山东省潍坊市2025-2026学年高三11月教学质量检测考试读后续写二次开发学案

潍坊市11月高三教学质量检测考试 读后续写二次开发学案学生版 阅读下面材料 ,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段 ,使之构成一篇完整的短文。 Coach Dad on a November afternoon in Belmont , my five-year-old son Jack asked me to go for a walk. Not a big moment for most dads , but it felt good to be asked for me. As we walked along the street , thoughts rose in my heart : Nothing was more important to me than being a good father. But more and more these days , I asked myself ,“ was I? ” I’m a business consultant , helping companies develop employees into successful teams. It was the work meant for me. If only I felt that same confidence as a father. I wondered why I always felt like something was missing between us. yet I wasn’t completely clueless. They say your parenting style is shaped by how your parents raised you , and my role models weren’t perfect. But I wasn’t like my dad. Jack meant everything to me. Reaching the end of the street , we found my friend Rick playing basketball with his son. “ Hey , John , want to shoot a few? ”Rick said , holding up the basketball. I shook my head. “ Not really my game ," I said. Rick passed the ball to Jack and walked over to me. “ I can hardly get Jack to do anything fun with me. How do you manage it , Rick? ”I asked. “ I try to make what’s important to my kid important to me , even if it’s just shooting a few baskets , ”he replied. Easy for him , I thought. He likes playing sports while I know nothing about it. On our way home , Jack said ,“ Dad , our Family Basketball Day at school is this coming Friday. I really want to play. It would be so much fun! can we , please? ”I recalled how badly I’d wanted my dad to be there for me and decided to follow Rick’s advice. That night , after getting Jack to bed , I sat at the computer and filled out the application. That’s when I noticed a box at the bottom asking ,“ would you like to coach? ”Before I could think twice , I clicked YES and hit SEND. “ That’s awesome! ”Jack cheered when I told him the next day. 注意: (1)续写词数应为 150 个左右 ; (2)请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。 Then came our first practice. I searched the web for coaching tips. 【原文翻译】 教练老爸 11 月的一个午后，在贝尔蒙特镇，我五岁的儿子杰克邀我去散步。对大多数父亲来说，这算不上什么特别时刻，但能被儿子主动邀请，我心里却暖暖的。散步时，一个念头在我脑海中浮现：对我而言，没有什么比做个好父亲更重要的了。可近来我却越来越频繁地问自己：“我真的是个好父亲吗？” 我是一名商业顾问，主要帮企业把员工培养成高效团队。这份工作很适合我，可作为父亲，我却始终没那份底气。我总觉得，我和杰克之间好像少了点什么。不过，我也并非毫无头绪。人们常说，一个人的育儿方式会受父母养育方式的影响，而我的父母（作为我的育儿榜样）也并非完美。但我和我父亲不一样 —— 杰克对我来说就是一切。 走到街尽头时，我们看到我的朋友里克正陪他儿子打篮球。“嘿，约翰，要不要来投几个球？” 里克举着篮球问道。我摇了摇头：“这可不是我的强项。” 里克把球传给杰克，然后朝我走来。“我几乎没法让杰克跟我一起做些有趣的事，你是怎么做到的啊，里克？” 我问。“我会努力把孩子看重的事当成自己的事，哪怕只是投几个球而已。” 他回答道。我心里却想：他倒轻松，他本来就喜欢运动，可我对这个一窍不通。 回家的路上，杰克说：“爸爸，学校下周五要举办家庭篮球日，我特别想参加，肯定会很有意思的！我们能去吗？求你了！” 我想起自己小时候多希望父亲能陪在身边，于是决定采纳里克的建议。那天晚上，哄杰克睡着后，我坐在电脑前填好了报名申请表。这时，我注意到表格底部有个勾选框，写着 “是否愿意担任教练？” 没等多想，我就点了 “愿意” 并发送了申请。 第二天我把这事告诉杰克时，他欢呼道：“太酷啦！” 【写作训练步骤】 一、通读全文，深度解读 1. 读情节 开端 发展 转折 续写第一段 续写第二段 2. 读人物 “我” George 女婿 岳父 3. 读时态 全文以________________为主。 4. 读冲突 外在冲突 内在冲突 读情绪发展 疑虑→羡慕→决心→冲动→紧张担忧→（续写发展：__________________________________）→（续写结局：_____________________________________） 读主题 ______________________________________________________ 二、【十句五定法】—— 搭建你的写作框架 请根据两个段落的开头语，构思并完成以下句子，以搭建清晰的段落结构。 段落 句子功能 你的句子构思 第一段 1. 接续 Hint1 描述首次训练的场景，点明训练地点（学校操场）、参与人员（Jack 和其他孩子）以及 “我” 的紧张状态（手持教练笔记，手足无措）。 2. 动作 / 心理推进 描写训练初期的混乱（不知如何安排流程，孩子们打闹无序），“我” 内心的慌乱与自责（后悔冲动报名）。 3. 有效过渡 “我” 看到 Jack 期待又失落的眼神，下定决心冷静下来，尝试运用网络上学到的基础技巧调整训练方式。 4. 有效衔接 描述一个具体的训练片段（如教孩子们拍球、传球基础动作），“我” 耐心指导，Jack 积极配合并给予鼓励，氛围逐渐好转。 5. 段落收束 以首次训练结束时的场景收尾，“我” 虽疲惫但收获满满，对后续训练多了几分信心，也感受到 Jack 的喜悦。 第二段 6. 接续 Hint2 具体说明 “我” 通过网络学习教练技巧的细节（如观看教学视频、记录关键要点、模拟训练流程）。 7. 情节发展 描写后续训练中的进步（“我” 愈发熟练，能设计简单战术，孩子们配合更默契），以及 “我” 和 Jack 私下的篮球互动（睡前练习、讨论技巧）。 8. 主题升华 通过 “我” 的内心独白，点明对父职的新认知（合格的父亲不是完美的，而是愿意为孩子走进 TA 的世界，共同成长）。 