内容正文:
高二英语读后续写 —— 动作描写 “点 - 线 - 面”
MISS WEI
目录
01
导入
04
面
03
线
02
点
一、学习目标
1.理解 “情感驱动动作,动作反映情感” 的关系,优化“机器人式” 动作描写
2.掌握 “点 - 线 - 面” 三维动作描写法,能精准、连贯、有情感地描写动作
3.能运用所学技巧完成简单读后续写微场景创作
课堂导入
二
Lead-in:发现问题,明确核心
1. 学生习作诊断
请判断以下两个句子,哪组更能体现人物情感?(在括号内打 “√”)
•① He cried.( )
•② Hearing that, he broke down and couldn’t resist shedding tears.( )
2. 核心关系推导
What is the relationship between emotions and actions?
结合上述例子思考:Emotions(情感)与 Actions(动作)的关系是?
Emotions drive actions.(情感驱动动作);
Actions reflect emotions.(动作反映情感)
3. 关键问题
那么要写出 “有情感、有画面” 的动作,第一步要做什么?
How to describe actions vividly?
→ Make good use of body parts.(善用身体部位)
因为“Body can speak.(身体会说话)”
“点 - 线 - 面” 三维升级法
三、专项学习:
精准打击
01 点
Think
Which body parts can you use to describe physical movements and express emotions?
mouth\hand\eye\feet
ose
从喜怒哀悲方面,头脑风暴每种情绪有怎样的肢体动作?
喜:咧嘴笑😄
怒:目瞪圆😠
哀:眼低眸😔
悲:眼流泪😭
播放视频
第一招:点・精准打击 —— 告别 “说、走、看、哭”
say→ murmur(低语)
walk→dash(猛冲)
look→gaze(凝视)
cry→weep/burst into tears (哭泣)
核心秘诀1:
每个身体部位(手、眼、嘴、腿)储备 3-5 个 “精准动词”,替换笼统动词(say/walk/look/cry)。
2. 精准动词积累表(补充 + 拓展)
身体部位 笼统动词 精准动词 + 动作短语 中文释义
嘴 say murmur(低语)、whisper(耳语)、exclaim(惊呼) 小声说、悄悄说、大声喊
腿 walk dash(猛冲)、stroll(漫步)、tiptoe(踮脚走) 快速冲、慢慢走、踮脚走
眼 look gaze(凝视)、glance(瞥一眼)、stare(盯着看) 专注看、快速瞥、盯着看
手 touch pat(轻拍)、clench(紧握)、stroke(轻抚) 轻轻拍、紧紧握、温柔摸
脸 show frown(皱眉)、grin(咧嘴笑)、beam(眉开眼笑) 皱眉头、咧嘴笑、眉开眼笑
“笼统动词别直接用,精准动词来替换;
手眼嘴腿各储备,动作描写不空洞!”
3. 肢体动作专项填写任务(12 分钟)——读后续写小人儿
网页展示
动作描写词块积累
1.raise the eyebrow 挑眉
2. wear a frown 皱眉
3. widen the eyes in shock吃惊地瞪大眼睛
4. with tears welling up in the eyes泪水涌动
5. take a deep breath深呼吸
6. force a smile 强颜欢笑
7. let out a sharp cry of surprise 发出尖锐的惊呼声
8. pat me gently on the shoulder轻轻拍我的肩
9. have your arms crossed in front of your chest双臂抱在胸前
10. thumb up at me对我竖起大拇指
11.clap the hands 拍手,鼓掌
12.open up the tightly clenched fists 松开紧握的双拳
13.stomp the feet 跺脚
14.pace back and forth 来回踱步
读后续写小人儿
使用说明:本链接是配套读后续写动作描写——点线面这一课件当中展示“读后续写小人儿”使用,旨在生动形象地展示肢体动作,使学生直观地感受与记忆动作描写的词块,老师们点击本课件第16页网页链接进去之后,点击对应的词块,小人儿便可做出对应的动作。
(祝大家使用愉快,仅供日常教学使用,谢谢!)
3. 肢体动作专项填写任务(12 分钟)——读后续写小人儿
动作链的构建
02 线
第二招:线・串联成链 —— 告别 “然后… 然后…(...and....)”
