杭州二中9月开学考读后续写精讲AI画出的温度-2027年高考英语写作指导

杭州二中9月开学考读后续写精讲 -- AI画出的温度：从“身体衰败”到“友谊长存” 导语 这篇续写和常见的“救人”“迷路”“比赛”不同，它的冲突不在外部，而在身体与情感之间——Paul的身体在一点点垮掉，但三个人的友谊却在AI画图中越来越紧。 真题原文 Two winters ago, my college roommate Paul was gradually losing the ability to do almost everything else. He could still walk, but only with a cane. He could eat solid foods, though with trouble, and could drink the medication powder he mixed into water—but he began coughing more and more as he labored to swallow anything. Though his body was failing him, Paul was determined to keep our bond free of sorrow. Through messages, he sent us texts encouraging Evan and me to spare him no humor during the time we had left. So jokes, GIFs and memes became the rule. Then he began showing us the “art” he was making. He used his fingers, technically, but not in the way an artist holds a brush; Paul merely typed the words of what he wanted to see into Midjourney, an AI image generator. Seconds later, Midjourney produced four images onto his screen. To us, they looked like real paintings and that no painter would create this way made it all the more humorous. Pretty quickly, Evan and I started making AI pictures with our own prompts too. We made thousands. Any random thought that crossed our minds, Midjourney absorbed and spat out. Later, beginning that January with an image called “Tension at the Golden Corral buffet.”, we started talking about putting together a 2024 calendar of our AI artwork. It was full of strange creatures and scenes. The calendar was a piece of physical media that the three of us could share throughout the year. We also planned to make a new calendar for 2025 and compile our favorite works into a memory book. I could probably never argue in favor of what the technology of artificial intelligence might ultimately bring, or its future effect on artists, writers and culture. It does scare me a little. But one thing I am absolutely sure of: AI brought precious warmth and laughter to my friend Paul struggling with ALS (渐冻症). Paragraph 1: As Paul’s health slowly worsened, our AI creation became our closest bond. Paragraph 2: We spread our printed-out calendars over the desk, with those magic-filled pictures. 原文逐段精读拆解（事实信息 + 隐藏伏笔 + 学生易错理解） 第1段 Two winters ago, my college roommate Paul was gradually losing the ability to do almost everything else. He could still walk, but only with a cane. He could eat solid foods, though with trouble, and could drink the medication powder he mixed into water—but he began coughing more and more as he labored to swallow anything. 事实信息： Paul身体逐步衰退，患上渐冻症，依靠拐杖行走，吞咽进食非常费力，喝水服药都会剧烈咳嗽。 关键信号词： gradually losing the ability：身体机能缓慢丧失，不是骤然病危死亡，和P1段首句health slowly worsened严格对应。 