内容正文:
湖北省鄂东南联盟2025年秋季高三年级期中考试
读后续写二次开发学案教师版
【真题再现】
阅读下面的材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
December 25 was unusually quiet except for the nurses complaining about holiday shifts (轮值). I was a triage (分类) nurse that day and had just been out to the waiting room to clean up. Since there were no patients waiting to be seen at the time, I came back to the nurses’ station for hot drinks. Just then an admitting clerk came back and told me I had five patients waiting to be evaluated.
I complained, “Five, how did I get five; I was just out there and no one was there.”
“Well, there are five signed in. “So I went straight out and called the first name. Five bodies showed up at my triage desk, a pale woman and four small children in somewhat rumpled clothing.
“Are you all sick?” I asked suspiciously.
“Yes,” she said weakly, and lowered her head.
“Okay,” I replied, unconvinced, “who’s first?” One by one they sat down, and I asked the usual basic questions. When it came to descriptions of their presenting problems, things got a little vague.
Two of the children had headaches, but the headaches weren’t accompanied by the normal body language of holding the head or trying to keep it still. Two children had earaches, but only one could tell me which ear was affected. The mother complained of a cough, but seemed to work to produce it.
Something was wrong with the picture. Our hospital policy, however, was not to turn away any patient, so I admitted them in and explained the wait because ambulances had brought in several more critical patients. The mother responded, “Take your time; it’s warm here.” She turned and guided her children into the waiting room.
An instinct sent me to the chart — no address: the family, a mother with her four children aged 4-10, was homeless. They came for warmth, not medicine.
1.续写词数应为150个左右;
2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Back to the nurses’ station, I mentioned the family in the waiting room.
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Then it was my turn to join the “party” in the waiting room.
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【原文翻译】
12 月 25 日这天异常安静,只有护士们在抱怨节假日轮值。那天我担任分诊护士,刚去候诊室清理完卫生。由于当时没有等待就诊的患者,我回到护士站准备喝杯热饮。就在这时,一位挂号员回来告诉我,有五位患者正等着分诊评估。
我抱怨道:“五个?怎么会有五个患者?我刚才就在外面,明明一个人都没有。”
“可是确实有五个人登记了呀。” 于是我径直走出去,叫了第一个名字。五个人应声走到我的分诊台旁 —— 一位面色苍白的女人,带着四个衣着有些凌乱的小孩。
“你们都生病了吗?” 我怀疑地问道。
“是的。” 她声音微弱地回答,然后低下了头。
“好吧。” 我依旧半信半疑,“谁先来?” 他们一个个坐下,我按惯例询问了一些基本问题。可当问到具体的主诉症状时,情况变得有些模糊不清。
其中两个孩子说头痛,但并没有出现通常该有的抱头或尽量保持头部不动的肢体动作。另外两个孩子说耳朵痛,可只有一个能说清是哪只耳朵不舒服。孩子的母亲则抱怨自己咳嗽,但那咳嗽听起来像是刻意咳出来的。
眼前的景象透着不对劲。不过,医院的规定是不拒收任何患者,所以我还是为他们办理了就诊手续,并解释说因为救护车送来了几位危重病人,需要他们稍作等候。这位母亲回应道:“不着急,这里很暖和。” 说完,她转身领着孩子们走进了候诊室。
一种直觉驱使我查看了他们的病历 —— 地址一栏空空如也:这个家庭,一位母亲带着四个 4 到 10 岁的孩子,竟然无家可归。他们来医院不是为了看病,而是为了取暖。
【写作训练步骤】
一、通读全文,深度解读
读情节
开端:12 月 25 日圣诞节,医院异常安静,“我” 作为分诊护士清理候诊室后返回护士站准备喝热饮,却被告知有 5 名患者等待问诊。
发展:“我” 疑惑地叫号,发现是一位面色苍白的母亲带着四个衣着有些凌乱的孩子。问诊时,孩子们的病症描述模糊(头痛却不抱头、耳痛说不清哪只耳),母亲的咳嗽也像是刻意为之,“我” 心生怀疑。
转折:“我” 查看病历发现这家人无固定住址,才恍然大悟 —— 他们并非生病,而是无家可归,借着医院的政策(不拒收患者)来取暖。
高潮:“我” 回到护士站告知同事真相,引发大家的善意行动,为这家人准备温暖的食物和衣物。
续写开端:描写护士们得知真相后的反应(惊讶、同情),自发筹集食物、热水、保暖衣物,凝聚集体善意。
续写结局:阐述 “我” 带着大家准备的物品加入候诊室的 “聚会”,母子五人感受到温暖与尊重,“我” 领悟到医院不仅是治病救人的地方,更是传递人性温暖的港湾。
读人物
“我”(分诊护士,第一人称叙述者):细心敏锐、富有同情心,从最初的怀疑到发现真相后的共情,主动发起帮助,是善意的传递者和主题的领悟者。
母亲:隐忍坚强、为母则刚,为了让孩子取暖放下尊严,用 “看病” 为借口,内心充满无奈却不失礼貌,懂得感恩。