9. 结局呈现 描述篮球日当天的精彩场景（“我” 带领孩子们积极参赛，Jack 表现出色，父子默契配合完成关键得分）。 10. 富有余韵的结尾 用一句温暖的句子结束故事，回扣主题（如：篮球不仅连接了我和 Jack 的童年，更让我读懂了父爱的真谛 —— 陪伴是最好的成长礼物）。 三、【微写作训练】—— 打磨你的语言 【人物心理描写】 紧张担忧：________________________________________; 我面对这群孩子时，手掌心都出汗了_________________________________________.当我不知道如何开始训练时，一阵恐慌席卷了我 决心坚定：_____________________________________ 我攥紧拳头，下定决心为了杰克振作起来___________________________________________________.我心中涌起一股克服困难的坚强决心。 喜悦满足：________________________________看到杰克兴奋的表情，我脸上露出了灿烂的笑容 _______________________________________________看着孩子们取得进步，我感到心里很满足。 【情感描写】 自责愧疚：______________________________________________后悔自己一时冲动就报名当教练 ___________________________________________________我几乎让杰克失望了，心里一阵愧疚。 感动温暖：_________________________________________________________________________ 杰克的鼓励话语深深触动了我的心，给了我继续前进的力量； _____________________________________________________________________ 我们练习篮球时，父子间的温情弥漫在空气中。 自豪骄傲：________________________________ 当杰克成功投篮时，我脸上洋溢着自豪的笑容；_______________________________________看到孩子们如此努力，我心中顿时涌起一股自豪感。 【动作描写】 紧张无措：________________________________________________________________________.我手里的教练笔记让我坐立不安，眼睛在操场上来回游移；向孩子们解释规则时，我结结巴巴地说不出话来。 耐心指导：_________________________________________________________________________我蹲下身子，和杰克平起平坐，耐心地纠正他的射击姿势；我反复示范传球技巧，放慢动作速度，让孩子们跟着练习。 默契互动：_________________________________________________________________________杰克把球轻巧地传给我，我笑着回传；他完成完美投篮后，我们兴奋地击掌庆祝。 【环境象征描写】 篮球场→从陌生挑战到亲子纽带：_____________________________________________________篮球场曾经让我望而生畏，如今却成了温暖的桥梁，将我和杰克的心紧紧相连。 篮球→从隔阂到桥梁：_______________________________________________________________我以前对篮球一无所知，但它却成了父亲和儿子之间拉近距离的桥梁。 夕阳→从迷茫到温暖：_______________________________________________________________夕阳将金色的光辉洒在操场上，象征着我们共同的篮球之旅带来的温暖和希望。 【微写作训练】—— 为你的故事注入灵魂 训练一：环境描写・烘托心情 （选择最贴合故事氛围的词语，并尝试造句） 心情 可选词汇（中英对照） 你的造句 紧张、无措 空旷的操场 (empty playground); 喧闹的孩子 (noisy kids); 手足无措 (at a loss) 坚定、投入 专注的眼神 (focused eyes); 整齐的动作 (neat movements); 热烈的氛围 (lively atmosphere) 温暖、满足 夕阳的余晖 (afterglow of the setting sun); 欢快的笑声 (cheerful laughter); 温馨的画面 (warm picture) 训练二：人物刻画・于细微处见真情 （将左边抽象的描述与右边具体的表达连线，并选择一句仿写） 我很紧张。 A. I kept scratching my head, staring at the coaching notes in my hand, unable to say a word. Jack 很期待。 B. His eyes sparkled with excitement, bouncing up and down as he waited for the training to start. 我很感动。 C. My eyes blurred slightly when I heard Jack say, "Dad, you’re the best coach ever!" （参考答案： 1-A; 2-B; 3-C） 训练三：情感表达・找到 “高级替身” （圈出你会在正式写作中使用的词语，并替换掉直白的表达） 想说 "nervous" (紧张): 试试 a knot in my stomach (心里发紧), feel jittery (心神不宁), be on edge (紧张不安)想说 "happy" (开心): 试试 be over the moon (欣喜若狂), glow with joy (喜气洋洋), my heart soared (心花怒放)想说 "regret" (后悔): 试试 be seized with regret (突然后悔), remorse welled up (悔恨涌上心头), wish I hadn’t done (真希望没做过) 例句升级：原句：I was nervous but happy when the training went well. 升级句:____________________________________________________________________________. 训练四：动作细节・让情感可视化 （请为以下情境，设计一个包含具体动作和身体反应的句子） 情境 1：“我” 首次训练面对孩子们，紧张到说不出话。直白版: I was too nervous to speak in the first training.细节版: I ______, my throat ______ as I opened my mouth, while my hands ______ the crumpled coaching notes tightly. (参考：stood frozen in front of the kids; drying up; gripped) 情境 2：Jack 成功投进第一个球，“我” 为他欢呼。直白版: I cheered for Jack when he made his first shot.细节版: Jumping up and down excitedly, I ______, "Great job, Jack!" My voice ______ with pride as I rushed over to give him a big hug. (参考: shouted at the top of my lungs; trembling) 训练五：象征与隐喻・让主题更深刻 （将抽象概念与具体意象连接，完成句子） 篮球训练 (The basketball training) → 不仅是一项活动，更象征着 ______ (a journey of father-son growth, where I learn to be a better dad and Jack feels the warmth of companionship)。 最初的紧张 (The initial nervousness) → 从 ______ (a sign of my incompetence as a father) 变成了 ______ (a motivation to push myself and become more responsible)。 