内容正文:
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
Under my influence, my son Bob was fascinated with baseball and we often played together in our spare time. However, on a sunny day, I found myself wrapped up in my own world. I was comfortably seated on the sofa, drinking cool beer and attentively watching a live baseball game on TV. The excitement of the match had me completely absorbed.
Suddenly, Bob burst into the room, his face lit up with excitement.“ Dad, Dad, teach me how to catch the ball” he shouted, his eyes wide with anticipation. Without taking my eyes off the screen, I casually replied,“ In a bit, Bob. Let me finish this round. Come back in five minutes. “Bob agreed and ran out of the room joyfully.
Five minutes later, Bob returned. “ Dad, let's go Let's play catch now” he shouted, his enthusiasm visible. But the game was still in full swing, and I was absorbed in the action.“ Wait, son. The game isn't over yet. Come back in another five minutes,” I said.
Bob's shoulders trembled(颤抖) a little, and disappointment flashed in his eyes, but he nodded and left the room again. I felt a sense of guilt, but I was too caught up in the game to pay much attention to it.
When Bob came back a third time, I just opened another beer with no intention of moving. I glanced at a magazine on the coffee table. Its cover featured a large map of the world with a portrait of a famous person on the back. In a moment of frustration, I tore the cover into several pieces and threw them on the table.“ Put this world map back together, and then we' ll play catch. Don't bother me until you' re done,” I said, hoping this would keep him occupied for a long time.
Bob looked at me, his eyes filled with tears. He picked up the pieces and walked into another room, saying,“ Okay, Dad. I won't bother you until it's done.”
主意:1.续写词数应为150个左右;
2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Surprisingly, Bob returned soon with the complete map.
A wave of shame washed over me before I made a quick decision.
一、文本分析
1.角色
_______________________________________________________________________
2.视角
第______人称视角
3.时空线
家中客厅(“我”沉迷电视棒球比赛,喝着啤酒)--- 客厅(鲍勃兴奋闯入,请求“我”教他接球,“我”让他等五分钟)--- 客厅(五分钟后鲍勃返回,“我”再次让他等五分钟,鲍勃流露失望)--- 客厅(鲍勃第三次返回,“我”撕毁杂志封面让他拼好再玩)--- 客厅(鲍勃含泪接过碎片离开)--- (续写)______(第一段续写场景:客厅)--- (续写)______(第二段续写场景:户外/客厅)
4.文章线索
(1)“我”对棒球比赛的沉迷与“鲍勃对亲子接球的渴望”对情节发展有何作用?它如何成为推动“我”态度转变的关键动力?
(2)“我”三次拒绝鲍勃的敷衍态度与“鲍勃始终不变的期待”有何内在关联?二者如何共同凸显相关主题?
(3)“我”撕毁杂志封面让鲍勃拼图的细节与“鲍勃含泪答应”的反应有何深层意义?它们如何为后续“快速拼好地图”的情节做铺垫?
(4)故事的核心冲突是什么?“父亲的自我沉迷与儿子的亲子陪伴渴望”这条线索是如何逐步推进的?
5.情节线
受“我”影响,鲍勃痴迷棒球,父子常闲暇时一起玩 --- 晴朗日子,“我”沉迷电视棒球比赛,喝着啤酒无法自拔 --- 鲍勃兴奋闯入请求“我”教他接球,“我”让他等五分钟,鲍勃开心离开 --- 五分钟后鲍勃返回,“我”因比赛未结束再次让他等五分钟,鲍勃流露失望但点头离开 --- “我”虽有愧疚却仍沉迷比赛 --- 鲍勃第三次返回,“我”撕毁杂志封面(带世界地图与名人肖像)让他拼好再玩,想借此拖延时间 --- 鲍勃含泪接过碎片离开,承诺完成前不打扰 --- (续写)____________________________
--- (续写)__________________________________________
6.情感线
“我”(父亲):沉迷比赛的兴奋→ 应对鲍勃请求的敷衍→ 第二次拒绝时的些许愧疚→ 让鲍勃拼图时的烦躁→ 看到鲍勃快速拼好地图后的______→ 产生愧疚后的______→ 做出改变后的______
鲍勃(儿子):渴望接球的兴奋期待→ 第一次等待的满心欢喜→ 第二次等待的失望委屈→ 被要求拼图时的伤心无助→ 快速拼好地图后的______→ 与父亲互动时的______
7.文章大意概括
中文:
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
英文:
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________8.句式示例
宾语从句:
同位语:
状语从句:
比喻:
9.主题归类
________________________________________________________________
二、情节构造
第一段提示句:Surprisingly, Bob returned soon with the complete map.
