内容正文:
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
It was early morning in July, the air as thick and warm as it always is, and I was preparing for a busy day in the Community Garden, in which there were always butterflies. We had seen a projected high temperature, so we were all hoping to finish our projects before the summer heat kicked in. That particular morning was a Family Service Day, so we had a good supply of helping hands. I was ready to jump in with them if needed, but it was a small group, so I mostly stayed out of the way and took care of my own plot. I focused on the weeds, the potatoes they were hiding, and a mini bell pepper plant that wasn’t doing well. In fact, I focused so hard that I didn’t hear someone coming up behind me.
“Hi, can I help?”
I shifted away from the dirt and plants to see a boy, maybe 8 years old, standing behind me. His jeans ran down into calf-high rubber boots. Whether he had dressed himself or his parents had equipped him for the day, you could tell this kid was serious about getting his hands in the dirt. His little voice didn’t quite match the determination in his eyes. Still, I’d have to be crazy not to accept his help.
I walked him through my plot and shared with him my agenda for the day, and then we got to work. He talked about the garden his parents kept in their backyard as I pulled weeds and he plucked (摘) peppers from a plant that I wanted to harvest. Butterflies flew from one plant to another plant due to our “disturbance”. I learned from our talk that he had two younger sisters, neither of whom were really old enough to work in his parents’ garden yet, and that he knew his way around a garden. He pointed out his parents and we exchanged greetings. It was a special morning, but we had no idea what was in store!
注意:1.续写词数应为150个左右;
2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
As we cleared the weeds he suddenly bent down.
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His kind action to the butterfly affected everything we did for the rest of the morning.
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一、文本分析
1.角色:___________________________________________________________________
2.视角
第 ___________________________ 人称视角
3.时空线
七月清晨(“我”在社区花园准备忙碌一天,恰逢家庭服务日,专注打理自身地块)→ 劳作中(男孩主动上前求助,“我”接纳帮助,两人一同劳作、交谈,蝴蝶因动作飞舞,“我”与男孩父母打招呼)→ 突发转折(男孩弯腰发现蝴蝶相关异常)→ (续写)____________________________________(第一段续写场景:男孩弯腰后对蝴蝶的举动,展现核心特质)→ (续写)__________________________(第二段续写场景:男孩的善意举动影响后续劳作,传递主题)
4.文章线索
(1)“社区花园劳作”与“男孩救助蝴蝶”构成核心情节,这一核心情节对故事发展有何作用?如何推动人物心理变化及主题凸显?
(2)“闷热天气下的忙碌劳作”与“男孩温柔救助蝴蝶”形成场景对比,这一对比为何能强化核心主题?如何让男孩形象更立体?
(3)“男孩主动求助”“熟练打理园艺”“提及家庭花园”“蝴蝶飞舞”这些细节有何意义?它们为后续“男孩救助蝴蝶”做了怎样的铺垫?
(4)故事的情节推进逻辑是什么?从“清晨劳作—相遇互助—日常交谈”,再到后续的“发现蝴蝶—实施救助—善意影响”,情节发展背后凸显了怎样的主题脉络?
5.情节线
七月清晨:天气闷热,“我”在社区花园准备忙碌一天,恰逢家庭服务日,专注打理自身地块(除草、照料作物)→ 劳作中:男孩主动上前求助,“我”接纳帮助,带他熟悉地块、分配任务,两人一同劳作,男孩分享自家花园及妹妹的事,“我”与他父母打招呼,蝴蝶因两人动作飞舞→ 突发转折:男孩弯腰发现蝴蝶相关异常→ (续写)____________________________________________________________
→ (续写)___________________________________________________
6.情感线
“我”:清晨劳作的平静专注→ 面对男孩求助的温和接纳→ 共同劳作的轻松愉悦→ 看到男孩举动后的动容→ ________________________________________
男孩:主动求助的热情坚定→ 劳作中的投入畅快→ 发现蝴蝶后的急切担忧→ 救助时的温柔细心→ ________________________________________
男孩父母:对孩子的支持包容→ _______________________________
7.文章大意概括
中文
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________英文:
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
8.句式示例
宾语从句:
同位语:
状语从句:
比喻:
9.主题归类
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
二、情节构造
第一段提示句:As we cleared the weeds he suddenly bent down.
衔接句 1—— 对 “弯腰后男孩的举动与心理” 提问:男孩内心关注的核心是什么(如蝴蝶的状态、生命的脆弱等)?沉思/行动过程中他会有怎样的心理变化(如从发现异常到主动救助)?
衔接句 2—— 对 “第一段的过渡意义” 提问:第一段如何引出“善意影响后续”的情节?男孩的举动是否会为第二段“劳作方式改变”做铺垫?
