【周周有招】新教材同步尖子班讲义第13讲 Unit 1 Cultural Heritage（读后续写-TPCC四要素与动作链）-2026-2027学年高中英语人教版必修第二册（教师版+学生版）

Unit 1 Cultural Heritage 精品讲义 · 2026年秋高一上-新教材人教版必修二 第13讲 读后续写：TPCC四要素与动作链 续写课（学生版） 续写课 ● 用TPCC（主题/情节/人物/变化）搭框架，练动作链、心理描写与伏笔回收，当堂完成两段落成篇 一、课时安排与学习目标 【课时安排】本讲为读后续写专项课，建议120分钟（2课时连排）。第1课时（60′）：撞墙导入 5′ → TPCC四要素精讲 25′ → ARE动作链与心理描写 30′。第2课时（60′）：续写示范 15′ → 当堂成篇 25′ → 互评与修改 15′ → 收尾固化 5′。学校若排45′单课时，把“续写示范”并入第1课时末尾，第2课时只留成篇与互评。 【学习目标】学完本讲，你能： 1．用TPCC（主题、情节、人物、变化）搭出续写框架，动笔之前就知道往哪儿写； 2．写出一处动作链（ARE）和一处心理描写，人物不跳、时态不乱； 3．把原文的物件伏笔、话语伏笔在结尾全部回收，主题自然落地不喊口号； 4．当堂完成完整两段落，续写正文控制在130—150词。 【重难点】重点：TPCC框架的搭建与伏笔回收。难点：① 人物性格一致性（不“跳”）；② 情感词向“动作＋反应”的转化；③ 结尾主题升华与伏笔收束合一。 【课前准备】教师：本班学生续写习作3—5份（挑人物“跳”的、伏笔没收的各一）、计时器。学生：红笔一支、草稿纸一张（写TPCC四问用）。 【板书设计】 黑板左侧画TPCC四格，右侧画ARE三格，中间留“伏笔回收区”，学生作答时把圈出的伏笔逐条贴进去。 TPCC四格（黑板左） ARE三格（黑板右） 伏笔回收区（黑板中） T 主题：结尾要回扣的道理 A 动作：他做了什么 圈：原文反复出现的东西 P 情节：下一步最合理的事 R 反应：别人/环境怎么回应 应：结尾各给一个交代 C 人物：身份、性格、语气 E 情感：情绪怎么流露 收：落到主题上收束 C 变化：由什么变到什么 链尾挂结果，不挂形容词 写了的必须收，不写闲笔 二、撞墙导入：续写最怕“人物跳了” 下面这段续写，语法挑不出毛病，读起来就是不对劲。先别看答案，自己判断三秒钟。 【原文（片段）】 Tom is a shy boy who never speaks in class. One day his teacher asked him to join the art competition. 【续写】 Tom walked to the stage, laughed loudly, told the whole school he was the best painter, and invited everyone to his party. His teacher was shocked. 【问题诊断与错因拆解】问题出在“人物跳了”：前文Tom是shy（害羞、课堂上从不发言）的男孩，续写却让他大笑、自夸、开派对，性格整个反过来。根因不是词汇量，是续写者只顾“接情节”，没回头看Character（人物设定）这一格。 【一分钟判断】 下面两段都接同一句原文，哪一段“没跳”？A：Tom stepped onto the stage, his ears burning, and handed in his painting without a word. B：Tom jumped onto the stage and shouted that nobody could beat him. 『想一想』哪一段延续了 shy 的性格？为什么另一段“跳”了？请在横线上写出你的判断：______。 【错因归类】 人物“跳”通常有三类，改卷时见到最多的是第一类： 跳的类型 典型症状 改法 ① 性格反转 shy变张扬、胆小变莽撞、自私变无私 动笔前写清人物设定关键词 ② 能力突变 三行之内从不会到大师，前面没铺垫 能力增长要给出练习/失败过程 ③ 语气错位 孩子讲成年人的道理，学徒训师父 语言难度贴身份，短句＋口语词 教师点一句：很多续写丢分不是词不好，是“人不连贯”。读后续写考的不是“接得下去”，是“接得对”——接的是原文的人物、语气、伏笔和主题。四要素里人物一致性最易丢分，本讲就从这里往下抓。 三、核心精讲：TPCC四要素与ARE动作链 （一）TPCC四要素搭框架 续写不是“想一段往下编”，是拿着原文的四样东西往下推。四样齐了再动笔，跑偏的概率立刻降一半。 【TPCC落地四问】 四个问题各用一句话回答，写在草稿纸左上角，这就是你的续写地图。 要素 问什么 草稿上写的一句话 常见翻车 T 主题 原文想让人明白什么道理 传承/成长/善意/坚持 结尾喊口号，与情节脱节 P 情节 段首句之后最合理的下一步 谁＋做了什么＋结果 另起炉灶，抛开段首句 C 人物 他是谁，说话做事什么风格 身份＋两个性格词 性格中途反转 C 变化 开头到结尾的认识怎么变 由迷茫到领悟、由拒绝到接手 只有情节推进，没有认识变化 ● 主题问：原文反复出现的那个词（heritage、memory、pass on）是什么？结尾要回扣它。 ● 情节问：段首句给的起点是什么？顺着它走一步，不另起炉灶。 ● 人物问：他几岁、什么身份、说话是长句是短句？前后保持一致。 ● 变化问：开头他是“不愿/不懂/不敢”，结尾要变成什么？变化落在最后一句。 动笔前先在草稿上写一行：主题＝？ 情节＝？ 人物＝？ 变化＝？ 四格填满再写正文，比写完再返工省时间。 【速练·先答四问再动笔】 读下面原文，只答四问，不写续写。 原文：The old stage in our village had been silent for years. Grandpa Wang, who once played the drums there, kept the key. “Nobody wants this old thing any more,” a neighbour said. I looked at the dusty key in his hand and said nothing. 『想一想』按TPCC答四问，各写一句：主题＝？ 情节＝？ 人物＝？ 变化＝？ 四问各一句即可，不必写成段落。 【我的四问·作答区】 『想一想』读上面的原文，只答四问，不写续写。 【为什么必须先搭框架】多数同学拿到段首句的第三秒就动笔，写到一半才发现人物写反、伏笔没接，时间已经过了一半。改法很土也很好用：给三分钟，草稿纸左上角填四格，填不满不许写正文。四格填完的同学，两段之间的衔接基本不会断，因为“变化”那一格已经把结尾写出来了——先有结尾，再写过程，比边写边想稳得多。 【考场三分钟框架法】① 一分钟圈伏笔（物件/话语/人物，标①②③）；② 一分钟填TPCC四格；③ 一分钟在草稿上写Para 1的三步动作、Para 2的结尾句。三分钟用完，正文就是“填空＋扩写”，而不是现场构思。 【速练2·只填四格】 读下面原文，把TPCC四格填出来（不写续写）。 原文：Aunt Mei embroidered for thirty years, but her eyes were failing. She put down the needle and said, “My hands remember, but my eyes don't.” I picked up the half-finished cloth and did not know where to start. 『想一想』同样只填四格：T主题＝？ P情节＝？ C人物＝？ C变化＝？ 提醒：情节格不要写“我成为大师”——能力突变就跳了。 【我的四格·作答区】 『想一想』读上面的原文，把TPCC四格填出来（不写续写）。 （二）ARE动作链：让人物“动起来” ● A—Action 动作：角色做了什么——wiped the dust, picked up the tool, turned the screw。 ● R—Response 反应：别人/环境怎么回应——a gentle smile spread across his face。 ● E—Emotion 情感：情绪怎么流露——excitement, relief, pride（只在链尾留一个落点）。 动作链示范：He wiped the dust off the glass, picked up the old brush, and carefully painted a fresh coat of red. 三个连续动作＋一个结果，画面就立起来了。 判定口诀：一个动作是动作，两个动作是过程，三个动作才成链；链尾必须挂结果或反应，不挂形容词。 【动作链扩充示范】 ● 平淡句：He was happy.（这是贴标签，不是动作。） ● 动作链：He jumped to his feet, clapped his hands, and ran to tell everyone the news.（三个动作＋情感） ● 加反应：His mother smiled and gave him a warm hug.（Response） 把“情感词”换成“动作＋反应”，画面就来了。写心理别写 I was nervous，写 My hands were shaking and my heart beat faster——同一个意思，后者能拿到细节分。 【情感词→动作链转换表】 平时背这张表，考场上直接替换。 情感标签 可换成的外显动作 可加的反应（R） nervous 紧张 fumbled with…, pressed…flat, held my breath my hands shook / my voice trembled excited 兴奋 jumped to one's feet, clapped, ran to tell… a smile spread across his face proud 自豪 held up…, straightened one's back, ran a hand over… his eyes shone with pride guilty 内疚 looked away, bit one's lip, lowered one's head silence fell over the room grateful 感激 pressed…to one's chest, took his hand her eyes grew wet relieved 松口气 let out a long breath, sat back, closed one's eyes the room seemed to warm up 【高频动作词库·按身体部位记】 部位 常用动词（过去式） 搭配示例 手 fumbled, pressed, slipped, reached, gripped fumbled in his pocket for the key 眼 lifted, narrowed, fixed on, dropped, lit up his eyes lit up at the sight 腿脚 froze, stepped back, rushed, bent down she froze for a second 声音 whispered, murmured, voice trembled, broke into his voice trembled with excitement 面部 smiled, frowned, cheeks burned, bit one's lip her cheeks burned with shame 【错误路径演示】 有学生写 She was very happy and very excited and very proud——三个形容词堆在一起，没有一个具体动作，阅卷者看不到画面。改法：只保留一个情感落点，其余换成动作（She pressed the certificate to her chest and ran to show her grandfather）。 【动作链的三个层次·对照着练】 同一件事，写出三个层次，看差别在哪： 层次 写法 效果 单动作 He opened the box. 只交代发生，没画面 双动作 He opened the box and took out a key. 