四个孩子(4-10 岁):天真懂事,配合母亲的 “表演”,不吵不闹,对温暖有着纯粹的渴望,容易被善意打动。
其他护士:善良热心、有同理心,得知真相后积极响应,主动贡献力量,是集体善意的重要组成部分。
读时态
全文以一般过去时为主,续写需严格保持一致。
读冲突
外在冲突:母子五人 “看病” 的表面需求与 “取暖” 的真实需求之间的矛盾;医院 “治病” 的核心功能与 “提供温暖” 的额外善意之间的碰撞。
内在冲突:“我” 初期对患者 “病症模糊” 的怀疑与发现真相后的同情之间的挣扎;母亲为孩子谋温暖与维护尊严之间的矛盾。
读情绪发展
疑惑不解(被告知有患者)→ 怀疑警惕(病症描述模糊)→ 恍然大悟(发现无家可归)→ 同情动容(知晓取暖真相)→(续写发展:主动行动→温暖传递)→(续写结局:欣慰满足→感悟升华)
读主题
困境中的善意微光(The Light of Kindness in Difficulty)
人性温暖与包容(Human Warmth and Tolerance)
医院的温度:不止于治病(The Temperature of Hospital: More Than Healing)
尊严与生存的平衡(The Balance Between Dignity and Survival)
二、【十句五定法】—— 搭建你的写作框架
请根据两个段落的开头语,构思并完成以下句子,以搭建清晰的段落结构。
段落
句子功能
你的句子构思
第一段
1. 接续 Hint1
描述 “我” 回到护士站,向同事们说明这家人无家可归、来医院取暖的真相,同事们纷纷露出惊讶与同情的表情。
2. 动作 / 心理推进
一位护士立刻拿出自己带的圣诞饼干,另一位翻出额外的保暖围巾,大家自发地凑齐了热水、零食和孩子们能穿的衣物。
3. 有效过渡
“他们肯定又冷又饿,圣诞节不该让孩子受苦。” 护士长轻声说道,提议把这些东西送到候诊室,给他们一个惊喜。
4. 有效衔接
“我” 接过大家准备的物品,心里暖暖的,既为自己最初的怀疑感到愧疚,也为同事们的善意感到欣慰。
5. 段落收束
“我” 端着装满热饮和食物的托盘,拿着叠好的衣物,走向候诊室,准备给这家人带去温暖。
第二段
6. 接续 Hint2
具体描写 “我” 走进候诊室,将热饮分给孩子们,孩子们眼睛一亮,母亲则有些局促地连声道谢。
7. 情节发展
“我” 解释这是大家的心意,告诉母亲不用拘谨,然后和孩子们一起分享饼干,听他们小声谈论着从未见过的圣诞装饰。
8. 主题升华
“我” 看着孩子们捧着热饮、裹着围巾的开心模样,领悟到善意无需惊天动地,一句关心、一份温暖就能照亮困境中的人。
9. 结局呈现
临走时,母亲紧紧握住 “我” 的手,眼里含着泪水,说这是他们过得最温暖的一个圣诞节,承诺以后不会再用这种方式麻烦医院。
10. 富有余韵的结尾
用一句感悟式句子收尾,回扣主题(如:那个圣诞节,医院的温暖不仅驱散了冬日的寒冷,更让我明白,人性的善意才是最治愈的 “良药”)。
三、【微写作训练】—— 打磨你的语言(中英文对称版)
1. 人物心理描写(Psychological Description)
情绪类型(Emotion Type)
英文词块(English Chunk)
中文释义(Chinese Meaning)
适配情节(Applicable Plot)
怀疑警惕(Suspicion & Alertness)
I felt suspicious of their vague descriptions of symptoms.
我对他们模糊的症状描述感到怀疑。
问诊时病症说不清时
Doubt crept in as none of the kids showed typical signs of illness.
没有孩子表现出典型的生病迹象,疑虑油然而生。
观察孩子状态时
同情动容(Sympathy & Touch)
My heart ached for the homeless family, struggling to stay warm on Christmas.
想到这家人无家可归,在圣诞节艰难取暖,我心生疼惜。
发现真相后
A surge of sympathy washed over me as I imagined their hardship.
想象着他们的困境,一股同情涌上心头。
准备帮助他们时
欣慰满足(Relief & Satisfaction)
I felt deeply satisfied knowing we’d brought them warmth and dignity.
知道我们给他们带去了温暖和尊严,我深感满足。
看到他们开心时
Relief settled in as the mother’s tense shoulders relaxed with gratitude.
看到母亲因感激而紧绷的肩膀放松下来,我感到释然。
互动后母亲放下戒备时
2. 情感描写(Emotional Description)
情感类型(Emotion Type)
英文词块(English Chunk)
中文释义(Chinese Meaning)
适配情节(Applicable Plot)
疑惑不解(Confusion & Puzzlement)
Confusion clouded my mind as they gave unclear answers about their illnesses.
他们对病情的回答含糊不清,我一头雾水。
问诊过程中
I was puzzled why a family of five would show up with such vague symptoms.
一家五人都症状模糊,我很困惑。
叫号后看到一家人时
无奈隐忍(Helplessness & Restraint)
The mother’s weak voice and lowered head revealed her helplessness.
母亲微弱的声音和低垂的头,流露出她的无奈。
母亲回答问题时
She struggled to hide her embarrassment, pretending to have a cough.
她努力掩饰尴尬,刻意咳了几声。
母亲刻意表现生病时
温暖感激(Warmth & Gratitude)
Warmth spread through the waiting room as we handed out hot drinks.
我们递出热饮时,候诊室里弥漫着温暖。
传递物品时
Tears of gratitude glistened in the mother’s eyes as she thanked us repeatedly.
母亲眼里闪烁着感激的泪水,一遍遍地向我们道谢。
接受帮助后
3. 动作描写(Action Description)
动作场景(Action Scene)
英文词块(English Chunk)
中文释义(Chinese Meaning)
适配情节(Applicable Plot)
问诊互动(Consultation & Interaction)
The mother lowered her head weakly, avoiding direct eye contact.
母亲虚弱地低下头,避开直接的眼神接触。
回答 “是否生病” 时
The kids sat quietly, fidgeting slightly, not holding their heads or ears.
孩子们安静地坐着,微微有些坐立不安,没有抱头或捂耳朵的动作。
描述病症时
善意行动(Kind Actions)
Nurses rummaged through their bags, pulling out snacks and warm scarves.