这次篮球日经历 (The Family Basketball Day experience) → 是 “我” 从 ______ (a father who doubts himself) 到 ______ (a confident dad who dares to try and accompany his child) 的转折点。 【微写作训练】参考答案 训练一：环境描写・烘托心情 紧张、无措：空旷的操场里挤满了喧闹的孩子，我站在中间手足无措，大脑一片空白。 坚定、投入：当看到孩子们专注的眼神，听到整齐的拍球声，热烈的氛围让我迅速投入训练。 温暖、满足：夕阳的余晖洒在操场上，夹杂着孩子们欢快的笑声，构成一幅温馨的画面，让我满心满足。 训练二：人物刻画・于细微处见真情 连线答案: 1 - A; 2 - B; 3 - C 仿写示例 (选择第 2 句): Her face lit up with excitement, clapping her hands repeatedly as she watched her favorite singer walk onto the stage. 训练三：情感表达・找到 “高级替身” 站在孩子们面前准备训练时，我心里发紧 (a knot in my stomach)。 看到 Jack 在篮球日表现出色，我心花怒放 (my heart soared)。 想起自己一开始差点放弃当教练，我突然后悔 (was seized with regret)。 例句升级: A knot in my stomach lingered at the beginning, but it was replaced by a glow of joy as the training went smoothly, making my heart soar with pride. 训练四：动作细节・让情感可视化 情境 1 (细节版): I stood frozen in front of the kids (僵硬地站在孩子们面前), my throat drying up (喉咙发紧) as I opened my mouth, while my hands gripped (紧紧攥着) the crumpled coaching notes tightly. 情境 2 (细节版): Jumping up and down excitedly, I shouted at the top of my lungs (用尽全身力气大喊), "Great job, Jack!" My voice trembling (带着骄傲的颤抖) with pride as I rushed over to give him a big hug. 训练五：象征与隐喻・让主题更深刻 篮球训练 (The basketball training) → 不仅是一项活动，更象征着 a journey of father-son growth, where I learn to be a better dad and Jack feels the warmth of companionship (一段父子成长的旅程，在这里我学会成为更好的父亲，Jack 感受到陪伴的温暖)。 最初的紧张 (The initial nervousness) → 从 a sign of my incompetence as a father (我作为父亲无能的标志) 变成了 a motivation to push myself and become more responsible (推动我进步、变得更有责任感的动力)。 这次篮球日经历 (The Family Basketball Day experience) → 是 “我” 从 a father who doubts himself (一个怀疑自己的父亲) 到 a confident dad who dares to try and accompany his child (一个敢于尝试、陪伴孩子的自信父亲) 的转折点。 四、【微动作训练】—— 让情感在行动中展现 训练一：动作 - 情绪绑定 （请根据中文提示，补全英文句子，完成 “动作 - 情绪” 的精准绑定） 1. 场景：紧张开场英文：______________________________ (反复深呼吸), ___________________ (微微挺直后背，走上前面对孩子们).中文：我反复深呼吸，微微挺直后背，走上前面对孩子们。 2. 场景：耐心指导英文：________________________________________ (手指轻轻调整他的手腕), ________________________________________________________ (声音里充满耐心，变得温柔).中文：在纠正 Jack 投篮姿势时，我的手指轻轻调整他的手腕，声音里充满耐心，变得温柔。 3. 场景：自豪拥抱英文：________________________________________ (紧紧把 Jack 抱在怀里), _________________________ (轻轻拍着他的后背), ____________________________ (脸上绽放出灿烂的笑容).中文：紧紧把 Jack 抱在怀里，轻轻拍着他的后背，脸上绽放出灿烂的笑容。 训练二：细节放大镜 （请将简单的动作，通过添加 1-2 个细节进行升级，使其更具表现力） 1. 原句： I taught the kids to play basketball. 细节升级：________________________________________________________________________ (一步步演示基础运球技巧，放慢动作，清晰解释每一个步骤). 2. 原句： Jack passed the ball to me. 3. 细节升级：____________________________________________________________________ (Jack 双手持球，仔细瞄准我，轻轻把球抛出，眼睛紧紧盯着在空中飞过的球). 你的练习：原句： We celebrated the success. 细节升级： We ______, ______. (参考：high-fived each other excitedly, laughing loudly as we jumped up and down, enjoying the moment of success together) 训练三：综合情景创作 （请运用以上所有技巧，为以下情景创作一个包含微动作描写的句子） 情景：篮球日活动结束后，“我” 和 Jack 坐在操场边回顾当天的经历，内心充满温暖与自豪。要求：必须包含一个互动动作的细节和一个面部表情或身体姿态的细节，来表现 “我” 此时的心情。 你的创作：（参考：As Jack leaned his head on my shoulder, I gently ruffled his hair with my hand, a soft and contented smile lingering on my face, feeling proud of how far we’d come together through the basketball training.） 【微动作训练】参考答案 训练一：动作 - 情绪绑定 我反复深呼吸，微微挺直后背，走上前面对孩子们。I took a deep breath repeatedly, straightening my back slightly as I stepped forward to face the kids. 在纠正 Jack 投篮姿势时，我的手指轻轻调整他的手腕，声音里充满耐心，变得温柔。As I corrected Jack’s shooting posture, my fingers gently adjusted his wrist, my voice softening with patience. 紧紧把 Jack 抱在怀里，轻轻拍着他的后背，脸上绽放出灿烂的笑容。Wrapping Jack tightly in my arms, I patted his back lightly, a wide smile spreading across my face. 训练二：细节放大镜 原句: I taught the kids to play basketball.细节升级: I demonstrated the basic dribbling skills step by step, slowing down my movements and explaining each step clearly. 