内容正文:
Section Ⅳ Writing——写一篇关于健康饮食的描述性文章
本单元的写作任务是写一篇关于健康饮食的文章,属于说明文范畴,旨在通过帮助学生积累有关健康饮食的知识,深化对健康饮食这一主题的理解,并反思自身饮食习惯。
跟课文学写作范式
(一)课文范式提炼
(二)写作要点指津
说明文是写作中常见的一种文体,用简明的文字来说明事物,不带任何个人感情色彩,不需要生动的细节和背景,纯粹是客观的阐述。写作时应注意以下几个方面:
1.写作时抓住事物的特征,即抓住事物的个性特征。
2.安排合理的说明顺序,如时间顺序、空间顺序、逻辑顺序等。
3.恰当使用说明方法,如下定义说明、举例说明、分类说明、比较说明、引用说明、比喻说明、数字说明等。
4.语言简练、用词准确,具有科学性、客观性、知识性。
跟课文学亮点表达
阅读文章第一自然段,习得以下素养
★学亮点表达
1.本段第一句中使用debate表述了人们对健康饮食的认知是不一样的这一客观事实,很自然地引入健康饮食这一话题。短语regardless of强调了作者有关糖分是健康杀手的这一观点的普适性。
2.本段中数据的运用也增强了作者所提观点的客观性,使得表达准确,更有说服力。
[微写作1]——补全句子
(1)案件震惊了公众,在互联网上引发了关于人性的热议。
The case shocked the public, causing a hot debate on human nature on the Internet.
(2)志愿者的目标是帮助灾难中的受害者,不论他们的种族或国籍。
The volunteers aim to help victims of disasters regardless of their race or nationality .
★学逻辑衔接
本段开头用“There is much debate…”引出话题,接着用However过渡到自己的观点,引导读者关注文章的关键信息。“For example, However, Put more simply”等衔接词的应用,使得表达层层递进,富有逻辑,也增强了层次感。
阅读文章第二至第四自然段,习得以下素养
★学亮点表达
1.第二段第一句用extra准确说明了危害人们健康的是过多摄入的糖分。第二句中的average 以及具体的数字说明了美国人摄入糖分过多的普遍性。第三句中用which引导的非限制性定语从句对100~150 calories这一抽象的数据进行了形象的补充说明。最后一句中的cut down on和cut out等短语突出强调了“要想身体健康,就必须少吃甜点,完全禁饮甜饮料”这一提示。
2.第三段第一句运用especially和rather than 把作者对新鲜食物和加工食品的态度表达得清晰明确;第四、五句中形容词key和ideal 的运用使得句子表意准确清晰,给读者以深刻印象;第一句中which引导的非限制性定语从句和第三句中 it作形式主语(it is also important to have some meat…)的使用,提升了文章的档次。
3.第四段第二句运用了“It takes some time to do sth”这一句型,引起读者对吃饱了这一感觉与吃饭时所用时间的思考,呼应段落主题句中强调的“细嚼慢咽”。第五句中的consistent把对我们的健康更有好处的饮食习惯进行了准确的界定——饮食要“始终如一”。
[微写作2]——补全句子
(1)大部分广告也都是宣传课外辅导机构,这些课外辅导机构因给学生们施加了额外的学习压力一直受到指责。
The majority of the ads were also promoting extra-curricular education institutions, which have been criticized for putting extra academic pressure on students .
(2)我们需要通过减少路上的汽车数量来减少汽油的消耗。
We need to cut down on our gas consumption by having fewer cars on the road.
(3)文化遗产属于全人类而不是个人。
Cultural relics belong to the human beings rather than individuals .
(4)去另一个国家学习需要很大的调整,通常需要一些时间来适应。
Going to another country to study requires a big adjustment and it usually takes some time to fit in .
★学写作方法
1.第三段通过对比、下定义、举例等方式说明保持健康饮食需要吃新鲜食物,并保证均衡饮食。多种说明手法的运用使得说明表意清晰,通俗易懂。
2.第四段通过说理、引述研究成果等方式说明细嚼慢咽的重要性,并补充说明保持固定的进食习惯的益处。
阅读文章第五自然段,习得以下素养
★学亮点表达
第五段中最后一句运用“It is up to you to do sth(做某事取决于你自己)”这一句型,掷地有声、发人深省。这也是对上文的总结,如何生活,如何作出选择,一切靠自己来决定。
[微写作3]——补全句子
一切全依靠你自己来选择最适合你的路。
It is up to you to pick the best path for you.
★学写作手法
第五段首句以一个否定句强有力地表述了自己的看法,引起读者兴趣;第二句中Rather和第五句中However的运用,成功引导读者关注作者的看法;第四、五两句中两个if条件句,有效引发了读者的思考,也自然过渡到了自己的结论——你想如何生活、如何做出正确的饮食抉择,这完全取决于你自己。
(一)输入好词
1.be bad for one's health 对某人的健康有害
2.be good for one's health 对某人的健康有益
3.unhealthy eating habits 不健康的饮食习惯
4.be rich in 富含……
5.be high/low in 含……高/低
6.be on a diet 节食
7.break down (身体)垮掉
8.cure sb of 治愈某人……
9.build up one's body 强身健体
10.form a good eating habit 养成好的饮食习惯
11.mental condition 精神状态
12.relax oneself 自我放松
13.stay healthy 保持健康
14.suffer from 遭受……
(二)输入好句
◎常用开头句
1.Living a healthy lifestyle lies in having a healthy diet.What is a healthy diet?过健康的生活方式在于有健康的饮食。什么是健康饮食?
2.Healthy eating habits are very important for our health.But how can we form a healthy eating habit?
健康的饮食习惯对我们的健康非常重要。但是我们如何才能养成健康的饮食习惯呢?
