内容正文:
标黑加粗斜体(环境描写)可积累文本,绿色衔接点!!黑色块 动词积累或动作串;蓝色(宾从)红色(定从)单下划线(状从);非谓语形式都会标注;其他重点,红色字体为重要单词B-eli-eve in daily accumulation!(注释)! ()
浙江省嘉兴市2024~2025学年第二学期高二期末检测
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
That Tuesday started out just like any other summer day. Mom(人物1)dropped me(人物2) off with Gram and Gramps(人物3,4) before going to work. The morning was already steamy and sticky(环境描写). My shirt was damp against my back.
For the millionth time I wished Gram and Gramps had air conditioning(虚拟语气,强调假设). But if I complained, Gram would just say, “Nonsense to pay an arm and a leg for something(态度描写,可能孩子们在处理这里有问题) people have survived thousands of years without,”
Gram stood at the sink looking cool(现在分词短语做后置定语) while Gramps sat with me at the kitchen table staring at the sports section(现在分词短语做韩遂动作), “Come on, you two, why don't you go sit on the porch so you can feel a light wind?" said Gram, I jumped up, pulling on Gramps's arm(现在分词短语做伴随动作). I didn’t think he had heard Gram.
“George!” Gram rushed to pull her massive husband to his feet. “Are your hearing aids turned up?’ She began digging around in Gramps's ear like she was changing a radio station. Even though Gram liked to act tough, I saw the way she looked after Gramps, like Mom looked after me.
Once we were settled, Gram got us both ice creams(宾补). I laughed as a big drop landed on Gramps's shirt. Gramps chuckled, too. “Your mother will be after me for that.”“You mean my gram," I corrected, I was used to Gramps thinking(现在分词短语做伴随动作) I was Mom(这个有点点悲伤哦). Mom told me Gramps had something in his brain that made him forget things, so he needed extra reminding.I know now it's called Alzheimer.
Gram stepped out as we finished our ice creams. “We're going to take a trip into town to do some shopping," she announced. “Here, Melanie(我的名字?)," she said, handing me the shopping list(现在分词短语做伴随动作), “ You're in charge of the list and telling me what I need.”
Inside the house the phone rang. Gram left her purse with Gramps, instructing him to clean himself up with tissues in it(现在分词短语做伴随动作). Then she disappeared into the house, and Gramps began digging in her purse. When he took out Gram's car key, he smiled.
注意:1.续写词数应为150左右;
2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Paragraph 1: “Why don’t we two go to the store and surprise her? Gramps said to me.
Paragraph 2: Fortunately, Gram and a police officer showed up just in time.
浙江省嘉兴市2024~2025学年第二学期高二期末检测
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
That Tuesday started out just like any other summer day. Mom dropped me off with Gram and Gramps before going to work, The morning was already steamy and sticky. My shirt was damp against my back.
For the millionth time I wished Gram and Gramps had air conditioning. But if I complained, Gram would just say, “Nonsense to pay an arm and a leg for something people have survived thousands of years without,”
Gram stood at the sink looking cool while Gramps sat with me at the kitchen table staring at the sports section, “Come on, you two, why don't you go sit on the porch(门廊)so you can feel a light wind?" said Gram, I jumped up, pulling on Gramps's arm. I didn’t think he had heard Gram.
“George!” Gram rushed to pull her massive husband to his feet. “Are your hearing aids turned up?’ She began digging around in Gramps's ear like she was changing a radio station. Even though Gram liked to act tough, I saw the way she looked after Gramps, like Mom looked after me.
Once we were settled, Gram got us both ice creams. I laughed as a big drop landed on Gramps's shirt, Gramps chuckled(咯咯笑), too. “Your mother will be after me for that.”“You mean my gram," I corrected, I was used to Gramps thinking I was Mom. Mom told me Gramps had something in his brain that made him forget things, so he needed extra reminding.I know now it's called Alzheimer(老年痴呆症).
Gram stepped out as we finished our ice creams, “We're going to take a trip into town to do some shopping," she announced. “Here, Melanie," she said, handing me the shopping list, “ You're in charge of the list and telling me what I need.”
