CHAPTER 18 第十八章-双语名著无障碍阅读丛书——《简·爱Jane Eyre》

CHAPTER 18 .__ 'I am very ill, I know,' she said ere long. 'I was trying to turn myself a few minutes since, and find I cannot move a limb. It is as well I should ease my mind before I die: what we think little of in health. burdens us at such an hour as the present is to me. Is the nurse here? or is there no one in the room but you?' I assured her we were alone. 'Well, I have twice done you a wrong which I regret now. One was in breaking the promise which I gave my husband to bring you up as my own child; the other- 'she stopped. 'After all, it is of no great importance, perhaps,' she murmured to herself, 'and then I may get better; and to humble{}myself so to her is painful.' She made an effort to alter her position, but failed: her face changed; she seemed to experience some inward sensation-the precursor{②, perhaps, of the last pang. 'Well, I must get it over. Eternity③ is before me: I had better tell her. Go to my dressing-case, open it, and take out a letter you will see there.' I obeyed her directions. 'Read the letter.' she said ·104· 第十八章 ...... “我的病很重,这我知道,”没有多久她 说,“几分钟之前,我一直想翻身,却发觉四 肢都不能动了。在我死之前我也要把我的头脑 放松下来。健康时我们想得很少的事,在眼下 这样的时刻,却成了我沉重的负担。护士在 吗?房间里除了你,没有别人吗?” 我让她放心只有我们两个。 “唤,我两次做了对不起你的事,现在很 懊悔。一次是违背了我向丈夫许下的,把你当 做自己孩子抚养成人的诺言。另一次--”她 ①humble /hambl/ v. 使.... 卑下 停住了。“也许这毕竟无关紧要。”她嘀地 自言自语说:“那样我也许会好过些,但是, 向她低声下气实在使我痛苦。” ② precursor /prr'ka:sa/ n. 先 驱者, 她挣扎着要改变一下她的姿势,但没有成 ③eternity /t'ta:nitu/ n. 永远 功。她的脸变了形。她似乎经历着某种内心情 感--也许是最后一阵痛苦的先兆。 “俟,我必须了却它。死神在向我招手, 我还是告诉她好。到我化妆盒跟前,打开它, ·105· JaneFyre It was short, and thus conceived{① Madam: Will you have the goodness to send me the address of my niece, Jane Eyre, and to tell me how she is. It is my intention to write shortly and desire her to come to me at Madeira. Providence has blessed my endeavours to secure a competency: and as I am unmarried and childless, I wish to adopt^{②}her during my life, and bequeath③}her at my death whatever I may have to leave. John Eyre, Madeira. It was dated three years back. 'Why did I never hear of this?' I asked 'Because I dislike you too fixedly and thoroughly ever to lend a hand in lifting you to prosperity. I could not forget your conduct to me, Jane-the fury with which you once turned on me; the tone in which you declared you abhorred④me the worst of anybody in the world; the unchildlike look and voice with which you affirmed that the very thought of me made you sick, and asserted that I had treated you with miserable cruelty. I could not forget my own sensations when you thus started up and poured out the venom} of your mind: I felt fear as if an animal that I had struck or pushed had looked up at me with human eyes and cursed^{} me in a man's voice-Bring me some water! Oh,make haste!' 'Dear Mrs Reed,' said I, as I offered her the draught she required, 'think no more of all this, let it pass away from your mind. Forgive me for my passionate⑧ language; I was a child then; eight, ·106. 简·爱 ① conceive /kon'sitv/ v. 构 把你看到的一封信拿出来。” 思,以为:表达 我听从她的哈咐。“读信,”她说 这封信很短,内中写道 夫人: 烦请看在上帝的份上施恩寄我侄女简·爱 的地址,并告知其近况。我的目的是稍后给她 ②adopt /s'dppt/ v. 收养 写信,希望她见信来马德里我处。靠着上帝的 ③ bequeath /br'kwi:ò/ v. 选 赠,遗留 赐福,我的辛勤劳动有了回报-一目前我家境 富裕。我未要无后,甚望有生之年将她收为养 女,并在死后将全部财产馈赠予她 约翰·爱谨启于马德里 写信的时间是三年之前 “怎么我从来没听说过这事?”我问。 “因为我对你的厌恶已经根深蒂固,完全 不愿意帮助你发迹。我忘不了你怎么对我指指 ④abhor /ab'ho:/ v. 憎恶,痛 恨 点点,简-我也忘不了你狂怒地对着我的举 assert /'sa:t/u.主张,声时 止、你说你在世上最讨厌我时的腔调;你声言 一想起我就使你恶心,我待你冷酷时,你说话 丝毫不像孩子的神情与口气。我也忘不了当你 venom /venam/ n. 毒液. 恶意 跳起来把心头一腔怨气发泄出来时自己的感受。 我觉得害怕,仿佛我打过或推过的动物,用人 curse /ka:s/v. 诅咒,咒骂 一样的目光看着我,用人的语言诅咒我--拿 些水来!俟,快点!” “亲爱的里德太太,”我把她要的水端给她 时说,“别再想这些了,你就忘了它吧,原谅 ⑧ passionate /paefanit/ a. 激 烈的 我那些过激的言词,当时我还是个孩子,现在 ·107· JaneEyre nine years have passed since that day.' She heeded{} nothing of what I said; but when she had tasted the water and drawn breath, she went on thus- 'I tell you I could not forget it: and I took my revenge②: for you to be adopted by your uncle, and placed in a state of ease and comfort, was what I could not endure. I wrote to him: I said I was sorry for his disappointment, but Jane Eyre was dead: she had died of typhus fever at Lowood. Now act as you please: write and contradict ③ my assertion-expose my falsehood as soon as you like. You were born, I think, to be my torment: my last hour is racked④ by the recollection of a deed which, but for you, I should never have been tempted to commit." ... 'Love me, then, or hate me, as you will,'I said at last,'you have my full and free forgiveness: ask now for God's and be at peace.' Poor suffering woman! it was too late for her to make now the effort to change her habitual frame of mind: living, she had ever hated me; dying, she must hate me still. ._. . 108. 简·爱) 八、九年已经过去了。” ①heed /hi:d/v. 注意到,留心 她没有理会我说的话。不过喝了水,吸了 到 口气后,她又继续说-- “我告诉你我忘不了这些,并且报复了。 ② revenge /rr'vendy/ n. 复仇 报复 如果你叔叔把你领养,让你安稳舒适过日子, 我是不能忍受的。我写信给他,说是很遗憾使 他失望了,因为简·爱已经死了,在罗沃德死 ③ contradict /k pntra'drkv/ v 于斑痊伤寒。现在你随便吧,写封信否认我的 反驳,矛盾 说法、尽快揭露我的话,都一样。对我来 说,你生来就是我的冤家。在我最后的时光还 ④rack /raek/ v. 折磨,使..... 痛苦 让过去的事来折磨我,要不是因为你,我是不 会经不住诱惑犯罪的。” ..... “那么,爱我也好,恨我也好,都没有关 系,”我最后说,“你已经彻底得到了我的宽 恕。现在请求上帝的宽恕,安息吧。” 可怜而痛苦的女人!现在再努力改变习惯 的思维结构已经为时太晚了。活着时,她一直 恨我-死的时候,她一定依然恨我。 ..... ·109·