核心秘诀2:
用 3 个 “黄金句式” 串联多个动作,让动作连贯有逻辑,避免生硬堆砌。
公式1: 动作1, (动作2), and/as/before/after 动作3
或主语+谓语动词1+谓语动词2+谓语动词3
She opened the box, took out the letter and read it carefully.
她打开盒子,拿出信,仔细读了起来
第二招:线・串联成链 —— 告别 “然后… 然后…(...and....)”
公式 2:主语+谓语动词1(+谓语动词2),非谓语动词1(+非谓语动词2)
非谓语动词1(+非谓语动词2),主语+谓语动词1(+谓语动词2)
They jumped in bare feet,laughing and teasing.
他们光着脚跳着,笑着闹着。
Seeing the disappointed boy,I felt my heart was broken and determined to change the situation.
看到这个失望的男孩,我觉得我的心都碎了,决心改变这种情况。
第二招:线・串联成链 —— 告别 “然后… 然后…(...and....)”
公式三:主语+谓语动词,with的复合结构/独立主格
He ran to the bus stop, with his schoolbag flapping behind him.
他朝公交站跑去,书包在身后晃荡。
David rose to his feet and walked towards the finishing line,a determined look on his face(独立主格)/with a determined look on his face(with的复合结构).
大卫站起来,走向终点线,脸上带着坚定的表情。
细化任务:句式仿写 + 微场景应用(15 分钟)
任务 1:句式仿写(基础层)
用 3 个公式改写简单句 “I went to the park.”
公式 1:I put on my coat, picked up my bag and went to the park.
公式 2:Feeling bored, I put on my coat and went to the park.
公式 3:I went to the park, with a dog following me.
•任务 2:微场景写作(进阶层)
场景:“早上迟到,匆忙赶往教室”,按步骤完成:
① 列出 3 个关键动作:
抓起书包(grab the schoolbag)
冲出家门(rush out of the house)
跑进教室(run into the classroom)
② 选 1 个公式串联动作:
③ 写出完整句子:
参考范例
公式 1 示例
英文:I grabbed my schoolbag, rushed out of the house and ran into the classroom.中文:我抓起书包,冲出家门,跑进了教室。
公式 2 示例
英文:Seeing the late clock, I grabbed my schoolbag and ran into the classroom, breathing fast.中文:看到时钟显示迟到了,我抓起书包跑进教室,呼吸急促。
公式 3 示例
英文:I rushed out of the house and ran into the classroom, with my bag swinging.中文:我冲出家门跑进教室,书包晃来晃去。
3. 实战小练:微场景写作
微场景:上课前,今天轮到我当单词讲解员,但是我害怕被同学嘲笑,心里觉得有些尴尬,不敢站起来。得到老师的鼓励后,我积极面对困难,战胜自我,最后赢得了同学们的掌声。
补全要求:用至少 1 个 “线” 公式,结合 2-3个“点” 的精准动词。
示例开头:It was my turn to explain words today, but I was afraid of being laughed at by my classmates. I sat on my seat, fingers clenching the textbook tightly, my face burning with embarrassment...
你的补全:______
3. 实战小练:微场景写作
中文翻译参考:
1) 我皱着眉,如坐针毡。
2) 老师拍拍我的肩膀,对我点点头。
3) 我深呼吸,鼓起勇气站了起来。(gather one’s courage)
4) 我做到了,松开了紧握的双拳,非常开心。
5) 同学们发出尖锐的欢呼声,对我竖起了大拇指。
One possible version
With a frown on my face,I felt like sitting on pins and needles. My teacher patted me gently on the shoulder, nodding at me. Taking a deep breath, I gathered my courage and stood up. Overwhelmed with great joy, I got it right, opening up the tightly clenched fists. My classmates let out a sharp cry of surprise, thumbing up at me, a wave of pride flooding over me.
动作面
03 面
第三招:面 · 融情于景 告别单调的动作描述
秘诀3:让动作变成动作Plus!:
+语言: He nodded, "I believe you can make it." (动作+语言)
+情感: She accepted the award, her eyes filled with excitement. (动作+情感/外貌)
+心理: I tiptoed, wondering if it was safe. (动作+心理)
+环境: The bus left, its taillights disappearing into the night. (动作+环境)
局部
整体
3
2
1
Emotions
Dialogues
Inner thought
4
动作面=动作+情感,环境,语言,心理等
Surroundings
动作面=动作+
Actions
记忆口诀:我有许多好主意(ideas) !
