2023届湖北省黄冈市高三英语读后续写说课8 课件

读后续写的讲与练 -以2022新高考I卷为例 Contents 01 03 02 04 Teaching aims Teaching reflection Teaching procedures Teaching philosophy 2 01 Teaching philosophy 读后续写题会提供一段350词以内的语言材料,要求考生根据该材料内容和所给段落开头语进行续写(150词左右),将其发展成一篇与给定材料有逻辑衔接、情节和结构完整的短文。 评分要点： (1) 与所给短文及段落开头语的衔接程度 (2) 内容、语法结构、词汇的丰富性和准确性 (3) 上下文的连贯性 考查：阅读能力（读懂原文）、逻辑思维（情节连贯）、写作能力（模仿创造） Interpretation of test type What they have 至少五年的英语学习经验 至少两年的读后续写经验 具备一定的阅读和写作能力 What they lack “无话可说”或“肚子里有货倒不出来” 缺乏情节设计 不注重分析原文语言风格，盲目追求“高级”，变成“草帽配皮鞋” 写前无大纲，“想到哪里写哪里” 句子“缺胳膊少腿”而不自知 Analysis of the students 02 Teaching aims Teaching objectives Language proficiency Cultural awareness Thinking quality Learning ability 准确理解原文的人物性格、故事情节、语言特点 模仿原文语言，使用替换词和类似句子结构，使语言风格协同 在原文基础上创造新的内容情节 了解英文短篇故事的情节发展套路 与原文内容保持融洽，形成有效协同 与原文合理衔接 通过自查与互批从错误中学习 At the end of this class, students will be able to: 7 03 Teaching procedures Step 1 Understanding the given text Who 动作（v.） 情绪/心理（adj.） 特点（n.或短语） 角色1     角色2       角色3     角色4       What关键句(问题与矛盾) P1P2关键词   3W1H(where/when/why/how)   各类描写占比 环境/动作/情绪/心理描写的占比顺序从高到低为： . 读懂原文分四步，表格填写要记住 平时大量训练，考试才能游刃有余。 Step 1 Understanding the given text 第一步：找who 找who: 1.who可以是人，也可以是事物/动物。且分主要角色和次要角色。 2.只要是出现的人物，都必须找出，以便描写各人物的反应与人物之间的互动。(解决“无话可说”) It was the day of the big cross-country run. Students from seven different primary schools in and around the small town were warming up and walking the route (路线) through thick evergreen forest. I looked around and finally spotted David, who was standing by himself off to the side by a fence. He was small for ten years old. His usual big toothy smile was absent today. I walked over and asked him why he wasn’t with the other children. He hesitated and then said he had decided not to run. What was wrong? He had worked so hard for this event! I quickly searched the crowd for the school’s coach and asked him what had happened. “I was afraid that kids from other schools would laugh at him, ” he explained uncomfortably. “I gave him the choice to run or not, and let him decide.” I bit back my frustration ( 懊 恼 ). I knew the coach meant well — he thought he was doing the right thing. After making sure that David could run if he wanted, I turned to find him coming towards me, his small body rocking from side to side as he swung his feet forward. David had a brain disease which prevented him from walking or running like other children, but at school his classmates thought of him as a regular kid. He always participated to the best of his ability in whatever they were doing. That was why none of the children thought it unusual that David had decided to join the cross-country team. It just took him longer — that’s all. David had not missed a single practice, and although he always finished his run long after the other children, he did always finish. As a special education teacher at the school, I was familiar with the challenges David faced and was proud of his strong determination. …competitors run fast like arrows… (人人有交代) Step 1 Understanding the given text 第二步：找词 找动词/形容词/名词/短语（找主要人物即可） 在续写时可突出其特点，性格决定命运/情节。(融洽不离题) 在续写时可用其替换词进行人物描写。