2027届湛江调研考应用文习作——国土安全homeland security 课件（含导学案）

2027届湛江调研考 应用文写作讲评 你校英语俱乐部准备举行以“国土安全（homeland security）”为主题的英语演讲比赛，请你写一篇演讲稿，内容包括： 1.你的认识； 2.你的做法。 审题： 第一步：文体 第二步：时态 第三步：人称 内容要点 ①问候+点明演讲主题; ②阐述自己对于国土安全(homeland security)的认识； ③‌介绍作为中学生的具体做法，礼貌收尾。 评分原则 1. 按内容完整性、语言准确性、文体恰当性、格式规范性四维度综合评分，遵循“先定档、后微调”原则，重点考查信息传递效率与语用能力。 2. 词数要求80词左右，不足65词，酌情扣1-2分。 3. 语言错误扣分：轻微错误（拼写、标点小误，不影响理解）每3处扣1分；严重错误（语法错误、用词不当，影响句意）每处扣1分，累计不超过3分。 4. 内容要点缺失视为核心错误，直接下调档级；逻辑混乱酌情扣1-2分。 各档次的给分范围及要求 档次 描述 第五档 13~15分 完全完成了试题规定的任务： *内容：完全覆盖“对国土安全的认识+中学生具体做法”两个核心要点，信息完整且有细节。①对国土安全理解具体（如“Homeland security safeguards our social stability and every citizen’s peaceful life.”）；②个人做法清晰可行（如“We should raise awareness of national security and refuse to spread harmful online information.”），逻辑清晰。 *语言：词汇丰富（如safeguard、awareness、stability、potential），语法结构多样（含宾语从句、状语从句、介词短语，例：It is high time that teenagers should realize the importance of homeland security.），几乎无错误；语气正式得体，符合演讲稿的语用要求。 *格式：段落布局合理，书写规范。完全达到了预期的写作目的。 第四档 10~12分 完全完成了试题规定的任务： *内容：覆盖所有核心要点，信息完整。对国土安全的认识、个人做法介绍较具体（如“Homeland security is important for us students and we should pay attention to it in daily life.”），逻辑较连贯。 *语言：词汇较丰富（如important、protect、realize、action），语法结构较多样（含简单复合句，例：Homeland security is something that every teenager should take seriously.），少量轻微错误（不影响理解）；语气得体，符合演讲稿文体要求。 *格式：段落布局较合理，书写较规范，无明显疏漏。达到了预期的写作目的。 第三档 7~9分 基本完成了试题规定的任务： *内容：基本覆盖要点，信息较完整。认识或者做法稍显笼统（如“Homeland security is good for our country. We students need to do something for it.”）；核心信息无缺失，逻辑基本清晰。 *语言：词汇基本够用（如good、need、should、country），以简单句为主（例：We should learn something about homeland security.），少量语法错误（部分影响表达流畅度）；语气较得体，但稍显生硬。 *格式：段落布局基本合理，可能存在轻微格式疏漏。整体而言，基本达到了预期的写作目的。 第二档 4~6分 未适当完成试题规定的任务： *内容：未覆盖主要要点，信息不完整。对国土安全的认识或个人做法表述模糊空洞，逻辑混乱。 *语言：词汇贫乏，语法错误较多（影响理解），句式单一；语气不当。 *格式：段落布局混乱，书写潦草。信息未能清楚地传达给读者。 第一档 1~3分 未完成试题规定的任务： *内容：几乎未涉及题目要求，仅零星提及相关词汇，信息严重缺失。 *语言：词汇严重不足，语法错误密集，无法准确传达含义；无完整句子或句意混乱。 *格式：书写难以辨认。信息未能传达给读者。 0分 未能传达给读者任何信息；内容太少，无法评判；写的内容均与所要求内容无关或所写内容无法看清。 写作词汇与短语 1. protect our motherland ______________________ safeguard our homeland ______________________ 2. national interest ______________________ 3. every citizen ______________________ 4. teenagers /young students ______________________ 5. online information ______________________ 6. spread positive energy ______________________ 7. obey the law ______________________ 8. raise awareness ______________________ 9. keep alert ______________________ 10. be closely linked to … ______________________ 11. maintain social stability ______________________ 12. safeguard national interests ______________________ 13. resist harmful information ______________________ 14. take responsibility for ______________________ 15. be aware of potential risks ______________________ 16. contribute to ______________________ 17. the bottom line of development ______________________ 18. cultural security, cyber security, food security ______________________ 19.potential risks ______________________ 句式升级 1、 国家安全是我们和平生活与发展的基石 ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ 2、 它不只是军人和公职人员的任务，和我们每个人息息相关 ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ 3、 我们应该意识到它的重要性 ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ 4、 我们要努力学习。 ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ 5、 我们要原理错误的网络信息。 ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ 6、 我们可以传播正确的思想。 ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ 7、 我们要理性辨别网络信息，抵制谣言。 ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ 8、 国家安全和我们每个人息息相关，我们青少年应当提高安全意识。 ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ 9、 我们可以从小事做起，为国家安全贡献力量。 ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ 范文赏析 It’s my great honor to deliver a speech on homeland security. From my perspective, homeland security is the solid foundation for our country’s progress and our peaceful daily life. Personally, homeland security includes territory safety, cultural safety and so on, and it involves every citizen. It’s not only the task of our government, but also an important duty for every teenager. We can never enjoy peace and prosperity without a secure homeland. So I’ll improve my security awareness and follow relevant rules. I’ll also share security knowledge with those around me. Let’s try our best to protect our homeland. Thank you! It’s my great honor to deliver a speech on homeland security. From my perspective, homeland security serves as the solid foundation for our country’s steady progress and every citizen’s peaceful daily life. Personally, homeland security covers territory safety, cultural safety as well as cyber safety. It is closely linked to each of us. It is not only the task of our government, but also an important duty for every teenager. As a matter of fact, we can never enjoy lasting peace and prosperity unless our homeland remains secure. Therefore, I will raise my awareness of potential risks and strictly follow relevant laws and rules. When surfing online, I will stay alert and refuse to spread false information. Besides, I am ready to share practical security knowledge with family members and classmates around me. Small efforts add up. Let’s try our best to safeguard our homeland. Thank you! It’s my great honor to deliver a speech on homeland security. From my perspective, homeland security, which serves as the solid foundation of national development, covers territory, cultural and cyber security. Far from being merely the responsibility of authorities, it binds every individual closely. Only when we keep it secure can we embrace lasting peace and prosperity. As teenagers, we should raise awareness of hidden risks and abide by relevant regulations. While browsing online, we ought to resist rumours. Moreover, we are supposed to promote security knowledge around us and strive to safeguard our homeland. Thank you! 学科网（北京）股份有限公司 $2027届 湛江调研考 应用文写作讲评 Sean 陈翥翔 应用文写作 第三部分 写作 第一节 你校英语俱乐部准备举行以“国土安全（homeland security）”为主题的英语演讲比赛，请你写一篇演讲稿，内容包括： 1.你的认识； 2.你的做法。 题型定位 ： 审题 文体：演讲稿（speech），属于正式口头发言稿 格式：含开头问候、正文、结尾致谢；语气正式，庄重、积极，符合校园英语演讲比赛交际场景 人称：第一人称为主。 时态：主要使用一般现在时（阐述认识、说明个人做法）。 内容要点 ①问候+点明演讲主题; ②阐述自己对于国土安全(homeland security)的认识； ③‌介绍作为中学生的具体做法，礼貌收尾。 内容要点 两个要点必须全覆盖，缺一个直接降档 ① 对国土安全 homeland security 的认识（内涵：不只是边境、军事；也包括网络安全、文化安全、粮食安全、生态安全，和每一个普通人息息相关，国家安全，人人有责） ② 你作为一个青少年的做法（学习、守法、理性上网、抵制有害信息、传递正能量、爱国、从小事做起） 避坑重点（学生高频丢分点） ✘ 不要写得太宏大空洞、堆砌大词，脱离高中生身份； ✘ 不要出现敏感表述，立足青少年视角：了解、警惕、自律、宣传 ✘ 逻辑链：是什么 → 为什么重要 → 我们青少年能做什么； ✘ 时态：一般现在时为主。 评分原则 1. 按内容完整性、语言准确性、文体恰当性、格式规范性四维度综合评分，遵循“先定档、后微调”原则，重点考查信息传递效率与语用能力2. 词数要求80词左右，不足65词，酌情扣1-2分。 3. 语言错误扣分：轻微错误（拼写、标点小误，不影响理解）每3处扣1分；严重错误（语法错误、用词不当，影响句意）每处扣1分，累计不超过3分。 4. 内容要点缺失视为核心错误，直接下调档级；逻辑混乱酌情扣1-2分。 给分范围及要求 档次 描述 第五档 13~15分 完全完成了试题规定的任务： 内容：完全覆盖“对国土安全的认识+中学生具体做法”两个核心要点，信息完整且有细节。①对国土安全理解具体（如“Homeland security safeguards our social stability and every citizen’s peaceful life.”）；②个人做法清晰可行（如“We should raise awareness of national security and refuse to spread harmful online information.”），逻辑清晰。 语言：词汇丰富（如safeguard、awareness、stability、potential），语法结构多样（含宾语从句、状语从句、介词短语，例：It is high time that teenagers should realize the importance of homeland security.），几乎无错误；语气正式得体，符合演讲稿的语用要求。 格式：段落布局合理，书写规范。完全达到了预期的写作目的。 给分范围及要求 档次 描述 第四档 10~12分 完全完成了试题规定的任务： *内容：覆盖所有核心要点，信息完整。对国土安全的认识、个人做法介绍较具体（如“Homeland security is important for us students and we should pay attention to it in daily life.”），逻辑较连贯。 *语言：词汇较丰富（如important、protect、realize、action），语法结构较多样（含简单复合句，例：Homeland security is something that every teenager should take seriously.），少量轻微错误（不影响理解）；语气得体，符合演讲稿文体要求。 *格式：段落布局较合理，书写较规范，无明显疏漏。达到了预期的写作目的。 给分范围及要求 档次 描述 第三档 7~9分 基本完成了试题规定的任务： *内容：基本覆盖要点，信息较完整。认识或者做法稍显笼统（如“Homeland security is good for our country. We students need to do something for it.”）；核心信息无缺失，逻辑基本清晰。 *语言：词汇基本够用（如good、need、should、country），以简单句为主（例：We should learn something about homeland security.），少量语法错误（部分影响表达流畅度）；语气较得体，但稍显生硬。 *格式：段落布局基本合理，可能存在轻微格式疏漏。整体而言，基本达到了预期的写作目的。 给分范围及要求 档次 描述 第二档 4~6分 未适当完成试题规定的任务： *内容：未覆盖主要要点，信息不完整。对国土安全的认识或个人做法表述模糊空洞，逻辑混乱。 *语言：词汇贫乏，语法错误较多（影响理解），句式单一；语气不当。 *格式：段落布局混乱，书写潦草。信息未能清楚地传达给读者。 给分范围及要求 档次 描述 第一档 1~3分 未完成试题规定的任务： *内容：几乎未涉及题目要求，仅零星提及相关词汇，信息严重缺失。 *语言：词汇严重不足，语法错误密集，无法准确传达含义；无完整句子或句意混乱。 *格式：书写难以辨认。信息未能传达给读者。 