周15-3-Wednesday 考场作文研析（课件PPT）-高中英语提分写作周周赢应用文+读后续写（高中通用）

这是一份高中英语同步教学课件，围绕“人与自然”主题读后续写展开，包含“3长2短”句式节奏微技能讲解、四步续写提分步骤（读原文理要素、续情节、思伏笔、协同语言）、2023浙江首考真题解析及范文示例，为学生提供系统学习支架。 资料特色突出，以结构化步骤引导学生分析情节逻辑和伏笔，通过“原句扩充”等实例训练语言表达能力，融合核心素养，培养思维品质与文化意识，助力学生掌握读后续写方法，同时为教师提供同步教学的清晰路径，适合高中各年级，尤其满足高三备考需求。

Wednesday　考场作文研析 第 1 页 Week 15　演讲稿/致辞&“人与自然”读后续写 读后续写微技能15　3长2短　好句有节奏 写句子时,在句内添加状语(副词、介词短语、非谓语动词或状语从句)、定语(形容词、非谓语动词或定语从句)、补语(形容词、非谓语动词)等附加成分,使短句变长句,更加流畅和自然。续写里有两三个长句就可以,与短句配合,形成长短句结合的节奏感。如“I kicked the door hard and it broke.”扩充后变为“Without a second thought (介词短语), I took a deep breath and kicked the door hard, which broke open with a loud crash (定语从句).”,结合小短句“I dashed in.”,这样长短句交错,有画面感和节奏感。 第 1 页 Week 15　演讲稿/致辞&“人与自然”读后续写 好题探索　(2023·浙江首考) 　　阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。 　　I was invited to a cookout on an old friend’s farm in western Washington. I parked my car outside the farm and walked past a milking house which had apparently not been used in many years. A noise at a window caught my attention, so I entered it. It was a hummingbird (蜂鸟), desperately trying to escape. She was covered in spider-webs (蛛网) and was barely able to move her wings. She ceased her struggle the instant I picked her up. 第 1 页 Week 15　演讲稿/致辞&“人与自然”读后续写 With the bird in my cupped hand, I looked around to see how she had gotten in.③ The broken window glass was the likely answer. I stuffed a piece of cloth into the hole and took her outside, closing the door securely behind me.①  When I opened my hand, the bird did not fly away; she sat looking at me with her bright eyes. I removed the sticky spider-webs that covered her head and wings. Still, she made no attempt to fly. Perhaps she had been struggling against the window too long and was too tired? Or too thirsty?⑦  第 1 页 Week 15　演讲稿/致辞&“人与自然”读后续写 As I carried her up the blackberry-lined path toward my car where I kept a water bottle, she began to move.⑤ I stopped, and she soon took wing but did not immediately fly away. Hovering (盘旋), she approached within six inches of my face.④ For a very long moment, this tiny creature looked into my eyes, turning her head from side to side. Then she flew quickly out of sight.  第 1 页 Week 15　演讲稿/致辞&“人与自然”读后续写 During the cookout, I told my hosts about the hummingbird incident. They promised to fix the window. As I was departing, my friends walked me to my car. I was standing by the car when a hummingbird flew to the center of our group and began hovering.⑥ She turned from person to person until she came to me. She again looked directly into my eyes, then let out a squeaking call and was gone.② For a moment, all were speechless. Then someone said, “She must have come to say goodbye.”  第 1 页 Week 15　演讲稿/致辞&“人与自然”读后续写 注意:1.续写词数应为150个左右;2.请按如下格式在以下位置作答。 　　A few weeks later, I went to the farm again. 　　I was just about to leave when the hummingbird appeared. 