Continuation Writing - How to complete a rich story（考场写作思路探究）

How to complete a rich story? 导学案 课下5分钟故事阅读预习+5分钟情节简构 一条主线：聚焦主旨，简构情节+串串珠子：润色语言，整洁书写 Ali and his younger sister, Zahra, lived with their parents in a poor neighborhood. Their mother was very sick and their father was struggling to find a job, and they had only a little money with which to buy food. As they had not paid the rent for several months, the landlord was breathing down their necks(盯着他们). One day, Ali took Zahra's shoes to a shoe repairman to be fixed, but he lost them on the way home. It wasn't until he got home that he realized he had lost the shoes. He was afraid that his parents would be angry and disappointed, so he begged his sister to keep it secret. Zahra agreed and the two decided to share Ali's running shoes. Zahra's school hours were in the morning, so she would wear them first. After school, she would rush back and give them to Ali. He could then run to his school, which began in the afternoon. Although he ran as fast as he could, Ali often arrived late and was warned by the school. Ali heard about a long distance race that was held for the boys in the city. When he learned that the third prize was a new pair of shoes, he decided to take part. He ran home excitedly and promised his sister that he would win her the new shoes. The day of race arrived. Ali had a strong start, but halfway through the race he began to get tired and his legs began to ache. Getting more and more exhausted he thought only of Zahra and his promise to her. Dreaming of the new shoes he would win for his sister gave him strength, and he stayed right behind the two fastest runners, determined to finish third. Suddenly, as the finish line drew near, another runner collided [kəˈlaɪd碰撞] with Ali from behind and he crashed to the ground. Paragraph 1: Ali looked up and saw the other boys rushing ahead. Paragraph 2: Filled with delight, Ali walked home quickly. Task 1:Read and underline 5 elements of the story. （who） （what） (where) (when) to convey the message of (theme) Task 2:Draft your plot with 3 simple sentences in each paragraph to consist with the original story,avoiding wandering from the theme. Simple sentences：S + v(时态语态)+动词搭配 Paragraph 1: Ali looked up and saw the other boys rushing ahead. Theme:____________________________ Focus: 2. 3. 1.（衔接下文） How to plot 看听感想说和做 （人物互动） Paragraph 2: Filled with delight, Ali walked home quickly. Focus: 1. 2. 3. How to plot 看听感想说和做 （人物互动） 正能量，解决问题 结尾 Task 3:Polish your language 跑：They like towards the relief agency, a long queue ahead. A racing car by, with the driver’s laughter behind. 等待：Everyone looked ahead , their faces like walking zombies(僵尸). 失望：That was a loud voice , “There were only four spots（位置）left.” It gave the father a big （吃惊）. 争吵：Suddenly, a strong man jumped into the queue in front of him. Too to control himself, he asked him to leave loudly. Then came their quarrel and fight, the little boy in terror. At last, the anger in his , the man reluctantly left, his face with shame. 听到消息后的反应： （1）流泪：At the news, tears to his eyes. / his eyes . （2）语言： with great excitement, he just , “I, I ...Thank you...” （3）心情：So many days of efforts off! An inner voice in his head, “I have the job.” （4）动作：He almost out of the door into the crowd. He turned around and around, held his high and despite himself（不能自已）.His face up, he forward with the confidence and pride that he had never had. 人群中穿梭:He through the crowd like . It didn’t take long he reached his son’s classroom. 拥抱儿子: the door open, he to his son and him up, for air. Then he down and gave him a firm , his face mixed emotions. 回忆和感慨：Those years of torture（痛苦；折磨） his mind, tears to his eyes/ him to tears. Task 4:Polish your writing 常见续写句式：情动非谓语，时句强，虚叹倒 1.情绪表达三种 a.(more than)情绪形容词(angry/guilty/nervous)(beyond description)/too...to v./adj1 yet/and adj2 -ed(excited/puzzled/surprised/shocked/stunned/confused/embarrassed/dumbfounded/horror-struck) filled with/overwhelmed/overcome/consumed/seized/gripped by/with+情绪 with +情绪名词(anger/regret/curiosity/in surprise/in shock/in amazement)/to one’s (great/utter)+情绪名词 (with) +情绪名词overwhelming/sweeping over/flooding over/washing over/surging over sb +主句...,ving So 情绪ed/adj b. 倒装（助动词+主语+v适当形式） that... 情绪ed/adj c. as/though 主谓...,主句... 虽然......,但是...... （不能用although） Task 1 1)____________________________________________________ he picked himself up and tried to catch up with others，_______________________________________________________________ 2)______________________________________he presented the shoes to his sister,_______________________________________________________________________. 2.三连动动作（思考主要动词之前和之后做了什么） a.主语 V1-ed, V2-ed and V3-ed =主语 V1ed, v2ing and v3ing =主语 V1 and V2, v3ing b.After v1-ing, 主语+v2-ed and v3-ed c.主语+v1ed and v2ed before ving Task 2 1)_______________________________________________he managed to overtake the boy ahead_______________________________________________________________________. 2)________________________________________.Though Ali came fourth,the boy ahead was judged disqualification since he broke the rule. 3)___________________________________she was overjoyed/excited to hug her brother tightly______________________________________________________________________. 