2026-2027学年新高一暑期衔接Lesson 10 读后续写 专练

**基本信息** 以“读-析-写”三阶训练体系构建读后续写能力，通过文本信息提取、情节逻辑构建、语言表达优化培养语言能力与思维品质。 **专项设计** |模块|题量/典例|方法提炼|知识逻辑| |----|-----------|----------|----------| |方法指导|2篇例文+2道练习|通读提取线索词/情感词→分析矛盾焦点/人物性格→构思符合逻辑的情节发展→运用多样句式完成续写|遵循“阅读理解→信息整合→逻辑构建→语言输出”递进链条，实现输入与输出的有机统一|

Lesson10 读后续写 读后续写分两个部分，一是读二是写。 读要求学生读懂文章故事发展，判断出场人物以及人物性格，判断故事走向和结尾。 写则是在读的基础上，根据所给的段落开头句完成文章。写的部分要求在情节符合正文走向，符合出场人物性格，使用各种不同的句式和词汇完成文章。 实践中很多学生会有的问题比如： 对话过多（对话可以适度出现，用于表示说话人当时的情绪或推动剧情。但不可占太多篇幅）， 句式简单（学生在训练时应当有意识地使用高级句式才能在文章中写得顺手） 内容单薄（续写内容基本是记叙文，考生需逐步写清楚故事发展的逻辑） 例文1 My mother was a supporter of physical punishment, but for all her talking she had spanked(打屁股)my siblings(兄弟姐妹)and me only once. Instead she found ways of punishment that left a more lasting memory than giving us a spanking. One of the most memorable of these occasions occurred when I was four. In the early 70's my mother attended college during the day and I was in daycare. One day at daycare I watched an extremely tired mother attempt to pick up her daughter. The little girl asked, “Momma, are we going to McDonald's for dinner?” The mother replied, “Honey, not tonight. Momma has to run a few errands(差事)and then we have to go home and cook dinner for Daddy. ”But I wanna go. ”Susie, I said not tonight. Maybe, if you are a good girl, we can go tomorrow.” Susie immediately dropped to the floor, kicking and screaming, “I want to go to McDonald's.” No amount of pleading(恳求)or scolding that her mother tried could stop Susie's tantrum(发脾气).Finally her mother gave in,“ Okay, Susie, let's go to McDonald's. ” Susie stopped yelling and smiled, she grabbed her mother's hand and they left. To say I was amazed would be inaccurate; I was delighted that anything I wanted could be had by throwing a tantrum. That day my mother picked me up early from daycare because we were going to a store to purchase some Christmas items. I was excited by the lights and decorations, and as we walked through the toy section on the way to the counter, I saw a toy I had to have. It was a white and red telephone whose bells rang as it was pulled along on a string. Looking lovingly up at my mother I asked, “Mama, can I have that telephone?” She replied,“ Baby, not now, but if you are a good girl, maybe Santa will bring it to you. ”But Mama, I want that telephone right now.” Her eyes narrowed and her hand tightened on mine. Becky, you can't have that telephone today, but if you misbehave, you can have a spanking.” 注意: 1.所续写短文的词数应为150左右; 2.续写部分分为两段,每段的开头语已为你写好; Paragraph 1: By now we were standing in the long Holiday line to pay the bill, and I figured it was a good chance. ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ Paragraph 2: “Mama, stop. Mama, get up,” I tearfully pleaded. ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ 思路点拨: 第一步:通读文本,提取线索词和信息句,写出每段段落大意. 第一段 重点信息句:she found ways of punishment that left a more lasting memory than giving us a spanking. 线索词:my mom and I 情感词:lasting memory 段落大意:despite the fact that my mom supports physical punishment, she found a special way to punish me without spanking me. 第二段 重点信息句:Susie immediately dropped to the floor, kicking and screaming. 线索词:Susie and her mom 情感词:kicking and screaming 段落大意:Susie wanted to go to McDonald's for dinner, but was declined by her mom. 第三段 重点信息句:her mother gave in and they went to McDonald's. 线索词:stopped yelling throwing a tantrum. 情感词:delighted 段落大意:Susie got what she wanted by throwing a tantrum, so I would model after her 第四段 重点信息句:Looking lovingly up at my mother I asked, “Mama, can I have that telephone?” 线索词:I saw a toy I had to have 情感词:excited; lovingly 段落大意:I saw the toy I liked very much and asked my mom to buy it. 第五段 重点信息句:But Mama, I want that telephone right now. 