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(2023·南京师范大学附属中学模拟)For as long as I can remember,my body and I
have shared a relationship of discontentGrowing up,I was skinnier than the
other kids and at five I was told I wasn't attractive and that I must put on some
weight.But no matter how much I ate,I stayed thin for years until
adolescence.Then I started putting on weight almost immediately.I remember
feeling happy as I began to fill outHowever,my joy didn't last long.
I was thirteen when I was first called fatFriends and neighbours would make
jokes on my big size.As I entered my late teens,I had completely lost confidence
in my body and,subsequently,in myself.Having failed to live up to conventional
beauty standards,I was convinced that if I wanted to be loved,I needed to offer
more,doing anything to please everyone around.
I entered adulthood thinking I wasn't "enough"-an idea that was seeded
not only by the fact that "skinny"is celebrated,but also by the language
associated with accounts of losing weight-self-improvement,discipline-all
virtues.Being fat quickly categorizes you as lazy and undisciplined.Consumed by
thoughts of the way my body looked,I didn't notice the other ways my body
needed attention.I failed to realize,for example,that my period was much heavier
and more painful than ever before.Actually I developed a rare disease and later I
had two surgeries.
I was always made to feel that my weight was the root of a lot of problems in
my life;I have learnt this is not true.After a lot of self-reflection and some
professional help,I realized I never learnt to like myself.While two decades of
self-hatred cannot be undone overnight,I have taken first steps to acceptance.
I am now much lighter than before,in body and mind.There are days I find
voices on social media saying I am too fat to be loved or to be worthy,but I am
learning not to focus on that thought for long.As long as I like myself,just the
way