周16-3-Wednesday 考场作文研析（课件PPT）-高中英语提分写作周周赢应用文+读后续写（高中通用）

这是一份高中英语同步教学课件，聚焦“人与动物”主题读后续写，包含读后续写微技能（如衔接词、介词短语等）讲解、2020浙江卷改编续写材料分析、四步提分步骤（理要素情线、思情节原则、伏笔与语言协同）及范文与课后练习，为学生提供系统学习支架。 资料特色鲜明，通过具体衔接过渡微技能（如gratefully、to one’s surprise等）和“321”“CARE”原则培养语言能力，结合原文伏笔（如garlic bread）与动作链描写提升思维品质，范文与练习助力学生掌握续写逻辑，为教师提供结构化教学方案，有效提升教学效率与学生学习效果。适合高三学生，聚焦升学考试读后续写题型，帮助学生适应考试要求，提升应试能力。

Wednesday　考场作文研析 第 1 页 Week 16　通知&“人与动物”读后续写 读后续写微技能16　恰当衔接过渡 在续写过程中,根据所设计情节的上下文巧妙衔接过渡。1.利用恰当的衔接过渡词,如评注性副词gratefully、surprisingly、luckily、fortunately等。2.利用介词短语,如to one’s surprise、to one’s joy、in surprise等。3.利用表并列、转折、因果和序列顺序的单词或短语,如and、but、so、however、on the contrary等。4.利用代词的替代和承上或启下的省略。5.利用时间副词then、later、afterwards等或时间衔接词upon doing、without delay等。 第 1 页 Week 16　通知&“人与动物”读后续写 好题探索　(2020·浙江卷改编) 　　阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。 　　One fall, my wife Elli and I had a single goal: to photograph polar bears. We were staying at a research camp outside “the polar bear capital of the world”—the town of Churchill in Manitoba, Canada. Taking pictures of polar bears is amazing but also dangerous. Polar bears—like all wild animals—should be photographed from a safe distance. 第 1 页 Week 16　通知&“人与动物”读后续写 When I’m face to face with a polar bear, I like it to be through a camera with a telephoto lens.⑥ But sometimes, that is easier said than done. This was one of those times.  As Elli and I cooked dinner, a young male polar bear who was playing in a nearby lake sniffed, and smelled our garlic bread①.  The hungry bear followed his nose to our camp, which was surrounded by a high wire fence.⑦ He pulled and bit the wire.② He stood on his back legs and pushed at the wooden fence posts.③  第 1 页 Week 16　通知&“人与动物”读后续写 Terrified, Elli and I tried all the bear defense actions we knew.⑤ We yelled at the bear, hit pots hard, and fired blank shotgun shells into the air.④ Sometimes loud noises like these will scare bears off. Not this polar bear though—he just kept trying to tear down the fence with his massive paws (爪子).  I radioed the camp manager for help. He told me a helicopter was on its way, but it would be 30 minutes before it arrived.⑧ Making the best of this close encounter, I took some pictures of the bear.  第 1 页 Week 16　通知&“人与动物”读后续写 Elli and I feared the fence wouldn’t last through 30 more minutes of the bear’s punishment. The camp manager suggested I use pepper spray.⑨ The spray burns the bears’ eyes, but doesn’t hurt them. So I approached our uninvited guest slowly and, through the fence, sprayed him in the face. With an angry roar, the bear ran to the lake to wash his eyes.  第 1 页 Week 16　通知&“人与动物”读后续写 注意:1.续写词数应为150个左右;2.请按如下格式在以下位置作答。 　　A few minutes later, the bear headed back to our camp. At that very moment, the helicopter arrived. 请参考附录二~六 第 1 页 Week 16　通知&“人与动物”读后续写 提分步骤1　读原文　理基本要素和2情线 Who I, my wife, camp manager, a polar bear When one fall Where at a research camp What “我”和妻子待在营地准备晚饭,结果北极熊闯入,一场人熊大战即将展开。 