内容正文:
湖北省楚天协作体2025-2026学年度高三上学期期中考试
读后续写二次开发学案教师版
【真题再现】
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
It was late August and cold enough for the kids to be wrapped in extra sweatshirts, jackets, gloves and mittens. I was coaching a soccer team for kindergartners and first-graders. Little did I know that on that chilly afternoon, the children’s innocent and sincere actions showed me the power of unconditional acceptance.
It was the day of our first practice. I sat the kids down on the bench. As was normally the case any time I was coaching a new team, we took the first few minutes to get to know one another. We went up and down the row a few times, each kid saying his or her name and the names of all the kids sitting to the left.
After a few minutes of this, I decided to put the kids to the ultimate test. I asked for a volunteer who thought he or she knew the names of all eleven kids on the team and could prove it to all of us right then. There was one brave six-year-old who felt up to the challenge. He was to start at the far-left end of the bench, go up to each kid, say that kid’s name and then shake his or her right hand.
Alex started off and was doing very well. While I stood behind him, he went down the row — Dylan, Micah, Sara, Beau and Danny — until he reached Ben, by far the smallest kid on the team. He stammered out Ben’s name without much trouble and reached out his right hand, but Ben would not extend his. I looked at Ben for a second, as did Alex and the rest of the kids on the bench, but he just sat there, his right hand hidden under the cuff (袖口) of his jacket.
“Ben, why don’t you let Alex shake your hand?” I asked. But Ben just sat there, looking first at Alex and then at me, and then at Alex once again.
“Ben, what’s the matter?” I asked.
注意:
1. 续写词数应为150个左右;
2. 请按如下格式在相应位置作答。
Finally, Ben stood up and whispered, “Coach, I was born without a right hand.”
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Amazingly, Ben replied with a bright and cheerful smile.
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【原文翻译】
八月末的天气已然寒冷,孩子们不得不裹上额外的运动衫、夹克,戴上手套和连指手套。我正在执教一支由幼儿园和一年级学生组成的足球队。我万万没有想到,在那个寒冷的下午,孩子们天真又真挚的举动,让我见证了无条件接纳的力量。
这是我们的第一次训练。我让孩子们坐在长椅上。和往常执教新球队一样,我们先用几分钟时间互相认识。我们沿着一排人来回轮流介绍自己,每个孩子都要说出自己的名字,以及坐在左边所有孩子的名字。
这样过了几分钟后,我决定给孩子们出一道终极考验。我询问是否有志愿者认为自己能叫出队里所有 11 名孩子的名字,并且能当场向大家证明。有一个勇敢的六岁男孩自告奋勇,觉得自己能胜任这个挑战。他要从长椅最左边开始,走到每个孩子面前,叫出对方的名字,然后和对方握右手。
亚历克斯率先开始,而且表现得非常好。我站在他身后,看着他依次走过 —— 迪伦、迈卡、萨拉、博、丹尼 —— 直到他走到本面前。本是队里个子最小的孩子。亚历克斯磕磕绊绊地说出了本的名字,然后伸出右手,但本却没有伸手回应。我看了本一眼,亚历克斯和长椅上其他孩子也一样,但他只是坐在那里,右手藏在夹克的袖口下。
“本,你为什么不让亚历克斯握你的手呢?” 我问道。但本依旧坐在那里,先看了看亚历克斯,又看了看我,然后再次看向亚历克斯。
“本,怎么了?” 我又问。
【写作训练步骤】
一、通读全文,深度解读
读情节
开端:八月末天气寒冷,“我” 担任幼儿园和一年级足球队教练,首次训练时组织孩子们互相认识,通过 “说出自己和左侧同学名字” 的方式熟悉彼此。
发展:“我” 发起终极挑战,邀请能叫出所有 11 名队员名字并握手的孩子尝试,6 岁的 Alex 勇敢应战,顺利叫出多名同学名字并握手,直到遇到队中最矮小的 Ben。
转折:Alex 准确叫出 Ben 的名字并伸出右手,Ben 却迟迟不伸手,右手一直藏在夹克袖口,“我” 两次询问原因,Ben 始终沉默。
高潮:Ben 起身轻声说出 “天生没有右手” 的真相,引发在场人员的反应,开启接纳与温暖的互动。
续写开端:描写 Ben 坦诚后的场景(教练的心疼、Alex 的惊讶、其他孩子的反应),孩子们用天真的行动表达接纳(如 Alex 换左手握手),化解 Ben 的尴尬。
续写结局:阐述 Ben 微笑回应后的互动(孩子们分享自身小缺点、主动与 Ben 互动),“我” 领悟童真背后无条件接纳的力量,Ben 逐渐敞开心扉融入集体。
读人物
“我”(教练,第一人称叙述者):善于引导、细心观察,注重团队凝聚力,是情节的推动者和主题的领悟者,见证孩子们的善良与接纳。