(解决“肚子里有货倒不出来”) 学生模仿展示 upset; discouraged; depressed; be in low spirits His big toothy smile has come back Step 1 Understanding the given text 第三步：找句 找what: 划关键句，即问题，来延续情节，解决问题，保证事事有结局 (解决“缺乏情节设计”) It was the day of the big cross-country run. Students from seven different primary schools in and around the small town were warming up and walking the route (路线) through thick evergreen forest. I looked around and finally spotted David, who was standing by himself off to the side by a fence. He was small for ten years old. His usual big toothy smile was absent today. I walked over and asked him why he wasn’t with the other children. He hesitated and then said he had decided not to run. What was wrong? He had worked so hard for this event! I quickly searched the crowd for the school’s coach and asked him what had happened. “I was afraid that kids from other schools would laugh at him, ” he explained uncomfortably. “I gave him the choice to run or not, and let him decide.” I bit back my frustration ( 懊 恼 ). I knew the coach meant well — he thought he was doing the right thing. After making sure that David could run if he wanted, I turned to find him coming towards me, his small body rocking from side to side as he swung his feet forward. David had a brain disease which prevented him from walking or running like other children, but at school his classmates thought of him as a regular kid. He always participated to the best of his ability in whatever they were doing. That was why none of the children thought it unusual that David had decided to join the cross-country team. It just took him longer — that’s all. David had not missed a single practice, and although he always finished his run long after the other children, he did always finish. As a special education teacher at the school, I was familiar with the challenges David faced and was proud of his strong determination. We sat down next to each other, but David wouldn't look at me. I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners. conflict：David不愿意参加跑步比赛 Step 1 Understanding the given text 第四步：找描写 找各类描写： 优先让续写与原文占比一致(解决“草帽配皮鞋”) 语法句式方面，可保持一致，也可模仿好句(解决“肚子里有货倒不出来”) It was the day of the big cross-country run. Students from seven different primary schools in and around the small town were warming up and walking the route (路线) through thick evergreen forest. I looked around and finally spotted David, who was standing by himself off to the side by a fence. He was small for ten years old. His usual big toothy smile was absent today. I walked over and asked him why he wasn’t with the other children. He hesitated and then said he had decided not to run. What was wrong? He had worked so hard for this event! I quickly searched the crowd for the school’s coach and asked him what had happened. “I was afraid that kids from other schools would laugh at him,” he explained uncomfortably. “I gave him the choice to run or not, and let him decide.” I bit back my frustration ( 懊 恼 ). I knew the coach meant well — he thought he was doing the right thing. After making sure that David could run if he wanted, I turned to find him coming towards me, his small body rocking from side to side as he swung his feet forward. David had a brain disease which prevented him from walking or running like other children, but at school his classmates thought of him as a regular kid. He always participated to the best of his ability in whatever they were doing. That was why none of the children thought it unusual that David had decided to join the cross-country team. It just took him longer — that’s all. David had not missed a single practice, and although he always finished his run long after the other children, he did always finish. As a special education teacher at the school, I was familiar with the challenges David faced and was proud of his strong determination. We sat down next to each other, but David wouldn't look at me. I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners. 