Unit 3 Reading for Writing 2（以读促写课讲义）英语人教版必修第二册

Unit 3 Reading for Writing 2 （以读促写课讲义） 目录 1. Lead in 2. Reading 3. Text Analysis 4.Language Building 5. Mini-writing 6.Writing Task 7.Self-assessment 8.Homework 1. Lead in 一、创设情境，回答问题 Have you ever felt upset after reading mean comments online? Have you met trolls or cyberbullying when you surf the Internet? How did you feel at that moment? Alice once stayed at home because of injury. She turned to the Internet for company. But what unexpected trouble did she meet online, and how warm support from strangers changed her mood? 2. Reading Sitting alone in front of the computer，Alice clicked through various web pages. Stuck at home due to a sprained ankle，she felt extremely bored. To keep herself company，she began to surf the Internet. She clicked on the blog posts of a famous blogger，who shared how he went through those tough days. As she read through it，a good idea occurred to Alice. She decided to share her own experience on the Internet. Afraid of being made fun of，she posted her story anonymously under the name “Emily”. What surprised her most was the flood of support from strangers，who gave her sincere encouragement. Some even gave practical tips on ankle recovery. Inspired by their warm words，Alice decided to update her blog regularly. With the network connecting her to the world，she no longer felt alone. It made her understand that in the virtual world，just like in real life，kindness exists everywhere. Although the Internet has its problems like cyberbullies and false information，as long as we keep the right attitude in mind，we can still benefit a lot from it. 3. Text Analysis 一、故事山结构 故事山结构 文本内容分析 写作功能 Beginning（开端） 背景：Alice 脚踝扭伤被困家中，百无聊赖，上网浏览博主文章 交代人物处境，引出网络这一故事场景 Rising Action（发展） 受到博主启发，决定在网上分享自己的经历；害怕被取笑选择匿名发帖 设置内心顾虑，埋下冲突伏笔：网络既有善意，也存在网络暴力风险 Climax（高潮） 大量陌生网友送来真诚鼓励，还提供康复实用建议 情节反转：本担心被嘲讽，却收获大量善意 Falling Action（下降） 受到鼓舞，Alice 坚持更新博客；网络将她与外界相连，不再孤独 写人物行为、情绪的转变 Ending（结尾） 感悟：网络有网络霸凌、虚假信息等问题，但只要端正态度，我们依然可以从中获益 主题思辨升华，辩证看待互联网利弊 Theme（主题升华） 互联网是一把双刃剑。虚拟世界同样存在善意；我们应当树立正确态度，理性、友善地使用网络。 读后续写价值导向：不片面美化网络，体现辩证思考 故事发展逻辑总结 身陷困境 → 网络寻求慰藉 → 内心有所顾虑（害怕网络恶意）→ 网上发布故事 → 收获陌生人善意 → 心态转变 → 辩证感悟网络的利与弊 可迁移故事模型 Difficult situation → Turn to the Internet → Inner worry about online risks → Online action → Unexpected feedback from strangers → Mental change → Reflection on the Internet （身处困境 → 求助网络 → 担忧网络风险 → 网络上采取行动 → 陌生人的意外反馈 → 心理转变 → 对互联网的反思） 二、读学写对应关系 阅读文本（Read） 学习迁移（Learn） 续写应用（Write） Stuck at home due to a sprained ankle, she felt extremely bored. 分词短语作状语交代人物处境 用于开篇交代人物被困、受伤等困境背景 Afraid of being made fun of, she posted her story anonymously… 形容词短语作状语表达人物内心担忧 写人物发帖前的心理：害怕嘲笑、害怕网络暴力 What surprised her most was the flood of support from strangers… 主语从句，描写意外收到的反馈 描写网上收获大量善意 / 遭遇恶意评论的情节 Inspired by their warm words, Alice decided to update her blog regularly. 过去分词作状语，外界影响带来行为转变 收到留言之后人物心态、行动发生改变 With the network connecting her to the world, she no longer felt alone. with 复合结构描写环境带来心理变化 体现网络带给人物的改变 Although the Internet has its problems like cyberbullies and false information, as long as we keep the right attitude in mind, we can still benefit a lot from it. 