Inside the house the phone rang. Gram left her purse with Gramps, instructing him to clean himself up with tissues in it, Then she disappeared into the house, and Gramps began digging in her purse. When he took out Gram's car key, he smiled.
注意:1.续写词数应为150左右;
2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Paragraph 1: “Why don’t we two go to the store and surprise her? Gramps said to me.
Paragraph 2: Fortunately, Gram and a police officer showed up just in time.
一、读后续写类型判断与构思策略分析
分析维度
内容
题材类型
家庭亲情类+人物成长类+特殊病症背景型(祖孙情、认知障碍、责任意识)
情节类型
现实类日常生活叙事,以突发事件(爷爷擅自驾车)引发情感与行为冲突
写作任务要求
严格承接段首句展开冲突→设计峰值冲突场景(如险情)→在第二段实现冲突缓和与心理成长
构思策略
1. 第一段围绕 Gramps 提议后,Melanie 的心理变化(矛盾、担心、劝阻失败)与随之发生的驾驶事件推进;2. 第二段承接段首句(Gram 和警察及时赶到),描述及时制止行为→交代 Gramps 状态→Melanie 反思成长
续写重点承接
人物设定不变(三人:Gram、Gramps、Melanie);故事场所延续性(房子附近/上车、街区)、时间逻辑连贯(发生在Gram进屋后到她回来)
情感设计
从轻松幽默 → 紧张担忧 → 惊险 → 化解 → 温情回归 → 心理成长(特别是 Melanie 对 Alzheimer 认识深化)
语言重点
包含高考常考加分语法:状语从句、非谓语、强调句型、虚拟语气等,强化情感与动作描写并用
二、故事山结构分析(Story Mountain)
阶段
原文/续写位置
内容设计
开端
原文开头至“他拿出车钥匙”
日常生活场景中揭示 Gramps 的 Alzheimer,家庭温情与冲突埋下伏笔
上升动作
段首句引出事件:Gramps 想开车去给 Gram 惊喜
Melanie 的内心挣扎(犹豫→提醒→担心),Gramps 坚持,二人出门
高潮冲突
Gramps 实际驾驶,引发 Melanie 惊恐/混乱,可能有危险描写
可设计如刮蹭、小转弯摇晃、Melanie 尝试阻止
下降动作
Gram 与警察赶来,及时制止,Gramps 状态迷茫
Gram 与警察温和处置,Gramps有点不知所措
结局
Melanie 内心变化(理解+成长+对家人的珍视)
内省段落 + 对老年病患者更多理解和耐心
三、关键描写与语言线索表格
分析角度
内容分析
原文反应句(选段)
人物刻画
Gramps:健忘、温和、行为失常但善意;Melanie:懂事、有同理心;Gram:强势但关爱
“Your mother will be after me for that.” “You mean my gram,” I corrected.
情感层次
从轻松幽默→感动→担忧→惊恐→释然→理解
“I saw the way she looked after Gramps, like Mom looked after me.”
关键情节点
1. Gramps 拿出车钥匙微笑
2. 驾车准备/行动
3. Gram和警察及时赶到
“When he took out Gram's car key, he smiled.”;段首句提示
语言特色
家庭日常用语、对白自然;动作与心理并列;句式变化多
“She began digging around in Gramps's ear like she was changing a radio station.”
关键词分析
Alzheimer(暗示冲突根源)
ice cream、wind、chuckled(轻松氛围)
car key(冲突线索)
“Mom told me Gramps had something in his brain that made him forget things.”
心理描写
Melanie 的情绪起伏、对家人的担忧与成长可为续写主线
“I didn’t think he had heard Gram.”(暗含不安)
动作描写
Gram掏耳、吃冰淇淋、Gramps翻包、拿钥匙、上车等细节具象生动
“Gramps began digging in her purse. When he took out Gram's car key, he smiled.”
环境描写
热天、门廊、厨房、车内(待续写补充)
“The morning was already steamy and sticky.”、“porch”
隐含主题
对老年病患者的包容与理解、责任与成长、三代亲情
“I was used to Gramps thinking I was Mom.”
情感转折
轻松→突发事件带来惊险(车钥匙/开车)→平安后回归理解
承接“he smiled”→突发行为 → 第二段“Fortunately...”