有过程，仍偏叙述 三动作＋反应 He opened the box, took out a small key, and held it up to the light, his hands shaking. 画面＋情绪一起出来 判定标准再强调一次：三个动作才算“链”，链尾挂结果或反应，不挂形容词。只有两个动作时，至少要有一个伴随状态（fingers trembling / his hands shaking）补上画面。 【对话怎么写·直接引语两条规矩】 ● 数量：全篇直接引语不超过两句，每句不超过8词。引语是调味，不是主食，写多了情节就停了。 ● 说法：说话动词别通篇 said。whispered（低声）、murmured（喃喃）、added（补充）、replied（回应）、sighed（叹道）、cried（喊道）按情绪替换，一次换一个就够。 ● 位置：引语后面挂动作标签，画面更实——“Now you know,” he said softly, placing the clock in my hands. 【动作词误用四例】 下面四例是改卷时最扎眼的重复与冗余，见到就改： 常见写法 问题 改法 laugh loudly / laugh happily loudly与happily泛用，人物千篇一律 gave a short laugh / broke into a laugh smile happily smile本身已含愉悦，冗余 smiled / a slow smile spread across his face said angrily 副词堆情绪，不如换动词 snapped / shouted looked at + looked at 同一段重复look gazed at / fixed one's eyes on / glanced at 【微练·标签换动作】 把下面四句改成“动作＋反应”，形容词不超过一个，每句至少两个连续动作。 1．She was afraid when she stood in front of the old house. 2．He was excited when the clock began to ring again. 3．I was grateful when the old craftsman praised my work. 4．They were tired after a whole morning of cleaning the yard. 【我的改写·作答区】 『想一想』把四句改成“动作＋反应”，形容词不超过一个，每句至少两个连续动作。 『想一想』四句共用同一套动作改法：删标签 → 拆动作（两个以上）→ 挂反应（breath / smile / cheeks / sweat）。想一想：每句你拆了几个动作？链尾挂的是结果还是形容词？ （三）心理描写与伏笔回收 心理描写的作用是把“变化”写出来。全篇有一到两处就够，多了显得矫情。 【心理描写六式·选两句背熟】 句式 适用位置 中文提示 A wave of guilt washed over me. Para 1 中段 一阵内疚涌上心头 It dawned on me that… Para 2 结尾 我突然明白…… With trembling hands, I… Para 1 开头 双手颤抖着…… My heart raced as I… 高潮处 我的心怦怦直跳 Something stirred inside me. 转折处 心里有什么被触动 I froze for a second before… 意外发生时 我愣了一秒才…… ● 伏笔回收：原文埋下的“线”——某个人物、某句话、某个物件——在续写结尾必须回应，不能漏。伏笔不收，主题就悬空。 【伏笔的常见类型】 ● 物件伏笔：原文的钟、剪刀、旧照片、钥匙→续写里要再次出现并赋予意义。 ● 话语伏笔：原文某人说的话（如 “Each clock has a story”）→结尾要回应或点破。 ● 人物伏笔：原文一笔带过的角色（邻村的铁匠、门口的老太太）→续写可让其出现并发挥作用。 读原文时用笔圈出所有“被反复提到的东西”，它们十有八九是伏笔。 【伏笔回收三步：圈—应—收】 1．圈：读原文时把物件、话语、人物圈出来，标序号①②③； 2．应：每段至少让一条伏笔“有回应”，第一段落一个，第二段落一个； 3．收：结尾把剩下的伏笔一次性收束到主题上，不新增、不悬空。 自检三问：原文圈出的物件还在吗？那句话点破了吗？结尾读起来像原文作者写的吗？三问都过，伏笔就没漏。 【伏笔识别三秒法】 读原文时不用通篇找，盯着三类东西看，三秒就能圈出来： 看什么 典型长相 例子 反复出现的 开头出现、结尾又提一次的词或物 the broken clock 反复出现 被特意形容的 带 old/broken/silent/last 的名词 the last shadow-play troupe 被人物在意的 stared at/kept/held/pointed at 后面的宾语 kept the key / pointed at the bell 【回收示例·一句话收三条】结尾不必逐条点名，一条主题句可以把三条伏笔一起收掉：That ticking clock will stay with me forever——钟（物件）、走动的滴答（话语伏笔“每口钟有故事”）、我记住它（人物与主题）三样同时落地。结尾写一句，胜过中间点三次。 【反例·伏笔没收】学生习作结尾：We were very happy and went home together.（前面圈出的钟、祖父的父亲、heritage全部没回应，情节收了，主题悬空。）改法：把第一段写过的物件再提一次，并用 It dawned on me that… 点破主题。 （四）时态与人称一致性 ● 续写通常用一般过去时叙事，穿插过去进行（was doing）交代背景，回忆更早的事才用过去完成（had done）。 ● 人称：通篇用第三人称 he/she/it 或第一人称 I，中途绝不更换；原文用 I，续写就不能冒出 she said 当主人公。 ● 写完一整段读一遍：所有动词时态、所有人称是否前后统一。 【错例—改例对照】 改卷时最高频的三处硬伤： 错句 病因 改后 He smiles and take the clock. 时态与人称不统一 He smiled and took the clock. I was walking in when she is crying. 进行时与一般现在混用 I was walking in when she was crying. Tom handed it to me. She thanked him. 人称中途更换 Tom handed it to me. He thanked me. 【时态怎么选·一条主线三种补充】 时态 用在哪 示例 一般过去时 叙事主线（默认时态） He handed me the clock. 过去进行时 交代背景、被打断的动作 I was studying the parts when he came in. 过去完成时 比叙事更早发生的事 The clock had belonged to his father. 一般现在时 结尾感悟句、普遍道理 Heritage is the care we pour into it. 注意最后一行：结尾点题句用一般现在时不算错，反而是加分写法——前面叙事用过去时，最后一句讲普遍道理用现在时，时态层次清楚。真正的错误是同一条叙事线里过去时与现在时来回横跳。 时态人称错乱是“成篇一致性”的硬伤，比用词不高级更伤分。写完花30秒扫一遍动词词尾，值得。 （五）词数与段落节奏：写到哪儿停 本讲统一按“续写正文130—150词”训练：段首句已给出，不计入你的写作量；少于120词内容单薄，超过170词容易失控跑偏。两段建议这样分： 段落 建议词数 写什么 收尾动作 Para 1 70—80词 承接段首句，写过程：尝试—受阻—推进 留一个钩子引出第二段 Para 2 60—70词 结果＋反应＋认识变化 点题，回收剩余伏笔 【扩容三招】① 把一个动作拆成三个连续动作；② 给动作加一句环境或他人反应；③ 加一句不超过8词的直接引语。 【压缩三招】① 删掉重复的情感形容词，只留一个落点；② 两个简单句合并成and连接的并列句；③ 砍掉与伏笔无关的新人物、新物件。 【实操演练·把90词扩到130词】 下面这段只有90词，句子都对，就是太瘦。按扩容三招改一改。 原稿（约87词）：I took the key from my grandpa and opened the door of the old stage. The stage was very dusty and everything was old. I cleaned the floor carefully and found an old drum in the corner. I thought it was very interesting. Then my grandpa came in and he smiled at me. I was very happy. My grandpa told me the stage was once full of people. I looked around and could not believe it. We went home together and I would never forget that day. 【我的升格·作答区】 『想一想』按扩容三招，把90词原稿扩到130词左右。 『想一想』扩的是三样东西——动作拆链（took—pushed—stepped / swept—ran—tapped）、环境反应（a low sound filled the hall）、一句引语；情感只留一个落点。想一想：原稿里的 happy 你删掉了吗？换成了什么？ 四、续写示范：把伏笔一条条收回来 下面是一篇完整的读后续写示范。先自己按“圈伏笔—答四问—写续写”走一遍，再对照老师课上给出的示范续写核对。 【原文】 Grandfather's workshop was a small room full of old clocks and tools. Every Saturday, he taught me how to repair them. “Each clock has a story,” he would say. One day, he handed me a broken clock and told me it had belonged to his father. “If you can fix this one, you will understand what heritage means.” I stared at the parts and felt at a loss. 【段首句】 Para 1: I spent the whole week studying the broken clock. / Para 2: When I finally handed the clock back to Grandfather, his eyes lit up. 【第一步·圈伏笔】 『想一想』原文反复出现的物件、话语、人物有哪些？用笔圈出来标①②③，列成伏笔表：序号 → 原文伏笔 → 类型（物件/话语/人物/主题）→ 结尾怎么回应。 【我的伏笔表·作答区】 『想一想』列出你圈出的伏笔及其回应落点。 【第二步·答四问】 『想一想』按TPCC答四问，各写一句：T主题＝？ P情节＝？ C人物＝？ C变化＝？ 【我的四问·作答区】 『想一想』按TPCC答四问（各一句）。 【我的续写·作答区】 『想一想』按圈出的伏笔和四问，写出两段续写（合计130—150词）。 【逐句拆解·想一想】 『想一想』对照自己的续写逐项自检：动作链在哪个动作句（三个连续动作）？心理描写在一处还是两处？三条伏笔各在哪一句回应？主题在哪句落地？人称、时态是否统一？ 【对照·低阶写法与升格写法】 低阶：I was very happy that I fixed the clock. My grandfather was very happy too. I understood heritage. 升格：He wound it gently, and the old clock began to tick, steady as a heartbeat. “Now you know,” he said softly. 