内容正文:
2026全国1卷读后续写
作文讲评
原文大意:
美国底特律的 25 岁女孩艾米丽,为了圣诞节去多伦多见男友,不顾暴雪预警贸然驾车出发。她原以为会像家乡那样有交通绕行措施,结果却在加拿大遭遇严重暴风雪,被分流到陌生道路上。在能见度为零的“白茫”风雪中,她的车滑进了沟里,手机也没有信号,只能绝望地在车里过夜。就在她无助之时,一对好心的夫妇丹尼尔和瑞秋发现了她,把她带到了附近的咖啡馆,给她提供了帮助。
第二节
Daniel and Rachel suggested that Emily continue her journey by train.
Three days later, Emily returned to get her car.
段首句分析
故事情节很明确,但难点在于如何增添一些相关细节去丰富内容。
para.1: Daniel and Rachel suggested that Emily continue
her journey by train.
Para1:
情节1:Emily的反应和心理活动
情节2:与夫妻的互动
情节3:接受建议,决定去见男友
追求极简情节 √
描写见到男友的激动 ×
para.1: Daniel and Rachel suggested that Emily continue
her journey by train.
Para2:
情节1:Emily看到车后的反应
情节2:对夫妻的感谢(赠送小礼物等)
情节3:升华
追求极简情节 √
怀疑车被偷了这种 ×
Para1
句式 1:Done, sb did (分词作伴随状语)
Faced with the dilemma of the stuck car and the coming Christmas reunion, Emily hesitated for a moment.
情节1:Emily的反应和心理活动
At the sound of what they said, Emily felt a sense of warmth welling up in her heart and surging through her whole body. With tears of gratitude in her eyes, she accepted the proposal.
情节2:与夫妻的互动
句式 2: doing, sb did (分词作伴随状语)
句式3: At the sound/thought of...
Sensing her anxiety, the couple assured her that they would have the car pulled to a safe place when the weather was better.
What touched her most was that they offered to drive her to the train station. Eventually, Emily spent a sweet holiday with her boyfriend with their selfless help.
句式4:What touched her most was that...
情节3:接受建议,决定去见男友
Faced with the dilemma of the stuck car and the coming Christmas reunion, Emily hesitated for a moment. Sensing her anxiety, the couple assured her that they would have the car pulled to a safe place when the weather was better. At the sound of what they said, Emily felt a sense of warmth welling up in her heart and surging through her whole body. With tears of gratitude in her eyes, she accepted the proposal.What touched her most was that they even offered to drive her to the train station.Eventually, Emily spent a sweet holiday with her boyfriend with their selfless help.
Para2
When she came back to the appointed place, coming into sight was her brand new car which had been repaired and cleaned. Beside it were Daniel and Rachel, smiling at her. Deeply moved, Emily threw herself into Rachel’s arms, expressing her sincere gratitude to her.
情节1:Emily看到车后的反应
句式5:完全倒装 --- 介词短语/doing +be+真正的主语
1) coming into sight was...
2) Beside it were...
“Thank you, Daniel and Rachel. Had it not been for your kind help, I wouldn’t have spent a happy Christmas.”
It was kindness between people that turned a dangerous snowstorm into a precious Christmas memory.
情节2:对夫妻的再次感谢(也可赠送除钱外的小礼物)
情节3:升华(句式7:强调句)
It was kindness between people that made the world filled with warmth and happiness.
句式6:Had it not been for..., I wouldn’t have had...
When she came back to the appointed place, coming into sight was her brand new car which had been repaired and cleaned. Beside it were Daniel and Rachel, smiling at her. Deeply moved, Emily threw herself into Rachel’s arms, expressing her sincere gratitude to her. “Thank you, Daniel and Rachel. Had it not been for your kind help, I wouldn’t have spent a happy Christmas.” The couple gently patted her back, saying that they just did what they wanted to do. It was at that time that Emily realized kindness between people could turn a dangerous snowstorm into a precious Christmas memory.
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