3.三种非谓语：a.常规非谓语b.with复合结构c.独立主格：逻辑主语（主格）+非谓语a.常规非谓语 to do目的 only to do 糟糕的结果 doing主动 done 被动 b.with复合结构 c.独立主格（=去掉with复合结构with） 主句...,with+ O +OC 主句...,逻辑主语+adj/介宾短语/非谓语（doing/to do/done） 常见示例： »主句，(with) 身体部位+ved(常用被动)/ving with one’s eyes fixed on.../closed/open(adj:closed关闭的，open开着的） with one’s hands/fingers/legs crossed...(交叉) with one’s hands folded(交叉合拢)/palms folded(合拢) with one’s hands/arms reaching for.../stretching out with one’s eyes wide open=pop-eyed/wide-eyed/shock-struck with one’s jaw dropping with one’s hands rubbed with one’s palms sweating with one’s lips trembling/parted/squeezed with one’s face/eyes lighting up with one’s face red/cold with a puzzled/questioning look/expression on her face »主句，(with) 情绪n+ overwhelming/consuming/overcoming sb sweeping over/flooding over/washing over/surging through sb »主句，(with) 不同人或事+ adj/adv/介宾/非谓语(可理解为主动-ing，被动就-ed) Task 3 1) __________________________________________he was announced to win third prize and awarded a new pair of shoes./He was announced to win third prize and awarded a new pair of shoes,______________________________________________________________________. 2)_____________________________________________he was content to see his sister’s smile/beam./He was content to see his sister’s smile/beam,__________________________________________________________________. 3)______________________________________though they led a poor life,they cared for each other and anticipated their mother’s recovery__________________________________. 语篇时间衔接，从句逻辑连贯 时间常见衔接： 句子型 the moment/instant...=as soon as... 在......前before... 一......就...... no sooner had sb done...than.... 当......时while/when/as... hardly/scarcely had sb done...when... 在......后after.../after what seemed... 过了很久才it was long before... 没过多久就 it wasn’t long before... ...ved until...延续性v直到 not... until...直到...才 正做某事突然...be doing when... 正准备做...突然...be about to do when... 短语型 prior to...在......前 meanwhile/in the meantime同时 subsequent to...在...之后 subsequently,afterwards 然后，继而 on/upon one’s doing一......就 in/like a flash转瞬间;立即 in the blink一眨眼功夫；很快 in an instant马上 for an instant for a split second一刹那 at the very moment/point/instant就在那时 just in time for sth/to do...及时赶上 with minutes ticking by/away一分一秒嘀嗒嘀嗒过去 with hours dragging away一小时一小时难捱 三种从句的运用： 1)名词性从句,尤其what，it形式主语/形式宾语 2)定语从句：which，who(m)，where，when 对人物补充说明：who(m)、whose 对事情补充说明：which 对地点状语补充说明：where 对时间状语补充说明：when 3)状语从句：it was(not) long before...，the moment/the instant，so/such...that...，the 比较级...,the 比较级...,as...as...,(not/no)比较级than...,so...that... 时间和从句：培养语篇衔接意识 Task 5：完成至少4处看一眼立马有灵感想法的时间或从句衔接 Para 1:Ali looked up and saw the other boys rushing ahead. More than anxious to win the shoes for his sister, he picked himself up ______________________(时间衔接),struggled to his feet and tried to catch up with others. Gritting his teeth and speeding up/accelerating/quickening his speed,_____________(时间衔接）he managed to overtake the boy ahead, ________________________________(定从补充说明在Ali前面的男孩）,just in time to pass the finish line（时间衔接）. With his eyes fixed on the judge, ___________________________________ he was announced（时间衔接） to win third prize and awarded a new pair of shoes_______________________________ ___________________________________（定语从句衔接/时间衔接）. Para 2:Filled with delight, Ali walked home quickly._____________________（时间衔接）. Too anxious to wait ,he presented the shoes,________________________________________ ______________（定语从句衔接）,to his sister on his arrival home(时间衔接） ,apologizing genuinely/sincerely for carelessly losing her shoes. He was content to see his sister’s beam the moment she fluttered(动：飘动；颤动；挥动） her eyelashes/cupped her mouth,curving into a smile(时间衔接),imagining/picturing them accompanying each other like peas and carrots(形影不离)___________________________ ____________________________________________________________（地点状从衔接）. With affection and love enveloping/wrapping/bathing them, though they led a poor life___________________________________________________________（时间衔接）,they cared for each other and anticipated their mother’s recovery,occasionally(时间衔接) helping dad with chores to relieve/ease his burden. 写在最后：结尾的仪式感 组合拳——特殊句式：感叹句；强调句；there be;“最”，“第”，“回忆” 自然结尾(blessed,a blessing,小孩子：开心，高兴，蹦跳，叫着，笑着 大人：看着，满意，开心地笑，欣慰地笑） 首尾呼应:（细读首段，找灵感：换第一段的同义词或词组，不要原词重复a.同义替换，同根词重复，b.原词不同词性或不同词块） 主题升华:（原文的主旨词复现或概括） 寓情于景:声情并茂，光影成趣(时机成熟：不牵强，不晦涩，照应前文） Task 6:Create your ending. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Paragraph 1: Ali looked up and saw the other boys rushing ahead.______________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Paragraph 2: Filled with delight, Ali walked home quickly.___________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 学科网（北京）股份有限公司 学科网（北京）股份有限公司 学科网（北京）股份有限公司 $$ How to complete a rich story? 教学设计 Teaching Objectives: 1. know the basic elements of the given passage; 2. master the steps of writing a continuation writing; 3. write a good ending to the passage. 4. have a basic understanding of contiuation writing. 