让步状语从句 + as long as 条件状语从句，辩证结尾升华 结尾对网络进行思辨感悟，拒绝片面单一评价 4. Language Building 一、主题词块 因受伤被困在家里 ___________________ 为了给自己作伴 ___________________ 经历艰难的日子 ___________________ 害怕被别人取笑 ___________________ 匿名发布故事 ___________________ 如潮水般涌来的支持 ___________________ 受到温暖话语的鼓舞 ___________________ 更新博客 ___________________ 网络霸凌 ___________________ 从…… 中获益 ___________________ 二、描写句式 被困在家，她只能依靠网络排解孤独。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 害怕遭到网上陌生人的嘲讽，她选择匿名发表自己的经历。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 让她最意外的是，许许多多的陌生人给了她真诚的安慰与建议。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 被网友善意的留言深深鼓舞，她决定继续在博客分享自己的生活点滴。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 网络将她和广阔的世界连接在一起，她不再被孤独笼罩。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 尽管互联网充斥着虚假信息与网络暴力，但只要我们心怀正确的态度，依然可以从中收获很多。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 这次经历使她意识到：虚拟世界和现实世界一样，善意无处不在。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 三、衔接表达 1. 处境引出类 Due to… 由于……；Stuck in…困于…… 2. 心理顾虑类 Afraid of…害怕……；Worried that…担心…… 3. 意外转折类 What surprised sb most was that…最让某人意外的是……；However然而 4. 外界影响类 Inspired by…受到…… 鼓舞；Encouraged by…被…… 鼓励 5. 结尾反思升华类 Although…, as long as…尽管……，只要……；It makes sb realize that…使某人意识到…… 5. Mini-Writing 写作模型：困境→求助网络→内心顾虑→网络行动→网友反馈→心态转变→主题反思 一、交代处境背景 写作重点：分词作状语交代困境 1. 因为一场意外，Mark 受伤被困家中，百无聊赖。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 二、萌生想法，内心顾虑 写作重点：形容词短语作状语写出人物心理担忧 2. 渴望倾诉自己的烦恼，但害怕遭到网友嘲讽，他决定匿名在博客写下自己的故事。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 三、网络上的意外反馈（两种分支：善意 / 遭遇网络恶评） 写作重点：主语从句表达出乎意料的网络反馈 3. 让他万万没想到的是，大量陌生人给他发来充满善意的留言。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 四、外界反馈带来人物改变 写作重点：过去分词作状语表达受到外界影响 4. 被这些温暖的留言深深打动，他鼓起勇气继续更新自己的博客。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 五、环境烘托心理变化 写作重点：with 复合结构体现网络带来的改变 5. 网络将他与广阔世界联系在一起，他不再深陷于孤单之中。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 六、结尾辩证反思升华 写作重点：although 让步状语从句 + as long as 条件从句，辩证看待互联网 6. 他逐渐明白：尽管互联网存在许多风险，但只要我们保持理性，网络依然可以传递温暖。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 6. Writing Task 一、微写作训练（读后续写片段） 原文梗概 Mark had a bad fall and hurt his leg. Stuck at home for months, he felt lonely and upset. He enjoyed reading blog posts online. One day an idea popped into his mind: he wanted to share his frustrating experience of recovery on the Internet. However, he hesitated. He worried that he would become a target for trolls and be laughed at by strangers online. 续写情节框架 困境：摔伤腿，被困家中数月，内心孤独烦闷 ↓ 萌生想法：想在网上分享自己康复的煎熬经历 ↓ 心理挣扎：害怕遭遇网络暴力，内心犹豫不决 ↓ 网络行动：最终匿名发布自己的故事 ↓ 意外反馈：收到大量陌生网友的善意留言与建议 ↓ 自我转变：深受鼓舞，不再感到孤单 ↓ 主题反思：辩证看待网络，网络既藏有风险，也可以传递善意 翻译练习 马克重重摔了一跤，腿受了伤。被困在家好几个月，他感到孤独又沮丧。浏览网络博客时，他萌生一个念头，想要分享自己难熬的康复经历。但他犹豫不决，害怕成为挑事者攻击的目标，被网上陌生人取笑。几经犹豫，他匿名发布了自己的故事。让他大为意外的是，潮水般的善意从四面八方涌来。无数陌生人留下鼓励的话语，还给他提供康复小建议。被这些温暖的留言深深鼓舞，他开始定期更新博客。网络将他与广阔的世界相连，他不再被孤独裹挟。这次经历让他懂得，尽管互联网存在网络霸凌等隐患，但只要心怀善意，网络也可以传递人间温暖。