Unit 5 Music 读后续写微讲堂（教师用书Word）-【状元桥·优质课堂】2023-2024学年新教材高中英语必修第二册（人教版2019）

读后续写入门篇之设计有效对话(二) 三、有效对话的转换 在读后续写中，对话虽容易出现偏离人设、可有可无和偏离主线等问题，但仍是刻画人物情绪、形象的重要方式之一。为减少这些问题出现的机率，并增加文章内容表达的丰富性，不妨将一些对话转化为人物的心理，或者将直接引语转为间接引语。少而精的对话不仅能活化场景，还更能突出主题。 学生案例3 请阅读下面段落，试判断文中对话(斜体字)是否有效，并说明理由。 (Para.2)Abe's eyes became very wide.①“It's a book！” he screamed with surprise! His mouth became big, and his hands shook excitedly.②“It's for me, really？” he asked with gleaming eyes.③“Of course, my beloved.” Answered his mom.And then she put her hands around his shoulders and kissed him, ④“I hope it can make you happy.” Mom said with deep love.Hearing this, Abe smiled with tears running out, hugging his mom tightly and said, ⑤“thank you, Mom.” [习作品析] 属于有效对话。理由：该段通过语言、动作、神态描写描述了Abe看到礼物后惊喜地叫出来，非常不可置信。在母亲用语言和行动表示肯定(“Of course, my beloved.”， put her hands around his shoulders and kissed him)后，Abe微笑着投入母亲的怀抱。案例3情节设置合理，对Abe和母亲的刻画栩栩如生，期间使用了五句对话，①②突出了Abe 的惊喜和不可置信，③④表明了母亲对Abe 的关心和爱意。第⑤处对话则表明了Abe收到礼物，得到母亲的关爱后的感激之情，回归主题，以自然的语言点明中心思想——赞扬母爱。 学生案例4 请阅读下面段落，对比案例3，试品读二者表达效果上的差异。 (Para.2)Abe's eyes became very wide.He put down the food, and carefully opened it with a jumping-fast heart.It was a book! It was so unbelievable and he was too excited to say a word.He turned to his stepmother slowly.She just put her hands around his shoulders and kissed him.With tears dropping from Abe's eyes, he ran to mum's warm hug, smiled and said thanks to her. [习作品析] 本段同样描绘了Abe看到礼物后的惊喜和不可置信，却不是通过语言描写，而是通过心理描写(“It was a book！”)和非对话的描述性句子(It was so unbelievable)。本段段末使用了间接引语(said thanks to her)表达Abe的感激之情。在内容上案例4和案例3相差无几；在表达效果上，案例3中对话使用频率较高，促进情节的发展，但是描写的镜头随着对话在Abe和母亲之间转换，画面一直处于“有声”状态以至于没有重点突出之感。案例4无对话描写，一直给人以“无声”的画面，这使得结尾处，饱含深情的感谢也被平淡地转述(said thanks to her)出来，感情力度大打折扣。因此，对话应以短而精炼的形式存在于续写之中。有些对话可用心理描写、间接引语等方式进行转换，这样既可以丰富表达方式，又可突出重点，活化画面。 [尝试修改] Abe's eyes became very wide.He put down the food, carefully opened it with a jumping-fast heart.It was a book! It was so unbelievable and he was too excited to say a word.He turned to his stepmother slowly.She just put her hands around his shoulders and kissed him