内容正文:
满分作文 (题目①)
便利的笔记本电脑
Technology is now becoming more and more important in our life. As a student, I have found that my laptop is the most practical device.亮点赏析
First and foremost, it is the laptops that make it more convenient for those who are always on the way to work or study. What's more, laptops enable me to easily keep in touch with classmates and teachers, access a wealth of online information for studying and complete assignments efficiently.Additionally, my laptop provides a range of entertainment options, such as streaming movies, relaxing music as well as some socializing games. Overall, as long as the laptops are wisely used, they can bring convenience and fun to my daily life.运用强调句 it is... that...表明笔记本电脑给人们工作、学习及生活中带来的便捷,句型高级;
In summary, the development of intelligent devices like laptops has made our life more convenient and colorful. And I hope that technology will continue to improve our lives in many positive ways.用 In summary 引出对全文的总结,点明智能设备的发展日益造福人类生活,升华文章主题。
用 such as 列举了笔记本电脑可提供的三种娱乐方式,丰富文章细节;
本文审题到位,结构清晰,表达简洁有力。文章首段交代了笔记本电脑是作者认为最实用的设备,正文从学习和娱乐两个方面阐述了笔记本电脑给自己生活带来的便利,最后一段总结全文并表达了对未来科技发展的憧憬。作者对于一些高级短语能够运用自如,如market more convenient for... , keep in touch with... , a range of... , intelligent devices等,丰富了文章语言,增强了文章的可读性,值得借鉴。
一 句 多 表 达
Overall, as long as the laptops are wisely used, they can bring convenience and fun to my daily life.(第二段最后一句)
Generally speaking, the laptops can bring convenience and fun to my daily life on the condition that I use them wisely.
Generally speaking 相当于 Overall,表示“大体上”, on the condition that和 as long as 都可以引导条件状语从句,表示“在此条件下/只要”。
健康小助手
Technology is now becoming more and more important in our life. With so many apps available, it can be hard to know which ones are worth downloading. One app that I highly recommend is the one which helps exercise.亮点赏析
With 介词短语表明许多应用程序方便了人们的生活,为下文引出运动软件作铺垫;
To begin with, it offers thousands of free exercise courses with detailed instructions. Whether you are a beginner or a master, you can find a course that meets your needs.Besides, the routines in these videos are simple and don't require any special equipment, which greatly saves people's time and money. In addition, using this app, people are able to manage their running pace by recording distance and minutes. Last but not least, many colorful activities are held by this app to motivate people to make exercise a habit.Whether 引导让步状语从句说明了该软件上的课程可以满足个性化需求,凸显其实用性;
In conclusion, it is a practical tool that inspires people to keep doing sports and stay healthy. If you are determined to stay in shape, I strongly recommend this app to you!本句巧用副词 strongly 表达了作者对该应用程序的强烈推荐。
名师点评
文章主题明确,紧扣所给要点,语言精练,内容充实。正文部分,作者详细介绍了此程序的优点,吸引读者使用此应用程序。语言表达上,作者能够运用多样化的句式结构和衔接词串联全文,比如To begin with, Besides, In addition, Last but not least, In conclusion等,使得文章层次清晰,衔接连贯;也运用了 which引导的定语从句、if引导的条件状语从句等,增强了文章可读性。
一 句 多 表 达
With so many apps available, it can be hard to know which ones are worth downloading.(第一段第二句)
There are so many apps to choose from, making it difficult to determine which ones are worth downloading.
用 There be句型替换原句中的 with+宾语+宾补;用现在分词 making it difficult to...替换原句中的it can be hard to...句型,均表示“做······是困难的”。
【你来仿写】
显而易见,手机使人们之间的联系更方便。(用 make it+adj.+to do sth.)
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
参考答案:Obviously, smart phones make it more convenient for people to communicate with each other.
满分作文(题目②)
一次向他人求助的经历
Asking for help plays an important role in our life. I used to think that asking for help was a sign of weakness, but an experience changed my view.亮点赏析
that 引导的宾语从句表达了作者过去对求助他人的看法,连词 but 表转折,使前后形成对比;
It was a hot evening during my eighth-grade year when I became frustrated with a difficult math problem. After thinking about it for a long time without any result, I finally decided to pick up the courage to call a friend for help. To my surprise,instead of laughing at me for my shortcoming, he patiently explained the concept and helped me improve my understanding. As a result, I was able to solve the problem and gain confidence in my math.巧用instead of 突出对比,与上文 观 点 呼 应;同 时 用 副词patiently 展现朋友耐心解答的场景,富有画面感;
From the experience,I have learned that asking for help is a chance to grow and improve ourselves. At the same time, I have realized the importance of having a supportive friend who is willing to lend a helping hand.who 引导定语从句,进一步解释 friend,同时表达出拥有乐于助人的朋友的重要性。
名师点评
文章结构清晰,内容充实,分别讲述了作者先前错误的观念、成功求助他人的经历和自己的收获。此外,还在开头和结尾处进行了呼应,加强了整篇文章的连贯性;表达上,语言地道,宾语从句、定语从句以及亮点词汇 weakness, frustrated, shortcoming, supportive等的使用,使文章辞藻华丽,是一篇值得学习的佳作。
一 句 多 表 达
From the experience, I have learned that asking for help is a chance to grow and improve ourselves.(最后一段第一句)
This experience taught me that it is a good chance to grow and improve ourselves by asking for help.
it is a good chance to do sth. by doing sth.= doing sth. is a chance to do sth.两句都表示了寻求帮助对于自身成长的作用。
【你来仿写】
参加演讲比赛是一个很好的培养自信心的机会。(用It is a good chance to do sth.)
