 先生对 Jorge 的方案感到惊讶。升级句：Somerset 先生对这个 16 岁少年创新且可行的方案深感惊讶与震撼，从未想到会有这样的智慧。 训练四：动作细节・让情感可视化（Action Details・Visualize Emotions） 情境（Situation） 直白版（Plain Version） 细节版英文（Detailed English Version） 细节版中文（Detailed Chinese Version） Jorge 救助原驼 Jorge helped the guanaco. Jorge knelt softly, his eyes fixed on the guanaco’s trembling leg, holding the wire cutters gently and cutting the fence slowly, afraid of hurting the poor animal. Jorge 轻轻跪下，目光紧盯着原驼颤抖的腿，双手轻柔地拿着钢丝钳，慢慢剪开围栏，生怕伤到这只可怜的动物。 Jorge 讲解方案 Jorge explained his plan to Mr. Somerset. Jorge unfolded the map of pastures, his finger pointing clearly at each divided area, his voice steady and confident as he detailed how rotational grazing would restore the land. Jorge 展开草场地图，手指清晰地指着每个划分好的区域，声音平稳而自信，详细阐述轮牧如何恢复土地生态。 训练五：象征与隐喻・让主题更深刻（Symbolism & Metaphor・Deepen the Theme） 抽象概念（Abstract Concept） 英文象征表达（English Symbolic Expression） 中文象征表达（Chinese Symbolic Expression） 生态平衡的重要性（The Importance of Ecological Balance） The guanaco’s trapped leg and the puma’s hunger were metaphors for the pain of nature when ecological balance is broken. 原驼被困的腿与美洲狮的饥饿，是生态平衡被打破时自然所受痛苦的隐喻。 少年的成长（The Teenager’s Growth） Jorge’s journey from confusion to enlightenment was like the farm’s path from decline to recovery—both requiring courage and wisdom. Jorge 从迷茫到顿悟的历程，就像农场从衰退到复苏的道路 —— 都需要勇气与智慧。 可持续发展（Sustainable Development） Rotational grazing was not just a farming method; it was a symbol of harmonious coexistence between humans and nature, ensuring long-term prosperity. 轮牧不仅是一种养殖方式，更是人与自然和谐共生的象征，保障着长久的繁荣。 四、【微动作训练】—— 让情感在行动中展现 训练一：动作 - 情绪绑定 （请根据中文提示，补全英文句子，完成 “动作 - 情绪” 的精准绑定） 1. 场景：忧心农场现状 英文：Jorge ran his fingers through the sparse grass (手指拂过稀疏的青草), his shoulders slumping slightly (肩膀微微耷拉着) as he stared at the overgrazed pastures (凝视着过度放牧的草场). 中文：Jorge 手指拂过稀疏的青草，肩膀微微耷拉着，凝视着过度放牧的草场。 2. 场景：萌生拯救思路 英文：He patted the horse’s neck firmly (用力拍了拍马脖子), his eyes lighting up with excitement (眼里闪烁着兴奋的光芒) as the plan took shape in his mind (脑海中逐渐形成方案). 中文：他用力拍了拍马脖子，眼里闪烁着兴奋的光芒，脑海中逐渐形成方案。 3. 场景：坚定展示方案 英文：Jorge stood straight with his chest out (挺直胸膛站直), his hands gesturing clearly (双手清晰地比划着) as he explained the rotational grazing plan (讲解轮牧方案), his voice full of confidence (声音里充满自信). 中文：Jorge 挺直胸膛站直，双手清晰地比划着讲解轮牧方案，声音里充满自信。 训练二：细节放大镜 （请将简单的动作，通过添加 1-2 个细节进行升级，使其更具表现力） 1. 原句： I looked for the lost sheep. 细节升级： I rode my horse slowly across the pastures (骑着马在草场上缓慢穿行), my eyes scanning every corner carefully (眼睛仔细扫视每个角落), calling the sheep’s name softly (轻声呼唤着羊的名字) as the sun began to set (太阳渐渐西沉). 2. 原句： Melissa listened to Jorge’s plan. 细节升级： Melissa leaned forward slightly (身体微微前倾), her eyes fixed on the map Jorge drew (目光紧盯着 Jorge 画的地图), nodding slowly (慢慢点头) as she understood the feasibility of the plan (理解了方案的可行性). 你的练习： 原句： Mr. Somerset visited the farm. 细节升级： Mr. Somerset got out of the car (从车里下来), his eyes wandering over the farm (目光在农场里游走), his hands behind his back (双手背在身后) as he observed the pastures and fences carefully (仔细观察着草场和围栏). 训练三：综合情景创作 （请运用以上所有技巧，为以下情景创作一个包含微动作描写的句子） 情景：一年后，农场草场恢复茂盛，羊群肥壮，原驼自由穿梭在预留通道，Jorge 和母亲看着这一切，与 Somerset 先生一起规划农场的未来生态旅游项目。要求：必须包含一个互动动作细节和一个面部表情细节，来表现圆满与希望。 