护士们翻找自己的包,拿出零食和温暖的围巾。
筹集物品时
I carried a tray of hot drinks and folded clothes, walking gently into the waiting room.
我端着一盘热饮和叠好的衣服,轻轻走进候诊室。
送去帮助时
接受与回应(Acceptance & Response)
The mother reached out trembling hands to take the hot drink, her fingers cold.
母亲伸出颤抖的手接过热饮,手指冰凉。
接过热饮时
The kids’ eyes lit up, reaching for the snacks cautiously but eagerly.
孩子们眼睛一亮,小心翼翼却又急切地伸手去拿零食。
看到食物时
4. 环境象征描写(Symbolic Environmental Description)
象征意象(Symbolic Image)
英文表达(English Expression)
中文释义(Chinese Meaning)
象征意义(Symbolic Meaning)
医院的温暖(Hospital Warmth)
The warm air in the hospital symbolized a safe haven for the homeless family.
医院里温暖的空气,象征着无家可归的一家人的安全避风港。
困境中的庇护与希望
热饮与食物(Hot Drinks & Food)
Hot drinks and snacks were more than necessities—they symbolized care and kindness.
热饮和零食不仅是生活必需品,更象征着关心与善意。
人性的温暖与互助
圣诞氛围(Christmas Atmosphere)
The quiet Christmas in the hospital represented the loneliness of the homeless, while the nurses’ kindness turned it into a celebration.
医院里安静的圣诞节,代表着无家可归者的孤独,而护士们的善意将其变成了一场温馨的 “庆典”。
孤独与救赎、寒冷与温暖的对比
凌乱的衣物(Rumpled Clothing)
The kids’ rumpled clothing symbolized their difficult life and lack of stable shelter.
孩子们凌乱的衣物,象征着他们艰难的生活和缺乏稳定的住所。
生存的困境与无奈
5. 子训练:为故事注入灵魂(Sub-Training: Inject Soul into the Story)
训练一:环境描写・烘托心情(Environmental Description・Highlight Mood)
心情(Mood)
可选词汇(Optional Vocabulary)
英文造句(English Sentence-Making)
中文造句(Chinese Sentence-Making)
疑惑、冰冷(Confusion & Cold)
寒冷的空气(cold air);空旷的候诊室(empty waiting room);僵硬的沉默(stiff silence)
Cold air seeped into the empty waiting room, and stiff silence hung between us as the family gave vague answers, making me more suspicious.
寒冷的空气渗入空旷的候诊室,一家人回答含糊,我们之间弥漫着僵硬的沉默,让我更加怀疑。
温暖、动容(Warmth & Touch)
温热的饮品(warm drinks);柔和的灯光(soft lighting);轻声的道谢(soft thanks)
Soft lighting illuminated the waiting room, and the warmth of the drinks in our hands mixed with the mother’s soft thanks, melting the cold of the winter day.
柔和的灯光照亮了候诊室,手中饮品的温热与母亲轻声的道谢交织在一起,融化了冬日的寒冷。
欣慰、满足(Relief & Satisfaction)
孩子们的笑声(children’s laughter);温暖的围巾(warm scarves);明亮的眼神(bright eyes)
Children’s laughter echoed as they wrapped themselves in warm scarves, their bright eyes reflecting the kindness around them, filling my heart with satisfaction.
孩子们裹着温暖的围巾,笑声回荡,明亮的眼睛映照着周围的善意,我心中满是满足。
训练二:人物刻画・于细微处见真情(Character Portrayal・Truth in Details)
抽象描述(Abstract Description)
英文具体表达(Specific English Expression)
中文具体表达(Specific Chinese Expression)
母亲很无奈(The mother was helpless)
She rubbed her cold hands together, her voice trembling as she said “yes” to being sick, avoiding my eyes.
她搓着冰冷的双手,声音颤抖地回答 “是”,避开了我的目光。
护士们很热心(The nurses were enthusiastic)
One nurse pulled a woolen scarf from her bag, another heated up milk, and they chatted softly, making sure to include something for each child.
一位护士从包里拿出羊毛围巾,另一位加热了牛奶,她们轻声交谈着,确保每个孩子都能分到东西。
孩子们很懂事(The kids were sensible)
The oldest child helped the younger ones sit straight, not complaining or reaching for snacks until we offered them.
最大的孩子帮弟弟妹妹坐端正,直到我们递上零食,他们才没有抱怨也没有伸手去拿。
仿写示例(Example of Imitation)
英文仿写(English Imitation):The little girl held the hot cocoa tightly with both hands, her cheeks turning pink as she smiled shyly, whispering “thank you” in a soft voice.
中文仿写(Chinese Imitation):小女孩双手紧紧捧着热可可,脸颊泛起红晕,害羞地笑了笑,用轻柔的声音小声说 “谢谢”。
训练三:情感表达・找到 “高级替身”(Emotional Expression・Find "Advanced Replacements")
基础词汇(Basic Vocabulary)
高级替换词(Advanced Replacements)
英文例句升级(English Sentence Upgrade)
中文例句升级(Chinese Sentence Upgrade)
sad(难过的)
heartwrenching(令人心碎的);grievous(令人悲痛的)
Original: I was sad for the homeless family.Upgraded: I felt heartwrenching and grievous for the homeless family, spending Christmas in the cold just to find a warm place.
原句:我为这家人无家可归感到难过。升级句:想到这家人为了找个温暖的地方,在寒冷中度过圣诞节,我感到既心碎又悲痛。
happy(开心的)
overjoyed(欣喜若狂的);delighted(满心欢喜的)
Original: The kids were happy to get snacks.Upgraded: The kids were overjoyed and delighted to receive the snacks and warm drinks, their eyes lighting up like stars.