Alex(6 岁队员):勇敢主动、天真友善,面对突发情况能快速调整,用实际行动传递接纳,是孩子们善良品质的代表。
Ben(队中最矮小队员):敏感内向、内心自卑,因天生没有右手而隐藏自己,在集体的温暖中逐渐敞开心扉,展现出渴望被接纳的纯真。
其他队员:天真无邪、善良包容,没有偏见,用简单直接的方式表达善意,是 “无条件接纳” 主题的核心载体。
读时态
全文以一般过去时为主,续写需严格保持一致。
读冲突
外在冲突:Alex 主动握手与 Ben 拒绝伸手的矛盾;Ben “隐藏缺陷” 与 “被知晓真相” 的尴尬。
内在冲突:Ben 因天生没有右手产生的自卑与渴望被集体接纳的心理挣扎;“我” 担心场面尴尬与期待孩子们友善回应的忐忑。
读情绪发展
轻松愉快(初识互动)→ 期待兴奋(Alex 挑战)→ 尴尬疑惑(Ben 不伸手)→ 紧张忐忑(询问原因)→ 心疼温暖(Ben 坦诚)→(续写发展:接纳友善→轻松释然)→(续写结局:开心融入→感悟成长)
读主题
无条件接纳的力量(The Power of Unconditional Acceptance)
童真的善良与纯粹(The Kindness and Purity of Childhood Innocence)
自我接纳与集体包容(Self-Acceptance and Collective Tolerance)
善意互动的温暖治愈(The Warm Healing of Kind Interaction)
二、【十句五定法】—— 搭建你的写作框架
请根据两个段落的开头语,构思并完成以下句子,以搭建清晰的段落结构。
段落
句子功能
你的句子构思
第一段
1. 接续 Hint1
描述 Ben 说出真相后,全场的沉默(几秒的安静),“我” 的心疼,Alex 的惊讶表情,其他孩子的小声议论。
2. 动作 / 心理推进
Alex 愣了一下后,立刻收回右手,伸出左手,轻声说 “没关系,左手也能握手呀”,脸上没有丝毫嫌弃。
3. 有效过渡
其他孩子见状,纷纷起身围过来,有的说 “我也可以用左手和你握”,有的说 “我的右手也有点小伤疤呢”。
4. 有效衔接
Ben 看着伸出的一只只小手,眼神从躲闪变得柔和,慢慢抬起自己的左臂。
5. 段落收束
他轻轻握住 Alex 的左手,嘴角泛起一丝淡淡的笑意,现场的尴尬瞬间被温暖取代。
第二段
6. 接续 Hint2
具体描写 Ben 微笑着回应(“谢谢大家”),主动介绍自己的左臂也很有力,还能踢好足球。
7. 情节发展
孩子们热情邀请 Ben 一起训练,传球时特意放慢速度,耐心等待他接球,没有人再关注他的 “缺陷”。
8. 主题升华
“我” 看着孩子们毫无偏见的互动,领悟到童真的接纳最纯粹,不以外表或缺陷评判他人,才是最珍贵的善良。
9. 结局呈现
训练结束时,Ben 主动和每个队员握手(用左臂轻抱或握手腕),脸上洋溢着自信的笑容,完全融入了集体。
10. 富有余韵的结尾
用一句感悟式句子收尾,回扣主题(如:那个寒冷的下午,孩子们用天真的行动告诉我,真正的接纳,是看见你的不同,却依然热烈地欢迎你)。
三、【微写作训练】—— 打磨你的语言(中英文对称版)
1. 人物心理描写(Psychological Description)
情绪类型(Emotion Type)
英文词块(English Chunk)
中文释义(Chinese Meaning)
适配情节(Applicable Plot)
勇敢期待(Bravery & Expectation)
Alex’s eyes sparkled with courage as he volunteered for the challenge.
Alex 主动应战,眼里闪烁着勇敢的光芒。
接受挑战时
He felt confident, convinced he could remember all the names.
他充满自信,坚信自己能记住所有名字。
开始握手互动时
自卑忐忑(Inferiority & Anxiety)
Ben’s heart raced with anxiety, fearing others would mock his missing hand.
Ben 心跳加速,担心别人嘲笑他缺少右手。
被要求握手时
He felt ashamed of his disability, hiding his left arm tightly.
他为自己的缺陷感到羞愧,紧紧藏着左臂。
沉默回应教练询问时
温暖释然(Warmth & Relief)
Ben felt a surge of relief as Alex offered his left hand.
看到 Alex 伸出左手,Ben 心中涌起一阵释然。
被接纳时
A sense of belonging washed over him as the kids surrounded him.
孩子们围过来时,他感受到了强烈的归属感。
融入集体时
2. 情感描写(Emotional Description)
情感类型(Emotion Type)
英文词块(English Chunk)
中文释义(Chinese Meaning)
适配情节(Applicable Plot)
轻松愉快(Relaxation & Joy)
The kids chatted happily, enjoying the name-learning game.
孩子们开心地聊着天,享受着认名字的游戏。
初识互动时
Laughter echoed as Alex correctly named each classmate.
Alex 准确叫出每个同学的名字,笑声回荡。
挑战顺利进行时
尴尬疑惑(Embarrassment & Confusion)
An awkward silence fell as Ben refused to shake hands.
Ben 拒绝握手,一阵尴尬的沉默降临。
互动陷入僵局时
The kids looked confused, wondering why Ben wouldn’t cooperate.
孩子们一脸疑惑,不明白 Ben 为何不配合。
教练询问 Ben 时
温暖感动(Warmth & Touch)
Warmth filled the air as Alex switched to his left hand.
Alex 换用左手时,空气中弥漫着温暖。
表达接纳时
Tears of joy glistened in Ben’s eyes as he felt accepted.
感受到被接纳,Ben 眼里闪烁着喜悦的泪水。
融入集体后
3. 动作描写(Action Description)
动作场景(Action Scene)
英文词块(English Chunk)
中文释义(Chinese Meaning)
适配情节(Applicable Plot)
互动认识(Interaction & Acquaintance)
The kids sat in a row, listening attentively to each other’s names.
孩子们排成一排,认真听着彼此的名字。
初识环节时
Alex stretched out his right hand firmly, shaking each kid’s hand.