各类描写：环境/动作/情绪/心理 动作描写为主，情绪/心理描写为辅 It was the day of the big cross-country run. Students from seven different primary schools in and around the small town were warming up and walking the route (路线) through thick evergreen forest. I looked around and finally spotted David, who was standing by himself off to the side by a fence. He was small for ten years old. His usual big toothy smile was absent today. I walked over and asked him why he wasn’t with the other children. He hesitated and then said he had decided not to run. What was wrong? He had worked so hard for this event! I quickly searched the crowd for the school’s coach and asked him what had happened. “I was afraid that kids from other schools would laugh at him, ” he explained uncomfortably. “I gave him the choice to run or not, and let him decide.” I bit back my frustration ( 懊 恼 ). I knew the coach meant well — he thought he was doing the right thing. After making sure that David could run if he wanted, I turned to find him coming towards me, his small body rocking from side to side as he swung his feet forward. David had a brain disease which prevented him from walking or running like other children, but at school his classmates thought of him as a regular kid. He always participated to the best of his ability in whatever they were doing. That was why none of the children thought it unusual that David had decided to join the cross-country team. It just took him longer — that’s all. David had not missed a single practice, and although he always finished his run long after the other children, he did always finish. As a special education teacher at the school, I was familiar with the challenges David faced and was proud of his strong determination. 红色：定语从句，名词性从句 绿色：动作链 蓝色：状语从句，无灵主语，非 谓语，副词，连词 不宜有过多的复杂语法结构，语言风格应像原文一样朴素，自然 It was the day of the big cross-country run. Students from seven different primary schools in and around the small town were warming up and walking the route (路线) through thick evergreen forest. I looked around and finally spotted David, who was standing by himself off to the side by a fence. He was small for ten years old. His usual big toothy smile was absent today. I walked over and asked him why he wasn’t with the other children. He hesitated and then said he had decided not to run. What was wrong? He had worked so hard for this event! I quickly searched the crowd for the school’s coach and asked him what had happened. “I was afraid that kids from other schools would laugh at him, ” he explained uncomfortably. “I gave him the choice to run or not, and let him decide.” I bit back my frustration ( 懊 恼 ). I knew the coach meant well — he thought he was doing the right thing. After making sure that David could run if he wanted, I turned to find him coming towards me, his small body rocking from side to side as he swung his feet forward. David had a brain disease which prevented him from walking or running like other children, but at school his classmates thought of him as a regular kid. He always participated to the best of his ability in whatever they were doing. That was why none of the children thought it unusual that David had decided to join the cross-country team. It just took him longer — that’s all. David had not missed a single practice, and although he always finished his run long after the other children, he did always finish. As a special education teacher at the school, I was familiar with the challenges David faced and was proud of his strong determination. 