5. master the writing rules and writing steps of contiuation writing. Teaching Methods: 1. Situation-based method; 2. Task-based method 3. Group cooperation Teaching procedures: ● Activity 1: Read for 5 elements of the story Task 1:Read and underline 5 elements of the story. （who） （what） (where) (when) to convey the message of (theme) ● Activity 2: Draft your plot Task 2:Draft your plot with 3 simple sentences in each paragraph to consist with the original story,avoiding wandering from the theme. Simple sentences：S + v(时态语态)+动词搭配 Paragraph 1: Ali looked up and saw the other boys rushing ahead. Theme:____________________________ Focus: 2. 3. 1.（衔接下文） How to plot 看听感想说和做 （人物互动） Paragraph 2: Filled with delight, Ali walked home quickly. Focus: 1. 2. 3. How to plot 看听感想说和做 （人物互动） 正能量，解决问题 结尾 ● Activity 3: Polish your language 跑：They rushed like wind / a bullet towards the relief agency, only to find a long queue ahead. A racing car roared/whistled by, with the driver’s laughter echoing behind. 等待：Everyone looked ahead anxiously, their faces blank like walking zombies. 失望：That was when a loud voice announced, “There were only four spots left.” It gave the father a big startle. 争吵：Suddenly, a strong man jumped into the queue in front of him. Too worried to control himself, he asked him to leave loudly. Then came their quarrel and fight, the little boy screaming in terror. At last, seeing the anger in his eyes, the man reluctantly left, his face flaming with shame. 听到消息后的反应： （1）流泪：At the news, tears came to his eyes. / his eyes misted. （2）语言：Consumed with great excitement, he just stammered, “I, I ...Thank you...” （3）心情：So many days of efforts paid off! An inner voice screamed in his head, “I have the job.” （4）动作：He almost rushed out of the door into the crowd. He turned around and around, held his hands high and clapped despite himself. His face brightening up, he marched forward with the confidence and pride that he had never had. 人群中穿梭：He snaked / wound his way through the crowd like a gust of wind. It didn’t take long before he reached his son’s classroom. 拥抱儿子：Pushing the door open, he trotted to his son and held him up, gasping for air. Then he crouched down and gave him a firm hug, his face registering mixed emotions. 回忆和感慨：Those years of torture flooded his mind, bringing tears to his eyes. ● Activity 4: Polish your writing 常见续写句式：情动非谓语，时句强，虚叹倒 1.情绪表达三种 a.(more than)情绪形容词(angry/guilty/nervous)(beyond description)/too...to v./adj1 yet/and adj2 -ed(excited/puzzled/surprised/shocked/stunned/confused/embarrassed/dumbfounded/horror-struck) filled with/overwhelmed/overcome/consumed/seized/gripped by/with+情绪 with +情绪名词(anger/regret/curiosity/in surprise/in shock/in amazement)/to one’s (great/utter)+情绪名词 (with) +情绪名词overwhelming/sweeping over/flooding over/washing over/surging over sb +主句...,ving So 情绪ed/adj b. 倒装（助动词+主语+v适当形式） that... 情绪ed/adj c. as/though 主谓...,主句... 虽然......,但是...... （不能用although） Task 1 1)____________________________________________________ he picked himself up and tried to catch up with others，_______________________________________________________________ 2)______________________________________he presented the shoes to his sister,_______________________________________________________________________. 2.三连动动作（思考主要动词之前和之后做了什么） a.主语 V1-ed, V2-ed and V3-ed =主语 V1ed, v2ing and v3ing =主语 V1 and V2, v3ing b.After v1-ing, 主语+v2-ed and v3-ed c.主语+v1ed and v2ed before ving Task 2 1)_______________________________________________he managed to overtake the boy ahead_______________________________________________________________________. 2)________________________________________.Though Ali came fourth,the boy ahead was judged disqualification since he broke the rule. 3)___________________________________she was overjoyed/excited to hug her brother tightly______________________________________________________________________. 3.三种非谓语：a.常规非谓语b.with复合结构c.独立主格：逻辑主语（主格）+非谓语a.常规非谓语 to do目的 only to do 糟糕的结果 doing主动 done 被动 b.with复合结构 c.独立主格（=去掉with复合结构with） 主句...,with+ O +OC 主句...,逻辑主语+adj/介宾短语/非谓语（doing/to do/done） 常见示例： »主句，(with) 身体部位+ved(常用被动)/ving with one’s eyes fixed on.../closed/open(adj:closed关闭的，open开着的） with one’s hands/fingers/legs crossed...(交叉) with one’s hands folded(交叉合拢)/palms folded(合拢) with one’s hands/arms reaching for.../stretching out with one’s eyes wide open=pop-eyed/wide-eyed/shock-struck with one’s jaw dropping with one’s hands rubbed with one’s palms sweating with one’s lips trembling/parted/squeezed with one’s face/eyes lighting up with one’s face red/cold with a puzzled/questioning look/expression on her face »主句，(with) 情绪n+ overwhelming/consuming/overcoming sb sweeping over/flooding over/washing over/surging through sb »主句，(with) 不同人或事+ adj/adv/介宾/非谓语(可理解为主动-ing，被动就-ed) Task 3 1) __________________________________________he was announced to win third prize and awarded a new pair of shoes./He was announced to win third prize and awarded a new pair of shoes,______________________________________________________________________. 2)_____________________________________________he was content to see his sister’s smile/beam./He was content to see his sister’s smile/beam,__________________________________________________________________. 3)______________________________________though they led a poor life,they cared for each other and anticipated their mother’s recovery__________________________________. 时间常见衔接： 句子型 the moment/instant...=as soon as... 在......前before... 一......就...... no sooner had sb done...than.... 