线索词:but if you misbehave, you can have a spanking. 情感词:Her eyes narrowed and her hand tightened on mine. 段落大意:I insisted on buying the toy but my mom refused. 第二步:根据文本每段内容,结合所给续写部分的首句,构思完整的故事情节. 人物 Mom; I 矛盾焦点 我想耍赖获得玩具,妈妈如何在不体罚我的情况下让我明白耍赖是行不通的. 故事情节 我妈妈主张对孩子应该体罚,但是从未真正体罚过孩子.我四岁的时候看到小朋友在妈妈面前任性耍赖而得到满足,我心里就有了效仿小朋友的想法.没想到妈妈在大庭广众之下坐在地上模仿我的耍赖样子,我被吓到了,流着泪求妈妈起来.妈妈没有体罚我却给我上了一节终生难忘的一课. 参考范文: Paragraph 1: By now we were standing in the long Holiday line to pay the bill, and I figured it was a good chance. I lay down on the ground and began screaming, “I want that telephone,” over and over again. Weary Christmas shoppers looked as my mother calmly said, “Becky, you'd better get up by the count of three or else. One...Two...Three. ” Nothing. I was still in full tantrum. So then she lay down beside me on the floor, and began kicking and screaming, “I want a new car, I want a new house. I want some jewelry, I want...” Shocked, I stood up. “Mama, stop. Mama, get up,” I tearfully pleaded. She stood and brushed herself off. At first stunned, the others waiting in line began to sporadically clap, and before I knew it they were cheering and laughing and patting my mother on her back. She blushed and took a little bow and the next thirty minutes in line was pure misery for me as various parents leaving the store, shook their heads at me and say with a smile, “Your mom got you good. I bet you'll never try that again. ” And I didn’t because it left a lasting mental picture more effective than any physical mark. 例文2 One fall, my wife Elli and I had a single goal: to photograph polar bears. We were staying at a research camp outside “the polar bear capital of the world"-the town of Churchill in Manitoba, Canada. Taking pictures of polar bears is amazing but also dangerous. Polar bears, like all wild animals-should be photographed from a safe distance. When I'm face to face with a polar bear, I like it to be through a camera with a telephoto lens. But sometimes that is easier said than done. This was one of those times. As Elli and I cooked dinner, a young male polar bear who was playing in a nearby lake sniffed and smelled our garlic bread. The hungry bear followed his nose to our camp, which was surrounded by a high wire fence. He pulled and bit the wire. He stood on his back legs and pushed at the wooden fence posts. Terrified, Elli and I tried all the bear defense actions we knew. We yelled at the bear, hit pots hard, and fired blank shotgun shells into the air. Sometimes loud noises like these will scare bears off. Not this polar bear though-he just kept trying to tear down the fence with his massive paws(爪子). I radioed the camp manager for help. He told me a helicopter was on its way, but it would be 30 minutes before it arrived. Making the best of this close encounter(相遇),I took some pictures of the bear. Elli and I feared the fence wouldn't last through 30 more minutes of the bear's punishment. The camp manager suggested I use pepper spray. The spray burns the bears' eyes but doesn't hurt them. So I approached our uninvited guest slowly and, through the fence, sprayed him in the face. With an angry roar(吼叫),the bear ran to the lake to wash his eyes. Paragraph 1: A few minutes later, the bear headed back to our camp. ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ Paragraph 2: At that very moment, the helicopter arrived. ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ 思路点拨: 思路一: 本文主要讲述了人与熊对抗,之后成功脱险的故事.主人公的感情线变化为:兴奋渴望→惊恐→放松.剧情线以主人公如何与北极熊周旋并成功摆脱它展开. 由第一段的段首提示句可知:几分钟后,熊又回到营地.接下来可通过场景渲染,描写当时令人颤栗惊恐的画面,例如“Roars and screams pierced the silence with needle-like shrillness.”这不仅合理地描写了熊的反应,也描绘出让人战栗的场景. 由第二段的段首提示句可知:此时,直升机到了.