衔接句 1—— 对 “父亲的反应与鲍勃的回应” 提问:“我”看到鲍勃快速拼好地图会有怎样的反应?会提出怎样的疑问?鲍勃会如何解释快速拼好的原因?
衔接句 2—— 对 “场景细节与心理变化” 提问:此时“我”会观察到鲍勃的哪些状态(神态、动作)?这些观察会让“我”产生怎样的心理变化?
过渡逻辑:请说明第一段情节如何为第二段的 “父亲的决定与行动” 做铺垫:________________________________________________________________
第二段提示句:A wave of shame washed over me before I made a quick decision.
衔接句 1—— 对 “父亲的决定与行动” 提问:“我”会做出怎样的决定?会有哪些具体的行动来弥补鲍勃?这些行动会如何体现“我”的愧疚与转变?
衔接句 2—— 对 “情节结局与主题升华” 提问:鲍勃面对“我”的弥补行动会有怎样的反应?这次经历让“我”收获了什么感悟?如何呼应“亲子陪伴与责任”的主题?
主题:
________________________________________________________________
三、段落构思
第一段:Surprisingly, Bob returned soon with the complete map.
梳理第一段写作思路:
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
续写:
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________第二段:A wave of shame washed over me before I made a quick decision.
梳理第二段写作思路:
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
续写:
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
参考答案
一、文本分析
1.角色
“我”(父亲):热爱棒球,易沉迷自身兴趣而忽视孩子;初期对儿子的请求敷衍不耐烦,内心虽有微弱愧疚但未及时行动,最终在儿子的举动中幡然醒悟,懂得亲子陪伴的珍贵。
鲍勃(儿子):受父亲影响痴迷棒球,渴望与父亲共度亲子时光;性格天真懂事,对父亲充满期待,即便多次被拒绝、感到委屈也未抱怨,始终坚守对陪伴的渴望,用智慧完成父亲的要求。
2.视角
第一人称视角(提示:以父亲“我”的亲身经历和心理变化展开叙事,真实呈现从“沉迷自我、忽视孩子”到“幡然醒悟、主动陪伴”的转变过程,增强故事的代入感与情感共鸣)
3.时空线
家中客厅(“我”沉迷电视棒球比赛,喝着啤酒)--- 客厅(鲍勃兴奋闯入,请求“我”教他接球,“我”让他等五分钟)--- 客厅(五分钟后鲍勃返回,“我”再次让他等五分钟,鲍勃流露失望)--- 客厅(鲍勃第三次返回,“我”撕毁杂志封面让他拼好再玩)--- 客厅(鲍勃含泪接过碎片离开)--- (续写)家中客厅(第一段续写场景:鲍勃快速拼好地图返回客厅,父子对话)--- (续写)户外庭院/家中到户外的路上(第二段续写场景:父亲关掉电视,带鲍勃外出打棒球)
4.文章线索
(1)“我”对棒球比赛的沉迷与“鲍勃对亲子接球的渴望”对情节发展有何作用?它如何成为推动“我”态度转变的关键动力?
作用:二者形成强烈的情感与行为冲突,是推动情节发展的核心矛盾;“我”的沉迷让拒绝行为不断升级(从简单等待到故意拖延),“鲍勃的渴望”让他始终坚持请求,逐步放大“我”的忽视与敷衍,为后续“我”的醒悟埋下伏笔。关键动力:这种冲突的不断升级,最终在鲍勃快速拼好地图的举动中达到顶点,让“我”彻底看清自己的自私,意识到对孩子的伤害,从而产生强烈的愧疚感,成为态度转变的核心动力。
(2)“我”三次拒绝鲍勃的敷衍态度与“鲍勃始终不变的期待”有何内在关联?二者如何共同凸显相关主题?