当......时while/when/as... hardly/scarcely had sb done...when... 在......后after.../after what seemed... 过了很久才it was long before... 没过多久就 it wasn’t long before... ...ved until...延续性v直到 not... until...直到...才 正做某事突然...be doing when... 正准备做...突然...be about to do when... 短语型 prior to...在......前 meanwhile/in the meantime同时 subsequent to...在...之后 subsequently,afterwards 然后，继而 on/upon one’s doing一......就 in/like a flash转瞬间;立即 in the blink一眨眼功夫；很快 in an instant马上 for an instant for a split second一刹那 at the very moment/point/instant就在那时 just in time for sth/to do...及时赶上 with minutes ticking by/away一分一秒嘀嗒嘀嗒过去 with hours dragging away一小时一小时难捱 三种从句的运用： 1)名词性从句,尤其what，it形式主语/形式宾语 2)定语从句：which，who(m)，where，when 对人物补充说明：who(m)、whose 对事情补充说明：which 对地点状语补充说明：where 对时间状语补充说明：when 3)状语从句：it was(not) long before...，the moment/the instant，so/such...that...，the 比较级...,the 比较级...,as...as...,(not/no)比较级than...,so...that... ● Activity 5: 完成至少4处看一眼立马有灵感想法的时间或从句衔接 Para 1:Ali looked up and saw the other boys rushing ahead. More than anxious to win the shoes for his sister, he picked himself up ______________________(时间衔接),struggled to his feet and tried to catch up with others. Gritting his teeth and speeding up/accelerating/quickening his speed,_____________(时间衔接）he managed to overtake the boy ahead, ________________________________(定从补充说明在Ali前面的男孩）,just in time to pass the finish line（时间衔接）. With his eyes fixed on the judge, ___________________________________ he was announced（时间衔接） to win third prize and awarded a new pair of shoes_______________________________ ___________________________________（定语从句衔接/时间衔接）. Para 2:Filled with delight, Ali walked home quickly._____________________（时间衔接）. Too anxious to wait ,he presented the shoes,________________________________________ ______________（定语从句衔接）,to his sister on his arrival home(时间衔接） ,apologizing genuinely/sincerely for carelessly losing her shoes. He was content to see his sister’s beam the moment she fluttered(动：飘动；颤动；挥动） her eyelashes/cupped her mouth,curving into a smile(时间衔接),imagining/picturing them accompanying each other like peas and carrots(形影不离)___________________________ ____________________________________________________________（地点状从衔接）. With affection and love enveloping/wrapping/bathing them, though they led a poor life___________________________________________________________（时间衔接）,they cared for each other and anticipated their mother’s recovery,occasionally(时间衔接) helping dad with chores to relieve/ease his burden. 写在最后：结尾的仪式感 组合拳——特殊句式：感叹句；强调句；there be;“最”，“第”，“回忆” 自然结尾(blessed,a blessing,小孩子：开心，高兴，蹦跳，叫着，笑着 大人：看着，满意，开心地笑，欣慰地笑） 首尾呼应:（细读首段，找灵感：换第一段的同义词或词组，不要原词重复a.同义替换，同根词重复，b.原词不同词性或不同词块） 主题升华:（原文的主旨词复现或概括） 寓情于景:声情并茂，光影成趣(时机成熟：不牵强，不晦涩，照应前文） Task 6:Create your ending. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 学科网（北京）股份有限公司 学科网（北京）股份有限公司 学科网（北京）股份有限公司 $$ 读后续写 Ali and his younger sister, Zahra, lived with their parents in a poor neighborhood. Their mother was very sick and their father was struggling to find a job, and they had only a little money with which to buy food. As they had not paid the rent for several months, the landlord was breathing down their necks(盯着他们). One day, Ali took Zahra's shoes to a shoe repairman to be fixed, but he lost them on the way home. It wasn't until he got home that he realized he had lost the shoes. He was afraid that his parents would be angry and disappointed, so he begged his sister to keep it secret. Zahra agreed and the two decided to share Ali's running shoes. Zahra's school hours were in the morning, so she would wear them first. After school, she would rush back and give them to Ali. He could then run to his school, which began in the afternoon. Although he ran as fast as he could, Ali often arrived late and was warned by the school. Ali heard about a long distance race that was held for the boys in the city. When he learned that the third prize was a new pair of shoes, he decided to take part. He ran home excitedly and promised his sister that he would win her the new shoes. The day of race arrived. Ali had a strong start, but halfway through the race he began to get tired and his legs began to ache. Getting more and more exhausted he thought only of Zahra and his promise to her. Dreaming of the new shoes he would win for his sister gave him strength, and he stayed right behind the two fastest runners, determined to finish third. Suddenly, as the finish line drew near, another runner collided [kəˈlaɪd碰撞] with Ali from behind and he crashed to the ground. Paragraph 1: Ali looked up and saw the other boys rushing ahead. Paragraph 2: Filled with delight, Ali walked home quickly. 学科网（北京）股份有限公司 $$ 考场写作思路探究 How to complete a rich story? 聚焦主旨 简构情节：看听感想说和做 提升句式：情动非谓语，特殊：虚叹倒强 衔接语篇：时间，从句 结尾仪式感 At the end of the class, you will be able to know the basic elements of the given passage; master the steps of writing a continuation writing; write a good ending to the passage. have a basic understanding of contiuation writing. master the writing rules and writing steps of contiuation writing. Learning Objectives 续写作文历年真题分析 读后续写主题分类： 第一类:与自我 01:坚持不懈/勇敢追梦主题 02:获得自信主题 03:克服恐惧主题 04:学到美德 (诚实、分享合作) 第二类:与他人主题 05:传递善意主题 06:爱的表达主题 07:爱的和解主题 08:见义勇为主题 09:认知改观主题 10:分享趣事 第三类:与自然主题 11:环境保护主题 12:动物救人主题 13:人救动物主题 14:兽口逃生主题 15:可爱动物全题 16:险境求生 评分原则 （一）评分原则 1.