如果想要进行续写两段的合理衔接,第一段的结尾可描写成“After thoroughly scrutinizing the area, the bear trotted forward a few steps.”这样可以营造出危急的场景.“我们”看到直升机的到来,感到绝处逢生的喜悦,可以以人物心理描写作为第二段的开头,重点描写喜极而泣的状态,例如“My heart leaped with joy as I knew we were likely to be saved.” 最后,结尾部分需要迅速收束,并说明成功逃脱的结局. 关于画线词:Elli作为女主人公,是续写内容中应该出现的画线词,noises, pictures, fence, spray与熊有关,也在两段续写内容中出现.最终,两人回归安全状态,因此画线词safe也可自然而然地出现在续写内容中.由此划分画线词,可迅速锁定需使用的画线词范围,辅助构思. 参考范文: A few minutes later, the bear headed back to our camp. Roars and screams pierced the silence with needle-like shrillness. The noises turned Elli and I pale with horror. I feared that the giant would destroy our whole fence. He roared repeatedly, shattering what was left of the silence. Elli seized this opportunity to take some pictures of the bear. The animal's noises echoed all around us. We betrayed our feelings by huddling together, shivering with fear. After thoroughly scrutinizing the area, he trotted forward a few steps. At that very moment, the helicopter arrived. My heart leaped with joy as I knew we were likely to be saved. Elli used pepper spray again to buy us enough time. But this time the bear became more alert. He regarded us with the merciless necessity of hunger, so we threw all the food we have. He then turned away and started devouring. As we were climbing the rope ladder, Elli prayed like thousand times to show thankfulness of being safe and sound. 思路二: 由第一段的段首句可知,热爱摄影的“我”和妻子Ellie处于危险之中－北极熊再次向他们靠近了,表明情况不容乐观.而第二段的首句明确了救援的直升机终于赶来,一切就此出现了转机.所以在构思时,越是将第一段写得危急,就越能与后面的转折形成鲜明对比,增加故事性. 因此,联系前文背景,续写第一段可以先描写熊的动向和作者的心理,之后描写作者的应对举措.由前文和段首句分析可知,胡椒喷雾并未阻挡熊继续靠近,反而激怒了它.而“我”作为摄影师,看到拍摄对象不断进入自己的取景范围不禁想要立刻实现梦想去拍摄,然而求生的本能让“我”无暇他顾.后面采取的措施可以是作者急中生智,决定和妻子把面包给熊来拖延时间等待救援.而眼看着可怕的熊在不断靠近,面包也即将耗尽.至此,作者夫妇二人几乎陷入绝境.这一部分可以进行生动的描写让作者的心理刻画更为生动,例如“While it was looking like a dark cloud...”. 第二段首,直升飞机抵达,至此,可以进一步渲染危急的场景,继续描写熊的动作,例如猛击栅栏.在描写完二人获救后,结尾呼应前文,作者一路有惊无险,成功用相机拍到梦寐以求的照片,不虚此行. 关于画线词:Elli作为女主人公,是续写内容中应该出现的画线词,除此以外,spray的提及可呼应前文,交代故事发展,photograph, camera可以直接呼应“我”采取的一些行动,bread是我们想到的解决方案,fence与熊相关.由此展开画线词,保证了故事的合理性. 参考范文: A few minutes later, the bear headed back to our camp. He could not resist the temptation of the bread. The pepper spray had slowed the bear but wasn't enough to stop the beast. On the contrary, it provoked the bear and made him even more furious. Much as I wanted to photograph the approaching bear, my survival instinct overtook my desire to capture the perfect photo. In a moment of panic, Ellie and I decided to give him what he wanted-the garlic bread. While it was looking like a dark cloud, we threw the bread at the bear a little bit at a time until it had run out. At that very moment, the helicopter arrived. But the irritated bear had already started to whack the fence. I feared that the bear would tear down the fence at any minute. Luckily, the rangers came to our rescue. They managed to calm the bear down and distract him with some sort of acoustics. Even though my heart was still thumping wildly inside my chest, I snatched my camera and snapped one last shot of the bear, a photo that I had always longed to capture. Though risking my life, I've got the best picture ever and it's all worth it. 思路三: 续写两段中,故事的剧情在第一段结尾达到高潮,之后开始回落;可以推测主人公的情绪呈现出“紧张→惊恐→松一口气→彻底放松”的变化. 第一段北极熊返回后,可以通过熊的新一轮进攻引出剧情,随着熊的攻击愈发猛烈,主人公需要采取新方法避险.例如,可以描写熊再次攻击栅栏,“我”如何使用随身物品应对进攻,保护自己和妻子的安全.同时也可以描写妻子的动作和情绪,烘托场面的危急.通过“我”与熊的动作交替,在第一段最后一句将人与熊的矛盾推至最大. 第二段直升机到来后,可以描写“我”避险的动作,例如立刻调转方向跑回营地.之后利用直升机的优势解决问题,如利用螺旋桨发出的巨大声响吓退经验不足的北极熊.结尾处呼应开头,总结作者此行的目的是否达成. 关于画线词:Elli作为女主人公,是续写内容中应该出现的画线词,除此以外,fence的描写与熊相关,“我”用camera进行攻击防身,以达到safe的目的,动作描写包含run,危急时刻直升飞机的noises保证了可以击退熊,最终提及pictures呼应此行目的.由此展开画线词,布局合理自然,符合故事逻辑. 