内在关联:“我”的敷衍拒绝一次次打压鲍勃的期待,却未让他放弃,反而更凸显出他对亲子陪伴的迫切渴望;而鲍勃的坚持也让“我”的敷衍显得更加刺眼,逐步唤醒“我”内心的愧疚。凸显主题:二者形成鲜明对比,突出了“亲子陪伴不可忽视,父母不应因自身兴趣而辜负孩子的纯真期待”这一主题,引发读者对亲情与责任的思考。
(3)“我”撕毁杂志封面让鲍勃拼图的细节与“鲍勃含泪答应”的反应有何深层意义?它们如何为后续“快速拼好地图”的情节做铺垫?
深层意义:“我”撕毁封面让鲍勃拼图,是刻意拖延、逃避陪伴责任的自私行为,体现了“我”对孩子请求的极度敷衍;“鲍勃含泪答应”则展现了他的懂事与委屈,即便被忽视也不愿违背父亲,凸显了他对父亲的依赖与对陪伴的执着。铺垫:“我”撕毁的封面“带有世界地图与名人肖像”这一细节,为鲍勃后续“通过拼肖像快速拼好地图”提供了合理依据;而鲍勃“含泪答应”的委屈状态,与他快速完成任务的认真态度形成对比,更能触动“我”的内心,推动“我”的醒悟。
(4)故事的核心冲突是什么?“父亲的自我沉迷与儿子的亲子陪伴渴望”这条线索是如何逐步推进的?
核心冲突:父亲因沉迷电视棒球比赛,多次敷衍、拒绝儿子鲍勃渴望亲子接球的请求,形成“父亲的自我沉迷”与“儿子的亲子陪伴渴望”之间的矛盾。推进过程:①铺垫:交代父子平时常一起玩棒球,与“我”此次沉迷比赛形成反差;②升级:鲍勃第一次请求被要求等五分钟(轻度敷衍)→ 第二次返回被再次推迟(敷衍升级)→ 第三次请求被安排拼图任务(刻意拖延,冲突达到顶点);③转折:鲍勃快速拼好地图返回,让“我”的忽视与自私彻底暴露,矛盾开始向“解决”方向转变;④解决:“我”产生强烈愧疚,主动放弃比赛,陪伴鲍勃打球,矛盾化解。
5.情节线
受“我”影响,鲍勃痴迷棒球,父子常闲暇时一起玩 --- 晴朗日子,“我”沉迷电视棒球比赛,喝着啤酒无法自拔 --- 鲍勃兴奋闯入请求“我”教他接球,“我”让他等五分钟,鲍勃开心离开 --- 五分钟后鲍勃返回,“我”因比赛未结束再次让他等五分钟,鲍勃流露失望但点头离开 --- “我”虽有愧疚却仍沉迷比赛 --- 鲍勃第三次返回,“我”撕毁杂志封面(带世界地图与名人肖像)让他拼好再玩,想借此拖延时间 --- 鲍勃含泪接过碎片离开,承诺完成前不打扰 --- (续写)鲍勃很快拼好地图返回客厅,“我”深感惊讶,询问后得知他通过拼肖像快速完成,内心受到触动 --- (续写)“我”心生强烈愧疚,关掉电视、放下啤酒,主动带鲍勃外出打棒球,弥补对他的忽视,亲子关系重归温暖
6.情感线
“我”(父亲):沉迷比赛的兴奋→ 应对鲍勃请求的敷衍→ 第二次拒绝时的些许愧疚→ 让鲍勃拼图时的烦躁→ 看到鲍勃快速拼好地图后的震惊→ 产生愧疚后的自责→ 做出改变后的真诚与欣慰
鲍勃(儿子):渴望接球的兴奋期待→ 第一次等待的满心欢喜→ 第二次等待的失望委屈→ 被要求拼图时的伤心无助→ 快速拼好地图后的忐忑与期待→ 与父亲互动时的开心与雀跃
7.文章大意概括
中文:受父亲影响,鲍勃痴迷棒球,父子俩常在闲暇时一起玩。但某天晴朗的日子,父亲沉迷于电视上的棒球直播比赛,喝着啤酒无法自拔。鲍勃兴奋地闯入请求父亲教他接球,父亲两次敷衍地让他等待,鲍勃虽流露失望仍选择顺从。当鲍勃第三次返回时,父亲为了拖延时间,撕毁了带世界地图和名人肖像的杂志封面,让他拼好再玩。鲍勃含泪接过碎片离开,并承诺完成前不打扰父亲。
英文:Influenced by me, my son Bob was fascinated with baseball, and we often played together in our spare time. However, on a sunny day, I was completely absorbed in a live baseball game on TV, drinking cold beer comfortably. Bob burst into the room excitedly, asking me to