labored to swallow：labored含义“费力地、艰难地做”；续写可以迁移这个词义，描写Paul打字也要耗费巨大力气。 🚫学生易错：不要写成Paul马上生命终结，故事是一个慢慢恶化的过程。 第2段 Though his body was failing him, Paul was determined to keep our bond free of sorrow. Through messages, he sent us texts encouraging Evan and me to spare him no humor during the time we had left. So jokes, GIFs and memes became the rule. Then he began showing us the “art” he was making. He used his fingers, technically, but not in the way an artist holds a brush; Paul merely typed the words of what he wanted to see into Midjourney, an AI image generator. Seconds later, Midjourney produced four images onto his screen. To us, they looked like real paintings and that no painter would create this way made it all the more humorous. 事实信息： 身体衰败，但Paul不希望友谊被悲伤笼罩。主动要求朋友不要顾及他的病痛，尽情开玩笑。Paul不靠画笔，靠输入文字提示词，使用AI工具生成图片，创作这件事对三人来说充满趣味。 核心伏笔： 1. keep our bond free of sorrow：友谊拒绝被悲伤淹没，续写不能全程哭戏。悲伤藏于内心，外在相处是玩笑与欢笑。 2. spare him no humor：重点短语！含义：不要顾及我而收敛幽默，尽管和我开玩笑。 🚫高频理解错误：很多学生翻译反，理解成“不要和我开玩笑”，整篇续写基调直接写崩。 创作方式：Paul是type prompts（输入提示词），不是draw/paint画画，续写动作描写要匹配原文。 情感定位：AI创作首先是娱乐消遣，并非严肃艺术创作。 第3段 Pretty quickly, Evan and I started making AI pictures with our own prompts too. We made thousands. Any random thought that crossed our minds, Midjourney absorbed and spat out. Later, beginning that January with an image called “Tension at the Golden Corral buffet.”, we started talking about putting together a 2024 calendar of our AI artwork. It was full of strange creatures and scenes. The calendar was a piece of physical media that the three of us could share throughout the year. We also planned to make a new calendar for 2025 and compile our favorite works into a memory book. 事实信息： 我与Evan也参与AI创作，脑洞想到什么就生成什么。 ✅原文状态：2024日历，已经开始讨论制作（started talking about putting together），是physical media实体印刷品，可以触摸、三人共同分享。 ⚠️仅仅是计划planned to make：2025日历、memory book记忆册，还没有开始制作。 🚫学生大坑：忽略planned，续写直接写“已经做完2025日历、记忆册”，属于情节硬伤，违背原文。 重要意象：physical media虚拟AI图片要变成打印出来摸得到的实物。第二段续写首句printed-out calendars就是回扣这个点。 画面风格：strange creatures and scenes画面是荒诞、怪异、脑洞大，不是唯美风景画。 第4段（全文主旨段） I could probably never argue in favor of what the technology of artificial intelligence might ultimately bring, or its future effect on artists, writers and culture. It does scare me a little. But one thing I am absolutely sure of: AI brought precious warmth and laughter to my friend Paul struggling with ALS (渐冻症). 事实信息： 叙述者“我”对AI技术本身抱有疑虑、甚至有一点害怕。But之后是全文主题句：技术本身好坏暂且不论，但AI给病痛中的Paul带来珍贵的温暖与欢笑。 👉写作启示： 续写不要去辩论AI的利与弊，不要讨论AI对艺术的冲击。 续写结尾要回扣内涵，禁止直接原句照搬。 📝读完原文，要让学生记下4条阅读结论： 1. 人物基调：Paul身体慢慢变差，但拒绝悲伤，希望朋友多开玩笑；欢笑底下藏不舍。 2. 创作形式：Paul靠打字输入提示词生成AI图片，不是画画。 3. 日历区分：2024已经在筹备；2025、memory book只是计划。 4. 故事主线：AI是媒介载体，核心写人与人之间的友谊。 ━━━━━━ ✦ ━━━━━━ 一、读透原文｜5R深度解读 5R = Roles（人物）· Rifts（冲突）· Roadmap（情节线）· Reactions（情感变化）· Root（主题） 人物 “我”：Paul的大学室友，叙述者。对AI技术持保留态度，但亲眼看到AI给Paul带来的温暖。情感：矛盾、珍惜、不舍。 Paul：ALS渐冻症患者，身体逐渐失去功能。但他主动要求“spare him no humor”，用幽默对抗病痛。他用Midjourney生成图像，把AI变成友谊的媒介。情感：坚强、幽默、不愿让朋友为自己悲伤。 Evan：另一个室友。和“我”一起参与AI创作，三人共同制作日历。情感：陪伴、参与、珍惜。 冲突 表层冲突：Paul的身体在衰败，ALS让他的身体机能一点点消失。 深层冲突：Paul想让友谊free of sorrow vs. 朋友们心里清楚相伴的时间有限。 更深的冲突：“我”对AI技术的怀疑 vs. AI确实带来了难得的温暖和笑声。 情节线 Paul身体衰败 → 用幽默维系友谊 → 开始用Midjourney做“艺术” → “我”和Evan加入 → 三人一起生成大量AI图 → 着手筹备2024日历 → 计划（尚未动工）制作2025日历和记忆册 情感变化 Paul：身体衰败 → 主动要求幽默对待自己 → 投入AI创作 → 维系友谊 → 珍惜相处时光 “我”：旁观 → 参与共创 → 珍惜共处 → 暗藏不舍 → 领悟：冰冷技术可以传递人间温度 主题 技术本身可能是冰冷的，但人可以赋予它温度。AI本身不等于艺术，但它可以成为友谊的载体。Paul的肉体在衰败，但三个人的情感联结，在AI创作中愈发牢固。 原文关键铺垫 1. "spare him no humor"：Paul主动希望朋友不要刻意悲伤。 2. "a piece of physical media that the three of us could share"：日历是实体可触摸的载体。 3. "planned to make a new calendar for 2025"：这是未来的计划，不是现成成品。 4. "compile our favorite works into a memory book"：记忆册是心中期许，而非已经完成。 5. "AI brought precious warmth and laughter"：主题句，续写结尾需要回扣内涵，禁止直接原句照搬。 ━━━━━━ ✦ ━━━━━━ 二、解读两段段首句，锁定每段场景、硬性任务 ✅第一段段首句 As Paul's health slowly worsened, our AI creation became our closest bond. 时间：Paul健康逐步恶化；人物：三人；事件：AI创作成为彼此最紧密的纽带。 硬性要求：P1要写出「身体日渐衰败」与「AI创作维系情谊」二者并存。不能只写AI玩得开心，忽略病痛；也不能通篇写病重悲伤，丢掉幽默底色。 情节任务：身体变差，见面愈发困难，但AI线上创作没有中断，三人一起筛选素材，着手筹备2025日历的素材（尚未完工）。 🎯P1规划收尾句： Page by page, we gathered our finest pieces for the upcoming 2025 calendar. （注意：这里只是收集素材，2025日历尚未完工。收尾句用gathered，不用finished。） ✅第二段段首句 We spread our printed-out calendars over the desk, with those magic-filled pictures. 时间：日历印刷完成之后；人物：三人；事件：把印刷好的实体日历铺在桌面上。 📌桌上铺开的是已经落地的2024实体日历。 硬性要求：描写实体日历带来的触感、共同回忆；回收伏笔：尚未完成的2025日历、memory book；完成主题升华。 🎯P2规划收尾句： We still planned to make the 2025 calendar and a memory book. Yet even if they might never get finished, we had already created something no AI could ever generate—a friendship that laughed in the face of goodbye. （注意：planned to make直接回扣原文，不是hoped for。） ━━━━━━ ✦ ━━━━━━ 📚重点新增：分场景精细化话题语料库 使用说明：每个场景给出【场景名称、节奏、情感指向、原文迁移点、细分语料（短语/短句）】。学生根据情节、节奏挑选短语，搭配14类功能句自己组装句子，避免背诵成品句。 📖P1四大场景语料库 场景1-1：Paul身体日渐恶化，打字变得艰难 节奏：🔹慢节奏 情感：心疼、无力 原文迁移：his body was failing him；labored to swallow（费力做某事迁移到打字） 语料集合： 1. his body kept failing him 他的身体持续垮掉 2. grow increasingly stiff （肌肉）变得越来越僵硬 3. every movement cost him much energy 每一个动作都耗费大量体力 4. struggle to type each prompt 费力敲下每一条提示词 5. breathe heavily from exhaustion 因疲惫而粗重呼吸 6. fingers barely responding to his will 手指几乎不听使唤 7. sink deeper into physical weakness 身体愈发虚弱 8. make simple typing an exhausting task 让简单打字成为耗力的事 ✨搭配功能句建议：无灵主语（his body kept failing him）+ 分词作结果状语（making simple typing an exhausting task） 场景1-2：现实见面变少，线上成为主要联结渠道 节奏：🔹慢节奏过渡 情感：隐隐焦虑、不舍 原文迁移：friendship / bond友谊纽带 