云南省昆明市2023-2024学年高一下学期期末统测读后续写写作评析---汉娜的秘密图书馆 讲义

24年7月5日昆明市高一期末统测读后续写 阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。 Once upon a time, on a land far away, there was a small village where the villagers lived a happy life. All of them were used to their robotic daily tasks and none of them would try something new, except one girl named Hannah. Very few people in the village could read or write, and Hannah was one of them. She loved to explore and would spend hours in the forests looking for new things. One afternoon, when two of her friends, Amma and Lily, and she were on their adventurous trip, they came upon an abandoned (废弃的) small wooden house. The house looked very old. "If we meet anything terrible, I am out of here!" Lily cried. "Look at those overgrown grass. It seems like a place forgotten by time." Amma followed. Despite Mom’s warning against going around in abandoned places, Hannah’s curiosity got the better of her. Heart pounding wildly, she tip-toed (踮着脚尖走) to the door and slowly opened it and she was left surprised. In front of Hannah was a room full of books — books shining in the dust, bathed in the warm sunlight just waiting to be explored. Hannah’s excitement was obvious on her face as she jumped up and down with joy! Hannah took a quick breath as she realized that she had found a hidden treasure. She dusted the books, the shelves, and what was left on the table. In her excitement, Hannah shared everything with her friends. She was thinking that her friends would share her excitement but instead, she heard roars of laughter! Lily laughed, “Books? What’s the point of those dusty old things? We have everything we need provided by our parents. You’re wasting your time, Hannah.” Another friend, Amma, cut in, “Yeah, I heard that reading too much messes up your head. Why trouble to do that when we have our usual life to live?” Paragraph 1: Hannah was confused by the response and a little hurt too. ______________________________________________________________________________ Paragraph 2: She wanted to share the treasure with everyone though it might be difficult. ______________________________________________________________________________  故事中文梗概 从前，在一个遥远的小村庄里，村民们过着平静的生活，习惯了机械化的日常生活，除了一个叫Hannah的女孩。Hannah喜欢探索，村里很少有人读书识字，而她是其中之一。 有一天，Hannah和她的朋友Amma和Lily发现了一座废弃的小木屋，里面满是书。尽管妈妈警告过不要去废弃的地方，Hannah还是忍不住好奇心走了进去，发现了这些书。她兴奋地与朋友们分享，但朋友们却嘲笑她对书的热爱，认为读书是浪费时间。然而，Hannah觉得自己发现了一笔隐藏的宝藏，决定继续探索这些书籍的奥秘…   主要人物：Hannah 次要人物：Amma, Lily, other villagers 叙事视角：第三人称视角 本主题语境分类：人与自我-生活与学习-认识自我、丰富自我、完善自我 续写思路建议 第一段，看到朋友们的反应，Hannah 感到内心有些小小的失望。一种合理的续写创设是：在现场（废弃的木屋里）Hannah耐心地向Amma 和 Lily解释书籍和读书的好处，但却没能改变他们的看法。为了和续写第二段开头句顺利衔接，第一段的末尾处应该有Hannah还是执意把一些书带回了村里的描述。 第二段，应该重点写Hannah是如何向村民们传播读书识字的意识的。这一段的续写应该以Hannah从小木屋里带回来的书作为内容创设的主要载体。 写作示范 Hannah was confused by the response and a little hurt too. She couldn't understand why her friends didn't see the value in the books. Hannah had always found joy and adventure in reading, and she believed these books held countless stories and knowledge just waiting to be explored. Taking a deep breath, she tried to explain, "These books are treasures! They can teach us so much and take us to places we've never been." But Amma and Lily just shrugged and turned away, uninterested. Feeling a mix of sadness and determination, Hannah decided she wouldn't give up on the books so easily. She carefully selected a few to take home.（99 words）   She wanted to share the treasure with everyone though it might be difficult. Over the next few days, Hannah read the books with enthusiasm, sharing stories and facts with anyone who would listen. Some villagers grew curious. One evening, she invited Amma and Lily to her house and read aloud. Reluctant at first, they soon were captivated. Encouraged, Hannah proposed creating a village library. With the villagers' support, they designated a village house as the library. Then, Hannah and the villagers returned to the small wooden house and brought the remaining books to the new library. As more villagers became interested in the books, they decided to start learning to read. The library became a place of learning and adventure, transforming the village forever. (111 words)  写作细节分析 Hannah was confused by the response and a little hurt too. She couldn't understand why her friends didn't see the value in the books.（合理的解释：不理解朋友们的想法）Hannah had always found joy and adventure in reading, and she believed these books held countless stories and knowledge just waiting to be explored. Taking a deep breath, she tried to explain, "These books are treasures! They can teach us so much and take us to places we've never been."（合理的内容创设：不轻易放弃，试图说服朋友) But Amma and Lily just shrugged and turned away, uninterested.（合理的内容创设：朋友们没有那么容易被说服）Feeling a mix of sadness and determination, Hannah decided she wouldn't give up on the books so easily. She carefully selected a few to take home. （和下文顺畅衔接）               She wanted to share the treasure with everyone though it might be difficult. Over the next few days, Hannah read the books with enthusiasm, sharing stories and facts with anyone who would listen. (合理内容创设：不放弃每一个原意听她讲故事的村民) Some villagers grew curious. One evening, she invited Amma and Lily to her house and read aloud. Reluctant at first, they soon were captivated. (次要人物也给到适当的戏份）Encouraged, Hannah proposed creating a village library. With the villagers' support, they designated a village house as the library.（合理内容创设：建立图书馆造福村民）Then, Hannah and the villagers returned to the small wooden house and brought the remaining books to the new library.（合理内容创设：续写的第一段末尾提到，Hannah只拿来很少的几本书回来）As more villagers became interested in the books, they decided to start learning to read. The library became a place of learning and adventure, transforming the village forever.（正能量结局设定：读书改变乡村、知识改变命运） 词汇和表达积累 shrug v. 耸肩 turn away  转身离开 uninterested  adj. 不感兴趣的 enthusiasm  n. 热情 grow curious v. 变得好奇 reluctant  adj. 不情愿 captivate v.  迷住 propose  v.  提议 designate v. 指定 transform  v. 改变 下水文 Hannah was confused by the response and a little hurt too. She couldn't understand why her friends didn't see the value in these books, which to her were gateways to new worlds and knowledge. As she looked at the laughter on their faces, she felt a pang of disappointment. But her love for exploration and the thirst for knowledge were too strong to be dampened by their skepticism. She decided to keep the discovery to herself, vowing to return to the wooden house alone and delve into the wisdom contained within its pages. She wanted to share the treasure with everyone though it might be difficult. Hannah knew that change was often met with resistance, especially in a village where traditions and routines were deeply rooted. But she also believed that knowledge was power, and the power of these books could transform the lives of her fellow villagers. With a determined heart, she began to formulate a plan. She would start by reading as much as she could, absorbing the stories and lessons that the books held. Then, she would find a way to subtly introduce the concepts and ideas she learned to her friends and the rest of the village, hoping that the seeds of curiosity she planted would one day grow into a forest of enlightenment. 学科网（北京）股份有限公司 $$