内容正文:
43
写 作
[典题在线]
请根据下面表格中的提示,以“My
school
trip”为题,写一篇短文,介绍你们班上周学校郊
游的相关情况。
参加人员 我班全体师生
活动内容 去黄山旅游并野营,自带食品和饮料
出发时间 上个星期六早晨7:30
集合地点 学校门口
交通工具 公交车
[审题谋篇]
这是一篇关于学校郊游的话题习作,属于
记叙文范畴。
根据要点提示,本写作可分为三段:第一段
开篇要点题,说明郊游地点和参与者,第二段详
细描述这次学校郊游活动,最后一段表达感受。
该类写作时态多以一般过去时为主,人称
以第一人称为主。
[写作提纲]
[连词成句]
请选用方框中的关键词翻译下列句子。
happy exciting flower have
a
good
time
visit beach museum trip gift tired
fly
a
kite feed
chickens play
badminton
take
a
walk climb
mountains go
fishing
have
a
picnic take
photos go
boating
go
swimming go
camping go
cycling
1.
上周,我们班的所有老师和学生都去学校旅
行了。
2.
我们沿途看见了许多漂亮的花和树。
3.
我们在那儿拍了很多漂亮的照片。
4.
我们在山上玩得很开心。
5.
总的来说,我们的学校郊游真的很令人
兴奋。
6.
虽然我们很累,但我们感到很开心。
[连句成篇]
My
school
trip
Last
week,
al
the
teachers
and
students
of
our
class
went
on
a
school
trip.
①
We
visited
Mount
Huang
and
went
camp
there.
We
met
at
the
school
gate
at
7:30
last
Saturday
morning
and
②
then
we
took
the
bus
and
went
to
Mount
Huang.
We
took
some
food
and
drinks
with
us.
We
saw
many
beautiful
flowers
and
trees
along
the
way.
③
We
enjoy
the
excelent
cloud
sea,
too.
We
took
many
beautiful
photos
there.
④
We
had
a
good
time
and
had
a
picnic
on
the
mountain.
Al
in
al,
our
school
trip
was
realy
exciting.
We
were
tired
but
we
felt
very
happy.
[名师点评]
文章采取“三段式”结构:首先引入主题,接
着具体介绍,最后进行总结。本文结构完整,意
思表达明确,从整体上来看还是不错的。
2整合提优
44
但该作文在细节方面尚存一些语法和用词
错误需要改正,比如第①③句均存在这方面的
问题。
另外,该作文在句式、用词方面还有一些提
升的空间,比如:②句不符合英文行文习惯;④
句逻辑关系不够顺畅。
[千锤百炼]
A.
单句改错:请找出并改正下列句子中唯一的
一处错误。
1.
We
visited
Mount
Huang
and
went
camp
there.
2.
We
enjoy
t