Alex 坚定地伸出右手,与每个孩子握手。
挑战进行时
隐藏与坦诚(Hiding & Confession)
Ben tucked his right arm under his jacket cuff, avoiding eye contact.
Ben 把右臂藏在夹克袖口,避开眼神接触。
拒绝握手时
He stood up slowly, his head bowed, and whispered the truth.
他慢慢站起来,低着头,轻声说出真相。
坦诚自身情况时
接纳与融入(Acceptance & Integration)
Alex withdrew his right hand quickly, offering his left with a smile.
Alex 迅速收回右手,微笑着伸出左手。
表达接纳时
The kids gathered around Ben, patting his shoulder gently.
孩子们围在 Ben 身边,轻轻拍着他的肩膀。
主动互动时
Ben shook hands with his teammates, using his left arm to grip theirs.
Ben 用左臂握住队友的手,与他们一一握手。
训练结束时
4. 环境象征描写(Symbolic Environmental Description)
象征意象(Symbolic Image)
英文表达(English Expression)
中文释义(Chinese Meaning)
象征意义(Symbolic Meaning)
寒冷的天气(Cold Weather)
The chilly August afternoon symbolized Ben’s lonely and cold inner world.
八月寒冷的下午,象征着 Ben 孤独冰冷的内心世界。
自卑与孤独
伸出的左手(Extended Left Hand)
Alex’s left hand was more than a gesture—it symbolized unconditional acceptance.
Alex 伸出的左手不仅是一个动作,更象征着无条件的接纳。
善意与包容
围拢的孩子们(Gathered Kids)
The circle of kids around Ben represented a warm and inclusive collective.
围在 Ben 身边的孩子们,代表着温暖包容的集体。
归属感与支持
足球(Soccer Ball)
The soccer ball became a bridge connecting Ben to his teammates—proving ability beyond appearance.
足球成为连接 Ben 和队友的桥梁,证明能力无关外表。
平等与共同热爱
5. 子训练:为故事注入灵魂(Sub-Training: Inject Soul into the Story)
训练一:环境描写・烘托心情(Environmental Description・Highlight Mood)
心情(Mood)
可选词汇(Optional Vocabulary)
英文造句(English Sentence-Making)
中文造句(Chinese Sentence-Making)
尴尬、紧张(Embarrassment & Nervousness)
刺骨的寒风(piercing wind);僵硬的沉默(stiff silence);低垂的脑袋(bowed heads)
Piercing wind blew across the field, and stiff silence hung in the air as everyone stared at Ben’s hidden hand, heads bowed.
刺骨的寒风掠过场地,所有人都盯着 Ben 藏起来的手,低着头,空气中弥漫着僵硬的沉默。
温暖、释然(Warmth & Relief)
柔和的阳光(soft sunlight);轻声的笑语(soft laughter);伸出的双手(outstretched hands)
Soft sunlight broke through the clouds, and soft laughter replaced the silence as the kids held out their hands to Ben.
柔和的阳光穿透云层,孩子们向 Ben 伸出双手,轻声的笑语取代了沉默。
开心、融入(Joy & Integration)
欢快的脚步声(cheerful footsteps);默契的传球(tacit passes);灿烂的笑容(bright smiles)
Cheerful footsteps echoed as the kids passed the soccer ball to Ben, their tacit passes and bright smiles showing true friendship.
孩子们把足球传给 Ben,欢快的脚步声回荡,默契的传球和灿烂的笑容彰显着真挚的友谊。
训练二:人物刻画・于细微处见真情(Character Portrayal・Truth in Details)
抽象描述(Abstract Description)
英文具体表达(Specific English Expression)
中文具体表达(Specific Chinese Expression)
Ben 很自卑(Ben was inferior)
He kept his right arm pressed tightly against his body, his eyes fixed on the ground as Alex reached out.
他把右臂紧紧贴在身上,Alex 伸手时,目光死死盯着地面。
Alex 很友善(Alex was kind)
He froze for a second, then his face softened, and he quickly switched hands, saying gently: “Left hand works too!”
他愣了一下,随后表情变得柔和,迅速换了手,轻声说:“左手也可以呀!”
孩子们很包容(The kids were tolerant)
They swarmed around Ben, some showing their scraped knees, others saying: “My hand is small too—let’s be teammates!”
他们围拢在 Ben 身边,有的露出擦伤的膝盖,有的说:“我的手也很小 —— 我们做队友吧!”
仿写示例(Example of Imitation)
英文仿写(English Imitation):She tilted her head slightly, her eyes warm and sincere, and held out her hand: “I don’t care about your hand—I just want to play with you!”
中文仿写(Chinese Imitation):她微微歪着头,眼神温暖而真诚,伸出手说:“我不在乎你的手 —— 我只想和你一起玩!”
训练三:情感表达・找到 “高级替身”(Emotional Expression・Find "Advanced Replacements")
基础词汇(Basic Vocabulary)
高级替换词(Advanced Replacements)
英文例句升级(English Sentence Upgrade)
中文例句升级(Chinese Sentence Upgrade)
sad(难过的)
heartbroken(心碎的);dejected(沮丧的)
Original: Ben was sad when he hid his hand.Upgraded: Ben felt heartbroken and dejected, hiding his missing hand under his cuff, fearing he’d be rejected by the team.
原句:Ben 藏起手时很伤心。升级句:Ben 心碎又沮丧,把缺少的手藏在袖口,担心被团队拒绝。
happy(开心的)
overjoyed(欣喜若狂的);elated(兴高采烈的)
Original: Ben was happy when kids accepted him.Upgraded: Ben was overjoyed and elated when the kids surrounded him with open arms, feeling truly welcome for the first time.