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 7. Self-Assessment 一、四维量表 评价维度 5 分：优秀 4 分：良好 3 分：基本达标 12 分：有待改进 情节融洽度 与原文情境紧密衔接；遵循 “困境顾虑发帖网络反馈心态转变反思” 完整逻辑链条，情节过渡自然，无跳跃 与原文基本衔接；主要情节合理，个别细节铺垫不足 完成基础故事，事件简单罗列，因果联系薄弱 脱离原文设定，情节矛盾突兀 人物一致性 人物情绪变化有理有据；顾虑、惊喜、受鼓舞层层递进，符合普通人面对网络的心理状态 人物行为大体合理，情绪转变略仓促 人物行为模板化，缺少内心细节 人物言行与前文设定冲突，情绪突变无理由 主题升华 辩证看待互联网利弊，从故事细节自然生发感悟；拒绝片面美化 / 全盘否定网络，不生硬套格言 点明网络的两面性，但感悟表达直白简单 仅有简单总结感悟，和故事关联不强 没有感悟升华，或者强行贴大道理 语言表达 熟练使用分词 / 形容词状语、with 复合结构、主语从句；句式多变；衔接自然，几乎无错误 使用部分单元高级语块、复合句；少量错误，不影响理解 以简单句为主，语法搭配有错误，表意尚可 大量病句，语义不通，照搬原文 二、范文赏析 Mark had a bad fall and hurt his leg. Stuck at home for months, he felt lonely and upset. While browsing online blogs, an idea occurred to him that he wanted to share his frustrating experience of recovery. Yet he hesitated, fearing he would become a target for trolls and be laughed at by strangers online. After some hesitation, he posted his story anonymously. What took him greatly by surprise was that a flood of kindness poured in from all directions. Countless strangers left encouraging words and offered practical advice for recovery. Deeply inspired by these warm comments, he began to update his blog on a regular basis. With the network connecting him to the wide world, he was no longer seized by loneliness. This experience taught him that despite hidden risks such as cyberbullying, the Internet can also pass on human warmth as long as we hold kindness in our hearts. 三、四维升格示例 评价维度 原句 主要问题 升格后 升格点 核心原则 情节融洽度 Mark was hurt. He posted his story online. Many people comforted him. He felt happy. 只有事件结果，缺少内心顾虑、犹豫的过程，情节链条断裂。 Stuck at home with an injured leg, Mark hesitated for a long time, afraid of being laughed at online. Eventually he posted his story anonymously. What surprised him most was that many strangers gave him sincere comfort. 补充处境、内心顾虑、匿名发帖的细节；写出 “意外收到善意” 这个转折。 续写不只写发生什么，还要写人物的心理挣扎。 人物一致性 He was very worried at first, and soon he was completely happy and forgot all risks. 心理转变过于突兀，完全抹去对网络风险的思考，不符合真实逻辑。 Though cheered up by kind comments, he still kept in mind hidden online risks. Gradually, he felt much better instead of being totally carefree. 保留对网络风险的认知；情绪是逐渐好转，不是瞬间毫无顾虑。 人物情绪应当渐变，不能瞬间彻底反转。 主题升华 The Internet is very good and helpful to us. 感悟片面单一，没有体现互联网双刃剑的单元主题。 It dawned on him that the Internet is a doubleedged sword. While it contains cyberbullying and false information, it can spread warmth if we treat it properly. 体现辩证思维，结合本次网上收获善意的经历得出感悟。 感悟要来自故事本身，拒绝片面口号。 语言表达 Mark stayed home. He was bored. He wrote his story. Many people helped him. 一堆简单短句堆砌，缺少本单元重点语法结构。 Stuck at home due to injury, Mark felt bored. Afraid of online mockery, he posted his story anonymously. What surprised him most was a flood of comfort from strangers. 使用分词状语、形容词短语状语、主语从句；长短句结合。 语言升格优先用好本单元学过的句式，而不是一味堆砌生词。 8.Homework 微情景段落迁移写作 要求：任选一个情境，严格按照困境 → 求助网络 → 内心顾虑 → 网络行动 → 陌生人反馈 → 心态转变 → 辩证反思逻辑，完成 80110 词续写段落；至少使用分词 / 形容词短语作状语、with 复合结构其中一种语法。 作业一 情境：Lily 因为社交焦虑，现实中很难交到知心朋友。她想在网络社区倾诉自己的烦恼，却又担心遭到别人的嘲讽。犹豫再三，她匿名发布帖子。出乎她意料，许多网友分享相似经历，给予理解与开导。她不再那么自卑，也懂得：网络有风险，但也能给孤独的人带去慰藉。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 作业二 情境：Tom 在现实生活中遭遇挫折，心情低落。他打算把烦恼发布在网络博客，但害怕成为网络攻击的目标。几经纠结之后，他写下自己的真实感受。然而，部分评论充满恶意，也有不少善良网友站出来安慰、支持他。这件事让他对网络的两面性有了更深体会。