低阶只报情感，三句话里三个 happy/understood，全是标签；升格用动作（wound、began to tick）、话语（Now you know）和比喻（steady as a heartbeat）呈现，画面与主题一起立起来。改法记住一条：把“我很＋情感词”删掉，换成“我做了什么＋对方什么反应”。 五、当堂成篇任务（25分钟） 【原文】 Our school decided to hold a festival to celebrate the traditional culture of our hometown. My classmate Li Wei and I were asked to prepare a performance of paper-cutting. At first, I thought it was boring and wanted to quit. “But this art has been passed down for hundreds of years,” Li Wei said. “If we don't pass it on, who will?” I looked at the scissors and paper, uncertain. 【段首句】 Para 1: Li Wei showed me how to cut a simple pattern. / Para 2: On the day of the festival, I watched my paper-cutting proudly. 【写作提示】 ● 先标伏笔：paper-cutting 传承几百年、“If we don't pass it on, who will”、我从 boring/uncertain 到 proud 的变化。 ● Para 1 写动作链（Li Wei示范＋我跟着做）与心理（一开始手抖，后来专注）。 ● Para 2 写表演当天的动作与情感，结尾回扣“传承”，人称用 we/he 保持一致。 【时间分配】审题圈伏笔 3′ → 草稿写TPCC四问 2′ → 成文 15′ → 自查（伏笔/时态/词数）5′。到点停笔，宁可少两句，不要写不完。 【我的续写·作答区】 『想一想』按写作提示和TPCC四问，写出两段续写（130—150词）。 【互评量表】 同桌交换，四项打钩后各给一句具体建议，不写“写得好/不行”这类空话。 维度 看什么 打钩 一句具体建议（示例） 情节 两段是否承接段首句、与前文衔接 □ Para 1 结尾可留一个钩子引出展览当天 人物 Li Wei与我是否不“跳”，时态人称是否一致 □ 第三句突然换成 we，通篇统一为 I 更好 细节 动作链＋心理描写是否各有一处 □ trembling 好，可再加一句对方的反应 主题 结尾是否回扣传承，伏笔是否回收 □ pass it on 已回扣，可点出 hundreds of years 【两段衔接技巧】 ● 段首句已经给定，续写顺着它往下走一步，不另起炉灶。 ● 第一段结尾留一个“钩子”引出第二段（如一句疑问、一个未完成动作、一句旁人的话）。 ● 两段之间靠情节推进衔接，不靠 however/suddenly 这类硬转折词堆砌。 【常见丢分点诊断】 症状 病因 处方 人物性格反转（shy变自夸） 没写人物设定 动笔前在草稿上写两个性格词 时态人称混乱 边写边换视角 写完一段，圈出所有动词与人称检查 伏笔没收 圈了伏笔却忘了回应 结尾前对照伏笔表逐条打钩 堆砌华丽词藻、情节空转 用形容词代替动作 换成动作链＋一处心理描写 六、分层实战（A/B/C/D四档，按班情选做） A档·基础过关（伏笔识别与人物设定） 题1　阅读下列原文片段，完成任务。 原文：Mr Chen is a quiet man who has repaired old furniture for thirty years. His small shop is filled with broken chairs and old tools. One afternoon, a girl came in with a broken wooden box. “My grandmother left it to me,” she said. “There is a lock, but no key.” Mr Chen looked at the box for a long time and said nothing. 任务1：写出两条伏笔（物件/话语）。任务2：写出Mr Chen的人物设定关键词（至少两个）。 【我的作答·作答区】 『想一想』完成题1的任务1、任务2。 『想一想』想一想：伏笔可从“盒子有锁没有钥匙”和“祖母留给我”两处找；人物关键词要贴合 quiet、三十年手艺、看很久才开口。 题2　阅读下列原文片段，完成任务。 原文：Every winter, my mother took out a blue cloth bag and dyed a piece of white cloth in the yard. “The colour comes from a plant,” she said. “My mother taught me, and her mother taught her.” I used to think the smell was strange. This year my mother was ill and the bag stayed on the shelf. 任务1：圈出两处伏笔，并说明结尾应如何回收。任务2：写出“我”开头与结尾的情感变化各一个词。 【我的作答·作答区】 『想一想』完成题2的任务1、任务2。 『想一想』想一想：伏笔可从“蓝布袋子”“母亲教、姥姥教”和“母亲生病、袋子闲置”三处找；情感变化写开头疏远→结尾接手。 题3　阅读下列原文片段，完成任务。 原文：The last shadow-play troupe in our town was packing up. Its leader, an old man with a wooden box of figures, looked at the empty chairs. “We have no one to take the box,” he said. I was taking photos for the school newspaper and heard every word. 任务：写出两处伏笔，并写出“我”在续写中最合理的第一步行动（一句话）。 【我的作答·作答区】 『想一想』完成题3的任务，并写出第一步行动。 『想一想』想一想：第一步行动要让“我”由记录者变为参与者（如放下相机去请教），人物才不跳。 B档·能力提升（动作链改写） 把下列标签式情感句改写为“动作＋反应”的动作链，形容词不超过一个，每组至少两个连续动作。 1．She was very nervous when she first held the scissors. 2．He was proud when he saw the repaired clock. 3．I was sad when I heard the old workshop would close. 4．She was grateful when the old man handed her the tools. 5．He was angry when he found the broken window. 6．They were excited when the bell rang again. 【我的改写·作答区】 『想一想』把六句改写为“动作＋反应”的动作链。 『想一想』六题共用同一套改法——删掉情感标签，换成两个以上连续动作，再挂一个外部反应（smile / ring / wet eyes / clapped）。想一想：每句你拆了几个动作？链尾挂的是什么？ C档·高考冲刺（完整续写成篇） 阅读下面原文，根据所给两段首句续写，两段合计130—150词。 原文：Last summer, I visited my grandmother in the old town. She kept a small box of old photographs and often told me stories about them. One afternoon, she handed me a photo of a wooden bridge and said, “This bridge was washed away forty years ago. Only a few stones are left now.” I looked at the photo and wondered why she still kept it. 段首句：Para 1: That evening, Grandmother took me to the river bank. / Para 2: Before I left, I asked Grandmother why she kept the photo for so long. 【我的续写·作答区】 『想一想』按所给两段首句续写，合计130—150词。 『想一想』自检：动作链（walked…stopped…placed 等）、心理句（A wave of sadness… / It dawned on me that…）、伏笔回收（照片/石头/祖母的话）、人称与过去时。 D档·易错清零（改错） 下面是一位同学的续写片段，有人称、时态、衔接、伏笔四处问题，请找出并改正。 学生习作：I opened its back and compares each gear with the diagrams. At first I often fail, and a wave of frustration washes over me. She told me the clock was old, and I put it on the table and never looked at it again. However, I finished it quickly and understood everything. 【我的改正·作答区】 『想一想』找出并改正习作中的人称、时态、衔接、伏笔四处问题。 『想一想』①时态跳到现在时（compares / fail / washes）；②凭空冒出 she（原文明明只有爷爷和“我”）——人物跳；③“不再看它”与段首句“修好它”矛盾——情节跳；④However 硬转折且缺过程。你的四处改到了吗？ 七、带走型收尾：TPCC速记卡 ● TPCC：主题、情节、人物、变化，四样齐了再动笔。 ● ARE动作链：动作→反应→情感，让人物动起来。 ● 三工具：心理句（It dawned on me... / A wave of...washed over me）、伏笔回收、主题回扣。 ● 红线：人物不跳、时态不乱、人称统一。 顺口记：先搭TPCC，再写动作链；伏笔要回收，结尾回主题。 铁律：续写里出现的每一个物件、每一句话，都要在结尾有着落——无用的细节别写，写了的必须收。 自查30秒清单：① 段首句接着写了吗？② 人物性格前后一样吗？③ 动词都是过去式吗？④ 圈出的伏笔都回应了吗？⑤ 词数在130—150之间吗？五问全过再交卷。 八、课后巩固练习 （一）巩固练习一·完整续写（130—150词） 原文：Our town's oldest bookstore was about to close. The owner, an elderly man named Mr Hu, stood at the door and watched people walk past without stopping. My friend and I decided to do something. “The shop has been here for sixty years,” my friend said. “We can't just let it disappear.” I nodded, but I had no idea what we could do. 