原句:孩子们得到零食很开心。升级句:孩子们收到零食和热饮,欣喜若狂、满心欢喜,眼睛亮得像星星。
grateful(感激的)
deeply indebted(深怀感激的);profoundly thankful(万分感激的)
Original: The mother was grateful for our help.Upgraded: The mother was deeply indebted and profoundly thankful for our kindness, saying it was the warmest Christmas they’d ever had.
原句:母亲很感激我们的帮助。升级句:母亲对我们的善意深怀感激、万分感谢,说这是他们过过的最温暖的圣诞节。
训练四:动作细节・让情感可视化(Action Details・Visualize Emotions)
情境(Situation)
直白版(Plain Version)
细节版英文(Detailed English Version)
细节版中文(Detailed Chinese Version)
母亲刻意表现生病
The mother pretended to cough.
The mother cleared her throat softly, then forced a dry cough, her shoulders tensing as if she was afraid of being seen through.
母亲轻轻清了清嗓子,然后刻意干咳了几声,肩膀紧绷着,仿佛怕被看穿。
护士递上热饮
A nurse gave the mother a hot drink.
A nurse held out a steaming cup of hot cocoa, her voice gentle: “It’s warm—take it slowly.” The mother’s fingers brushed the cup, and she hesitated for a second before taking it tightly.
一位护士递过一杯冒着热气的热可可,声音温柔:“暖暖的,慢慢喝。” 母亲的手指碰到杯子,迟疑了一秒才紧紧握住。
训练五:象征与隐喻・让主题更深刻(Symbolism & Metaphor・Deepen the Theme)
抽象概念(Abstract Concept)
英文象征表达(English Symbolic Expression)
中文象征表达(Chinese Symbolic Expression)
善意的力量(The Power of Kindness)
The hot drinks and warm clothes we gave them were like little flames, lighting up their cold Christmas and restoring their faith in humanity.
我们送去的热饮和衣物,就像一簇簇小火苗,照亮了他们寒冷的圣诞节,也重拾了他们对人性的信心。
尊严与温暖(Dignity & Warmth)
The mother’s pretense of being sick was not a lie, but a desperate plea for dignity while seeking warmth for her children.
母亲假装生病并非欺骗,而是在为孩子寻求温暖时,对尊严的一丝挣扎与渴求。
医院的温度(The Temperature of Hospital)
The hospital was more than a place of medicine—it was a shelter of kindness, where warmth and care healed more than physical pain.
医院不止是治病救人的地方,更是善意的避风港,这里的温暖与关怀,能治愈的不止是身体的病痛。
四、【微动作训练】—— 让情感在行动中展现
训练一:动作 - 情绪绑定
(请根据中文提示,补全英文句子,完成 “动作 - 情绪” 的精准绑定)
1. 场景:怀疑问诊英文:I leaned forward slightly (微微前倾身体), my eyes narrowing with suspicion (眼神带着怀疑眯起) as I asked again about their symptoms (再次询问他们的症状).
中文:我微微前倾身体,眼神带着怀疑眯起,再次询问他们的症状。
2. 场景:筹集善意英文:Nurses hurried around (匆匆忙忙地忙活), their hands moving quickly (双手快速忙碌着) as they gathered snacks and warm clothes (收集零食和保暖衣物), faces filled with sympathy (脸上满是同情).
中文:护士们匆匆忙忙地忙活,双手快速忙碌着收集零食和保暖衣物,脸上满是同情。
3. 场景:感激回应中文:母亲紧紧握住我的手(clutched my hand tightly),指尖因用力而泛白(her fingertips white from pressure),声音哽咽地表达感谢(her voice choking as she thanked me)。
英文:The mother clutched my hand tightly, her fingertips white from pressure, her voice choking as she thanked me.
训练二:细节放大镜
(请将简单的动作,通过添加 1-2 个细节进行升级,使其更具表现力)
1. 原句: I checked the chart.细节升级: I picked up the patient chart (拿起病历本), flipping through the pages quickly (快速翻阅着页面), my heart sinking (心里一沉) when I saw the blank address section (看到地址栏是空的).
2. 原句: The kids ate snacks.细节升级: The kids sat cross-legged on the bench (盘腿坐在长椅上), holding the snacks carefully (小心翼翼地拿着零食), taking small bites (小口小口地吃着), their eyes shining with happiness (眼里闪烁着幸福的光芒).
你的练习:
原句: I talked with the mother.
细节升级: I sat down beside the mother (在母亲身边坐下), my voice soft and gentle (声音柔和而温柔) as I told her the snacks were from all the nurses (告诉她零食是所有护士的心意), watching her shoulders relax slowly (看着她的肩膀慢慢放松下来).
训练三:综合情景创作
(请运用以上所有技巧,为以下情景创作一个包含微动作描写的句子)
情景:圣诞节傍晚,母子五人准备离开医院,孩子们穿着护士们送的围巾,母亲手里提着剩余的食物,向 “我” 和其他护士挥手告别。要求:必须包含一个互动动作细节和一个面部表情细节,来表现温暖与感激。
你的创作:(参考:The mother waved at us repeatedly, a grateful smile spreading across her face as she held the food bag tightly, while the kids, wrapped in warm scarves, shouted “Merry Christmas” happily, their hands waving excitedly.)
【微动作训练】参考答案
训练一:动作 - 情绪绑定
我微微前倾身体,眼神带着怀疑眯起,再次询问他们的症状。I leaned forward slightly, my eyes narrowing with suspicion as I asked again about their symptoms.
护士们匆匆忙忙地忙活,双手快速忙碌着收集零食和保暖衣物,脸上满是同情。Nurses hurried around, their hands moving quickly as they gathered snacks and warm clothes, faces filled with sympathy.
母亲紧紧握住我的手,指尖因用力而泛白,声音哽咽地表达感谢。The mother clutched my hand tightly, her fingertips white from pressure, her voice choking as she thanked me.