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 14 / 17 学科网（北京）股份有限公司 学科网（北京）股份有限公司 $ Unit 3 Reading for Writing 2 （以读促写课讲义） 目录 1. Lead in 2. Reading 3. Text Analysis 4.Language Building 5. Mini-writing 6.Writing Task 7.Self-assessment 8.Homework 1. Lead in 一、创设情境，回答问题 Have you ever felt upset after reading mean comments online? Have you met trolls or cyberbullying when you surf the Internet? How did you feel at that moment? Alice once stayed at home because of injury. She turned to the Internet for company. But what unexpected trouble did she meet online, and how warm support from strangers changed her mood? 2. Reading Sitting alone in front of the computer，Alice clicked through various web pages. Stuck at home due to a sprained ankle，she felt extremely bored. To keep herself company，she began to surf the Internet. She clicked on the blog posts of a famous blogger，who shared how he went through those tough days. As she read through it，a good idea occurred to Alice. She decided to share her own experience on the Internet. Afraid of being made fun of，she posted her story anonymously under the name “Emily”. What surprised her most was the flood of support from strangers，who gave her sincere encouragement. Some even gave practical tips on ankle recovery. Inspired by their warm words，Alice decided to update her blog regularly. With the network connecting her to the world，she no longer felt alone. It made her understand that in the virtual world，just like in real life，kindness exists everywhere. Although the Internet has its problems like cyberbullies and false information，as long as we keep the right attitude in mind，we can still benefit a lot from it. 3. Text Analysis 一、故事山结构 故事山结构 文本内容分析 写作功能 Beginning（开端） 背景：Alice 脚踝扭伤被困家中，百无聊赖，上网浏览博主文章 交代人物处境，引出网络这一故事场景 Rising Action（发展） 受到博主启发，决定在网上分享自己的经历；害怕被取笑选择匿名发帖 设置内心顾虑，埋下冲突伏笔：网络既有善意，也存在网络暴力风险 Climax（高潮） 大量陌生网友送来真诚鼓励，还提供康复实用建议 情节反转：本担心被嘲讽，却收获大量善意 Falling Action（下降） 受到鼓舞，Alice 坚持更新博客；网络将她与外界相连，不再孤独 写人物行为、情绪的转变 Ending（结尾） 感悟：网络有网络霸凌、虚假信息等问题，但只要端正态度，我们依然可以从中获益 主题思辨升华，辩证看待互联网利弊 Theme（主题升华） 互联网是一把双刃剑。虚拟世界同样存在善意；我们应当树立正确态度，理性、友善地使用网络。 读后续写价值导向：不片面美化网络，体现辩证思考 故事发展逻辑总结 身陷困境 → 网络寻求慰藉 → 内心有所顾虑（害怕网络恶意）→ 网上发布故事 → 收获陌生人善意 → 心态转变 → 辩证感悟网络的利与弊 可迁移故事模型 Difficult situation → Turn to the Internet → Inner worry about online risks → Online action → Unexpected feedback from strangers → Mental change → Reflection on the Internet （身处困境 → 求助网络 → 担忧网络风险 → 网络上采取行动 → 陌生人的意外反馈 → 心理转变 → 对互联网的反思） 二、读学写对应关系 阅读文本（Read） 学习迁移（Learn） 续写应用（Write） Stuck at home due to a sprained ankle, she felt extremely bored. 分词短语作状语交代人物处境 用于开篇交代人物被困、受伤等困境背景 Afraid of being made fun of, she posted her story anonymously… 形容词短语作状语表达人物内心担忧 写人物发帖前的心理：害怕嘲笑、害怕网络暴力 What surprised her most was the flood of support from strangers… 主语从句，描写意外收到的反馈 描写网上收获大量善意 / 遭遇恶意评论的情节 Inspired by their warm words, Alice decided to update her blog regularly. 过去分词作状语，外界影响带来行为转变 收到留言之后人物心态、行动发生改变 With the network connecting her to the world, she no longer felt alone. with 复合结构描写环境带来心理变化 体现网络带给人物的改变 Although the Internet has its problems like cyberbullies and false information, as long as we keep the right attitude in mind, we can still benefit a lot from it. 