段首句：Para 1: The next morning, we put up a poster outside the bookstore. / Para 2: A week later, the bookstore was full of people. 【我的续写·作答区】 『想一想』按所给两段首句续写，合计130—150词。 『想一想』自检：伏笔回收（“六十年的店” / “无人驻足” / “别让它消失”）、动作链、一处心理句、人称与时态。 （二）巩固练习二·伏笔识别与动作链补写 阅读原文片段，完成两项任务。 原文：Aunt Lin makes clay pots by hand in a small village. Every pot takes her three days, and she never sells them cheaply. “The clay remembers the hands,” she often says. One day, a young man offered to buy all her pots at a low price. She looked at him and shook her head slowly. 任务1：列出两处伏笔并说明结尾应如何回收。任务2：补写一段50词左右的动作链，描写Aunt Lin继续做陶的过程。 【我的作答·作答区】 『想一想』完成任务1的伏笔识别，并补写任务2的动作链（约50词）。 『想一想』伏笔可抓“The clay remembers the hands”和“拒绝低价收购”；动作链要让动作走起来（坐下—取泥—按压—成形），并加一处无声拒绝的反应。 （三）巩固练习三·升格改写 下面三句都是“标签句”，请各改写为一句“动作＋反应/心理”的句子，形容词不超过一个。 1．I was very happy when the craftsman agreed to teach me. 2．She was nervous before the performance. 3．He was moved when he saw the repaired bridge. 【我的改写·作答区】 『想一想』把三句改写为“动作＋反应/心理”的句子。 『想一想』共同做法：删掉 was＋情感形容词，换成一处身体反应（heart raced / hands shaking / eyes wet）＋一个具体动作，必要时加一句不超过8词的引语。 （四）巩固练习四·本讲词块回扣 下面8个词块直接可用于文化遗产主题的续写，先默写，再各造一个一般过去时的句子。 词块 用法提示 造句示例（一般过去时） pass...on (to) 传承，及物，可带人/物 She passed the skill on to her grandson. keep...alive 使……延续 The villagers kept the old custom alive. be at a loss 茫然，不知所措 I was at a loss when I saw the broken clock. take pride in 以……为荣 He took pride in every pot he made. run one's hand over 抚摸，手部动作 She ran her hand over the smooth cover. light up （眼睛）亮起来 His eyes lit up at the sight of the photo. hand...down 把……传下去 The box was handed down for three generations. be worth doing 值得做，主动表被动 The old street is worth protecting. 教师提示：本讲词块与Unit 1单元词汇同源，下一讲（第14讲·读写实战）要把它们用到倡议书与续写里，默写不过关的先补这一格。 学科网（北京）股份有限公司 $ Unit 1 Cultural Heritage 精品讲义 · 2026年秋高一上-新教材人教版必修二 第13讲 读后续写：TPCC四要素与动作链 续写课（教师版） 续写课 ● 用TPCC（主题/情节/人物/变化）搭框架，练动作链、心理描写与伏笔回收，当堂完成两段落成篇 ———————————————————————————————————————————— 一、课时安排与学习目标 【课时安排】本讲为读后续写专项课，建议120分钟（2课时连排）。第1课时（60′）：撞墙导入 5′ → TPCC四要素精讲 25′ → ARE动作链与心理描写 30′。第2课时（60′）：续写示范 15′ → 当堂成篇 25′ → 互评与修改 15′ → 收尾固化 5′。学校若排45′单课时，把“续写示范”并入第1课时末尾，第2课时只留成篇与互评。 【学习目标】学完本讲，你能： 1．用TPCC（主题、情节、人物、变化）搭出续写框架，动笔之前就知道往哪儿写； 2．写出一处动作链（ARE）和一处心理描写，人物不跳、时态不乱； 3．把原文的物件伏笔、话语伏笔在结尾全部回收，主题自然落地不喊口号； 4．当堂完成完整两段落，续写正文控制在130—150词。 【重难点】重点：TPCC框架的搭建与伏笔回收。难点：① 人物性格一致性（不“跳”）；② 情感词向“动作＋反应”的转化；③ 结尾主题升华与伏笔收束合一。 【课前准备】教师：本班学生续写习作3—5份（挑人物“跳”的、伏笔没收的各一）、计时器。学生：红笔一支、草稿纸一张（写TPCC四问用）。 【板书设计】黑板左侧画TPCC四格，右侧画ARE三格，中间留“伏笔回收区”，学生作答时把圈出的伏笔逐条贴进去。 TPCC四格（黑板左） ARE三格（黑板右） 伏笔回收区（黑板中） T 主题：结尾要回扣的道理 A 动作：他做了什么 圈：原文反复出现的东西 P 情节：下一步最合理的事 R 反应：别人/环境怎么回应 应：结尾各给一个交代 C 人物：身份、性格、语气 E 情感：情绪怎么流露 收：落到主题上收束 C 变化：由什么变到什么 链尾挂结果，不挂形容词 写了的必须收，不写闲笔 二、撞墙导入：续写最怕“人物跳了” 下面这段续写，语法挑不出毛病，读起来就是不对劲。先别看答案，自己判断三秒钟。 原文（片段）：Tom is a shy boy who never speaks in class. One day his teacher asked him to join the art competition. 续写：Tom walked to the stage, laughed loudly, told the whole school he was the best painter, and invited everyone to his party. His teacher was shocked. 【问题诊断与错因拆解】问题出在“人物跳了”：前文Tom是shy（害羞、课堂上从不发言）的男孩，续写却让他大笑、自夸、开派对，性格整个反过来。根因不是词汇量，是续写者只顾“接情节”，没回头看Character（人物设定）这一格。 【一分钟判断】下面两段都接同一句原文，哪一段“没跳”？A：Tom stepped onto the stage, his ears burning, and handed in his painting without a word. B：Tom jumped onto the stage and shouted that nobody could beat him.（答案：A。A延续了shy——耳朵发烫、一言不发；B把性格翻了个面。） 【错因归类】人物“跳”通常有三类，改卷时见到最多的是第一类： 跳的类型 典型症状 改法 ① 性格反转 shy变张扬、胆小变莽撞、自私变无私 动笔前写清人物设定关键词 ② 能力突变 三行之内从不会到大师，前面没铺垫 能力增长要给出练习/失败过程 ③ 语气错位 孩子讲成年人的道理，学徒训师父 语言难度贴身份，短句＋口语词 教师点一句：很多续写丢分不是词不好，是“人不连贯”。读后续写考的不是“接得下去”，是“接得对”——接的是原文的人物、语气、伏笔和主题。四要素里人物一致性最易丢分，本讲就从这里往下抓。 三、核心精讲：TPCC四要素与ARE动作链 （一）TPCC四要素搭框架 续写不是“想一段往下编”，是拿着原文的四样东西往下推。四样齐了再动笔，跑偏的概率立刻降一半。 要素 问什么 草稿上写的一句话 常见翻车 T 主题 原文想让人明白什么道理 传承/成长/善意/坚持 结尾喊口号，与情节脱节 P 情节 段首句之后最合理的下一步 谁＋做了什么＋结果 另起炉灶，抛开段首句 C 人物 他是谁，说话做事什么风格 身份＋两个性格词 性格中途反转 C 变化 开头到结尾的认识怎么变 由迷茫到领悟、由拒绝到接手 只有情节推进，没有认识变化 【TPCC落地四问】四个问题各用一句话回答，写在草稿纸左上角，这就是你的续写地图。 ● 主题问：原文反复出现的那个词（heritage、memory、pass on）是什么？结尾要回扣它。 ● 情节问：段首句给的起点是什么？顺着它走一步，不另起炉灶。 ● 人物问：他几岁、什么身份、说话是长句是短句？前后保持一致。 ● 变化问：开头他是“不愿/不懂/不敢”，结尾要变成什么？变化落在最后一句。 动笔前先在草稿上写一行：主题＝？ 情节＝？ 人物＝？ 变化＝？ 四格填满再写正文，比写完再返工省时间。 【速练·先答四问再动笔】读下面原文，只答四问，不写续写。 原文：The old stage in our village had been silent for years. Grandpa Wang, who once played the drums there, kept the key. “Nobody wants this old thing any more,” a neighbour said. I looked at the dusty key in his hand and said nothing. 参考答案：主题＝老戏台承载的村落的记忆值得唤醒；情节＝“我”接过钥匙，与爷爷一起把戏台重新用起来；人物＝爷爷是沉默的老艺人（惜物、话少），“我”从旁观变为参与；变化＝由沉默旁观到主动传承。四问各一句即可，不必写成段落。 【为什么必须先搭框架】多数同学拿到段首句的第三秒就动笔，写到一半才发现人物写反、伏笔没接，时间已经过了一半。改法很土也很好用：给三分钟，草稿纸左上角填四格，填不满不许写正文。四格填完的同学，两段之间的衔接基本不会断，因为“变化”那一格已经把结尾写出来了——先有结尾，再写过程，比边写边想稳得多。 【考场三分钟框架法】① 一分钟圈伏笔（物件/话语/人物，标①②③）；② 一分钟填TPCC四格；③ 一分钟在草稿上写Para 1的三步动作、Para 2的结尾句。三分钟用完，正文就是“填空＋扩写”，而不是现场构思。 【速练2·只填四格】读下面原文，把TPCC四格填出来（不写续写）。 原文：Aunt Mei embroidered for thirty years, but her eyes were failing. She put down the needle and said, “My hands remember, but my eyes don't.” I picked up the half-finished cloth and did not know where to start. 参考答案：T主题：手艺靠手与心传下去，眼力会老，手艺不会；P情节：我拿起半幅绣品，从最基础的一针学起，替她把这块布绣完；C人物：Aunt Mei是要强又认命的老手艺人（句子短、不抱怨），“我”是笨拙但愿意接手的晚辈；C变化：由 did not know where to start（无从下手）到接过针线、愿意继续。补充提醒：情节格不要写“我成为大师”，能力突变就跳了。 （二）ARE动作链：让人物“动起来” ● A—Action 动作：角色做了什么——wiped the dust, picked up the tool, turned the screw。 ● R—Response 反应：别人/环境怎么回应——a gentle smile spread across his face。 ● E—Emotion 情感：情绪怎么流露——excitement, relief, pride（只在链尾留一个落点）。 动作链示范：He wiped the dust off the glass, picked up the old brush, and carefully painted a fresh coat of red. 