原句: Jack passed the ball to me.细节升级: Jack held the ball with both hands, aimed carefully at me, and tossed it gently, his eyes fixed on the ball as it flew through the air. 你的练习:原句: We celebrated the success.细节升级: We high-fived each other excitedly, laughing loudly as we jumped up and down, enjoying the moment of success together. 训练三：综合情景创作 你的创作 (参考示例):As Jack leaned his head on my shoulder, I gently ruffled his hair with my hand, a soft and contented smile lingering on my face, feeling proud of how far we’d come together through the basketball training. 五、综合训练与范文引导 读后续写范文语法填空题（侧重关键信息考察） 阅读下面短文，根据续写情节的关键信息，在空白处填入恰当的单词，使短文完整通顺。 Then came our first practice. Not so awesome. I had the kids in our team gather around. Eight eager faces stared up at me. “Welcome to our first practice. We’re going to have fun!” They looked at me blankly. Did they realize I had no idea what I was doing? “Let’s shoot some ______ (填 “动作对象名词，表核心训练内容”) , ”I proceeded to demonstrate without success... three times! Worse still , I didn’t have a ______ (填 “物品名词，表教练必备工具，呼应后文”) . My kids were wandering around ______ (填 “状态副词，表孩子无序状态”) . Even Jack seemed ______ (填 “状态形容词，表 Jack 的失落”) . A wave of ______ (填 “情感名词，表‘我’的核心感受”) washed over me. “I’ve made a huge mistake , ”I thought to myself. “I’m just going to disappoint Jack. ”I couldn’t let that happen. I had to find a way to ______ (填 “动词，表‘我’的关键行动，与‘振奋’相关”) him up , no matter what. I searched the web for coaching tips. One stood out : success comes when your heart is in the right ______ (填 “名词，表主题相关观点，原文直接提及”) . Suddenly , everything clicked. My father had given me ______ (填 “名词复数，表父亲传承的品质，助力‘我’成长”) that served me well at work ; now , they would help me focus on what mattered to Jack. I dove into learning basketball ______ (填 “名词复数，表‘我’学习的核心内容”) , not forgetting to get myself a whistle. The next practice , I gathered my team and said ,“Follow your heart ; things work out! ”I patiently walked them through the basics and ______ (填 “动词过去式，表‘我’的示范动作，与‘展示’相关”) the movements. A flow of passing and shooting on ______ (填 “名词，表训练场地”) . Then a shot banked in. “Dad , I did it! ”Jack jumped for joy. I ran over , gave him a high ______ (填 “数词，表父子互动的关键动作”) and lifted him up. For me , this moment was everything. 1 学科网（北京）股份有限公司 $ 潍坊市11月高三教学质量检测考试 读后续写二次开发学案教师版 阅读下面材料 ,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段 ,使之构成一篇完整的短文。 Coach Dad on a November afternoon in Belmont , my five-year-old son Jack asked me to go for a walk. Not a big moment for most dads , but it felt good to be asked for me. As we walked along the street , thoughts rose in my heart : Nothing was more important to me than being a good father. But more and more these days , I asked myself ,“ was I? ” I’m a business consultant , helping companies develop employees into successful teams. It was the work meant for me. If only I felt that same confidence as a father. I wondered why I always felt like something was missing between us. yet I wasn’t completely clueless. They say your parenting style is shaped by how your parents raised you , and my role models weren’t perfect. But I wasn’t like my dad. Jack meant everything to me. Reaching the end of the street , we found my friend Rick playing basketball with his son. “ Hey , John , want to shoot a few? ”Rick said , holding up the basketball. I shook my head. “ Not really my game ," I said. Rick passed the ball to Jack and walked over to me. “ I can hardly get Jack to do anything fun with me. How do you manage it , Rick? ”I asked. “ I try to make what’s important to my kid important to me , even if it’s just shooting a few baskets , ”he replied. Easy for him , I thought. He likes playing sports while I know nothing about it. On our way home , Jack said ,“ Dad , our Family Basketball Day at school is this coming Friday. I really want to play. It would be so much fun! can we , please? ”I recalled how badly I’d wanted my dad to be there for me and decided to follow Rick’s advice. That night , after getting Jack to bed , I sat at the computer and filled out the application. That’s when I noticed a box at the bottom asking ,“ would you like to coach? ”Before I could think twice , I clicked YES and hit SEND. “ That’s awesome! ”Jack cheered when I told him the next day. 