参考范文: A few minutes later, the bear headed back to our camp. The furry giant must have gathered his wits, for he suddenly reared up and attacked the fence with ferocious strength, leaving a narrow opening on it. Behind me, Elli muffled a cry of terror. My eyes were fixed on the intruder. My mind raced like flash as my hands groped for anything that might keep us safe from the bear's rampage. That's when I felt the camera. With little hesitation, I shoved the equipment through the opening as the polar bear closed his jaws on the lens and then pulled my whole camera out and smashed it. At that very moment, the helicopter arrived. I ran back to the camp, stumbling a hundred times in my haste. Elli contacted the pilot over the radio. Hearing that we had not suffered any physical injury, the pilot told us to stay put and cover our ears. The harsh whooshing noise of the approaching helicopter spooked the young bear. The animal took a few hesitant steps back and eventually disappeared back towards the lake. Although my camera has met its glorious end, and though all our pictures were lost, our memory of this unexpected encounter remains fresh till this day. 练习 1 One weekend in July, Jane and her husband, Tom, had driven three hours to camp overnight by a lake in the forest. Unfortunately, on the way an unpleasant subject came up and they started to quarrel. By the time they reached the lake, Jane was so angry that she said to Tom. “I'm going to find a better spot for us to camp" and walked away. With no path to follow, Jane just walked on for quite a long time. After she had climbed to a high place, she turned around, hoping to see the lake. To her surprise, she saw nothing but forest and, far beyond, a snow-capped mountain top. She suddenly realized that she was lost. “Tom!“ she cried,“ Help!” No reply. If only she had not left her mobile phone in that bag with Tom. Jane kept moving, but the farther she walked, the more confused she became. As night was beginning to fall, Jane was so tired that she had to stop for the night. Lying awake in the dark, Jane wanted very much to be with Tom and her family. She wanted to hold him and tell him how much she loved him. Jane rose at the break of day, hungry and thirsty. She could hear water trickling(滴落) somewhere at a distance. Quickly she followed the sound to a stream. To her great joy, she also saw some berry bushes. She drank and ate a few berries. Never in her life had she tasted anything better. Feeling stronger now, Jane began to walk along the stream and hope it would lead her to the lake. As she picked her way carefully along the stream, Jane heard a helicopter. Is that for me? Unfortunately, the trees made it impossible for people to see her from above. A few minutes later, another helicopter flew overhead. Jane took off her yellow blouse, thinking that she should go to an open area and flag them if they came back again. Paragraph 1: But no more helicopters came and it was getting dark again. ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ Paragraph 2: It was daybreak when Jane woke up. ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ 参考范文: Paragraph 1: But no more helicopters came and it was getting dark again. Feeling cold and hungry, she said to herself with great regret: If I hadn't quarreled with Tom, I wouldn't have got lost in the forest. Now Jane had no choice but to walk along a stream until she found a suitable place to stay in the forest for the night. Luckily, she found a box of matches in her pocket, she lit a fire in the open space to keep warm and keep away wild animals. Exhausted, She fell fast asleep and dreamed of seeing Tom. Paragraph 2: It was daybreak when Jane woke up. She ate some berries and then walked along the stream, hoping to find a suitable place to guide the helicopter when she