周10-3-Wednesday 考场作文研析（课件PPT）-高中英语提分写作周周赢应用文+读后续写（高中通用）

这是一份高中英语同步教学课件，聚焦Week 10思辨类与“志愿服务”读后续写，包含动作描写细化微技能、2022浙江高考真题分析、四步续写提分步骤及范文示例，为学生构建从基础技能到真题应用的学习支架。 资料特色融合核心素养，语言能力上通过动作链分解（如“抓钥匙-关门-锁门”）、修饰成分添加提升表达精准，思维品质上引导分析“志愿服务”中情感变化（从scared到sympathetic）培养思辨，文化意识渗透社会责任感。实例丰富如真题情节衔接、范文情感升华，能帮助学生提升读后续写能力，为教师提供系统教学方案。高三学生可借高考真题强化应试，高一高二学生能夯实语言与思维基础。

Wednesday　考场作文研析 第 1 页 Week 10　思辨类&“志愿服务”读后续写 读后续写微技能10　4类细化表达　优化动作描写 在读后续写中,准确具体的动作描写使人物栩栩如生。1.把笼统的动作分解成几个细节动作,构成动作链,如把锁门分解为抓住钥匙→关上门→锁门:With one great leap, Harry managed to grab the key, slam the door, and lock it.2.添加修饰成分,如副词、介词短语、非谓语动词或with复合结构等。如“A pale young man made his way forward, very nervously.”这句话中就添加了表情感的副词。3.融合多种描写,描写人物动作时,兼顾神态、声音、心理、情感等描写,更生动地推动情节发展。如 第 1 页 Week 10　思辨类&“志愿服务”读后续写 “He hurried out from behind the bar, rushed toward Harry and seized his hand, tears in his eyes.”这句话中就使用了三连动作链和神态描写。可套用公式sb. did A, did B and did C或sb. did A and did B, doing C。4.描写人物肢体动作并具体描写跑、走、笑、哭、看等动作,如用pace, stagger, limp, throw a hateful look at, keep one’s eyes on, lift one’s eyes, give sb. a wink等生动具体的词汇代替walk, see, watch, look at, notice等表“走”或“看”的笼统的词汇。(见附录) 第 1 页 Week 10　思辨类&“志愿服务”读后续写 好题探索　(2022·浙江高考) 　　阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。 I needed to do something in my community in order to complete the community service hours required to graduate from high school. Some of my friends had signed up to spend time at a soup kitchen, so I did, too. It seemed like a good thing to do. →不了解(为了完成社区服务) 第 1 页 Week 10　思辨类&“志愿服务”读后续写 I thought that we would just be passing out dinners to those in need, but I found out we would be doing everything from preparing to serving the dinner.① We began preparing the food, from mixing salad dressing to separating frozen meat. Much still needed to be done before dinner was served, but already outside the building many homeless people were gathering.② It wasn’t until a couple of hours later that we opened the doors and began serving dinner. →所为(准备食物,调制沙拉,分离冻肉) 第 1 页 Week 10　思辨类&“志愿服务”读后续写 As the line of people came toward me, I got a little scared.④ I’d come face to face with the homeless: How should I act? How would they treat me? Would they hate me for having more than they did? While some of the people looked very friendly, some of them looked so dangerous.⑤ I didn’t have too much time to worry about it. I was assigned to serve the salad with the lady next to me. She smiled at me and said if I needed help, she’d be right there, which I found quite comforting.⑥ 第 1 页 Week 10　思辨类&“志愿服务”读后续写 I had never seen so many people wanting food. They were of all ages and nationalities. Most of them wore clothes that were torn and dirty. Some looked like they had totally given up on life, while others seemed to be making the best of the situation, smiling and joking.③ Some were better off than others, but they all needed a good meal and a warm place to eat. It saddened me to think of how many people there were who didn’t have a place to call home and the only food they got came from a soup kitchen.⑦ →所见(源源不断的流浪者排着队等着食物。他们有的衣衫褴褛,有的亲切友善,有的面露凶相,或目光呆滞,或苦中作乐),了解、参与服务 第 1 页 Week 10　思辨类&“志愿服务”读后续写 注意:1.续写词数应为150个左右;2.请按如下格式在以下位置作答。 　　As they came in my direction, I put on my brightest and happiest smile. 　　I was so happy that I had earned my service hours in this way. 请参考附录二~六 第 1 页 Week 10　思辨类&“志愿服务”读后续写 提分步骤1　读原文　理基本要素和2情线 Who I, the lady, the homeless people When before graduation Where in my community What 为完成毕业所需的社区服务,“我”去做了义工。 