参考答案:It is a good chance to build up confidence by taking part in speech contests.
寻求帮助,突破自我
Asking for help plays an important role in our life. I still remember a time when I had problems with a difficult programming task. Feeling overwhelmed, I decided to reach out to a senior developer for assistance.亮点赏析
现在分词作状语,描述了作者情绪低落的状态,进而萌生向他人求助的决定;
Recommended by my father, I was lucky to meet several programmers who have worked for years with rich experience.Beyond my expectation, they were willing to help me and patiently explained the concepts to me. Not only did I solve the problem at hand, but I also gained a deeper understanding of the programming language. More importantly, those warm-hearted developers encouraged me to work hard and allowed me to feel free to ask them questions whenever I needed help.巧用 Not only...but also...短语,并结合半倒装句式,阐述了自己求助他人后的收获,内容丰富,句式高级;
Through this experience,I come to realize that asking for help is not a sign of weakness but a step towards finding solutions and advancing our own learning. I also get to understand the power of seeking guidance actively.本句总结感受,语言精练;用 not... but... 结构表达了向他人求助的好处,语言简洁有力。
名师点评
本文结构清晰,层次分明。首段介绍了自己的困境,正文叙述了积极寻求帮助的经历,结尾总结感受。整篇文章思路清晰,条理分明,逻辑性强。表达上,使用了形象的语言来描述感受和经历,使文章更具生动性。同时,非谓语动词、who引导的定语从句、倒装句等的运用,使文章表达多样化。总之,整篇文章选材新颖,情感真挚,值得学习。
一 句 多 表 达
Recommended by my father, I was lucky to meet several programmers...(第二段第一句)
With my father's recommendation, I had the opportunity to meet several programmers...
with one's recommendation 表示在某人的推荐下;用 have the opportunity to do sth.替换 be lucky to do sth.,两句都表达了“在父亲的推荐下,作者有幸结识了几位工作多年、经验丰富的程序员”。
【你来仿写】
在我的数学老师的推荐下,我有机会参加了这次数学竞赛。(用with one's recommendation)
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
参考答案:With my math teacher's recommendation, I had the opportunity to take part in the math competition.
传统节日——春节
Dear Chris, 亮点赏析
I'm glad that you are interested in Chinese traditional festivals. There are many festivals in China and my favorite is the Spring Festival. Let me tell you more details about it.
The Spring Festival is one of the most important festivals in China. During this festival, families get together and visit relatives and friends. The festival lasts for 15 days, and each day has its own unique customs. People clean their homes before the festival to sweep away bad luck from the past year and welcome good luck in the new year. Special dishes are prepared, such as dumplings, which are believed to bring good luck. Overall, the Spring Festival is a time of great joy and celebration, and it's a good way to connect with families and friends.to do sth.不定式作目的状语,说明打扫房间的原因及寓意,增强语言的可读性;
巧用one of+形容词最高级+名词复数表明春节在中国传统文化中的重要地位;
I hope the above is helpful. Please feel free to ask for more information.结尾句显示了作者对春节的喜爱和对中国传统文化的赞赏,升华主题。
Yours,
Li Hua
名师点评
文章审题明确,要点齐全。作者详细介绍了中国春节的时间、习俗和意义,让读者对春节有了更深入的了解。同时,还表达了自己对春节的喜爱和对中国传统文化的赞赏,增强了文章的感染力。语言上,作者用词精准,句式多样,有许多十分地道的表达及高级句式,使得文章精彩纷呈。好的表达,加上丰富的内容,为我们呈现了一篇值得学习的佳作。
一 句 多 表 达
People clean their homes before the festival to sweep away bad luck...(第二段第四句)
Before the festival starts, people clean their homes to get rid of bad luck...
变换后的句子用before 引导的时间状语从句代替原句中的时间状语 before the festival,用 get rid of 替换 sweep away,两句都说明了春节前人们会打扫房屋迎新年。
【你来仿写】
在你去某个国家旅行之前,最好先了解一下这个国家的文化。(用before引导的时间状语从句)
参考答案:Before travelling to a country, you'd better learn about the culture of this country first.