原句:孩子们接纳 Ben 时,他很开心。升级句:当孩子们张开双臂围拢他时,Ben 欣喜若狂、兴高采烈,第一次真正感受到被欢迎。
surprised(惊讶的)
astonished(深感惊讶的);astounded(震惊的)
Original: Alex was surprised to hear Ben’s words.Upgraded: Alex was astonished and astounded to hear Ben’s confession, but his kindness quickly replaced the shock.
原句:听到 Ben 的话,Alex 很惊讶。升级句:听到 Ben 的坦诚,Alex 深感惊讶,但善意很快取代了震惊。
训练四:动作细节・让情感可视化(Action Details・Visualize Emotions)
情境(Situation)
直白版(Plain Version)
细节版英文(Detailed English Version)
细节版中文(Detailed Chinese Version)
Ben 坦诚自身情况
Ben told everyone he had no right hand.
Ben stood up slowly, his shoulders hunched, his voice barely audible as he whispered: “Coach, I was born without a right hand.”
Ben 慢慢站起来,肩膀缩着,声音小得几乎听不见,轻声说:“教练,我天生没有右手。”
Alex 表达接纳
Alex shook Ben’s left hand.
Alex’s eyes widened for a split second, then he smiled softly, pulled back his right hand, and reached out his left, gripping Ben’s gently: “That’s okay—we’re still teammates!”
Alex 的眼睛瞬间睁大,随后温柔地笑了,收回右手,伸出左手,轻轻握住 Ben 的手:“没关系 —— 我们还是队友呀!”
训练五:象征与隐喻・让主题更深刻(Symbolism & Metaphor・Deepen the Theme)
抽象概念(Abstract Concept)
英文象征表达(English Symbolic Expression)
中文象征表达(Chinese Symbolic Expression)
缺陷与接纳(Disability & Acceptance)
Ben’s missing right hand was not a flaw, but a mirror reflecting the purity of children’s kindness and unconditional acceptance.
Ben 缺少的右手不是缺陷,而是一面镜子,映照出孩子们善良与无条件接纳的纯粹。
童真的力量(The Power of Childhood Innocence)
The kids’ simple gesture of switching hands was like a warm light, illuminating Ben’s lonely world and melting his inferiority.
孩子们换手握手的简单动作,像一束温暖的光,照亮了 Ben 孤独的世界,消融了他的自卑。
集体的温暖(The Warmth of Collective)
The circle of kids around Ben symbolized a safe haven—where differences are embraced, and everyone feels they belong.
围在 Ben 身边的孩子们,象征着一个安全的避风港 —— 在这里,差异被接纳,每个人都能感受到归属感。
四、【微动作训练】—— 让情感在行动中展现
训练一:动作 - 情绪绑定
(请根据中文提示,补全英文句子,完成 “动作 - 情绪” 的精准绑定)
1. 场景:Ben 隐藏缺陷英文:Ben pressed his right arm tightly against his body (把右臂紧紧贴在身上), his fingers curled into a fist (手指攥成拳头) as he avoided Alex’s gaze (避开 Alex 的目光).
中文:Ben 把右臂紧紧贴在身上,手指攥成拳头,避开 Alex 的目光。
2. 场景:Alex 表达接纳英文:Alex withdrew his right hand gently (轻轻收回右手), his eyes softening with sympathy (眼神因同情变得柔和) as he offered his left hand (伸出左手).
中文:Alex 轻轻收回右手,眼神因同情变得柔和,伸出了左手。
3. 场景:Ben 融入集体英文:Ben raised his left arm bravely (勇敢地举起左臂), his face breaking into a smile (脸上绽放笑容) as he joined the teammates’ high-fives (加入队友的击掌互动).中文:Ben 勇敢地举起左臂,脸上绽放笑容,加入队友的击掌互动。
训练二:细节放大镜
(请将简单的动作,通过添加 1-2 个细节进行升级,使其更具表现力)
1. 原句: I asked Ben a question.
细节升级: I knelt down to Ben’s level (蹲到与 Ben 平齐的高度), my voice gentle and patient (声音温柔而耐心) as I asked softly (轻声问道): “Ben, what’s bothering you?” (Ben,有什么困扰你的吗?)
2. 原句: The kids surrounded Ben.细节升级: The kids swarmed around Ben excitedly (兴奋地围拢到 Ben 身边), some patting his back lightly (有的轻轻拍着他的背) and others holding out their hands (有的伸出自己的手), their faces full of friendly smiles (脸上满是友善的笑容).
你的练习:
原句: Ben played soccer with the team.
细节升级: Ben ran across the field actively (积极地奔跑在球场上), his left foot kicking the ball firmly (左脚用力踢球) as his teammates cheered him on (队友们为他加油), his eyes shining with joy (眼里闪烁着喜悦的光芒).
训练三:综合情景创作
(请运用以上所有技巧,为以下情景创作一个包含微动作描写的句子)
情景:训练结束后,Ben 主动邀请 Alex 到家里做客,两人手牵手走出球场,其他孩子跟在后面,欢声笑语不断。要求:必须包含一个互动动作细节和一个面部表情细节,来表现 Ben 的转变与友谊的温暖。
你的创作:(参考:Ben held Alex’s hand tightly, a bright smile spreading across his face as he said, “Come to my house—we can play soccer in the yard!” Alex nodded eagerly, squeezing Ben’s hand gently, while the other kids chatted happily behind them.)