让步状语从句 + as long as 条件状语从句，辩证结尾升华 结尾对网络进行思辨感悟，拒绝片面单一评价 4. Language Building 一、主题词块 因受伤被困在家里 ___________________ 为了给自己作伴 ___________________ 经历艰难的日子 ___________________ 害怕被别人取笑 ___________________ 匿名发布故事 ___________________ 如潮水般涌来的支持 ___________________ 受到温暖话语的鼓舞 ___________________ 更新博客 ___________________ 网络霸凌 ___________________ 从…… 中获益 ___________________ 【答案】 be stuck at home due to injury to keep oneself company go through those tough days be afraid of being made fun of post one’s story anonymously a flood of support inspired by warm words update one’s blog cyberbully / cyberbullying benefit from… 二、描写句式 被困在家，她只能依靠网络排解孤独。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 害怕遭到网上陌生人的嘲讽，她选择匿名发表自己的经历。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 让她最意外的是，许许多多的陌生人给了她真诚的安慰与建议。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 被网友善意的留言深深鼓舞，她决定继续在博客分享自己的生活点滴。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 网络将她和广阔的世界连接在一起，她不再被孤独笼罩。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 尽管互联网充斥着虚假信息与网络暴力，但只要我们心怀正确的态度，依然可以从中收获很多。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 这次经历使她意识到：虚拟世界和现实世界一样，善意无处不在。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________【答案】 Stuck at home, she could only rely on the Internet to drive away loneliness. Afraid of being made fun of by strangers online, she chose to post her experience anonymously. What surprised her most was that quantities of strangers offered her sincere comfort and advice. Deeply inspired by the netizens’ kind comments, she determined to keep sharing bits of her life on her blog. With the network connecting her to the wide world, she was no longer surrounded by loneliness. Although the Internet is filled with false information and cyberbullying, as long as we keep a proper attitude in mind, we can still gain a great deal from it. This experience made her realize that kindness exists everywhere in the virtual world just as in the real world. 三、衔接表达 1. 处境引出类 Due to… 由于……；Stuck in…困于…… 2. 心理顾虑类 Afraid of…害怕……；Worried that…担心…… 3. 意外转折类 What surprised sb most was that…最让某人意外的是……；However然而 4. 外界影响类 Inspired by…受到…… 鼓舞；Encouraged by…被…… 鼓励 5. 结尾反思升华类 Although…, as long as…尽管……，只要……；It makes sb realize that…使某人意识到…… 5. Mini-Writing 写作模型：困境→求助网络→内心顾虑→网络行动→网友反馈→心态转变→主题反思 一、交代处境背景 写作重点：分词作状语交代困境 1. 因为一场意外，Mark 受伤被困家中，百无聊赖。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 【答案】 Stuck at home because of an accident, Mark felt extremely bored. 二、萌生想法，内心顾虑 写作重点：形容词短语作状语写出人物心理担忧 2. 渴望倾诉自己的烦恼，但害怕遭到网友嘲讽，他决定匿名在博客写下自己的故事。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 【答案】 Eager to pour out his troubles but afraid of being made fun of by netizens, he decided to write down his story on the blog anonymously. 三、网络上的意外反馈（两种分支：善意 / 遭遇网络恶评） 写作重点：主语从句表达出乎意料的网络反馈 3. 让他万万没想到的是，大量陌生人给他发来充满善意的留言。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 【答案】 What he never expected was that a flood of strangers sent him comments full of kindness. 四、外界反馈带来人物改变 写作重点：过去分词作状语表达受到外界影响 4. 被这些温暖的留言深深打动，他鼓起勇气继续更新自己的博客。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 【答案】 Deeply touched by these warm messages, he gathered his courage and kept updating his blog. 五、环境烘托心理变化 写作重点：with 复合结构体现网络带来的改变 5. 网络将他与广阔世界联系在一起，他不再深陷于孤单之中。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 【答案】 With the network linking him to the outside world, he was no longer trapped in loneliness. 六、结尾辩证反思升华 写作重点：although 让步状语从句 + as long as 条件从句，辩证看待互联网 6. 