Week 16 Thursday 巧学续写微技能（课件PPT）-高中英语提分写作周周赢读后续写（高中通用）

这是一份高中英语同步教学课件，围绕“人与动物”主题，以2023浙江首考“拯救蜂鸟”续写题为例，构建从原文要素梳理到续写微技能（如“321”“CARE”原则）、伏笔协同、语言表达训练的完整学习支架。 资料特色鲜明，融合核心素养，语言能力上协同原文动作链和非谓语动词提升表达，思维品质通过伏笔分析表（如蜂鸟“bright eyes”“hovering”动作）培养逻辑，文化意识渗透人与自然和谐主题，学习能力提供“问题-主题-情节”结构化方法。真题实例具体，微技能可操作性强，助力学生提升续写得分，为教师提供高效教学资源。高三学生面临升学考试，该资料针对高考续写题型，能帮助学生掌握解题策略，提升应试能力。

Week 16 人与动物(二) Thursday　巧学续写微技能 第 ‹#› 页 Week 16　人与动物(二) 好题探索　拯救蜂鸟　(2023·浙江首考) 阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。 I was invited to a cookout on an old friend’s farm in western Washington. I parked my car outside the farm and walked past a milking house which had apparently not been used in many years. A noise at a window caught my attention, so I entered it.⑥ It was a hummingbird (蜂鸟), desperately trying to escape. She was covered in spider-webs (蛛网) and was barely able to move her wings. She ceased her struggle the instant I picked her up. ⑧ 第 ‹#› 页 Week 16　人与动物(二) With the bird in my cupped hand, I looked around to see how she had gotten in. The broken window glass was the likely answer. I stuffed a piece of cloth into the hole and took her outside, closing the door securely behind me.① When I opened my hand, the bird did not fly away; she sat looking at me with her bright eyes.② I removed the sticky spider-webs that covered her head and wings. Still, she made no attempt to fly. Perhaps she had been struggling against the window too long and was too tired? Or too thirsty? As I carried her up the blackberry-lined path toward my car where I kept a water bottle, she began to move.⑨ I stopped, and she soon took wing but did 第 ‹#› 页 Week 16　人与动物(二) not immediately fly away.⑦ Hovering (悬停), she approached within six inches of my face.③ For a very long moment, this tiny creature looked into my eyes, turning her head from side to side.④ Then she flew quickly out of sight. During the cookout, I told my hosts about the hummingbird incident. They promised to fix the window. As I was departing, my friends walked me to my car. I was standing by the car when a hummingbird flew to the center of our group and began hovering. She turned from person to person until she came to me. She again looked directly into my eyes, then let out a squeaking call and 第 ‹#› 页 Week 16　人与动物(二) was gone.⑤ For a moment, all were speechless. Then someone said,“She must have come to say goodbye.” 注意:1.续写词数应为150个左右;2.请按如下格式在以下位置作答。 　　A few weeks later, I went to the farm again. I was just about to leave when the hummingbird appeared. (请参考素材16,素材9,素材10,高分句式1-55,附录二-三) 第 ‹#› 页 Week 16　人与动物(二) 理6要素 ①Who I, hummingbird, my hosts, my friends ②When during a cookout ③Where on an old friend’s farm ④What I saved a hummingbird trapped in spider-webs. 第 ‹#› 页 Week 16　人与动物(二) ⑤Problem 蜂鸟被救助后竟然回来向“我”道别 ⑥Theme 救助动物、人与自然和谐相处 第 ‹#› 页 Week 16　人与动物(二) 微技能1　读原文和首句　理2情线 第 ‹#› 页 Week 16　人与动物(二) 微技能2　思续写情节　“以旧带新”2原则(“321”原则——3衔接、2过渡、1主题;“CARE”原则——coherence, action, response, emotion) Para. 1　A few weeks later, I went to the farm again. ◆衔接1　衔接首句中的“再次来到农场”:“我”在农场做什么(协同原文,主人许诺补窗户,可写下车检查窗户)? ◆过渡句1　窗户上的洞是否已修好?→看着房子想起蜂鸟,想知道蜂鸟的情况。 ◆衔接2　尾句衔接段二首句中的“我刚要走”:“我”要驱车离开。(没看到蜂鸟,有些失落、担心) 第 ‹#› 页 Week 16　人与动物(二) Para. 2　I was just about to leave when the hummingbird appeared. ◆衔接3　衔接首句中的“蜂鸟出现了”:“我”激动地喊出来,蜂鸟如何回应? ◆过渡句2　蜂鸟的表现、动作等→“我”看到蜂鸟安然无恙后的高兴和如释重负。 ◆结尾+主题　“我”的感想或升华:人与自然和谐相处。 第 ‹#› 页 Week 16　人与动物(二) 微技能3　思伏笔巧协同　原续更融洽 捕捉原文所设伏笔,充盈细节并合理协同,以使续写情节围绕主题,且在逻辑、内容上更符合原文基调。 