三个连续动作＋一个结果，画面就立起来了。 判定口诀：一个动作是动作，两个动作是过程，三个动作才成链；链尾必须挂结果或反应，不挂形容词。 【动作链扩充示范】 ● 平淡句：He was happy.（这是贴标签，不是动作。） ● 动作链：He jumped to his feet, clapped his hands, and ran to tell everyone the news.（三个动作＋情感） ● 加反应：His mother smiled and gave him a warm hug.（Response） 把“情感词”换成“动作＋反应”，画面就来了。写心理别写 I was nervous，写 My hands were shaking and my heart beat faster——同一个意思，后者能拿到细节分。 【情感词→动作链转换表】平时背这张表，考场上直接替换。 情感标签 可换成的外显动作 可加的反应（R） nervous 紧张 fumbled with…, pressed…flat, held my breath my hands shook / my voice trembled excited 兴奋 jumped to one's feet, clapped, ran to tell… a smile spread across his face proud 自豪 held up…, straightened one's back, ran a hand over… his eyes shone with pride guilty 内疚 looked away, bit one's lip, lowered one's head silence fell over the room grateful 感激 pressed…to one's chest, took his hand her eyes grew wet relieved 松口气 let out a long breath, sat back, closed one's eyes the room seemed to warm up 【高频动作词库·按身体部位记】 部位 常用动词（过去式） 搭配示例 手 fumbled, pressed, slipped, reached, gripped fumbled in his pocket for the key 眼 lifted, narrowed, fixed on, dropped, lit up his eyes lit up at the sight 腿脚 froze, stepped back, rushed, bent down she froze for a second 声音 whispered, murmured, voice trembled, broke into his voice trembled with excitement 面部 smiled, frowned, cheeks burned, bit one's lip her cheeks burned with shame 错误路径演示：有学生写 She was very happy and very excited and very proud——三个形容词堆在一起，没有一个具体动作，阅卷者看不到画面。改法：只保留一个情感落点，其余换成动作（She pressed the certificate to her chest and ran to show her grandfather）。 【动作链的三个层次·对照着练】同一件事，写出三个层次，看差别在哪： 层次 写法 效果 单动作 He opened the box. 只交代发生，没画面 双动作 He opened the box and took out a key. 有过程，仍偏叙述 三动作＋反应 He opened the box, took out a small key, and held it up to the light, his hands shaking. 画面＋情绪一起出来 判定标准再强调一次：三个动作才算“链”，链尾挂结果或反应，不挂形容词。只有两个动作时，至少要有一个伴随状态（ fingers trembling/his hands shaking）补上画面。 【对话怎么写·直接引语两条规矩】 ● 数量：全篇直接引语不超过两句，每句不超过8词。引语是调味，不是主食，写多了情节就停了。 ● 说法：说话动词别通篇 said。whispered（低声）、murmured（喃喃）、added（补充）、replied（回应）、sighed（叹道）、cried（喊道）按情绪替换，一次换一个就够。 ● 位置：引语后面挂动作标签，画面更实——“Now you know,” he said softly, placing the clock in my hands. 【动作词误用四例】下面四例是改卷时最扎眼的重复与冗余，见到就改： 常见写法 问题 改法 laugh loudly / laugh happily loudly与happily泛用，人物千篇一律 gave a short laugh / broke into a laugh smile happily smile本身已含愉悦，冗余 smiled / a slow smile spread across his face said angrily 副词堆情绪，不如换动词 snapped / shouted looked at + looked at 同一段重复look gazed at / fixed one's eyes on / glanced at 【微练·标签换动作】把下面四句改成“动作＋反应”，形容词不超过一个，每句至少两个连续动作。 1．She was afraid when she stood in front of the old house. 2．He was excited when the clock began to ring again. 3．I was grateful when the old craftsman praised my work. 4．They were tired after a whole morning of cleaning the yard. 参考答案： 1．She stopped at the gate, her fingers tightening around the strap of her bag, and held her breath before pushing the door open. 2．He froze for a second, then jumped to his feet and clapped his hands as the bell rang, a wide smile spreading across his face. 3．I lowered my head, took the scissors he handed me, and whispered my thanks, my cheeks burning. 4．They sat down against the wall, let out long breaths, and wiped the sweat from their faces, too tired to speak. 解析：四句共用同一套动作：删标签→拆动作（两个以上）→挂反应（breath/smile/cheeks/sweat）。第4句末的 too tired to speak 只留一个情感落点，其余全交给动作，读起来就不空。 （三）心理描写与伏笔回收 心理描写的作用是把“变化”写出来。全篇有一到两处就够，多了显得矫情。 【心理描写六式·选两句背熟】 句式 适用位置 中文提示 A wave of guilt washed over me. Para 1 中段 一阵内疚涌上心头 It dawned on me that… Para 2 结尾 我突然明白…… With trembling hands, I… Para 1 开头 双手颤抖着…… My heart raced as I… 高潮处 我的心怦怦直跳 Something stirred inside me. 转折处 心里有什么被触动 I froze for a second before… 意外发生时 我愣了一秒才…… ● 伏笔回收：原文埋下的“线”——某个人物、某句话、某个物件——在续写结尾必须回应，不能漏。伏笔不收，主题就悬空。 【伏笔的常见类型】 ● 物件伏笔：原文的钟、剪刀、旧照片、钥匙→续写里要再次出现并赋予意义。 ● 话语伏笔：原文某人说的话（如 “Each clock has a story”）→结尾要回应或点破。 ● 人物伏笔：原文一笔带过的角色（邻村的铁匠、门口的老太太）→续写可让其出现并发挥作用。 读原文时用笔圈出所有“被反复提到的东西”，它们十有八九是伏笔。 【伏笔回收三步：圈—应—收】 1．圈：读原文时把物件、话语、人物圈出来，标序号①②③； 2．应：每段至少让一条伏笔“有回应”，第一段落一个，第二段落一个； 3．收：结尾把剩下的伏笔一次性收束到主题上，不新增、不悬空。 自检三问：原文圈出的物件还在吗？那句话点破了吗？结尾读起来像原文作者写的吗？三问都过，伏笔就没漏。 【伏笔识别三秒法】读原文时不用通篇找，盯着三类东西看，三秒就能圈出来： 看什么 典型长相 例子 反复出现的 开头出现、结尾又提一次的词或物 the broken clock 反复出现 被特意形容的 带 old/broken/silent/last 的名词 the last shadow-play troupe 被人物在意的 stared at/kept/held/pointed at 后面的宾语 kept the key / pointed at the bell 【回收示例·一句话收三条】结尾不必逐条点名，一条主题句可以把三条伏笔一起收掉：That ticking clock will stay with me forever——钟（物件）、走动的滴答（话语伏笔“每口钟有故事”）、我记住它（人物与主题）三样同时落地。结尾写一句，胜过中间点三次。 【反例·伏笔没收】学生习作结尾：We were very happy and went home together.（前面圈出的钟、祖父的父亲、heritage全部没回应，情节收了，主题悬空。）改法：把第一段写过的物件再提一次，并用 It dawned on me that… 点破主题。 （四）时态与人称一致性 ● 续写通常用一般过去时叙事，穿插过去进行（was doing）交代背景，回忆更早的事才用过去完成（had done）。 ● 人称：通篇用第三人称 he/she/it 或第一人称 I，中途绝不更换；原文用 I，续写就不能冒出 she said 当主人公。 ● 写完一整段读一遍：所有动词时态、所有人称是否前后统一。 【错例—改例对照】改卷时最高频的三处硬伤： 错句 病因 改后 He smiles and take the clock. 时态与人称不统一 He smiled and took the clock. I was walking in when she is crying. 进行时与一般现在混用 I was walking in when she was crying. Tom handed it to me. She thanked him. 人称中途更换 Tom handed it to me. He thanked me. 【时态怎么选·一条主线三种补充】 时态 用在哪 示例 一般过去时 叙事主线（默认时态） He handed me the clock. 过去进行时 交代背景、被打断的动作 I was studying the parts when he came in. 过去完成时 比叙事更早发生的事 The clock had belonged to his father. 一般现在时 结尾感悟句、普遍道理 Heritage is the care we pour into it. 注意最后一行：结尾点题句用一般现在时不算错，反而是加分写法——前面叙事用过去时，最后一句讲普遍道理用现在时，时态层次清楚。真正的错误是同一条叙事线里过去时与现在时来回横跳。 