他逐渐明白：尽管互联网存在许多风险，但只要我们保持理性，网络依然可以传递温暖。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 【答案】 He gradually understood that although the Internet holds many risks, it can still spread warmth as long as we stay rational. 6. Writing Task 一、微写作训练（读后续写片段） 原文梗概 Mark had a bad fall and hurt his leg. Stuck at home for months, he felt lonely and upset. He enjoyed reading blog posts online. One day an idea popped into his mind: he wanted to share his frustrating experience of recovery on the Internet. However, he hesitated. He worried that he would become a target for trolls and be laughed at by strangers online. 续写情节框架 困境：摔伤腿，被困家中数月，内心孤独烦闷 ↓ 萌生想法：想在网上分享自己康复的煎熬经历 ↓ 心理挣扎：害怕遭遇网络暴力，内心犹豫不决 ↓ 网络行动：最终匿名发布自己的故事 ↓ 意外反馈：收到大量陌生网友的善意留言与建议 ↓ 自我转变：深受鼓舞，不再感到孤单 ↓ 主题反思：辩证看待网络，网络既藏有风险，也可以传递善意 翻译练习 马克重重摔了一跤，腿受了伤。被困在家好几个月，他感到孤独又沮丧。浏览网络博客时，他萌生一个念头，想要分享自己难熬的康复经历。但他犹豫不决，害怕成为挑事者攻击的目标，被网上陌生人取笑。几经犹豫，他匿名发布了自己的故事。让他大为意外的是，潮水般的善意从四面八方涌来。无数陌生人留下鼓励的话语，还给他提供康复小建议。被这些温暖的留言深深鼓舞，他开始定期更新博客。网络将他与广阔的世界相连，他不再被孤独裹挟。这次经历让他懂得，尽管互联网存在网络霸凌等隐患，但只要心怀善意，网络也可以传递人间温暖。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 【参考译文】 Mark had a bad fall and hurt his leg. Stuck at home for months, he felt lonely and upset. While browsing online blogs, an idea occurred to him that he wanted to share his frustrating experience of recovery. Yet he hesitated, fearing he would become a target for trolls and be laughed at by strangers online. After some hesitation, he posted his story anonymously. What took him greatly by surprise was that a flood of kindness poured in from all directions. Countless strangers left encouraging words and offered practical advice for recovery. Deeply inspired by these warm comments, he began to update his blog on a regular basis. With the network connecting him to the wide world, he was no longer seized by loneliness. This experience taught him that despite hidden risks such as cyberbullying, the Internet can also pass on human warmth as long as we hold kindness in our hearts. 7. Self-Assessment 一、四维量表 评价维度 5 分：优秀 4 分：良好 3 分：基本达标 12 分：有待改进 情节融洽度 与原文情境紧密衔接；遵循 “困境顾虑发帖网络反馈心态转变反思” 完整逻辑链条，情节过渡自然，无跳跃 与原文基本衔接；主要情节合理，个别细节铺垫不足 完成基础故事，事件简单罗列，因果联系薄弱 脱离原文设定，情节矛盾突兀 人物一致性 人物情绪变化有理有据；顾虑、惊喜、受鼓舞层层递进，符合普通人面对网络的心理状态 人物行为大体合理，情绪转变略仓促 人物行为模板化，缺少内心细节 人物言行与前文设定冲突，情绪突变无理由 主题升华 辩证看待互联网利弊，从故事细节自然生发感悟；拒绝片面美化 / 全盘否定网络，不生硬套格言 点明网络的两面性，但感悟表达直白简单 仅有简单总结感悟，和故事关联不强 没有感悟升华，或者强行贴大道理 语言表达 熟练使用分词 / 形容词状语、with 复合结构、主语从句；句式多变；衔接自然，几乎无错误 使用部分单元高级语块、复合句；少量错误，不影响理解 以简单句为主，语法搭配有错误，表意尚可 大量病句，语义不通，照搬原文 二、范文赏析 Mark had a bad fall and hurt his leg. Stuck at home for months, he felt lonely and upset. While browsing online blogs, an idea occurred to him that he wanted to share his frustrating experience of recovery. Yet he hesitated, fearing he would become a target for trolls and be laughed at by strangers online. After some hesitation, he posted his story anonymously. What took him greatly by surprise was that a flood of kindness poured in from all directions. Countless strangers left encouraging words and offered practical advice for recovery. Deeply inspired by these warm comments, he began to update his blog on a regular basis. With the network connecting him to the wide world, he was no longer seized by loneliness. This experience taught him that despite hidden risks such as cyberbullying, the Internet can also pass on human warmth as long as we hold kindness in our hearts. 