语料集合： 1. face-to-face visits grow rare 当面见面变得稀少 2. physical meetings become impossible 现实见面变得难以实现 3. rely on online screens for connection 依靠线上屏幕维系联系 4. distance could not tear our bond apart 距离无法撕裂我们的纽带 5. turn to online interaction for company 转向线上互动获取陪伴 6. our bond survived despite physical separation 纵然相隔，纽带依旧存续 ✨搭配功能句建议：with复合结构（With physical meetings impossible, we turned to online screens for connection.） 场景1-3：三人线上AI共创，脑洞碰撞，欢笑驱散压抑 节奏：🔸快节奏 情感：欢笑、短暂逃离悲伤 原文迁移：absorbed and spat out；spare him no humor；jokes 语料集合： 1. toss around wild creative ideas 抛出天马行空的创意 2. come up with random silly thoughts 冒出各种荒唐脑洞 3. comment on each newly-generated image 点评每一张新生成的图片 4. burst into fits of laughter 一阵阵开怀大笑 5. share humorous remarks 分享幽默吐槽 6. chase fun amid sufferings 在苦难之中追寻欢乐 7. laughter chase away the gloomy atmosphere 笑声驱散压抑氛围 8. joke about strange-looking figures 对着怪异画面开玩笑 ✨搭配功能句建议：动作链（tossed around ideas, commented on images and burst into laughter）+ 感官描写（听觉：laughter echoing） 场景1-4：筛选图片，为2025日历收集素材（尚未完工，只收集） 节奏：🔹慢节奏 情感：珍惜当下，心怀期许 原文迁移：planned to make a new calendar for 2025 语料集合： screen masses of AI-produced pictures 筛选海量AI生成图片 pick out the most impressive works 挑出最打动人的作品 polish details of selected images 打磨选中图片的细节 gather pieces for the upcoming 2025 calendar 为筹备的2025日历收集作品 pile up promising candidates 堆积备选佳作 hold high hopes for our future calendar 对未来日历满怀期许 ✨搭配功能句建议：地点/方式状语强化意象（Page by page, we gathered...） 📖P2四大场景语料库 场景2-1：印刷好的2024日历铺在桌面，奇幻画面映入眼帘 节奏：🔹慢节奏，画面定格 情感：温暖，被回忆包裹 原文迁移：printed-out calendars；physical media；strange creatures and scenes；magic-filled pictures 语料集合： 1. spread printed-out 2024 calendars across the desk 将印刷好的2024日历铺在桌面 2. lie scattered all over the desktop 散落在整张书桌上 3. strange creatures and fancy scenes leap into sight 奇异生物、奇幻景象跃入眼帘 4. full of our unique inside jokes 满是只有我们懂的梗 5. tangible evidence of our shared fun 我们共同欢乐实实在在的物证 6. paper pages carry our past joy 纸页承载过往的欢乐时光 ✨搭配功能句建议：表语前置倒装（Spread across the desk were strange creatures and fancy scenes born from our wild thoughts.） 场景2-2：虚弱的Paul看见日历，展露笑意，继续开玩笑 节奏：🔹慢节奏，人物细节刻画 情感：感动，夹杂心酸 原文迁移：spare him no humor，拒绝悲伤，保持幽默 语料集合： 1. one glimpse of the calendars 一瞥日历 2. pale face light up with genuine amusement 苍白的脸庞漾出发自内心的笑意 3. wear a soft smile on his face 脸上带着温柔笑容 4. crack light-hearted jokes 开轻松的玩笑 5. tease about our crazy artwork 拿我们疯狂的作品打趣 6. fill the room with soft laughter 让房间充满轻柔的笑声 7. refuse to be trapped in sorrow 拒绝沉浸于悲伤 ✨搭配功能句建议：as让步倒装（Weak as he was, Paul's pale face lit up with genuine amusement.）