时态人称错乱是“成篇一致性”的硬伤，比用词不高级更伤分。写完花30秒扫一遍动词词尾，值得。 （五）词数与段落节奏：写到哪儿停 本讲统一按“续写正文130—150词”训练：段首句已给出，不计入你的写作量；少于120词内容单薄，超过170词容易失控跑偏。两段建议这样分： 段落 建议词数 写什么 收尾动作 Para 1 70—80词 承接段首句，写过程：尝试—受阻—推进 留一个钩子引出第二段 Para 2 60—70词 结果＋反应＋认识变化 点题，回收剩余伏笔 【扩容三招】① 把一个动作拆成三个连续动作；② 给动作加一句环境或他人反应；③ 加一句不超过8词的直接引语。 【压缩三招】① 删掉重复的情感形容词，只留一个落点；② 两个简单句合并成and连接的并列句；③ 砍掉与伏笔无关的新人物、新物件。 【实操演练·把90词扩到130词】下面这段只有90词，句子都对，就是太瘦。按扩容三招改一改。 原稿（约87词）：I took the key from my grandpa and opened the door of the old stage. The stage was very dusty and everything was old. I cleaned the floor carefully and found an old drum in the corner. I thought it was very interesting. Then my grandpa came in and he smiled at me. I was very happy. My grandpa told me the stage was once full of people. I looked around and could not believe it. We went home together and I would never forget that day. 升格稿（约132词）：I took the key from his hand, pushed the heavy door open, and stepped into the dust. The stage was silent, its boards grey with years of dust and its corners piled with broken chairs. I swept the floor, ran my hand over the old drum, and tapped it once—a low sound filled the hall and died away slowly. My grandpa stood in the doorway and did not move. “It was full of people every winter,” he said at last. Then he picked up a pair of drumsticks and handed them to me, a slow smile spreading across his face. I looked at the empty chairs and thought of the winters he had described. I closed my fingers around them and promised myself that the stage would not fall silent again. 解析：扩的是三样东西——动作拆链（took—pushed—stepped/swept—ran—tapped）、环境反应（a low sound filled the hall）、一句引语（“It was full of people every winter,” he said，6词）；情感只留 promised myself 一个落点。原稿的 happy 被删掉，换成对方的 smile 与“我”的决定。 四、续写示范：把伏笔一条条收回来 【原文】Grandfather's workshop was a small room full of old clocks and tools. Every Saturday, he taught me how to repair them. “Each clock has a story,” he would say. One day, he handed me a broken clock and told me it had belonged to his father. “If you can fix this one, you will understand what heritage means.” I stared at the parts and felt at a loss. 【段首句】Para 1: I spent the whole week studying the broken clock. / Para 2: When I finally handed the clock back to Grandfather, his eyes lit up. 【第一步·圈伏笔】读完先别写，把伏笔列成表。 序号 原文伏笔 类型 续写落点 ① “Each clock has a story” 话语 让这口钟“开口讲故事”（重新走动） ② it had belonged to his father 物件＋人物 修钟时想到祖父的父亲，回应血脉这条线 ③ heritage 与 felt at a loss 主题＋情感 从迷茫到领悟：heritage＝投入的用心 【第二步·答四问】 T 主题：heritage不是物件，是人与物件之间的用心与故事。 P 情节：我研究结构—反复失败—装回齿轮—钟重新走动—爷爷点破。 C 人物：爷爷话少、手稳、用行动教；“我”是笨拙但肯下功夫的学徒。 C 变化：由 felt at a loss（无从下手）到 It dawned on me（明白传承的含义）。 【示范续写】（续写正文合计140词，Para 1 七十词、Para 2 七十词） Para 1: I spent the whole week studying the broken clock. I opened its back, compared each gear with the diagrams in Grandfather's books, and slowly worked out how it once ticked. At first I often failed, and a wave of frustration washed over me. Once I nearly gave up, but every night I reminded myself that this clock had kept time for Grandfather's father. The thought drove me to try again and again, until the last gear clicked into place. Para 2: When I finally handed the clock back to Grandfather, his eyes lit up. He wound it gently, and the old clock began to tick, steady as a heartbeat. “Now you know,” he said softly. It dawned on me that heritage is not just a thing—it is the care we pour into it and the story we keep alive. I thought of his father winding the same clock decades ago, and my eyes grew hot. That ticking clock will stay with me forever. 【逐句拆解】 得分点 落在哪一句 说明 动作链 opened…compared…worked out 三个连续动作，ARE的A层；until the last gear clicked into place 是结果 心理描写 a wave of frustration washed over me 一次失败后的真实情绪，不只写“难” 心理描写2 It dawned on me that heritage is not just a thing… Para 2 的认识变化，主题在此落地 伏笔① began to tick, steady as a heartbeat 钟重新走动＝这口钟的“故事”讲了出来 伏笔② had kept time for Grandfather's father 呼应祖父的父亲那条血脉线 伏笔③ not just a thing—it is the care we pour into it 由迷茫到领悟，完成Change 一致性 通篇 I＋一般过去时 人称、时态无跳转 【对照·低阶写法与升格写法】 低阶：I was very happy that I fixed the clock. My grandfather was very happy too. I understood heritage. 升格：He wound it gently, and the old clock began to tick, steady as a heartbeat. “Now you know,” he said softly. 低阶只报情感，三句话里三个 happy/understood，全是标签；升格用动作（wound、began to tick）、话语（Now you know）和比喻（steady as a heartbeat）呈现，画面与主题一起立起来。改法记住一条：把“我很＋情感词”删掉，换成“我做了什么＋对方什么反应”。 五、当堂成篇任务（25分钟） 【原文】Our school decided to hold a festival to celebrate the traditional culture of our hometown. My classmate Li Wei and I were asked to prepare a performance of paper-cutting. At first, I thought it was boring and wanted to quit. “But this art has been passed down for hundreds of years,” Li Wei said. “If we don't pass it on, who will?” I looked at the scissors and paper, uncertain. 【段首句】Para 1: Li Wei showed me how to cut a simple pattern. / Para 2: On the day of the festival, I watched my paper-cutting proudly. 【写作提示】 ● 先标伏笔：paper-cutting 传承几百年、“If we don't pass it on, who will”、我从 boring/uncertain 到 proud 的变化。 ● Para 1 写动作链（Li Wei示范＋我跟着做）与心理（一开始手抖，后来专注）。 ● Para 2 写表演当天的动作与情感，结尾回扣“传承”，人称用 we/he 保持一致。 【时间分配】审题圈伏笔 3′ → 草稿写TPCC四问 2′ → 成文 15′ → 自查（伏笔/时态/词数）5′。到点停笔，宁可少两句，不要写不完。 