本题总分为25分,按5个档次给分。 2.评分时,先根据文章的内容和语言初步确定其所属档次,然后以该档次的要求来衡量,确定或调整档次,最后给分。 3.词数少于130,从总分中减去2分。 4.评分时,应主要从以下四个方面考虑: (1)与所给短文及段落开头语的衔接程度; (2)内容的丰富性; (3)应用语法结构和词汇的丰富性和准确性; (4)上下文的连贯性。 5.拼写与标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面,评分时,应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑。英、美拼写及词汇用法均可接受。 6.如书写较差以致影响交际,可将分数降低一个档次。一 档次 描述 第五档 （21-25分） ①与所给短文融洽度高,与所提供各段落开头语衔接合理。内容丰富。 ②所使用语法结构和词汇丰富、准确,可能有些许错误,但完全不影响意义表达。 ③有效地使用了语句间的连接成分,使所续写短文结构紧凑。 第四档 （16-20分） ①与所给短文融洽度较高,与所提供各段落开头语衔接较为合理。内容比较丰富。 ②所使用语法结构和词汇较为丰富、准确,可能有些许错误,但不影响意义表达。 ③比较有效地使用了语句间的连接成分,使所续写短文结构紧凑。 第三档 （11-15分） ①与所给短文关系较为密切,与所提供各段落开头语有一定程度的衔接。写出了若干有关内容。 ②应用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求,虽有一些错误,但不影响意义表达。 ③应用简单的语句间连接成分,使全文内容连贯。 第二档 （6-10分） ①与所给短文有一定的关系,与所提供各段落开头语有一定程度的衔接。写出了一些有关内容。 ②语法结构单调,词汇项目有限,有些语法结构和词汇方面的错误,影响了意义的表达。 ③较少使用语句间的连接成分,全文内容缺少连贯性。 第一档 （1-5分） ①与所提供短文和开头语的衔接较差。产出内容太少。 ②语法结构单调,词汇项目很有限,有较多语法结构和词汇方面的错误,严重影响了意义的表达。 ③缺乏语句间的连接成分,全文内容不连贯。 0分 白卷、内容太少无法评判或所写内容与所提供内容无关。 各档次 评分描述 01原文一致原则 内容要前后衔接，上下连贯，语言表达风格一致。 02曲折性原则 凡是故事都应有跌宕起伏，其中人物会遇到困难或问题，但最终能解决。 03正能量原则 故事内容一定要正能量，弘扬社会主义核心价值观。如迷路了但最终一定回到了家；失败了或遇到困难了，但最终一定成功了；吵架了但最后一定是言归于好，和睦相处；犯错了，最后一定会改过自新，重新做人；贼逃了，最后一定是绳之以法，等。 三大原则 Step 1. 通读全文， 理清脉络 1.读要素 2.读情节 3.读情感 5.读主题 4.读语言 3 读后续写的写作步骤 Writing （续写故事） Predicting （预测发展） Reading （读取信息） Polishing （润色定稿） 细节: 动作，情感（感受），对话， 表情，独白，外貌，环境，… 过渡: then, but, therefore, however, unfortunately, obviously, in fact, to his joy, next day, … 丰富的句子结构: with复合结构, 非谓语动词“V-ing/-ed/todo”做状语，never, so等引导的倒装句,三大从句，It形式主语句，虚拟语气…. 无语法拼写错误,词汇、句型的打磨升级。 情感连贯, 符合逻辑,衔接自然,与原文融洽度高 logical+vivid+coherent+correct 写作思路与步骤 Reading（读取信息） Basic information(基本信息): who; when; where; what; why; how 第一段（逆向思维）：结合原文，由第一段首句和第二段首句推出故事情节，列出要点 第二段 :结合上文，根据第二段首句展开内容，列出要点 Tips: 1. 充分利用原文提示，回扣原文 2. 动作，情感（感受），对话， 表情，环境 3. 积极的、正能量的、温暖的 新高考卷Writing五步曲 一个主题：故事的完整性（思路不要偏，不要天马行空的想象） 两个关键：两端首句关键词 三个衔接：情节之间的衔接，情节越简单越好，推进要简洁 四个细节：动作+心理+情感+对话（环境） 五个注意：逻辑、时态、词汇、句式、书写 Children of Heaven Continuation Writing 电影：天堂的孩子 故 事 六 要 素 where what how why when who characters time event reason place result 主要内容：__________(who)____________________________________(what) ___________________(why)_________________(where) _____________(when). _____________________________________________________________(how) 1. 读要素(5W1H)：抓住六要素，弄清主要内容。 Task 1:Read and underline elements of the story. (who)________ (what)_____________________________ _____________________________ (where)___________ (when)_________ to convey the message of _____________________________ theme: a moral value behind an instructive story or an interesting experience Ali --------- his sister ran a long distance race to win the third prize--a pair of new shoes love,bravery,perseverance,promise,responsibility in the race in the city possibilities He won the third prize. He didn’t finish the race,but was awarded for his bravery. The runner who collided him gave the shoes to Ali. He ranked fourth but was awarded the third prize as the former runner broke the rule and was dismissed. He finished first. ------ Did Ali win the prize? Whatever the result was, Ali eventually went home with a pair of new shoes for his sister Zahra. Paragraph 1: Ali looked up and saw the other boys rushing ahead. Paragrap 2: Filled with delight, Ali walked home quickly. Which possibility is better for us to describe? a simple plot focusing on the theme:love ,bravery,perseverance Theme:____________________________ Focus: 2. 3. 1.（衔接下文） How to plot 看听感想说和做 （2-3 aspects） （人物互动） How to plot 看听感想说和做（2-3 aspects） （人物互动） 正能量，解决问题 结尾的仪式感 Focus: 1. 2. 3. Paragraph 1: Ali looked up and saw the other boys rushing ahead. Paragraph 2: Filled with delight, Ali walked home quickly. Draft your simple plot with 3 simple sentences 1.consist with the theme 2.save time Paragraph 1: Ali looked up and saw the other boys rushing ahead. Paragrap 2: Filled with delight, Ali walked home quickly. He picked himself up and tried to catch up with others. He managed to overtake the boy ahead/Though Ali came fourth,the boy ahead was judged disqualification since he broke the rule. He was announced to win third prize and awarded a new pair of shoes. He presented the shoes to his sister. She was overjoyed/excited to hug her brother tightly. He was content to see his sister’s smile/beam./Though they led a poor life,they cared for each other and anticipated their mother’s recovery. 总结： 一个主题：故事的完整性（思路不要偏，不要天马行空的想象） 两个关键：抓两端首句关键词 三个衔接：情节之间的衔接，情节越简单越好，推进要简洁 四个细节：动作+心理+情感+对话（环境） 五个注意：逻辑、时态、词汇、句式、书写 如何写出高分作文 高分作文特点 传神的 动作、表情 和心理活动 2 高级多变的 语法结构 3 赏心悦目 的书写 1 赏心悦目的书写 ...which made me quiver with an uncontrollable terror / horror / fright.（难以控制地发抖） As time ticked by, fear crept upon my heart.（爬上我心头） I was flooded with a sense of horror.（被恐惧感淹没） Seeing this, I felt my fear growing / increasing（剧增）inside. I felt a wave of anxiety（一阵焦虑）swept over my body（袭来） a flush of（表情绪的名词）a wave of = a feeling / sense of = a burst of / a surge of（一阵） joy/excitement/pride/anger/rage/panic/terror/sorrow/sadness/grief/embarrassment/disappointment/guilty/shame... flooded over sb = swept over sb Tears blurred one's eyes. One's eyes got misty. One’s eyes misted / dimmed with tears.（泪眼模糊） ...be close to tears（几乎要哭了） tears（roll / streamed down one’s eyes / cheeks / face）（泪水落下） Tears welled up in her eyes. 