满分作文 (题目②)
迎难而上
We all face problems in our daily life. What counts is that we should actively respond and find ways to solve the problems.亮点赏析
Recently, my computer suddenly stopped working while I was in the middle of an important project. I tried to re start it,but it didn't help. I felt nervous and frustrated. At this point, I calmed myself down and realized I couldn't solve this problem by myself and I'd better ask others for help. Fortunately, I remembered a friend who is good with computers. I called him and explained the problem I met. He advised me to check the power supply and offered other troubleshooting steps.Following his advice, I identified the problem and fixed it.使用who引导的定语从句对朋友进行修饰限定,增加细节描写;
while引导的时间状语从句表明了电脑出问题时作者的学习状态;
What I have learned from this experience is that it's necessary to seek advice from others when facing problems.And it is of great importance to maintain a peaceful mind.What 引导的主语从句强调了在面对问题时寻求他人建议的重要性,升华主题。
名师点评
全文结构分明,层次清晰,情感细腻。开头引出了文章主题,正文部分详细描述了自己遇到的问题以及通过朋友的帮助解决问题的过程,结尾总结了自己的收获。文章语言表达多样化,高级短语如ask sb. for help, advise sb. to do sth. , be of great importance等的运用,提升了文章档次。同时,作者还用了一些描述情感和状态的词语,使文章更加生动有趣。
一 句 多 表 达
I calmed myself down and realized I couldn't solve this problem by myself and I'd better ask others for help.(第二段第四句)
I calmed myself down and realized I was unable to solve this problem by myself and I'd better reach out for assistance.
变换后的句子用was unable to 替换原句中的 couldn't,用reach out for assistance 代替ask others for help。两句都体现了作者的心理活动并意识到需要寻求帮助。
【你来仿写】
当你遇到困难时,应先自己寻找解决问题的办法,而不是立刻寻求帮助。(用 reach out for assistance)
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
参考答案:When you meet difficulties, you should find ways to solve the problem by yourself first, rather than reach out for assistance immediately.
直面困难
We all face problems in our daily life. If we work hard to solve the problems, we can figure out solutions.亮点赏析
Several days ago, I prepared for a presentation with three classmates and each of us was responsible for a different section.As the deadline was approaching, Davy, one of my group members, had to drop out because of a sudden illness. Being the group leader, I must take actions quickly, so I held a meeting to discuss how to move on. All the members agreed to split Davy's task and we encouraged each other so as to complete the project as fast as we could. We spent two nights researching and gathering information. After a few rounds of editing and refining,we finally completed the presentation successfully.现在分词作状语,表达自己作为小组长;how+动词不定式说明了开会讨论的主要内容,细节描写具体,句式高级;
If 引导的条件状语从句设定了努力这一解决问题的前提,引出下文;
I've learned something important through this experience.When we face unexpected situations, it is important to stay calm and focus on finding a proper solution. Besides, discussing together as a team and encouraging each other can help solve problems more efficiently.When 引导的时间状语从句及it is+adj. +to do sth. 句型总结全文,升华文章主题。
名师点评
文章主题明确,结构清晰。内容方面,作者很生动地描述了一个团队在遇到困难时是如何迎难而上、相互合作的过程。语言方面,通过运用一些连接词和高级句式,如figure out,be responsible for, agree to do sth., so as to, 条件状语从句、时间状语从句等,使文章语言更优美,内容更饱满,值得学习。
一 句 多 表 达
If we work hard to solve the problems, we can figure out solutions.(第一段第二句)
As long as we work hard to solve the problems, we can come up with solutions.
变换后的句子用As long as替换原句中的If,均引导条件状语从句;用 come up with替换原句中的 figure out。两句都点明了努力解决问题的重要意义。
【你来仿写】
这些学生一起合作,提出了很多新想法。(用come up with)
参考答案:These students worked together and came up with many new ideas.
无规矩不成方圆
Dear teachers and fellows, 亮点赏析
I am glad to be here, telling you about my family rules. Just as the saying goes, “ Nothing can be accomplished without rules.”My family rules have helped me in many aspects.开头引用谚语无规矩不成方圆引出话题家规,主题明确,表达地道;
First of all, one of the most important rules for me is to show respect when communicating with others, especially with my parents. This rule has taught me the value of listening carefully and expressing myself in a respectful manner.Secondly, I'm not allowed to watch TV after nine o'clock at night and I must go to bed before 10 pm. I totally agree with this rule because it is important for me to have enough sleep.What's more, I am required to take responsibility for the housework, which allows me to become more independent.用 when引导的时间状语从句,进一步扩写本条家规的条件,内容充实;
In conclusion, it is these rules that have helped me become a better person and have a harmonious family atmosphere. I will be committed to following these rules in the future.结尾用强调句it is... that...总结全文,再次表明家规对自己和家庭的积极影响。
because 引导原因状语从句,介绍提出该条规则的原因,使其更具有说服力;
Thanks for listening.