红色：定语从句，名词性从句 绿色：动作链 蓝色：状语从句，无灵主语，非 谓语，副词，连词 不宜有过多的复杂语法结构，语言风格应像原文一样朴素，自然 高考阅卷老师反馈： 不要拽文；不要炫技； 不要生僻词；不要大词； 不要堆砌；不要矫揉造作； 不要“草帽配皮鞋” 高中生的作文要有高中生的样子 学生习作展示 学生习作展示 Step 2 Outlining the contents 写大纲，定十句（五句已定，五句发挥） P1: We sat down next to each other, but David wouldn't look at me. ① 接着P1 （心理/动作链） ② ③ ④ ⑤ 根据P2 P2: I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners. ⑥ 接着P2（心理/动作链） ⑦ ⑧ ⑨ 结局 （照应首段/解决矛盾） ⑩ 升华 （价值观/画面定格） 衔接！衔接！衔接！ 学生大纲展示 学生大纲展示 学生大纲展示 学生大纲展示 学生大纲展示 Step 3 Improving the writing Based on the analysis of the given text and the outline, students can either improve their writings or rewrite the writing. Four steps to review and perfect Students’ writing 01 03 02 04 A. Self-check D. Guidance from the teacher B. Peer grading C. Personalized review Step 4 Reviewing the writing 提供明确的衡量标准 To guide, not to tell 29 Step 4 Reviewing the writing Step A Self-check Self-check list I am sure I spelt every word correctly. (每个单词都拼写正确了) I began every sentence with a capital letter. （每句话的第一个字母都大写了） I capitalized all proper nouns (names, cities, countries, etc.). (专有名词第一个字母都大写了） I ended every sentence with the correct punctuation. （我使用了正确的标点符号来结束每一句话） I used commas correctly in compound sentence. （在并列句中我正确使用了逗号） I checked that each sentence has a subject and a verb. (我检查了每一个句子都有主语和谓语) The verbs agree with the subjects in number and person. (谓语动词和主语在人称和数上一致) I used the correct tense for each sentence and the entire passage. （每个句子和整篇文章都使用了正确的时态） I used personal pronouns correctly. (人称代词使用正确) I copied out my composition with beautiful handwriting. （我用漂亮的书法写了作文） I wrote the two paragraphs in similar length.(我两个续写段落长度大致差不多) I finished my passage in approximately 130-170 words in total.(我文章的字数大概在130到170之间) 学生纠错展示 学生纠错展示 Step 4 Reviewing the writing Step B Peer Grading 难理解，难把握 Step 4 Reviewing the writing Step B Group Grading 评价内容 评价标准 定位 得分 语篇内容Content(8) C8(7-8分) 情节设计合理，能适当发挥使内容充实；与所给短文融洽度高，与各个段落开头语衔接合理。 C6(5-6分) 情节设计较为合理，个人发挥较少，内容欠充实；与所给短文基本融洽，与各个段落开头语衔接合理。 C4(3-4分) 情节设计上存在突兀的地方，匆匆结尾，表意不够完整；体现不了衔接与融洽。 C2(1-2分) 情节设计上存在突兀的地方，续写没写完，表意不够完整。 C0(0分) 只写出少量词语，不能清晰表达语义。     篇章结构Structure(7) S7(6-7分) 逻辑清晰且顺畅，能正确使用衔接词或连词等过渡性语言，行文连贯。 S5(3-5分) 语句间逻辑关系相对清晰，过渡衔接不是很流畅。 S2(1-2分) 语句间逻辑关系有点混乱，想到哪里写哪里，过渡较少。 S0(0分) 只写出只言片语，无过渡可言。     词汇语法Language(8) L8(7-8分) 能准确使用丰富的词汇句型进行表达，语句通顺且表意明确。 L6(5-6分) 能使用简单常用的词汇句型进行表达，有些许用词或语法上的错误，但尚可达意。 L4(3-4分) 有较多词汇和语法错误，影响表意；出现拼写错误。 L2(1-2分) 没有清晰的语法意识，不能达意；只能传达少量信息。 L0(0分) 无意义的单词堆砌。     书写Handwriting(2) H2(2分) 书写工整，卷面整洁，比较清晰的英语手写体，字数符合要求。 H1(1分) 书写清晰，可读；少量单词书写潦草不能辨别；字数基本符合要求。 H0(0分) 书写不规范或难辨认；单词与单词间无合适空隙，阅读困难；字数不够或者超过规定字数太多。     最后得分   学生互评展示 Step 4 Reviewing the writing Step C Personalized review 教师批改 C(concord):主谓不一致 CH(Chinglish):中式英语 G(grammar):语法错误 M(meaning):意义不清 Ir(irrelevant formation):无关信息 P(punctuation):标点用错 PC(phrase collocation):短语搭配错误 PE(preposition error):介词使用错误 S(spelling):拼写错误 S/P(single/plural):n./pron.单复数错误 T(tense):时态错误 V(vocabulary):用词不当 WO(word order):词序不当 ∧(word missing):漏写单词 POS(part of speech error):词性使用错误 … 教师批改展示 谋篇布局 教师讲评 Step 4 Reviewing the writing Step D Guidance from the teacher 情节设计 句式升级 。。。 常见误区： David身体不适但完成比赛 David摔倒 David得第一名 。。。 常见误区： 过渡生硬(一句Don’t be afraid! I trust you打动David) 上句I下句He，无过渡 常用方法： 前后句因果关系→with复合结构 “句号+It” →“逗号+which” 并列句→非谓语 。。。 38 04 Teaching reflection Teaching pattern 01 02 03 04 读懂原文分四步 大纲五定十句法 词汇句型多积累 讲评四步效率高 可应用于任何一篇读后续写 Practice makes perfect! 40 41 践行英语学习活动观 Education is not the filling of a bucket, but the lighting of a fire. Thanks for listening! $$