30
主语+谓语(动作A),说的内容(使用非谓语)
He rushed away immediately.
他大声地喊(shout):“谁能来救救我啊?”
He rushed away immediately, shouting loudly, “Who could help me?”
His father patted him on the shoulder, saying jokingly, “Hey, why not try your favorite ice cream and celebrate?”
他的父亲拍了拍他的肩膀,开玩笑地说:“嘿,为什么不尝尝你最喜欢的冰淇淋庆祝一下呢?”
1. Action Scene ——Dialogues description(语言描写)
1. Action Scene ——Dialogues description(语言描写)
说的表达方式:Sb said/replied/answered(各种说) in a/an+情绪形容词+ voice/tone
例句:
英文:She replied in an excited voice when she saw the small gift on the desk.看到桌上的小礼物,她惊讶地回应道。
英文:Tom said in a gentle tone “Don’t cry.”汤姆温柔地说道:”别哭了“。
英文:My mom answered in an angry voice when I forgot to finish my homework.我忘了做作业,妈妈生气地回应道。
2. Action Scene —Inner thought(心理描写)
心理活动表达:主语+谓语(动作A),and couldn’t help thinking(忍不住想)/made up one’s mind(下定决心)/said to oneself(对自己说)
He rushed away immediately and couldn’t help thinking, “I can win the race.”
He fixed his eyes on the finish line forward, and made up his mind/said to himself , “I can win the race.”
“我能赢得这场比赛。”他下定决心/他对自己说,眼睛紧盯着前方的终点线。
3. Action Scene —Emotions(情绪描写)
情绪表达:主语+谓语(动作A),使用独立主格结构或者With 复合结构
He cried scaredly and loudly ,tears rolling down.
He cried scaredly and loudly with tears rolling down.
或者with + 情绪名词
with excitement/amazement/joy/ anger/sadness
3. Action Scene —Emotions(情绪描写)
英文:She opened the birthday card with joy.中文:她带着喜悦打开了生日贺卡。
英文 “He waved goodbye to his friend with sadness.”他带着悲伤挥手送别朋友。
英文:Lisa looked at her messy room with anger.中文:莉萨带着愤怒看着自己乱糟糟的房间。
英文:The children ran to the playground with excitement.中文:孩子们带着兴奋冲向了操场。
4. Action Scene —Surroundings(环境描写)
环境描写+主人公的情感/动作态度描写,做到情景交融
1. 喜(欢快、愉悦)
英文:Sunshine smiled, birds singing softly as she jumped.
中文:阳光明媚,鸟儿轻唱,她蹦蹦跳跳着。
英文:Warm breeze danced, flowers nodding when they hugged.
中文:暖风轻舞,花儿颔首,他们相拥在一起。
2. 怒(愤怒、暴躁)
英文:Wild wind roared, dark clouds gathering as he shouted.
中文:狂风怒吼,乌云密布,他厉声呵斥着。
英文:Hot sun blazed, dust swirling when she stamped her foot.
中文:烈日灼灼,尘土飞扬,她用力跺着脚。
4. Action Scene —Surroundings(环境描写)
3. 悲(悲伤、失落)
英文:Light rain drizzled, leaves falling slowly as she cried.
中文:细雨绵绵,落叶飘零,她低声啜泣着。
英文:Cold wind sighed, silence hanging when he turned away.
中文:寒风呜咽,寂静笼罩,他转身离去。
4. 烦(烦躁、焦躁)
英文:Cicadas buzzed loudly, hot air sticking as she paced.
中文:蝉鸣聒噪,热气黏腻,她来回踱步着。
英文:Doorbells rang nonstop, noise buzzing when he frowned.
中文:门铃不停作响,噪音嘈杂,他皱起眉头。
5. 闷(郁闷、压抑)
英文:No wind breathed, gray sky pressing as she sat still.