名师点评
该习作完全符合题目要求,结构严谨,要点齐全。作者介绍了家里的三条规则,并以夹叙夹议的形式阐述了家规对自己的积极影响,用到衔接词First of all, Secondly, What's more等使每条家规之间的衔接更加紧密。除此之外,文章中多种高级句式,如时间状语从句、原因状语从句、非限制性定语从句、强调句等的运用使文章更加出彩。
一 句 多 表 达
In conclusion, it is these rules that have helped me become a better person...(第三段第一句)
To sum up, these rules definitely have contributed to my personal growth...
析变换后的句子用 To sum up 代替原句中的 In conclusion,用 contribute to 替换原句中的help sb.do sth.,两句都强调了家规对作者个人性格塑造和家庭氛围构建方面的影响。
【你还可以这样表达】
(用动名词作主语和 enable sb. to do sth.)
参考答案:In summary, following these rules has enabled me to become a better person.
满分作文 (题目②)
反思成就自我
Reflection is very important in our life. It encourages us to reconsider some moments in the past and helps us realize how we could have done better.亮点赏析
运用 encourage sb. to do sth.和help sb. do sth.点出了自我反思的好处,主题明确,表达丰富;
I still remember the final exam in Grade 7 when I was so stressed that I couldn't fall asleep well at night. What's worse,I fell ill on the day before the exam. Obviously, I didn't do well in the exam. In the beginning, I blamed my poor performance on my illness and lack of sleep. But after I reflected my behaviors throughout the term, I realized that it was because I hadn't paid enough attention in class. From then on, I constantly reminded myself to listen to the teachers carefully. Ultimately, I achieved a satisfying result in the next exam.巧用连词 But 表转折,逻辑连贯;because 引导的表语从句扩写表现不佳的原因,内容充实;
This experience has taught me that reflecting can help us perform tasks more effectively. So remember to do regular self-reflection to become better ourselves.祈使句结尾,呼吁读者学会反思,成就更好的自己。首尾呼应,号召力强。
名师点评
文章详略得当,重点突出,条理清晰,衔接有序。第一段引出“反思”这一话题,第二段通过“I still remember...”引出自己进行反思的事例,结尾段通过“This experience has taught me...”总结自己反思后的收获。在叙述故事情节时,衔接词的使用使故事情节叙述连贯,逻辑清晰。此外,文章表达多样,长短句结合,可读性强。
一 句 多 表 达
It encourages us to reconsider some moments in the past and helps us realize how we could have done better.(第一段第二句)
By reflecting on some moments in the past, we can gain a deep understanding of what we have done and what we can do better in the future.
析变换后的句子用by doing sth.代替原句的前半部分,用 gain a deep understanding of...代替原句中的realize。两个句子均强调了反思的好处。
【你来仿写】
通过这次经历,我对自我反思的重要性有了更深入的理解。(用 gain a deep understanding of...)
参考答案:Through this experience, I have gained a deeper understanding of the importance of self-reflection.
勤反思,善总结,常进步
Reflection is very important in our life. There is no doubt that self-reflection allows us to learn from the past and do better in the future. Now I would like to share one of my experiences of reflection.亮点赏析
用 There is no doubt that. .. ( 毫无疑问的是⋯⋯)体现出反思的必要性,为下文作铺垫;
Once, I made an appointment with my friends to have a picnic in the park on Saturday. However, I didn't prepare anything in advance. Therefore, it took me much time to get everything ready after I woke up. For this reason, I was late for the picnic and my friends had to wait for me. As soon as I got there, I apologized to them. That evening, I made a deep reflection and realized that making a plan before doing anything would certainly help me manage my time better.用 it took sb. time to do sth. 表明了迟到的原因,从而引出下文自己的反思;
Reflection is like a mirror that shines a clear light on our mistakes and gives us opportunities to correct them.Therefore, learning to reflect is the first step towards self-improvement.巧用比喻的手法,生动形象地道出了反思的意义,语言地道,表达多样。
名师点评
文章审题准确,要点齐全,内容饱满充实。第二段对于自己反思的经历细节描写丰富,从自己的行动谈到朋友们的状态,从自己的反应又回到主题“反思”,全文重点突出,所选取的经历能够准确表达文章的中心思想。同时,衔接词如However, Therefore, As soon as等的运用使语句间衔接紧密。此外,文章句式丰富多样,如同位语从句、时间状语从句、宾语从句、定语从句等的使用,体现了作者扎实的语言功底。
一 句 多 表 达
As soon as I got there, I apologized to them.(第二段倒数第二句)
The moment I arrived there, I made a sincere apology to them.
变换后的句子用the moment代替原句中的 as soon as,用make an apology to sb.替换原句中的 apologize to sb.。两句都表达了作者对让朋友等自己这件事的歉意。
【你还可以这样表达】
(用 express one's apology to sb.)
参考答案:As soon as I got there/The moment I arrived there, I expressed my apology to them.
