第05讲 2025年全国一卷高考读后续写真题写作微技能：情绪链追踪（复习讲练）2027年高考英语一轮复习读后续写高分突破

第05讲 从真题习得读后续写写作微技能：情绪链追踪 （2025年全国一卷·读后续写) 高考场·真题再现 阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。 My wife and I wanted to share our new home with family and friends by hosting a small gathering in the early summer. She had prepared lots of snacks, while my job was to have the backyard in order. There was plenty of space for the kids to run and play. There was just one thing I hadn’t counted on: My brother chose to bring his dog Toby, a 50-pound ball of fire. Though friendly, he could easily knock over my niece’s small boys and my six-month-old granddaughter. So, when my brother showed up, I asked him to watch Toby and keep him outside. My plan was working out just fine. Toby was using up his energy by running back and forth in the backyard and giving the kids plenty of room. Unexpectedly, after supper, the weather changed. It started to rain and everyone went indoors. It was an awkward moment. I didn’t want Toby to be running around in the house, and my brother wasn’t happy with driving home with a wet dog. Eventually, my brother decided to leave rather than force the issue. A few days passed, and I hadn’t heard anything from my brother. I texted him and expressed wishes for him to come out again. His reply came as a surprise — a shock, actually: “Not a chance.” Clearly, he was unhappy over the way we had parted. After all, I had left him little choice. Well, he’ll get over it, I reasoned. Two months passed. My wife suggested I get in touch with my brother, but I resisted, thinking he should call first. However, my conscience (良心) kept bothering me. I tried to put myself in my brother’s shoes. He was facing health issues and his wife of thirty-five years had passed away a few months earlier. Toby was his constant companion, the one who kept him going. 注意： (1)续写词数应为150个左右。 (2)请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。 I realized it was me who was at fault. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ With the biscuits my wife had made, I arrived at my brother’s door. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 善工具·技法锤炼 情绪链追踪 1、 什么是情绪链追踪？ 情绪链追踪是指追踪情绪在事件推进中的动态变化轨迹——情绪如何随事件翻转、如何被细节触发、如何从一个状态滑向另一个状态。 简言之，情绪链追踪就是让情绪像情节一样有起承转合——每个情绪变化都有原因，每个情绪状态都有细节，每个情绪终点都回扣起点。 2、 完整情绪链拆解 阶段 事件 情绪状态 原文依据 1 热情、期待 2 担忧、防备 3 掌控、安心 4 ........ 3、 “情绪链追踪”能解决学生什么痛点？ 痛点1：情绪标签化， 阅卷老师读起来像在读情绪词典，没有画面感，没有代入感 痛点2：情绪跳跃，没有过渡，阅卷老师觉得假、觉得突兀，情感转变没有说服力 痛点3：情绪与情节脱节，是两条平行线，没有交织，没有互相推动 真题练·学以致用 · 原文已提供的环节（续写前要完成的部分） 阶段 事件 情绪状态 原文依据 1 准备聚会 热情、期待 "wanted to share our new home" 2 得知要带狗 担忧、防备 "one thing I hadn't counted on" 3 计划顺利 掌控、安心 "My plan was working out just fine" 4 天气突变 尴尬、两难 "It was an awkward moment" 5 兄弟离开 自我辩解 "I had left him little choice" 6 收到"没门"回复 震惊 "a shock, actually" 7 自我合理化 防御 "Well, he'll get over it, I reasoned" 8 妻子建议联系 抗拒 "I resisted, thinking he should call first" 9 良心不安 内疚萌芽 "my conscience kept bothering me" 10 换位思考 共情觉醒 "I tried to put myself in my brother's shoes" 11 看见真相 顿悟、愧疚 "I realized it was me who was at fault" · 续写需要完成的链条 I realized it was me who was at fault. 步骤 情绪 触发点 细节外化 1 愧疚涌上 想起兄弟的处境 "Health issues, loss of his wife, Toby as his only companion" (1) 衔接1 我没能理解Toby对我兄弟的重大意义 请在下方横线处作答，书写你的句子：________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ What I did was unfair to my brother especially during a tough time in his life. For my brother, Toby was more a comfort and support than just a pet. 步骤 情绪 触发点 细节外化 2 自责加深 想起自己的冷漠 "Two months of silence, my resistance" （2）情绪推进 我十分后悔，为自己的做法感到羞耻，并愧疚不已 请在下方横线处作答，书写你的句子：________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ So much did I regret it that I felt ashamed of myself and guilt surrounded me for a moment. 