训练二:细节放大镜
原句: I checked the chart.细节升级: I picked up the patient chart, flipping through the pages quickly, my heart sinking when I saw the blank address section.
原句: The kids ate snacks.细节升级: The kids sat cross-legged on the bench, holding the snacks carefully, taking small bites, their eyes shining with happiness.
你的练习:原句: I talked with the mother.细节升级: I sat down beside the mother, my voice soft and gentle as I told her the snacks were from all the nurses, watching her shoulders relax slowly.
训练三:综合情景创作
你的创作 (参考示例):The mother waved at us repeatedly, a grateful smile spreading across her face as she held the food bag tightly, while the kids, wrapped in warm scarves, shouted “Merry Christmas” happily, their hands waving excitedly.
五、综合训练与范文引导
训练:补全段落
Paragraph 1
Back to the nurses’ station, I mentioned the family in the waiting room. Complaints turned to compassion. The team went into action, much as we do when there’s a medical emergency. But this one was a Christmas emergency. Hot drinks, fruits, candy, and teddy-bear buttons were laid on the table of the waiting room, which was turned into a banquet within minutes, candles flickering beside the plastic Christmas tree. The mother’s eyes filled with tears; the children stared, stunned by the sudden magic. We took turns accompanying them, singing and laughing.
回到护士站,我向等候室里的家属说明情况。原本的抱怨逐渐转变为同情。团队立即采取行动,就像我们处理医疗紧急情况时那样。但这次是圣诞节的紧急情况。热饮、水果、糖果和泰迪熊徽章被摆放在等候室的桌子上,几分钟内这里就变成了宴会厅,塑料圣诞树旁的蜡烛摇曳生辉。母亲的眼眶泛起泪光;孩子们呆立当场,被这突如其来的魔法所震撼。我们轮流陪伴他们,边唱边笑。
Paragraph 2
Then it was my turn to join the “party” in the waiting room. I knelt beside the four-year-old girl clutching a stuffed nurse-bear. “I want to be like you,” she whispered. I told her to keep her dream. We colored reindeer, shared chocolate, and laughed when cocoa spilled. When the shelter van finally arrived, the little girl hugged my neck. “Thanks for being our angel,” she breathed. The door closed on waving hands and one last “Merry Christmas” I walked back to the triage desk, heart glowing brighter than the hospital lights — reminded that sometimes the best medicine is simply human kindness.
随后轮到我加入候诊室的“聚会”。我跪在四岁女孩身旁,她紧抱着一只填充护士熊。“我想成为像你这样的护士,”她轻声说道。我鼓励她坚持梦想。我们给驯鹿上色、分享巧克力,当可可酱洒落时也开怀大笑。当救护车终于抵达时,小女孩紧紧抱住我的脖子。“谢谢你成为我们的天使,”她轻声说道。门在挥手致意和最后一声“圣诞快乐”中关闭,我回到分诊台,心中光芒比医院灯光更明亮——这提醒我,有时最好的良药就是人间温情。
1
学科网(北京)股份有限公司
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湖北省鄂东南联盟2025年秋季高三年级期中考试
读后续写二次开发学案学生版
【真题再现】
阅读下面的材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
December 25 was unusually quiet except for the nurses complaining about holiday shifts (轮值). I was a triage (分类) nurse that day and had just been out to the waiting room to clean up. Since there were no patients waiting to be seen at the time, I came back to the nurses’ station for hot drinks. Just then an admitting clerk came back and told me I had five patients waiting to be evaluated.
I complained, “Five, how did I get five; I was just out there and no one was there.”
“Well, there are five signed in. “So I went straight out and called the first name. Five bodies showed up at my triage desk, a pale woman and four small children in somewhat rumpled clothing.
“Are you all sick?” I asked suspiciously.
“Yes,” she said weakly, and lowered her head.
“Okay,” I replied, unconvinced, “who’s first?” One by one they sat down, and I asked the usual basic questions. When it came to descriptions of their presenting problems, things got a little vague.
Two of the children had headaches, but the headaches weren’t accompanied by the normal body language of holding the head or trying to keep it still. Two children had earaches, but only one could tell me which ear was affected. The mother complained of a cough, but seemed to work to produce it.
Something was wrong with the picture. Our hospital policy, however, was not to turn away any patient, so I admitted them in and explained the wait because ambulances had brought in several more critical patients. The mother responded, “Take your time; it’s warm here.” She turned and guided her children into the waiting room.
An instinct sent me to the chart — no address: the family, a mother with her four children aged 4-10, was homeless. They came for warmth, not medicine.