3.I am sorry to hear that you have been gaining/putting on weight recently and you are upset about it.我很抱歉听到你最近体重增加了,而且你对此很不高兴。
4.Recently, I have a big headache that I always like to eat fast food so much.最近我遇到一件头疼的事,就是我总是喜欢吃如此多的快餐。
5.Do you have a healthy diet?A healthy diet is actually a balanced one.你有健康的饮食吗?健康的饮食实际上是均衡的饮食。
6.People are beginning to attach much more importance to their health these days than ever before.
如今人们开始比以往更重视他们的健康。
◎常用中间句
7.Don't skip breakfast.不要不吃早餐。
8.Eat more grains, fruits and vegetables.
多吃谷物、水果和蔬菜。
9.We should also eat less meat every day and we had better drink a glass of milk in the morning or at night.我们每天还应该少吃肉,最好每天早上或晚上喝一杯牛奶。
10.We'd better take part in more outdoor activities instead of sitting in front of TV sets or computers for a long time, which is bad for our health.我们最好多参加户外活动,而不是在电视或电脑前坐很长时间,这对我们的健康有害。
11.A balanced diet and regular exercise can help us keep healthy both physically and mentally.
均衡的饮食和规律的锻炼能帮助我们保持身心健康。
12.We must admit the fact that eating junk food is harmful to our health.
我们必须承认吃垃圾食品有害健康的事实。
13.I would strongly advise you to combine the balanced diet and exercise.我将强烈建议你把均衡的饮食和锻炼结合起来。
14.A healthy diet consists of eating a variety of foods rich in vitamins, fibre and mineral.
健康饮食包括吃各种各样的富含维生素、纤维和矿物质的食物。
15.In my opinion, we should try to develop healthy eating habits to build up a strong body.
在我看来,我们应当努力养成健康的饮食习惯来增强体质。
◎常用结束句
16.I hope you'll find these suggestions helpful.我希望你会发现这些建议有帮助。
17.Only in this way can you have a healthy diet in the future.
只有这样,在未来你才能有健康的饮食。
18.All in all, we should eat healthy food to keep ourselves energetic.总之,我们应该吃健康的食物来保持精力充沛。
19.Could you give me some suggestions and a healthy recipe for me?
你能给我一些建议和一个健康的食谱吗?
20.As the saying goes, you are what you eat.In order to keep fit, please have a healthy diet.正如俗话所说,人如其食。为了保持健康,请有健康的饮食。
【写作要求】
假如你是李华,你的英国笔友Anne在她的微博中写到她为了减肥吃减肥药,而且经常不吃饭,导致身体变得很虚弱,状态不佳。请你在她的微博上用英文给她留言,内容包括:
1.指出吃减肥药的坏处;
2.提出一些健康的减肥方法,如慢跑、保持均衡的饮食等。
注意:1.词数80左右;
2.可以适当增加细节,以使行文连贯。
参考词汇:减肥药weight-loss pill 慢跑jogging
【四步成文】
第一步:审题谋篇
(一)审题
1.确定体裁:本文为 健康饮食 类应用文;
2.确定人称:本文的主要人称应为第 二 人称;
3.确定时态:以 一般现在时 为主。
(二)构思
1.指出减肥药的危害,并提出建议;
2.介绍几种健康的减肥方法;
3.总结全文。
第二步:由词扩句
1.你应该立刻停止服用减肥药。
You should stop taking weight-loss pills in no time .
2.它们对你的健康有害。
They are harmful to your health.
3.还有很多其他的减肥方法。
There are many other ways to lose weight .
4.慢跑是一种很受欢迎的运动方式。
Jogging is quite a popular form of exercise.
5.你可以在早上或晚饭后做这件事。
You may do it in the morning or after supper .
6.另一种方法是你应该保持均衡的饮食。
Another way is that you should keep a balanced diet .
7.这也是一种有效的减肥和保持健康的方法。
It is also an effective way of losing weight and keeping healthy.
8.如果你坚持锻炼和保持均衡饮食,你会成功的。
If you insist on exercising and keeping a balanced diet , you will make it.
第三步:句式升级
1.用because合并第二步中的句1和句2
You should stop taking weight-loss pills in no time because they are harmful to your health.
2.用which引导的非限制性定语从句合并第二步中的句6和句7
Another way is that you should keep a balanced diet, which is also an effective way of losing weight and keeping healthy.
第四步:连句成篇
One possible version:
Dear Anne,
I'm sorry to learn that you are upset about being overweight recently. I think you should stop taking weight-loss pills in no time because they are harmful to your health.
There are many other ways to lose weight.For example, jogging is quite a popular form of exercise.You may do it in the morning or after supper.Another way is that you should keep a balanced diet, which is also an effective way of losing weight and keeping healthy.
In a word, if you insist on exercising and keeping a balanced diet, you will make it.
Yours,
Li Hua
假定你是某国际学校的学生李华,你校英文校刊饮食栏目正在开展健康饮食的活动,向全体同学征稿,请你以“Be a Smart Eater”为题目,用英语写一篇短文,向该栏目投稿。内容包括:
1.健康饮食的重要性;
2.如何健康饮食;
3.发出倡议。
注意:1.词数80左右;
2.可以适当增加细节,以使行文连贯。
One possible version:
Be a Smart Eater
As the saying goes, “You are what you eat.” Healthy eating is of great importance, because it ensures that our bodies function well.
Firstly, keep a balanced and varied diet by consuming different categories of fresh foods, which provide various nutrients essential for our health.Moreover, consistent eating habits are recommended.In addition, eating slowly with a modest amount of food each time is fundamental to healthy eating.
Let's have a healthy diet and be a smart eater from now on.Only in this way will we lead a long and healthy life.
That's all.Thank you!
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