内容正文:
Section Ⅳ Writing
[对应学生用书P106]
续写故事结尾
本单元的写作任务是续写一则故事的结尾,属于读后续写的范畴。通过阅读上文获取信息,整理出时间、人物、事件的逻辑关联性;在此基础上,进行发散思维,发挥足够的想象力,构思出合理的情节;再谋篇布局,遣词造句,使上下行文连贯,成为有机的整体。续写所提供的语言材料的体裁以记叙文和夹叙夹议文为主。文章题材多样,但多为情节丰富的小故事,趣味性和逻辑性较强。该试题具有一定的开放性,要求学生详细且生动地展现情境、态度和情感。
[写作技巧]
第一步:准确理解材料,理清人物事件,明确叙事意图
在准确理解故事之后,应根据“谁、发生了什么”这两大叙事性记叙文要点,迅速厘清故事人物及人物关系,提炼故事主旨。在确定原文主旨后,快速厘清原文对主要人或物的描写,确定叙事意图。
第二步:根据段落开头语和原文主旨,确定合理续写情节
利用所给段落开头语中的关键信息,结合原文主旨和叙事意图,对故事情节的发展进行合理的猜测。确保续写部分的情节与段落开头语保持情节上的自然衔接,不能忽略段落首句的限制而肆意创作。
第三步:“两情相悦”,添加合理续写细节
“两情相悦”其一指续写部分的情节线与原文的情节线是融洽一致的,如课文《二十年后》的续写部分,应叙述鲍勃和他的朋友吉米二十年后会面的约定是否达成。“两情相悦”其二指续写部分的情感线与原文情感线前后呼应。添加合理的续写细节可从两个方面着手:
1.环境描写
(1)选择与主题和情节设置一致的环境要素,以营造故事发生的特定环境。如下面原文中提到的黑暗的树林和狭窄的小路,所以续写中描写的景物应与此相关。
(2)细致深入。一定要运用所学的词汇和句法对所选的景物进行细致深入的描写。
(3)添加附加信息,如天气变化和周边的景物等。
(4)环境细节描写一定要与动作和心理活动等相结合,才能更好地完成续写任务。
2.人物描写
描写人物可以从动作描写和心理描写两方面着手,这使得人物形象栩栩如生、活灵活现,个性特征更加鲜明。
(1)动作描写
①要准确:表现一个动作可以利用多个动词,但应恰当利用最准确的动词刻画对应的动作。
②要过程:运用展示人物个性的动作时,应通过细节描写展示出动作的过程,在续写时,按动作的先后顺序叙述整个过程。
③要修饰:在描写动作时,可利用各种状语,说明时间、地点、原因、伴随等情况,使动作描写更加丰富。
(2)心理描写
心理描写可以揭示人物的内心世界,表达人物的性格、特点、感情和思想等。心理描写要符合人物特征。
①直接描写:直接写主人公的想法、感受、打算等。
②间接描写:当人物的性格不同、情绪不同,其所表现出的动作和神态也就不同,因此可以利用人物的动作和神态体现其心理,也可以利用语言描写表现人物心理。
第四步:沿用原文语言特点,恰当衔接过渡
续写中应分析原文语言特点,灵活运用多样的描述动作、心理和环境的相关词汇和句式,生动地叙述故事情节和人物情感的发展。在续写过程中可运用恰当的过渡衔接词,如and,but,finally,then;评注性副词,如gratefully,surprisingly,amazingly;以及介词短语to one's surprise,to one's joy等合理过渡上下文,使故事情节的叙述自然流畅。
第五步:检查誊写
阅读下面的材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
Every evening Sylvie left her grandmother's house to bring her cow home.The old animal spent her days in the open country eating grass.It was Sylvie's job to bring her home to be milked.
This evening, as usual, the child hurried the cow through the dark forest, following a narrow path that led to her grandmother's home.