+ 分词作伴随状语（teasing about our crazy artwork, filling the room with soft laughter） 场景2-3：一页页翻阅日历，回忆过往共同创作时光 节奏：🔸中等节奏 情感：怀念、回味 原文迁移：回看过往共创的无数下午 语料集合： 1. flip through the pages slowly 慢慢翻动纸页 2. recall those joyful afternoons together 回忆那些共同度过的欢乐午后 3. each page stands for a precious moment 每一页代表一段珍贵瞬间 4. bring back floods of sweet memories 勾起潮水般甜蜜回忆 5. relive the fun we once enjoyed 重温曾经拥有的欢乐 6. every picture tells a little story between us 每一张图画诉说我们之间小故事 ✨搭配功能句建议：动作链（flipped through the pages, recalling every blissful moment）+ 排比（Every page was an afternoon; every afternoon, a burst of laughter.） 场景2-4：谈及对2025日历、记忆册的期许，坦然接受遗憾，升华友谊主题 节奏：🔹慢节奏，向内感悟升华 情感：释然，领悟友谊价值 原文迁移：planned to make a new calendar for 2025；compile our favorite works into a memory book；warmth and laughter 语料集合： 1. hold sincere hopes for the future calendar 对未来日历怀揣真诚期盼 2. long for a memory book gathering our masterpieces 期盼一本汇集佳作的记忆册 3. admit the possibility of unfinished works 接纳作品也许无法完工的可能性 4. cold technology can deliver heartfelt warmth 冰冷技术可以传递发自内心的温暖 5. no AI system can generate real friendship 任何AI都无法生成真正的友谊 6. friendship shines bright beyond physical creations 友谊高于一切实物创作 7. laugh in the face of unavoidable goodbye 直面注定的离别依旧放声欢笑 ✨搭配功能句建议：it形式主语（It is friendship that shines bright beyond physical creations.）+ even if虚拟假设（Even if they might never get finished, we had already created...） ━━━━━━ ✦ ━━━━━━ 六、两篇高质量范文 范文一：克制温暖版 Paragraph 1 As Paul‘s health slowly worsened, our AI creation became our closest bond. His body kept failing him. His muscles grew increasingly stiff, making simple typing an exhausting task. Every movement cost him much energy, yet he never gave up. Propped up on his bed, he would struggle to type each prompt, his fingers barely responding to his will. With physical meetings becoming impossible, we turned to online screens for company. Distance could not tear our bond apart. Every afternoon, we tossed around wild creative ideas, commented on each newly-generated image and burst into fits of laughter. Laughter chased away the gloomy atmosphere. Page by page, we gathered our finest pieces for the upcoming 2025 calendar. 随着Paul的健康慢慢恶化，我们的AI创作成了我们最紧密的纽带。他的身体持续垮掉。他的肌肉变得越来越僵硬，让最简单的打字都成了一件耗尽力气的事。每一个动作都耗费他大量体力，但他从未放弃。靠在床上，他会费力地敲下每一条提示词，手指几乎不听使唤。现实见面变得难以实现，我们转向线上屏幕获取陪伴。距离无法撕裂我们的纽带。每天下午，我们抛出天马行空的创意，点评每一张新生成的图片，然后一阵阵开怀大笑。笑声驱散了压抑的氛围。一页又一页，我们为筹备中的2025日历收集了最好的作品。 Paragraph 2 We spread our printed-out calendars over the desk, with those magic-filled pictures. Spread across the desk were strange creatures and fancy scenes born from our wild thoughts. The instant Paul caught sight of them, his pale face lit up with genuine amusement. Weak as he was, he still teased about our crazy artwork, filling the room with soft laughter. We flipped through the pages slowly, recalling those joyful afternoons together. Every page was an afternoon; every afternoon, a burst of laughter. Cold as AI technology is, it served as a warm link connecting our hearts. We still planned to make the 2025 calendar and a memory book. Yet even if they might never get finished, we had already created something no AI could ever generate—a friendship that laughed in the face of goodbye. 