注意: (1)续写词数应为 150 个左右 ; (2)请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。 Then came our first practice. I searched the web for coaching tips. 【原文翻译】 教练老爸 11 月的一个午后，在贝尔蒙特镇，我五岁的儿子杰克邀我去散步。对大多数父亲来说，这算不上什么特别时刻，但能被儿子主动邀请，我心里却暖暖的。散步时，一个念头在我脑海中浮现：对我而言，没有什么比做个好父亲更重要的了。可近来我却越来越频繁地问自己：“我真的是个好父亲吗？” 我是一名商业顾问，主要帮企业把员工培养成高效团队。这份工作很适合我，可作为父亲，我却始终没那份底气。我总觉得，我和杰克之间好像少了点什么。不过，我也并非毫无头绪。人们常说，一个人的育儿方式会受父母养育方式的影响，而我的父母（作为我的育儿榜样）也并非完美。但我和我父亲不一样 —— 杰克对我来说就是一切。 走到街尽头时，我们看到我的朋友里克正陪他儿子打篮球。“嘿，约翰，要不要来投几个球？” 里克举着篮球问道。我摇了摇头：“这可不是我的强项。” 里克把球传给杰克，然后朝我走来。“我几乎没法让杰克跟我一起做些有趣的事，你是怎么做到的啊，里克？” 我问。“我会努力把孩子看重的事当成自己的事，哪怕只是投几个球而已。” 他回答道。我心里却想：他倒轻松，他本来就喜欢运动，可我对这个一窍不通。 回家的路上，杰克说：“爸爸，学校下周五要举办家庭篮球日，我特别想参加，肯定会很有意思的！我们能去吗？求你了！” 我想起自己小时候多希望父亲能陪在身边，于是决定采纳里克的建议。那天晚上，哄杰克睡着后，我坐在电脑前填好了报名申请表。这时，我注意到表格底部有个勾选框，写着 “是否愿意担任教练？” 没等多想，我就点了 “愿意” 并发送了申请。 第二天我把这事告诉杰克时，他欢呼道：“太酷啦！” 【写作训练步骤】 一、通读全文，深度解读 读情节 开端：11 月的午后，五岁儿子 Jack 邀请 “我”（John）散步，“我” 作为商业顾问擅长团队培养，却始终对自己的父亲角色充满疑虑，不确定是否是个好父亲。 发展：散步时偶遇朋友 Rick 陪儿子打篮球，“我” 羡慕 Rick 能与孩子愉快互动，询问秘诀后得知要重视孩子在意的事，即便自己不擅长。 转折：Jack 提及学校周五有家庭篮球日，希望 “我” 陪他参加，“我” 回忆起自己童年渴望父亲陪伴的经历，决定采纳 Rick 的建议，报名参加，还冲动点击同意担任教练。 高潮：首次训练即将开始，“我” 通过网络搜寻教练技巧，准备迎接挑战。 续写开端：描写首次训练的过程，包括 “我” 的紧张、遇到的困难以及应对方式。 续写结局：阐述训练经历给 “我” 和 Jack 带来的变化，以及 “我” 对父职的新认知。 读人物 “我”（John，第一人称叙述者）：重视父职却缺乏自信，善于反思，愿意为孩子改变，从被动陪伴转变为主动投入。 Jack（儿子）：活泼可爱，渴望父亲的陪伴与参与，对篮球充满热情，是推动 “我” 改变的关键力量。 Rick（朋友）：擅长与孩子相处，懂得亲子互动技巧，为 “我” 提供了重要的启发和榜样。 读时态 全文以一般过去时为主，续写需严格保持一致。 读冲突 外在冲突：“我” 对篮球一窍不通，却要担任孩子篮球日活动的教练，面临训练技能不足、无法满足孩子期待的挑战。 内在冲突：“我” 对自身父职能力的怀疑，与渴望成为合格父亲、满足孩子需求的决心之间的矛盾；以及面对陌生领域（篮球教练）时的紧张不安与主动突破自我的挣扎。 读情绪发展 疑虑→羡慕→决心→冲动→紧张担忧→（续写发展：训练中的慌乱与调整，逐渐进入状态）→（续写结局：自信提升，父子关系升温，对父职有了清晰认知） 读主题 父职成长与自我突破（Fatherhood Growth and Self-Breakthrough） 亲子陪伴的真谛（The Essence of Parent-Child Companionship） 换位思考与主动改变（Empathy and Active Change） 重视孩子的需求（Valuing Children's Needs） 二、【十句五定法】—— 搭建你的写作框架 请根据两个段落的开头语，构思并完成以下句子，以搭建清晰的段落结构。 段落 句子功能 你的句子构思 第一段 1. 接续 Hint1 描述首次训练的场景，点明训练地点（学校操场）、参与人员（Jack 和其他孩子）以及 “我” 的紧张状态（手持教练笔记，手足无措）。 2. 动作 / 心理推进 描写训练初期的混乱（不知如何安排流程，孩子们打闹无序），“我” 内心的慌乱与自责（后悔冲动报名）。 3. 有效过渡 “我” 看到 Jack 期待又失落的眼神，下定决心冷静下来，尝试运用网络上学到的基础技巧调整训练方式。 4. 有效衔接 描述一个具体的训练片段（如教孩子们拍球、传球基础动作），“我” 耐心指导，Jack 积极配合并给予鼓励，氛围逐渐好转。 5. 段落收束 以首次训练结束时的场景收尾，“我” 虽疲惫但收获满满，对后续训练多了几分信心，也感受到 Jack 的喜悦。 第二段 6. 接续 Hint2 具体说明 “我” 通过网络学习教练技巧的细节（如观看教学视频、记录关键要点、模拟训练流程）。 7. 情节发展 描写后续训练中的进步（“我” 愈发熟练，能设计简单战术，孩子们配合更默契），以及 “我” 和 Jack 私下的篮球互动（睡前练习、讨论技巧）。 8. 主题升华 通过 “我” 的内心独白，点明对父职的新认知（合格的父亲不是完美的，而是愿意为孩子走进 TA 的世界，共同成长）。 9. 结局呈现 描述篮球日当天的精彩场景（“我” 带领孩子们积极参赛，Jack 表现出色，父子默契配合完成关键得分）。 10. 富有余韵的结尾 用一句温暖的句子结束故事，回扣主题（如：篮球不仅连接了我和 Jack 的童年，更让我读懂了父爱的真谛 —— 陪伴是最好的成长礼物）。 三、【微写作训练】—— 打磨你的语言 【人物心理描写】 紧张担忧：My palms turned sweaty as I faced the group of kids; 我面对这群孩子时，手掌心都出汗了A wave of panic swept over me when I didn’t know how to start the training.当我不知道如何开始训练时，一阵恐慌席卷了我 决心坚定：I clenched my fists tightly, determined to pull myself together for Jack’s sake; 我攥紧拳头，下定决心为了杰克振作起来A strong resolve welled up in my heart to overcome the difficulty.我心中涌起一股克服困难的坚强决心。 喜悦满足：A broad smile spread across my face when I saw Jack’s excited expression;看到杰克兴奋的表情，我脸上露出了灿烂的笑容 A sense of fulfillment warmed my chest as I watched the kids make progress.看着孩子们取得进步，我感到心里很满足。 【情感描写】 自责愧疚：Regret gnawed at me for being so impulsive to sign up as a coach;后悔自己一时冲动就报名当教练 I felt a twinge of guilt for almost letting Jack down.