过渡逻辑:请说明第一段情节如何为第二段的 “善意影响” 做铺垫:
第二段提示句:His kind action to the butterfly affected everything we did for the rest of the morning.
衔接句 1—— 对 “举手后与老师的互动场景” 提问:男孩的举动后,“我”和周围人会有怎样的反应?两人后续劳作会有哪些具体变化(如动作、交流)?
衔接句 2—— 对 “情节结局与主题升华” 提问:两人的劳作最终会以怎样的场景收尾?男孩的善意会带来怎样的结果(如内心满足、彼此感染)?这一结局如何呼应核心主题?“我”会有怎样的感悟?
主题:
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三、段落构思
第一段:As we cleared the weeds he suddenly bent down.
梳理第一段写作思路:①开篇承接提示句,描写男孩弯腰的状态,点明关注焦点(蝴蝶的异常);②刻画动作、神态细节(如小心翼翼、神情担忧),展现男孩的核心特质;③以“完成初步救助”收尾,引出第二段“善意影响劳作”的情节,展现情节过渡。
续写:
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
第二段:His kind action to the butterfly affected everything we did for the rest of the morning.
梳理第二段写作思路:①开篇承接提示句,描写后续劳作的具体变化(动作、氛围、交流);②刻画“我”与男孩的互动细节,呼应核心主题;③描写收尾场景(如蝴蝶状态、两人感受),升华主题,控制词数适配要求。
续写:
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
参考答案
一、文本分析
1.角色:
“我”:社区花园的参与者,细心且温和,专注于打理自己的地块,乐于接受男孩的帮助,能敏锐感知男孩的善意并被其影响,是故事的叙述者与情节见证者。
男孩(约8岁):热爱园艺、认真执着,眼神中透着坚定,动手能力强且内心柔软善良,对小动物充满怜悯,是“善意”主题的核心承载者。
男孩父母:默默支持孩子参与公益劳动,是男孩良好品格的培育者,虽笔墨不多但烘托出温暖的家庭氛围。
2.视角
第 一 人称视
3.时空线
七月清晨(天气闷热,“我”为社区花园忙碌,恰逢家庭服务日,人手充足,“我”专注打理自己的地块)→ 劳作中(男孩主动上前求助,“我”接纳帮助,两人一同劳作、交谈,了解到男孩的家庭与园艺经验,蝴蝶因两人动作飞舞)→ 突发转折(男孩弯腰发现异常,触发善意行为)→ (续写)男孩对蝴蝶实施救助(第一段续写场景:男孩弯腰后的举动,展现其善良本性)→ (续写)善意的影响(第二段续写场景:男孩的行为改变后续劳作氛围,传递温暖主题)。
4.文章线索
(1)“社区花园劳作”与“男孩救助蝴蝶”构成核心情节,这一情节对故事发展有何作用?如何推动情感变化及主题凸显?
作用:“花园劳作”是故事的背景载体,为男孩与“我”的相遇、互动提供场景;“救助蝴蝶”是情节的转折点,让平淡的劳作场景增添温情,从“日常劳作”升华为“善意传递”,凸显故事内核。推动情感变化:让“我”从专注劳作的平静,转为对男孩举动的好奇,再到被其善意打动,情感层层递进;也让男孩的形象从“能干的小园艺师”丰满为“善良有爱心的孩子”。凸显主题:通过具体的救助行为,将抽象的“善意”具象化,直接凸显“微小善意亦有力量”“温柔对待生命皆有温度”的主题。
(2)“闷热天气下的忙碌劳作”与“男孩温柔救助蝴蝶”形成场景对比,这一对比为何能强化“善意”主题?如何让男孩形象更立体?
强化主题:闷热天气带来的烦躁感、劳作的疲惫感,与男孩救助蝴蝶时的专注、温柔形成鲜明反差,更能凸显男孩善意的纯粹与珍贵——在忙碌疲惫中仍能留意到弱小生命,这份善意更具感染力,让主题更深刻。让形象更立体:男孩既有着适配劳作的坚定、能干(穿雨靴、懂园艺),又有着对待弱小的柔软、温柔,打破了单一的“小帮手”形象,展现出刚柔并济的特质,让人物更真实可感。
(3)“男孩主动求助”“熟练打理园艺”“提及家庭花园”“蝴蝶飞舞”这些细节有何意义?它们为后续“男孩救助蝴蝶”做了怎样的铺垫?