三、四维升格示例 评价维度 原句 主要问题 升格后 升格点 核心原则 情节融洽度 Mark was hurt. He posted his story online. Many people comforted him. He felt happy. 只有事件结果，缺少内心顾虑、犹豫的过程，情节链条断裂。 Stuck at home with an injured leg, Mark hesitated for a long time, afraid of being laughed at online. Eventually he posted his story anonymously. What surprised him most was that many strangers gave him sincere comfort. 补充处境、内心顾虑、匿名发帖的细节；写出 “意外收到善意” 这个转折。 续写不只写发生什么，还要写人物的心理挣扎。 人物一致性 He was very worried at first, and soon he was completely happy and forgot all risks. 心理转变过于突兀，完全抹去对网络风险的思考，不符合真实逻辑。 Though cheered up by kind comments, he still kept in mind hidden online risks. Gradually, he felt much better instead of being totally carefree. 保留对网络风险的认知；情绪是逐渐好转，不是瞬间毫无顾虑。 人物情绪应当渐变，不能瞬间彻底反转。 主题升华 The Internet is very good and helpful to us. 感悟片面单一，没有体现互联网双刃剑的单元主题。 It dawned on him that the Internet is a doubleedged sword. While it contains cyberbullying and false information, it can spread warmth if we treat it properly. 体现辩证思维，结合本次网上收获善意的经历得出感悟。 感悟要来自故事本身，拒绝片面口号。 语言表达 Mark stayed home. He was bored. He wrote his story. Many people helped him. 一堆简单短句堆砌，缺少本单元重点语法结构。 Stuck at home due to injury, Mark felt bored. Afraid of online mockery, he posted his story anonymously. What surprised him most was a flood of comfort from strangers. 使用分词状语、形容词短语状语、主语从句；长短句结合。 语言升格优先用好本单元学过的句式，而不是一味堆砌生词。 8. Homework 微情景段落迁移写作 要求：任选一个情境，严格按照困境 → 求助网络 → 内心顾虑 → 网络行动 → 陌生人反馈 → 心态转变 → 辩证反思逻辑，完成 80110 词续写段落；至少使用分词 / 形容词短语作状语、with 复合结构其中一种语法。 作业一 情境：Lily 因为社交焦虑，现实中很难交到知心朋友。她想在网络社区倾诉自己的烦恼，却又担心遭到别人的嘲讽。犹豫再三，她匿名发布帖子。出乎她意料，许多网友分享相似经历，给予理解与开导。她不再那么自卑，也懂得：网络有风险，但也能给孤独的人带去慰藉。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 作业二 情境：Tom 在现实生活中遭遇挫折，心情低落。他打算把烦恼发布在网络博客，但害怕成为网络攻击的目标。几经纠结之后，他写下自己的真实感受。然而，部分评论充满恶意，也有不少善良网友站出来安慰、支持他。这件事让他对网络的两面性有了更深体会。 ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 【参考范文】 作业一 Suffering from social anxiety, Lily could hardly make close friends in reallife. Eager to pour out her inner troubles online, she feared that she would be mocked by netizens. After longtime hesitation, she posted her feelings anonymously. What surprised her was that many strangers shared similar experiences and offered understanding. Inspired by their words, her selfconfidence slowly returned. With the online community accompanying her, she was less trapped in inferiority. It dawned on her that risky as the Internet can be, it is also capable of bringing comfort to lonely souls. 作业二 Frustrated by setbacks in real life, Tom intended to pour out his feelings on his blog. Yet he feared that he might become a target of online attacks. After struggling inside, he posted his true thoughts. To his mixed surprise, some comments were filled with cruelty, while quantities of kind netizens stepped up to comfort and support him. With mixed feelings welling up inside him, he gained deeper insight. Although the Internet is a doubleedged sword, we can choose to pass on warmth in the virtual world. 14 / 17 学科网（北京）股份有限公司 学科网（北京）股份有限公司 $