第 1 页 Week 16　通知&“人与动物”读后续写 理2情线 第 1 页 Week 16　通知&“人与动物”读后续写 提分步骤2　思续写情节　“以旧带新”2原则(“321”原则——3衔接、2过渡、1主题;“CARE”原则——coherence, action, response, emotion) Para. 1　A few minutes later, the bear headed back to our camp. ◆衔接1　衔接首句中的“熊又回来了”:被喷雾刺痛眼睛的北极熊肯定被激怒了,会更猛烈地撞击围栏。 ◆过渡句1　“我”是否采取有效办法拖延时间等待救援呢?如扔面包,但无济于事,可描写妻子的动作和情绪,烘托场面的危急。 ◆衔接2　尾句衔接第二段首句中的“恰在此时”:将人与北极熊的冲突推到最大,营造危急的场景,如北极熊马上要破栏而入。 第 1 页 Week 16　通知&“人与动物”读后续写 Para. 2　At that very moment, the helicopter arrived. ◆衔接3　衔接首句中的“直升机到了”:直升机到来赶走恐惧,带来绝处逢生的喜悦。 ◆过渡句2　螺旋桨发出的巨大声响吓走北极熊→成功脱险→北极熊冲进营地吃面包。 ◆结尾+主题　尾句协同原文首段中的to photograph polar bears,可写“我”成功用相机拍到梦寐以求的照片。主题可升华为对大自然力量的敬畏感,意识到与野生动物相处的危险性。 第 1 页 Week 16　通知&“人与动物”读后续写 提分步骤3　思伏笔巧协同　原续更融洽 捕捉原文所设伏笔, 合理协同衔接,以使续写段落在逻辑和内容上与原文高度融洽。 原文伏笔点 过渡句中可与伏笔协同的细节 情节协同 Para. 2　Taking pictures of polar bears is amazing but also dangerous.; that is easier said than done→有潜在的危险;所以说起来容易做起来难 第一段可协同描写熊和“我们”之间的“进攻→防御→进攻→防御”过程,突出危险、急迫。在渲染北极熊攻击围栏的危险场景时,可描写周围的环境(如风声、草等),烘托人物处境的危险和人物内心的恐惧。 第 1 页 Week 16　通知&“人与动物”读后续写 情节协同 Para. 4　The hungry bear ... He pulled and bit the wire. He stood on his back legs and pushed ... Para. 5　... with his massive paws Para. 7　With an angry roar→熊的肢体动作、怒吼 第一段可写眼睛被胡椒喷雾伤害的北极熊用巨大的熊掌对围栏发动猛击等肢体动作描写,可伴随着怒吼。 第二段可描写饥肠辘辘的北极熊吃面包时狼吞虎咽的动作。 Para. 5　Sometimes loud noises like these will scare bears off. 第二段可协同写直升机发出的噪音(deafening noise)吓走了北极熊。 第 1 页 Week 16　通知&“人与动物”读后续写 物的 协同 garlic bread, my camera 第一段可描写朝北极熊扔面包,应对北极熊的攻击。 第二段可描写北极熊冲进营地享用“我们”遗落的面包。 第 1 页 Week 16　通知&“人与动物”读后续写 提分步骤4　协同原文语言　写3好表达(准确、丰富、地道) 1.用双连或三连动作链(原文①②③④)描写人物或熊的动作,生动形象,画面感很强。2.用形容词作状语(原文⑤)描写情感。3.灵活利用时间状语从句、定语从句、并列句和宾语从句等(原文⑥⑦⑧⑨)陈述事实。续写的语言也应抓住熊的特征,与原文语言风格保持一致,使一个体格粗壮、饥肠辘辘的北极熊形象跃然纸上。 　　(提示:续写范文Version 2见答案) 第 1 页 Week 16　通知&“人与动物”读后续写 Version 2 A few minutes later, the bear headed back to our camp. The furry creature launched an attack on the fence instantly, leaving a narrow opening on it. Obviously, the pepper spray only made him even more furious. I feared the giant would tear down the fence at any minute. Much as I wanted to photograph the approaching bear with my camera, I, without hesitation, grabbed the bread and threw it far away. However, in not even a minute did the hungry animal finish the bread and come back again, making Elli scream and shake all the time. 第 1 页 Week 16　通知&“人与动物”读后续写 At that very moment, the helicopter arrived. It hovered over the camp, making a deafening noise all around us. As we were lifted into the air we saw the stubborn bear already heading back to our camp. When Elli and I, safe and sound, got home and developed our pictures, we noticed the bear had a broken tooth. Like humans, polar bears feel pain, have emotions, and can be afraid. Elli and I learned our lesson: Beware of a bear with a toothache. 第 1 页 Week 16　通知&“人与动物”读后续写 完成《核心默练》10分钟 随堂微练16 第 1 页 Week 16　通知&“人与动物”读后续写 $