请参考附录二~六 第 1 页 Week 15　演讲稿/致辞&“人与自然”读后续写 提分步骤1　读原文　理基本要素和2情线 Who I, hummingbird, my hosts, my friends When during a cookout Where a milking house, a farm What “我”发现一栋废弃的房子里有一只蜂鸟被蜘蛛网困住了,“我”救了蜂鸟。在“我”要离开时,蜂鸟停在“我”面前,似乎在告别。 第 1 页 Week 15　演讲稿/致辞&“人与自然”读后续写 理2情线 第 1 页 Week 15　演讲稿/致辞&“人与自然”读后续写 提分步骤2　思续写情节　“以旧带新”2原则(“321”原则——3衔接、2过渡、1主题;“CARE”原则——coherence, action, response, emotion) Para. 1　A few weeks later, I went to the farm again. ◆衔接1　衔接首句中的“又去了农场”:“我”接近农场时想起了什么?看到了什么? ◆过渡句1　走进挤奶房,查看窗户是否已修补→走出挤奶房,没看到蜂鸟→“我”的失望。 ◆衔接2　尾句衔接第二段首句中的“我刚要走”:“我”在离开前没见到蜂鸟的遗憾。 第 1 页 Week 15　演讲稿/致辞&“人与自然”读后续写 Para. 2　I was just about to leave when the hummingbird appeared. ◆衔接3　衔接首句中的“蜂鸟出现了”:蜂鸟向“我”飞过来的样子。 ◆过渡句2　“我”激动的心情→“我”和蜂鸟的互动(蜂鸟对“我”的亲昵动作、“我”对蜂鸟的爱抚动作)→蜂鸟飞走。 ◆结尾+主题　尾句协同原文第一段“我”对蜂鸟的救助以及“我”后来的感受,主题可升华为人与动物之间的和谐、互助与尊重。 提分步骤3　思伏笔巧协同　原续更融洽 捕捉原文所设伏笔, 合理协同衔接,以使续写段落在逻辑和内容上与原文高度融洽。 第 1 页 Week 15　演讲稿/致辞&“人与自然”读后续写 原文伏笔点 过渡句中可与 伏笔协同的细节 情节协同 Para. 1　I parked my car outside the farm and walked past a milking house ... Para. 2　The broken window glass was the likely answer. Para. 4　As I carried her up the blackberry-lined path toward my car ... Para. 5　They promised to fix the window. 第一段协同描写“我”走进挤奶房,查看窗户的破玻璃是否已更换;或可写被废弃的挤奶房、黑莓小径依旧,那只蜂鸟是否依旧呢? 第 1 页 Week 15　演讲稿/致辞&“人与自然”读后续写 情节 协同 Para. 4　Hovering, she approached within six inches of my face. For a very long moment, this tiny creature looked into my eyes, turning her head from side to side. Para. 5　then let out a squeaking call and was gone→蜂鸟的特征 第二段在蜂鸟出现后,协同描写蜂鸟飞过来、盘旋、落下、看“我”的样子以及发出叫声。 物的 协同 the broken window 第一段中应交代破碎的玻璃是否被更换。 第 1 页 Week 15　演讲稿/致辞&“人与自然”读后续写 提分步骤4　协同原文语言　写3好表达(准确、丰富、地道) 原文利用双连、三连动作链(原文①②),with复合结构(原文③),非谓语动词(原文④)及时间状语从句(原文⑤⑥)描写“我”和蜂鸟的动作,还有对“我”的心理活动描写(原文⑦),这些语言特点在续写中都要兼顾好,才能实现情节与语言的高度融合。 (提示:续写范文Version 2见答案) 第 1 页 Week 15　演讲稿/致辞&“人与自然”读后续写 Version 2 　　A few weeks later, I went to the farm again. As my car neared it, my thoughts drifted back to the moment when I rescued the hummingbird from the spider’s web. I rushed back to the deserted house. It was a relief to see the broken window glass replaced. My friend seemed to read my mind, chuckling, “The hummingbird might come back again.” Looking around the quiet milking house, I couldn’t help wondering how it was getting on now. Had it managed to find its way back home, or was it still out there somewhere struggling to survive? 第 1 页 Week 15　演讲稿/致辞&“人与自然”读后续写 I was just about to leave when the hummingbird appeared. She appeared out of nowhere and hovered above my head as if to say, “Hey there, old friend. Nice to see you again!” She flapped its wings, its tiny eyes darting back and forth. Then she landed in my cupped hands and looked gratefully into my eyes. I felt a surge of relief and awe at the sight of this grateful creature, and I knew that I would always cherish the memories we shared. 第 1 页 Week 15　演讲稿/致辞&“人与自然”读后续写 完成《核心默练》10分钟 随堂微练15 第 1 页 Week 15　演讲稿/致辞&“人与自然”读后续写 $