第 1 页 Week 10　思辨类&“志愿服务”读后续写 理2情线 第 1 页 Week 10　思辨类&“志愿服务”读后续写 提分步骤2　思续写情节　“以旧带新”2原则(“321”原则——3衔接、2过渡、1主题;“CARE”原则——coherence, action, response, emotion) Para. 1　As they came in my direction, I put on my brightest and happiest smile. ◆衔接1　衔接首句中的“当他们朝我走来时,我露出了最灿烂、最开心的笑容”:“我”开始忐忑地分发食物。 ◆过渡句1　无家可归者的表现(看起来危险的人其实特别友好)让“我”放下戒备之心(协同原文第三段中自己的几个疑问)→在服务的过程中,the lady一直协助“我”,给了“我”很多的帮助。 第 1 页 Week 10　思辨类&“志愿服务”读后续写 ◆衔接2　尾句衔接第二段首句“我很高兴我用这种方式获得了服务时间”:社区服务进展顺利,“我”开始享受社区活动。 Para. 2　I was so happy that I had earned my service hours in this way. ◆衔接3　衔接首句“我很高兴我用这种方式获得了服务时间”:简单回顾并对这样的社区服务持肯定态度(与happy协同)。 ◆过渡句2　“我”主动和无家可归者交流→对他们的看法和情感的变化(不再害怕)。 第 1 页 Week 10　思辨类&“志愿服务”读后续写 ◆结尾+主题　(协同原文提到的the lady)+主题升华:“我”与the lady创建了慈善小组,去更好地帮助无家可归者。点出公益服务的深层意义。 提分步骤3　思伏笔巧协同　原续更融洽 捕捉原文所设伏笔,合理协同衔接,以使续写段落在逻辑和内容上与原文高度融洽。 第 1 页 Week 10　思辨类&“志愿服务”读后续写 原文伏笔点 过渡句中可与伏笔协同的细节 人设协同 Para. 1　had signed up to spend time at a soup kitchen Para. 2　I thought that we would just be passing out dinners→对社区服务的态度 Para. 4　It saddened me to think of ... who didn’t have a place to call home and the only food they got came from a soup kitchen.→“我”的同理心和怜悯 第一段协同描写“我”态度的另一个转变:“我”开始喜欢社区服务。 第二段协同描写“我”呼吁或主动组织大家参与社区服务。 Para. 3　I was assigned to serve the salad with the lady next to me. She smiled at me and said if I needed help, she’d be right there, which I found quite comforting.→忙前忙后,微笑待人 第一段可协同描写the lady对“我”的帮助。 第二段可协同描写“我”对the lady的感谢。 第 1 页 Week 10　思辨类&“志愿服务”读后续写 情节协同 Para. 2　We began preparing the food, from mixing salad dressing to separating frozen meat. 第一段协同描写发放肉三明治。 Para. 3　I’d come face to face with the homeless: How should I act? How would they treat me? Would they hate me for having more than they did?→“我”心中的顾虑:如何表现?会被如何对待?无家可归者是否会为难“我”? 第一段交代“我”消除了心中的顾虑,改变了态度。 Para. 3　While some of the people looked very friendly, some of them looked so dangerous. 第二段协同描写看似危险的人其实很友好。 Para. 1　I needed to do something in my community in order to complete the community service hours required to graduate from high school. 第二段应协同交代“我”完成社区服务,顺利毕业。 第 1 页 Week 10　思辨类&“志愿服务”读后续写 主题 协同 原文提及从对社区服务的“不了解”到“了解”,结合首段中的“It seemed like a good thing to do.”,暗示这次社区服务对“我”的积极影响 第二段可协同描写a good thing;尾句可协同描写“我”组织活动帮助无家可归者。 第 1 页 Week 10　思辨类&“志愿服务”读后续写 提分步骤4　协同原文语言　写3好表达(准确、丰富、地道) 1.并列句(原文①②③)。2.从句,如状语从句、定语从句和宾语从句(原文④⑤⑥⑦) 描写“我”的社区服务经历,并推动情节发展。 (提示:续写范文Version 2见答案) 第 1 页 Week 10　思辨类&“志愿服务”读后续写 Version 2 　　As they came in my direction, I put on my brightest and happiest smile. I truly hoped my smile could be some of the comfort. To my relief, some of them smiled politely back at me when they saw my smile, and I could see the exhaustion in some people’s eyes (看到一些人眼中的疲惫). I wanted to know what they were going through and I was desperate to know what I could do for them. They nodded gratefully as I pushed my spoon into the pot and took a large spoonful (舀了一大勺) and poured it into their bowls. Helped by the lady, the work went smoothly (顺利进行). 第 1 页 Week 10　思辨类&“志愿服务”读后续写 I was so happy that I had earned my service hours in this way. It was more than a good thing to do. What I got was a precious experience of a deep dip into society, learning more about those needy people. And I came to the realization that (意识到) the poor were also friendly. Although some of them might appear dangerous sometimes, they still left saying a “thank you” when taking the food, which was so comforting to me. Hopefully, in the near future, our community’s soup kitchen would not only just serve food to feed their stomachs, but also offer “soup” to feed their souls. 第 1 页 Week 10　思辨类&“志愿服务”读后续写 完成《核心默练》10分钟 随堂微练10 第 1 页 Week 10　思辨类&“志愿服务”读后续写 $