saw a huge rock erecting at a distance. She rushed to the rock, climbed onto it and waited. To her great joy, the helicopter appeared again. she wildly flagged the yellow blouse. Luckily, the helicopter spotted Jane this time and it landed near the big rock slowly. Tom jumped off the helicopter and ran towards Jane. She hugged Tom tightly and whispered: It is all my fault, nothing will separate us from now on.” 2 On a bright, warm July afternoon, Mac Hollan, a primary school teacher, was cycling from his home to Alaska with his friends. One of his friends had stopped to make a bicycle repair, but they had encouraged Mac to carry on, and they would catch up with him soon. As Mac pedaled(骑行)along alone, he thought fondly of his wife and two young daughters at home. He hoped to show them this beautiful place someday. Then Mac heard quick and loud breathing behind him. “Man, that's a big dog!” he thought. But when he looked to the side, he saw instantly that it wasn't a dog at all, but a wolf, quickly catching up with him. Mac's heart jumped. He found out his can of bear spray. With one hand on the bars, he fired the spray at the wolf. A bright red cloud enveloped the animal, and to Mac's relief, it fell back, shaking its head. But a minute later, it was by his side again. Then it attacked the back of Mac's bike, tearing open his tent bag. He fired at the wolf a second time, and again, it fell back only to quickly restart the chase(追赶). Mac was pedaling hard now. He waved and yelled at passing cars but was careful not to slow down. He saw a steep uphill climb before him. He knew that once he hit the hill, he'd be easily caught up and the wolf's teeth would be tearing into his flesh. At this moment, Paul and Becky were driving their car on their way to Alaska. They didn't think much of it when they saw two cyclists repairing their bike on the side of the road. A bit later, they spotted what they, too, assumed was a dog running alongside a man on a bike. As they got closer, they realized that the dog was a wolf. Mac heard a large vehicle behind him. He pulled in front of it as the wolf was catching up fast, just a dozen yards away now. Paragraph 1: The car abruptly stopped in front of him. ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ Paragraph 2: A few minutes later, the other two cyclists arrived. ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ 参考范文: Paragraph 1: The car abruptly stopped in front of him. Paul and Becky got out of the car immediately to give the help. With nothing on the hand, they didn't dare to fight against the wolf. However, they still approached the wolf bravely. At the same time, the wolf also noticed them and turned its head back, howling angrily towards Paul and Becky. Mac then jumped off the bicycle and was ready to fight against the wolf. Then came the deadlock. Paragraph 2: A few minutes later, the other two cyclists arrived. They found the dangerous situation, where three men circled the wolf. Mac's friends also jumped off their bicycles and joined the fight with the wolf. More and more cars stopped. Some drivers took out the sticks from the cars, and some took out the knives, even the guns towards the wolf. In the meanwhile, the wolf might feel the people's threats around, so it began to step back slowly. Soon, it ran away off the road and disappeared in the distance. 学科网（北京）股份有限公司 $ Lesson10 读后续写 读后续写分两个部分，一是读二是写。 读要求学生读懂文章故事发展，判断出场人物以及人物性格，判断故事走向和结尾。 写则是在读的基础上，根据所给的段落开头句完成文章。写的部分要求在情节符合正文走向，符合出场人物性格，使用各种不同的句式和词汇完成文章。 实践中很多学生会有的问题比如： 对话过多（对话可以适度出现，用于表示说话人当时的情绪或推动剧情。