【微动作训练】参考答案
训练一:动作 - 情绪绑定
Ben 把右臂紧紧贴在身上,手指攥成拳头,避开 Alex 的目光。Ben pressed his right arm tightly against his body, his fingers curled into a fist as he avoided Alex’s gaze.
Alex 轻轻收回右手,眼神因同情变得柔和,伸出了左手。Alex withdrew his right hand gently, his eyes softening with sympathy as he offered his left hand.
Ben 勇敢地举起左臂,脸上绽放笑容,加入队友的击掌互动。Ben raised his left arm bravely, his face breaking into a smile as he joined the teammates’ high-fives.
训练二:细节放大镜
原句: I asked Ben a question.细节升级: I knelt down to Ben’s level, my voice gentle and patient as I asked softly: “Ben, what’s bothering you?”
原句: The kids surrounded Ben.细节升级: The kids swarmed around Ben excitedly, some patting his back lightly and others holding out their hands, their faces full of friendly smiles.
你的练习:原句: Ben played soccer with the team.细节升级: Ben ran across the field actively, his left foot kicking the ball firmly as his teammates cheered him on, his eyes shining with joy.
训练三:综合情景创作
你的创作 (参考示例):Ben held Alex’s hand tightly, a bright smile spreading across his face as he said, “Come to my house—we can play soccer in the yard!” Alex nodded eagerly, squeezing Ben’s hand gently, while the other kids chatted happily behind them.
五、综合训练与范文引导
训练:补全段落
Finally, Ben stood up and whispered, “Coach, I was born without a right hand.” He slowly pulled back his cuff, revealing a small artificial hand. The children fell silent, their eyes wide with curiosity. Just as I was searching for words, Alex, without a moment’s hesitation, gently reached out and shook Ben’s left hand instead. “It’s nice to meet you, Ben!” he said warmly. One by one, the other children followed, each offering a handshake or a high-five to Ben’s left hand.
Amazingly, Ben replied with a bright and cheerful smile. The worry vanished from his face, replaced by pure joy. Seeing this, I felt a lump in my throat. The children, without any adult’s guidance, had chosen kindness and inclusion. Our practice resumed, not with awkwardness, but with louder laughter and closer teamwork. As the sun began to set, Ben ran across the field with his new friends, no longer hiding his hand but shining with confidence and joy. That day, those young kids taught me that true acceptance requires no grand words — just a simple, heartfelt gesture.
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学科网(北京)股份有限公司
$
湖北省楚天协作体2025-2026学年度高三上学期期中考试
读后续写二次开发学案学生版
【真题再现】
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
It was late August and cold enough for the kids to be wrapped in extra sweatshirts, jackets, gloves and mittens. I was coaching a soccer team for kindergartners and first-graders. Little did I know that on that chilly afternoon, the children’s innocent and sincere actions showed me the power of unconditional acceptance.
It was the day of our first practice. I sat the kids down on the bench. As was normally the case any time I was coaching a new team, we took the first few minutes to get to know one another. We went up and down the row a few times, each kid saying his or her name and the names of all the kids sitting to the left.
After a few minutes of this, I decided to put the kids to the ultimate test. I asked for a volunteer who thought he or she knew the names of all eleven kids on the team and could prove it to all of us right then. There was one brave six-year-old who felt up to the challenge. He was to start at the far-left end of the bench, go up to each kid, say that kid’s name and then shake his or her right hand.
Alex started off and was doing very well. While I stood behind him, he went down the row — Dylan, Micah, Sara, Beau and Danny — until he reached Ben, by far the smallest kid on the team. He stammered out Ben’s name without much trouble and reached out his right hand, but Ben would not extend his. I looked at Ben for a second, as did Alex and the rest of the kids on the bench, but he just sat there, his right hand hidden under the cuff (袖口) of his jacket.
“Ben, why don’t you let Alex shake your hand?” I asked. But Ben just sat there, looking first at Alex and then at me, and then at Alex once again.
“Ben, what’s the matter?” I asked.
注意:
1. 续写词数应为150个左右;
2. 请按如下格式在相应位置作答。
Finally, Ben stood up and whispered, “Coach, I was born without a right hand.”