teach him how to catch the ball. I perfunctorily told him to wait for five minutes twice, and Bob left with disappointment but obedience. When Bob came back for the third time, I tore the magazine cover (with a world map and a celebrity portrait) into pieces and asked him to put it back together before we played, hoping to delay the time. Bob took the pieces with tears in his eyes and left, promising not to bother me until he finished.
8.句式示例
宾语从句:Dad, Dad, teach me how to catch the ball.
同位语:Its cover featured a large map of the world with a portrait of a famous person on the back.(“a large map of the world” 后补充说明封面背面的内容,丰富细节)
状语从句:When Bob came back a third time, I just opened another beer with no intention of moving.
比喻:A wave of shame washed over me before I made a quick decision.(将“愧疚感”比作“浪潮”,生动形象地写出愧疚感的强烈与汹涌)
9.主题归类
亲子陪伴是最珍贵的亲情财富,不应因个人兴趣而忽视;父母的敷衍与忽视会伤害孩子的纯真期待,及时的醒悟与弥补是维系亲子关系的关键;孩子的懂事与执着往往能唤醒父母的责任与爱意;珍惜与孩子相处的时光,是父母的重要责任。
二、情节构造
第一段提示句:Surprisingly, Bob returned soon with the complete map.
衔接句 1—— 对 “父亲的反应与鲍勃的回应” 提问:“我”看到鲍勃快速拼好地图会有怎样的反应?会提出怎样的疑问?鲍勃会如何解释快速拼好的原因?
答案:“我”看到鲍勃快速拼好地图会感到极度震惊,不敢相信自己故意拖延的任务被他这么快完成,甚至会怀疑地盯着地图确认是否完整。“我”会急切地问鲍勃:“你怎么这么快就拼好了?这可比我想的难多了!” 鲍勃会委屈又认真地解释,说地图背面有名人肖像,他先把肖像拼完整,对应的世界地图自然就拼好了。
衔接句 2—— 对 “场景细节与心理变化” 提问:此时“我”会观察到鲍勃的哪些状态(神态、动作)?这些观察会让“我”产生怎样的心理变化?
答案:“我”会观察到鲍勃的眼睛还有些发红,眼角可能残留着未擦干的泪痕,双手紧紧攥着拼好的地图,站姿有些拘谨却带着一丝期待。这些观察会让“我”内心受到强烈触动,之前的烦躁彻底消失,取而代之的是深深的愧疚与自责,意识到自己为了沉迷比赛,让孩子承受了这么多委屈,也看清了孩子为了能和自己玩而付出的认真。
过渡逻辑:请说明第一段情节如何为第二段的 “父亲的决定与行动” 做铺垫:
第一段中,鲍勃快速拼好地图的举动与他委屈的状态,彻底唤醒了“我”的愧疚感,让“我”深刻认识到自己的错误;鲍勃解释拼好地图的原因,更凸显了他的懂事与对陪伴的执着,坚定了“我”要弥补孩子的决心。这些心理铺垫让第二段“我”做出“关掉电视、带鲍勃打球”的决定变得顺理成章,也让后续的弥补行动更具情感张力。
第二段提示句:A wave of shame washed over me before I made a quick decision.