意义:“主动求助”体现男孩的热情与勇敢,为两人互动奠定基础;“熟练打理园艺”说明男孩熟悉植物与自然,为他能敏锐发现蝴蝶异常、懂得如何救助提供合理性;“提及家庭花园”暗示他长期与自然相处,养成了关爱自然生命的习惯;“蝴蝶飞舞”则为后续“救助蝴蝶”的情节埋下伏笔,让突发情节不突兀。铺垫:这些细节暗示男孩与自然的紧密联系,说明他对自然生命的关注并非偶然,而是源于长期的生活积累与内在品格,让“救助蝴蝶”的行为更连贯、更具逻辑性,也让人物品格的展现更自然。
(4)故事的情节推进逻辑是什么?从“清晨劳作—相遇互助—日常交谈”,再到后续的“发现蝴蝶—实施救助—善意影响”,情节发展背后凸显了怎样的主题脉络?
情节推进逻辑:以“社区花园劳作”为线索,从“日常铺垫(清晨忙碌、人手充足)”→“相遇互动(男孩求助、共同劳作、交谈熟悉)”→“情节转折(发现蝴蝶异常、实施救助)”→“主题升华(善意影响后续、传递温暖)”,形成“平淡日常—突发温情—情感延伸”的完整情节链,层层递进传递情感。主题脉络:从“普通的公益劳作”到“意外的生命关怀”,再到“善意的传递与感染”,凸显了“善意藏于细微之处”“生命关怀不分大小”“微小善举能温暖日常”的主题脉络,展现了自然与人性的温柔共鸣。
5.情节线
七月清晨:天气闷热,“我”在社区花园准备忙碌的一天,恰逢家庭服务日,人手充足,“我”专注打理自己的地块(除草、照料作物)→ 劳作中:男孩主动上前求助,“我”接纳帮助,带他熟悉地块、分配任务,两人一同劳作,男孩分享自家花园的事,提及两个妹妹,“我”与他父母打招呼,蝴蝶因两人动作飞舞→ 突发转折:男孩弯腰发现蝴蝶异常→ (续写)救助过程:男孩小心翼翼救助蝴蝶,展现温柔善意→ (续写)善意影响:男孩的行为改变了后续劳作的氛围,“我”与男孩更注重呵护花园里的小生命,度过充满温情的早晨。
6.情感线
“我”:清晨劳作的平静专注→ 面对男孩求助的温和接纳→ 共同劳作的轻松愉悦→ 看到男孩救助蝴蝶的惊讶动容→ 被善意感染后的温柔笃定。男孩:主动求助的热情坚定→ 劳作中的投入畅快→ 发现蝴蝶后的担忧急切→ 救助时的温柔细心→ 完成救助后的释然满足。男孩父母:对孩子的支持包容→ 看到孩子善举后的欣慰。
7.文章大意概括
中文:七月的一个清晨,天气闷热,“我”在社区花园准备开启忙碌的一天,当天是家庭服务日,人手充足,“我”便专注打理自己的地块,除草、照料长势不佳的作物。由于过于专注,“我”没注意到一个约8岁的男孩走到身后,男孩主动提出帮忙,他穿着雨靴,眼神坚定,透着对劳作的认真。“我”带他熟悉地块、分配任务,两人一同劳作,男孩分享了自家有个后花园,还有两个年幼的妹妹,他对园艺很熟悉。劳作间,蝴蝶因两人的动作在花丛中飞舞,“我”还与男孩父母打了招呼,这是一个特别的清晨,而两人都未曾预料到即将发生的温暖小事。
英文:On a hot July morning, I prepared for a busy day in the Community Garden on Family Serve Day. I focused on tending my plot when an 8-year-old boy, dressed in rubber boots and full of determination, offered to help. We worked together, and he shared stories about his family garden and two little sisters. He showed great familiarity with gardening, and butterflies fluttered around as we worked. I greeted his parents, and it was a special morning with an unexpected warm surprise ahead.
8.句式示例
宾语从句:I learned from our talk that he had two younger sisters, neither of whom was really old enough to work in his parents’ garden yet. 状语从句:Whether he had dressed himself or his parents had equipped him for the day, you could tell this kid was serious about getting his hands in the dirt.(让步状语从句) 定语从句:I focused on the weeds, the potatoes they were hiding, and a mini bell pepper plant that wasn’t doing well. 拟人:Butterflies flew from one plant to another plant due to our “disturbance”.(将蝴蝶的飞行拟人化为被“打扰”后的反应,增添生动感)
9.主题归类
善意藏于细微之处,微小的生命关怀能传递温暖力量;人与自然应温柔共处,尊重每一个弱小生命;孩童的纯粹善意具有治愈力,能感染他人、改变日常氛围;公益劳作不仅是付出,更是与美好人性、自然生命的温柔相遇;良好的家庭氛围能培育孩子的善良品格,让关爱成为本能。
二、情节构造
第一段提示句:As we cleared the weeds he suddenly bent down.
衔接句 1—— 对 “弯腰后男孩的举动与心理” 提问:男孩弯腰的原因是什么(如发现受伤蝴蝶、被困蝴蝶)?他会有怎样的反应(如小心翼翼、担忧急切)?动作细节如何体现他的善良?