我几乎让杰克失望了，心里一阵愧疚。 感动温暖：Jack’s encouraging words touched my heart deeply, giving me the strength to go on;杰克的鼓励话语深深触动了我的心，给了我继续前进的力量； The warmth of father-son bond filled the air as we practiced basketball together.我们练习篮球时，父子间的温情弥漫在空气中。 自豪骄傲：I beamed with pride when Jack successfully made a shot; 当杰克成功投篮时，我脸上洋溢着自豪的笑容；A surge of pride welled up in me seeing how hard the kids worked.看到孩子们如此努力，我心中顿时涌起一股自豪感。 【动作描写】 紧张无措：I fidgeted with the coaching notes in my hand, my eyes darting around the playground nervously; I stumbled over my words as I tried to explain the rules to the kids.我手里的教练笔记让我坐立不安，眼睛在操场上来回游移；向孩子们解释规则时，我结结巴巴地说不出话来。 耐心指导：I knelt down to Jack’s level, gently correcting his shooting posture; I demonstrated the passing skill repeatedly, slowing down my movements for the kids to follow.我蹲下身子，和杰克平起平坐，耐心地纠正他的射击姿势；我反复示范传球技巧，放慢动作速度，让孩子们跟着练习。 默契互动：Jack passed the ball to me smoothly, and I tossed it back with a smile; We high-fived each other excitedly after he made a perfect shot.杰克把球轻巧地传给我，我笑着回传；他完成完美投篮后，我们兴奋地击掌庆祝。 【环境象征描写】 篮球场→从陌生挑战到亲子纽带：The basketball court, once a daunting challenge for me, became a warm platform connecting me and Jack’s hearts.篮球场曾经让我望而生畏，如今却成了温暖的桥梁，将我和杰克的心紧紧相连。 篮球→从隔阂到桥梁：The basketball, which I used to know nothing about, turned into a bridge narrowing the distance between father and son.我以前对篮球一无所知，但它却成了父亲和儿子之间拉近距离的桥梁。 夕阳→从迷茫到温暖：The setting sun cast a golden glow over the playground, symbolizing the warmth and hope brought by our shared basketball journey.夕阳将金色的光辉洒在操场上，象征着我们共同的篮球之旅带来的温暖和希望。 【微写作训练】—— 为你的故事注入灵魂 训练一：环境描写・烘托心情 （选择最贴合故事氛围的词语，并尝试造句） 心情 可选词汇（中英对照） 你的造句 紧张、无措 空旷的操场 (empty playground); 喧闹的孩子 (noisy kids); 手足无措 (at a loss) 空旷的操场里挤满了喧闹的孩子，我站在中间手足无措，大脑一片空白。 坚定、投入 专注的眼神 (focused eyes); 整齐的动作 (neat movements); 热烈的氛围 (lively atmosphere) 当看到孩子们专注的眼神，听到整齐的拍球声，热烈的氛围让我迅速投入训练。 温暖、满足 夕阳的余晖 (afterglow of the setting sun); 欢快的笑声 (cheerful laughter); 温馨的画面 (warm picture) 夕阳的余晖洒在操场上，夹杂着孩子们欢快的笑声，构成一幅温馨的画面，让我满心满足。 训练二：人物刻画・于细微处见真情 （将左边抽象的描述与右边具体的表达连线，并选择一句仿写） 我很紧张。 A. I kept scratching my head, staring at the coaching notes in my hand, unable to say a word. Jack 很期待。 B. His eyes sparkled with excitement, bouncing up and down as he waited for the training to start. 我很感动。 C. My eyes blurred slightly when I heard Jack say, "Dad, you’re the best coach ever!" （参考答案： 1-A; 2-B; 3-C） 训练三：情感表达・找到 “高级替身” （圈出你会在正式写作中使用的词语，并替换掉直白的表达） 想说 "nervous" (紧张): 试试 a knot in my stomach (心里发紧), feel jittery (心神不宁), be on edge (紧张不安)想说 "happy" (开心): 试试 be over the moon (欣喜若狂), glow with joy (喜气洋洋), my heart soared (心花怒放)想说 "regret" (后悔): 试试 be seized with regret (突然后悔), remorse welled up (悔恨涌上心头), wish I hadn’t done (真希望没做过) 例句升级：原句：I was nervous but happy when the training went well.升级句: A knot in my stomach lingered at the beginning, but it was replaced by a glow of joy as the training went smoothly, making my heart soar with pride. 训练四：动作细节・让情感可视化 （请为以下情境，设计一个包含具体动作和身体反应的句子） 情境 1：“我” 首次训练面对孩子们，紧张到说不出话。直白版: I was too nervous to speak in the first training.细节版: I ______, my throat ______ as I opened my mouth, while my hands ______ the crumpled coaching notes tightly. (参考：stood frozen in front of the kids; drying up; gripped) 情境 2：Jack 成功投进第一个球，“我” 为他欢呼。直白版: I cheered for Jack when he made his first shot.细节版: Jumping up and down excitedly, I ______, "Great job, Jack!" My voice ______ with pride as I rushed over to give him a big hug. (参考: shouted at the top of my lungs; trembling) 训练五：象征与隐喻・让主题更深刻 （将抽象概念与具体意象连接，完成句子） 篮球训练 (The basketball training) → 不仅是一项活动，更象征着 ______ (a journey of father-son growth, where I learn to be a better dad and Jack feels the warmth of companionship)。 最初的紧张 (The initial nervousness) → 从 ______ (a sign of my incompetence as a father) 变成了 ______ (a motivation to push myself and become more responsible)。 