1.续写词数应为150个左右;
2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Back to the nurses’ station, I mentioned the family in the waiting room.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Then it was my turn to join the “party” in the waiting room.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
【原文翻译】
12 月 25 日这天异常安静,只有护士们在抱怨节假日轮值。那天我担任分诊护士,刚去候诊室清理完卫生。由于当时没有等待就诊的患者,我回到护士站准备喝杯热饮。就在这时,一位挂号员回来告诉我,有五位患者正等着分诊评估。
我抱怨道:“五个?怎么会有五个患者?我刚才就在外面,明明一个人都没有。”
“可是确实有五个人登记了呀。” 于是我径直走出去,叫了第一个名字。五个人应声走到我的分诊台旁 —— 一位面色苍白的女人,带着四个衣着有些凌乱的小孩。
“你们都生病了吗?” 我怀疑地问道。
“是的。” 她声音微弱地回答,然后低下了头。
“好吧。” 我依旧半信半疑,“谁先来?” 他们一个个坐下,我按惯例询问了一些基本问题。可当问到具体的主诉症状时,情况变得有些模糊不清。
其中两个孩子说头痛,但并没有出现通常该有的抱头或尽量保持头部不动的肢体动作。另外两个孩子说耳朵痛,可只有一个能说清是哪只耳朵不舒服。孩子的母亲则抱怨自己咳嗽,但那咳嗽听起来像是刻意咳出来的。
眼前的景象透着不对劲。不过,医院的规定是不拒收任何患者,所以我还是为他们办理了就诊手续,并解释说因为救护车送来了几位危重病人,需要他们稍作等候。这位母亲回应道:“不着急,这里很暖和。” 说完,她转身领着孩子们走进了候诊室。
一种直觉驱使我查看了他们的病历 —— 地址一栏空空如也:这个家庭,一位母亲带着四个 4 到 10 岁的孩子,竟然无家可归。他们来医院不是为了看病,而是为了取暖。
【写作训练步骤】
一、通读全文,深度解读
1. 读情节
开端
发展
转折
续写第一段
续写第二段
2. 读人物
“我”
母亲
四个孩子
其他护士
3. 读时态
全文以________________为主。
4. 读冲突
外在冲突
内在冲突
读情绪发展
疑惑不解(被告知有患者)→ 怀疑警惕(病症描述模糊)→ 恍然大悟(发现无家可归)→ 同情动容(知晓取暖真相)→(续写发展:____________→______________)→
(续写结局:___________→____________)
读主题
_______________________________
二、【十句五定法】—— 搭建你的写作框架
请根据两个段落的开头语,构思并完成以下句子,以搭建清晰的段落结构。
段落
句子功能
你的句子构思
第一段
1. 接续 Hint1
描述 “我” 回到护士站,向同事们说明这____________________________________________________________________。
2. 动作 / 心理推进
一位护士立刻_________________________,另一位______________________________________,大家自发地凑齐了热水、零食和孩子们能穿的衣物。
3. 有效过渡
“_________________________________________。” 护士长轻声说道,提议把这些东西送到候诊室,给他们一个惊喜。
4. 有效衔接
“我” 接过大家准备的物品,心里__________,既为自己最初的怀疑感到______,也为同事们的善意感到______。
5. 段落收束
“我” 端着______________________,拿着_______________________,走向候诊室,准备给这家人带去温暖。
第二段
6. 接续 Hint2
具体描写 “我” 走进候诊室,将热饮分给孩子们,孩子们___________,母亲____________________。
7. 情节发展
“我” 解释___________,告诉母亲______________,然后和孩子们一起________________,听他们______________________________。
8. 主题升华
“我” 看着孩子们________________________,领悟到_____________________,一句关心、一份温暖就能照亮困境中的人。
9. 结局呈现
临走时,母亲________________________,眼里____________________,说这是________________________________________。
10. 富有余韵的结尾
用一句感悟式句子收尾,回扣主题(如:________________________________________________________________________________)。
三、【微写作训练】—— 打磨你的语言(中英文对称版)
1. 人物心理描写(Psychological Description)
情绪类型(Emotion Type)
英文词块(English Chunk)
中文释义(Chinese Meaning)
适配情节(Applicable Plot)
怀疑警惕(Suspicion & Alertness)
我对他们模糊的症状描述感到怀疑。
问诊时病症说不清时
没有孩子表现出典型的生病迹象,疑虑油然而生。
观察孩子状态时
同情动容(Sympathy & Touch)
想到这家人无家可归,在圣诞节艰难取暖,我心生疼惜。
发现真相后
想象着他们的困境,一股同情涌上心头。
准备帮助他们时
欣慰满足(Relief & Satisfaction)
知道我们给他们带去了温暖和尊严,我深感满足。
看到他们开心时
看到母亲因感激而紧绷的肩膀放松下来,我感到释然。
互动后母亲放下戒备时
2. 情感描写(Emotional Description)
情感类型(Emotion Type)
英文词块(English Chunk)
中文释义(Chinese Meaning)
适配情节(Applicable Plot)
疑惑不解(Confusion & Puzzlement)
他们对病情的回答含糊不清,我一头雾水。
问诊过程中
一家五人都症状模糊,我很困惑。
叫号后看到一家人时
无奈隐忍(Helplessness & Restraint)
.
母亲微弱的声音和低垂的头,流露出她的无奈。
母亲回答问题时
她努力掩饰尴尬,刻意咳了几声。
母亲刻意表现生病时
温暖感激(Warmth & Gratitude)
我们递出热饮时,候诊室里弥漫着温暖。
传递物品时
母亲眼里闪烁着感激的泪水,一遍遍地向我们道谢。
接受帮助后
3. 动作描写(Action Description)
动作场景(Action Scene)
英文词块(English Chunk)
中文释义(Chinese Meaning)
适配情节(Applicable Plot)
问诊互动(Consultation & Interaction)
母亲虚弱地低下头,避开直接的眼神接触。
回答 “是否生病” 时
孩子们安静地坐着,微微有些坐立不安,没有抱头或捂耳朵的动作。
描述病症时
善意行动(Kind Actions)
护士们翻找自己的包,拿出零食和温暖的围巾。
筹集物品时
我端着一盘热饮和叠好的衣服,轻轻走进候诊室。
送去帮助时
接受与回应(Acceptance & Response)
母亲伸出颤抖的手接过热饮,手指冰凉。
接过热饮时
孩子们眼睛一亮,小心翼翼却又急切地伸手去拿零食。
看到食物时