你的创作：（参考：Jorge pointed at the lush pastures where sheep grazed peacefully and guanacos wandered freely, a bright smile spreading across his face as he said to Mr. Somerset: “This is the future of the farm.” Melissa put her arm around her son, her eyes filled with pride and relief.） 【微动作训练】参考答案 训练一：动作 - 情绪绑定 Jorge 手指拂过稀疏的青草，肩膀微微耷拉着，凝视着过度放牧的草场。Jorge ran his fingers through the sparse grass, his shoulders slumping slightly as he stared at the overgrazed pastures. 他用力拍了拍马脖子，眼里闪烁着兴奋的光芒，脑海中逐渐形成方案。He patted the horse’s neck firmly, his eyes lighting up with excitement as the plan took shape in his mind. Jorge 挺直胸膛站直，双手清晰地比划着讲解轮牧方案，声音里充满自信。Jorge stood straight with his chest out, his hands gesturing clearly as he explained the rotational grazing plan, his voice full of confidence. 训练二：细节放大镜 原句: I looked for the lost sheep.细节升级: I rode my horse slowly across the pastures, my eyes scanning every corner carefully, calling the sheep’s name softly as the sun began to set. 原句: Melissa listened to Jorge’s plan.细节升级: Melissa leaned forward slightly, her eyes fixed on the map Jorge drew, nodding slowly as she understood the feasibility of the plan. 你的练习:原句: Mr. Somerset visited the farm.细节升级: Mr. Somerset got out of the car, his eyes wandering over the farm, his hands behind his back as he observed the pastures and fences carefully. 训练三：综合情景创作 你的创作 (参考示例):Jorge pointed at the lush pastures where sheep grazed peacefully and guanacos wandered freely, a bright smile spreading across his face as he said to Mr. Somerset: “This is the future of the farm.” Melissa put her arm around her son, her eyes filled with pride and relief. 五、综合训练与范文引导 训练：补全段落 Paragraph 1 On the way back, Jorge had a picture in his mind. He imagined a farm running endlessly, where their sheep roamed freely alongside guanacos, just as it was in the old days. Without fences, some sheep might fall victim to pumas, but the flock as a whole would survive and grow stronger. Without fences, the land could heal through rotational grazing. Why not remove them? he thought. Jorge realized that he could tell his mother that he had truly learned something. He urged his horse into a gallop. In the house, he laid out his vision to his mother. Melissa listened intently, her eyes gradually lighting up. “You’re right,” she said, her voice firm with newfound hope. “But we might as well consider Mr.Somerset’s offer”, she added. Jorge nodded thoughtfully. Paragraph 2 Then came the day when Mr. Somerset returned. Jorge stood beside his mother, holding their new farm plan. “We’re not selling,” Melissa announced confidently. Jorge presented their vision: an eco-ranch where tourists could see wildlife coexisting with livestock. Mr.Somerset frowned initially, but as Jorge explained how sustainable grazing would restore the land’s fertility and how healthy predators meant a healthy ecosystem and potential for eco-tourism, his expression softened. “Smart young man,” he finally said, patting Jorge on the shoulder. “Eco-Tours might want to invest in this model instead.” Hope blossomed in Jorge’s chest as well as in his mother’s—they found an answer that honored both their heritage and the land. 1 学科网（北京）股份有限公司 $