【参考续写】（续写正文合计142词：Para 1 七十七词，Para 2 六十五词） Para 1: Li Wei showed me how to cut a simple pattern. He moved the scissors slowly, turning the red paper this way and that, and a small flower appeared. I tried to copy him, my fingers trembling at first. The paper tore twice, and I held my breath. With each careful cut, my fear melted away and the paper seemed to follow my hands. I cut a crooked flower of my own and held it up to the light. “See?” he smiled. “It is not boring at all.” Para 2: On the day of the festival, I watched my paper-cutting proudly. A vivid butterfly with fine wings was placed among the works of our class. Children stopped to look, and a little girl pointed at it and laughed. It dawned on me that Li Wei was right—this art had been kept alive by ordinary hands like ours. I promised myself to pass it on to more people, so that the tradition would never die out. 【互评量表】同桌交换，四项打钩后各给一句具体建议，不写“写得好/不行”这类空话。 维度 看什么 打钩 一句具体建议（示例） 情节 两段是否承接段首句、与前文衔接 □ Para 1 结尾可留一个钩子引出展览当天 人物 Li Wei与我是否不“跳”，时态人称是否一致 □ 第三句突然换成 we，通篇统一为 I 更好 细节 动作链＋心理描写是否各有一处 □ trembling 好，可再加一句对方的反应 主题 结尾是否回扣传承，伏笔是否回收 □ pass it on 已回扣，可点出 hundreds of years 【两段衔接技巧】 ● 段首句已经给定，续写顺着它往下走一步，不另起炉灶。 ● 第一段结尾留一个“钩子”引出第二段（如一句疑问、一个未完成动作、一句旁人的话）。 ● 两段之间靠情节推进衔接，不靠 however/suddenly 这类硬转折词堆砌。 【常见丢分点诊断】 症状 病因 处方 人物性格反转（shy变自夸） 没写人物设定 动笔前在草稿上写两个性格词 时态人称混乱 边写边换视角 写完一段，圈出所有动词与人称检查 伏笔没收 圈了伏笔却忘了回应 结尾前对照伏笔表逐条打钩 堆砌华丽词藻、情节空转 用形容词代替动作 换成动作链＋一处心理描写 六、分层实战（A/B/C/D四档，按班情选做） A档·基础过关（伏笔识别与人物设定） 题1　阅读下列原文片段，完成任务。 原文：Mr Chen is a quiet man who has repaired old furniture for thirty years. His small shop is filled with broken chairs and old tools. One afternoon, a girl came in with a broken wooden box. “My grandmother left it to me,” she said. “There is a lock, but no key.” Mr Chen looked at the box for a long time and said nothing. 任务1：写出两条伏笔（物件/话语）。 任务2：写出Mr Chen的人物设定关键词（至少两个）。 参考答案：任务1：伏笔① the broken wooden box with a lock but no key（物件伏笔，结尾应把盒子打开或赋予意义）；伏笔② “My grandmother left it to me”（话语伏笔，应回扣亲情或传承）。任务2：quiet（话少）、experienced（三十年修复经验，手艺老练）、careful（看很久才开口，做事慎重）。 题2　阅读下列原文片段，完成任务。 原文：Every winter, my mother took out a blue cloth bag and dyed a piece of white cloth in the yard. “The colour comes from a plant,” she said. “My mother taught me, and her mother taught her.” I used to think the smell was strange. This year my mother was ill and the bag stayed on the shelf. 任务1：圈出两处伏笔，并说明结尾应如何回收。 任务2：写出“我”开头与结尾的情感变化各一个词。 参考答案：任务1：伏笔① the blue cloth bag（物件，结尾应由“我”接手染布）；伏笔② “My mother taught me, and her mother taught her”（话语，结尾应点出“三代人的手”），另可补一条：母亲生病、袋子闲置（情节伏笔，需被“我”拿起）。任务2：开头 strange/distant（疏远、嫌气味怪），结尾 proud/determined（接手、愿意学）。 题3　阅读下列原文片段，完成任务。 原文：The last shadow-play troupe in our town was packing up. Its leader, an old man with a wooden box of figures, looked at the empty chairs. “We have no one to take the box,” he said. I was taking photos for the school newspaper and heard every word. 任务：写出两处伏笔，并写出“我”在续写中最合理的第一步行动（一句话）。 参考答案：伏笔① the wooden box of figures（物件，结尾应被交到“我”手上或重新启用）；伏笔② “We have no one to take the box”（话语，续写要化解“无人接手”的危机）；另可补 the empty chairs（场景伏笔，暗示观众流失）。第一步行动：I put down my camera and asked him to teach me how to hold the figures.（放下相机＝由记录者变为参与者，人物不跳。） B档·能力提升（动作链改写） 把下列标签式情感句改写为“动作＋反应”的动作链，形容词不超过一个，每组至少两个连续动作。 1．She was very nervous when she first held the scissors. 2．He was proud when he saw the repaired clock. 3．I was sad when I heard the old workshop would close. 4．She was grateful when the old man handed her the tools. 5．He was angry when he found the broken window. 6．They were excited when the bell rang again. 参考答案： 1．She held the scissors with trembling fingers, pressed the paper flat again and again, and did not dare to make the first cut. 2．He ran his hand over the smooth surface of the clock, and a slow smile spread across his face as the old bell began to ring. 3．I stopped in the doorway, bit my lip, and looked away from the closed door, my eyes growing hot. 4．She took the tools with both hands, pressed them to her chest, and whispered her thanks, her eyes wet. 5．He kicked the chair aside, then froze as he saw the glass on the floor, his face darkening. 6．They jumped to their feet and ran towards the tower, laughing, while the children clapped their hands. 解析：六题共用同一套改法——删掉情感标签，换成两个以上连续动作，再挂一个外部反应（smile/ring/wet eyes/clapped）。第5题的 froze 与 face darkening 是“怒中带惊”的层次，避免写成单纯的 shout。 C档·高考冲刺（完整续写成篇） 阅读下面原文，根据所给两段首句续写，两段合计130—150词。 原文：Last summer, I visited my grandmother in the old town. She kept a small box of old photographs and often told me stories about them. One afternoon, she handed me a photo of a wooden bridge and said, “This bridge was washed away forty years ago. Only a few stones are left now.” I looked at the photo and wondered why she still kept it. 段首句：Para 1: That evening, Grandmother took me to the river bank. / Para 2: Before I left, I asked Grandmother why she kept the photo for so long. 参考续写：（续写正文合计137词） Para 1: That evening, Grandmother took me to the river bank. She walked slowly along the water, stopped beside a few grey stones, and placed her hand on the largest one. The water was low, and the stones stood out like broken teeth. “We used to cross here every day,” she said softly. I bent down and touched the cold stone, trying to picture the bridge in the photo. A wave of sadness washed over me, though I had never seen the bridge myself. Para 2: Before I left, I asked Grandmother why she kept the photo for so long. She smiled and put it back into the small box. “Because a photo is not paper,” she said. “It is what is left of a place and of the people who lived there.” It dawned on me that heritage is not only about old stones—it is about the memories we choose to keep. I decided to write down every story she told me. 