满分作文
机器人进课堂之我见
With the development of science and technology, robots are entering our classroom and becoming a part of our daily study. From my point of view, the introduction of robots into classrooms has many advantages.亮点赏析
First of all, robots can help teachers teach more efficiently.For example, they can save teachers' time and reduce their workload by helping mark the homework. Besides, robots have the ability to communicate with students. They can respond to our questions and offer us practical advice, making learning more engaging and interactive. Moreover, robots can collect data about our learning progress and send feedback to teachers, which will help teachers know what kind of help we need.用 For example 举例说明机器人具体如何帮助老师更高效地教学,使自己的观点更有说服力;
To sum up, robots actually bring us much convenience and improve efficiency. However, it is important to note that robots should not replace humans. We should regard them as tools to complement our work and improve our lives.用转折副词 However 引出观点:人们要理智对待机器人,体现辩证思维。
which 引导的非限制性定语从句扩写机器人对老师的帮助,丰富文章内容;
名师点评
文章要点齐全,结构清晰。开头引入话题,表明自己的看法,观点明确。正文运用列举法阐述自己的理由,层次清晰。并用First of all, Besides, Moreover等衔接词串联要点,增强文章的连贯性。结尾进行总结,并启发读者辩证地看待问题,值得表扬。此外,文中句式表达多样化,增强了文章的可读性。
一 句 多 表 达
Besides, robots have the ability to communicate with students.(第二段第三句)
In addition, robots are capable of communicating with students.
In addition = Besides,两者均表示“此外,另外”; be capable of doing sth. = have the ability to do sth.,均表示有能力做某事。
【你还可以这样表达】
(用 be able to do sth.)
参考答案:In addition, robots are able to communicate with students.
51
机器人进课堂好处多
It is commonly believed that the rapid development of Al technology is influencing our life in many ways, which brings us more convenience and makes our work more efficient. In my opinion, introducing robots into the classroom can be highly beneficial for the following reasons.亮点赏析
用 which 引导的非限制性定语从句肯定了 AI 技术带给人们的便利;
To start with, robots can serve as excellent study aides.They will not only give us practical advice on study but also improve the efficiency of learning. Secondly, robots can become our friends during the school life. They can communicate with us in our free time, making our lives more meaningful. Furthermore,they expand the way information is transmitted. For example, they can keep us updated on the latest news so that we don't have to waste time searching online.运用并列词组 not only... but also...连接机器人对我们学习的帮助,使语言更紧凑;
In conclusion, I strongly believe that robots entering the classroom is a forward-looking and practical measure because it does bring us many benefits.用 so that 引导结果状语从句扩写机器人进入课堂的好处,内容充实。
名师点评
本文结构清晰,观点明确。第一段明确给出自己的观点,第二段阐述好处,第三段总结并重申观点。内容方面,作者不局限于题目给出的要点,对自己支持“机器人进入课堂”的原因进行了详细的补充,描写细致。语言方面,句式表达丰富,如定语从句、状语从句、宾语从句等的使用及衔接词的使用为文章增添亮点。
一 句 多 表 达
For example, they can keep us updated on the latest news so that we don't have to waste time searching online.(第二段最后一句)
For instance, they can keep us updated on the latest news, so there is no need for us to waste time searching online.
For instance=For example,表示例如,常用于举例;用 there is no need for sb. to do sth.替换原句中的don't have to do sth.,均表示有了机器人,我们没有必要浪费时间上网搜索。
【你来仿写】
我们有足够的时间去博物馆,所以你没有必要着急。(用there is no need for sb. to do sth.)
参考答案:We have enough time to go to the museum, so there is no need for you to hurry.
满分作文
浓浓亲情在中秋
Hello, I'm Li Hua from China. I would like to introduce traditional Chinese festivals to you.亮点赏析
In China, each traditional festival includes many ancient customs. For example, the Mid-Autumn Festival is one of the most famous traditional Chinese festival s falling on the fifteenth day of the eighth lunar month. On that day, family members get together and they usually enjoy the beautiful full moon while having mooncakes at night. The mooncake is a round pie,which means “ All relatives and friends never leave each other”. It's a kind of popular traditional Chinese food as well.There are many ancient Chinese poems about this festival, like“ May we all be blessed with longevity. Though miles away, we are still able to share the beauty of the moon together.”which 引导的非限制性定语从句描绘了月饼的寓意,形象生动;
此处用 For example 为后续对中秋节的介绍进行铺垫;同时通过现在分词短语作后置定语,点明中秋节的具体时间;
Although different festivals have various ways to celebrate,all of them pass the same wish, everyone all over the world can live a peaceful and happy life.巧用让步状语从句说明不同节日有不同的庆祝方式,整句点明节日的意义,立意深刻。
巧用古诗“但愿人长久,千里共婵娟”表达中秋节的寓意,语言地道;
名师点评
本文就中秋节进行了介绍,主题明确,层次分明。开头直入主题,正文部分从中秋节的时间、意义、庆祝方式等角度进行介绍,最后从节日背后的文化内涵升华文章。此外,作者还引用苏轼的词句,传递中秋节所蕴含的浓浓亲情。文章语言表达简洁,用词多样,句式丰富,包括there be 句型、状语从句、定语从句等,为文章增色不少。
一 句 多 表 达
The mooncake is a round pie, which means“All relative s and friends never leave each other”. It's a kind of popular traditional Chinese food as well.(第二段第四、五句)
The mooncake is not only a round pie representing all relatives and friends never leave each other but also a kind of popular traditional Chinese food.