第 ‹#› 页 Week 16　人与动物(二) 可协同处 原文伏笔(线索) 续写部分协同设置 人设的 协同 Para.3 she sat looking at me with her bright eyes Para.5 Hovering (悬停), she approached within six inches of my face. Para.6 She again looked directly into my eyes, then let out a squeaking call 段二可描写蜂鸟飞到“我”面前、悬停在空中的动作,蜂鸟的眼睛和叫声等 第 ‹#› 页 Week 16　人与动物(二) 情节的 协同 Para.1 walked past a milking house which had apparently not been used Para.2 The broken window glass was the likely answer. I stuffed a piece of cloth into the hole Para.6 They promised to fix the window. 段一可写记得朋友的许诺,走进废弃的挤奶屋,查看这个洞是否已修好 物的协同 milking house, blackberry path 段一可写进入屋子,看着黑莓小路 第 ‹#› 页 Week 16　人与动物(二) 微技能4　协同原文语言特点　写3好表达(准确、丰富、地道) 原文语言特点　1.动作链、简单句、非谓语动词(原文①②③④⑤)描写动作。2.并列句(原文⑥⑦)。3.时间状语从句、定语从句(原文⑧⑨)推动情节发展。 续写第一段(场景1 想念蜂鸟查看窗户　场景2 见窗补好担忧蜂鸟　场景3 失落离开) 场景1　想念蜂鸟查看窗户(时间状语从句过渡) 第 ‹#› 页 Week 16　人与动物(二) 1.当我的车靠近农场时,我的思绪又回到了我从蜘蛛网中救出蜂鸟的那一刻。(“无灵”主语句) As my car neared it when I rescued the hummingbird from spider-webs. 场景3　失落离开 2.我既担忧又失落,走回车前。(形容词短语作状语) 　　　　　　　　　　　　　, I walked back to my car.  my thoughts wandered back to the moment Worried and disappointed 第 ‹#› 页 Week 16　人与动物(二) 16 续写第二段(场景4 见到蜂鸟的惊喜　场景5 蜂鸟的感激　场景6 倍感欣慰) 场景5　蜂鸟的感激 3.小鸟看起来很健康,她慢慢落在我右肩上,轻轻地吻了我一下,好像在感谢我救了她一命。 Appearing to be sound, this little bird _______________________________________ and gave me a gentle kiss as if appreciating saving her life. slowly landed on my right shoulder 第 ‹#› 页 Week 16　人与动物(二) 场景6　倍感欣慰 4.看着这只满怀感激的生物,我如释重负。 Gazing at the grateful creature, I ______________________. 吸睛结尾句 总结式 5.许多年过去了,但那依然是一个让我铭记于心的美好时刻。 Many years passed, but it was a wonderful moment that would always _________________. felt a wave of relief stick in my mind 第 ‹#› 页 Week 16　人与动物(二) 画面定格式 6.夕阳西下,在农场上洒下一片温暖的光辉,蜂鸟飞走了,带走了我心中的一部分。 The sun was setting, 　　　　a warm glow over the farm as the hummingbird 　　　　　　　　　, 　　　　a piece of my heart away.  主题升华式 casting flew away taking 第 ‹#› 页 Week 16　人与动物(二) 7.主人拿出手机,定格住这温馨的瞬间。这一瞬间提醒我们,我们应关注生物并意识到我们的行为对它们的影响。 The host took out his phone and froze the cozy moment, which 　　　　　　　　　that we should be mindful of living things and appreciate the impact of our actions on them.  served as a reminder 第 ‹#› 页 Week 16　人与动物(二) A few weeks later, I went to the farm again. As my car neared it my thoughts wandered back to the moment when I rescued the hummingbird from spider-webs. I rushed to the deserted milking house. It was a great comfort that the original hole in the window was nowhere to be found. As I stared at the same house and the same blackberry path, various thoughts about the bird crowded in. Would the hummingbird be the same? Would she be trapped in some other spider-webs? Worried and disappointed, I walked back to my car. I was just about to leave when the hummingbird appeared. I couldn't help 第 ‹#› 页 Week 16　人与动物(二) exclaiming in delight, “It must be YOU!” Amazingly, she responded with a familiar squeaking call! She hovered gracefully within inches of my face, looking at me with her bright eyes. Appearing to be sound, this little bird slowly landed on my right shoulder and gave me a gentle kiss as if appreciating saving her life. Gazing at the grateful creature, I felt a wave of relief. Many years passed, but it was a wonderful moment that would always stick in my mind. 第 ‹#› 页 Week 16　人与动物(二) 原文续写语料积累 ①　　　　　　　　 窝起的手　　 ②　　　　　　　　 　　　　 把头从一边转到另一边  ③　　　　　　　　 把……塞进 ④　　　　　　　　　　　　 发出尖叫声  ⑤　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　我一抓起她,她就停止了挣扎。  cupped hand turn one’s head from side to side　 stuff ... into let out a squeaking call She ceased her struggle the instant I picked her up. 第 ‹#› 页 Week 16　人与动物(二) $