解析：动作链 walked…stopped…placed ＋ bent down…touched（Para 1 后半段）；心理描写 A wave of sadness washed over me 与 It dawned on me that… 各一处；伏笔回收：照片（put it back into the box）、石头（a few grey stones/cold stone）、祖母的话（what is left of a place）三条全部落地；主题回扣“记忆与传承”，人称 I 与一般过去时通篇一致。 D档·易错清零（改错） 下面是一位同学的续写片段，有人称、时态、衔接、伏笔四处问题，请找出并改正。 学生习作：I opened its back and compares each gear with the diagrams. At first I often fail, and a wave of frustration washes over me. She told me the clock was old, and I put it on the table and never looked at it again. However, I finished it quickly and understood everything. 参考答案： 序号 原句问题 病因 改正 1 compares/fail/washes 时态跳到现在时 compared/failed/washed 2 She told me（凭空出现她） 人称与人物凭空新增 改为 Grandfather had told me 3 never looked at it again 与段首句“修好它”矛盾 改为 but I did not give up 4 However, I finished it quickly 硬转折＋无过程 去掉 However，补上反复尝试的动作链 解析：第2处最隐蔽：原文只有爷爷和“我”，突然冒出 she 就属于人物跳；第3处是情节跳——前一句放弃、后一句完成，中间缺过程。改法：补三个连续动作（opened—compared—worked out）＋一处失败心理。 七、带走型收尾：TPCC速记卡 ● TPCC：主题、情节、人物、变化，四样齐了再动笔。 ● ARE动作链：动作→反应→情感，让人物动起来。 ● 三工具：心理句（It dawned on me.../A wave of...washed over me）、伏笔回收、主题回扣。 ● 红线：人物不跳、时态不乱、人称统一。 顺口记：先搭TPCC，再写动作链；伏笔要回收，结尾回主题。 铁律：续写里出现的每一个物件、每一句话，都要在结尾有着落——无用的细节别写，写了的必须收。 自查30秒清单：① 段首句接着写了吗？② 人物性格前后一样吗？③ 动词都是过去式吗？④ 圈出的伏笔都回应了吗？⑤ 词数在130—150之间吗？五问全过再交卷。 八、课后巩固练习 （一）巩固练习一·完整续写（130—150词） 原文：Our town's oldest bookstore was about to close. The owner, an elderly man named Mr Hu, stood at the door and watched people walk past without stopping. My friend and I decided to do something. “The shop has been here for sixty years,” my friend said. “We can't just let it disappear.” I nodded, but I had no idea what we could do. 段首句：Para 1: The next morning, we put up a poster outside the bookstore. / Para 2: A week later, the bookstore was full of people. 参考续写：（续写正文合计142词） Para 1: The next morning, we put up a poster outside the bookstore. We wrote down the shop's story in large letters and added a line at the bottom: “Come and read a page of sixty years.” My friend stood beside me, handing out leaflets to everyone who passed. At first only a few passers-by stopped. Then an old woman came in with her grandson, and a young teacher took photos of the wooden shelves. Mr Hu watched them in silence, and his hands shook a little as he straightened the books. Para 2: A week later, the bookstore was full of people. Students sat on the floor reading, and a local newspaper reporter was taking notes. Mr Hu moved among them, answering questions about the oldest books on the shelves. It dawned on me that a place stays alive not because it is old, but because people still care about it. We had not saved a shop; we had helped a memory find new readers. 伏笔回收说明：回收了“六十年的店”（the shop's story、sixty years）、“people walk past without stopping”（由无人驻足到满屋人）、“We can't just let it disappear”（阻止消失）三处伏笔；结尾回扣主题“记忆被延续”。动作链在 Para 1 的 wrote—added—handing out，心理描写为 It dawned on me that…，人称 we/I 与一般过去时通篇一致。 （二）巩固练习二·伏笔识别与动作链补写 阅读原文片段，完成两项任务。 原文：Aunt Lin makes clay pots by hand in a small village. Every pot takes her three days, and she never sells them cheaply. “The clay remembers the hands,” she often says. One day, a young man offered to buy all her pots at a low price. She looked at him and shook her head slowly. 任务1：列出两处伏笔并说明结尾应如何回收。任务2：补写一段50词左右的动作链，描写Aunt Lin继续做陶的过程。 参考答案： 任务1：伏笔① “The clay remembers the hands”（话语伏笔，结尾应回扣“手艺/用心”的主题）；伏笔② 她拒绝低价收购（行为伏笔，暗示她看重手艺本身而非价钱，续写中应坚持不妥协，可让年轻人最终按价购买或留下当学徒）。 任务2：She sat down at the wheel, took a piece of wet clay, and pressed her thumbs into the centre. The clay rose slowly between her hands, and her fingers moved along the edge until a smooth bowl appeared. She did not look up once. The young man waited, then turned and left. 解析：动作链为 sat down…took…pressed…rose…moved，符合ARE的Action层；She did not look up once 是Response（对诱惑的无声拒绝），回应前文她摇头的态度；末句 The young man waited, then turned and left 把外部反应补完整，全段约52词。 （三）巩固练习三·升格改写 下面三句都是“标签句”，请各改写为一句“动作＋反应/心理”的句子，形容词不超过一个。 1．I was very happy when the craftsman agreed to teach me. 2．She was nervous before the performance. 3．He was moved when he saw the repaired bridge. 参考答案： 1．My heart raced as he placed the red paper in my hands. “Cut slowly,” he said, “and let the paper teach you.” 2．She stood behind the curtain, pressed her programme flat, and counted her breaths until her hands stopped shaking. 3．He ran his hand along the new railing and stopped in the middle of the bridge, his eyes growing wet. 解析：三句的共同做法：删掉 was＋情感形容词，换成一处身体反应（heart raced/hands shaking/eyes wet）＋一个具体动作（placed/pressed/ran his hand），必要时加一句不超过8词的直接引语。 （四）巩固练习四·本讲词块回扣 下面8个词块直接可用于文化遗产主题的续写，先默写，再各造一个一般过去时的句子。 词块 用法提示 造句示例（一般过去时） pass...on (to) 传承，及物，可带人/物 She passed the skill on to her grandson. keep...alive 使……延续 The villagers kept the old custom alive. be at a loss 茫然，不知所措 I was at a loss when I saw the broken clock. take pride in 以……为荣 He took pride in every pot he made. run one's hand over 抚摸，手部动作 She ran her hand over the smooth cover. light up （眼睛）亮起来 His eyes lit up at the sight of the photo. hand...down 把……传下去 The box was handed down for three generations. be worth doing 值得做，主动表被动 The old street is worth protecting. 教师提示：本讲词块与Unit 1单元词汇同源，下一讲（第14讲·读写实战）要把它们用到倡议书与续写里，默写不过关的先补这一格。 第 页 学科网（北京）股份有限公司 $