步骤 情绪 触发点 细节外化 3 决心行动 妻子的支持 "My wife nodded and handed me the biscuits she had made" （3）情节推进 在妻子的帮助下，我决心真诚地向我兄弟道歉 请在下方横线处作答，书写你的句子：________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ I resolved to take action. Learning of my decision, my wife offered to bake some biscuits for me to take to my brothers and Toby. 步骤 情绪 触发点 细节外化 4 紧张忐忑 走向兄弟家门 "My heart pounded as I walked up the driveway" （4）衔接2 我内心又紧张又忐忑，走向兄弟家门 请在下方横线处作答，书写你的句子：________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ Nervous and uneasy, I made my way to my brother’s house. With the biscuits my wife had made, I arrived at my brother’ s door. 步骤 事件 情绪状态 核心细节 1 敲门等待 紧张忐忑 脚步沉重、手抖、想退缩 2 门开了，兄弟出现 意外 + 紧张升级 Toby 先出来破冰，兄弟表情难测 (1) 衔接3 我鼓起勇气按响门铃，先听到Toby的叫声；随后我兄弟惊讶地来开门。 请在下方横线处作答，书写你的句子：________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ Gathering my courage, I rang the doorbell. Toby began barking inside. Then my brother opened the door with astonishment. 步骤 事件 情绪状态 核心细节 3 递饼干道歉，兄弟沉默 脆弱 + 恐惧 声音发抖、时间凝固 (2) 情节推进（一定围绕核心人物展开，含回扣伏笔或情绪变化） 兄弟还没来得及说话，我就把饼干递给他 请在下方横线处作答，书写你的句子：________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ Before he could speak, I held up the biscuits to him,saying “ For you and for Toby.” 步骤 事件 情绪状态 核心细节 4 兄弟微笑点头，进门 释然 + 温暖 Toby 挤中间、"Come in, I've missed you" (3) 结尾 听到我说的话，兄弟情不自禁地点点头，并邀请我进门。我们相谈甚欢，冰释前嫌。 请在下方横线处作答，书写你的句子：________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ On hearing what I had said, he couldn’t help nodding his head and invited me to come in. The conversation flowed smoothly between us. (4) 主旨升华 多亏了换位思考，与兄弟重新链接感觉太好了。 请在下方横线处作答，书写你的句子：________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Thanks to putting myself in my brother’s shoes, it felted good to reconnect with my brother. 风向标·评分标准 第五档（很好）(21～25分)： (1)与所给短文融洽度高，与所提供各段落开头语衔接非常合理，文章内容新颖、丰富、合理，非常有逻辑性，续写完整； (2)所使用语法结构和词汇丰富、准确，语言错误很少，且完全不影响意义表达； (3)自然有效地使用了语句间的连接成分，使所续写短文结构紧凑，全文结构非常清晰，前后呼应，意义非常连贯。 锚高分·连句成篇 I realized it was me who was at fault. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ With the biscuits my wife had made, I arrived at my brother’ s door. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 注：本次专题核心训练“情绪链追踪”，范文优先使用课上整理的句型，重点突出整个链条的完整性。因此范文中缺少环境、心理描写与过渡衔接词，属于贴合本节课训练目标的针对性范文。 【范文达标版】 总词数：154 I realized it was me who was at fault. What I did was unfair to my brother, especially during such a tough time in his life. For him, Toby was more a comfort and support than just a pet. So much did I regret it that I felt ashamed of myself, and guilt surrounded me. I resolved to take action. Learning of my decision, my wife offered to bake some biscuits for me to take to my brother and Toby. Nervous and uneasy, I made my way to his house. With the biscuits my wife had made, I arrived at my brother's door. Gathering my courage, I rang the doorbell. Toby began barking inside. Then my brother opened the door with astonishment. Before he could speak, I held up the biscuits to him, saying "For you and for Toby." On hearing what I had said, he couldn't help nodding and invited me to come in. The conversation flowed smoothly between us. Thanks to putting myself in my brother's shoes, it felt good to reconnect with him. 