1. protect our motherland 保卫祖国 safeguard our homeland 守护国土 2. national interest 国家利益 3. every citizen 每一位公民 4. teenagers /young students 青少年 5. online information 网络信息 6. spread positive energy 传播正能量 7. obey the law 遵守法律 Vocabulary 1. raise awareness 提高意识 2. keep alert 保持警惕 3. be closely linked to … 和…… 紧密相连 4. maintain social stability 维护社会稳定 5. safeguard national interests 维护国家利益 6. resist harmful information 抵制有害信息 7. take responsibility for 为…… 承担责任 Vocabulary 1. be aware of potential risks 意识到潜在风险 2. contribute to 为…… 做贡献 3. the bottom line of development 发展的底线 4. cultural security, cyber security, food security 文化安全、网络安全、粮食安全 5.potential risks 潜在风险 Vocabulary 国家安全是我们和平生活与发展的基石. Structure National security is very important to us. National security is the foundation of our peaceful life and development. 它不只是军人和公职人员的任务，和我们每个人息息相关 Structure It concerns everyone. It is not only a task for soldiers or officials, but also closely concerns every one of us. 我们应该意识到它的重要性 Structure We should know its importance. Only when we realize its great importance can we protect our homeland well. 我们要努力学习。 Structure We should study hard. As teenagers, first of all, we should study hard and enrich our knowledge. 我们要远离错误的网络信息。 Structure We should stay away from bad online news. We need to judge online information wisely and refuse to spread false or harmful messages. 我们可以传播正确的思想。 Structure We can tell others about it. We can spread the idea of national security to people around us. 我们要理性辨别网络信息，抵制谣言。 Structure We should judge / distinguish online information wisely and resist rumours. 国家安全和我们每个人息息相关，我们青少年应当提高安全意识。 Structure Since national security is closely connected with each of us，we ,as teenagers, are supposed to raise our awareness of security. 我们可以从小事做起，为国家安全贡献力量。 Structure We can start with small things and contribute to national security. It’s my great honor to deliver a speech on homeland security. From my perspective, homeland security is the solid foundation for our country’s progress and our peaceful daily life. Personally, homeland security includes territory safety, cultural safety and so on, and it involves every citizen. It’s not only the task of our government, but also an important duty for every teenager. We can never enjoy peace and prosperity without a secure homeland. Example So I’ll improve my security awareness and follow relevant rules. I’ll also share security knowledge with those around me. Let’s try our best to protect our homeland. Thank you! It’s my great honor to deliver a speech on homeland security. From my perspective, homeland security serves as the solid foundation for our country’s steady progress and every citizen’s peaceful daily life. Personally, homeland security covers territory safety, cultural safety as well as cyber safety. It is closely linked to each of us. It is not only the task of our government, but also an important duty for every teenager. As a matter of fact, we can never enjoy lasting peace and prosperity unless our homeland remains secure. Example Therefore, I will raise my awareness of potential risks and strictly follow relevant laws and rules. When surfing online, I will stay alert and refuse to spread false information. Besides, I am ready to share practical security knowledge with family members and classmates around me. Small efforts add up. Let’s try our best to safeguard our homeland. Thank you! It’s my great honor to deliver a speech on homeland security. From my perspective, homeland security, which serves as the solid foundation of national development, covers territory, cultural and cyber security. Far from being merely the responsibility of authorities, it binds every individual closely. Only when we keep it secure can we embrace lasting peace and prosperity. Example As teenagers, we should raise awareness of hidden risks and abide by relevant regulations. While browsing online, we ought to resist rumours. Moreover, we are supposed to promote security knowledge around us and strive to safeguard our homeland. Thank you! THANK YOU! Sean 陈翥翔 $