初中英语写作技巧课之精密描写今天我们借用乌鸦喝水的故事来学习怎么组织精密描写类的文章。描写经历或故事，首先要介绍故事的开始。口渴的乌鸦看到一个装有水的瓶子，然后是进展乌鸦尝试喝水。冲突来了，水太少了，乌鸦喝不到。没关系，坚强的乌鸦不放弃，它发挥了聪明才智，想到了在瓶子中加石头让水位上升的好办法。在故事的结尾，乌鸦终于喝到水了。这样的五个部分就是一个完整的故事该具备的要素。来看这段关于周末经历的描写，对比乌鸦喝水故事的完整结构，我们发现它缺少了故事起服。而且干巴巴的流水纹没有细节描写，更别说情感升华了。所以这节课来了，邀请你掌握学习组织结构，让听力描写有起伏。学习细节描写，让经历描写有细节。学习情感升华，让经历描写有深度。组织结构中开始、进展和结尾是同学们非常熟悉且容易写出来的。所以本次课我们聚焦选准冲突和解决冲突的案例。比如一次难忘的露营冲突，可以这样写。suddenly IT rained heavily and our tent leaked. 刚搭好。帐篷就下起了雨。帐篷倾斜了，解决问题自然而然就有话说。We grabs the tense corners and wait IT down with stones. The tent stood up again. 我们抓紧帐篷的脚，并用石头固定住帐篷，重新立起来了。再比如第一次独自坐飞机，冲突可以这样选。I got lost because there were so many people. I felt nervous and didn't know what to do. 机场人太多了，我迷路了。怎么解决的呢？Suddenly, an airport staff noticed me and let me to the right direction. 一位机场工作人员看到了无助的我，帮了我。案例3，运动会上参加800米赛跑的经历，请你选一选，拿到第一名还是最后一圈？体力不支可以作为你的冲突描写。正确答案选b when . I came to the last lap，my legs were as heavy as stones. I almost give up. 跑到最后一圈时，我体力不支，想放弃。但是i heard . my classmates shouting，come on, you can make IT. Their cheers pushed me forward. 这时，我听到同学们在场外为我加油，这鼓舞了我。搭建好结构框架后，接下来要对细节描写进行扩充，我们可以通过感官描写来扩充细节，比如视觉描写，写出你所看到的。The sun shine brightly, making the lake look like a mara. 阳光明媚，湖面看起来像一面镜子。听觉描写写出你所听到的rain drops . tapped on the window，and o'clock take too far away. 雨滴轻轻拍打着窗户，远处时钟滴答作响。嗅觉描写写出你所闻到的the flowers gave out . a sweet smell when I walked past the garden。当我走过花园时，花儿散发出甜甜的香气。味觉描写写出你用嘴巴尝出来的味道。Mm cakes taste like honey, making every early morning precious. 妈妈做的蛋糕吃起来像蜂蜜，让每个早晨变得弥足珍贵。触觉描写写出你用手或皮肤感受到的。The blanket felt warm and soft when I covered myself with IT. 当我把自己裹进毯子里时，它是那么的温暖又柔软。还可以通过动作和心理描写来扩充细节技巧，按场景联想具体动作，将描述状态改为具体动作细节，比如原文描述状态，i felt the math exam这样的描述该如何扩充细节呢？我们观察这个图片，点击不同的身体部位，来看看小主人看到分数时的身体反应吧。Hands, my hands shook throat, my throat hurt. Ice tears came into my eyes. 这样简单的状态描写，就可改为一连串的场景动作。When I saw the school fifty nine on the math paper, my hand shook, my throat, felt hurt, and tears came into my eyes. 请针对以下场景进行细节描写。Sudie hearing my name as the winner, I jumped up and collect my hands. My heart was dancing with joy, the r when the judge announced the result, my cheeks turned red and a big smile spread across my face. 运用修辞手法同样能帮你填充细节，优化表达。比如运用比喻句a is like b的句型，将学骑自行车时候的紧张very nervous升级为my nervousness was . like a wild horse running freely。我的紧张感。就像一匹野马在肆意狂奔。我们还可以这样写，her smile was like a warm sunshine, 她的笑容像是温暖的阳光。His fear was like a giant stone in his heart. 它的恐惧就像心里的一块大石头一样。My mind was like. before the exam, 请你选一选。如果要形容我在考试前的紧张，该怎么说呢？正确答案选A在考试前，我的大脑像是一张白纸一样，拟人的手法同样能让描写变得生动有趣。这个时候，物品仿佛具有人的思想和灵魂。比如闹钟响了，可以这样说。the clock whispered, hurry up or you will be late. 进行拟人化的描写，我们只需记住写出事物，并加上一般只用来描述人的动作动词即可。比如，time forgot to move when I was reading the story. 当我在读这个故事的时候，时间仿佛忘了流动。The river sent softly as IT flowed through the village. 小河穿过村庄时。轻柔地唱着歌。fear on the dark street. 请你选一选哪个更能说明我很害怕？正确答案，选A在黑暗的街上，恐惧紧紧跟随着我想要。文章有深度，只有细节描写还不够，情感升华的重要性不言而喻。首先，优秀的结尾能让读者感受余味悠长，升华主题，比如总结式。This experience taught me that patients is the key to success. 这次经历让我明白，耐心是成功的关键。升华是now I understand . that helping others is not just a duty，but a joy that enriches my life. 现在我明白了，帮助他人不仅仅是一种责任，更是一种让我的生命得以丰富的快乐。展望是。next time I face a chAllenge, I will remember this experience and try harder. 下次面对挑战时，我会铭记这次经历并更加努力。而在写作中，恰当使用名言警句，好像为文章注入了画龙点睛的神来之笔。有一些名言警句适合用在经历描写中，一起来选一选它们的含义吧。No pain, no gain. 选A，一分耕耘一分收获。Every cloud has a server lining. 选C黑暗中总有一线光明，practice makes perfect. 选D熟能生巧。Where there's a will, there's a way. 有志者事竟成，failure is the mother of success. 选E失败是成功之母。同学们可多积累此类句子，丰富自己的表达。请根据文段内容为空处，匹配合适的名言警句。答案选a no pain，no gain, 一分耕耘一分收获。一起总结一下今日所学。今天我们学习了英语写作中的经历。描写该如何写？组织结构时最重要的是选准冲突事件和解决冲突的过程。细节描写要考虑感官描写、动作和心理描写以及修辞手法的运用。最后是情感升华。好的结尾能升华主题，恰当使用名言警句，就像神来之笔，画龙点睛。今天的内容就到这里，我们下次见。