4. 环境象征描写(Symbolic Environmental Description)
象征意象(Symbolic Image)
英文表达(English Expression)
中文释义(Chinese Meaning)
象征意义(Symbolic Meaning)
医院的温暖(Hospital Warmth)
医院里温暖的空气,象征着无家可归的一家人的安全避风港。
困境中的庇护与希望
热饮与食物(Hot Drinks & Food)
热饮和零食不仅是生活必需品,更象征着关心与善意。
人性的温暖与互助
圣诞氛围(Christmas Atmosphere)
医院里安静的圣诞节,代表着无家可归者的孤独,而护士们的善意将其变成了一场温馨的 “庆典”。
孤独与救赎、寒冷与温暖的对比
凌乱的衣物(Rumpled Clothing)
孩子们凌乱的衣物,象征着他们艰难的生活和缺乏稳定的住所。
生存的困境与无奈
5. 子训练:为故事注入灵魂(Sub-Training: Inject Soul into the Story)
训练一:环境描写・烘托心情(Environmental Description・Highlight Mood)
心情(Mood)
可选词汇(Optional Vocabulary)
英文造句(English Sentence-Making)
中文造句(Chinese Sentence-Making)
疑惑、冰冷(Confusion & Cold)
寒冷的空气(cold air);空旷的候诊室(empty waiting room);僵硬的沉默(stiff silence)
寒冷的空气渗入空旷的候诊室,一家人回答含糊,我们之间弥漫着僵硬的沉默,让我更加怀疑。
温暖、动容(Warmth & Touch)
温热的饮品(warm drinks);柔和的灯光(soft lighting);轻声的道谢(soft thanks)
柔和的灯光照亮了候诊室,手中饮品的温热与母亲轻声的道谢交织在一起,融化了冬日的寒冷。
欣慰、满足(Relief & Satisfaction)
孩子们的笑声(children’s laughter);温暖的围巾(warm scarves);明亮的眼神(bright eyes)
孩子们裹着温暖的围巾,笑声回荡,明亮的眼睛映照着周围的善意,我心中满是满足。
训练二:人物刻画・于细微处见真情(Character Portrayal・Truth in Details)
抽象描述(Abstract Description)
英文具体表达(Specific English Expression)
中文具体表达(Specific Chinese Expression)
母亲很无奈(The mother was helpless)
她搓着冰冷的双手,声音颤抖地回答 “是”,避开了我的目光。
护士们很热心(The nurses were enthusiastic)
一位护士从包里拿出羊毛围巾,另一位加热了牛奶,她们轻声交谈着,确保每个孩子都能分到东西。
孩子们很懂事(The kids were sensible)
最大的孩子帮弟弟妹妹坐端正,直到我们递上零食,他们才没有抱怨也没有伸手去拿。
仿写示例(Example of Imitation)
英文仿写(English Imitation):The little girl held the hot cocoa tightly with both hands, her cheeks turning pink as she smiled shyly, whispering “thank you” in a soft voice.
中文仿写(Chinese Imitation):小女孩双手紧紧捧着热可可,脸颊泛起红晕,害羞地笑了笑,用轻柔的声音小声说 “谢谢”。
训练三:情感表达・找到 “高级替身”(Emotional Expression・Find "Advanced Replacements")
基础词汇(Basic Vocabulary)
高级替换词(Advanced Replacements)
英文例句升级(English Sentence Upgrade)
中文例句升级(Chinese Sentence Upgrade)
sad(难过的)
heartwrenching(令人心碎的);grievous(令人悲痛的)
Original: I was sad for the homeless family.
Upgraded:
原句:我为这家人无家可归感到难过。升级句:想到这家人为了找个温暖的地方,在寒冷中度过圣诞节,我感到既心碎又悲痛。
happy(开心的)
overjoyed(欣喜若狂的);delighted(满心欢喜的)
Original: The kids were happy to get snacks.
Upgraded:
原句:孩子们得到零食很开心。升级句:孩子们收到零食和热饮,欣喜若狂、满心欢喜,眼睛亮得像星星。
grateful(感激的)
deeply indebted(深怀感激的);profoundly thankful(万分感激的)
Original: The mother was grateful for our help.
Upgraded:
原句:母亲很感激我们的帮助。升级句:母亲对我们的善意深怀感激、万分感谢,说这是他们过过的最温暖的圣诞节。
训练四:动作细节・让情感可视化(Action Details・Visualize Emotions)
情境(Situation)
直白版(Plain Version)
细节版英文(Detailed English Version)
细节版中文(Detailed Chinese Version)
母亲刻意表现生病
The mother pretended to cough.
母亲轻轻清了清嗓子,然后刻意干咳了几声,肩膀紧绷着,仿佛怕被看穿。
护士递上热饮
A nurse gave the mother a hot drink.
一位护士递过一杯冒着热气的热可可,声音温柔:“暖暖的,慢慢喝。” 母亲的手指碰到杯子,迟疑了一秒才紧紧握住。
训练五:象征与隐喻・让主题更深刻(Symbolism & Metaphor・Deepen the Theme)
抽象概念(Abstract Concept)
英文象征表达(English Symbolic Expression)
中文象征表达(Chinese Symbolic Expression)
善意的力量(The Power of Kindness)
我们送去的热饮和衣物,就像一簇簇小火苗,照亮了他们寒冷的圣诞节,也重拾了他们对人性的信心。
尊严与温暖(Dignity & Warmth)
母亲假装生病并非欺骗,而是在为孩子寻求温暖时,对尊严的一丝挣扎与渴求。
医院的温度(The Temperature of Hospital)
医院不止是治病救人的地方,更是善意的避风港,这里的温暖与关怀,能治愈的不止是身体的病痛。
四、【微动作训练】—— 让情感在行动中展现
训练一:动作 - 情绪绑定
(请根据中文提示,补全英文句子,完成 “动作 - 情绪” 的精准绑定)
1. 场景:怀疑问诊英文:I _______ forward ________ (微微前倾身体), my eyes __________ with ____________ (眼神带着怀疑眯起) as I asked again about their symptoms (再次询问他们的症状).
中文:我微微前倾身体,眼神带着怀疑眯起,再次询问他们的症状。
2. 场景:筹集善意英文:Nurses _________ around (匆匆忙忙地忙活), their hands ________ quickly (双手快速忙碌着) as they _________ snacks and warm clothes (收集零食和保暖衣物), faces ______________ sympathy (脸上满是同情).