变换后的句子用not only... but also...连接两个短语或句子,用现在分词representing代替原句中的非限制性定语从句,两句都说明了月饼的意义。
【你来仿写】
在元宵节,孩子们不仅可以吃汤圆,还可以欣赏灯笼。(用not only……but also…)
参考答案:On the Lantern Festival, children can not only eat tangyuan but also enjoy lanterns.
中国茶文化的魅力
Hello, everyone. I'm Li Hua from Shanghai. Today I'm going to talk about traditional Chinese drink—tea.亮点赏析
Tea originates in China and it has a very long history. Tea culture plays an important role in China. It is a traditional Chinese custom that a host has to serve a visiting guest a cup of tea firstly when the guest enters his house. In ancient times,people were used to serving tea to the elderly in a family.During the Han Dynasty, tea was spread to further places through the Silk Road. There are various kinds of tea in different parts of China and each of them has its own characteristics. Nowadays, a number of young people choose to drink tea because it is helpful to their bodies and soul.that 引导的主语从句中包含when 引导的时间状语从句,阐述给客人奉茶这一习俗;
被动语态强调了茶通过丝绸之路传播到更多的地方,句式灵活多样;
In a word, tea reflects Chinese culture. Hope all of you can travel to China and learn more about Chinese culture.because 引导的原因状语从句表达了现代年轻人对茶饮的喜爱和认可的原因。
名师点评
本文以三段式结构呈现,清晰明了,语言简练,内容充实。首段开门见山,点出文章主题,引出下文。第二段主要介绍中国茶文化的起源、习俗、种类和现状等方面。最后,作者强调茶文化的重要性,并希望更多人能够了解和体验中国文化。文章用词准确,语言丰富,运用主语从句、状语从句等句型,体现了作者扎实的语言功底。
一 句 多 表 达
Nowadays, a number of young people choose to drink tea because it is helpful to their bodies and soul. (第二段最后一句)
Nowadays, the reason why a number of young people prefer drinking tea is that it is helpful to their bodies and soul.
变换后的句子用the reason why... is that 替换 because,用prefer doing sth.替换原句中的choose to do sth. ,都表示很多年轻人更喜欢喝茶是因为茶对他们身心都有帮助。
【你来仿写】
我更喜欢阅读纸质书,因为在阅读过程中更方便做笔记。(用 the reason why... is that...)
参考答案:The reason why I prefer reading paper books is that it is more convenient to take notes during reading.
满分作文
生活技能训练
Dear Mr. Zhang, 亮点赏析
I am happy to share my decision about the program I have chosen—Training of living skills. The reasons are as follows.开篇用 be happy to do sth.表明写信目的,同时展现自己的喜悦心情;
Above all, we students will stay on a farm from the last week of June with our team members and local people for a whole week, which will definitely develop our ability to cooperate with others as well as communicate with strangers. In addition,by cooking meals by ourselves, our skills of living independently will also be enhanced. What's more, we will have opportunities to feed the animals on the farm. This not only allows us to experience a leisurely village life but also helps us reduce stress and become relaxed!用 which 引导的非限制性定语从句说明与同伴及当地人一起居住的好处;
All in all, the project Training of living skills is worth joining in and it will surely benefit me. I'm looking forward to your reply.运用 not only… but also. .. 连接体验农场生活的两点益处,语言地道。
Yours sincerely,
Li Hua
名师点评
文章结构完整,主题突出,逻辑连贯。正文部分用Above all, In addition 和 What's more有序引出自己选择该活动的三点理由;同时,在每条理由后都阐述了该活动的好处以使内容更充实。 此外,文章语言丰富,亮点短语颇多,如as follows, develop one's ability to do sth.,sth. be worth doing等使文章增色不少;定语从句、被动语态的使用也增强了文章的可读性。
一 句 多 表 达
In addition, by cooking meals by ourselves, our skills of living independently will also be enhanced.(第二段第二句)
Additionally, we will have the chance to enhance our skills of living independently by cooking meals on our own.
Additionally=In addition 表示“另外”;用 sb. have the chance to enhance sth.替换原句中的 sth. will be enhanced。两句都说明我们动手做饭可以提高自己独立生活的能力。
【你来仿写】
不同的课外活动让我们有机会探索我们的兴趣。(用 have the chance to do sth.)
参考答案:Different after-school activities make us have the chance to explore our interest.
博物馆探索
Dear Mr. Zhang, 亮点赏析
I am writing to tell you my decision. I prefer to choose Exploration of museums. And here are some of my reasons.