【范文高分版】 总词数：156 I realized it was me who was at fault. Picturing my brother — his fragile health, the loss of his wife, and Toby, the warm presence that got him through the long evenings — shame burned through me. I had turned away the one thing that held him together, then hidden behind two months of stubborn silence. My wife understood without a word; she pressed a tin of homemade biscuits into my hands. "For both of them," she said softly. My heart pounded as I stepped out. With the biscuits my wife had made, I arrived at my brother's door. I rang the bell, and when the door swung open, Toby hurled himself at my knees, tail wagging wildly. My brother stood frozen, surprise crossing his face. Before he could speak, I held out the tin. "I'm sorry," I said, my voice shaking. "For Toby. For everything." A long silence stretched between us. Then his shoulders softened, and he stepped aside. "Thank you." he murmured. As Toby squeezed between us, I stepped inside, feeling something broken quietly begin to mend. 多维评·复盘进阶 项目 填写内容 学生姓名 ____________________ 写作题目 2025年全国一卷读后续写真题 写作日期 ____________________ 互评同学姓名 ____________________ 本次核心 训练点 □ 情绪链追踪梳理 □ 句式多样化运用 □ 连句成篇逻辑衔接 □ 五档评分标准对标 · 总分汇总与档位确认 评分类型 自评总分 互评总分 最终得分（师评） 本次得分对应高考档位 得分 □ 五档（21-25 分） □ 四档（16-20 分） □ 三档（11-15 分） □ 二档（6-10 分） □ 一档（0-5 分） · 三级评语反馈 评价主体 评语内容 学生自评评语 对本次写作的整体评价、核心亮点、最明显的不足： 同学互评评语 对本次写作的亮点肯定、可落地的改进建议： 教师评语 对标五档标准的针对性反馈、高分提升路径： · 自我反思与进步规划 1. 本次写作的核心亮点（对标五档标准，我完全做到了的点）： ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 2. 本次写作的主要失分点 / 待改进的核心问题（对标五档标准，我还有哪些差距）： ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 3. 对比上一次写作，我取得的明确进步是： ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 4. 针对本次写作的不足，我下一步的具体提升计划（可落地、可检验）： ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 5. 我下一次写作的目标分数 / 档位是： ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 6. 我下一次写作一定要使用的句式或词汇： ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 1 / 19 学科网（北京）股份有限公司 $ 第05讲 从真题习得读后续写写作微技能：情绪链追踪 （2025年全国一卷·读后续写) 高考场·真题再现 阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。 My wife and I wanted to share our new home with family and friends by hosting a small gathering in the early summer. She had prepared lots of snacks, while my job was to have the backyard in order. There was plenty of space for the kids to run and play. There was just one thing I hadn’t counted on: My brother chose to bring his dog Toby, a 50-pound ball of fire. Though friendly, he could easily knock over my niece’s small boys and my six-month-old granddaughter. So, when my brother showed up, I asked him to watch Toby and keep him outside. My plan was working out just fine. Toby was using up his energy by running back and forth in the backyard and giving the kids plenty of room. Unexpectedly, after supper, the weather changed. It started to rain and everyone went indoors. It was an awkward moment. I didn’t want Toby to be running around in the house, and my brother wasn’t happy with driving home with a wet dog. Eventually, my brother decided to leave rather than force the issue. A few days passed, and I hadn’t heard anything from my brother. I texted him and expressed wishes for him to come out again. His reply came as a surprise — a shock, actually: “Not a chance.” Clearly, he was unhappy over the way we had parted. After all, I had left him little choice. Well, he’ll get over it, I reasoned. Two months passed. My wife suggested I get in touch with my brother, but I resisted, thinking he should call first. However, my conscience (良心) kept bothering me. I tried to put myself in my brother’s shoes. He was facing health issues and his wife of thirty-five years had passed away a few months earlier. Toby was his constant companion, the one who kept him going. 注意：(1)续写词数应为150个左右。 (2)请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。 I realized it was me who was at fault. ____________________________________________________________________________________________ With the biscuits my wife had made, I arrived at my brother’s door. ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 善工具·技法锤炼 情绪链追踪 1、 什么是情绪链追踪？ 情绪链追踪是指追踪情绪在事件推进中的动态变化轨迹——情绪如何随事件翻转、如何被细节触发、如何从一个状态滑向另一个状态。 