但不可占太多篇幅）， 句式简单（学生在训练时应当有意识地使用高级句式才能在文章中写得顺手） 内容单薄（续写内容基本是记叙文，考生需逐步写清楚故事发展的逻辑） 例文1 My mother was a supporter of physical punishment, but for all her talking she had spanked(打屁股)my siblings(兄弟姐妹)and me only once. Instead she found ways of punishment that left a more lasting memory than giving us a spanking. One of the most memorable of these occasions occurred when I was four. In the early 70's my mother attended college during the day and I was in daycare. One day at daycare I watched an extremely tired mother attempt to pick up her daughter. The little girl asked, “Momma, are we going to McDonald's for dinner?” The mother replied, “Honey, not tonight. Momma has to run a few errands(差事)and then we have to go home and cook dinner for Daddy. ”But I wanna go. ”Susie, I said not tonight. Maybe, if you are a good girl, we can go tomorrow.” Susie immediately dropped to the floor, kicking and screaming, “I want to go to McDonald's.” No amount of pleading(恳求)or scolding that her mother tried could stop Susie's tantrum(发脾气).Finally her mother gave in,“ Okay, Susie, let's go to McDonald's. ” Susie stopped yelling and smiled, she grabbed her mother's hand and they left. To say I was amazed would be inaccurate; I was delighted that anything I wanted could be had by throwing a tantrum. That day my mother picked me up early from daycare because we were going to a store to purchase some Christmas items. I was excited by the lights and decorations, and as we walked through the toy section on the way to the counter, I saw a toy I had to have. It was a white and red telephone whose bells rang as it was pulled along on a string. Looking lovingly up at my mother I asked, “Mama, can I have that telephone?” She replied,“ Baby, not now, but if you are a good girl, maybe Santa will bring it to you. ”But Mama, I want that telephone right now.” Her eyes narrowed and her hand tightened on mine. Becky, you can't have that telephone today, but if you misbehave, you can have a spanking.” 注意: 1.所续写短文的词数应为150左右; 2.续写部分分为两段,每段的开头语已为你写好; Paragraph 1: By now we were standing in the long Holiday line to pay the bill, and I figured it was a good chance. ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ Paragraph 2: “Mama, stop. Mama, get up,” I tearfully pleaded. ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ 思路点拨: 第一步:通读文本,提取线索词和信息句,写出每段段落大意. 第一段 重点信息句:she found ways of punishment that left a more lasting memory than giving us a spanking. 线索词:my mom and I 情感词:lasting memory 段落大意:despite the fact that my mom supports physical punishment, she found a special way to punish me without spanking me. 第二段 重点信息句:Susie immediately dropped to the floor, kicking and screaming. 线索词:Susie and her mom 情感词:kicking and screaming 段落大意:Susie wanted to go to McDonald's for dinner, but was declined by her mom. 第三段 重点信息句:her mother gave in and they went to McDonald's. 线索词:stopped yelling throwing a tantrum. 情感词:delighted 段落大意:Susie got what she wanted by throwing a tantrum, so I would model after her 第四段 重点信息句:Looking lovingly up at my mother I asked, “Mama, can I have that telephone?” 线索词:I saw a toy I had to have 情感词:excited; lovingly 段落大意:I saw the toy I liked very much and asked my mom to buy it. 第五段 重点信息句:But Mama, I want that telephone right now. 线索词:but if you misbehave, you can have a spanking. 情感词:Her eyes narrowed and her hand tightened on mine. 段落大意:I insisted on buying the toy but my mom refused. 第二步:根据文本每段内容,结合所给续写部分的首句,构思完整的故事情节. 人物 Mom; I 矛盾焦点 我想耍赖获得玩具,妈妈如何在不体罚我的情况下让我明白耍赖是行不通的. 故事情节 我妈妈主张对孩子应该体罚,但是从未真正体罚过孩子.我四岁的时候看到小朋友在妈妈面前任性耍赖而得到满足,我心里就有了效仿小朋友的想法.没想到妈妈在大庭广众之下坐在地上模仿我的耍赖样子,我被吓到了,流着泪求妈妈起来.妈妈没有体罚我却给我上了一节终生难忘的一课. 