内容正文:
读后续写环境描写(讲义)
一、环境描写要领
1.1 定位
环境描写是"以景衬情"的核心手段:先写景(风/光/树/云),再写人物心情/动作;用分词、独立主格把景物与人物绑定,不拆成两个简单句;感官叠加(视觉+触觉+嗅觉)使画面更立体。
1.2 高分写作逻辑
先写景,后写人:景物铺垫情绪底色。
用分词/独立主格绑定景物与人物,避免碎句。
感官叠加:视觉(光、树)+ 触觉(冷暖)+ 嗅觉(花香、露水)。
以景衬情:寒冷→紧张;温暖阳光/花香/星光→治愈。
时态统一:全篇一般过去时,分词不受时态影响。
二、核心环境词块
2.1 自然景物
英文
中文
golden sunshine
金色的阳光
soft breeze
微风
gentle wind
和风
light drizzle
蒙蒙细雨
heavy downpour
倾盆大雨
clear blue sky
湛蓝的天空
twinkling stars
闪烁的繁星
blooming flowers
盛开的鲜花
lush green trees
郁郁葱葱的树木
carpet of fallen leaves
落叶铺成的地毯
rolling hills
连绵的山川
winding river
蜿蜒的小河
towering mountains
巍峨的高山
crystal stream
清澈的溪流
vast silent sky
辽阔静谧的天空
silver moon
银色的月光
rosy clouds
霞光
wildflowers
野花
meadow
草甸
frost
霜
2.2 氛围心境
英文
中文
peaceful and quiet
宁静祥和
lonely and desolate
荒凉与孤寂
warm and cozy
温暖与惬意
misty and hazy
雾气朦胧
boundless wilderness
无边的旷野
silent surroundings
寂静的环境
fresh air
清新的空气
Dusk fell.
暮色降临。
the first light of dawn
黎明的曙光
Moonlight poured down.
月光倾泻。
a tense silence
紧张的寂静
an eerie quiet
阴森的寂静
a cozy glow
温暖的微光
a peaceful stillness
宁静的静谧
三、环境要素层级速查(要素 × 氛围)
续写前先定"氛围",再选对应要素;用负面要素烘托紧张,正面要素衬托治愈。
要素
正面(希望/温馨)
中性(平淡)
负面(压抑/紧张)
天气
阳光和煦/晴
多云微风
阴雨雷电
自然
繁花绿草
山川静谧
枯藤老树
光线
金色晨光
普通白昼
昏暗暮色
场所
温馨小屋
普通街巷
荒废废墟
氛围
宁静温暖
平淡日常
阴森紧张
四、天气专题(精选例句)
表达
中文
例句
a soft rain
细雨
A soft rain began to fall, washing the world clean.
a gust of wind
一阵风
A gust of wind rustled the leaves overhead.
a heavy snow
大雪
A heavy snow blanketed the town in white.
thick fog
浓雾
Thick fog wrapped the street in silence.
warm sunshine
温暖阳光
Warm sunshine spilled over the quiet yard.
Dark clouds gathered,
乌云密布
Dark clouds gathered, with a sign of the storm.
rain pattered on
雨点轻敲
Rain pattered on the window, soothing her.
thunder rolled
雷声滚滚
Thunder rolled and the dogs whined.
五、改编习题
5.1 核心环境词块 中译英
将下列中文环境词块译成英文(风、雨、天空、光线、气味等)。
1. 风猛烈地吹 →
2. 树在强风中摇曳 → 3. 大雨倾盆 → 4. 路面上满是水坑 → 5. 天空的颜色在变化 → 6. 雷声震动天空 → 7. 闪电照亮了商店 → 8. 寒冷刺骨的雨 → 9. 雪覆盖了道路、汽车和房屋 → 10. 落日的余晖 → 11. 一股浓烟 → 12. 空气中弥漫着烧焦的气味 →
5.2 句子翻译 中译英
将下列句子译成英文,尽量使用 5.1 中的环境词块。
1. 风猛烈地吹着,树在强风中摇曳。
2. 天开始下起倾盆大雨,路面上很快积满了水坑。
3. 天空的颜色变了,先是浅灰,接着深灰,最后变得漆黑浓重。
4. 雷声持续震动着天空,闪电瞬间照亮了商店。
5. 我们冒着寒冷刺骨的雨,拼命跑过停车场。
6. 雪覆盖了道路、汽车、房屋,甚至覆盖了前一天刚铲过的车道。
7. 天色渐暗,他不情愿地转身往家走。
8. 汤姆打开公寓门查看时,一股浓烟迎面扑来。
5.3 语篇填空(环境描写)
阅读环境描写片段,从词库选词填空。
词库:heavily/ strong /cats and dogs / puddles/ shake / illuminated
The wind was blowing ______, and the trees were swaying in the ______ wind. It began to rain ______. Soon, the road was filled with ______ from the rain. Thunder continued to ______ the sky and lightning ______ the store for seconds.