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Amazingly, Ben replied with a bright and cheerful smile.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
【原文翻译】
八月末的天气已然寒冷,孩子们不得不裹上额外的运动衫、夹克,戴上手套和连指手套。我正在执教一支由幼儿园和一年级学生组成的足球队。我万万没有想到,在那个寒冷的下午,孩子们天真又真挚的举动,让我见证了无条件接纳的力量。
这是我们的第一次训练。我让孩子们坐在长椅上。和往常执教新球队一样,我们先用几分钟时间互相认识。我们沿着一排人来回轮流介绍自己,每个孩子都要说出自己的名字,以及坐在左边所有孩子的名字。
这样过了几分钟后,我决定给孩子们出一道终极考验。我询问是否有志愿者认为自己能叫出队里所有 11 名孩子的名字,并且能当场向大家证明。有一个勇敢的六岁男孩自告奋勇,觉得自己能胜任这个挑战。他要从长椅最左边开始,走到每个孩子面前,叫出对方的名字,然后和对方握右手。
亚历克斯率先开始,而且表现得非常好。我站在他身后,看着他依次走过 —— 迪伦、迈卡、萨拉、博、丹尼 —— 直到他走到本面前。本是队里个子最小的孩子。亚历克斯磕磕绊绊地说出了本的名字,然后伸出右手,但本却没有伸手回应。我看了本一眼,亚历克斯和长椅上其他孩子也一样,但他只是坐在那里,右手藏在夹克的袖口下。
“本,你为什么不让亚历克斯握你的手呢?” 我问道。但本依旧坐在那里,先看了看亚历克斯,又看了看我,然后再次看向亚历克斯。
“本,怎么了?” 我又问。
【写作训练步骤】
一、通读全文,深度解读
1. 读情节
开端
发展
转折
续写第一段
续写第二段
2. 读人物
“我”
George
女婿
岳父
3. 读时态
全文以________________为主。
4. 读冲突
外在冲突
内在冲突
读情绪发展
轻松愉快(初识互动)→ 期待兴奋(Alex 挑战)→ 尴尬疑惑(Ben 不伸手)→ ___________(询问原因)→ ___________(Ben 坦诚)→(续写发展:_________→____________)→
(续写结局:____________→______________)
读主题
______________________________________
二、【十句五定法】—— 搭建你的写作框架
请根据两个段落的开头语,构思并完成以下句子,以搭建清晰的段落结构。
段落
句子功能
你的句子构思
第一段
1. 接续 Hint1
描述 Ben 说出真相后,全场___________________,“我” 的_________,Alex 的惊讶表情,________________。
2. 动作 / 心理推进
Alex 愣了一下后,立刻____________,伸出_________,轻声说 “____________________________”,脸上没有丝毫嫌弃。
3. 有效过渡
其他孩子见状,纷纷起身围过来,有的说 “_____________________”,有的说 “______________________”。
4. 有效衔接
Ben 看着伸出的一只只小手,眼神从______变得_______,慢慢抬起自己的左臂。
5. 段落收束
他轻轻握住 Alex 的______,嘴角_______________________,现场的尴尬瞬间被_______________。
第二段
6. 接续 Hint2
具体描写 Ben 微笑着回应____________,主动介绍自己的左臂也__________,_______________。
7. 情节发展
孩子们热情邀请 Ben 一起训练,传球时______________,耐心等待他接球,没有人再关注他的 _______。
8. 主题升华
“我” 看着孩子们毫无偏见的互动,领悟到________________,不以外表或缺陷评判他人,才是最珍贵的善良。
9. 结局呈现
训练结束时,Ben 主动___________________________,脸上洋溢着自信的笑容,完全融入了集体。
10. 富有余韵的结尾
用一句感悟式句子收尾,回扣主题(如:_________________________________________________________________________)。
三、【微写作训练】—— 打磨你的语言(中英文对称版)
1. 人物心理描写(Psychological Description)
情绪类型(Emotion Type)
英文词块(English Chunk)
中文释义(Chinese Meaning)
适配情节(Applicable Plot)
勇敢期待(Bravery & Expectation)
Alex 主动应战,眼里闪烁着勇敢的光芒。
接受挑战时
他充满自信,坚信自己能记住所有名字。
开始握手互动时
自卑忐忑(Inferiority & Anxiety)
Ben 心跳加速,担心别人嘲笑他缺少右手。
被要求握手时
他为自己的缺陷感到羞愧,紧紧藏着左臂。
沉默回应教练询问时
温暖释然(Warmth & Relief)
看到 Alex 伸出左手,Ben 心中涌起一阵释然。
被接纳时
孩子们围过来时,他感受到了强烈的归属感。
融入集体时
2. 情感描写(Emotional Description)
情感类型(Emotion Type)
英文词块(English Chunk)
中文释义(Chinese Meaning)
适配情节(Applicable Plot)
轻松愉快(Relaxation & Joy)
孩子们开心地聊着天,享受着认名字的游戏。
初识互动时
Alex 准确叫出每个同学的名字,笑声回荡。
挑战顺利进行时
尴尬疑惑(Embarrassment & Confusion)
Ben 拒绝握手,一阵尴尬的沉默降临。
互动陷入僵局时
孩子们一脸疑惑,不明白 Ben 为何不配合。
教练询问 Ben 时
温暖感动(Warmth & Touch)
Alex 换用左手时,空气中弥漫着温暖。
表达接纳时
感受到被接纳,Ben 眼里闪烁着喜悦的泪水。
融入集体后
3. 动作描写(Action Description)
动作场景(Action Scene)
英文词块(English Chunk)
中文释义(Chinese Meaning)
适配情节(Applicable Plot)
互动认识(Interaction & Acquaintance)
孩子们排成一排,认真听着彼此的名字。
初识环节时
Alex 坚定地伸出右手,与每个孩子握手。
挑战进行时
隐藏与坦诚(Hiding & Confession)
Ben 把右臂藏在夹克袖口,避开眼神接触。
拒绝握手时
他慢慢站起来,低着头,轻声说出真相。
坦诚自身情况时
接纳与融入(Acceptance & Integration)
Alex 迅速收回右手,微笑着伸出左手。
表达接纳时
孩子们围在 Ben 身边,轻轻拍着他的肩膀。
主动互动时
Ben 用左臂握住队友的手,与他们一一握手。
训练结束时
4. 环境象征描写(Symbolic Environmental Description)
象征意象(Symbolic Image)
英文表达(English Expression)
中文释义(Chinese Meaning)
象征意义(Symbolic Meaning)
寒冷的天气(Cold Weather)