例文2 One fall, my wife Elli and I had a single goal: to photograph polar bears. We were staying at a research camp outside “the polar bear capital of the world"-the town of Churchill in Manitoba, Canada. Taking pictures of polar bears is amazing but also dangerous. Polar bears, like all wild animals-should be photographed from a safe distance. When I'm face to face with a polar bear, I like it to be through a camera with a telephoto lens. But sometimes that is easier said than done. This was one of those times. As Elli and I cooked dinner, a young male polar bear who was playing in a nearby lake sniffed and smelled our garlic bread. The hungry bear followed his nose to our camp, which was surrounded by a high wire fence. He pulled and bit the wire. He stood on his back legs and pushed at the wooden fence posts. Terrified, Elli and I tried all the bear defense actions we knew. We yelled at the bear, hit pots hard, and fired blank shotgun shells into the air. Sometimes loud noises like these will scare bears off. Not this polar bear though-he just kept trying to tear down the fence with his massive paws(爪子). I radioed the camp manager for help. He told me a helicopter was on its way, but it would be 30 minutes before it arrived. Making the best of this close encounter(相遇),I took some pictures of the bear. Elli and I feared the fence wouldn't last through 30 more minutes of the bear's punishment. The camp manager suggested I use pepper spray. The spray burns the bears' eyes but doesn't hurt them. So I approached our uninvited guest slowly and, through the fence, sprayed him in the face. With an angry roar(吼叫),the bear ran to the lake to wash his eyes. Paragraph 1: A few minutes later, the bear headed back to our camp. ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ Paragraph 2: At that very moment, the helicopter arrived. ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ 思路点拨: 思路一: 本文主要讲述了人与熊对抗,之后成功脱险的故事.主人公的感情线变化为:兴奋渴望→惊恐→放松.剧情线以主人公如何与北极熊周旋并成功摆脱它展开. 由第一段的段首提示句可知:几分钟后,熊又回到营地.接下来可通过场景渲染,描写当时令人颤栗惊恐的画面,例如“Roars and screams pierced the silence with needle-like shrillness.”这不仅合理地描写了熊的反应,也描绘出让人战栗的场景. 由第二段的段首提示句可知:此时,直升机到了.如果想要进行续写两段的合理衔接,第一段的结尾可描写成“After thoroughly scrutinizing the area, the bear trotted forward a few steps.”这样可以营造出危急的场景.“我们”看到直升机的到来,感到绝处逢生的喜悦,可以以人物心理描写作为第二段的开头,重点描写喜极而泣的状态,例如“My heart leaped with joy as I knew we were likely to be saved.” 最后,结尾部分需要迅速收束,并说明成功逃脱的结局. 关于画线词:Elli作为女主人公,是续写内容中应该出现的画线词,noises, pictures, fence, spray与熊有关,也在两段续写内容中出现.最终,两人回归安全状态,因此画线词safe也可自然而然地出现在续写内容中.由此划分画线词,可迅速锁定需使用的画线词范围,辅助构思. 思路二: 由第一段的段首句可知,热爱摄影的“我”和妻子Ellie处于危险之中－北极熊再次向他们靠近了,表明情况不容乐观.而第二段的首句明确了救援的直升机终于赶来,一切就此出现了转机.所以在构思时,越是将第一段写得危急,就越能与后面的转折形成鲜明对比,增加故事性. 因此,联系前文背景,续写第一段可以先描写熊的动向和作者的心理,之后描写作者的应对举措.由前文和段首句分析可知,胡椒喷雾并未阻挡熊继续靠近,反而激怒了它.而“我”作为摄影师,看到拍摄对象不断进入自己的取景范围不禁想要立刻实现梦想去拍摄,然而求生的本能让“我”无暇他顾.后面采取的措施可以是作者急中生智,决定和妻子把面包给熊来拖延时间等待救援.而眼看着可怕的熊在不断靠近,面包也即将耗尽.至此,作者夫妇二人几乎陷入绝境.这一部分可以进行生动的描写让作者的心理刻画更为生动,例如“While it was looking like a dark cloud...”. 第二段首,直升飞机抵达,至此,可以进一步渲染危急的场景,继续描写熊的动作,例如猛击栅栏.在描写完二人获救后,结尾呼应前文,作者一路有惊无险,成功用相机拍到梦寐以求的照片,不虚此行. 关于画线词:Elli作为女主人公,是续写内容中应该出现的画线词,除此以外,spray的提及可呼应前文,交代故事发展,photograph, camera可以直接呼应“我”采取的一些行动,bread是我们想到的解决方案,fence与熊相关.由此展开画线词,保证了故事的合理性. 思路三: 续写两段中,故事的剧情在第一段结尾达到高潮,之后开始回落;可以推测主人公的情绪呈现出“紧张→惊恐→松一口气→彻底放松”的变化. 第一段北极熊返回后,可以通过熊的新一轮进攻引出剧情,随着熊的攻击愈发猛烈,主人公需要采取新方法避险.例如,可以描写熊再次攻击栅栏,“我”如何使用随身物品应对进攻,保护自己和妻子的安全.同时也可以描写妻子的动作和情绪,烘托场面的危急.通过“我”与熊的动作交替,在第一段最后一句将人与熊的矛盾推至最大. 第二段直升机到来后,可以描写“我”避险的动作,例如立刻调转方向跑回营地.之后利用直升机的优势解决问题,如利用螺旋桨发出的巨大声响吓退经验不足的北极熊.结尾处呼应开头,总结作者此行的目的是否达成. 关于画线词:Elli作为女主人公,是续写内容中应该出现的画线词,除此以外,fence的描写与熊相关,“我”用camera进行攻击防身,以达到safe的目的,动作描写包含run,危急时刻直升飞机的noises保证了可以击退熊,最终提及pictures呼应此行目的.由此展开画线词,布局合理自然,符合故事逻辑. 