这次篮球日经历 (The Family Basketball Day experience) → 是 “我” 从 ______ (a father who doubts himself) 到 ______ (a confident dad who dares to try and accompany his child) 的转折点。 【微写作训练】参考答案 训练一：环境描写・烘托心情 紧张、无措：空旷的操场里挤满了喧闹的孩子，我站在中间手足无措，大脑一片空白。 坚定、投入：当看到孩子们专注的眼神，听到整齐的拍球声，热烈的氛围让我迅速投入训练。 温暖、满足：夕阳的余晖洒在操场上，夹杂着孩子们欢快的笑声，构成一幅温馨的画面，让我满心满足。 训练二：人物刻画・于细微处见真情 连线答案: 1 - A; 2 - B; 3 - C 仿写示例 (选择第 2 句): Her face lit up with excitement, clapping her hands repeatedly as she watched her favorite singer walk onto the stage. 训练三：情感表达・找到 “高级替身” 站在孩子们面前准备训练时，我心里发紧 (a knot in my stomach)。 看到 Jack 在篮球日表现出色，我心花怒放 (my heart soared)。 想起自己一开始差点放弃当教练，我突然后悔 (was seized with regret)。 例句升级: A knot in my stomach lingered at the beginning, but it was replaced by a glow of joy as the training went smoothly, making my heart soar with pride. 训练四：动作细节・让情感可视化 情境 1 (细节版): I stood frozen in front of the kids (僵硬地站在孩子们面前), my throat drying up (喉咙发紧) as I opened my mouth, while my hands gripped (紧紧攥着) the crumpled coaching notes tightly. 情境 2 (细节版): Jumping up and down excitedly, I shouted at the top of my lungs (用尽全身力气大喊), "Great job, Jack!" My voice trembling (带着骄傲的颤抖) with pride as I rushed over to give him a big hug. 训练五：象征与隐喻・让主题更深刻 篮球训练 (The basketball training) → 不仅是一项活动，更象征着 a journey of father-son growth, where I learn to be a better dad and Jack feels the warmth of companionship (一段父子成长的旅程，在这里我学会成为更好的父亲，Jack 感受到陪伴的温暖)。 最初的紧张 (The initial nervousness) → 从 a sign of my incompetence as a father (我作为父亲无能的标志) 变成了 a motivation to push myself and become more responsible (推动我进步、变得更有责任感的动力)。 这次篮球日经历 (The Family Basketball Day experience) → 是 “我” 从 a father who doubts himself (一个怀疑自己的父亲) 到 a confident dad who dares to try and accompany his child (一个敢于尝试、陪伴孩子的自信父亲) 的转折点。 四、【微动作训练】—— 让情感在行动中展现 训练一：动作 - 情绪绑定 （请根据中文提示，补全英文句子，完成 “动作 - 情绪” 的精准绑定） 1. 场景：紧张开场英文：I took a deep breath repeatedly (反复深呼吸), straightening my back slightly as I stepped forward to face the kids (微微挺直后背，走上前面对孩子们).中文：我反复深呼吸，微微挺直后背，走上前面对孩子们。 2. 场景：耐心指导英文：As I corrected Jack’s shooting posture, my fingers gently adjusted his wrist (手指轻轻调整他的手腕), my voice softening with patience (声音里充满耐心，变得温柔).中文：在纠正 Jack 投篮姿势时，我的手指轻轻调整他的手腕，声音里充满耐心，变得温柔。 3. 场景：自豪拥抱英文：Wrapping Jack tightly in my arms (紧紧把 Jack 抱在怀里), I patted his back lightly (轻轻拍着他的后背), a wide smile spreading across my face (脸上绽放出灿烂的笑容).中文：紧紧把 Jack 抱在怀里，轻轻拍着他的后背，脸上绽放出灿烂的笑容。 训练二：细节放大镜 （请将简单的动作，通过添加 1-2 个细节进行升级，使其更具表现力） 1. 原句： I taught the kids to play basketball.细节升级： I demonstrated the basic dribbling skills step by step, slowing down my movements and explaining each step clearly (一步步演示基础运球技巧，放慢动作，清晰解释每一个步骤). 2. 原句： Jack passed the ball to me.细节升级： Jack held the ball with both hands, aimed carefully at me, and tossed it gently, his eyes fixed on the ball as it flew through the air (Jack 双手持球，仔细瞄准我，轻轻把球抛出，眼睛紧紧盯着在空中飞过的球). 你的练习：原句： We celebrated the success.细节升级： We ______, ______. (参考：high-fived each other excitedly, laughing loudly as we jumped up and down, enjoying the moment of success together) 训练三：综合情景创作 （请运用以上所有技巧，为以下情景创作一个包含微动作描写的句子） 情景：篮球日活动结束后，“我” 和 Jack 坐在操场边回顾当天的经历，内心充满温暖与自豪。要求：必须包含一个互动动作的细节和一个面部表情或身体姿态的细节，来表现 “我” 此时的心情。 你的创作：（参考：As Jack leaned his head on my shoulder, I gently ruffled his hair with my hand, a soft and contented smile lingering on my face, feeling proud of how far we’d come together through the basketball training.） 【微动作训练】参考答案 训练一：动作 - 情绪绑定 我反复深呼吸，微微挺直后背，走上前面对孩子们。I took a deep breath repeatedly, straightening my back slightly as I stepped forward to face the kids. 在纠正 Jack 投篮姿势时，我的手指轻轻调整他的手腕，声音里充满耐心，变得温柔。As I corrected Jack’s shooting posture, my fingers gently adjusted his wrist, my voice softening with patience. 紧紧把 Jack 抱在怀里，轻轻拍着他的后背，脸上绽放出灿烂的笑容。