内容正文:
广一模 书面表达
书面表达题目考查重点
完整
切题
3
2
1
4
准确
连贯
广一模 书面表达题数据
作文
12.6
2班 15.1
12.1
13.1
12.6
6班 15.0
14.8
区内兄弟学校 16.3
广州市理科生 14.3
3
strengths & weaknesses & target
各档次
第五档(21~25 分)
第四档(16~20 分)
第三档(11~15 分)
第二档(6~10 分)
第一档(1~5 分)
0 分
REMIND:
如书写较差以至影响交际,将其分数降低一个档次。
“又长又美不扣分,又长又臭扣分”
Lucy 总结的本次写作问题:
1. 审题错误:李华和Alice的关系?语气?议论文?感谢信?
2. 正文观点模糊,缺乏逻辑
3. 语言不连贯:一句话一个观点,句句独立
4. 卷面仍有提升空间
本节课目标
审题
篇章结构
衔接
审题&
篇章结构
Lucy的审题和谋篇布局
Friend--> 语气:宜亲切友好,忌生硬刻板
Li Hua
Alice
总:
信体:建议信 时态:一般现在时
P1
P2
P3
拓展:have received the letter
thanks for trust
写信目的:suggestions & advice
travel with friends without overprotection
suggestion 1 + reason
suggestion 2 + reason
suggestion 3 + reason
拓展:hope suggestions are helpful & good luck with your decision
反思 & 自评
小结
切题:认真审题,准确把握写作任务的主旨,确保内容围绕主题展开
完整:覆盖各内容要点,无遗漏
明确每段的功能和内容,观点表述层次分明
建议信推荐语句
Why don’t you --- I consider it a good idea that you ---
All you need to do is to -- In this way, you can/will not--
It might help if -- If I were you, I would---
再次阅读三维设计P102七选五材料以及广一模优秀作文---read more, think further
1.Suggestion: have a sincere talk with your parents
Reason:Parents can understand your feelings and ideas about their ways of love.
Rewrite:
2.Suggestion:show your parents where you plan to go,who you're going with
Reason:Parents won't worry about you
Rewrite:
思考:重写后,两个建议之间可以直接衔接吗?如中间要加衔接词,应该加什么样的衔接?
关键词上下句重复出现有利于衔接
小结
准确:语句和信体的吻合,如建议信&表达建议的句式
连贯:要点间关系紧密,顺畅通达,使用恰当的衔接手段
连贯&
衔接
限时训练一:审题 谋篇 互评合理性
假定你是李华。你的美国笔友Mike 将到广州度假,以下是他给你发的电子邮件。请给他回信,欢迎他的到来,答复他的疑问,并提出合理建议。
Dear Li Hua,
I’m going to Guangzhou for a 2- week holiday in May. I’m so excited that I finally have this chance to meet you and see your city. However, I am a bit worried about the traffic problems. From what I know, traffic jams are serious in big cities. Do you think I should rent a car? How should I travel around efficiently when I’m in Guangzhou?Can’t wait to see you.
Yours,
Mike
注意:1.词数100左右;2.可以适当增加细节,以使行文连贯。
限时训练二:准确 连贯 自评&展示
What have you learnt today?
审题
篇章结构
衔接