传神的动作、表情、心理活动：写作素材分类整理 with absolute certainty 斩钉截铁地 with false enthusiasm 故作热情地 with great seriousness 特别严肃地 with sudden resolution 突然坚决地 speak with passion 充满激情地说 in a soft/gentle/mild tone 用温柔的语气说 in a soft voice 以温柔的口吻 in an excited/angry voice 以兴奋/生气的口吻 in surprise 惊奇地 in a low tone / voice 低声地 in a whisper 低声说 through gritted teeth 咬牙切齿地 mutter between teeth 低声含糊地说 roar with laughter 大笑着说 let out a scream of horror  发出恐惧的尖叫 words of comfort 安慰的话 utter a cry of joy/grief 发出快乐/悲痛的叫声 feelings of excitement 兴奋的表情 传神的动作、表情、心理活动：写作素材分类整理 跑：They _____ like _____ towards the relief agency, _____ a long queue ahead. A racing car _____ by, with the driver’s laughter _____behind. 等待：Everyone looked ahead _____, their faces _____like walking zombies. 失望：That was _____a loud voice _____, “There were only four spots left.” It gave the father a big _____. 争吵：Suddenly, a strong man jumped into the queue in front of him. Too _____to control himself, he asked him to leave loudly. Then came their quarrel and fight, the little boy _____in terror. At last, _____the anger in his _____, the man reluctantly left, his face _____with shame. 跑：They rushed like wind / a bullet towards the relief agency, only to find a long queue ahead. A racing car roared/whistled by, with the driver’s laughter echoing behind. 等待：Everyone looked ahead anxiously, their faces blank like walking zombies. 失望：That was when a loud voice announced, “There were only four spots left.” It gave the father a big startle. 争吵：Suddenly, a strong man jumped into the queue in front of him. Too worried to control himself, he asked him to leave loudly. Then came their quarrel and fight, the little boy screaming in terror. At last, seeing the anger in his eyes, the man reluctantly left, his face flaming with shame. 听到消息后的反应： （1）流泪：At the news, tears to his eyes. / his eyes . （2）语言： with great excitement, he just , “I, I ...Thank you...” （3）心情：So many days of efforts off! An inner voice in his head, “I have the job.” （4）动作：He almost out of the door into the crowd. He turned around and around, held his high and despite himself. His face up, he forward with the confidence and pride that he had never had. 听到消息后的反应： （1）流泪：At the news, tears came to his eyes. / his eyes misted. （2）语言：Consumed with great excitement, he just stammered, “I, I ...Thank you...” （3）心情：So many days of efforts paid off! An inner voice screamed in his head, “I have the job.” （4）动作：He almost rushed out of the door into the crowd. He turned around and around, held his hands high and clapped despite himself. His face brightening up, he marched forward with the confidence and pride that he had never had. 人群中穿梭：He through the crowd like . It didn’t take long he reached his son’s classroom. 拥抱儿子： the door open, he to his son and him up, for air. Then he _______ down and gave him a firm , his face mixed emotions. 回忆和感慨：Those years of torture his mind, tears to his eyes. 人群中穿梭：He snaked / wound his way through the crowd like a gust of wind. It didn’t take long before he reached his son’s classroom. 拥抱儿子：Pushing the door open, he trotted to his son and held him up, gasping for air. Then he crouched down and gave him a firm hug, his face registering mixed emotions. 回忆和感慨：Those years of torture flooded his mind, bringing tears to his eyes. Describe Ali's action after the crash. struggle to his feet;straighten up grit his teeth;with his eyes fixed on the finish line speed up/accumulate his pace/run as fast as his legs could carry him; gather all his strength; drip with sweat/ with sweat dripping; dash forward Describe the joy when Ali brought shoes back home. Describe Zahra's reaction to Ali. be overwhelmed with excitement/can’t conceal his excitement; Happy tears welled up in her eyes/tears blurred her vision/misted her eyes; throw herself into his arms/link her arm through his/slide her arm into his; With teary eyes, they hugged together. lift her up the ground,swirl around in the air,leap/bound/bounce... yell/scream/exclaim with delight slap her mouth,eye-popped/wide-eyed It is time to prove your accumulation of detail description! Task 11)____________________ he picked himself up and tried to catch up with others，____________________ 2)_____________________________he presented the shoes to his sister,_____________________________. 1.情绪表达三种 a.(more than)情绪形容词angry/guilty/nervous(beyond description)/too...to v. 情绪ved(excited/puzzled/surprised/shocked/stunned/confused/embarrassed/dumbfounded/horror-struck) adj1 yet/and adj2 filled with/overwhelmed/overcome/consumed/seized/gripped by/with+情绪 (with) +情绪名词overwhelming/sweeping over/flooding over/washing over/surging over sb with +情绪名词(anger/regret/curiosity/in surprise/in shock/in amazement)/to one’s (great/utter)+情绪名词 +主句，-ing b.So 情绪ed/adj +助动词+主语+v适当形式（倒装） that... c.情绪ed/adj as/though 主谓...,主句... 虽然......,但是...... （不能用although） Example 1 More than anxious to win the shoes for his sister, he picked himself up,struggled to his feet and tried to catch up with others. So eager was he to win the shoes for his sister that he picked himself up and tried to catch up with others,racing/charging forward without hesitation. Painful beyond description as/though he felt, he picked himself up and tried to catch up with others,staggering a few steps to balance before he rushed like wind/a bullet. 