空间转换
室内厨房→门廊→车内(续写可延展为开车出门片刻)
“We’re going to take a trip into town…”;“he took out car key...”
时间过渡
原文:上午,Gram刚进屋→续写:这段短时间内发生事件(3~5分钟)
原文时间推进暗示:Mom刚上班,Gram进屋,短暂空档
四、续写构思注意事项
分类
具体说明
必须承接
段首句行动线索(Gramps提议惊喜)必须引发下文;不得跳跃人物与事件
人物设定不能变动
不得新增人物;Gramps角色必须忠实于原文Alzheimer表现
冲突设计适度
不可夸张为“车祸”等,但可设计轻度驾驶误入、倒车失败等小险情
语言提升点建议
使用:
1)强调句型:It was then that...
2)非谓语结构:Driven by excitement, he...
3)虚拟语气:If only I had stopped him earlier...
4)情感副词 + 心理动词:Nervously, I pleaded...
结尾建议
可体现:
1)Melanie成长(“Now I understood why Mom worried so much.”)
2)家庭温情升华(“We sat together, ice cream forgotten, hearts warmed.”)
3. 动作、心理、环境描写句(每类10个)
动作描写(Action-based Descriptions)
Gramps fumbled through the purse, his fingers trembling slightly.
(Gramps手指微微颤抖,在包里摸索。)
I tugged at his sleeve, trying to stop him from turning the ignition.
(我拉了拉他的袖子,试图阻止他发动汽车。)
He gripped the steering wheel tightly, eyes squinting at the road ahead.
(他紧握方向盘,眯着眼看着前方的路。)
She rushed out of the door barefoot, panic written all over her face.
(她光着脚冲出门,脸上满是慌张。)
I leaned over, pointing at the grocery store across the street.
(我探过身去,指着街对面的杂货店。)
He patted my head with a shaky hand and smiled gently.
(他用颤抖的手轻轻拍了拍我的头,温柔地笑了。)
I jumped out of the car as soon as it stopped.
(车一停,我立刻跳下去。)
Gramps reached into his pocket, only to find nothing inside.
(Gramps伸手进兜,却发现里面什么也没有。)
She grabbed her umbrella and dashed out into the rain.
(她抓起雨伞冲进雨中。)
I carefully folded the shopping list and placed it in my pocket.
(我小心地把购物清单折好,放进口袋里。)
心理描写(Psychological Descriptions)
A strange feeling twisted in my stomach—half excitement, half fear.
(我胃里一阵翻腾——一半是兴奋,一半是害怕。)
I wasn’t sure if I should laugh or cry.
(我不知道自己该笑还是该哭。)
Guilt crawled up my chest like a slow wave.
(一阵愧疚像慢慢升起的波浪爬满了胸口。)
He looked confused, as if the world had shifted around him.
(他看起来很迷茫,仿佛世界变了模样。)
My heart pounded against my ribs like a trapped bird.
(我的心在胸口狂跳,像只被困住的鸟。)
I was torn between doing the right thing and not hurting his feelings.
(我在做正确的事和不伤害他的感情之间左右为难。)
Her silence screamed louder than words.
(她的沉默比任何话语都响亮。)
I felt a lump in my throat, the kind that came before tears.
(我喉咙哽咽,那是眼泪来临前的感觉。)
He smiled, but there was emptiness in his eyes.
(他笑着,但眼神空洞。)
Relief washed over me when I saw Gram waiting by the porch.
(看到Gram站在门廊边,我如释重负。)
环境描写(Environmental Descriptions)
The sun beat down from above, turning the streets into a shimmering mirror.
(阳光炽烈,街道像镜子一样闪烁。)
A humid breeze blew gently, barely lifting the sweat off my neck.
(一阵潮湿的微风吹过,几乎无法带走脖颈上的汗水。)
The car's air smelled faintly of old mint and leather.
(车里弥漫着淡淡的薄荷和皮革的旧味。)
Thunder rolled in the distance, dark clouds swallowing the sky.
(远处传来雷声,乌云吞噬了天空。)
Dust danced in the sunbeams that filtered through the porch screen.