八月寒冷的下午,象征着 Ben 孤独冰冷的内心世界。
自卑与孤独
伸出的左手(Extended Left Hand)
Alex 伸出的左手不仅是一个动作,更象征着无条件的接纳。
善意与包容
围拢的孩子们(Gathered Kids)
围在 Ben 身边的孩子们,代表着温暖包容的集体。
归属感与支持
足球(Soccer Ball)
足球成为连接 Ben 和队友的桥梁,证明能力无关外表。
平等与共同热爱
5. 子训练:为故事注入灵魂(Sub-Training: Inject Soul into the Story)
训练一:环境描写・烘托心情(Environmental Description・Highlight Mood)
心情(Mood)
可选词汇(Optional Vocabulary)
英文造句(English Sentence-Making)
中文造句(Chinese Sentence-Making)
尴尬、紧张(Embarrassment & Nervousness)
刺骨的寒风(piercing wind);僵硬的沉默(stiff silence);低垂的脑袋(bowed heads)
刺骨的寒风掠过场地,所有人都盯着 Ben 藏起来的手,低着头,空气中弥漫着僵硬的沉默。
温暖、释然(Warmth & Relief)
柔和的阳光(soft sunlight);轻声的笑语(soft laughter);伸出的双手(outstretched hands)
柔和的阳光穿透云层,孩子们向 Ben 伸出双手,轻声的笑语取代了沉默。
开心、融入(Joy & Integration)
欢快的脚步声(cheerful footsteps);默契的传球(tacit passes);灿烂的笑容(bright smiles)
孩子们把足球传给 Ben,欢快的脚步声回荡,默契的传球和灿烂的笑容彰显着真挚的友谊。
训练二:人物刻画・于细微处见真情(Character Portrayal・Truth in Details)
抽象描述(Abstract Description)
英文具体表达(Specific English Expression)
中文具体表达(Specific Chinese Expression)
Ben 很自卑(Ben was inferior)
他把右臂紧紧贴在身上,Alex 伸手时,目光死死盯着地面。
Alex 很友善(Alex was kind)
他愣了一下,随后表情变得柔和,迅速换了手,轻声说:“左手也可以呀!”
孩子们很包容(The kids were tolerant)
他们围拢在 Ben 身边,有的露出擦伤的膝盖,有的说:“我的手也很小 —— 我们做队友吧!”
仿写示例(Example of Imitation)
英文仿写(English Imitation):She tilted her head slightly, her eyes warm and sincere, and held out her hand: “I don’t care about your hand—I just want to play with you!”
中文仿写(Chinese Imitation):她微微歪着头,眼神温暖而真诚,伸出手说:“我不在乎你的手 —— 我只想和你一起玩!”
训练三:情感表达・找到 “高级替身”(Emotional Expression・Find "Advanced Replacements")
基础词汇(Basic Vocabulary)
高级替换词(Advanced Replacements)
英文例句升级(English Sentence Upgrade)
中文例句升级(Chinese Sentence Upgrade)
sad(难过的)
heartbroken(心碎的);dejected(沮丧的)
Original: Ben was sad when he hid his hand.
Upgraded:
原句:Ben 藏起手时很伤心。升级句:Ben 心碎又沮丧,把缺少的手藏在袖口,担心被团队拒绝。
happy(开心的)
overjoyed(欣喜若狂的);elated(兴高采烈的)
Original: Ben was happy when kids accepted him.
Upgraded:
原句:孩子们接纳 Ben 时,他很开心。升级句:当孩子们张开双臂围拢他时,Ben 欣喜若狂、兴高采烈,第一次真正感受到被欢迎。
surprised(惊讶的)
astonished(深感惊讶的);astounded(震惊的)
Original: Alex was surprised to hear Ben’s words.
Upgraded:
原句:听到 Ben 的话,Alex 很惊讶。升级句:听到 Ben 的坦诚,Alex 深感惊讶,但善意很快取代了震惊。
训练四:动作细节・让情感可视化(Action Details・Visualize Emotions)
情境(Situation)
直白版(Plain Version)
细节版英文(Detailed English Version)
细节版中文(Detailed Chinese Version)
Ben 坦诚自身情况
Ben told everyone he had no right hand.
Ben stood up slowly, his shoulders hunched, his voice barely audible as he whispered: “Coach, I was born without a right hand.”
Ben 慢慢站起来,肩膀缩着,声音小得几乎听不见,轻声说:“教练,我天生没有右手。”
Alex 表达接纳
Alex shook Ben’s left hand.
Alex’s eyes widened for a split second, then he smiled softly, pulled back his right hand, and reached out his left, gripping Ben’s gently: “That’s okay—we’re still teammates!”
Alex 的眼睛瞬间睁大,随后温柔地笑了,收回右手,伸出左手,轻轻握住 Ben 的手:“没关系 —— 我们还是队友呀!”
训练五:象征与隐喻・让主题更深刻(Symbolism & Metaphor・Deepen the Theme)
抽象概念(Abstract Concept)
英文象征表达(English Symbolic Expression)
中文象征表达(Chinese Symbolic Expression)
缺陷与接纳(Disability & Acceptance)
Ben’s missing right hand was not a flaw, but a mirror reflecting the purity of children’s kindness and unconditional acceptance.
Ben 缺少的右手不是缺陷,而是一面镜子,映照出孩子们善良与无条件接纳的纯粹。
童真的力量(The Power of Childhood Innocence)
The kids’ simple gesture of switching hands was like a warm light, illuminating Ben’s lonely world and melting his inferiority.