原因:发现一只翅膀受伤 / 被困在杂草中的蝴蝶。
反应:小心翼翼、担忧急切,屏住呼吸,动作轻柔,生怕弄伤蝴蝶。
善良体现:轻轻拨开杂草、用指尖托住蝴蝶、检查翅膀、尝试帮它整理,全程专注温柔,体现对弱小生命的珍视。
衔接句 2—— 对 “第一段的过渡意义” 提问:第一段如何展现男孩的核心品格?如何为第二段“善意影响后续劳作”做铺垫?
展现核心品格:通过救助蝴蝶的细节,直接展现男孩善良、有爱心、尊重生命的核心品格。
铺垫作用:是。男孩的善举让 “我” 深受触动,改变了原本单纯除草的心态,为后续两人以更温柔的方式劳作、善待花园里的小生命做铺垫。
过渡逻辑:请说明第一段情节如何为第二段的 “善意影响” 做铺垫:第一段通过描写男孩救助蝴蝶的具体动作、神态,具象化其善良本性,让“善意影响”有了情感基础;同时,救助蝴蝶的行为打破了原本单纯的劳作节奏,自然引出后续两人以更温柔的方式对待花园及其中生命,让情节过渡流畅,情感延伸合理。
第二段提示句:His kind action to the butterfly affected everything we did for the rest of the morning.
衔接句 1—— 对 “善意影响的具体体现” 提问:男孩的行为如何改变后续劳作(如动作更轻柔、留意小生命、交流更温情)?“我”会有怎样的呼应行为?
劳作改变:动作更轻柔(不随意踩踏、不粗暴拔草),主动留意小生命(避开蚂蚁、蜗牛、小虫),交流更温情(分享发现、感叹生命美好)。
“我” 的呼应:放慢节奏,和男孩一起保护小生物,用温和的语气交流,主动向男孩学习温柔对待自然。
衔接句 2—— 对 “情节结局与主题升华” 提问:这个充满善意的早晨会以怎样的场景收尾?男孩的善举让“我”有怎样的感悟?如何呼应“温柔对待生命”的核心主题?
收尾场景:花园杂草清理干净,蝴蝶在阳光下尝试振翅,两人坐在一旁静静看着,氛围温暖治愈。
“我” 的感悟:真正的劳作不只是完成任务,更是温柔对待每一个生命,小小的善举能点亮整个过程,也能影响他人。
主题呼应:男孩救助蝴蝶的善举,带动 “我” 一同温柔对待花园生命,用行动诠释 “尊重生命、善待自然”,完美呼应 “温柔对待生命” 的核心主题。
主题:微小的生命关怀能传递温暖,善意藏于细微举动之中;人与自然的温柔共处,能让平凡日常变得更有温度;孩童的纯粹善意具有感染力,能唤醒他人对生命的敬畏与关爱。
三、段落构思
第一段:As we cleared the weeds he suddenly bent down.
梳理第一段写作思路:①开篇承接提示句,说明男孩弯腰的原因(发现受伤/被困蝴蝶);②刻画动作与神态细节(如轻放杂草、小心翼翼捧起蝴蝶、眉头微蹙),体现男孩的温柔与担忧;③描写蝴蝶的状态及男孩的简单救助动作(如拂去翅膀上的泥土、放到阴凉花丛),展现其善良本性,为第二段铺垫情感。
续写:As we cleared the weeds he suddenly bent down. His hands froze mid-air, and his brows furrowed gently. “Look,” he whispered, pointing to a small butterfly with a crumpled wing trapped in the grass. Carefully, he brushed away the dirt around it, then lifted it up with his palms as if holding a fragile treasure. He blew softly on its wing to remove dust, his eyes full of concern. After a moment, he placed it gently on a shaded flower petal, watching quietly to make sure it was safe.
第二段:His kind action to the butterfly affected everything we did for the rest of the morning.
梳理第二段写作思路:①开篇承接提示句,描写后续劳作的变化(动作更轻柔、留意周围小生命);②刻画“我”与男孩的互动细节(如轻声交流、共同呵护花草与小生命);③以温馨场景收尾(如蝴蝶慢慢恢复、两人相视一笑),融入“我”的感悟,升华主题。
续写:His kind action to the butterfly affected everything we did for the rest of the morning. We moved more gently, avoiding disturbing the butterflies and small insects. When plucking peppers, he would first check if any butterfly was resting on the leaves. I found myself smiling as we chatted softly about how beautiful the garden was with these little creatures. By the time we finished, the butterfly had fluttered to a nearby bloom. That morning, we didn’t just tend the garden—we nurtured a warm moment of kindness.
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