我们把印好的日历铺在桌上，那些充满魔力的图画铺满了整张桌子。桌上铺开的，是源自我们疯狂脑洞的奇异生物和奇幻场景。Paul一看到它们，苍白的脸上就漾出发自内心的笑意。尽管他很虚弱，他还是拿我们疯狂的作品打趣，让房间充满了轻柔的笑声。我们慢慢地翻着页，回忆那些共同度过的欢乐午后。每一页都是一个下午；每一个下午，都是一阵笑声。AI技术再冷，它却成了一条温暖的纽带，连接着我们的心。我们仍然计划制作2025年的日历和一本记忆册。但即使它们可能永远无法完工，我们已经创造了一样AI永远生成不出来的东西——一段在告别面前依然放声大笑的友谊。 范文二：文学细腻版 Paragraph 1 As Paul’s health slowly worsened, our AI creation became our closest bond. His body sank deeper into physical weakness, each movement costing him much energy. Typing even the shortest prompt became a battle. He would breathe heavily from exhaustion, his fingers barely responding to his will. Yet he refused to let sorrow in. With face-to-face visits growing rare, our screens became the only place where the three of us still laughed together. We came up with random silly thoughts, shared humorous remarks, and joked about strange-looking figures until our sides ached. In those hours, the weight of illness lifted, and we were simply three friends making each other laugh. Page by page, we gathered our finest pieces for the upcoming 2025 calendar. 随着Paul的健康慢慢恶化，我们的AI创作成了我们最紧密的纽带。他的身体愈发虚弱，每一个动作都耗费他大量体力。连打最短的提示词都成了一场战斗。他会因疲惫而粗重呼吸，手指几乎不听使唤。但他拒绝让悲伤进来。当面见面变得稀少，屏幕成了我们三个人还能一起大笑的唯一地方。我们冒出各种荒唐脑洞，分享幽默吐槽，对着怪异画面开玩笑，直到笑得两肋发酸。在那些时刻，病痛的重量被卸下了，我们只是三个互相逗笑的朋友。一页又一页，我们为筹备中的2025日历收集了最好的作品。 Paragraph 2 We spread our printed-out calendars over the desk, with those magic-filled pictures. There they lay scattered all over the desktop—tangible evidence of our shared fun. Strange creatures and fancy scenes leapt into sight, each page full of our unique inside jokes. The instant Paul caught sight of them, a soft smile spread across his pale face. Weak as he was, he still cracked light-hearted jokes, refusing to be trapped in sorrow. We flipped through the pages slowly, and every picture told a little story between us. Cold and mechanical as AI might be, it delivered heartfelt warmth. We still hoped for the 2025 calendar and a memory book gathering our masterpieces. Yet even if they might never be finished, we had already created something no AI could ever generate—a friendship that shone bright beyond physical creations. 我们把印好的日历铺在桌上，那些充满魔力的图画铺满了整张桌子。它们散落在整张书桌上——那是我们共同欢乐实实在在的物证。奇异生物、奇幻景象跃入眼帘，每一页都满是只有我们懂的梗。Paul一看到它们，一抹温柔的笑容在他苍白的脸上绽开。尽管他很虚弱，他还是开着轻松的玩笑，拒绝沉浸于悲伤。我们慢慢地翻着页，每一张图画都诉说着我们之间的一个小故事。AI再冷再机械，它却传递了发自内心的温暖。我们仍然期盼着2025年的日历，期盼一本汇集佳作的记忆册。但即使它们可能永远无法完工，我们已经创造了一样AI永远生成不出来的东西——一段高于一切实物创作、熠熠生辉的友谊。 学科网（北京）股份有限公司 $