孩子们换手握手的简单动作,像一束温暖的光,照亮了 Ben 孤独的世界,消融了他的自卑。
集体的温暖(The Warmth of Collective)
围在 Ben 身边的孩子们,象征着一个安全的避风港 —— 在这里,差异被接纳,每个人都能感受到归属感。
四、【微动作训练】—— 让情感在行动中展现
训练一:动作 - 情绪绑定
(请根据中文提示,补全英文句子,完成 “动作 - 情绪” 的精准绑定)
1. 场景:Ben 隐藏缺陷英文:Ben pressed his right arm tightly against his body (把右臂紧紧贴在身上), his fingers curled into a fist (手指攥成拳头) as he avoided Alex’s gaze (避开 Alex 的目光).
中文:Ben 把右臂紧紧贴在身上,手指攥成拳头,避开 Alex 的目光。
2. 场景:Alex 表达接纳英文:Alex withdrew his right hand gently (轻轻收回右手), his eyes softening with sympathy (眼神因同情变得柔和) as he offered his left hand (伸出左手).
中文:Alex 轻轻收回右手,眼神因同情变得柔和,伸出了左手。
3. 场景:Ben 融入集体英文:Ben raised his left arm bravely (勇敢地举起左臂), his face breaking into a smile (脸上绽放笑容) as he joined the teammates’ high-fives (加入队友的击掌互动).中文:Ben 勇敢地举起左臂,脸上绽放笑容,加入队友的击掌互动。
训练二:细节放大镜
(请将简单的动作,通过添加 1-2 个细节进行升级,使其更具表现力)
1. 原句: I asked Ben a question.
细节升级: I ___________ to Ben’s level (蹲到与 Ben 平齐的高度), my voice ________________ (声音温柔而耐心) as I asked _______ (轻声问道): “Ben, what’s bothering you?” (Ben,有什么困扰你的吗?)
2. 原句: The kids surrounded Ben.
细节升级: The kids _____________ Ben excitedly (兴奋地围拢到 Ben 身边), some _______ his back lightly (有的轻轻拍着他的背) and others _______ _______ their hands (有的伸出自己的手), their faces full of friendly smiles (脸上满是友善的笑容).
你的练习:
原句: Ben played soccer with the team.
细节升级: Ben ran across the field actively (积极地奔跑在球场上), his left foot kicking the ball firmly (左脚用力踢球) as his teammates cheered him on (队友们为他加油), his eyes shining with joy (眼里闪烁着喜悦的光芒).
训练三:综合情景创作
(请运用以上所有技巧,为以下情景创作一个包含微动作描写的句子)
情景:训练结束后,Ben 主动邀请 Alex 到家里做客,两人手牵手走出球场,其他孩子跟在后面,欢声笑语不断。要求:必须包含一个互动动作细节和一个面部表情细节,来表现 Ben 的转变与友谊的温暖。
你的创作:(参考:Ben held Alex’s hand tightly, a bright smile spreading across his face as he said, “Come to my house—we can play soccer in the yard!” Alex nodded eagerly, squeezing Ben’s hand gently, while the other kids chatted happily behind them.)
【微动作训练】参考答案
训练一:动作 - 情绪绑定
Ben 把右臂紧紧贴在身上,手指攥成拳头,避开 Alex 的目光。Ben pressed his right arm tightly against his body, his fingers curled into a fist as he avoided Alex’s gaze.
Alex 轻轻收回右手,眼神因同情变得柔和,伸出了左手。Alex withdrew his right hand gently, his eyes softening with sympathy as he offered his left hand.
Ben 勇敢地举起左臂,脸上绽放笑容,加入队友的击掌互动。Ben raised his left arm bravely, his face breaking into a smile as he joined the teammates’ high-fives.
训练二:细节放大镜
原句: I asked Ben a question.细节升级: I knelt down to Ben’s level, my voice gentle and patient as I asked softly: “Ben, what’s bothering you?”
原句: The kids surrounded Ben.细节升级: The kids swarmed around Ben excitedly, some patting his back lightly and others holding out their hands, their faces full of friendly smiles.
你的练习:原句: Ben played soccer with the team.细节升级: Ben ran across the field actively, his left foot kicking the ball firmly as his teammates cheered him on, his eyes shining with joy.
训练三:综合情景创作
你的创作 (参考示例):Ben held Alex’s hand tightly, a bright smile spreading across his face as he said, “Come to my house—we can play soccer in the yard!” Alex nodded eagerly, squeezing Ben’s hand gently, while the other kids chatted happily behind them.
五、综合训练与范文引导
训练:补全段落
Finally, Ben stood up and whispered, “Coach, I was born without a right hand.” He slowly _____________ his cuff, ____________ a small artificial hand. The children ___________, their eyes wide with ___________. Just as I____________________ words, Alex, ________________________, gently _____________ and shook Ben’s left hand instead. “It’s nice to meet you, Ben!” he said ________. One by one, the other children followed, each _________________ or a high-five to Ben’s left hand.
最后,本站起身轻声说道:“教练,我生来就没有右手。”他缓缓拉开袖子,露出一只小巧的人工假手。孩子们顿时鸦雀无声,好奇的目光在他们脸上流转。正当我欲言又止时,亚历克斯毫不犹豫地伸出手,轻轻握住了本的左手。“很高兴见到你,本!”他温暖地说道。其他孩子也纷纷效仿,一个接一个地与本的左手握手或击掌。
Amazingly, Ben replied with a bright and cheerful smile. The worry ___________ from his face, replaced by _____________. Seeing this, I ____________ in my throat. The children, without any adult’s guidance, had chosen kindness and inclusion. Our practice ___________, not with ___________, but with louder laughter and closer teamwork. As the sun began to set, Ben ran across the field with his new friends, no longer ____________ his hand but shining with ____________ and joy. That day, those young kids taught me that true acceptance requires ________________ — just a simple, heartfelt gesture.
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