(灰尘在穿过门廊纱窗的阳光中跳舞。)
The narrow road was lined with maple trees, their leaves twitching in the breeze.
(狭窄的道路两旁是枫树,叶子在风中微动。)
The grocery store smelled like paper bags, old bananas, and detergent.
(杂货店里弥漫着纸袋、熟透的香蕉和洗涤剂的气味。)
Rain drummed against the windshield like impatient fingers tapping a desk.
(雨点像不耐烦的手指敲在挡风玻璃上。)
The house stood still, quiet except for the ticking clock.
(屋里静悄悄的,只有钟表的滴答声。)
The sidewalk was hot beneath my sandals, and the sky buzzed with cicadas.
(人行道在凉鞋下发烫,天空中蝉鸣不止。)
常见单词高级替换词
场景
常用词
高阶替换
情绪描述
happy
delighted, overjoyed, thrilled, ecstatic, elated
情绪描述
sad
sorrowful, downcast, heartbroken, gloomy, despondent
行为表达
walk
stroll, pace, march, wander, stride
表达“说”
say
declare, remark, murmur, exclaim, confess
形容天气
hot
scorching, sweltering, boiling, blistering, blazing
固定搭配、词法解析与可积累语料
fumble through(笨拙地翻找)
= search awkwardly
Gramps fumbled through Gram’s purse.
be in charge of(负责)
= take responsibility for
She put me in charge of the shopping list.
go blank(大脑一片空白)
= forget everything suddenly
His face went blank when I mentioned Mom.
hold one's breath(屏住呼吸)
= become tense/anxious
I held my breath as he turned the key.
burst into laughter/tears(突然笑/哭)
= suddenly begin laughing/crying
We both burst into laughter when the ice cream dropped.
生词短语精析
chuckle /ˈtʃʌkəl/词性:vi./n.意义:轻声地笑,咯咯笑
近义词:giggle, snicker, laugh quietly
反义词:sob, sigh, cry
例句:Gramps chuckled softly when I corrected him.
I couldn’t help but chuckle at his silly joke.
sticky /ˈstɪki/词性:adj.意义:黏的;闷热的
近义词:humid, damp, muggy
反义词:dry, crisp
例句:The sticky air clung to my skin.
It was a sticky summer afternoon.
massive /ˈmæsɪv/词性:adj.意义:巨大的,厚重的
近义词:huge, enormous, bulky
反义词:tiny, slight
例句:Gram helped her massive husband to his feet.
A massive storm was coming.
nonsense /ˈnɒnsəns/词性:n. 胡说;废话
近义词:rubbish, foolishness, absurdity
反义词:truth, logic
例句:“Nonsense,” Gram said when I complained about the heat.
Don’t listen to his nonsense.
survive without词性:v.+prep.意义:在没有……的情况下生存
近义词:manage without, get by without
反义词:depend on, rely on
例句:People have survived thousands of years without AC.
I can’t survive without my phone.
5. Possible Versions(3)
Version 1
Paragraph 1:
“Why don’t we two go to the store and surprise her?” Gramps said to me. Gramps’s voice was filled with excitement, and I could see a mischievous glint in his eyes. Though a wave of hesitation swept over me, I didn’t want to ruin his joy. “Okay,” I said softly. As he started the car, I clutched the shopping list, trying to stay calm(现在分词短语做伴随动作). The car jerked slightly as we pulled out of the driveway, and he paused at the first intersection. “Which way again?” he asked, blinking at the street signs(现在分词短语做伴随动作). My heart pounded. “Turn left, Gramps,” I answered, trying to sound cheerful(现在分词短语做伴随动作). His driving was slow and uncertain. Each stop sign felt like a test. I debated whether to call Gram but didn’t want to upset Gramps. Just as we missed another turn, Gramp stopped the car in the middle of the road.