简言之，情绪链追踪就是让情绪像情节一样有起承转合——每个情绪变化都有原因，每个情绪状态都有细节，每个情绪终点都回扣起点。 2、 完整情绪链拆解 阶段 事件 情绪状态 原文依据 1 热情、期待 2 担忧、防备 3 掌控、安心 4 ........ 3、 “情绪链追踪”能解决学生什么痛点？ 痛点1：情绪标签化， 阅卷老师读起来像在读情绪词典，没有画面感，没有代入感 痛点2：情绪跳跃，没有过渡，阅卷老师觉得假、觉得突兀，情感转变没有说服力 痛点3：情绪与情节脱节，是两条平行线，没有交织，没有互相推动 真题练·学以致用 · 原文已提供的环节（续写前要完成的部分） 阶段 事件 情绪状态 原文依据 1 准备聚会 热情、期待 "wanted to share our new home" 2 得知要带狗 担忧、防备 "one thing I hadn't counted on" 3 计划顺利 掌控、安心 "My plan was working out just fine" 4 天气突变 尴尬、两难 "It was an awkward moment" 5 兄弟离开 自我辩解 "I had left him little choice" 6 收到"没门"回复 震惊 "a shock, actually" 7 自我合理化 防御 "Well, he'll get over it, I reasoned" 8 妻子建议联系 抗拒 "I resisted, thinking he should call first" 9 良心不安 内疚萌芽 "my conscience kept bothering me" 10 换位思考 共情觉醒 "I tried to put myself in my brother's shoes" 11 看见真相 顿悟、愧疚 "I realized it was me who was at fault" · 续写需要完成的链条 I realized it was me who was at fault. 步骤 情绪 触发点 细节外化 1 愧疚涌上 想起兄弟的处境 "Health issues, loss of his wife, Toby as his only companion" (1) 衔接1 我没能理解Toby对我兄弟的重大意义 请在下方横线处作答，书写你的句子：________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 步骤 情绪 触发点 细节外化 2 自责加深 想起自己的冷漠 "Two months of silence, my resistance" （2）情绪推进 我十分后悔，为自己的做法感到羞耻，并愧疚不已 请在下方横线处作答，书写你的句子：________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 步骤 情绪 触发点 细节外化 3 决心行动 妻子的支持 "My wife nodded and handed me the biscuits she had made" （3）情节推进 在妻子的帮助下，我决心真诚地向我兄弟道歉 请在下方横线处作答，书写你的句子：________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 步骤 情绪 触发点 细节外化 4 紧张忐忑 走向兄弟家门 "My heart pounded as I walked up the driveway" （4）衔接2 我内心又紧张又忐忑，走向兄弟家门 请在下方横线处作答，书写你的句子：________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ With the biscuits my wife had made, I arrived at my brother’ s door. 步骤 事件 情绪状态 核心细节 1 敲门等待 紧张忐忑 脚步沉重、手抖、想退缩 2 门开了，兄弟出现 意外 + 紧张升级 Toby 先出来破冰，兄弟表情难测 (1) 衔接3 我鼓起勇气按响门铃，先听到Toby的叫声；随后我兄弟惊讶地来开门。 请在下方横线处作答，书写你的句子：________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 步骤 事件 情绪状态 核心细节 3 递饼干道歉，兄弟沉默 脆弱 + 恐惧 声音发抖、时间凝固 (2) 情节推进（一定围绕核心人物展开，含回扣伏笔或情绪变化） 兄弟还没来得及说话，我就把饼干递给他 请在下方横线处作答，书写你的句子：________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 步骤 事件 情绪状态 核心细节 4 兄弟微笑点头，进门 释然 + 温暖 Toby 挤中间、"Come in, I've missed you" (3) 结尾 听到我说的话，兄弟情不自禁地点点头，并邀请我进门。我们相谈甚欢，冰释前嫌。 请在下方横线处作答，书写你的句子：________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ (4) 主旨升华 多亏了换位思考，与兄弟重新链接感觉太好了。 请在下方横线处作答，书写你的句子：________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 风向标·评分标准 第五档（很好）(21～25分)： (1)与所给短文融洽度高，与所提供各段落开头语衔接非常合理，文章内容新颖、丰富、合理，非常有逻辑性，续写完整； (2)所使用语法结构和词汇丰富、准确，语言错误很少，且完全不影响意义表达； (3)自然有效地使用了语句间的连接成分，使所续写短文结构紧凑，全文结构非常清晰，前后呼应，意义非常连贯。 锚高分·连句成篇 I realized it was me who was at fault. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ With the biscuits my wife had made, I arrived at my brother’ s door. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 多维评·复盘进阶 项目 填写内容 学生姓名 ____________________ 写作题目 2025年全国一卷读后续写真题 写作日期 ____________________ 互评同学姓名 ____________________ 本次核心 训练点 □ 情绪链追踪梳理 □ 句式多样化运用 □ 连句成篇逻辑衔接 □ 五档评分标准对标 · 总分汇总与档位确认 评分类型 自评总分 互评总分 最终得分（师评） 本次得分对应高考档位 得分 □ 五档（21-25 分） □ 四档（16-20 分） □ 三档（11-15 分） □ 二档（6-10 分） □ 一档（0-5 分） · 三级评语反馈 评价主体 评语内容 学生自评评语 对本次写作的整体评价、核心亮点、最明显的不足： 同学互评评语 对本次写作的亮点肯定、可落地的改进建议： 教师评语 对标五档标准的针对性反馈、高分提升路径： · 自我反思与进步规划 1. 本次写作的核心亮点（对标五档标准，我完全做到了的点）： ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 2. 本次写作的主要失分点 / 待改进的核心问题（对标五档标准，我还有哪些差距）： ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 3. 对比上一次写作，我取得的明确进步是： ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 4. 针对本次写作的不足，我下一步的具体提升计划（可落地、可检验）： ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 5. 我下一次写作的目标分数 / 档位是： ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 6. 我下一次写作一定要使用的句式或词汇： ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 1 / 19 学科网（北京）股份有限公司 $