5.4 一句多译 / 升级仿写
A. 把平淡的"The weather was bad."升级为具体的环境描写;B. 仿写一条"宁静的夜晚"。
1. 原句:The weather was bad.
改写 / 仿写:____________________________
2. 仿写:描写一个“宁静的夜晚”。
改写 / 仿写:____________________________
5.5 微写作(场景描写)
情境:描写一场突如其来的暴风雨来临时的场景,用 3–4 句话,必须包含风、雨、天空等要素,可用比喻或拟人(the wind howled, lightning split the sky)。
我的描写:
__________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________
5.6 段落中译英(综合)
将下面一小段中文译成英文,综合运用本讲词块与分词/独立主格,注意以景衬情、感官叠加。
段落: 暴风雨来得突然。风在窗外呼啸,豆大的雨点砸在玻璃上。天色暗得像深夜,远处的闪电一次次划破天际,雷声轰隆作响。
5.7 微写作范文与点评
以下两篇范文供讲评参考,注意其"先写景后写人、以景衬情"的写法。
范文一:Dark clouds rolled in and the wind began to howl. Within minutes the rain came down in sheets, turning the street into a stream of puddles. Lightning split the sky, and thunder followed close behind.
点评:用 howled / came down in sheets / split 把暴风雨写活,并以时间顺序推进,画面感强。
范文二:It was a quiet night. A pale moon hung in the sky, and a soft breeze rustled the leaves. The whole village lay in a peaceful stillness.
点评:以 pale moon / soft breeze / peaceful stillness 营造宁静,视觉+触觉感官叠加。
六、参考答案
5.1 环境词块
1. the wind was blowing heavily
2. the trees were swaying in the strong wind
3. it began to rain cats and dogs
4. the road was filled with puddles
5. the color of the sky was changing
6. thunder shook the sky
7. lightning illuminated the store
8. the cold and biting rain
9. snow covered the roads, the cars and the houses
10. the glimmer of the setting sun
11. a thick cloud of smoke
12. a thick burning smell filled the air
5.2 句子翻译
1. The wind was blowing heavily, and the trees were swaying in the strong wind.
2. It began to rain cats and dogs, and soon the road was filled with puddles from the rain.
3. The color of the sky was changing, first light gray, then dark gray, and finally dark and dense.
4. Thunder continued to shake the sky and lightning illuminated the store for seconds.
5. We ran across the parking lot, through the cold and biting rain, as fast as our legs could carry us.
6. Snow covered the roads, the cars, the houses, and even the driveway he had just shoveled the day before.
7. It was starting to get dark and he reluctantly turned to walk home.
8. When Tom opened the door of their flat to investigate, a thick cloud of smoke greeted him.
5.3 语篇填空
heavily strong cats and dogs puddles shake illuminated
5.4 升级 / 仿写(示例)
The wind howled and the rain beat against the windows; the sky had turned a gloomy gray.
The night was perfectly still. A pale moon hung in the sky, and a soft breeze rattled the leaves.
5.5 微写作(示例)
Dark clouds rolled in and the wind began to howl. Within minutes the rain came down in sheets, turning the street into a stream of puddles. Lightning split the sky, and thunder followed close behind.
5.6 段落中译英(参考译文)
The storm came all of a sudden. The wind howled outside the window, and heavy raindrops pounded the glass. It was as dark as midnight, and distant lightning kept splitting the sky while thunder rumbled on.
七、常见中式英文纠正(环境类)
下列左为常见中式表达,右为地道改写;续写时直接用右栏写法。
中式表达
地道改写
The weather was very good.
The sun was shining and a gentle breeze stirred the leaves.
Everywhere was snow.
Snow covered the roads, the cars and the houses.
The sky is very black.
The sky had turned a gloomy, ink-black.
The wind blew strongly.
The wind howled / whipped through the trees.
It rained big.
It began to rain cats and dogs. / The rain poured down.
The night was very quiet.
A peaceful stillness settled over the village.
学科网(北京)股份有限公司
$