基础01 初识读后续写（读后续写课件）英语高一通用版

读后续写课件 教学环节 课堂导入 信息获取 语言分析 写作训练 评价反馈 课堂导入 阅读部分 写作部分 评分标准 1、与所给短文融合度高与所提供的各段落开头与衔接合理 2、 创造了丰富，合理的内容，富有逻辑性。 3、所使用语法结构和词汇丰富准确，可能有些许错误，但完全不影响意思表达 4、有效地使用了段落间，语句间的衔接成分，所续写短文结构紧凑 续写原则 1、情感态度一致原则 2、语言风格一致性 3、正能量结尾原则 提分策略 1、要多用动词，增加画面感 2、注重衔接，提升线索感 3、丰富句式，增强语感美 信息获取 An Unexpected Package The rain hit my window again and again that Saturday afternoon. With my parents away for the weekend, the house was covered in a strange silence. As I walked to the kitchen, I noticed a dark square shape on the porch—a package. This was very strange. I hadn’t ordered anything. What’s more, the box was wet and marked with dirt, as if it had been sitting there for a long time. There was no sender’s address—just my name, “Leo,” written by hand in a beautiful, curvy writing that I didn’t know. Was this a joke? A wrong delivery? I felt curious but also a little scared. I brought the box inside. It felt heavy—heavier than I thought it would be. I put it on the kitchen table and just looked at it. It looked very different from everything else in the clean, bright kitchen. Finally, I found some scissors and carefully cut the tape. The top of the box opened a little. I held my breath. My heart was pounding fast. What was inside? Old books? A gift I forgot about? Or something bad? I pushed the box open a bit more and looked closely into the dark inside. It was full of wrinkled brown paper. I reached in and moved some of the paper aside. Under it was something I never expected. It was… An Unexpected Package The rain hit my window again and again that Saturday afternoon. With my parents away for the weekend, the house was covered in a strange silence. As I walked to the kitchen, I noticed a dark square shape on the porch—a package. 时间 time An Unexpected Package The rain hit my window again and again that Saturday afternoon. With my parents away for the weekend, the house was covered in a strange silence. As I walked to the kitchen, I noticed a dark square shape on the porch—a package. 环境细节 (Setting Details) 时间、天气: 一个下雨的周六下午。天气为故事定下了一个沉闷、阴暗的基调。 地点、人物状态: 主角独自一人在家。这很重要！因为没有成年人在场，所有决定和接下来的行动都必须由主角自己做出，增加了故事的紧张感和自主性。 续写思考: 接下来的故事需要发生在这个环境里吗？雨会停吗？父母会突然回来吗？ An Unexpected Package This was very strange. I hadn’t ordered anything. What’s more, the box was wet and marked with dirt, as if it had been sitting there for a long time. There was no sender’s address—just my name, “Leo,” written by hand in a beautiful, curvy writing that I didn’t know. 包裹的外观 (The Package's Appearance) 状态: 包裹被雨淋湿、很脏，说明它在外面放了很久。是谁放的？为什么没按门铃？ 神秘性: 没有寄件人地址是最大的谜团！这直接排除了普通网购的可能。优雅的笔迹又似乎暗示寄件人可能并非恶意。 续写思考: 包裹来自一个细心的人？一个神秘组织？还是来自过去或未来？ An Unexpected Package Was this a joke? A wrong delivery? I felt curious but also a little scared. I brought the box inside. It felt heavy—heavier than I thought it would be. I put it on the kitchen table and just looked at it. It looked very different from everything else in the clean, bright kitchen. Finally, I found some scissors and carefully cut the tape. The top of the box opened a little. I held my breath. My heart was pounding fast. What was inside? Old books? A gift I forgot about? Or something bad? I pushed the box open a bit more and looked closely into the dark inside. It was full of wrinkled brown paper. I reached in and moved some of the paper aside. Under it was something I never expected. It was… 人物的行为与感受 (Character's Actions & Feelings) 心理状态: 主角的情绪是混合的——好奇和恐惧在打架。这非常真实。他的动作（小心翼翼、心跳加速）完美地反映了这种紧张感。 性格: 他虽然害怕，但最终还是好奇心占了上风，并且行动很谨慎。 续写思考: 主角的性格（谨慎但好奇）会如何影响他接下来的反应？他看到东西后会尖叫？后退？还是兴奋？ An Unexpected Package Was this a joke? A wrong delivery? I felt curious but also a little scared. I brought the box inside. It felt heavy—heavier than I thought it would be. I put it on the kitchen table and just looked at it. It looked very different from everything else in the clean, bright kitchen. Finally, I found some scissors and carefully cut the tape. The top of the box opened a little. I held my breath. My heart was pounding fast. What was inside? Old books? A gift I forgot about? Or something bad? 提出的问题 (Questions Raised) 这是作者直接给我们的思维方向。续写的内容最好能回答其中的一个问题，或者给出一个出乎意料但又合理的答案。选项涵盖了从普通（送错了、旧书）到美好（被遗忘的礼物）再到危险（不好的东西）的各种可能。 续写思考: 你会选择哪个方向？是选择原文提出的一个猜想，还是完全原创一个？ An Unexpected Package I pushed the box open a bit more and looked closely into the dark inside. It was full of wrinkled brown paper. I reached in and moved some of the paper aside. Under it was something I never expected. It was… 包裹内部的第一步发现 (First Discovery) 东西被故意隐藏和保护着。最重要的物品还在下面。这增加了悬念，让打开包裹的过程分成几步，而不是一眼就看到全貌。 续写思考: 这个包装暗示里面的东西可能很易碎或很珍贵。 准确获取信息 角色性格 角色外表 人物情感 角色关系 剧情主线 语言分析要点 语言特点 Language feature---修饰词 1、形容词与副词：增加细节 (Adding Details) 例句: "...a dark, square shape" / "wrinkled, brown packing paper" 分析: 这些形容词 (dark, square, wrinkled, brown) 帮助我们在大脑中清晰地看到那个包裹和包装纸的样子。 例句: "I carefully cut the tape." 分析: 副词 carefully（小心地）说明了动作的方式，揭示了主角谨慎、紧张的心理状态。 形容词和副词为故事涂上颜色，让画面更丰富，情感更具体。 润色句子 Example 1: "He opened the box." 升级 Example 2: "He saw a puppy. It was small." 升级: "Holding his breath, he slowly lifted the damp cardboard box." There, rolled up and shaking, was a small puppy with big, scared eyes. 语言特点 Language feature---修饰词 写作建议: 在续写中，多问自己“什么样的？”和“怎么做的？”。东西是 shiny（闪亮的）还是 dull（暗淡的）？人物是 slowly（慢慢地）还是 nervously（紧张地）行动？ 语言特点 Language feature---衔接 连接词：让故事流畅 (Making it Flow) 表示时间顺序: "As I walked to the kitchen..." (当我去厨房时...) 表示递进/加重: "What’s more, the box was wet..." (更重要的是...) 表示选择/猜测: "Was this a joke? Or something bad?" (是玩笑？还是坏事？) 连接词是路标，它们引导读者理解事件发生的顺序和逻辑关系。 语言特点 Language feature---衔接 写作建议: 在续写中，正确使用 First,... Then,... After that,... Finally,... 来组织顺序；使用 However,... / But... 来表示转折；使用 Because... / So... 来表示因果。这会让你的文章逻辑清晰，读起来更顺畅。 语言特点 Language feature---修辞手法 比喻（明喻）Simile: 例句: "...as if it had been sitting there for a long time." 分析: as if（仿佛，好像）用于比喻，将包裹的脏旧状态比喻成“好像放了很久”，让描述更形象。 设问 Rhetorical Questions: 例句: "Was this a joke? A wrong delivery?" 分析: 连续提问不需要回答，目的是模仿人物真实的内心活动，让读者感受到他的困惑和猜疑，增强代入感。 修辞手法：让语言更生动 (Making it Vivid) 描述主角看到包裹内物品第一眼时的感觉（假设物品很惊人）。 (提示：他的眼睛像什么一样睁大？他像什么一样 frozen？) My eyes grew wide __________________________________. I stood frozen, ____________________________________. 描述那个神秘的包裹。(提示：它是一个等待被解开的什么？一个充满未知的什么？) The package was _________________________, waiting to be solved. It was ________________________ of unknowns. like two full moons. like a statue carved from surprise. a silent puzzle a deep ocean 语言特点 Language feature---修辞手法 写作建议: 在续写中，可以尝试用 It looked like... 或 It felt as if... 来打比方。也可以用人物的内心提问（"What should I do now?"）来展现他们的挣扎 写作训练 Writing 为这篇文本续写一个100词左右的小短文。 续写需包含： 1. 至少2个环境描写形容词（如 damp）； 2. 1个比喻句（仿照'eyes like full moons'）； 3. 使用2种衔接词（如Suddenly表转折，Meanwhile表并行）。 读后续写要求 流畅 续写 生动 高级 合理 整洁 丰满 01 02 03 04 05 06 评价反馈 评价维度 (Criteria) 达标 ( 3分) 部分达标 (2分) 需改进 (1分) 内容与结构 情节合理完整，有头有尾 情节基本完整但略显平淡 情节不合理或未完成 语言运用 熟练运用所学描写，生动形象 使用了描写，但不够生动 很少或没有使用生动描写 衔接与连贯 衔接自然，故事流畅 有衔接词但稍显生硬 缺乏衔接，行文跳跃 情感一致性 续写情感与原文完全匹配（如孤独→希望） 情感过渡稍显突兀 情节偏离 语法准确性（时态、主谓一致等） 语法结构丰富，且极准确 语法稍有错误 有明显的语法错误 得分       Evaluation 、Showcase & Feedback Evaluation 1. 小组内互评 2. 班级展示 范 例 I pushed aside the wrinkled paper and gasped. Inside was a small, wooden box, its surface smooth but covered in strange carvings. Suddenly, the rain outside grew louder, tapping against the window like impatient fingers. My hands shook as I lifted the lid. Inside lay a silver key, shining faintly in the dim kitchen light. Meanwhile, a cold wind slipped through the door, making me shiver. The key felt heavy in my palm, as if it held secrets. Who sent this? And why?​ THE END 谢谢 $$