2023-2024学年高一下期3月月考读后续写讲评学案：巧用动作和情绪描写

Task1. 故事梗概:根据四要素(when,where,who,what)提取相关信息 Basic elements of the story when once,when I was a teenager where at the ticket counter who a family with eight children, my father, I, the ticket lady what When my father and I were standing in line to buy tickets for the circus, another family couldn’t afford to buy enough tickets, which made us sorry for them. Task2. 情节构思(plot line), 基于下列提示问题思考续写方向,并给出可能用到的关键表达。 (1)续写Para1: • Why did my father drop a 20 bill on the ground? • What was my father going to do? • What was the man’s reaction to my father’s help? 参考答案:1. To lend them a hand in a proper way 2. He was going to ask the man to pick up the money 3. The man, with grateful tears sparkling in his eyes, shake hands with my father. (2)续写Para 2: • What did I say to my father? • What did my father say to me? 参考答案:1. I asked,“ Dad, we are not rich, but why did you do this?” 2. He replied,“We should be grateful for what we have and seize the opportunity to help those who need help.” Task3. 主题升华 (theme line) •What did I learn from my father’s behavior? responsible, meaningful, should be willing to help others set a good example to me and make a big difference to my future Task4. 找出原文中用得好的动作描写和情绪描写,为仿写做准备。 (1) 动作描写: (2) 情绪描写: 解题思路: 1. 理解文本后,再结合两句段首推出续写内容(情节线): 第一段首句 Seeing what was going on,my dad.... 说明爸爸已经有想法来帮助这家人, 就是把钱丢地上,但是这样要如何帮助呢?再通过第二段首句 Then my father and I drove home without any tickets. 我们没买票就回家了。说明上一段爸爸已经成功实施了帮助这一家人买票的想法。又通过第二段的提示可以看出,本段的情节内容应该为:在回家路上,“我”与爸爸的言语交流及主题升华。每一段的情节可以根据故事发展的方向进行详细叙述,具体的故事细节也不必一致,只要能自圆其说即可。 2. 设定好续写文章的情节线之后,接下来要设定文章的主旨线。 通过对语篇的整体理解可以看出,本文是“人与社会”主题下的“助人”话题。从给出文章的最后一段可以看出,“我”对这一家人的情况表示理解和同情,接下来爸爸对他们的帮助也符合“我”的心理预期,“我”也非常支持爸爸的善行。续写第二段着重写“我”与爸爸的言语和情感交流,一步步引出本文的主旨线。 3. 利用“两线”合成完整语篇(一整体) 将以上所讲“两线”综合起来可以确定文章的写作思路。然后,在续写的两段中加入适当的细节描写,如“我”的心理活动、爸爸等人的动作与语言描写等,丰富故事情节,增强故事张力。