中文:护士们匆匆忙忙地忙活,双手快速忙碌着收集零食和保暖衣物,脸上满是同情。
3. 场景:感激回应
中文:母亲紧紧握住我的手(clutched my hand tightly),指尖因用力而泛白(her fingertips white from pressure),声音哽咽地表达感谢(her voice choking as she thanked me)。
英文:The mother clutched my hand tightly, her fingertips white from pressure, her voice choking as she thanked me.
训练二:细节放大镜
(请将简单的动作,通过添加 1-2 个细节进行升级,使其更具表现力)
1. 原句: I checked the chart.细节升级: I picked up the patient chart (拿起病历本), flipping through the pages quickly (快速翻阅着页面), my heart sinking (心里一沉) when I saw the blank address section (看到地址栏是空的).
2. 原句: The kids ate snacks.细节升级: The kids sat cross-legged on the bench (盘腿坐在长椅上), holding the snacks carefully (小心翼翼地拿着零食), taking small bites (小口小口地吃着), their eyes shining with happiness (眼里闪烁着幸福的光芒).
你的练习:
原句: I talked with the mother.
细节升级: I sat down beside the mother (在母亲身边坐下), my voice soft and gentle (声音柔和而温柔) as I told her the snacks were from all the nurses (告诉她零食是所有护士的心意), watching her shoulders relax slowly (看着她的肩膀慢慢放松下来).
训练三:综合情景创作
(请运用以上所有技巧,为以下情景创作一个包含微动作描写的句子)
情景:圣诞节傍晚,母子五人准备离开医院,孩子们穿着护士们送的围巾,母亲手里提着剩余的食物,向 “我” 和其他护士挥手告别。要求:必须包含一个互动动作细节和一个面部表情细节,来表现温暖与感激。
你的创作:(参考:The mother waved at us repeatedly, a grateful smile spreading across her face as she held the food bag tightly, while the kids, wrapped in warm scarves, shouted “Merry Christmas” happily, their hands waving excitedly.)
【微动作训练】参考答案
训练一:动作 - 情绪绑定
我微微前倾身体,眼神带着怀疑眯起,再次询问他们的症状。I leaned forward slightly, my eyes narrowing with suspicion as I asked again about their symptoms.
护士们匆匆忙忙地忙活,双手快速忙碌着收集零食和保暖衣物,脸上满是同情。Nurses hurried around, their hands moving quickly as they gathered snacks and warm clothes, faces filled with sympathy.
母亲紧紧握住我的手,指尖因用力而泛白,声音哽咽地表达感谢。The mother clutched my hand tightly, her fingertips white from pressure, her voice choking as she thanked me.
训练二:细节放大镜
原句: I checked the chart.细节升级: I picked up the patient chart, flipping through the pages quickly, my heart sinking when I saw the blank address section.
原句: The kids ate snacks.细节升级: The kids sat cross-legged on the bench, holding the snacks carefully, taking small bites, their eyes shining with happiness.
你的练习:原句: I talked with the mother.细节升级: I sat down beside the mother, my voice soft and gentle as I told her the snacks were from all the nurses, watching her shoulders relax slowly.
训练三:综合情景创作
你的创作 (参考示例):The mother waved at us repeatedly, a grateful smile spreading across her face as she held the food bag tightly, while the kids, wrapped in warm scarves, shouted “Merry Christmas” happily, their hands waving excitedly.
五、综合训练与范文引导
训练:补全段落
Paragraph 1
Back to the nurses’ station, I mentioned the family in the waiting room. ___________ turned to compassion. The team ______ ____ _______, much as we do when there’s a medical emergency. But this one was a Christmas emergency. Hot drinks, fruits, candy, and teddy-bear buttons ______ ____ ___ the table of the waiting room, which was ______ _____ a banquet within minutes, candles ________ beside the plastic Christmas tree. The mother’s eyes ______ _____ ______; the children __________, __________ by the sudden magic. We _______ -______ accompanying them, singing and laughing.
回到护士站,我向等候室里的家属说明情况。原本的抱怨逐渐转变为同情。团队立即采取行动,就像我们处理医疗紧急情况时那样。但这次是圣诞节的紧急情况。热饮、水果、糖果和泰迪熊徽章被摆放在等候室的桌子上,几分钟内这里就变成了宴会厅,塑料圣诞树旁的蜡烛摇曳生辉。母亲的眼眶泛起泪光;孩子们呆立当场,被这突如其来的魔法所震撼。我们轮流陪伴他们,边唱边笑。
Paragraph 2
Then it was my turn to join the “party” in the waiting room. I _____ beside the four-year-old girl ________ a stuffed nurse-bear. “I want to be like you,” she __________. I told her to _____ her ______. We _______ reindeer, ______ chocolate, and _______ when cocoa spilled. When the shelter van finally arrived, the little girl ________ my neck. “Thanks for being our angel,” she ________. The door closed on ______ hands and one last “Merry Christmas” I walked back to the triage desk, heart _______ brighter than the hospital lights — __________ that sometimes the best medicine is simply human kindness.
随后轮到我加入候诊室的“聚会”。我跪在四岁女孩身旁,她紧抱着一只填充护士熊。“我想成为像你这样的护士,”她轻声说道。我鼓励她坚持梦想。我们给驯鹿上色、分享巧克力,当可可酱洒落时也开怀大笑。当救护车终于抵达时,小女孩紧紧抱住我的脖子。“谢谢你成为我们的天使,”她轻声说道。门在挥手致意和最后一声“圣诞快乐”中关闭,我回到分诊台,心中光芒比医院灯光更明亮——这提醒我,有时最好的良药就是人间温情。
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