She came across a young man in front of the house.“Hello, little girl,”he said,“I've been looking for birds, but I've lost my way.”The young man explained he was a scientist, who searched for birds.“Do you put them in a cage (鸟笼)?”Sylvie asked.“No,”he answered,“I kill them and keep them for my study.”
“I saw a white heron (苍鹭) not far from here yesterday.Have you seen it, too?”he asked Sylvie.Sylvie's heart began to beat fast.She had seen that white bird on the other side of the forest.The young man continued.“I will give $10 to you if you show me where it is.”
Sylvie thought happily she would get the $10 for her grandmother.Then she went to climb to the top of a tall tree.The higher Sylvie climbed, the taller the tree seemed to grow.Suddenly, a bird with broad white wings and a long neck flew past Sylvie.The white heron sat on the nest in a nearby tree.She found the heron's secret home.
注意:1.续写词数应为150左右。
2.请按如下格式作答。
Sylvie slowly began her dangerous trip down the tall tree.
When Sylvie returned, both her grandmother and the young man stood up.
[审题构思]
第一步:准确理解材料,理清人物事件,明确叙事意图
原文主旨:西尔维(Sylvie)在某天牵牛回家的路上遇到一位年轻的科学家,科学家在寻找苍鹭,用来解剖进行研究。他愿意给西尔维10美元,只要西尔维告诉他鸟的去处。
叙事意图:西尔维从树上下来的过程中的心理描写和讲明西尔维的选择:保护苍鹭还是告诉年轻的科学家鸟的去处。
第二步:根据段落开头语和原文主旨,确定合理续写情节
确定结局之后,结合续写段落首句中的关键词dangerous,tall tree,returned 和stood up可知,西尔维要从危险的高树上下来的心理和已回到家中应面对的问题,结合原文情节线和感情线可安排续写情节如下:西尔维害怕往下看,试图忘记身上的伤以及如果自己告诉年轻的科学家苍鹭的鸟巢后自己会得到的东西和西尔维回到家中,却没有告诉年轻的科学家苍鹭的去处,科学家失望地离去。西尔维能每天开心地听苍鹭唱歌。
第三步:“两情相悦”,添加合理续写细节
1.环境描写:根据文中的the dark forest 和a narrow path并结合情节安排,可描写西尔维在保护好苍鹭之后,每天牵牛回家时树林的环境。
2.动作描写:可以描写年轻的科学家在听到西尔维的话后的反应和动作。
3.心理描写:如果西尔维选择告诉年轻的科学家苍鹭的鸟巢后自己会得到10美元的心情或如果不告诉科学家苍鹭的鸟巢,科学家的心理应该是失望的,但西尔维会因为苍鹭仍然能自由自在地在树林里唱歌而感到开心。在进行心理描写时,可以运用不同的形容词,如disappointed,sad,excited,happy等描述西尔维和科学家的心理变化。
第四步:沿用原文语言特点,恰当衔接过渡
原文运用并列句、定语从句、宾语从句、表语从句、状语从句和非谓语动词叙述故事,在续写中应运用这些句式丰富续写情节,与原文在语言风格上融洽一致。在叙述事情发展时,可运用过渡词合理过渡,使续写部分浑然一体。
第五步 检查誊写
Sylvie slowly began her dangerous trip down the tall tree.
When Sylvie returned, both her grandmother and the young man stood up.
One possible version:
Sylvie slowly began her dangerous trip down the tall tree.She didn't dare to look down and tried to forget that her fingers were hurt and her feet were bleeding.All Sylvie wanted to think about was what the stranger would give to her when she told him where to find the heron's nest.
When Sylvie returned, both her grandmother and the young man stood up.The fine moment to speak about her secret came.But Sylvie was silent.She thought she could not tell the heron's secret home.She wanted to protect it.The young man felt disappointed and went away later that day.Sylvie was also sad.In fact, she wanted to be his friend.However, the stranger never returned again.But to her joy, every night Sylvie could hear the sound of the heron in the small forest as she came home with her cow.And she felt the forest became more beautiful than before.
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