First of all, the program is fixed on the first Saturday of each month from March to June, allowing me to learn something without affecting my daily study. Secondly, I am really willing to have such an opportunity to visit as many museums as possible. In this way, I will admire a large number of cultural relics and learn about memorable stories in the museums. And at the same time, under the guidance of professional researchers, I believe I will get more knowledge during the visit and enjoy myself in the world of history and science.现在分词allowing作状语,解释自己选择这一项目的原因之一是时间合适;
In my opinion, Exploration of museums is a highly meaningful activity, and I can't wait to participate in it.can't wait to do sth.表示“迫不及待做某事”,表达出作者对参加该项目的期盼。
宾语从句肯定了专业研究人员的指导作用,同时将自己的收获描述得更为详细;
Yours sincerely,
Li Hua
名师点评
文章结构清晰,要点齐全。作者开头先表明自己写信的目的及选择,开门见山;第二段阐述了选择“博物馆探索”的三点原因;最后一段总结全文并表达自己对该活动的期盼。此外,作者熟练运用高级短语及句型如prefer to do sth., be willing to do sth., enjoy oneself等,使得文章亮点突出,是一篇值得借鉴的佳作。
一 句 多 表 达
In my opinion, exploration of museums is a highly meaningful activity, and I can't wait to participate in it.(第三段最后一句)
From my point of view, exploration of museums is a highly meaningful activity, and Iam eager to participate in it.
From my point of view=In my opinion 依我看,常用于发表自己的观点和看法;be eagerto do sth.相当于 can't wait to do sth., 均表示“迫不及待做某事”。
【你来仿写】
我很渴望参加学校的科学俱乐部,因为我将有机会做更多的实验。(用be eager to do sth.)
参考答案:I am eager to join the Science Club in our school because I will have the chance to do more experiments.
满分作文
幸运的玛丽
Lucky Mary 亮点赏析
Last Friday, Mary went to the bustling night market. When she was wandering around, she came across a game stand. A lovely big teddy bear caught her eyes and it seemed that it was saying,“Come on! Take me home!”catch one's eyes 表示抓住某人的眼球。本句形象生动地表现出玩具熊对 Mary 的吸引力;
Mary hesitated for a moment.“It's not easy for me to get this bear,”she thought. “Hello, would you like to have a try?” Mary was interrupted by the owner. “You can have it if you can hit the target three times in one minute.”So Mary decided to take the chance. With determination in her heart, she focused her eyes on aiming at the balloons and made every effort to throw the darts. |To her surprise, she successfully hit the target, and the owner handed her the lovely teddy bear. Happily, Mary hugged the bear tightly and felt a sense of accomplishment.focus on 表示专注于, make everyeffort to do sth.表示尽全力做某事。本句通过丰富的细节描写体现了 Mary的专心和努力;
Reflecting on this experience, Mary learned that she should never give up on what she wants, no matter how difficult or uncertain the journey may seem.总结 全文, 点 明 Mary 的收获——遇到困难永不放弃,升华文章主题,立意深刻。
名师点评
本文层次清晰,段落分明。第一段先描述了玛丽在游戏摊位看到玩具熊,第二段详细叙述了玛丽赢取玩具熊的过程,最后一段总结了玛丽对这次经历的感受。作者在构思时,详略得当。语言表达上,作者巧用高级短语,比如come across, catch one's eyes, decide to do sth., make every effort to do sth, to one's surprise 等,既为文章添色,又展现了作者深厚的写作功底。
一 句 多 表 达
So Mary decided to take the chance.(第二段第六句)
So Mary made up her mind to take the chance.
decide to do sth. = make up one's mind to do sth.= make a decision to do sth.,均表示下定决心做某事。本句通过不同的短语,说明了 Mary决定抓住这个机会。
【你来仿写】
深思熟虑之后,我最终下定决心这学期加入学校的篮球队。(用make up one's mind to do sth.)
参考答案:After thinking twice, I finally made up my mind to join the school basketball team this term.
2夜市奇遇记
Lucky Mary 亮点赏析
On the evening of last Friday, Mary visited the night market around her home. When she was passing by a game stand, she noticed a lovely teddy bear sitting on the counter and wanted to get it.When 引导时间状语从句交代故事发生的背景,丰富故事情节;
The owner told Mary the prize would only be hers if she could throw three darts into three balloons, one at a time. At first, Mary thought it was impossible for her to win it. However,the owner encouraged her to give it a go, and she finally decided to have a try. To Mary's surprise, she succeeded in shooting all three darts. In the end, Mary won the lovely bear and left the night market with a happy mood.if引导条件状语从句表达玛丽能获奖的前提条件,充实文章细节;
From the experience, Mary learned that it was important to be confident and brave to take risks when opportunities arose.In other words, one should never let an opportunity slip away,and then he can finally get success.巧用谚语启发读者要抓住机遇,是结尾的点睛之笔。
名师点评
作者采用常见的三段式写作结构,层次清晰;每段内容都与题目所给的三张图片相对应,使文章要点充实,内容饱满。其次,作者在遣词造句上尤为讲究,运用了丰富的高级短语,如pass by, it is impossible for sb. to do sth., succeed in doing sth., slip away 等,表达丰富,为文章增色;此外,作者还用了条件状语从句、宾语从句等多种从句使文章表达别具一格。
一 句 多 表 达
At first, Mary thought it was impossible for her to win it.(第二段第二句)
In the beginning, Mary held the belief that winning was out of her reach.