练习 1 One weekend in July, Jane and her husband, Tom, had driven three hours to camp overnight by a lake in the forest. Unfortunately, on the way an unpleasant subject came up and they started to quarrel. By the time they reached the lake, Jane was so angry that she said to Tom. “I'm going to find a better spot for us to camp" and walked away. With no path to follow, Jane just walked on for quite a long time. After she had climbed to a high place, she turned around, hoping to see the lake. To her surprise, she saw nothing but forest and, far beyond, a snow-capped mountain top. She suddenly realized that she was lost. “Tom!“ she cried,“ Help!” No reply. If only she had not left her mobile phone in that bag with Tom. Jane kept moving, but the farther she walked, the more confused she became. As night was beginning to fall, Jane was so tired that she had to stop for the night. Lying awake in the dark, Jane wanted very much to be with Tom and her family. She wanted to hold him and tell him how much she loved him. Jane rose at the break of day, hungry and thirsty. She could hear water trickling(滴落) somewhere at a distance. Quickly she followed the sound to a stream. To her great joy, she also saw some berry bushes. She drank and ate a few berries. Never in her life had she tasted anything better. Feeling stronger now, Jane began to walk along the stream and hope it would lead her to the lake. As she picked her way carefully along the stream, Jane heard a helicopter. Is that for me? Unfortunately, the trees made it impossible for people to see her from above. A few minutes later, another helicopter flew overhead. Jane took off her yellow blouse, thinking that she should go to an open area and flag them if they came back again. Paragraph 1: But no more helicopters came and it was getting dark again. ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ Paragraph 2: It was daybreak when Jane woke up. ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ 2 On a bright, warm July afternoon, Mac Hollan, a primary school teacher, was cycling from his home to Alaska with his friends. One of his friends had stopped to make a bicycle repair, but they had encouraged Mac to carry on, and they would catch up with him soon. As Mac pedaled(骑行)along alone, he thought fondly of his wife and two young daughters at home. He hoped to show them this beautiful place someday. Then Mac heard quick and loud breathing behind him. “Man, that's a big dog!” he thought. But when he looked to the side, he saw instantly that it wasn't a dog at all, but a wolf, quickly catching up with him. Mac's heart jumped. He found out his can of bear spray. With one hand on the bars, he fired the spray at the wolf. A bright red cloud enveloped the animal, and to Mac's relief, it fell back, shaking its head. But a minute later, it was by his side again. Then it attacked the back of Mac's bike, tearing open his tent bag. He fired at the wolf a second time, and again, it fell back only to quickly restart the chase(追赶). Mac was pedaling hard now. He waved and yelled at passing cars but was careful not to slow down. He saw a steep uphill climb before him. He knew that once he hit the hill, he'd be easily caught up and the wolf's teeth would be tearing into his flesh. At this moment, Paul and Becky were driving their car on their way to Alaska. They didn't think much of it when they saw two cyclists repairing their bike on the side of the road. A bit later, they spotted what they, too, assumed was a dog running alongside a man on a bike. As they got closer, they realized that the dog was a wolf. Mac heard a large vehicle behind him. He pulled in front of it as the wolf was catching up fast, just a dozen yards away now. Paragraph 1: The car abruptly stopped in front of him. ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ Paragraph 2: A few minutes later, the other two cyclists arrived. ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ 学科网（北京）股份有限公司 $