Paragraph 2:
Fortunately, Gram and a police officer showed up just in time. The moment Gram saw us, she rushed to our car, her face pale(独立主格). “George, what on earth are you doing?” she exclaimed, voice trembling(独立主格). The officer gently knocked on the window and asked if everything was okay. “We were going to surprise Gram,” I said, trying to explain(现在分词短语做伴随动作). Gramps gave a confused smile. “Did we get the milk?” Gram’s expression softened. She took his hand. “Let’s go home, dear.” The officer, kind and understanding(adj做主语补语), assured us everything was fine and we could leave. Back at the porch, I watched Gram help Gramps with his shoes. That day, I realized love wasn’t just about big gestures—it was about showing up, holding on, and remembering for someone(非谓语动词短语并列) who can’t.
语言亮点与表达分析:
高分语法: though引导让步状语从句;非谓语结构(trying to stay calm);强调句(It was then that I realized...)
地道搭配: filled with excitement;clutch the list;jerk slightly;voice trembling
动作词: pulled out of;jerked;waved frantically;rushed to sb’s side
情绪表达: hesitation swept over me;heart pounded;voice trembling;expression softened
词汇升级:
excited → thrilled / overjoyed
scared → alarmed / unsettled
confused → bewildered / lost
语料积累:
短语替换:
miss a turn → take a wrong turn
try to stay calm → struggle to keep composure
smile → grin / beam
例句积累:
A wave of panic rose in my chest as he turned the wrong way.
She clutched the steering wheel, knuckles white.
His eyes searched the street, clearly unsure of where he was.
The moment she saw him, her eyes welled up with tears.
Version 2
Paragraph 1:
“Why don’t we two go to the store and surprise her?” Gramps said to me. His suggestion caught me off guard, and before I could answer, he had already grabbed the car keys. I followed him outside, hoping to keep things under control(现在分词短语做伴随动作). “Gramps, do you remember the way?” I asked gently. “Sure do,” he replied with a confident smile. But as we backed out, he nearly hit the mailbox. My hands clenched the seatbelt as he drove slowly but unevenly. At the first stoplight, he looked confused. “Which one is the gas pedal again?” he muttered. My throat tightened. “Let’s turn around,” I pleaded, but he didn’t hear me. Just then, the honk of another car startled us both(无灵主语句), and he slammed the brakes. The car came to a screeching halt in the middle of the road.
Paragraph 2:
Fortunately, Gram and a police officer showed up just in time. They pulled up beside us, Gram leaping out(独立主格)before the car even stopped. “George, my heart nearly stopped!” she cried, pulling the door open(现在分词短语做伴随动作). The officer quickly helped calm the situation, checking(现在分词短语做伴随动作) to ensure no one was hurt. “Just a misunderstanding,” I said, still shaken(过去分词adj做补语). Gramps looked at Gram, puzzled but calm(adj做主语补语). “Were we going to the store?” he asked. Gram nodded and took his hand. “But we’ll go together next time.” The officer smiled kindly and waved us off. As we backed home, I held Gramps’s hand tighter than usual. He may forget things, but that day reminded me that his love—like mine—remained unwavering.
语言亮点与表达分析:
高分语法: 倒装(So startled was he that...);虚拟语气(If only I had stopped him sooner...);非谓语短语(still shaken)
搭配表达: clenched the seatbelt;nearly hit;screeching halt;leaping out
情绪词: throat tightened;still shaken;my heart nearly stopped;puzzled but calm
动作描写: slammed the brakes;pulled the door open;waved us off
词汇升级替换:
stopped suddenly → came to a halt
confused → disoriented / puzzled
said → murmured / responded / whispered
积累例句:
His confident smile faded as confusion clouded his eyes.
The sudden honk sent a jolt of fear through me.
She gripped the doorframe as she got out of the car.
I could see the lines of worry etched into her face.
Version 3
Paragraph 1:
"Why don't we two go to the store and surprise her?" Gramps said to me. His eyes twinkled with childlike excitement. Before I could respond, he was already shuffling toward the car, keys jingling in his wrinkled hand(独立主格). My stomach knotted - Gram would be furious if we left without telling her. Yet seeing Gramps' hopeful smile(现在分词短语做原因状语), I couldn't refuse. The engine coughed to life as we pulled onto the quiet neighborhood roads. At first, everything seemed fine; Gramps hummed an old tune(独立主格刻画人物) while driving(状从压缩). But then he paused too long at a stop sign. "Which way now?" he muttered, forehead creasing(现在分词做伴随动作). My fingers tightened around the crumpled shopping list as unfamiliar streets stretched before us. The afternoon sun glared through the windshield(环境描写), making sweat trickle down my neck(现在分词短语做伴随动作). Gramps' confident grip on the wheel wavered, his knuckles whitening(独立主格).