2.三连动动作（思考主要动词之前和之后做了什么） a.主语 V1-ed, V2-ed and V3-ed =主语 V1ed, v2ing and v3ing =主语 V1 and V2, v3ing b.After v1-ing, 主语+v2-ed and v3-ed c.主语+v1ed and v2ed before ving Task 4 1)_______________________________he managed to overtake the boy ahead________________________________. 2)________________________________________.Though Ali came fourth,the boy ahead was judged disqualification since he broke the rule. 3)___________________she was overjoyed/excited to hug her brother tightly_________________________________________. Example 2 Gritting his teeth and speeding up/accelerating/quickening his speed,he managed to overtake the boy ahead,passing the finish line just in time/just in time to pass the finish line. After adjusting his pace and pumping his arms crazily,he managed to overtake the boy ahead,ending up ranking third as he had anticipated/expected. Galloping like a horse in the next 50 meters,he managed to overtake the boy ahead,collapsing onto the ground. 3.三种非谓语： a.常规非谓语to do目的 only to do 糟糕的结果 doing主动 done 被动 b.with复合结构 c.独立主格：逻辑主语（主格）+非谓语 主句...,with+ O +OC=主句...,逻辑主语+adj/介宾短语/非谓语（doing/to do/done） 常见示例：»主句，(with) 身体部位+ved(常用被动)/ving with one’s eyes fixed on.../closed/open(adj:closed关闭的，open开着的） with one’s hands/fingers/legs crossed...(交叉) with one’s hands folded(交叉合拢)/palms folded(合拢) with one’s hands/arms reaching for.../stretching out with one’s eyes wide open=pop-eyed/wide-eyed/shock-struck with one’s jaw dropping with one’s hands rubbed with one’s palms sweating with one’s lips trembling/parted/squeezed with one’s face/eyes lighting up with one’s face red/cold with a puzzled/questioning look/expression on her face »主句，(with) 情绪n+ overwhelming/consuming/overcoming sb (with) 情绪n+sweeping over/flooding over/washing over/surging through sb »主句，(with) 不同人或事+adj/adv/介宾/非谓语(可理解为主动-ing，被动就-ed) Task 5 1)__________________________________________he was announced to win third prize and awarded a new pair of shoes./He was announced to win third prize and awarded a new pair of shoes,________________________________________________________. 2)___________________________________he was content to see his sister’s smile/beam./He was content to see his sister’s smile/beam,______________________. 3)__________________________________though they led a poor life,they cared for each other and anticipated their mother’s recovery_________________________________. Example 3 Looking ahead anxiously/with anxiety/ with an anxious look,he stood still and waited for the result until he was announced to win third prize and awarded a new pair of shoes. Waiting with his eyes closed and fingers crossed, he was announced to win third prize and awarded a new pair of shoes. With his eyes fixed on the judge, he was announced to win third prize and awarded a new pair of shoes. Stretching out/Craning his neck to see the result, he was announced to win third prize and awarded a new pair of shoes. He was announced to win third prize and awarded a new pair of shoes,leaping into the air with great joy. He was announced to win third prize and awarded a new pair of shoes,with an inner voice echoing/ringing in his mind,“My effort pays off and I can keep my promise.” He was announced to win third prize and awarded a new pair of shoes,joy/delight/excitement (filling/twinkling/glistening/glittering/sparkling) in his eyes. He was announced to win third prize and awarded a new pair of shoes,days of effort flooding his mind/flashing through his mind,bringing tears to his eyes/reducing him to tears. It is time to prove your accumulation of detail description! 1.情绪表达三种 2)______________________________________he presented the shoes to his sister,_____________________________________. 2.三连动动作（思考主要动词之前和之后做了什么） 2)________________________________________.Though Ali came fourth,the boy ahead was judged disqualification since he broke the rule. 3)________________________________she was overjoyed/excited to hug her brother tightly______________________________________________________________________. 3.三种非谓语：a.常规非谓语，b.with复合结构，c.独立主格：逻辑主语（主格）+非谓语 2)___________________________________________________he was content to see his sister’s smile/beam./He was content to see his sister’s smile/beam,_____________________________________________________. 3)______________________________________though they led a poor life,they cared for each other and anticipated their mother’s recovery__________________________________. 语篇时间衔接，从句逻辑连贯 时间常见衔接： 三种从句的运用： 1)名词性从句,尤其what，it形式主语/形式宾语 2)定语从句：which，who(m)，where，when 对人物补充说明：who(m)、whose 对事情补充说明：which 对地点状语补充说明：where 对时间状语补充说明：when 3)状语从句：it was(not) long before...，the moment/the instant，so/such...that...，the 比较级...,the 比较级...,as...as...,(not/no)比较级than...,so...that... Task 5：完成至少4处看一眼立马有灵感想法的时间或从句衔接 Para 1:Ali looked up and saw the other boys rushing ahead.More than anxious to win the shoes for his sister, he picked himself up ______________________(时间衔接),struggled to his feet and tried to catch up with others.Gritting his teeth and speeding up/accelerating/quickening his speed,_____________(时间衔接）he managed to overtake the boy ahead,_______________________________ ________________(定从补充说明在Ali前面的男孩）,just in time to pass the finish line（时间衔接）. With his eyes fixed on the judge, ___________________________________ he was announced（时间衔接） to win third prize and awarded a new pair of shoes_____________________________________________________ ___________________________________（定语从句衔接/时间衔接）. Para 2:Filled with delight, Ali walked home quickly.