内容正文:
初一上册冀教版
【寒假专版】
E版满分范文及模板
寒假专版
【E版满分范文】自我介绍(外貌/爱好/梦
想)
写作提分攻略+范文深度解析·冀教版初一上册
满分范文
Hello,everyone!My name is Lily.I am a 14-year-old girl.I have long straight hair and big eyes.I am
tall and thin,and many people say I am beautiful.
My favorite hobby is reading books.I think reading can make me learn a lot of things.I also like
listening to music.It makes me relaxed when I am tired
I want to be a teacher in the future.I hope to teach children knowledge and make them happy.So I
study hard every day.I believe my dream will come true one day.
【满分范文逐段解析】
第一段(外貌描写):
开篇用Helo,everyone!亲切自然:
核心句型:My name is../I am...years old,信息清晰简洁;
外貌描写:long straight hair/big eyes/tall and thin使用初一核心词汇:
结尾many people say I am beautiful从他人视角补充评价,避免单调。
第二段(爱好描述):
用My favorite hobby is.…/I also like..分层描述爱好;
每个爱好补充原因:make me learn a lot/makes me relaxed,增加内容深度;
动词搭配:1 eading books/listening to music使用动名词结构准确。
第三段(梦想表达):
用I want to be..明确表达未来梦想:
补充梦想细节:teach children knowledge/make them happy;
行动呼应:study hard every day体现为梦想付出的努力:
结尾I believe my dream will come true积极有力,升华主题。
初一上册冀教版
【寒假专版】
E版满分范文及模板
满分范文模板(我的好朋友)
Hello,everyone.My name is 1.
I have a good friend.His/Her name is 2.
is 4.
years old.He/She is 5.
He/She has 6.
and 7.
He/She always wears 8.
He/She looks very 9.
10.
is a 11.
boy/girl.He/She likes 12.
He/She is also very 13.
When I 14.
he/she always 15.
We often 16.
on weekends
I like my friend very much.We are good friends forever.
【模板填写指南】
1.
你的姓名(如:LiMing/Zhang Hua)
2.朋友的姓名(如:Tom/Lily)
3.填写朋友的姓名(与2一致,如:Tom/Lily)
4.朋友的年龄(如:twelve/thirteen)
5.朋友的国籍/来自哪里(如:from China/from Beijing)
6.朋友的外貌特征1(如:short hair/big eyes)
7.朋友的外貌特征2(如:a round face./small nose)
8.朋友的穿戴(如:a pair of glasses/a red hat)
9.外貌评价(如:cute/handsome/beautiful)
10.填写朋友的姓名(与2一致)
1l.性格形容词(如:friendly/outgoing/quiet)
l2.朋友的爱好(如:reading books/playing basketball)
l3.性格优点(如:kind/hard-working/helpful)
l4.你的场景(如:am sad/need help/have problems)
l5.朋友的行为(如:helps me/talks with me/plays with me)
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初一上册冀教版
【寒假专版】
E版满分范文及模板
16.共同活动(如:play football/read books/go shopping)
填写示例:
1.Li Ming 2.Tom 3.Tom 4.twelve 5.from Beijing 6.short hair
7.big eyes 8.a pair of glasses 9.handsome 10.Tom 11.outgoing
12.playing basketball 13.helpful 14.need help 15.helps me 16.play basketball
高分亮点总结
结构亮点:三段式(外貌→爱好→梦想),逻辑清晰,符合写作要求:
词汇亮点:使用初一核心词汇(long straight hair/reading books/study hard):
句型亮点:用I think./It makes me./I believe..丰富句式层次:
内容亮点:每个段落补充细节(他人评价/爱好原因行动证明),内容充实:
时态亮点:全程使用一般现在时,时态统一规范。
写作小贴士·避坑+提分
句式技巧:简单句为主,用and/but连接,避免复杂从句:
词汇技巧:同一意思换不同表达(Ike/enjoy/love描述爱好):
时态一致:自我介绍全程用一般现在时,不要混用过去时:
细节加分:每个特点补充1句原因/场景,比单纯罗列更易拿高分:
格式规范:开头字母大写,句末加标点,人名首字母大写(如:Ly)。
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