专题五 写作 3“批阅式”写作——“点”到增分点上-【红对勾】2023版新高考英语二轮复习讲与练

　 　 　 　 讲与练 高三二轮·英语 第二段首句:I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners. 由首句 可知该段要重点处理的是 David 是怎么完成越 野跑的。 (二)四写续文,圆合文章———确保续写文 章美 1. 设计故事情节 我们可以先确定大结局是:David 最终决定 参加并和其他孩子一样完成了越野跑。 但是直 到续写第一段的开头,他还是没有决定要参加, 所以需要出现一个转折。 根据续写第一段开头 我们可以知道这个关键人就是“ I”,原文提到 “我”是一个“special education teacher”。 那么文 章其实已经很明显地给我们暗示出了转折,我 们只需要构思“我”做了些什么或说了些什么鼓 励 David 参加比赛就可以了。 2. 确定故事内容 我们可以先设计动作链将“我们坐在一起, David 不看我———……———David 最终决定参加 越野跑”这首尾两个动作连起来。 第一段的动作链可以是这样: David 始终低着头看着自己的脚———我鼓 励 David(转折)———David 抬头看我———David 最终决定参加越野跑———David 朝起跑线走去 第二段的动作链可以是这样: 我看着 David 走到起跑线———指令一响,大 家开始跑———David 中途落后———大家鼓励 David,David 加快了步伐———David 到达终点 3. 关注细节描述 例如:我心疼地(情绪描写)将他揽入怀中, 轻轻地抚摸他的背(动作描写),用温柔的语气 鼓励他:“如果你不去做的话,大家就会认为你 是弱者,一直用有色眼镜看你。 但是如果你成 功做到的话,我相信没有人会嘲笑你的,反而大 家会被你的毅力所折服。”(语言描写) 4. 注重思想升华 在所有的情节设计结束之后,再加上主旨 升华就完成了整个续写的框架。 请自主完成上面典例的读后续写 　 　 　 【参考范文】 We sat down next to each other, but David wouldn􀆳t look at me. He hung his head, trying to avoid eye contact with me. It was a tricky moment, calling for a good choice of words. Having thought it over, I mentioned some events which won people􀆳s praise for his determination and perseverance. His face began to lighten. He added that even the judges thumbed up at him. The whistle went off and the competitors began to take their places. To my joy, David slowly rose to his feet. I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners. David stood firmly in his position, ignoring anything around. Pushing forward without balance, he was left behind. However, when he came into sight, the spectators burst into thunderous cheers and applause. Inspired by the enthusiasm and encouragement, David quickened his pac