Module1 Unit2 Writing Introduction of the Great Mind讲义-2023-2024学年沪教牛津版英语九年级上册

U2 Writing Introduction of the Great Mind 下划线处需修改，使用得好的短语和句子请用红色下划线画出。 Example 1 Charlie Chaplin born in 1889, Apr. in Londun, England. He die in 1977, Dec. He was the most great actor. At an early ago, he was poor, but he was talented. At the age of 14 years old. He took in many theaters everywhere in England. In 1913, he went to America and started work as film show. He was in 80 films. He sympathize with the poor people and he make joke on the rich people. He was a great man. 点评：2.5+1.5+0.5=4.5-5分 解析：文中要点有部分遗漏。文章多数要点表达英文较中式英语。另外存在较多标点符号，时态错误，单词拼写及固定搭配使用错误，三单未进行适当变化。句子较简单，可使用感叹句改写最后一个句子。 提升方法：He was a great man.可升级为 _________________!/_________________!（感叹句） 改正后： Charlie Chaplin was born in April 1889 in England, London. He died in December 1977. He was one of the greatest actors. From an early age, he was poor, but he was talented. At the age of 14, he took in many shows in theaters everywhere in England. In 1913, he went to America and started to act in films. He was in 80 films. He sympathized with the poor and he played jokes on the rich . He was a great man. Example 2 Charlie Chaplin a British actor was born in April 1889 in England, London. He died in December, 1977. He was considered one of the greatest actor in the world. When he was young age, his family was poor. But he had a great talented. At the age of 14, he took part in many shows in theaters in England. He went to America to work as a film actor. In his life, he made 80 films. His works sympathized the old and laughed at the rich. He is a great and hard-working man and we all love him so much. How a great man! People in memory of him. 点评：4+3+0.5=7.5-8分 解析：文中要点基本齐全，存在语法错误包括最高级用法，感叹句使用，固定搭配正确使用。值得点赞的是，同一个句子可以保持时态一致，且尝试使用感叹句表达自己对人物的赞叹之情。除此较多是主谓结构或是时间状语从句，可考虑两句合为一句提升。 提升方法： 1. His family was poor. But he had a great talented.可升级为 Although _________________, _____________.(用although从句引导) 2. He is a great and hard-working man and we all love him so much.可升级为 He is great _______ hard-working and