____________________________________（时间衔接）. Too anxious to wait ,he presented the shoes,____________________________________________________（定语从句衔接）,to his sister on his arrival home(时间衔接） ,apologizing genuinely/sincerely for carelessly losing her shoes.He was content to see his sister’s beam the moment she fluttered(动：飘动；颤动；挥动） her eyelashes/cupped her mouth,curving into a smile(时间衔接),imagining/picturing them accompanying each other like peas and carrots(形影不离)_______________________________________________________________________________________（地点状从衔接）. With affection and love enveloping/wrapping/bathing them, though they led a poor life___________________________________________________________（时间衔接）,they cared for each other and anticipated their mother’s recovery,occasionally(时间衔接) helping dad with chores to relieve/ease his burden. Example Para 1:Ali looked up and saw the other boys rushing ahead.More than anxious to win the shoes for his sister, he picked himself up in an instant,struggled to his feet and tried to catch up with others.Gritting his teeth and speeding up/accelerating/quickening his speed,finally/eventually he managed to overtake the boy ahead, who elbowed him aside and knocked him down,just in time to pass the finish line.With his eyes fixed on the judge, he stood there still until he was announced to win third prize and awarded a new pair of shoes which his sister was longing for./At the news,he was reduced to tears/he was shedding tears of joy/tears misted his vision/he turned around and around,held his hands high and clapped despite himself.His face brightening/lighting up,he marched/strode forward with the confidence and pride he had never had. Para 2:Filled with delight, Ali walked home quickly.____________________________________（时间衔接）.Too anxious to wait ,he presented the shoes,__________________________________________________（定语从句衔接）,to his sister on his arrival home(时间衔接） ,apologizing genuinely/sincerely for carelessly losing her shoes.He was content to see his sister’s beam the moment she fluttered(动：飘动；颤动；挥动） her eyelashes/cupped her mouth,curving into a smile(时间衔接),imagining/picturing them accompanying each other like peas and carrots(形影不离)____________________________________________________________________（地点状从衔接）. With affection and love enveloping/wrapping/bathing them, though they led a poor life___________________________________________________________（时间衔接）,they cared for each other and anticipated their mother’s recovery,occasionally(时间衔接) helping dad with chores to relieve/ease his burden. 结尾的仪式感 组合拳——特殊句式：感叹句；强调句；there be;“最”，“第”，“回忆” 自然结尾(blessed,a blessing,小孩子：开心，高兴，蹦跳，叫着，笑着 大人：看着，满意，开心地笑，欣慰地笑） 首尾呼应:（细读首段，找灵感：换第一段的同义词或词组，不要原词重复a.同义替换，同根词重复，b.原词不同词性或不同词块） 主题升华:（原文的主旨词复现或概括） 寓情于景:声情并茂，光影成趣(时机成熟：不牵强，不晦涩，照应前文） Task 6:Create your ending. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Example 组合拳：What a tough yet sweet memory/How tough yet sweet the running race was!--It was their care and affection that carried them through the adversity one by one just as Ali ran the race,never giving up. 首尾呼应:With affection and love enveloping/wrapping/bathing them, though they struggled to make ends meet,they felt blessed to be loved and cared about by each other.Life seemed to be full of ripples of happiness and pleasure/merriment as well as adversities. Procedure for writing Reading 1.读得到位，理情节抓主旨，划伏笔思照应 Plot 2. 简构情节，观首句定走向，扣原文聚主旨 Writing 3.输出有料，练单句重衔接，润词句多雕琢 tips 同一主旨聚焦选材 二个策略简构情节 看听感想说和做 互动（三招救场） 三个单句确定走向 三句主谓句打草稿 三种手段提升句式 情动非谓语，特殊：虚叹强倒 二种意识衔接语篇 时间和从句衔接 一个结尾多种淬炼 结尾：组合拳；自然结尾；首尾呼应； 主题升华；寓情于景 虚（拟）（感）叹 倒（装）强（调） 1.故事六要素 2.情节 3.情感 4.故事主题 根据人物“所见、所闻、所说、所思、所感、所做”构想5-8个合理细节 Summary Ali looked up and saw the other boys rushing ahead.He sprang to his feet the moment he felt his sister’s eyes glaring at him eagerly.He let out a sigh of/puffed a sigh of calming down and began to dash with his teeth clenched and lips bitten as if to gather all his strength/mighty.Like an arrow,he charged at the finish line.In a flash,he was about to catch up with one of the runners ahead by an inch.All the audience cheered and roared.Then he overtook him with his head thrown faster and steps accumulated. Filled with delight, Ali walked home quickly. On entering the house,he yelled in an excited voice,holding the shoes high in the air“Zahra.Look,what’s this?”Leaping with joy,Zahra exclaimed,“Wow，fantastic!That’s what I have been longing for/dreaming of.”Hugging the shoes Ali handed to her and casting an admiring and thankful glance at/gazing at her brother,she added in a tone of gratitude,“Thank you,Ali.You are always my hero.”From then on,the siblings accompanied each other:going to school together and practising running together,their laughters echoing all the way.It was their encouragement and company that pulled them through tough days and led them to strive for a promising future.The shoes witnessed their love and understanding. Thank you for your listening $$