Paragraph 2 :
Fortunately, Gram and a police officer showed up just in time. The sudden siren made Gramps jump, his confused gaze meeting mine(独立主格). Gram rushed from the patrol car, her dress flapping in the wind(独立主格刻画人物). "George! What were you thinking?" she scolded, but her trembling hands betrayed her relief(无灵主语句). The officer, after checking Gramps' license, spoke kindly: "Sir, maybe leave driving to others." Gramps looked down, shoulders slumping(独立主格刻画人物状态). "Just wanted... to help," he whispered hoarsely. My throat tightened seeing his defeated expression(现在分词短语做伴随动作). Gram sighed, smoothing his wrinkled shirt(现在分词短语做伴随动作) where ice cream had dripped earlier. "Let's go home," she murmured, helping him into the police car(现在分词短语做伴随动作). As we followed behind, Gram reached back to squeeze my knee. Through the rear window, I watched Gramps doze off, his face finally peaceful(独立主格). The incident had been scary, but in that quiet moment, I understood - real love meant patience, even when things went wrong.
Version 4
Paragraph 1:
"Why don’t we two go to the store and surprise her?” Gramps said to me.He seemed so proud of his idea that I didn’t have the heart to say no. Clutching the shopping list Gram had handed me, I followed him out. “I’ll help you remember what to buy,” I offered, trying to stay calm(现在分词短语做伴随动作). Gramps gave me a wink. “That’s my smart girl.” As he started the car, I noticed him pause for a moment, like he was trying to remember something. At the stop sign, he turned the wrong way. “Gramps, the store’s the other direction,” I said gently. He blinked, confused(动词过去分词做主语补语), and mumbled, “Right, right...” I gripped the seat, uncertain(adj做主语补语) whether to turn back or keep going. The streets felt unfamiliar with him behind the wheel.
Paragraph 2:
Fortunately, Gram and a police officer showed up just in time. They had been searching nearby when they spotted our car. Gram hurried over, her face pale with worry(独立主格). “George, you scared me!” she cried, helping him out of the driver’s seat(现在分词短语做伴随动作). The officer looked at me kindly. “Are you alright?” he asked. I nodded, still shaken(过去分词做adj主语补语). Gramps looked around, a little lost(adj短语做主语补语), then his face brightened when he saw Gram. “You found us!” he said with a childlike grin. Gram took his hand and whispered, “Of course I did.” Back home, as we sipped teain the shade, I realized Gram’s love didn’t need to be loud—it was always there, quiet but strong(adj做补语), like a shadow that never leaves.
官方:
Why don’t we two go to the store and surprise her?” Gramps said to me. Before I could respond, he was already heading towards the car, key in hand(独立主格). I hesitated for a moment, but the thought of seeing Gram’s surprised face(主语) made me follow him. As we got into the car, I realized that Gramps might not remember how to drive properly. “Are you sure you can drive, Gramps?” I asked nervously. He chuckled and said, “Of course, I can, Melanie. I’ve been driving for years.” But as we pulled out of the driveway, I noticed that he was driving much slower than usual, and he seemed a bit confused about which way to go.
Fortunately, Gram and a police officer showed up just in time. Gram rushed over to the car, looking worried(现在分词短语做伴随动作). “George, what are you doing?” she exclaimed. The police officer explained that someone had reported a car driving erratically, and they had tracked it down to us. I explained what had happened, and the officer nodded understandingly. “It’s okay, kids,” he said. “Your grandpa just needs a little help remembering things sometimes(现在分词短语做补语或同位语).” Gram hugged Gramps tightly, and I could see the relief in her eyes. She thanked the officer and then turned to us, saying(现在分词短语做伴随动作), “Let’s all go home and have some lemonade together.” As we walked back to the house(确定是要走回家吗?), I knew that even though Gramps forgot things sometimes, he would always remember how much we loved him.
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