中文:无风无息,天空灰暗压抑,她静静坐着。
英文:Thick fog hung, air heavy when he stared into distance.
中文:浓雾弥漫,空气沉闷,他凝望远方。
“点 - 线 - 面” 三维升级
04 综合运用
一、喜(愉悦场景)
英文
Sunshine smiled, birds singing as she grinned, grabbed her friend’s hands, pulled her close and hugged tightly. With joy, she beamed, thumbing up and murmuring in a joyful voice: “We made it!” She couldn’t help thinking, “Finally, we succeeded!”
中文
阳光明媚,鸟儿轻唱,她咧嘴笑,攥住朋友的手,拉近身紧紧相拥。带着喜悦,她眉开眼笑,竖起大拇指,用欢快的声音低语:“我们做到了!”她忍不住想:“终于,我们成功了!”
二、怒(暴躁场景)
英文
Wild wind roared, dark clouds gathering as he frowned, clenched his fists, stomped his feet and screamed. With anger, he stared, said in an angry voice: “Who broke the vase?” He said to himself, “I must find out!”
中文
狂风怒吼,乌云密布,他皱起眉、紧握双拳、用力跺脚,厉声呵斥。带着愤怒,他怒视着,用生气的声音说:“谁打碎了花瓶?” 他对自己说:“我一定要查清楚!”
三、悲(失落场景)
英文
Light rain drizzled, leaves falling as she wept, drooped her shoulders, clutched the letter and wiped tears. With tears welling up in her eyes, she whispered in a sad tone: “Goodbye.” She couldn’t help thinking, “I’ll miss him so much.”
中文
细雨绵绵,落叶飘零,她低声啜泣、耷拉着肩膀、紧攥信件、擦拭泪水。眼里泪水涌动,她用悲伤的语气低语:“再见了。” 她忍不住想:“我会特别想念他的。”
四、烦(焦躁场景)
英文
Cicadas buzzed, hot air sticking as he paced back and forth, forced a smile and clenched his jaws. With anxiety, he frowned and muttered in an annoyed tone: “Why is it so hard?” He made up his mind, “I have to keep trying.”
中文
蝉鸣聒噪,热气黏腻,他来回踱步、强颜欢笑、紧咬牙关。带着烦躁,他皱起眉,用烦躁的语气嘟囔:“怎么这么难?” 他下定决心:“我必须继续试。”
Summary: 从一个干瘪的“跑run”字,到“He dashed toward the finish line, his lungs burning and heart pounding, determined to win.” 你的描写将瞬间拥有了立体感!
Scene : 学生们第五节课快下课时准备吃午饭的场景。
环境:第五节还剩 5 分钟,食堂的饭香飘进教室。
动作:学生们伸长脖子使劲嗅,他们闻到了食堂飘来的饭菜香味。
语言:一个学生着急地敲着笔(情绪 + 动作),小声嘟囔道:“放学铃怎么还不响啊”。
神态:学生赶紧合上笔记本,眼睛还不停往时钟那边瞟。
心理:大家都盯着时钟,心里盼着赶紧下课去吃饭。
所见所闻所想所做所处
Scene : 学生们第五节课快下课时准备吃午饭的场景。
With five minutes left in the lesson, the smell of canteen food drifted into the classroom. Students stretched their necks and caught whiffs of delicious food , their stomachs growling. A girl tapped her pencil impatiently and murmured to herself, “When will the lunch bell ring?”. Some students even quickly closed their notebooks,and their eyes kept darting to the clock. Everyone stared at the clock, hoping to finish class soon and go eat .
THANK YOU !
读后续写肢体动作小人
1. raise the eyebrow 挑眉
2. wear a frown 皱眉
3. widen the eyes in shock 吃惊地瞪大眼睛
4. with tears welling up in the eyes 泪水涌动
5. take a deep breath 深呼吸
7. let out a sharp cry of surprise 发出尖锐的惊呼声
6. force a smile 强颜欢笑
9. have your arms crossed 双臂抱胸
8. pat me gently on the shoulder 轻拍肩膀
12. open up the tightly clenched fists 松开双拳
11. clap the hands 拍手
10. thumb up at me 竖大拇指
13. stomp the feet 跺脚
14. pace back and forth 来回踱步
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