衔接句 1—— 对 “父亲的决定与行动” 提问:“我”会做出怎样的决定?会有哪些具体的行动来弥补鲍勃?这些行动会如何体现“我”的愧疚与转变?
答案:“我”会做出“立刻放下比赛,专心陪伴鲍勃打棒球”的决定。具体行动包括:毫不犹豫地关掉电视,放下手中的啤酒,主动走上前握住鲍勃的小手,真诚地向他道歉;然后拿起棒球装备,主动带领鲍勃走向户外庭院。这些行动彻底打破了之前“沉迷自我、敷衍孩子”的状态,用“主动放弃兴趣、主动道歉、主动带领孩子”的举动,直接体现了“我”的愧疚与彻底转变。
衔接句 2—— 对 “情节结局与主题升华” 提问:鲍勃面对“我”的弥补行动会有怎样的反应?这次经历让“我”收获了什么感悟?如何呼应“亲子陪伴与责任”的主题?
答案:鲍勃面对“我”的弥补行动会感到惊喜,之前的委屈会瞬间消散,眼睛会重新亮起,露出开心的笑容,主动跟上父亲的脚步,打球时会充满活力。这次经历让“我”感悟到:再精彩的比赛也比不上孩子的笑容,亲子陪伴的时光是不可复制、无比珍贵的;作为父亲,不能因个人兴趣而忽视孩子的纯真期待,承担起陪伴的责任,才是对孩子最好的关爱。呼应主题:“我”的醒悟与弥补行动,以及鲍勃重拾快乐的反应,直观展现了“重视亲子陪伴、承担父母责任”的重要性,完美呼应了“亲子陪伴与责任”的核心主题。
主题:亲子陪伴是亲情的核心,父母不应因自身私欲而忽视孩子的期待;及时的醒悟与真诚的弥补能修复亲子关系;珍惜与孩子相处的时光,主动承担陪伴的责任,才能让亲情更加温暖。
三、段落构思
第一段:Surprisingly, Bob returned soon with the complete map.
梳理第一段写作思路:①开篇点出“我”的震惊,呼应“Surprisingly”,刻画“我”盯着完整地图的神态;②通过“我”的疑问,引出鲍勃的解释,交代快速拼好地图的原因(拼背面肖像);③细节描写鲍勃的神态(红眼睛、泪痕)与动作,凸显他的委屈与认真;④刻画“我”的心理变化,从震惊过渡到愧疚,为第二段的决定做铺垫。
续写:Surprisingly, Bob returned soon with the complete map. I stared at the intact map in disbelief, my beer glass freezing mid-air. “How did you finish it so fast?” I asked, my voice full of shock. Bob wiped the remaining tears from his eyes with the back of his hand and said softly, “The back has a celebrity’s portrait. I put the face together first, and the map followed easily.” Looking at his red eyes and the way he held the map carefully, a sharp guilt stabbed at my heart—I’d made this little boy endure so much委屈 just to satisfy my own indulgence.
第二段:A wave of shame washed over me before I made a quick decision.
梳理第二段写作思路:①描写“我”愧疚的情绪状态,引出“快速决定”;②详细刻画弥补行动(关电视、放啤酒、道歉、拿装备带鲍勃外出),体现“我”的彻底转变;③描写鲍勃的反应(惊喜、开心、活力满满),展现亲子关系的修复;④通过“我”的内心感悟升华主题,点明亲子陪伴的珍贵。
续写:A wave of shame washed over me before I made a quick decision. I turned off the TV with a click, put down my beer, and knelt down to hold Bob tightly. “I’m so sorry, buddy. I shouldn’t have kept you waiting and made you sad,” I apologized sincerely. I grabbed the baseball and his small glove, pulling him toward the door. Bob’s eyes lit up instantly, and the sadness on his face was replaced by a bright smile. We played catch in the yard until sunset, his laughter echoing warmly. I finally understood that nothing in the world is more precious than the time spent with my child.
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