Wrapping Jack tightly in my arms, I patted his back lightly, a wide smile spreading across my face. 训练二：细节放大镜 原句: I taught the kids to play basketball.细节升级: I demonstrated the basic dribbling skills step by step, slowing down my movements and explaining each step clearly. 原句: Jack passed the ball to me.细节升级: Jack held the ball with both hands, aimed carefully at me, and tossed it gently, his eyes fixed on the ball as it flew through the air. 你的练习:原句: We celebrated the success.细节升级: We high-fived each other excitedly, laughing loudly as we jumped up and down, enjoying the moment of success together. 训练三：综合情景创作 你的创作 (参考示例):As Jack leaned his head on my shoulder, I gently ruffled his hair with my hand, a soft and contented smile lingering on my face, feeling proud of how far we’d come together through the basketball training. 五、综合训练与范文引导 读后续写范文语法填空题（侧重关键信息考察） 阅读下面短文，根据续写情节的关键信息，在空白处填入恰当的单词，使短文完整通顺。 Then came our first practice. Not so awesome. I had the kids in our team gather around. Eight eager faces stared up at me. “Welcome to our first practice. We’re going to have fun!” They looked at me blankly. Did they realize I had no idea what I was doing? “Let’s shoot some ______ (填 “动作对象名词，表核心训练内容”) , ”I proceeded to demonstrate without success... three times! Worse still , I didn’t have a ______ (填 “物品名词，表教练必备工具，呼应后文”) . My kids were wandering around ______ (填 “状态副词，表孩子无序状态”) . Even Jack seemed ______ (填 “状态形容词，表 Jack 的失落”) . A wave of ______ (填 “情感名词，表‘我’的核心感受”) washed over me. “I’ve made a huge mistake , ”I thought to myself. “I’m just going to disappoint Jack. ”I couldn’t let that happen. I had to find a way to ______ (填 “动词，表‘我’的关键行动，与‘振奋’相关”) him up , no matter what. I searched the web for coaching tips. One stood out : success comes when your heart is in the right ______ (填 “名词，表主题相关观点，原文直接提及”) . Suddenly , everything clicked. My father had given me ______ (填 “名词复数，表父亲传承的品质，助力‘我’成长”) that served me well at work ; now , they would help me focus on what mattered to Jack. I dove into learning basketball ______ (填 “名词复数，表‘我’学习的核心内容”) , not forgetting to get myself a whistle. The next practice , I gathered my team and said ,“Follow your heart ; things work out! ”I patiently walked them through the basics and ______ (填 “动词过去式，表‘我’的示范动作，与‘展示’相关”) the movements. A flow of passing and shooting on ______ (填 “名词，表训练场地”) . Then a shot banked in. “Dad , I did it! ”Jack jumped for joy. I ran over , gave him a high ______ (填 “数词，表父子互动的关键动作”) and lifted him up. For me , this moment was everything. 参考答案 baskets whistle aimlessly lost embarrassment cheer place qualities basics modeled court five 解析（结合续写关键信息） baskets：对应 “shoot some baskets”（投篮），是 “我” 首次训练设计的核心内容，体现 “我” 试图开展训练却因能力不足失败的情节，是 “训练混乱” 冲突的关键动作载体。 whistle：表教练必备的指挥工具，前文 “没有哨子” 凸显 “我” 作为教练的准备不足，后文 “not forgetting to get myself a whistle” 形成呼应，是情节 “从混乱到有序” 的铺垫细节。 aimlessly：描述孩子 “漫无目的地闲逛” 的无序状态，直观展现首次训练的混乱，强化 “我” 的挫败感，是外在冲突的具体表现。 lost：体现 Jack 面对混乱训练的失落状态，呼应前文 Jack 对篮球日的期待，也是 “我” 决心改变的核心动力（不愿让 Jack 失望），是情感冲突的关键节点。 embarrassment：是 “我” 首次训练失败后的核心情感 —— 因能力不足、场面失控感到尴尬，推动 “我” 后续寻找教练技巧的行动，是内在情感发展的转折点。 cheer：对应 “cheer him up”（让他振奋起来），是 “我” 不愿让 Jack 失望的关键行动，体现 “我” 对父子情感的重视，为后文 “主动学习技巧” 埋下伏笔。 place：源自网络技巧 “success comes when your heart is in the right place”（用心就能成功），是 “我” 心态转变的关键指引，点明 “重视孩子需求” 的主题，推动情节从 “迷茫” 到 “清晰”。 qualities：指父亲传承给 “我” 的、助 “我” 工作顺利的品质，此处延伸到父职场景，体现 “父职经验的传承与迁移”，深化 “成长型父亲” 的人物形象。 basics：表 “我” 主动学习的 “篮球基础”，是 “我” 为改变训练现状付出的实际努力，体现 “我” 的行动力，是情节 “从失败到成功” 的关键过渡。 modeled：描述 “我” 耐心示范动作的细节，与首次训练 “demonstrate without success” 形成对比，展现 “我” 的进步，是训练场面 “从混乱到有序” 的具体表现。 court：表 “球场”，是训练和投篮成功的场景载体，“a flow of passing and shooting on court” 直观呈现训练顺利的状态，与前文混乱形成反差，凸显改变后的效果。 five：对应 “high five”（击掌），是 Jack 投篮成功后父子互动的关键动作，传递喜悦与认可，是 “我” 实现父职突破的标志性瞬间，呼应 “亲子情感升温” 的主题。 1 学科网（北京）股份有限公司 $