In the beginning=At first 起初,首先。hold the belief 相当于 think,表示持有某种看法或观点;be out of one's reach 相当于 be impossible for sb. to do sth.,表示超出某人的能力范围。
【你来仿写】
起初,Peter认为完成这项工作是一件简单的事情,但后来他发现完成这项任务超出了他的能力。(用 be out of one's reach)
参考答案:At first, Peter held the belief that completing this task was a simple matter, but later he found that completing this task was out of his reach.
分享阅读,传播书香
Dear Sir/Madam, 亮点赏析
I'm Li Hua from Class One. I am writing to recommend my class to be the“Literary Class”. First, I'd like to introduce the reading corner at the back of the classroom. Here are many interesting books from different fields. And I'm proud to talk about the wall newspaper. It is updated every week in order that students can learn about the fresh things.
In my opinion, the reading atmosphere is also important. In our class, bookcrossing and group discussions are common.We always talk about the books we read and share our thoughts.用 in order that 从句道出报纸墙有利于同学们了解新信息,充实文章细节且表达高级;
What's more, we have deeply understood what reading can bring to us. We have deeply realized that reading is really beneficial to us. For one thing, reading is a method to calm down ourselves in everyday life. For another thing, our thinking will become more active through reading many kinds of books.用 that 引导的宾语从句以及短语“be beneficial to sb.”引出阅读的好处,表达高级,为文章添彩;
In a word, I'll appreciate it if our class can be chosen as the“ Literary Class”. Thank you for spending time reading this letter.巧用 I'll appreciate it if…句型表达自己对评选为书香班级的渴望及期待。
Li HuaYours,
名师点评
本篇习作布局合理,层次分明,要点齐全。作者从自己班级的布置入手,紧接着介绍班里的阅读氛围及阅读的好处,最后表达自己的感谢,紧紧抓住读者的眼球。语言方面,作者运用了大量的优秀句式和短语,如at the back of…, be proud to do sth., calm oneself down, be chosen as…, spend time doing sth.等,使文章内容充实且表达丰富。
一 句 多 表 达
It is updated every week in order that students can learn about…(第一段最后一句)
It is updated weekly so that students can learn about…
变换后的句子用 weekly 代替原句中的 every week,用 so that从句代替原句中的 in order that从句,两句都表达了报纸墙每周更新的目的。
【你来仿写】
我每天都看英文小说,这样我就可以增加我的词汇量。(完成译句)
I read English novels every day .
参考答案:so that I can increase my vocabulary
满分作文
生命在于运动
Dear Li Hua, 亮点赏析
I'm sorry that you are going through such a hard time.I used to worry about the P. E. test as much as you did, but at last I got a good grade. So you needn't worry about it.I believe you will surely pass the test if you keep practicing.信的开头表达自己有相似的坎坷经历,与朋友引起共鸣,为下文自己的经历作铺垫;
In my opinion, the P. E. test is designed to encourage us to do more physical exercises and have a healthy body.Therefore, we should have a positive attitude towards it.
Now, let me tell you my experience. On my first long jump, I couldn't even cross the nearest line, which made me frustrated. But I knew that with practice and determination,I could improve. Then I began watching videos and studying how jumpers performed. At the same time, I kept practising every day. I finally performed well in the P. E. test.宾语从句及 with 介词短语的使用,细腻地描述了作者的内心活动,丰富了文章的句式结构;
All in all, if you devote yourself to diligent practice,success in the upcoming test is undoubtedly within your reach.用 if引导的条件状语从句及主句表达对李华的鼓励并升华文章主题。
Your friend
名师点评
本文主题明确,要点齐全。首段安抚了李华,第二段申明了体育考试的重要性,第三段讲述了自己跳远考试的经历,最后一段对李华表示鼓励。在语言上,高级短语 encourage sb.to do sth., begin doing sth. , within one's reach等的运用足见作者的写作功底。
一 句 多 表 达
All in all, if you devote yourself to diligent practice, success in the upcoming test is undoubtedly within your reach.(最后一段)
All in all, as long as you try your best to practice consistently, you can definitely succeed in the upcoming test.
变换后的句子用 as long as代替原句中的 if,用 try one's best to do sth.代替原句中的devote oneself into sth.,两句都体现了坚持锻炼必定可以取得成功。
【你还可以这样表达】
(用 make every effort to do sth.)
参考答案:All in all, as long as you make every effort to practice consistently, you can definitely succeed in the upcoming test.
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